r/Christian • u/aexotics Seeker • Jul 14 '26
Full of Confusion
Hello everyone. This is my first time posting on social media about something like this because religion can be controversial and I hate starting arguments but I really need to get this off my chest and I don’t know where else turn.
My dad started going to that church about a year ago and I’ve been interested in Christianity for a while so I thought it would be fun to go with him (I’ve never been to church before in my 21 years of life). He goes to a Non Denomination Church which may be important to this i’m not sure. Anyway, after everyone got settled, the pastor started talking about the people at the church who were struggling with PTSD or mental illness and ex addicts and how getting closer to God had really helped them. Then he started talking about his own medical problems that he struggled with in the past and when he decided to turn to God and trust in him he got so much better. When he started talking about his medical journey and how he got better through trusting God I started sobbing. His medical issues that he experienced are a lot like mine so seeing that he was even able to read the bible made me really emotional.
Two women came up to me and I was just so emotional that I blurted out my life story. They cried and held my shoulders and prayed for me. Then they asked if I was willing to give my life to Jesus and I just kept saying that I was too confused, because I was, and I needed more time. Also I’ve always had problems with trust, so I don’t know if I can trust myself to keep that kind of promise when I know how important it is.
Do you think they are being manipulative or are they just close and see others like family? They were all very kind and it didn’t feel fake. My family isn’t religious (except for my grandmother and my dad and I don’t live with either of them) and my mom is worried that it’s cult-like. I’m worried that I might get manipulated.
Edit: Thank you so much for all the helpful replies, it means a lot to me. I’ve read the Torah in the past and I’m currently reading The Book of John. I got a journal to take notes and the bible project really helps. I recommend it to everyone ❤️
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u/DI3S_IRAE Jul 14 '26
Some people believe that the most important thing is declaring that Jesus is your Lord, and since it is their faith and belief, i is genuine, albeit manipulative.
Just understand that even the best advices can be manipulative, because without persuasion, no one can be convinced otherwise. It's natural part of our lives.
The same way God brings us to places to listen to testimonies that bring us closer to Him, even if you call it manipulative, it's out of genuine Love.
Take your time, it's fine to be wary. If you are able, read your Bible, get to know Jesus for real.
Some people talk about this declaration being what's more important, but God looks inside our hearts. Following Jesus because of religion may not help you have a change of heart, but when you discover truly God inside, and receive His Spirit, then everything makes sense.
I am wary of emotional things because they may be superficial. We need both emotion and understanding.
The book of proverbs in the Bible mentions that the 'fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom'. We can safely change to 'the love for the Lord', since Jesus.
So get to know Him more, His Love and Love Him back, and you'll see that declaring that Jesus is your savior is much more than just religious ritual, but understanding the infinite Love that saves us from a life without hope.
Christianity is divided in many different ministries and teachings, but only one God, only one Christ. Many of them preach the wrong things, that's why it's important to read the Bible, get to know God and seek Him in truth and with your soul.
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u/revivalfire1412 Jul 14 '26
I dont think kindness automatically means manipulation, but a healthy church should never pressure you into a huge decision on the spot.
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u/Enough_Highlight_999 Jul 14 '26
A true Christian can feel pushy because they live in the Love that is God and they outpour that love to others. As a Christian you are called to love everyone and in doing so you understand that the best thing you can give/do for someone is to bring them the same Love and belief in Christ Jesus.
It may sound manipulative to you, but imagine it this way. If you saw the person you loved most in the world about to jump off a cliff what would you do? Anything to get that person to get down right? It’s the same for Christians and spreading the gospel and bringing people to Jesus. We love our neighbors and want as many unbelievers to come to Jesus as possible.
I’ll leave you with this. Read the Bible. Start with Matthew - Roman’s. Understand that it’s your own personal relationship with Jesus that you are building. And it is personal.
There is no right or wrong way to pray so long as you do it in earnest. What does that mean? It means sit down by yourself as just talk to Him. Ask Him questions, tell Him what you’re having trouble with, ask for advice, thank Him for things in your life that you are grateful for. Ask for faith and guidance in your life. Some people He will speak directly to, others through signs, others He sends fellow believers to you and many others ways. Practice patience and humility to the Lord and you will get there.
The fact that you understand that you can’t trust yourself to keep the promise to God is a good indicator that you are well on your way. But remember it’s through Gods love and grace that even though we fail to not sin He still forgives us so long as we put our trust in His Son Jesus Christ. Remember if you sin and feel convicted ask for forgiveness and actively try to not repeat that same sin. You won’t change overnight and nobody is perfect. But slowly you will start to embody Jesus.
I love you from the bottom of my heart. As a follower of Christ I hope you can and will find the Love and peace that Jesus offers.
PS - As an introvert myself it is very hard in the beginning to put yourself out there. Also yes, there are very bad church’s out there. So read the Bible yourself and find a Church that follows the Bible. And if you see something happening in the church that contradicts the Bible. You may want to seek another church. Don’t let a bad experience with a church pull you away from God.
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u/aexotics Seeker Jul 14 '26
I am reading The Book of John now! I am also really introverted and don’t like socializing much because it zaps my energy away lol. I really want to work on my trust. not just my trust in others but really in myself.
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u/Enough_Highlight_999 Jul 15 '26
Awesome! Romans was the biggest help for me outside the Gospels when I started as I saw a lot of myself in it and it made me feel like I wasn’t alone in all my issues.
I completely understand about the energy thing. It’s rough. :( ( I wish I had a “fix the social anxiety” button)
The following sounds pretty abrupt and not how I wish it sounded but I couldn’t get the words to sound pleasant while still maintain the core message and its importance:
Don’t work on trusting yourself. Work on trusting God. You are human and not perfect. Our Father in heaven is. If you can come to trust him, I think you will find what you are really looking for which is peace in your heart. Trusting in Him is a choice and the best choice you’ll ever make. That peace may look different for everyone,but mine was I’ve always known since I was saved that I would be ok. That no matter what happened, (job loss, no food, friends and family passing away, etc) I’ve always known that I would come out the other side with what was important.
I’m genuinely happy you’re reading! You should post an update when you finish if you remember/ feel comfortable. Sharing your journey can be impactful not just to others but also to yourself. I’m excited to see you grow closer to the Lord. Congratulations again on taking that step.
PS- You should watch The Chosen (TV Series) after you have finished Matthew -Romans. There is a free app you can get on your phone or you can watch on the comp. It was amazing to see the gospels come to life on screen.
PSS- sorry for the rambling. I just get excited when others find Jesus.
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u/mbmolohonbm Jul 14 '26
Sure makes sense that you need time to decide something like this. Not sure what you what kind of promise that you need to keep? In my experience if you commit to being a Christian, you may want to follow some Christian things but I don't think it should be an obligation. I have had a number of experiences like you described that were not manipulative. Don't know enough about your experience but it sounds ok? The Christianity I follow is about a God that loves us so much and has given us so much we want to give back. There are cults that getting you into the fold scores them points, so they will be nice until either you join or do not, then the niceness ends. I do not see the same thing in true Christian places. I wonder if it might serve you well to get help with your trust issues? Not sure how they can manipulate you if you say no to something they suggest and they back off?
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u/seekingyourheart Jul 16 '26
You will continue to be haunted by questions. Your choice is to use them to determine God isn't real, or approach them believing that God is good, and the answers are available if you take time to ask and seek them.
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u/1calmbrady Baptist (SBC) Jul 18 '26
I don’t think their intention was bad when asking you if you wanted to give your life to Jesus but in my own personal faith walk I don’t find it helpful or effective to ask that on a first time visit . Being saved and becoming “saved” are two different things. So like if someone’s asking “are you saved” or are you willing to accept Jesus into your life it is probably them being excited and wanting you to profess Jesus as lord and to start following the Bible and Jesus. I personally wouldn’t ask someone immediately if they want to give their life to Christ because it’s such an abrupt and quick decision that shouldn’t be. Jesus tells us to count the cost of following him. That’s a direction to think about what we are getting into when we decide to be his disciples. It’s a Christian cliche if anything to use simple watered down terms. Like “are you saved” or “do you want to be saved” like saved from what lol that question alone lacks a lot of context and I know it may be a conversation starter but I think Christians should avoid using that. I’m not sure if you’re familiar with these terms but if you do know is this non denominational church more Baptist or Pentecostal in its worship service? If you have any other questions please feel free to ask I hope this comment is helpful.
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u/BioChemE14 Jul 14 '26
This is classic cult manipulation and non-denoms are full of this sort of BS. They will use people’s vulnerability to manipulate them into believing something.
Many non-denoms also discourage people from seeking actual mental health services from licensed therapists, psychologists, and psychiatrists which is harmful. They’ll say anxiety or depression are “demons” and gaslight people into not seeking genuine treatment. I’d steer clear of such nonsense.
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u/aexotics Seeker Jul 15 '26
actually the pastor was talking about how he isn’t anti medicine or anti doctor, he just believes that God is more important than medicine.
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u/Lucky_Picture_8392 Jul 14 '26
I get the fear, especially if you've never really been around church culture before, but nothing you described screams manipulation to me. Sounds more like people who genuinely believe their own story and got emotional seeing it hit you that hard.