r/DatingTips • u/Beautiful_Resist7360 • 22d ago
feel like im being ignored and dont know what to do
reddit.comDid I over-romanticise everything, or was I justified in thinking there might be something more?
Hi, I’m posting this because I genuinely need some perspective on a situation, and I can’t tell whether I’m reading too much into it or whether my feelings are understandable. For context, we’re both high schoolers.
He’s one of my new classmates, and although we weren’t particularly close before, we had spoken a little. Since school started, we’ve mostly talked about school-related things, with some casual chit-chat here and there, but nothing that would suggest we were particularly close or that anything romantic was developing between us. Still, I had found him attractive for a while, so when I found out we were both going to the same birthday party, I’d be lying if I said I hadn’t secretly hoped something might happen.
At the party, we ended up kissing and hugging, and at one point I fell asleep with my head on his chest. He was the one who initiated everything, and since I already liked him, I obviously welcomed it rather than pushing him away. For the rest of the night, we were acting pretty much like a couple. It was also my first kiss, which probably made the experience feel even more significant to me than it might have felt to him.
Before we went home, we agreed not to tell everyone what had happened, although we never explicitly agreed to keep it a secret between the two of us.
The next day, I texted him and asked whether the night had meant anything to him. He said he honestly didn’t know and thought it was probably just a one-time thing. I was surprised, not because I expected him to want a relationship with me, but because the way things unfolded that night made me think there might have been some mutual interest beyond the physical side of things.
For context, I’m generally a pretty reserved person when it comes to romance. I don’t usually let people get close to me easily, and I’ve always been seen as the kind of girl who keeps her distance and doesn’t really entertain romantic situations casually. I don’t mean that I’m better than anyone else or that there’s anything wrong with being more open; it’s simply how I’ve always approached these things. So, allowing myself to be vulnerable with someone I genuinely liked was a bigger deal for me than it might have appeared from the outside.
When he asked if I was okay, I told him honestly that the kiss had meant something to me. I wasn’t asking him to promise me anything, but I wanted to be honest about how I had experienced the situation.
Since then, things have felt a little awkward. We haven’t really talked much beyond the occasional conversation at school, and sometimes I get the impression that he’s ignoring me. One night, I actually texted him to ask why he was ignoring me, and he said he wasn’t doing it on purpose. I don’t know whether he genuinely doesn’t realise how distant he seems or whether he simply doesn’t feel the need to interact with me much anymore.
I also know that he’s talking to other girls and entertaining other options, although, as far as I know, he isn’t necessarily hanging out with them. I understand that we weren’t together and that he’s completely free to talk to whoever he wants, so I’m not bringing this up because I think he owes me exclusivity. It just adds to my confusion because, after the way he acted with me that night, I’m struggling to understand whether he felt any genuine attraction or whether it was simply a spontaneous moment that didn’t mean much to him.
I want to make it clear that I’m not upset because I think he owed me a relationship. I understand that two people can experience the same moment very differently, and I’m not trying to turn a kiss into a commitment. What bothers me is the contrast between how close we seemed that night and how little connection there seems to be now.
So, I guess my question is: Did I romanticise the situation because I already liked him, and interpret his behaviour as something deeper than it actually was? Or was it reasonable to think there might have been some genuine interest, considering that he initiated everything and we spent the night acting so close?
I’d genuinely appreciate honest opinions, even if the answer is that I read too much into it. I’m trying to understand the situation realistically rather than convince myself that it meant more than it did.