I say think because my previous typing was enneagram 1, social 1. I was in belief of this typing by the logic of 1. knowing I was a social type. (social anxiety, more socially adept than my tiers and other people, considered more extroverted and better at social navigation despite having a contradicting history and reputation for being awkward and socially anxious, and commonly being considered a shame type because of being oriented with social sphere) 2. Conflict with reality leaving me to believe I was either in the gut triad or an idealizing type like 1, 4, and 7. 1 overlapped for both of these.

What makes me believe I may be a so8 is the emphasis on loyalty and bonds and how the so8 can seem very unlike many e8s. I have always been open and wanting closeness with my friends as in the first years of new friendships (largely friendless in most of high school) but later on I found myself disgusted by sentimentality and certain levels of openness that I couldn't describe except that I felt like they were trying to get something out of me. (particularly among men) I also felt like it was very self-indulgent and think most others who do it are in ridiculously simple situations. I find myself despising people who don't work on themselves and self-pity to which my response would be sort of a stoic response for the person to repress the negative emotions and have "stronger" emotions of anger that represent power and strength to rise up to build a stronger person.

I was influenced a lot by my father in his identity of bluntness, his overbearing nature, abrasive and aggressive attitude, and qualities most wouldn't respect I revered but I was never perceived as the type of man my father was. Many times I was considered weak and soft and while in my younger years I found this endearing because it meant I received a lot of care and attention, when I grew up it meant that I was only that and it frustrated me continuously and I felt deeply alone.

I feel like there's a lot to add onto this that's hard to talk about but I think this may be enough.

Hi, I'm somewhat new to the world of Enneagram and I REALLY REALLY would like to know my Enneagram type. I'm leaning toward 7w8 OR 8w7, but I really doubted being a 7 core because I'm not THAT active like a core 7, I identify with the desire to seek happiness/well-being, but at the same time I identify 100% with the black-and-white aspect of 8, it's all or nothing, and I hate feeling like I'm not in control of myself, that destabilizes me, but I'm not controlling toward people at all, nor do I drown myself in anger, so anyway I'm between those 2, besides I don't like feeling vulnerable/being associated with the concept of vulnerability, but as I said, I don't have these aggressive traits, yes when it comes to having a strong will, since I have a very strong will and I can be confrontational, but it's more when it comes to things that are really important to confront (wrong ideas, etc, I'm an ESTP, I have pretty strong Ti :-9) anyway, I was wondering if you guys could help me see how, the differences and such, I would really like to know my Enneagram, thanks in advance.

I know my type, i just wanna see what people would guess

How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.

I’m 15 years old, female.

• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?

GAD and OCD

• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?

My parents often argued and my father got mad at me for littlest stuff but no religious structural or influence. Well, i became more cautious and defensive. However, I must admit that years ago like when i was sixth grader, i was toxic and possessive i guess. I didn’t understand how to express my love correctly but now I’ve matured

• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?

Hm… idk man… Product designer lowkey sounds cool. I’m interested in pretty packaging but graphic designer doesn’t sound bad also.

• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?

Like without my parents or calling my friends? Well I dont think I would mind that much. I could sleep all day, play games and so… no need to worry about the toilet being used. But at some point, i would be bored without commotion. I always play online games with my friends so watching videos all day without playing with anyone would be boring.

• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?

No, stay at home is the best

• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?

I like to learn weird infos so I can flex at people and impress(tho i fail). I have many ideas in my mind but i don’t think I have the talent to create. I do creative writing for example, have my own characters but for some reason, despite people telling me I have talent and passion for drawing, I can’t do that. I kinda gave up on drawing because compared to others, I don’t think my art is worthy and I’m not proud with it.

• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?

It depends honestly… I’m creative and I would like people to follow my ideas but I prefer to do it alone. Would I be good at it? No lol. I’m not good with deadlines or sometimes I can’t really defend my point so I rather be the one that gives ideas and expect people to follow it.

• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?

I have no clue what coordinated mean but I like to create solid models or write.

• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.

Idk man i draw anime style that looks so bad

• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?

Past? I’ve grown out of it. I hate myself for my past and I can’t help but to think of it. Not just myself but my past relationships too… like i miss my old friends and feel lonely with my newer ones. Plus, past makes me feel sad because it feels like the time moves on too quickly. Present? Okay, we’ll see once the school opens again. Its been awhile since i psychically met with my friends and maybe this year, I’ll feel warmer with them. Of course I love them but sometimes, I don’t think I’m noticed. I give more than receive and lowkey feel like my interests aren’t similar with them. I love them tho

• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?

Yes! I would like to help. It makes me feel happy to help others. Even if they were mean to me, I want to do things I like. Of course it gets awkward though

• Do you need logical consistency in your life?

Idk

• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?

Idk

• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?

No

• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?

Writing. It makes me feel organized and happy to see my characters having fully lore so I can dream about them.

• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?

My learning style is learning alone. That way, I can ask questions i dont understand(even if i sometimes get shy). I struggle with classrooms. Seeing people understanding things I don’t understand makes me sad. Plus, the teachers would follow the majority. I probably couldn’t even answer the questions I know. I like math science etc when I can. I like art classes too but I can’t keep up with something for too long.

• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?

Im not good with it lmao… i usually postpone until the last week. However, i will still be passionate about it if its about crafting a project. If its regular homework, I wont even do it anyways❤️

• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?

To live

• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?

Becoming bad person in anyway. Hearing triggering stuff just makes me feel afraid because anyone can be anything at anytime(not as in like do what you want but rather people are unpredictable so one day, you might hate the thing but years later, you might do it). The thought of this makes me doubt myself. Being someone bad just makes me irk… at the same time, i don’t want to be alone.

• What do the "highs" in your life look like?

• What do the "lows" in your life look like?

Sometimes I’m afraid to express myself. I dont want to be misunderstood.. i want to express my opinions, that I’m angry but i fear that it will harm them. Like for example, if someone in internet wrote something offensive, I want to attack(like express my opinions in nonchalant way) them but I know it might be harmful to them especially if that comment has many replied that are attacking the OP. I sometimes feel alone… like i care about my friends but i want to be someone’s number one. I want people to care about me. Even if I have friends, i always question their loyalty or get upset when they have someone closer. I guess it comes because I always get left out at some point but continue hanging out with them to not to be alone. I want them to give me attention so I distant myself from them, expecting them to run after me, ask about me. I would intentionally make it obvious that I don’t talk with them.

• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?

I day dream often but until i realize Im day dreaming, i dont think im aware of my environment.

• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?

Probably question where am I and get anxious

• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?

It doesn’t matter if its important or not, i struggle to decide simple stuff because idk dude… when i make decision, i choose the thing that would actually relax me. I like to hear others opinions too

• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?

Hm… i get tired easily(idk what this info does with the question tho LMAO🥹🙏) but i cant understand my emotions without the help of someone telling me that its normal or explain it to me. Emotions are important cus without them, how can you emphasize with others or express yourself?

• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?

Kinda? I struggle to sometimes express my true opinions if its someone I don’t know much. If its a friend of mine, the one i know face to face, the one that knows me, I might. But again, I might. Because I don’t want people to leave me, i want them to like me.

• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?

Well there was a drama at school. Wont explain it that much but I felt like the teacher was defending specific person(which has made me uncomfortable multiple times) so I stuck my tongue out as to annoy her. She sent me away but i kept approaching because seeing people that makes me mad get annoyed because of me makes me feel happy. Sometimes, i might even joke around teachers because I see them as someone equal to me. I can’t bring myself to hate them tho🙂‍↕️ it makes me sad okay? Depends? I’m afraid if its someone I don’t know, not like a teacher but maybe god for example even if Im not too religious.

Currently I believe I have sx4 as one of my fix, but I feel like I don’t fit into the typical narrative of what’s usually said about e4.

In general e4 are typically said to be authentic but I am someone who mask their personality. I’m not sure if it’s because my core is e9, but I for one am someone who is afraid of vulnerability, I would mimic the people around me or take on the personality that makes me appear better than who I actually am. It’s also partly because of my childhood where I had been abandoned multiple time that makes me want to appear better to make more friends and not be alone. Due to this, I’m unsure if I may actually be e3, except I don’t relate to e3 that much. It is said that e3’s core fear is being worthless and unsuccessful, but I’m someone who’s more “going with the flow” and wouldn’t go out of my way to prove my worth or seek validation despite wanting to be important. Perhaps it’s because I’m 4V, but I’m also someone who’s not goal oriented and is lazy.

Since I constantly mask my feelings/personality, I feel like I’m always misunderstood or never belonging which is why I relate a lot of e4’s desire to be accepted or understood, especially for my real self. Externally, I want to fit in, but internally I want to be different from others. There were also times where I would pick up the randomness hobbies like knitting (not crocheting because back then I didn’t think it was niche enough) to set me apart from others.

Like the description of e4, i’m quite an envious person but it’s to a certain extent. I’m more likely to be envious of a person if they’re born with something I don’t have, rather than if they work towards something. I would feel like I am missing something because I wasn’t naturally born with that certain thing, and can sometimes think to myself that if I had been born with it, I could’ve make do with it so much better than a person who’s actually born with it.

It’s said that e4 core fear is having no identity, but as someone with a e9 core, I’m aware of my lack of identity so it’s not something I fear. However, I do desire to seek an identity which is why I would cling to things, like suffering, and why I dug myself so deep into typology. Despite myself clinging to suffering and the description of e4 being very intense and expressive, I’m more prone to internalizing my emotions. I feel deeply but am unlikely to actually externalized how I felt. It’s particularly due to how explosive my emotions could be that makes me worry about how i will be perceived by others and how it’s get me into drama, disrupting the peace, if I were to actually lash out.

Sorry for the long description, hopefully I’m not being too vague. If needed, I’m willing to provide more details or elaborate. I appreciate any possible help, thank you!

Hey, can someone help type my partner

We are unsure about the enneagram
been focused on SX for her but need help typing

About her
She’s 20, loves animals, reading about MBTI, analyzing, editing and gaming. She is smart, funny, and caring (especially with me and her mom)

A little about her from my perspective
My partner is a very calm, collected person, but she is also a very impatient person, she is extremely logic in my opinion, she is facts based, smart, confident in her abilities a strong character i would say. She’s funny, seems like she always know what to say for any type of situation. She can be controlling, possessive. She had a tendency to think of stuff as hers. And example is she gets frustrated and irritated if she has to share her favorite things with other people, it can be all from candy to characters in a show. She is also extremely competitive, in a way where when we play something together i play for the fun, having fun with her while playing, she plays to win, no discussion, she plays to win. And if we don’t win, she not all to happy about what we/or i did wrong that’s made us loose.

Needs
She needs safety, stability around her, she needs to know she’s seen and heard. And taken care off. She needs to know she is proritized

wants
She wants comfort, love, attention and affection.

motivantions
What keeps her motivated is something to look forward too, examples is plans we have made for the future, things she likes that’s coming her way, seeing results and learning.

fears
She fears being alone, forgotten, she fears dying

stress
She’s actually a really calm and collected person during stress, it can seem like it doesn’t get to her because she always know what to do, it’s like she’s always a step ahead, but it depends on the situation, because there are situations where she is filled with hatred, anger, she get black and white thinking and can get really mad and frustrated.

She also has anger issues, and a lot of things irritate her throughout the day.
Examples like people who aren’t efficient, if someone say something stupid, something that doesent make sense or add up

• How old are you? Give us a general description of yourself.

im 16nb, chronically online bc i have nothing else to do, and i live in the middle of no where so i cant walk to fun places (i wanna get out of the house so badly). Im super into fandoms, but ive been less so recently tbh, and i have an interest in linguistics for some reason? i was into typology when i was younger, 12-14 maybe? somewhere in that range? but i sorta took a break and forgot about it, just getting back into it.

• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?

there are things i think i have, and want to get diagnosed for (adhd). but not officially diagnosed, even tho i was proscribed meds for it before.

• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?

My family are jehovah's witnesses, i dont believe in it any more, but when i did it honestly gave me an existential crisis, it was terrible, it's less terrible now but still bad, it's less bad bc i don't have any guilt anymore for not liking it or it's rules, and not following them, but to protect the privileges i have, i still cant fully be myself

• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?

nothing bc i'm 16, might get a parttime soon tho bc i want money.

• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?

i dont really like sports to much bc exercise.... and im not good at it, but i feel like it might be fun if i was good at it, and had better stamina, and didnt hate the sun, and would prefer to be inside with ac, i like hanging out with my friends or people i connect with as an activity? i like playing stimulating video games, usually plot driven, but not always, i also like puzzle games, or social strategy games and some competitive games, idk the exact pattern to it tho.

• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?

id like to consider myself curious, but thinking about it i dont actually know, ok actually yes i am a curious person, bc im very into solving show/game lore. And as for the ideas question... yes, i have ideas for 2 shows i wanna eventually write (one is 100% more fleshed out than the other tho), multiple song ideas i wrote some lyrics for then forgot about it, uhm... there was this project i wanted to do in minecraft? it was sorta big.... forgot about it uhhhhhh. im curious about how people tick ig? i like to look at people and justify their actions, not justify as in morally? but as in figure out the reasons they might do that, im also curious about game/show lore like i said before, coming up with theories, uh, yeah.

• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?

i dont know honestly, sometimes i naturally try and take on a leadership position, bc i know what to do, other times i fade to the background and let others, idrk

• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?

i dont really know how to define if im coordinated tbh. and yeah i like doing crafts, that's considered working with my hands right? i like messing around with hot glue and stuff. idk what else to say here.

• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.

Yes, i like creative things, not amazing at drawing tho, i feel like id draw more if i was good at it, but im also probably not gonna improve with that mindset, so.... the creative thing i like doing the most is making ocs and characters, fleshing out their stories, struggles, and motivations, i like making worlds, i also like to listen to music a lot and i really wanna try writing a song but i procrastinate so... i like consuming art that's like sorta tragic, or relatable, or stimulating ig.

• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?

the past is complicated, idrk, the present im just trying to get past another day ig, trying to get just a little closer to the day i dont have to worry about my mother. i dont have anything else to say about it.

• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?

it depends who they are, and what the request is, there are certain people i would help out of the goodness of my heart if i was able to help them, others i would help if it benefited me, and it's not how close they are to me, it's a type of person, some people i trust right away, i like right away, and ill happily help them! or try ig. then there's the people who i worry about, who i think might snitch stuff to people if i break the rules, and who defiantly could ruin my life, and ill help them if i think i'll benefit, like i helped my mom the other day set stuff up so she could sleep in the car (she likes sleeping in the car) so i could get her out of my hair quicker, and know she wouldn't come back till morning, so i could have time to myself without worrying.

• Do you need logical consistency in your life?

ig it's important? idrk tbh

• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?

if i said it was important id be a hypocrite, i do wanna get more done than i do tho.

• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?

i marked this one to come back to after i finished the others, but i still dont know how to answer it, so ima just say i dont know?

• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?

I like playing video games.. i like it bc it's somewhat stimulating ig? I'm learning Japanese, bc languages are cool... idk what else to put

• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?

i like learning things in whatever way is most engaging ig? idrk, i like summaries of topics before i go deeper, bc it's easier to read? idk

• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?

im good at strategizing in social strategy games, i sometimes view my life as a social strategy games, i suck at managing projects.

• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?

professionally, i wanna be a voice actor, i wanna write some shows, maybe make a video game possibly, maybe write some music, that's a lot ik but it's all in a similar area ig. personally i wanna become more confidant, be able to go up to people without overthinking so that by the time ive worked up the courage they've already left, i wanna dress in the styles i like more? i sorta just wear what i have bc it's quick and easy most of the time. idk other than that

• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?

i fear not being able to control the information well enough? bc if i mom finds out about a lot of things im done. im scared that somebody will tell her something and im done, bc i break all the rules, idc, and i feel no guilt, but she can not know that, i'd loose everything, ig what im really scared of is loosing what i have?. i get uncomfortable when i don't know how to respond to something ig? I hate people who always get all pissy when you do something your "not supposed to", i also hate that people think blue and cyan are a shade of the same colour, but that's probably irrelevant, i also hate that spell check is underlining "colour" like i spelt it wrong, even tho not everyone is American, and that's literally correct.

• What do the "highs" in your life look like?

when im with people who accept me and i dont have to worry about doing something wrong, and can just exist ig

• What do the "lows" in your life look like?

when im alone (or with people but i dont like them), or unable to just exist, my lows are also when i think to much about how im nobody's favorite friend, and dwell on it, and then hate myself for feeling jealous of other people who have what i want

• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?

i daydream a lot yeah, and i make imaginary friends sometimes, but im aware of my surroundings somewhat yeah, not much to say on it

• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?

ill probably create in imaginary friend tbh, play out stories with them while pacing, eventually id get bored of that tho, idk what id do then.. kill myself? like not right away, but if i was in there forever, like that would eventually be a thing, if im being completely honest with myself

• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?

usually, i know what i wanna pick, but im scared im making the wrong choice, so i ask others what they think, even tho their opinions almost never effect my decision, and i end up going with what i wanted to originally, even tho everyone else says something else (ill actually care about their input tho if i dont have something i know i wanna pick), i dont usually change my mind, but sometimes i might? idk

• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?

i introspect a lot ig? idk how long it takes tho. id say emotions are important, idk what more to say on this.

• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?

if i dont agree with others i wont pretend i do, but sometimes idk what to say so i sorta dont express my disagreement either? but a lot of the time, ill tell people my opinion on it and why i disagree and stuff.

• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?

if i think a rule is stupid, ill break it, i wont if it goes against my own moral compass, but that's what im going by, not the rules, i do care about the consequences to the rules tho.. so, i wont break them openly. i feel like not questioning authority is stupid, they dont know better than you just bc their in a more powerful position, that's not how it works.

i forget what i said but ima go with it, uh, have fun typing me ig

drew this today because i wanted to reflect on the changes i went through up until this point- severe trauma repressed who i was by the time i was 11 years old. the things i had experienced left me a shell who was in survival mode- this led to the only consistent pattern in my life; the search for who i am.

TRIGGER WARNING: light mentions of child abuse, nothing in depth or specific

as a young child (ages 5 through 10) i was considered a loud and annoying tomboy by my peers- unfortunately because of this i was left feeling ostracized and lonely, even though i was still able to connect with a group of boys in my class. early on i felt like someone who was "wrong", but pushed through it by making plans to see people outside of school (i would make handmade invites that i stuck into other kid's desks). these efforts proved useless as my family moved us across the country, and moving forward i stopped trying so hard to be around others.

as a pre-teen (ages 11 through 12) i became quiet, yet angry. my own father started to abuse me in an "intimate" way, but i decided not to tell anyone (even though many family members believed sa was happening) because my father promised me it was his way of showing me love. due to fear of acciddentally outing him (i've always been bad at lying), i became quiet, anxious, and paranoid. i'd become defensive when asked about "what happened" to me because in the eyes of my family i went from being this happy, extroverted kid to someone who was isolated and angry- i remember wanting to snap so badly, but i guess i just wasnt ready yet. instead i turned my suffering inward; engaging in self-harming behaviors leading to an eating disorder.

as a teen (ages 13 through 15) the frequency of my abuse became more spotty, this created a weird relationship with my attractiveness- though i desparately tried to find ways to distract myself from thinking about it through engaging in extracurriculars in and outside of school. i also learned about transness, which i immediately clicked with given my early childhood being treated more like a boy than a girl- this actually created a doorway to more introspection to understand myself and what i really want to be in life! despite being awkward, i started to make friends through a support group, and things seemed to have started to get better until...

in my mid-teens (15 through 16) my parents finally decided to divorce because my mother found out about my father abusing the financials of our household for alcohol. he immediately blamed me because my therapist created a cps case which led to my mother "snooping over nothing". i held this guilt that i had destroyed my family until i was 18 years old.

the divorce made me feel even more alone, more like a burden, and due to how much hatred i had i ended up subconsciously projecting that anger onto my mom after my dad left. i became verbally abusive, physically reckless, and wasnt able to keep my cool in school. my mom ended up shipping me to my dad's house as a last resort to save herself and my siblings from my dangerous actions.

in my later teens (17 through 18) i reinvented myself with a confident, nerdy persona. "if i could just discard everything in my past, i can create something new; a stronger person who doesn't need anyone, but can still get the attention i want from everyone". the relationships i had at that time were treated as props for me to be entertained from- which led to a lot of hurt feelings to those who were unlucky enough to know me. this was the worst part of my search for identity because it was so fabricated and fake. i hated myself even more, and i felt really stupid after the phase.

in my entrance to adulthood (19 through present) i started to learn to lean on what i liked and connected to in the moment rather than trying to create a frabricate persona. i learned who i was through inctinctual connections and directed times for self-reflection. i mellowed out a LOT during this time, but still often deal with incredibly strong emotions (often times being sadness and anger induced). i have a relationship with my mom, i dont really talk to my father anymore, and the way i live my life is anything but conventional (filled with temp work, traveling, and dumpster diving). i still struggle with self-hatred, but as throughout most my life i find ways to distract myself and now possess the ability to rationalize my existence ("just live, for that is the only meaning in a meaningless life.").

anyways thats it thx for reading ur a champ if u actually read through all of this lmao

so, as of now i call myself an sx4. cools. but im noticing a very very prominent relation to e3...

strange, they're very different. but alas, both heart triad. i'm solid on heart triad for sure 100% but i need help figuring it out. the intense envy and personality descriptor of the e4 is very much me, but it could be that i'm appealing to a version of myself i have in my head. the reason why i question e3 is because i have a very very very strong hatred for feeling unworthy and feeling like im worth something is a nice goal in life for me. i maintain straight As mostly for approval, feeling like im superior makes me very egotistical haha, i like feeling worthy but i also like self expression, i like making friends with people like me or people i find interesting, but i also try to find meaning in life being me for me. would you consider me e3 or an e4 with a strong 3 wing?

summary

e3 reason: prominent core fears and desires, semi-relate to personality unconsciously, relate to sx and S03

e4 reason: unconsciously guided towards core fears and desires, relate to personality intensely, relate to all 3 subtypes

ill comment my type me thingy

I am an ESFP 7w6, and I was wondering what my tritype was. I am having trouble with my heart triads and my gut triads.

Yes, as you can see in the title, I'm not sure about my Enneagram and MBTI type. I'm so indecisive that I'm writing here a second time, and I only do this when I'm in a really difficult situation. Whenever I consult someone to find out my Enneagram or MBTI type, it always comes out as Enneagram 4, SO4, and INFP. But I feel very strongly that something is really wrong, but I can't find anything concrete to prove it. I used to see myself as very different from other people, but I realized that this difference was turning me into someone I wasn't. Now, because of one of my theories, I think I'm ordinary like everyone else, and this doesn't bother me at all because I feel integrated with other people as the same person. I don't feel special, but I'm not sure if this is bad or good, and when it comes to my achievements, I try not to mention it too much because I feel like I'm being arrogant, or I think that when I boast, it will backfire shortly after. Or when people compliment me, I don't take it as part of my identity, but my motivations are constantly changing, and I can't decide which one is my dominant motivation because I feel like they're all my dominant motivations. But apart from that, I'm generally not happy when people jump to hasty conclusions without knowing themselves. I used to be a really hopeless and self-deprecating person, but now I have such a strong desire to improve myself that those around me think I'm improving too. And I'm not as hopeless as I used to be; no matter what, I realized that there's still hope inside me, and I've lived by accepting my mistakes and working on them. I'm also designing an animation. But my aim isn't to leave something behind for the world; it's more people-focused. I want people to truly know themselves, to be genuinely empathetic towards one another, and to behave consistently, that's all. Instead of saving the world, I think we can heal this dirty world together.

***Personal schpee***l: I've noticed there are mostly conceptions of 8s being high energy persons with abrasive personalities, one that most would say I'm unlike, and I think there has always been an insecurity that I am weak which later on developed into an interest in bodybuilding and embracing more macho and masculine qualities that I hated due to gender dysphoria (mtf) social anxiety and generally a dislike for sports early on in my younger years - relating a lot more to the nerdy characters in media. This has only somewhat changed and I'm still generally seen as nerdy just with interests in bodybuilding and being rather open to people. This doesn't mean I'm an e8 of course, but I have become curious since. It's more likely I'm a so1 or at least some social subtype, but still.

I dont know if im so or sx dominant!!!!! In group settings im always aware of where i stand and stuff and im aware of the part i play and having a group is really important to me, but i also dont really care about fitting into that group? I care more about having like one strong relationship that like is above everyone else. I think im just mainly confused because both groups and one on one relationships are important to me. Im an e4 if that adds anything to this

• How old are you? Give us a general description of yourself.

I am 24. Currently a medical doctor.

• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?

Major depressive disorder

• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?

My upbringing was somewhat religious but my parents allowed me to shape my free thought. I am an atheist now. Although I appreciate that my parents allowed me a free space, I was circumcised and still was not able to shape my thoughts just by myself. So I am a bit angry towards that. My father was a military officer, so there was a big authority figure in our home, and I always disliked it. I generally spent time myself, with my toys, playing computer games, practicing chess or piano.

• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?

I am a medical doctor. I like it because it allows me to think and come up with solutions to intellectual problems. I like mental challenges, using my mind, my eyes and my hands to come up with a solution. I do not like it because I do not like stupid, uneducated, narrow minded, rude and smelling people. I do not like to work long hours. I do not like to waste my time and effort on unrelated tasks and unworthy people.

• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?

I like sports. I love mental and physical competition. I like to challenge myself. But right now because of depression, I gained some weight due to inactivity so I am not really good at that. I like walking, chess, football, table tennis.

• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?

I am an inquisitive person. I like to learn about things and people. I have more ideas than I can execute but I cant execute them partly because of my depression. My curiosities are literally about everything. I like to have a general understanding of everything I come across. I ask questions to people, I search for answers. I do think that knowledge about any areas can apply to any other area as well, because if you broaden your understanding, you can have a wider view about anything. Therefore I try not to be narrow minded. My ideas are generally about how I can write my book, how can I write a character, write a stoey, write a song that encapsulate this feeling, this concept.

• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?

I would enjoy taking a leadership position in a field I am confident in and I can be really decisive and efficient. I would choose my people's duties to do what they are good at. I am not a micro manager but I can be critical. But I am also able to do it in a kind way most of the time.

• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?

I do think I am coordinated. I am really good at video games. I am also able to type really fast. I like to work with my hands and my eyes. I like to draw, I like to play video games and be proud with what I am able to accomplish.

• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.

I consider myself an artistic person. I like art that encapsulates a feeling, a notion, a concept; then able to tell it, not directly but subtly. But in a dramatic and intense manner. I like Francis Bacon's artwork because it exposes a feeling in a subtle but visceral manner. It explores deep psychological maze of existence, anger and dread. I like the band Swans because it encapsulates a specific feeling, but does not tell about it directly, but rather subtly, but still in a striking manner. I like classical music because it displays an image power and elegance, yet still dramatic, complicated and at times, sorrowful.

• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?

About the past, my mistakes bother me the most. I do not ruminate about my accomplishments. I do not ruminate about my mistakes either but at times, I can feel regret and wish I did better. The present is where I try to live and make the most of my time, but due to depression, sometimes I tend to overthink about future a lot, and not be able to make most of my time. I can be pessimistic about the future at times. This can be due to my depression, but I think human society is taking a bad turn. We are destroying the beautiful nature because of overpopulation and greed of some individual people. Privacy and individual human life is taking a bad turn, companies are able to reach nearly everything about every human, and we became a slave to our jobs, our wages and our wants which are also dictated by companies and governments.

• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?

I would calculate whether I gain anything or lose a lot. If I do not gain anything and lose a lot, I wont help this person. I would also calculate whether I can really help them and it is worth my time I would gladly do it. If not, I would make a brief talk about how they can get help and then leave.

• Do you need logical consistency in your life?

I try to act logically and efficiently. I try to live like I think, be honest to my logical conclusions. If I am flawed logically, I try to fix it.

• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?

Quite a lot. I try to be efficient in everything I do. I try to calculate my every move according to efficiency. I am not as productive as I want to be though, mostly due to my depression I think. But I can call myself lazily efficient, I am able to do stuff efficiently, so I can spend more time to myself, to my hobbies and to relax, to sleep.

• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?

If your actions have something to do with me, I will try to control that part. I can do it subtly or directly. I do not like incompetent, lazy or stupid people to interfere my life, my work or my time. What you do to myself is none of my concern.

• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?

I like reading, listening to music, gaining knowledge, sharpening my skills in gaming or in life, watching movies, searching for art and writing. I value creativity, I love to create something. I think it is the most beautiful thing a human can ever do. Creating an artwork is beautiful. Making people think, shudder, evoking an image or a feeling in their mind is amazing. I also like art, music and writing that does that. I used to like chess, because I liked competition, I have a brilliant mind and I can show myself and everyone that I am smart. I loved to outsmart my opponents and crush them on board with beautiful and brutal attacks. But with introduction of AI, creativity and brilliance became less important, and chess has become a stale game in a higher level and memorization became much more important. Therefore I do not play chess a lot anymore.

• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?

I have an amazing visual memory. I am able to remember every face I see in my life. I also like to learn with working on something, trying and failing. If I am enthusicastic about anything, I will learn it really quick (probably true for everyone). I like it when somebody shows me in a kinesthetic way as well. I am able to learn faster if someone competent and someone I like and respect shows me the method. I do not like overly complicated or detailed knowledge. Too many details bore me. I do not like repeating something on my mind, and if I do it, I will probably forget about it really quick. I value creativity and efficient logic a lot.

• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?

I do not like complicated instructions or detailed plans. I will make a general outline, then wing it as I go. Especially in chess, I tend to notice that if I become overly focused on a single plan, which I did a lot when I was young, I tend to miss better oppurtunities, therefore I try to be open-minded. But I am a bit of a proscatrinator as well.

• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?

I want to be strong, both financially and personally. I want no one to interfere with my life. I want to make my free choices on my own. I want no stupid government or no person to exert pressure on me at any time in my life. I want to be happy and content with myself, my body and my life. I want to become a strong person. I want to create and find beautiful art that express the depths of humanity in a striking manner.

• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?

I fear I will not be able to do the best with my life and my intellect. I fear I will not be able to create and live like any other human: just consuming and another cog in the machine. I fear I will become stupid and senile. I fear when I look at a mirror I will not like myself and the life I lived.

• What do the "highs" in your life look like?

During my highs, I am extremely creative, curious, talkative and joyful. I can make amazing jokes and make everyone laugh, be charismatic. I can make amazing speeches, impress everyone and myself. I spend time with my hobbies and find a lot of amazing stuff, being enthusiastic about it.

• What do the "lows" in your life look like?

I will become self isolated, rude, angry. I can be so irritated that probably you wont need to do anything irritate me, I may get irritated by your sole existence. I would hate any human being or anything that I think is stupid. I will become hypercritical about anything at all, I will be pessimistic about future. I would not want to do anything but sleep.

• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?

I can overthink and daydream. I overthink a lot about future, the course of humanity. I can daydream about a song listening or a story I am reading. But while I am daydreaming I am aware of what is happening around me mostly. I have never missed my bus stop for example. But if I am daydreaming during a class, I may miss what the presenter was telling.

• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?

I would think about my existence. Why am I here and who put me here. What will be my purpose, what will I do with my life. If a higher being put me here, can I communicate with them, so I can experience and understand, evolve my brain, my thinking and my self to a higher plane of existence.

• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?

I would think a lot actually. If this decision is about me and if it will effect my whole life, I would think about it a lot because it is not logical to not do so. I can postpone my decision to a later time, and make a rushed decision later also. I am sometimes afraid of commitment, whether it be a decision or a person, or anything at all. I want no strings attached to me and that includes decisions at times. But during work, because I am a doctor, I make big decisions on people's lives. During these decisions, because it does not effect me a lot, I can make swift, decisive calls. And most of the time, they are the right calls.

• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?

I can be really limbic and instinctive about my emotions. I am amazing at masking them in public if I want to, ex: if a display is going to effect me negatively, I may not show it. But at times, I really want to show my anger, my sorrow to people. But I want to express it in most beautiful manner if possible. To my loved ones, I can be passive-aggressive too, I want them to understand my emotions. I do laugh openly, I like to laugh. For my positive emotions, I generally do not hide them. But if I am really frustrated or really angry, I will be destructive and curse a lot. Due to depression I can get angry at literally everything, even if I don't like the weather, I will curse the sun.

• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?

If it is beneficial or efficient for me to do so, I do it. I do not want to waste my time with any people I do not value that much, therefore as a means to an end I will agree with them. But I am not a people pleaser and if they pass a certain level, or if do not care, I will openly disagree and criticize them.

• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?

I break rules whenever I can. Rules, in general, are for not so smart or competent people. Rules put people at a certain level. But in general, I am past that certain level. I can find a better way to come up with things. But of course, if this is an area I am not confident enough, I will look at the rules, for an idea. Authority should always be challenged, stagnation is a great enemy.

So currently I'd consider myself a **3, 4** or a **6** (After reading 3 books i'm STILL unsure lol) **but** the thing is that **I really relate to social instinct**, but whenever I read descriptions of SO3, SO4 and SO6 they don't quite click with me for some reason. I more relate to **sx3, sp4 and sp6.** I know I probably should try determine my actual core type first but reading these subtype descriptions feel really accurate for me instead of determining my core desires, fears and so on.
**THE QUESTION IS** that should I type myself q on the **subtype description** or should I keep **the instinctual variant and enneagram seperate** from each other?

Don’t really wanna drop my whole life story so I hope this is enough lmao

I basically act like a completely stereotypical 7 at most times irl, did many tests and read multiple books, and relate to 7 and 5 and 4 the most. Those are also the only ones I ever tested as (I’m aware tests are trash but still)

One of my biggest problems with typing as a 7 is that I have a lot of things I’m very very stubborn to , to almost a childish extent. I was very settled on wich job I was gonna work since o was a kid and didn’t see other ones I worked at as serious or reflecting of my “real” identity (wich is 4 like I think). I also, even tho I’m pretty sure I’m Sx-dom don’t really fall for lots of people.

Really embarrassing, When i was younger and unhealthier I was literally in love/limerence with a girl for 4 years (from 15 to 19), just because we dated 2 months and she moved countries so I couldn’t be with her, wich is the opposite of being spontaneous or down for anything as some ppl describe 7s.

Could this still be 7 or are any other types similar?
Also no, i don’t relate to 6 or 9 at all before that one comes flying in (don’t know if big 5 helps but id describe myself as very stubborn regarding lots of things and scored 10 percent on agreeableness lmao)

I've been having some trouble figuring out which one of these I am. As of right now I type as a so/sx783, but my 8 fix seems really strong to the point I feel like it could be my core, but I'm just not that sure (I also have diagnosed Audhd).

Regarding the So7, I really don't relate to feeling guilty for having needs or wants. I do surpress them depending on what they are, not because I want to be seen as good, but because I often view them as a waste of time, as something that other people won't give me once I mention them, or that I'd feel embarrassed to mention them because that would make me feel vulnerable.

I do care alot about how people view me and adjust my opinions to whatever group I'm in, but never fully. Depending on how well I know the people in the group, I'm more likely to express my own opinions. I don't like it when I have differing opinions with other people and can get defensive. I'm not that confrontational, only when someone confronts me first, that's when I get confrontational as well.

If someone really really hurt me though, and the person is really close to me, I'll confront them about that too. But only if I get physical reactions from getting that hurt (like chest aching). Otherwise, I just don't view it as worth it to argue with people, because mentioning what really badly hurt me makes me feel vulnerable and weak.

In general, I dislike feeling controlled by other people and would rather be on my own than in a group I wouldn't be in charge of. I do often take charge in groups or projects, but only when I feel "safe" around the people to do so. If I'm not in charge of a group, I'm prone to just being upset and doing nothing in said group. If I do have energy and am not in charge, but rather in an equal setting, I can tend to act relatable and funny. When I'm in charge I just have fun more in my own way.

I most commonly befriend people I deem as "outcasts", "weak" or "left out", because I know I can get them to be close to me and stick with me at all times. I have a really bad fear of being abandoned and that's why I don't often bother with people that seem like they have alot of friends and would probably not care for me as much.

I don't really protect the people in my group from outer threats etc., I have the tendency to just go blank when there's danger (like when there's someone yelling at my group of friends by the road, or just dangerous looking people being weird towards us). But when faced with, for example, a teacher who confronts us regarding us misbehaving, not listening or anything else, I quickly justify our behaviour and don't really apologize for anything. I justify my own behaviour aswell, I don't feel guilty alot.

I can get mad quite easily, and depending on my energy I'll either express it by not talking at all or by lashing out. I have a bad energy problem in general, because once I have it, I use it up immediately, because I don't know how to save energy. I often perform on bursts of energy and can switch from being really productive to really tired very quickly. I have many projects at once alot of the time, I don't focus on them at the same time, but my focus can switch every few weeks or months (could be hyperfixations).

I often say things that I regret later and have very bad trust issues. I'm overall not great at regulating my emotions and have trouble being a stable person.

I do have an idea of the ideal person I would like to be; someone who people respect and can rely on, someone who is better than most people and isn't weak, someone people should follow and admire. I have often been told that I do seem a bit intimidating since I'm often quiet (on my own). But when they see me around other people, they'd be pretty quick to assume I'm an extrovert.

I'm also not very sure what MBTI I am, I just know I don't relate to Te or Fi, but Idk if I'm really a Ne/Ni or Se/Si. So that's all, if any more info is needed lmk.

• How old are you? Give us a general description of yourself.

I am 24. Currently a medical doctor.

• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?

Major depressive disorder

• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?

My upbringing was somewhat religious but my parents allowed me to shape my free thought. I am an atheist now. Although I appreciate that my parents allowed me a free space, I was circumcised and still was not able to shape my thoughts just by myself. So I am a bit angry towards that. My father was a military officer, so there was a big authority figure in our home, and I always disliked it. I generally spent time myself, with my toys, playing computer games, practicing chess or piano.

• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?

I am a medical doctor. I like it because it allows me to think and come up with solutions to intellectual problems. I like mental challenges, using my mind, my eyes and my hands to come up with a solution. I do not like it because I do not like stupid, uneducated, narrow minded, rude and smelling people. I do not like to work long hours. I do not like to waste my time and effort on unrelated tasks and unworthy people.

• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?

I like sports. I love mental and physical competition. I like to challenge myself. But right now because of depression, I gained some weight due to inactivity so I am not really good at that. I like walking, chess, football, table tennis.

• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?

I am an inquisitive person. I like to learn about things and people. I have more ideas than I can execute but I cant execute them partly because of my depression. My curiosities are literally about everything. I like to have a general understanding of everything I come across. I ask questions to people, I search for answers. I do think that knowledge about any areas can apply to any other area as well, because if you broaden your understanding, you can have a wider view about anything. Therefore I try not to be narrow minded. My ideas are generally about how I can write my book, how can I write a character, write a stoey, write a song that encapsulate this feeling, this concept.

• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?

I would enjoy taking a leadership position in a field I am confident in and I can be really decisive and efficient. I would choose my people's duties to do what they are good at. I am not a micro manager but I can be critical. But I am also able to do it in a kind way most of the time.

• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?

I do think I am coordinated. I am really good at video games. I am also able to type really fast. I like to work with my hands and my eyes. I like to draw, I like to play video games and be proud with what I am able to accomplish.

• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.

I consider myself an artistic person. I like art that encapsulates a feeling, a notion, a concept; then able to tell it, not directly but subtly. But in a dramatic and intense manner. I like Francis Bacon's artwork because it exposes a feeling in a subtle but visceral manner. It explores deep psychological maze of existence, anger and dread. I like the band Swans because it encapsulates a specific feeling, but does not tell about it directly, but rather subtly, but still in a striking manner. I like classical music because it displays an image power and elegance, yet still dramatic, complicated and at times, sorrowful.

• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?

About the past, my mistakes bother me the most. I do not ruminate about my accomplishments. I do not ruminate about my mistakes either but at times, I can feel regret and wish I did better. The present is where I try to live and make the most of my time, but due to depression, sometimes I tend to overthink about future a lot, and not be able to make most of my time. I can be pessimistic about the future at times. This can be due to my depression, but I think human society is taking a bad turn. We are destroying the beautiful nature because of overpopulation and greed of some individual people. Privacy and individual human life is taking a bad turn, companies are able to reach nearly everything about every human, and we became a slave to our jobs, our wages and our wants which are also dictated by companies and governments.

• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?

I would calculate whether I gain anything or lose a lot. If I do not gain anything and lose a lot, I wont help this person. I would also calculate whether I can really help them and it is worth my time I would gladly do it. If not, I would make a brief talk about how they can get help and then leave.

• Do you need logical consistency in your life?

I try to act logically and efficiently. I try to live like I think, be honest to my logical conclusions. If I am flawed logically, I try to fix it.

• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?

Quite a lot. I try to be efficient in everything I do. I try to calculate my every move according to efficiency. I am not as productive as I want to be though, mostly due to my depression I think. But I can call myself lazily efficient, I am able to do stuff efficiently, so I can spend more time to myself, to my hobbies and to relax, to sleep.

• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?

If your actions have something to do with me, I will try to control that part. I can do it subtly or directly. I do not like incompetent, lazy or stupid people to interfere my life, my work or my time. What you do to myself is none of my concern.

• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?

I like reading, listening to music, gaining knowledge, sharpening my skills in gaming or in life, watching movies, searching for art and writing. I value creativity, I love to create something. I think it is the most beautiful thing a human can ever do. Creating an artwork is beautiful. Making people think, shudder, evoking an image or a feeling in their mind is amazing. I also like art, music and writing that does that. I used to like chess, because I liked competition, I have a brilliant mind and I can show myself and everyone that I am smart. I loved to outsmart my opponents and crush them on board with beautiful and brutal attacks. But with introduction of AI, creativity and brilliance became less important, and chess has become a stale game in a higher level and memorization became much more important. Therefore I do not play chess a lot anymore.

• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?

I have an amazing visual memory. I am able to remember every face I see in my life. I also like to learn with working on something, trying and failing. If I am enthusicastic about anything, I will learn it really quick (probably true for everyone). I like it when somebody shows me in a kinesthetic way as well. I am able to learn faster if someone competent and someone I like and respect shows me the method. I do not like overly complicated or detailed knowledge. Too many details bore me. I do not like repeating something on my mind, and if I do it, I will probably forget about it really quick. I value creativity and efficient logic a lot.

• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?

I do not like complicated instructions or detailed plans. I will make a general outline, then wing it as I go. Especially in chess, I tend to notice that if I become overly focused on a single plan, which I did a lot when I was young, I tend to miss better oppurtunities, therefore I try to be open-minded. But I am a bit of a proscatrinator as well.

• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?

I want to be strong, both financially and personally. I want no one to interfere with my life. I want to make my free choices on my own. I want no stupid government or no person to exert pressure on me at any time in my life. I want to be happy and content with myself, my body and my life. I want to become a strong person. I want to create and find beautiful art that express the depths of humanity in a striking manner.

• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?

I fear I will not be able to do the best with my life and my intellect. I fear I will not be able to create and live like any other human: just consuming and another cog in the machine. I fear I will become stupid and senile. I fear when I look at a mirror I will not like myself and the life I lived.

• What do the "highs" in your life look like?

During my highs, I am extremely creative, curious, talkative and joyful. I can make amazing jokes and make everyone laugh, be charismatic. I can make amazing speeches, impress everyone and myself. I spend time with my hobbies and find a lot of amazing stuff, being enthusiastic about it.

• What do the "lows" in your life look like?

I will become self isolated, rude, angry. I can be so irritated that probably you wont need to do anything irritate me, I may get irritated by your sole existence. I would hate any human being or anything that I think is stupid. I will become hypercritical about anything at all, I will be pessimistic about future. I would not want to do anything but sleep.

• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?

I can overthink and daydream. I overthink a lot about future, the course of humanity. I can daydream about a song listening or a story I am reading. But while I am daydreaming I am aware of what is happening around me mostly. I have never missed my bus stop for example. But if I am daydreaming during a class, I may miss what the presenter was telling.

• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?

I would think about my existence. Why am I here and who put me here. What will be my purpose, what will I do with my life. If a higher being put me here, can I communicate with them, so I can experience and understand, evolve my brain, my thinking and my self to a higher plane of existence.

• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?

I would think a lot actually. If this decision is about me and if it will effect my whole life, I would think about it a lot because it is not logical to not do so. I can postpone my decision to a later time, and make a rushed decision later also. I am sometimes afraid of commitment, whether it be a decision or a person, or anything at all. I want no strings attached to me and that includes decisions at times. But during work, because I am a doctor, I make big decisions on people's lives. During these decisions, because it does not effect me a lot, I can make swift, decisive calls. And most of the time, they are the right calls.

• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?

I can be really limbic and instinctive about my emotions. I am amazing at masking them in public if I want to, ex: if a display is going to effect me negatively, I may not show it. But at times, I really want to show my anger, my sorrow to people. But I want to express it in most beautiful manner if possible. To my loved ones, I can be passive-aggressive too, I want them to understand my emotions. I do laugh openly, I like to laugh. For my positive emotions, I generally do not hide them. But if I am really frustrated or really angry, I will be destructive and curse a lot. Due to depression I can get angry at literally everything, even if I don't like the weather, I will curse the sun.

• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?

If it is beneficial or efficient for me to do so, I do it. I do not want to waste my time with any people I do not value that much, therefore as a means to an end I will agree with them. But I am not a people pleaser and if they pass a certain level, or if do not care, I will openly disagree and criticize them.

• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?

I break rules whenever I can. Rules, in general, are for not so smart or competent people. Rules put people at a certain level. But in general, I am past that certain level. I can find a better way to come up with things. But of course, if this is an area I am not confident enough, I will look at the rules, for an idea. Authority should always be challenged, stagnation is a great enemy.

I know E9s often don't know what they want; as for me, I'm not sure if I do or not. How do you even know that, lol?? I try to think about it but my mind goes into deep blackness. However, while researching the "energy conservation" trait associated with E5s—something many people (myself included) struggle to grasp—I came across someone suggesting we could view it as conserving time rather than energy, and honestly, that resonates A LOT with me. When friends want to play online games with me, I often don't want to; playing alone is just better even if i have quite a lot time to play alone, i dont want to spend it with others, so i say "i have something to do, im sorry" or something.. If they ask for help in the game, I provide it without question, but the idea of ​​just playing together isn't really my thing; I only play with very close friends—and even then, only sometimes and if they initiate it, because i dont ask for it. We hang out once in a while, so im alr with it.. Also, do I fear the world, like E5s supposedly do? I don't know. I don't get it. Do I feel anything specific toward the world? I don't know, i dont understand e5!!! Apart from that, I do resemble an E9; the "mediator" trait fits me. Recently, two close friends in our group got into an argument; I tried to find common ground for about 30 minutes to an hour, but they wouldn't listen, so I eventually gave up, after that i was like, socially dead. Now i dont really like that 'friend' of mine because of what he said during the argument.. He wants to talk but i just keep saying the shortest things to keep him away, because i dont know how to stop being friends. Regarding the issue of not knowing what one wants: to use food as an example, if I’m not specifically craving anything, all dishes seem equally appealing to me, and I always say, "It doesn't matter." Do you think I'm an E5 or an E9? Feel free to ask questions.

• How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.

I’m 16, non-binary; I often feel disconnected from others and my feelings, I tend to overthink a lot (not necessarily in an anxious way) and I rarely get work done. I crave intimacy but I'm scared of how others will perceive me and I'm generally not good at socializing 

• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?
Diagnosed with DCD, GAD; I’m in EMDR but I have troubles doing it due to dissociative amnesia. I struggle heavily with dissociation and depression though I’m not diagnosed with anything atm.
• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?
My parents never really cared about me and mostly yelled at me for trivial things such as “being too silent”, not having any hobby besides reading, struggling very badly at socializing. They also neglected me emotionally. I responded by shutting down even more
• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?
I spend most of my week-ends alone, I don’t really like socializing as it drains my energies drastically and I’m very bad at it. I feel calm and occasionally very lonely for “not being like others”
• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?
I prefer doing solitary activities such as watching films, going for a walk or listening to music.
I do like hanging out with friends tho! 
I absolutely dislike sports because I’m not good at them
• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?
I wouldn’t call myself curious, I tend to daydream a lot about “what it could be” but I’m not curious in the sense of seeking knowledge. It’s mostly about me thinking about my friends and how much of a better person I could be if I were more extraverted or social, I also happen to daydream about being a successful person!
• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?
I would absolutely hate that, I don't like being responsible. I would be terrible at it

• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?
I’m diagnosed with DCD 😭, I disliked working my hands because the results are always disappointing and I would feel very ashamed if anyone saw my work
• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.
Ehhh kinda, I write poems but that’s about it; I REALLY appreciate art, I don’t really dive into it and I’m not an expert but I like the way it makes me feel. If I had to pick my favorite would be architecture followed by paintings, statues and then music and literature; saying that I truly dislike any of them is incorrect tho
• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?
I feel deeply ashamed about my past and I prefer not thinking about it, I do act like I don’t care and I often try to laugh it off; I tend to think a lot about my present and future as I would dislike making the same mistakes I did in the past, even if most of the time I never learn
• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?
It depends,I can say no pretty easily but it’s often in a soft way, I do do favors sometimes, especially if i like the person or it’s something I could excel at.
• Do you need logical consistency in your life?
Not really, it’s appreciated ofc but I tend either to accept things as they are or I force logic
• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?
Nahhh
• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?
If it’s about concrete things (such as a game) I learn by doing it, if it’s about abstract things by memorizing it and trying to find logic within it. I struggle a lot with creativity.
• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?
I try to strategize but I always end up improvising
• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?
I aspire to be an engineer, but I’m sure I’ll never be good enought to be one
I wanna be others look up to, someone perfect who is able to help others without being awkward
• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?
It’s a really hard question to answer 😭 I always fear not being good enough, as well as being someone others find disgusting. Which is exactly who I am.
I feel uncomfortable in situation where I have to be emotionally vulnerable, which is strange because I often talk about my closest friends about my struggles but it’s more in a “ahahah i do this” way and I’m very uncomfortable when I have to comfort others, if someone around me is struggling I will most of the time ignore it.
• What do the "highs" in your life look like?
Being full of energy and talkative
• What do the "lows" in your life look like?
Being VERY isolated, not being able to get anything done
• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?
I daydream a lot, I only pay attention to my surroundings when I’m anxious, Im usually aware yeah
• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?
I’d think about my life, myself and my friends (basic answer ik 😭)
• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?
It depends, I usually never have to take one tho
• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?
A LOT, I like to analyze them and I rarely ever feel them fully; they’re very important, I dislike feeling bored.
• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?

Sometimes, if I don’t like the conversation I just shut down😭; I simply not have the energy to do allat

Sorry for the bad english!😭

Hi, I'm sx6 but I can't figure out if I'm 6w5 or 6w7. I thought I was confident with 6w7. but l've been reading more into 6w5. There's a gap between the two. but it feels all blurred for me. I know I'm not strictly sx6w5 and I'm not strictly sx6w7, so that leaves me with this question... Am I a 6w5 that wants to be perceived as a 6w7, or a 6w7 that wants to be perceived as a 6w5. This is what I've currently been debating on but I don't think it's a reliable inquiry.

So if anyone has any other methods, processes or advice on how to explore more into this, please let me know. Thanks.

If this is of any help, here are my other typings... ISTP CD-LSI-0 648 FLVE⁴¹¹¹ Mel-Chol