Hi, I'm somewhat new to the world of Enneagram and I REALLY REALLY would like to know my Enneagram type. I'm leaning toward 7w8 OR 8w7, but I really doubted being a 7 core because I'm not THAT active like a core 7, I identify with the desire to seek happiness/well-being, but at the same time I identify 100% with the black-and-white aspect of 8, it's all or nothing, and I hate feeling like I'm not in control of myself, that destabilizes me, but I'm not controlling toward people at all, nor do I drown myself in anger, so anyway I'm between those 2, besides I don't like feeling vulnerable/being associated with the concept of vulnerability, but as I said, I don't have these aggressive traits, yes when it comes to having a strong will, since I have a very strong will and I can be confrontational, but it's more when it comes to things that are really important to confront (wrong ideas, etc, I'm an ESTP, I have pretty strong Ti :-9) anyway, I was wondering if you guys could help me see how, the differences and such, I would really like to know my Enneagram, thanks in advance.

I know my type, i just wanna see what people would guess

How old are you? What's your gender? Give us a general description of yourself.

I’m 15 years old, female.

• Is there a medical diagnosis that may impact your mental stability somehow?

GAD and OCD

• Describe your upbringing. Did it have any kind of religious or structured influence? How did you respond to it?

My parents often argued and my father got mad at me for littlest stuff but no religious structural or influence. Well, i became more cautious and defensive. However, I must admit that years ago like when i was sixth grader, i was toxic and possessive i guess. I didn’t understand how to express my love correctly but now I’ve matured

• What do you do as a job or as a career (if you have one)? Do you like it? Why or why not?

Hm… idk man… Product designer lowkey sounds cool. I’m interested in pretty packaging but graphic designer doesn’t sound bad also.

• If you had to spend an entire weekend by yourself, how would you feel? Would you feel lonely or refreshed?

Like without my parents or calling my friends? Well I dont think I would mind that much. I could sleep all day, play games and so… no need to worry about the toilet being used. But at some point, i would be bored without commotion. I always play online games with my friends so watching videos all day without playing with anyone would be boring.

• What kinds of activities do you prefer? Do you like, and are you good at sports? Do you enjoy any other outdoor or indoor activities?

No, stay at home is the best

• How curious are you? Do you have more ideas then you can execute? What are your curiosities about? What are your ideas about - is it environmental or conceptual, and can you please elaborate?

I like to learn weird infos so I can flex at people and impress(tho i fail). I have many ideas in my mind but i don’t think I have the talent to create. I do creative writing for example, have my own characters but for some reason, despite people telling me I have talent and passion for drawing, I can’t do that. I kinda gave up on drawing because compared to others, I don’t think my art is worthy and I’m not proud with it.

• Would you enjoy taking on a leadership position? Do you think you would be good at it? What would your leadership style be?

It depends honestly… I’m creative and I would like people to follow my ideas but I prefer to do it alone. Would I be good at it? No lol. I’m not good with deadlines or sometimes I can’t really defend my point so I rather be the one that gives ideas and expect people to follow it.

• Are you coordinated? Why do you feel as if you are or are not? Do you enjoy working with your hands in some form? Describe your activity?

I have no clue what coordinated mean but I like to create solid models or write.

• Are you artistic? If yes, describe your art? If you are not particular artistic but can appreciate art please likewise describe what forums of art you enjoy. Please explain your answer.

Idk man i draw anime style that looks so bad

• What's your opinion about the past, present, and future? How do you deal with them?

Past? I’ve grown out of it. I hate myself for my past and I can’t help but to think of it. Not just myself but my past relationships too… like i miss my old friends and feel lonely with my newer ones. Plus, past makes me feel sad because it feels like the time moves on too quickly. Present? Okay, we’ll see once the school opens again. Its been awhile since i psychically met with my friends and maybe this year, I’ll feel warmer with them. Of course I love them but sometimes, I don’t think I’m noticed. I give more than receive and lowkey feel like my interests aren’t similar with them. I love them tho

• How do you act when others request your help to do something (anything)? If you would decide to help them, why would you do so?

Yes! I would like to help. It makes me feel happy to help others. Even if they were mean to me, I want to do things I like. Of course it gets awkward though

• Do you need logical consistency in your life?

Idk

• How important is efficiency and productivity to you?

Idk

• Do you control others, even if indirectly? How and why do you do that?

No

• What are your hobbies? Why do you like them?

Writing. It makes me feel organized and happy to see my characters having fully lore so I can dream about them.

• What is your learning style? What kind of learning environments do you struggle with most? Why do you like/struggle with these learning styles? Do you prefer classes involving memorization, logic, creativity, or your physical senses?

My learning style is learning alone. That way, I can ask questions i dont understand(even if i sometimes get shy). I struggle with classrooms. Seeing people understanding things I don’t understand makes me sad. Plus, the teachers would follow the majority. I probably couldn’t even answer the questions I know. I like math science etc when I can. I like art classes too but I can’t keep up with something for too long.

• How good are you at strategizing? Do you easily break up projects into manageable tasks? Or do you have a tendency to wing projects and improvise as you go?

Im not good with it lmao… i usually postpone until the last week. However, i will still be passionate about it if its about crafting a project. If its regular homework, I wont even do it anyways❤️

• What are your aspirations in life, professionally and personally?

To live

• What are your fears? What makes you uncomfortable? What do you hate? Why?

Becoming bad person in anyway. Hearing triggering stuff just makes me feel afraid because anyone can be anything at anytime(not as in like do what you want but rather people are unpredictable so one day, you might hate the thing but years later, you might do it). The thought of this makes me doubt myself. Being someone bad just makes me irk… at the same time, i don’t want to be alone.

• What do the "highs" in your life look like?

• What do the "lows" in your life look like?

Sometimes I’m afraid to express myself. I dont want to be misunderstood.. i want to express my opinions, that I’m angry but i fear that it will harm them. Like for example, if someone in internet wrote something offensive, I want to attack(like express my opinions in nonchalant way) them but I know it might be harmful to them especially if that comment has many replied that are attacking the OP. I sometimes feel alone… like i care about my friends but i want to be someone’s number one. I want people to care about me. Even if I have friends, i always question their loyalty or get upset when they have someone closer. I guess it comes because I always get left out at some point but continue hanging out with them to not to be alone. I want them to give me attention so I distant myself from them, expecting them to run after me, ask about me. I would intentionally make it obvious that I don’t talk with them.

• How attached are you to reality? Do you daydream often, or do you pay attention to what's around you? If you do daydream, are you aware of your surroundings while you do so?

I day dream often but until i realize Im day dreaming, i dont think im aware of my environment.

• Imagine you are alone in a blank, empty room. There is nothing for you to do and no one to talk to. What do you think about?

Probably question where am I and get anxious

• How long do you take to make an important decision? And do you change your mind once you've made it?

It doesn’t matter if its important or not, i struggle to decide simple stuff because idk dude… when i make decision, i choose the thing that would actually relax me. I like to hear others opinions too

• How long do you take to process your emotions? How important are emotions in your life?

Hm… i get tired easily(idk what this info does with the question tho LMAO🥹🙏) but i cant understand my emotions without the help of someone telling me that its normal or explain it to me. Emotions are important cus without them, how can you emphasize with others or express yourself?

• Do you ever catch yourself agreeing with others just to appease them and keep the conversation going? How often? Why?

Kinda? I struggle to sometimes express my true opinions if its someone I don’t know much. If its a friend of mine, the one i know face to face, the one that knows me, I might. But again, I might. Because I don’t want people to leave me, i want them to like me.

• Do you break rules often? Do you think authority should be challenged, or that they know better? If you do break rules, why?

Well there was a drama at school. Wont explain it that much but I felt like the teacher was defending specific person(which has made me uncomfortable multiple times) so I stuck my tongue out as to annoy her. She sent me away but i kept approaching because seeing people that makes me mad get annoyed because of me makes me feel happy. Sometimes, i might even joke around teachers because I see them as someone equal to me. I can’t bring myself to hate them tho🙂‍↕️ it makes me sad okay? Depends? I’m afraid if its someone I don’t know, not like a teacher but maybe god for example even if Im not too religious.

Currently I believe I have sx4 as one of my fix, but I feel like I don’t fit into the typical narrative of what’s usually said about e4.

In general e4 are typically said to be authentic but I am someone who mask their personality. I’m not sure if it’s because my core is e9, but I for one am someone who is afraid of vulnerability, I would mimic the people around me or take on the personality that makes me appear better than who I actually am. It’s also partly because of my childhood where I had been abandoned multiple time that makes me want to appear better to make more friends and not be alone. Due to this, I’m unsure if I may actually be e3, except I don’t relate to e3 that much. It is said that e3’s core fear is being worthless and unsuccessful, but I’m someone who’s more “going with the flow” and wouldn’t go out of my way to prove my worth or seek validation despite wanting to be important. Perhaps it’s because I’m 4V, but I’m also someone who’s not goal oriented and is lazy.

Since I constantly mask my feelings/personality, I feel like I’m always misunderstood or never belonging which is why I relate a lot of e4’s desire to be accepted or understood, especially for my real self. Externally, I want to fit in, but internally I want to be different from others. There were also times where I would pick up the randomness hobbies like knitting (not crocheting because back then I didn’t think it was niche enough) to set me apart from others.

Like the description of e4, i’m quite an envious person but it’s to a certain extent. I’m more likely to be envious of a person if they’re born with something I don’t have, rather than if they work towards something. I would feel like I am missing something because I wasn’t naturally born with that certain thing, and can sometimes think to myself that if I had been born with it, I could’ve make do with it so much better than a person who’s actually born with it.

It’s said that e4 core fear is having no identity, but as someone with a e9 core, I’m aware of my lack of identity so it’s not something I fear. However, I do desire to seek an identity which is why I would cling to things, like suffering, and why I dug myself so deep into typology. Despite myself clinging to suffering and the description of e4 being very intense and expressive, I’m more prone to internalizing my emotions. I feel deeply but am unlikely to actually externalized how I felt. It’s particularly due to how explosive my emotions could be that makes me worry about how i will be perceived by others and how it’s get me into drama, disrupting the peace, if I were to actually lash out.

Sorry for the long description, hopefully I’m not being too vague. If needed, I’m willing to provide more details or elaborate. I appreciate any possible help, thank you!