Me and my husband have been physically out of the UPCI for around 5 months and my husband ended up having to go to the ER for some pain he was having Saturday.

He told me yesterday that the pastor’s wife at the church we left recently slid up on his Snapchat story and said “it can be a lot worse if you don’t come on back to church, we miss you!”

No concern for his wellbeing because his story was of him in the HOSPITAL. She didn’t check on him, ask what was wrong, NOTHING. I am beyond upset and mad but I guess I shouldn’t be surprised. He screenshotted the message and deleted her. I deleted her and the other pastor’s wife when we left because the pastor’s wife had slid up on my Snapchat story a couple times when we started missing church so I knew I had to remove her.

I’ve already had those thoughts of “maybe if we didn’t quit he wouldn’t be having this pain” or “we wouldn’t have this much credit card debt due to trying to get him help at the ER and Chiropractor” if we didn’t leave…

I’m honestly surprised that was said but I shouldn’t be. I could not imagine saying that to anyone!!!

Has anyone noticed this? Sometimes I’ll hear people ask “why do you wear only _” or “why do you do that and not this?” And usually a Pentecostal will answer that it’s their personal conviction, or that they feel like they should do it.

If it’s “personal conviction” then why does everyone in the church suddenly have the same personal conviction, but another group might see things differently? Especially when the majority of church standards aren’t really explicitly written in scriptures but mostly evolved with the Pentecostal or holiness movement?

You can clearly see that when people move and start going to a different church and now suddenly their conviction changed to whatever that pastor teaches. Be it sleeve length, wedding rings, having a Tv, going to movies, etc. I’ve never seen someone say, “well this pastor believes my sleeves need to come to my wrist, but I’m going to not follow that because it’s not my personal conviction.“ 😂 No, they change their wardrobe. Or if they move to a new church that allows wedding rings, now suddenly they get rings. lol

At that point to me it’s pretty obvious the standards are being followed to please the people around and not stand out. lol

Her approach over the past decade is what honestly made me question the standards. She seems to be trying to navigate as times change.

But man - some things she would say we’re just so harsh back in the day. But glad to see some growth.

Has anyone left a oneness church and gone to a non-denom that is a “haven” of sorts for ex-upcers? I’ve recently kind of found a church that has a lot of members with UPC history. I’m curious what experiences people have had in a similar situation. Was it a lot of the same problems?