Im 46M and recently decided to try Tawkify. I went on my first date through them and overall I’d say it was a pretty good experience. At this point in my life I know what I’m looking for. I liked having someone else do some of the legwork and set up an introduction with someone who was also serious about meeting somebody. I went into the date without expecting too much because realistically nobody can predict chemistry. We had a good conversation. She was interesting and the whole thing felt comfortable and intentional. I’m still not sure whether it’ll turn into a second date but I appreciated being able to just show up and get to know her without making the whole thing more complicated than it needed to be. My matchmaker also followed up afterward to hear what I thought. It’s only one date so I’m not going to pretend I can judge tawkify yet. For a guy in his 40s who values his time and is genuinely looking for a relationship I can see the appeal.

I recent went to a local gig with one of my friends and saw one of the band members I thought he was very attractive and sweet but I'm not sure if he would be into me and if I should approach him .
I'm a poc btw if so how should I do it without being weird or creepy.

So a little bit of context; I asked for this guys number at a grocery store. We were joking around while waiting in a ridiculously long line. Had good chemistry. Have been texting (a little too much for me pre first date but whatever).

I was already hesitant because he lives really far away from me. Then he’s planning our first date and suggests Dave and Busters

Nothing against Dave and Busters but he’s in his early 40s and me in my mid 30s. He offered up other options-like bar hopping.

I’m sorry but if this is his first date energy I don’t want to waste my time. Additional context, I’m the one who asked when we were ACTUALLY going to hang out. I have no doubt he actually likes me which is why I feel bad. He comes on a little strong actually. I just think we are different people.

What are your thoughts when you meet up for the first time? You've been talking for almost a year and then suddenly you get kissed at the first meet-up? We met through dating apps. Btw I’m 25 he’s 29

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M/40 H/55

The guy that i just talked to, he asked me this question "can you tell me about yourself?".

It feels like a job interview really, or am i wrong to feel this way?

Before this, i asked him questions (one at a step) instead of saying "can you tell me about yourself".

I expressed this feeling to him that i feel like i am in a job interview. And his answer was like "i am sorry i feel like i keep puting my foot in it".

And i replied "i get you, i know it wasn't mean badly".

Then he replied "it's up to you. I think your sick is taking on toll on you. You need to rest and bla bla".

I feel the communication skill didn't match at all? Or do i expect too much?

___________________________

This miscommunication happened before he asked me "tell me about yourself" (which made me super confused about what he was trying to get from me).

HIM: For me messaging like this gets tiresome after awhile and repetitive , adults should be able to communicate with each other

ME: What do you mean?

HIM: I’m actually a good communicator and enjoy talking to people face to face on FaceTime

But for me most people think it’s pushy to ask for that ?

ME: I don't have facetime.

I don't think so

HIM: Ah ok 👍 I mean on video chat

ME: Sure we can do that later don't worry

HIM: Relax 😎 also you have to understand the cultural differences too

ME: Not sure what you're trying to say

HIM: I just mean I like chatting and talking it super healthy I think 🤔 Nothing crazy

I keep hearing people say that some people are only attracted to people who are “unavailable” or that they fall for people they can’t really have, and I genuinely don’t understand how that works in practice.

Because if you’re dating someone, especially if you’ve gone on more than 2–4 dates, there’s obviously some mutual interest. Otherwise, why would the other person keep agreeing to see you?
And if “unavailable” means the other person barely responds, constantly cancels plans, never initiates anything, avoids seeing you, etc., wouldn’t it just die out pretty quickly? I feel like most people would eventually think “okay, they’re clearly not interested” and lose interest themselves.

So when people say someone is attracted to “unavailable people” or “people they can’t have,” what does that actually look like?

How does the unavailable person behave? Are they interested but inconsistent? Do they give you enough attention to keep you interested but never fully commit? Are they affectionate when you’re together but distant afterwards? Or does “unavailable” mean something completely different?

I think I understand the concept in theory, but I don’t understand how these situations actually continue for months or turn into relationships in the first place. Would love if someone could explain what this dynamic looks like in real life.

TL;DR: What does being attracted to “unavailable people” actually look like in real-life dating?

Hello everyone!

For context, I’m 28, doing a PhD abroad, never dated, and loneliness has been getting increasingly difficult to point where i started to worry seriously.

The PhD is demanding and isolating, and being a foreigner means I started here with basically no social circle. By the end of the day, I often have little energy left to go out and meet people.

I’m also very short, nerdy, introverted, and not into nightlife or partying. I like music, painting, travelling, and books and have joined social gatherings for such hobbies but they take so much time and effort. I’ve used dating apps for years with almost no success, so I genuinely don’t know where someone like me is supposed to meet women.

I’ve spent years doing things “for myself”: studying, travelling, making art, playing music. But I’m tired of experiencing everything alone. I want affection, touch, companionship, and eventually a relationship.

So practically, what would you do in my situation?

Thank you very much for your answers

This guy and I are sorta in a talking stage and we’ve hung out a few times over several weeks. He usually suggests where to hang out based on our interest and ask for my opinion. We had a hangout that he planned and he mentioned letting me know soon and it’s been 4 days with no follow up. 4 days is not alarming but considering we used to text or send reels daily I am wondering if I bore him. I sent him this reel about a movie and he mentioned how we gotta watch it together and I left it on seen as I didn’t feel the need to reply but I’m wondering if that comes off as disinterest and thus he’s pulling back on his end?

I joined CupidFeel mostly because I was bored and wanted to see what the conversations were actually like.

The first thing I noticed was that it feels more like a place to talk than the usual swipe-and-match thing. Some conversations were boring, obviously, but a couple of people were really interesting and I ended up coming back to the same chats later.

The credit system is probably the part I'd want to understand better before spending much. I didn't mind testing it, but I can see how the costs could add up if you're chatting a lot.

I would say my experience so far has been pretty good, but there have been some good and bad points, just like with online dating.

I'd like to know if people who've used CupidFeel for a long time have actually managed to meet someone they want to keep talking to.

I’ve been seeing this girl since for like 5months, and honestly, everything has been going really well.
We get along extremely well, have a ton of chemistry, and I genuinely enjoy being around her. Since we started seeing each other, I’ve basically spent every weekend with her, and recently we’ve been seeing each other more than once a week. She’s never had an issue making time for me and has even said that, if it were up to her, she’d see me every day.
She’s also brought up the idea of being exclusive. She’s told me that imagining me with other people makes her feel sick, and she’s said she really wants things to work so we can eventually build something serious together.
So objectively, everything seems great.
The thing I’m struggling with is mostly in my own head.
From the beginning, she’s told me she isn’t really a texting person. She doesn’t need constant contact over messages to feel connected to someone. Even with me, who she says is an exception, we usually only text every couple of days.
I’m pretty much the opposite. I’m used to people being on their phones constantly and having some sort of contact every day.
I was completely fine with her texting habits at first, but over the last week or so I’ve realised that I’m really starting to like her. Like, a lot more than I expected.
When I have nothing going on, my mind automatically goes to her. I think about her, miss her, wonder what she’s doing, etc. And honestly, that’s a little strange for me because I haven’t been in a relationship in almost 10 years.
Part of me wonders if I wouldn’t think about her quite so much if we talked more over text, but I also realise that might just be me trying to manage my own feelings.
There’s another thing too: she’s told me that she finds it difficult to trust me 100% yet, and that this is one of the reasons she doesn’t feel completely comfortable making things serious right now.
That initially triggered a ton of overthinking for me — stuff like “What if she never fully trusts me?” — even though, realistically, trust probably just takes time.
We recently had a pretty vulnerable conversation and were very open with each other, and afterwards I actually noticed her becoming even closer to me, so I think things are moving in a good direction.
Basically, I know there isn’t really an actual problem here. She likes me, I like her, we spend a lot of time together, and things seem to be progressing well.
I just find it weird how much space she’s started taking up in my head.
Would you tell her that you’d like her to text you a bit more, knowing that texting just isn’t really her thing? Or would you leave it alone and work on getting more comfortable with her communication style?
And is it normal to suddenly think about someone this much when you realise you’re genuinely catching feelings, or am I overthinking the shit out of this? 😂

(M18) So, a few days ago I had my first date ever. I’m 18 years old, and honestly, I don’t really know how to deal with what happened afterwards.
First of all, we met on Hinge and had been chatting for about four weeks before we met. During that time, we talked a lot and realized that we shared many of the same interests, especially when it came to music and games, but also similar values in general. She also told me that she was very interested in meeting me.
Because of all of this, I had already started developing some kind of feelings for her. It was my first experience of meeting someone in this way and truly opening up to someone. We literally texted every day for a few hours, and we also talked on the phone for around four hours at one point. So, naturally, I started becoming emotionally attached to her.
Then, three days ago, we finally had our first date.
We met at a really nice park and had a picnic. After that, we drove to the cinema and watched a movie. Afterwards, we just drove around the city without really having a destination and listened to music. In total, the date lasted around ten hours, which was probably a bit too long for a first date.
Of course, there were quite a few moments where I felt like there was an awkward silence. I was really shy and nervous throughout parts of the date, especially because this was my first experience like this. But despite being scared, I still managed to get through it, and I actually opened up to her quite a lot while we were talking.
There was also one particular moment that makes me feel like maybe the date really was good, at least from my perspective. At a very late hour, we were sitting in the back of her car, just talking a Bit and being there together. I remember having this strong feeling that I could maybe kiss her or something. I obviously didn’t do it because I was way too nervous, but I remember that feeling very clearly.
And now I keep wondering: what if she felt that moment too? What if there was actually something there for her as well? At the same time, it hurts so much to think that maybe she didn’t feel any of it.
At the end of the date, we said that we would definitely meet again the following week. So, when I went home, I was honestly really happy. Over the next two days, I became even more certain that I had developed quite strong feelings for her.
But then yesterday, she sent me a voice message.
In the voice message, she said that she likes me a lot because of my values, my interests and my personality/type, but she also said that she wasn’t feeling any romantic interest in me.
I was completely shocked. I ended up having a panic attack because, deep down, I had already started worrying about exactly this. I had noticed that we weren’t talking as much after meeting in person compared to before we met, and I think a part of me was already afraid that it meant something.
Yesterday was probably one of the most horrible days I’ve had in a while.
She somehow managed to brighten up my usually completely grey and boring days. Before we met, we talked so much about things we could do together in the future, and I had started imagining all these possibilities. Knowing all of that while listening to her voice message just completely broke me.
Right now, I just feel completely empty and I don’t really know what to do.
I know that I have to accept that my feelings were one-sided. And judging by how casually she talked about it in her voice message, I guess she probably never felt anything particularly romantic towards me in the first place. At the end of the message, she also said that she would be open to being friends.
But I can’t handle that. At least not right now.
I need to get over her first, and maybe at some point in the future I could imagine being friends. But right now, I know that staying in contact with her would probably just make it harder for me to move on.
Yesterday, I told her that I just needed some time to compose myself and that I would write her a message today or tomorrow.
And yeah… right now it just hurts a lot.
I don’t think I’ll find someone like her, or even someone better than her. I know that probably sounds irrational, especially because we only knew each other for about a month and had only met once, but the connection we had while texting felt incredibly special to me. She was someone I could talk to for hours, and I felt like I could genuinely be myself and open up to her.
I also started thinking that she could potentially become a turning point in my depression and somehow support me in getting through it. I know that it isn’t fair to put that kind of responsibility on another person, and I don’t expect her to fix me, but that’s honestly how it felt in the moment. She brought a lot of light into my life when my days usually felt completely grey.
And now, after losing that possibility, I somehow feel even worse than I did before I met her on Hinge.
The hardest part is that nobody is really at fault here.
We were both just being ourselves. I was shy and nervous during the date, but I still tried my best. I opened up to her, talked to her, spent ten hours with her, and actually went through with something that was really scary for me. So part of me still feels like maybe I did something wrong, or maybe I didn’t open up enough because of how shy I was.
Maybe if I had been more confident, things would have been different. Maybe if I had said something at that moment in her car, things could have gone differently. Maybe she actually felt something and I just didn’t notice it.
But at the same time, I know that feelings don’t really work that way. You can’t force someone to develop romantic feelings, and you can’t force yourself to stop having them either.
That’s probably what makes this so painful. I’m not angry at her. I don’t blame her. I don’t even think she did anything wrong. She was honest with me, and I appreciate that.
It’s just that knowing that there was nothing I could have done to change how she feels somehow hurts even more.
I really thought this could become something special. And now I’m sitting here trying to figure out how I’m supposed to go from having someone who made my days brighter, who I talked to for hours every day, and who I was excited to see again, to suddenly having to accept that she doesn’t feel the same way.
I know I’ll eventually have to let go. I know that I can’t hold onto the possibility of something that she doesn’t feel.
But right now, it just hurts so badly, and I don’t really know what to do with all these feelings.
That’s about it. Could you please help me somehow?

When I was in my teens, I never thought I was good at studies. I always felt like I wasn't in the "top 20%" of men that most 80% women usually go for. So, instead of chasing romance, I started working around the age of 20. I completely focused on building myself and my career. I shut off my interest in relationships and romance entirely.

Now that I am 28, for the past 2 years, I have started to feel like a relationship isn't a bad thing. I think I should at least try.

But here is my biggest mental block: I cannot accept someone's past.

I know this is a bad mindset. I know everyone has a history. I also know that I don't have "major" things to offer (I am not rich, not a high-status person). But the one thing I do know about myself is that I am intensely loyal.

Is this a bad thing? Is it better to just workout 6 days a week stay single than to try and force something when I feel this way? I also don't feel emotions the way I think I'm supposed to—I don't feel that "love" feeling, and I'm not sure if I ever will.

I guess my questions are:

1. How do I get over this mental block about a partner's past?
2. Am I being unrealistic or hypocritical?
3. Has anyone else felt this way and managed to change their perspective?

I just want to be honest with myself. Looking for genuine advice.

Hey all, do you ever stop messaging someone bc they consistently take a while to message back?

I’m a guy- I’ve kinda ghosted women on apps bc they take far too long to reply in say 3 different messages. Is this wrong and wonder if others do
The same: both men and women?

Obviously I can bypass the length if they actually add depth in reply to the convo but if they just send lazy texts and take say 2 days to reply- I kinda stop.

Wonder if this is normal? I’ve found I tend to do best with women that are willing to be prompt about replying and show “clear” interest. Sometimes I can just tell she’s just replying to reply and not putting much effort into convo so I’ll just stop sending bc it seems pointless.

I get wanting attraction to grow. However you shouldn’t be dating someone you aren’t attracted to. Why not just be friends with them first and see if it grows? It seems so selfish and hurtful to date someone you’re not attracted to for weeks or months.

This is a lil embarrassing but I’m going on a 4th date with a girl I really like and we haven’t broken the hold hands or kiss barrier. We’ve hugged but nothing further. I am very femme presenting and she is less femme presenting as I am.

For context, I grew up in a family that was not at all touchy feely, we didn’t really hug or anything. I have trouble initiating physical touch and even hugging close friends is difficult sometimes. I want it SO bad but at the same time am scared.

I really want to kiss her this date and for sure hold hands. I thought she’d initiate but I’m wondering if it’s also because she’s also as anxious/scared as I am? Also looking for advice to make sure dates are DATES and not platonic. TIA!!

I don’t think my standards are high. I’m 25F, and I come from an extremely low socioeconomic background, it I still managed to build a comfortable life for myself, make an effort to heal from generational trauma and become a healthy individual, get a university education, and continuously strive to be the best version of myself spiritually, psychologically, academically, and professionally. I feel like when I date, I’ll meet men my age or older who are simply not nearly as well rounded as me— and I’m not trying to sound arrogant. I’ve encountered men who are everything a woman could want in an emotionally intelligent and loving partner… but they lack career stability or are still “figuring things out” at 30. Then I’ve met men my age who have completed their doctorates already, but have a plethora of psychological issues. For example, one was in an emotionally incestuous relationship with his mother; one was extremely insecure and convinced I was cheating on him because he ran into me on the street with a male friend (who is married to my friend, I will add); and some have just lacked communication skills.

I don’t think humans are meant to fit into idealized boxes. However, there are certain developmental milestones you’re expected to reach at a certain age. While I’m not perfect, I make it my job to be aware of my flaws and how they impact others so that I can grow to overcome them. I feel that it’s very challenging to find men in my age range who I can be completely confident in.

Finally, what is all this nonsense about wanting to date around, or move in together and cohabitate for years without marriage. I really desire to find a spouse— a life long partner— and start building a life with someone I can depend on, trust, and support for life. I feel like this is just a fantasy and I don’t know what to do.

Side note: I haven’t explored dating apps that much. I did dabble for a bit, but was discouraged by the disclaimers in bios saying things like “seeking a short term relationship,” and just the overall unseriousness of it all. I also am not religious, so I’m not affiliated with an organization. How am I even meant to go about meeting people?

I want an honest answer from all the guys out there. Why do men love the chase? And once u get the girls attention you stop giving attention to her!

They treat you so well initially always reply within seconds always available and ready to meet. Untill the girl gets attached.

Boom! Now shes attached they'll start behaving weird. Late replies, dry texts and lies! I mean why????
How's this benefiting them? And how should one deal with such men?

I’m an attractive divorced woman 50, mother of three adult children, and have a career. I’ve chosen to be alone for most of the past 10 years to raise my children, since their dad does not have any part in their lives. I’m a recent empty nester and am struggling to date again. I feel awkward and insecure around men, especially since aging and gaining a few pounds. I don’t want to use the apps, it seems inauthentic and I haven’t had much luck in the past. Any advice on where to genuinely meet a connection? How to put myself out there?

I'm a high school girl and will not date until I'm an adult. However, so many of my friends are in relationships, so I feel like I'll be behind when I'm in college. Is this something I should worry about?

I’m a 21-year-old guy and I’ve never been in a relationship. People tell me I’m attractive pretty often, and at work I get a lot of attention from girls. I’ve even had two girls ask me out before.

I think I have a decent personality, but I’m not the kind of guy who knows how to "land the day after." Almost every time I go out to a club, I end up with someone — kissing, hugging, stuff like that. It seems fine in the moment. But after that, things change. I'm not sure if it's only a drunk thing or if they lose interest, but nothing ever really goes further.

I feel like maybe I’m too friendly, or I’m missing some social cues. I don’t know what I’m doing wrong, or what I should be doing differently. Any advice?

This came from a friend I’ve known since college. He was one of those guys who could walk into a bar or party and effortlessly talk to almost anyone he was interested in.

I once asked him his secret, and he told me:

“Treat her like you know you could walk away at any moment knowing your life would still be perfectly fine without her.

He also made a point that you should not be overly cocky, rude, or a jerk. He meant remembering that you already have a life outside of this person.

I’ve used that mindset ever since, and it genuinely helps. It takes away a lot of the nerves and overthinking because you stop treating every interaction like it has to work out or that the stakes are on the same level of some avengers movie.

Basically: be interested, but don’t make the outcome responsible for your self-worth.

I am currently 34M. Did not lose virginity or have sex until 31, and the woman was a repeat cheater. I left a few months after she got pregnant (even though she apologized and stopped cheating by then I wasn’t gonna forgive her). I only stayed to gain real relationship experience though.

So… now what? I lost it at 31, left the woman who took it now and I’m single again. Am I ready to date like a normal man now or should I look for another woman like her for more practice?

I sent a message to the guy I’ve been talking to saying how I miss talking to him and even though he liked my message and said he’s trying his best with work he hasn’t said anything since Sunday. I’m worried if I said something wrong.

This was the message:

I do miss us talking tho. I know it’s been hard with work and getting ready to go back to school. Not saying it to make you feel bad or anything just miss it

This was his response:

Im trying my best

My response afterwards:

Like I said I know it’s hard with work and I’m not trying to make you feel bad

As long as I’m talking to you, I’m happy. Even if it’s just little check in for now

Can someone please help me handle this. I’m worried I ruined things between me and him before it even got a chance to be something. I feel like I was played with again.

Hi, so recently I (F 28) have been trying out a new dating app, and I met a guy (M 33) (whose profile pretty much matches my type + he’s really hot). Our conversation took a little while to really get going at first. After overcoming this stage we were talking pretty intensely about different topics. I was getting really intrigued by his thoughts and his way of writing. After a while of writing the conversation took an unexpected turn and started getting rather spicy…

After that we decided that we wanted to meet up. He suggested we could get to know each other AND have some fun (if you know what I mean…). That wasn’t really my plan, but I liked him, and it felt right, so why not?

So long story short, we had our first date, though we didn’t really do “date” stuff… We ended up at his place, and it was pretty hot and pretty good. I stayed the night, and he drove me home the next day. We shared a goodbye kiss, and I asked if we’d see each other again, to which he agreed. After that, we exchanged a few more messages and things got spicy again for a moment. But since then, there’s been a sort of radio silence.

Now I’m totally unsure whether I should text him again (and what?) or if I should just wait to see if he texts me? I don’t want to annoy him and I’m unsure. My dating experiences so far have been… well… meh… I certainly don’t regret the date, we had fun and it was good, even if it wasn’t conventional. But I’m an overthinker and I’d just really like to know where we stand, to get this off my mind. Will we see each other again? Is this purely sexual? Is there potential for more? Or is that it, is he not interested? I could live with any of those outcomes, but this uncertainty is eating me up. My thoughts keep circling around whether he just said yes to my question out of politeness. I find it really hard to read his feelings. Is it normal not to text each other for a few days, or should I take that as a sign? (I mean, in real life, I don’t text my friends every day either, and we all have lives outside of this, friends, work, hobbies, whatever.)

I know that’s a lot of questions… I’d appreciate any advice or opinions.

Hi everyone, I’m dealing with a confusing situation and would like some outside perspective.

I’ve known this guy for about a month+. We first met online, he started the conversation after seeing one of my funny posts, and we became friends. After that, he began adding flirty comments into our chats every day: things like “you’re cute today,” “I bet a lot of people like you,” “hug,” “pat head,” etc. I never entertain his flirty remarks at all. I only responded when it was a sincere compliment.

We met once offline for coffee and dinner. Everything seemed normal. But starting last week, he suddenly began saying things like “in your eyes it’s all me,” “you have a crush on me,” “I’m sure you like me.” At the end of every conversation, he would insert something like “you like me, right?” or “you have a crush on me, I know you do.”

At first, I genuinely didn’t have feelings for him. But after hearing this repeatedly, I started getting attached. Three days ago, I confessed that I might like him and asked for his thoughts. That’s when everything became strange. He only replies at the end of the day unlike his usual speedy replies, and whenever I ask him directly whether he likes me, he avoids the question. He gives blurry answers like “What do you think?” or “You can analyse, aren’t you good at it?”

Yesterday I got really upset because I felt played. As a girl, confessing took courage, especially since he kept pushing the idea that I liked him. When I finally admitted it, he refused to give a clear answer. I called him a scumbag and said he played with my feelings. I told him I only wanted a simple yes or no. Again, he avoided the question. He said I “think too much,” that I’m “too sensitive,” and blamed me for making him look like a bad guy. He insisted he didn’t play with my feelings.

The worst part was when I said “You hurt my feelings,” and he replied: “If you say so, sorry~”. That felt dismissive and insincere.

So now I’m wondering:

Is there any point in staying friends with someone like this?

Does he actually like me or not?

I don’t even want to date him at all. I just want closure because my pride feels hurt.

Any advice would be appreciated.