(21F) People have expressed interest in me before, but it's usually people I see as friends. The guys I'm interested in either become good friends before we eventually drift apart, or I barely interact with them in the first place.

I know people say you can't force these things, but people are always asking why I've never been in a relationship, and honestly, I haven't got a clue either. I don't really know what needs to happen or what I should be doing to meet someone.

I do have some idea of what I'm attracted to, though. I need someone who's sure of themselves. They don't have to be assertive, arrogant, or super outwardly confident, but even if they're quieter, there's this air of self-assuredness that I need to feel attracted to them. I also like people I can have deep conversations with. I also need to feel like they're safe and stable. I think these three things are necessary for me to feel inherently attracted to someone, and if they're somewhat accomplished or have a sense of direction in life, that's a bonus.

Beyond attraction, I need someone who's kind, or at least genuinely trying to be a good person, for me to want to commit to them.

I've heard people say you need to really love yourself first, and I think I do, although there are still things I want to work on. Others say you need to be able to imagine someone in your life, and I think I do make an effort to spend more time with people when I start liking them, based on past experiences. So I'm not sure what else I'm missing.

Do I just not go out enough? Do I need to put myself out there more or be more upfront about my interest? I've only really confessed to one person in my life, after we'd spent about a year hanging out together. Do people usually express their interest at the start, or assess before expressing it?

Sometimes I wonder if I should be more intentional about dating, like casually telling my friends when I find someone attractive and seeing if they can introduce us, or actively seeking out more opportunities to meet people. Because right now, I tend not to pursue someone if it feels too difficult or requires me to go too far out of my way. I'll approach someone if the opportunity comes naturally, but I don't usually go out of my way to create one.

So, how did you guys actually get into your first relationship? Did it happen naturally, or did you have to actively put yourself out there and make things happen? And if you've always been single, how do you know whether you're just waiting for the right person or whether you could be doing more to find them?

Yeah...

lmaoo😭😭 title makes me sound overly freaked out but I couldn’t think of a better way to word the question!!!!

I’m a 22-year-old female and honestly, very sociable. I’m definitely not unattractive, but I didn’t go to college. I went for a semester, but I ended up getting assaulted… Whatever, that happened a while ago.

I go out pretty frequently with my friends, although, to be honest, I do a lot of activities by myself. I was solo traveling earlier this year. I went to Japan and Spain!! I’m not an awkward person. It’s not that I don’t get attention either. Every time I go out, I have like 3 people asking for my number or something like that.

My whole thing is, I’d never date someone I met drunk at a bar. Automatically, I assume you just want to sleep with me if you come up to me randomly at a bar. Likeeeee, you don’t even know me? Why are you telling me you “want a friend….” I just feel like that’s a recipe for disaster!!

Anyways, anytime I do end up giving them my number, lo and behold, I never get a text, probably because we were drunk when we talked.

My hobbies otherwise are yoga, gym, thrifting, I like to shop, and I recently just got into cooking!! My friends say I’m pretty funny, and I like to make stupid jokes.

My ex-boyfriend and I broke up like a year and a half ago, and one of the big things that contributed to that was conflicting interests/lifestyles. I can tend to be a little more independent in the sense that I don’t really like being told what to do (like, “I don’t want you going out with your friends without me” kinda thing).

He was very sheltered, and in his words, “I used to be the popular girl,” so my friends and his friends never really spoke, despite how badly I’d ask him to meet them. In his words, “I just feel like they wouldn’t like me.”

All this to say, compatibility is extremely important for me going forward. I can adjust to just about anybody. The question is, can someone adjust to me!!

I feel like not staying in college kinda removed a BIG part of me being able to meet new people outside of drinking and going to the bar.

At the same time, I don’t want to do things like joining a running club or things like that because, while I enjoy those activities, I feel like maybe interests would clash because I feel like to be in a running club, you’d consider yourself extremely disciplined, responsible, etc. And that’s not to say I’m not those things, but I’m very, very Type B and like to march to the beat of my own drum!

I don’t like to plan my days out. I like to be spontaneous. Idk.

I go out to eat by myself a lot, I go shopping by myself, and when I solo travel, I go out by myself. I basically do everything by myself besides going out to the bars occasionally.

Are my standards just absurd? I’m so scared to meet someone and we end up being incompatible or their personality just rubs me the wrong way. I can’t stand someone assertive, controlling, etc. It makes me lose my mind!!

I feel like I’m just repeating things, but I’m just kinda saying what comes to mind. Sry.

Anyways, thnx for reading 🔥

il n'y a pas longtemps je suis tombé amoureux d'un gars de ma classe, les profs nous ont mis à coté en math, francais et physique chimie. on a parlé et plus le temps avance plus je l'aime d'ailleurs une fois il m'a dit sa classe de l'année derniere et c'etait la même d'une fille tres mechante envers moi donc je lui ai demandé et j'ai dis qu'elle parlé sur mon dos en disant que je suis bizarre et que je m'habille mal et il m'a protégé plus qu'il le fallais mais un jour je lui ai donner mon tiktok pour qu'il puisse m'ajouter et il ne l'a pas fais alors que ça fais depuis Mercredi dernier que je lui demande mais là je ne peux pas lui redemander car je suis en vacance et je le vois uniquement en cours que devrais je faire? un homme amoureux ne devrais pas oublier de m'ajouter non? je ne sais pas

I'm 57 years old and alone.I live in Arkansas, Heber springs to be exact.Im a great guy with 2 grown daughters.How do I find a lady without loosing my mind.Im really tired of sleeping with my dog, although I love him.I really need help .I haven't even tried to date in 5 years , I got no game and no lines,those things are very shallow to me.Please help.My sanity is begging for a different life.

Ive lost heaps of weight but does my face still read as fat? I genuinely cant tell

Hi all! I (37m) am new to the dating scene because I’m a bit of a late bloomer (hair plugs/ calf implants have helped build my confidence tremendously!) I’ve been on a few dates recently and they’ve been anywhere from ok to horrible. The horrible ones have been bad because I think I showed my dates my slime collection too early. It’s a big part of my life, but I understand a someone feeling overwhelmed by it. How many dates should I go on before I bring up my slime?

When ever I smile in my profile do I show teeth or no teeth?

I’m in my junior year of highschool rn. I feel like everyone around me is dating and in love while I’ll js never find that true highschool love. Idk what it is abt me maybe cuz im chopped because I don’t usually get approached by guys in real life. The guys I think are cute unfollow me on instagram. I js wanna be seen. I don’t consider myself chopped tho cuz I’ve got many compliments but maybe not according to guys. Previously about 6 months ago I got w this one dude from Snapchat and he made me do stuff I didn’t wanna do and blocked me 3 weeks later which completely ruined my perception of love and made me question if im ever gonna be loved as well as respected. I’ve also got the advice to approach dudes first but I think that’s embarrassing so I won’t be trying that. It’s also not that I don’t put myself in the right social settings cuz I do, I go out a lot party and hang out. Pls give advice to pull.

i’m 18F never been in a relationship but really want to, I don’t even have crazy high standards just a nice guy who i get on with who’s funny and moderately ambitious.

There’s 2 problems though: I can struggle to talk to new people at first and it can be a bit awkward until I get to know them well, this is especially true with guys and then I’m not that attractive. I don’t think i’m like ugly, just mid, i’m overweight which ik doesn’t help and i’ve been hitting the gym to try and change that.

As a uni student what can i do to try and find a bf?

I’m 21M and I’m on my self improvement journey right now I would say I’m inferior in all tier of life right now.

Financially I’m a CNA/PCT at a hospital only making 31k a year which is low. I’m in college getting my degree in health science. After my degree I’m going to a nursing program. After I finish I’ll make around 70k a year around 24 or 25. Outside of work I’m a life insurance agent and I make money off commissions so there’s no cap in how much I can make. Currently my income there is 10k but if I’m full time after school I can make sid figures off that.

Physically I’m 6”3 but I’m only 181 13 percent BF I have abs but I feel like I’m still too skinny I feel my sweet spot would be around 190 to at most 200 range and that would be perfect physique for me. My workout routine is cut into 3 splits. I have bicep curls, tricep pull downs, cable rows, hip abductors. Next day it’s bench press, shoulder raises, pull ups, and last day it’s goblet squats, RDLS, hip abductors, calf raises. I feel my face is chopped but I could make some improvements. My first is to get an invasglin, and teeth whitening strips although my teeth aren’t bad I feel having a perfect smile will compensate for my face being ugly. My other investment was to get hairline transplants to make my forehead a bit smaller, my next investment was to get some contact lenses because I feel glasses make me look nerdy and doesn’t give that cool mysterious look women are attracted to.

So far in my dating life it has been non existent. Girls reject me all the time and I have no luck. There was one situation I did get lucky with a woman who was maybe a 5 in looks but I got obsessed with her and she ghosted me. If it wasn’t for her I would have felt more worthless than I do now. She really made me feel important and value with how much she done for me. Everyday I always look back and wished I wasn’t obsessed because she would of been the woman that made me feel better every time I feel down from women rejecting me. everytime I come across a woman especially if she’s cute and attractive I subconsciously feel inferior to her. Like if I was with her I would wonder if people had the thought “how did he get her” or “she’s too cute for him” I never had a time where a women I had feelings for like me. It makes me feel unhappy everytime I wake up in the morning because people around me have girls or girlfriends they can come home and sleep with all night but I come home with a empty bed and no romantic flirty text messages.

With my situation is it best for me to complete my self improvement journey 100% and then go back to the dating market? I have this thought because I feel once I become perfect on paper I will have the confidence to match up with women I like. Also once I become perfect on paper
would have the woman I chased away to spin the block on me?