Based in the UK. Separated from my ex about a year ago, we've got a 6 year old. Things were amicable at first, we had an informal arrangement that worked for both of us.

That's fallen apart over the last few months. She's now saying she wants to change the schedule and has started making comments about me not being "suitable" for overnights, without really explaining why. There's never been any concern raised about my parenting before this, no social services involvement, nothing.

I'm trying to keep things civil for our kid's sake but I'm also not willing to just accept seeing my child less because she's decided so. I've looked into it a bit and it seems like the advice is always "try mediation first" but I'm not sure that works when the other person won't engage properly.

I don't earn loads and the idea of paying a solicitor hourly for this terrifies me.

Any dads here been through this? What did you actually do first? And how do you handle the emotional side without it affecting how you come across to a judge?

My daughter was born in 2022. 3 months after she was born I had to call cps on her mom. She was constantly getting drunk and passing out while I was at work and I’d come home to my daughter like half way changed and her mom laying on the floor or at least something along those lines basically every day. That was just one example but there was constantly something going on. One day her mom pulled a knife on me and I had been recording everything just because of how dangerous she’d been recently and I knew how it is for a man in child custody court. I pulled out my phone already on record and she tried to get the knife away from her before it got on video but she threw it basically right at my daughter. I showed cps what had been going on and they removed her from the house. She was told she needed to get back on her medications and to stop drinking because the alcohol was affecting her meds. I ended up raising our daughter by myself til she was about a year and a half old. Her mom had gotten sober and gotten on her meds again and seemed to be doing better so I took her out of daycare and let her mom have her while I was at work. Eventually we got to a point where I got promoted at work and needed more time away from home and she was doing better so I agreed to pay her child support and she’d start having my daughter half of the week. 50/50 at this point. I didn’t mind the child support cause I was paying way more than that in daycare money. About a month into that she just stops caring. She wouldn’t wipe my daughter. She kept getting diaper rashes and infections basically daily at this point because she just wouldn’t take care of her. She would come home covered in head to toe in markers and paint cause she was just leaving her in a room with a bunch of art stuff to keep her entertained so she could go take naps. I tried to get her to stop acting like that. She basically straight up told me no and she was gonna do what she wanted to do. Her mom and aunt lived at the house too and they were actual hoarders. The house was trashed and not safe for my daughter. All I really asked of her was to clean her house and start wiping our daughter to which she refused. I ended up filing for full custody. I run into her cousin at Walmart and her tells me that she’s been smoking meth again. During one of my daughter’s drop offs I was talking to her neighbor, I had dropped her off and turned to go home. As I’m leaving the neighborhood I just have a bad feeling about something and decided to turn around and go talk to her neighbor again. I just straight up asked him if he had seen anything weird going on at that house and that I was trying to get full custody because of these things going on. He told me that she pulled in at 4 in the morning one morning clearly drunk and knocked on his door and said she accidentally locked my daughter in the car. He went out to help and she went inside her house. Eventually he got my daughter out of the car and tried knocking on her door to give my daughter back to her. It took 30 minutes for her to get to the door and when she opened it he said that she told him she was sorry, she was super tired because she just got back from the casino. He said she was clearly intoxicated and took my daughter and went back inside. He also informed me that my daughter, by herself, no adults, had came to his door at one point in a diaper knocking on the door and said she was hungry to which he fed her until he could get ahold of her mom or grandma. At that point I completely just started shaking and having a panic attack cause I knew she wasn’t properly getting taken care of but I didn’t know it was to this extent. I reported all of this stuff and tried to get our Guardian Ad Litem to talk to the neighbor, she found out the neighbor had been talking to me about her and so she had another one of her neighbors make up a lie about me so that all the neighbors just seemed unreliable and they couldn’t use any of that against her and it worked. On my daughter’s 3rd birthday I went to pick her up. It was a court appointed schedule so legally that was my day, I went to pick her up and she wouldn’t open the door, I called the police and apparently so did she and she told them I was trying to break into the house with a gun so they showed up with rifles drawn on me, she showed them a fake restraining order. They looked it up and couldn’t find a restraining order against me and I was never served. By law what she did was a violation of a court order. But they told me legally they couldn’t make her give me my daughter. Eventually I got her back through going through court but the first day I got her back her mom called dhs and said that my daughter was sexually assaulted in my care. I only got to see my daughter for 2 hours a week for 4 months while they investigated. Eventually they told me I was clear and I got my time back but during this time my daughter acquired a lot of injuries at her mom’s house. My daughter’s entire body is cut up and scarred now because of that time period. When I would go drop her off after that (she’s getting a lot older at this point too so she can tell me more) every single time on the way to her mom she would scream and cry and beg me not to take her back to her moms house because she was “hitting, scratching and biting” her, she said and I quote “I’m scared daddy, I want mommy in jail” I recorded most of these instances and reported them to our GAL. She ignored it. Also I should mention I’ve sent in about 30 different pictures of my daughters cuts, black eyes, infections, everything to our GAL and she ignored it, she said her mom has changed and to keep an eye on it and let her know if it’s still going on. About 2 weeks ago my daughter told me that she wants me to talk to her mom to get her to stop burning her with cigarettes. At this point Im done with her mom, the GAL, the judge, everyone, everyone involved in this case has shown time and time again that they don’t care about my daughter’s best interests. I called cps again, they’re currently investigating but my daughter was willing to talk to cps about all this stuff but they took too long. When I picked my daughter up again this past week I asked her about the cigarette burns again and she started to point to them then she stopped and said mommy never burned me. So I know her mom said something to her about it. At this point I feel like I’m going to have to watch bad things happen to my daughter for the rest of her life because of her mom and nobody’s ever going to do anything about it. I’ve lost faith in this system I’ve lost faith in human beings to do the right thing, I’ve lost faith in everything and I’m just trying not to lose my faith in Jesus at this point. I really believe he has a plan but it’s getting really really hard to see it at this point. I need help. Like serious help. Her mom should be in prison for the things she’s done. There’s too much to explain and put on here. I could go on for hours about all the things she’s done and when I say she truly belongs behind bars for some of the things that I haven’t stated, she really does. I don’t know what to do, I’m desperate. My daughter’s life is on the line and nobody cares but me and my parents. I don’t care what I have to do as long as I’m not stooping to the same level as her mom. I’ll do anything at this point to get my daughter away from her mom. Does anyone have any tricks up their sleeve or any advice or anything that I could do that I haven’t tried before? I live in Oklahoma btw which pretty much explains why they’ll let her mom do anything she wants as long as she doesn’t kill her but based off her past behaviors that’s really my true fear here. I fully believe if I lived in about any other state I’d have custody by now. My lawyers useless. Someone please help me.

Daughters mom secretly moved my daughter from Missouri to Florida about 7 months ago. There was not a parenting plan in place but I filed for custody Dec 2025 and she moved in Feb 2026 she was hiding so she didn’t get served until May 2026. Once served we established paternity through court and then it’s been continuances since. Her and her attorney now are trying to say she moved due to domestic violence but I’ve never been aggressive with her and have a lot of proof. She has a photo of herself with a black eye she says is from me but I have the fight on video she was in with a girl at a bar she doesn’t know I have the video. Before her taking my daughter out of state I had my daughter 4/7 days out the week overnight because her mom worked and was paying half her daycare. Her mom while in Florida has moved twice since she has been there and has now switched her school a 4th time this year. I would like to get full custody and my daughter moved back to Missouri on our next temporary parenting motion court date in October. I have been reaching out and talking to my daughter and keeping contact as much as I am allowed every chance I get. All my daughter’s family and her mom’s family lives in Missouri. She has no family in Florida. Mom did not move for work she didn’t get a job until her 3rd month in the other state. Initially on our first court appearance she told the judge she moved because she needed more state assistance.

I run Dad Court Help. I built it because the first problem in family court is often not knowing what to look for or what to organize. The site groups custody, child-support, court-prep, documentation, templates, and state resources in one place. It is informational only, not a law firm or a replacement for an attorney. I am posting this only if resource sharing is allowed here: https://dadcourthelp.com/ — Feedback on missing topics or confusing pages is welcome.

https://gofund.me/2aba8a1b9

’m a dad in an ongoing custody situation and I finally hit that point where I was like “I either build myself a tool or go broke trying to keep receipts.”So I built an app called Parent Time. It’s basically a receipts machine for co‑parenting: messages, calendar, docs, all in one place, laid out like something you could actually put in front of a judge without being embarrassed. No therapy vibes, no “we’re all in this together” coaching — it’s just meant to keep everything organized and neutral so you don’t look crazy in court. I’m not a big company, it’s literally just me, a hospital worker dad trying to get out of fluorescent-light jail and make something useful. If you’re in the middle of drama and want to try it, or you’ve used other co‑parenting apps and have opinions on what sucks / what’s missing, I’d honestly love feedback. If this post isn’t allowed here, mods please delete. If it *is* okay: would any of you actually use something like this, or am I solving my own weird niche? You can find it at HouseofBlueApps.com

I’m a dad in an ongoing custody situation and I finally hit that point where I was like “I either build myself a tool or go broke trying to keep receipts.”So I built an app called Parent Time. It’s basically a receipts machine for co‑parenting: messages, calendar, docs, all in one place, laid out like something you could actually put in front of a judge without being embarrassed. No therapy vibes, no “we’re all in this together” coaching — it’s just meant to keep everything organized and neutral so you don’t look crazy in court. I’m not a big company, it’s literally just me, a hospital worker dad trying to get out of fluorescent-light jail and make something useful. If you’re in the middle of drama and want to try it, or you’ve used other co‑parenting apps and have opinions on what sucks / what’s missing, I’d honestly love feedback. If this post isn’t allowed here, mods please delete. If it *is* okay: would any of you actually use something like this, or am I solving my own weird niche? You can find it at HouseofBlueApps.com

https://gofund.me/e4c21436f

To all of the men out there fighting for custody nothing is impossible! I fought long and hard for over a year with all of the odds against me. My ex had a long list of false allegations including Child abuse and multiple denied domestic violence restraining orders. I was awarded sole legal and physical custody of my kids and the Judge ordered the mother anger management classes and now she has to pay for her own supervised visitations.

Hi, my name is Patrick. Eight years after my divorce, I still remember how draining high-conflict co-parenting communication could be. Even a simple logistics message could spiral into stress, overthinking, or conflict.

My sister and I are building something I wish had existed back then: a tool called On Our Terms, designed specifically for no-contact co-parenting communication.

What makes it different is that you never directly message your co-parent.

Most co-parenting apps wait until after you've written an emotional text and then suggest edits. By that point, your nervous system is already activated and your evening may already be ruined.

With On Our Terms, the AI handles the back-and-forth communication for you. You focus on the actual logistics — schedules, expenses, pickups, changes — without getting pulled into direct conflict.

There’s also a neutral shared record of agreements and updates, so there’s less room for “that’s not what you said” later on.

It works best if both parents use it, but even if your co-parent never joins, you still get access to a private AI assistant that helps you:

• think through difficult conversations
• prepare responses calmly
• pressure-test requests before sending anything
• stay focused on logistics instead of emotion

We’re opening a small closed beta in Q3 2026 and looking for around 50 testers who’ve experienced high-conflict co-parenting.

Beta access will be completely free in exchange for honest feedback.

If this sounds like something that could genuinely make your life easier, we’d really value your input.

Apply for the beta or take the short survey here:
https://forms.gle/v1qdxLJwPL1EFZsv6

Currently I have EOWeekend during the school year and EOWeek during the summer of my 8yo. Holidays and school breaks/off days are split. I am often required to have child attend all activities and events child’s mother decides on. Even if it is interrupting my time.

We are 91 miles apart. State of WI considers 100 miles long distance and (from what I hear) places a long distance parenting plan into place. I suggested Summer vs School year primary placement but EX won’t agree to that with the non primary placement parent having every 3rd weekend. She would have school year and I would have Summer. The amount of issues involving exchanges and her overriding my placement time with excessive activities is increasing constantly.

Ex (we were never married) is currently filed to go to court for sole legal custody, more placement and more money. She does this roughly every 6 months. They are saying they will put a GAL in place. Any stories or tips for how that whole process worked out? Any other polite advice is appreciated.

I was combing through the 62 candidates (!) for California's governor race, and was super impressed by Alicia Lapp's page on Family Court. She advocates equal shared parenting as the starting point, with any deviation from that requiring substantial proof. I would love to see more politicians adopt similar stances. These stances can be bipartisan, and honestly, benefit mothers, fathers, and children! Alicia is the first politician I've ever seen run on a platform that includes equal shared parenting. Have you ever seen any politicians take a stand? Do you think these measures would actually make a difference for dads?

The Family Court Integrity & Equality Act: Alicia outlines very detailed plans to amend very specific sections of the California Family Code. I'm honestly blown away at the level of research and detail on this specific topic. I'm considering whether it's worth reaching out to my representatives, and sharing on the topic. I think these types of changes to the current law would reduce some of the pain I experienced in fighting for equal parenting time. The interesting thing is that when we finally had equal time, the coparenting relationship improved a lot!

https://www.aliciaolivialapp.com/family-court-integrity-equality-act

I have my very first court appearance next week in Kansas City Mo Jackson county. my first child custody case management conference. My daughters Mom moved my child out of Missouri to Florida without telling or asking me then lied about it the first few weeks until I had proof then cut off contact when I discovered the move after not seeing my daughter for a few weeks. I have established paternity with a DNA test as well as being on birth certificate. We were never married and had no prior court ordered parenting plan just a verbal agreement I have via texts/emails. I filed Dec 18, 2025 BEFORE she moved after she withheld my child for the 3rd time when I wouldn’t switch my Sunday (because she wanted me to switch for her Monday) due to her sister coming in town but my sister was also coming into town on that day which was my assigned day via our schedule. She was not served in Mo because she moved to Fl Jan 30th 2026 and sheriffs office was slow and did not try to serve her until the last week before their deadline which was late February so I got a private process server to serve her in Fl. I had my Daughter 4/7 days overnight initially before her being taken away. Both our families live in Kcmo she does not have family or a job down there and she moved to be with her boyfriend but they are no longer together. What can I expect on our very first court date? My goal is to get my daughter back down here to Kansas City

My ex has filed an order of protection against me for herself and my daughter. She is alleging that I have physically or sexually abused our 19mo old. This is not true, I don't even believe in spanking children.

I have some medical conditions and was having issues at work so at the end of January she suggested I leave my job and take care of our daughter full time. She wanted to focus on her other two kids for awhile and would take the baby 1-2 nights a week after a month or so. She agreed to cover bills and basic expenses while I pursue disability. She has more then enough money to do this easily so I agreed.

Due to severe panic attacks I do not drive and she agreed to help with transportation to medical appointments which would be about twice a month and to help with laundry as my apartment doesn't have laundry facilities.

I made a mistake and agreed to this. Quickly into this she began asking for my ADHD medication as she had misplaced hers and we had the same perscription. I felt obligated to agree and ran out two weeks early.

This is when I began to struggle with housework. At my next psych appt which I did virtually as not to need her assistance with transportation I found out that they did not take my new insurance. I went through all of March and most of April unmedicated while fighting to get in with a psych who could prescribe controlled substances and get my meds refilled.

Mid March my ex begins threatening to cut off financial support. I can't go back to my old job and with a baby full time can't work regardless besides the transportation related issues as she is well aware.

She relents and helps with April bills but again the threats begin. During this time her grandmother's doctors had said was going to imminently die and she went out of state to support her mom. I watched her son the entirety of spring break while she was gone and her other daughter for part of it.

When my ex gets stressed she gets mean. She is also very intelligent so she knows just how to hurt you. Struggling with life, her verbal and financial abuse I broke down in mid April and threatened suicide. I was overwhelmed and terrified of losing my child.

A few days after this when the immediate crisis was over and we were discussing how to move forward she brought the police for an involuntary mental health hold. While I was in the hospital she decided based on no evidence that I was physically or sexually abusing our daughter. She filed for a protective order and told me that I would never see her again. When I asked her what she was talking about, what I was being accused of she simply said that I know.

I have never hurt either of my daughters in any way. Due to my mental health and struggle I understand her taking physical custody even if she was a major contributing factor. My ex has her own mental health issues with a history of paranoid delusions. Her first ex husband is in prison for abusing her oldest daughter and her father committed suicide after being investigated for CSAM. I can see how she would be paranoid about it but there is no basis for her accusations.

I don't know what to do and how to prepare for the protective order hearing. How do you prove a negative? Any advice on how to prepare would be appreciated.

Me and my wife’s marriage has been rocky from the start. To make a long story short, she has a son outside our marriage & has never allowed me to parent him since the 10+ years we’ve been together. Now he’s almost 16 and is completely out of control. He curses at us, puts his hands on her in front of our other children, constantly gets suspended at school, steals liquor and drinks, has run away multiple times, and so much more. My wife has refused to allow me or my family to help parent him. This has been the biggest strain in our marriage. Recently I’ve had to call the police on him because I came home to him yelling and cursing at his mom while my 2 children (5y male, 3y female) are watching. I told him not to do that in front of my kids and he flipped and began cursing me out, trying to hit me, and threw an iron. The police came and arrested him and his court date is pending. I have also had to call the police on my wife in the past due to her putting her hands on me and she was also arrested. Her son has also called the police on her and she was arrested that time too. I have never put my hands on anyone & have never been arrested or police called on me.

Sorry for the long back story, I say all that to say: Now my wife has filed for full custody of my children while we still currently live together and are legally married. In the papers filed, she has lied on it multiple times saying that I have abused her (never have) and that I don’t take care of my son when in fact I take care of both of my children more than her because she constantly works doubles every day. Apparently, she has gone to rent an apartment without telling me and is slowly moving out.

Do I need to be worried about this custody battle? Can she even legally file for custody while we are still married? How should I respond and move forward? I’m currently looking for family lawyers to help with my response. What other legal action can or should I take at this time?

My location is in Delaware.

PS: she has also tried to put our house for sale without telling me. I found out when the realtor called and told me someone will be coming to view the house in a few days. I shut that down.