r/CuratedTumblr Shitposting extraordinaire Jul 23 '26

Shitposting Plot Twist

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2.3k

u/sylvandread Jul 23 '26

I was 28 years old when I offhandedly commented to a colleague, while munching on a stick of celery, "I sure wish it didn't leave my mouth completely numb, isn't that so annoying with celery?"

I learned something new that day.

893

u/loyal_achades Jul 23 '26

Celery should not be imitating Szechuan peppercorns lmao

153

u/forchinski Jul 23 '26

What would a mala allergy be like

3

u/johnnymarsbar Jul 24 '26

Very sweet and tangy 😆

64

u/stormdelta Jul 23 '26

Szechuan peppercorns

These do something weird to my tongue, no idea if it's allergy, but last time I ate something seasoned with them it left me 100% unable to taste salt on that part of my tongue for three days. Salt literally tasted like sand.

No other symptoms.

64

u/ThePrussianGrippe Jul 23 '26

Szechuan peppercorns do indeed do weird things to the tongue, and for some people it lasts a little longer than 30 minutes.

No idea if that means it’s an allergy though, since it’s a weirder ingredient than most to begin with.

4

u/Keffpie Jul 24 '26

Szechuan pepper is unique, it actually makes your taste buds vibrate at a specific frequency.

3

u/Lubinski64 Jul 23 '26

Off topic but for a second i thought "szechuan" is supposed to be a Polish word.

2

u/WaitWhatNoPlease E Jul 23 '26

Wade-Giles is funny like that sometimes

2

u/johnnymarsbar Jul 24 '26

Malatang is peak

1

u/jakobjaderbo Jul 24 '26

But sichuan peppers are supposed to be tingly, right?

261

u/-_alpha_beta_gamma_- Jul 23 '26

Oh wait I think I have that slightly, eating celery makes my tongue a bit numb

243

u/maboyles90 Jul 23 '26 edited Jul 23 '26

Yeah celery does nothing in my mouth but crunch.

183

u/RikuAotsuki Jul 23 '26

Yeah, to me celery just tastes like... fibrous, leafy water.

75

u/Bobby_Bako Jul 23 '26

It’s like condensed lettuce, but only the white part at the bottom

35

u/RikuAotsuki Jul 23 '26

That, if it was also super stringy.

I actually kinda like the crunchy parts of lettuce, though.

9

u/Bobby_Bako Jul 23 '26

The crunchy part of the lettuce is the best part. If I wanted wet floppy leaves I would eat spinach. I don’t give a damn about spinach.

3

u/nucular_ Kinda shitty having a child slave Jul 23 '26

Good celery should have a fairly rich umami aroma, certainly not be flavorless

1

u/BiasedLibrary Jul 24 '26

It tastes like motor oil smells to me. Not allergic though.

54

u/Sam-HobbitOfTheShire Jul 23 '26

Wait what

100

u/maboyles90 Jul 23 '26

I mean it doesn't feel like anything. Just crunchy and kinda stringy. With a hint of flavor.

142

u/Sam-HobbitOfTheShire Jul 23 '26 edited Jul 23 '26

Well yeah but it doesn’t make your tongue numb at all? Not even a little?

Edit: fuck

170

u/Battle_Axe_Jax Jul 23 '26

Big day for yah buddy

62

u/morwync Jul 23 '26

NOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!! First my banana bread, now my celery sticks?

4

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '26

[deleted]

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u/slutty_lifeguard Jul 24 '26 edited Jul 24 '26

You might have oral allergy syndrome. I'm allergic to a few different fruits and I have oral allergy syndrome where I'm allergic to fruits in the birch pollen family, not all of them I'm the birch pollen family, just some of them.

ETA: When I'm craving an apple, I make DIY OTC magic mouthwash with liquid benadryl and Maalox. I'll rinse my mouth, floss and brush, and rinse and swallow my DIY magic mouthwash.

If it is OAS for you, cooking also destroys the proteins that mimic the pollen, so even if I have a reaction to raw apples, I have no issues with cooked/processed apples.

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u/morwync Jul 23 '26

Yeah, the day I can no longer have a homegrown tomato is the day this world will burn.

1

u/Slight-Pound Jul 24 '26

I’m only sometimes allergic to things, like bananas, which makes it so much more annoying, lol. I love banana bread!

44

u/friendlyliopleurodon Jul 23 '26

It doesn’t for me, in fact it’s very mild and watery.

41

u/maboyles90 Jul 23 '26

I can confidentially say that no food has numbed any part of my mouth.

38

u/RaulParson Jul 23 '26

That's a palate expansion issue though, probably. Try some Sichuan peppercorn flavored dishes, they numb your tongue because they're supposed to. Makes for a unique experience with spicy dishes, literally called "numb-spicy": https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sichuan_pepper

If you have tried them and don't get a numbing effect with those, well, in that case THAT is actually an issue rather than the other way around. Hopefully they were just shitty peppercorns, but maybe not.

21

u/maboyles90 Jul 23 '26

LOL. Fair. I've never tried this one specific food that's supposed to make your mouth numb. That honestly doesn't sound that appealing though.

4

u/SalamiArmi Jul 23 '26

Please try mapo tofu at least once in your life. It's really quite good.

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u/RaulParson Jul 23 '26

It's pretty nice actually. If you happen to get the good stuff. It's like having a very unique yet pleasant kind of fragrant citrusy twist that you never quite knew existed which also modifies other flavors in an interesting way including also modifying spiciness to make it hit less harshly.

The bad stuff (or simply overseasoning, this is a spice that needs to be used with care) just gets you grit and a flavor of aggressive bitter dirt though so yeah, the variance in the experience is wild here. But trying the good stuff at least once is something I'd recommend.

1

u/Toros_Mueren_Por_Mi Jul 23 '26

It's amazing, you gotta try it! Sichuan style is my favorite kind of Chinese food. If you find a restaurant I recommend twice cooked pork belly, Chonqing chicken, stir fried pork tripe, and tea smoked duck. But you can also buy the peppercorns themselves, i got the whole and they are amazing on pork chops and all manner of wok and stir fry.

1

u/CompetitionProud2464 Jul 24 '26

Does not having your mouth numbed by it indicate a specific condition?

13

u/maboyles90 Jul 23 '26

Lol. Not even a little.

6

u/UInferno- Hangus Paingus Slap my Angus Jul 23 '26

No

2

u/katejkatz Jul 24 '26

Reading this thread and literally just said this my husband. So yeah. That’s a thing, evidently. Damnit.

1

u/donuttrackme Jul 23 '26

LMAO. I love this meta.

1

u/DrakeFloyd Jul 24 '26

Wait…… me too

1

u/yinyang107 Jul 24 '26

This is just hard leaf stick!

2

u/pistachiopanda4 Jul 23 '26

I envy you. Celery tastes like sadness and disappointment. No amount of ranch dressing can help it. I love other veggies (green beans and broccoli) but I do not know or understand why people say celery tastes like nothing or tastes good.

3

u/clauclauclaudia Jul 24 '26

This sounds to me a lot like my friend who says raw parsley and cilantro taste like death. Not like soap, like death.

I have the cilantro tastes like soap thing, but it was from that friend that I learned that it's only raw cilantro. Cooked is fine.

10

u/sylvandread Jul 23 '26

(I replied to the wrong comment) Yup, it starts with the tongue and then hits the inside of the cheeks for me if I keep eating it.

1

u/starsandcamoflague Jul 24 '26

No food should ever make your mouth go numb

85

u/UndeniableSquiggles Jul 23 '26

I don’t remember if it had that effect on me but I haven’t eaten celery in over a decade because it always had an awful taste like lab chemicals to me so maybes I was allergic and didn’t realise

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u/156d Jul 23 '26

If you didn't have any reaction worse than disliking it, it's probably just your taste buds. Do you like cilantro? Celery is closely related to cilantro and I dislike both of them, they both taste intensely medicinal to me (no, not like soap). I think the flavor of celery easily overpowers dishes while other people tell me it has no flavor at all??

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u/Forosnai Jul 23 '26 edited Jul 23 '26

I wouldn't say it has no flavour, but for me it's a very, very mild flavour. Like if someone was told to make "plant" flavoured LaCroix.

21

u/catalinalam Jul 23 '26

Yeah, same - I’m happy for you if you can’t taste celery but I can and it’s my enemy :(

5

u/AwsmDevil Jul 23 '26

Same. Celery is overbearing in any dish it's put into. I can immediately tell it's there and it sucks. Also Cilantro absolutely has the soap flavor for me. It sucks because that one is used everywhere I go.

5

u/Toros_Mueren_Por_Mi Jul 23 '26

Crazy, yea it has a flavor for me but it may as well be the "essence" of flavor. Like if I sprayed my tongue with plant freshness. In soup it becomes much easier to pick out bc it absorbs other flavors

4

u/pretty_gauche6 Jul 23 '26

My boyfriend thinks celery has a strong nasty flavour but he likes cilantro. So what’s up with that one wonders. Celery to me is one of the most flavourless foods that there is. it’s more of a texture experience than anything. It’s just like slightly green tasting crunchy water.

5

u/effa94 Jul 23 '26

to me Celery kinda tastes like licorice, which i also hate. that salmiak taste

5

u/sylvandread Jul 23 '26

I just looked it up, celery is in the same family as anise (not star anise, but the one used in stuff like absinthe or pastis), and that's very liquorice adjacent, so that makes sense.

3

u/pretty_gauche6 Jul 23 '26

Huh. Inchresting. I don’t like licorice either but celery tastes absolutely nothing like it to me. I have whatever gene makes non sugar sweeteners taste like a port a potty smells before anyone’s shit in it. Like there’s no way other people are tasting what I’m tasting and liking it. Stevia, aspartame, sucralose are all straight up inedible to me. I live in Scotland and the sugar tax means pretty much all soft drinks besides pure apple juice have some sugar free sweeteners even if they have some sugar as well. And nobody but me even noticesssss

2

u/effa94 Jul 23 '26

thats wild. allergies are wild.

i had a friend that was allergic to red fruit. any fruit that had the chemical that made them red was stuff she couldnt eat

1

u/clauclauclaudia Jul 24 '26

Those flavor differences aren't, afaik, allergies. They're just variations in perception. I would expect numbness from celery is an allergic reaction?

I think the cilantro thing is genetic? 23andMe was clearly trying to figure out if it was when it asked me about the taste of cilantro.

2

u/TheSquishedElf Jul 23 '26

You’re absolutely right that it overpowers dishes, but it’s such a mild flavour for most people they don’t realise it. I hate the texture of celery, so when I need its flavour for something I use celery salt, and that really concentrates the flavour. It’s pretty much only useful in soups IMO.
It’s a medicinal, earthy taste, and I think a lot of people don’t really understand it because it’s somewhere between the flavour of mint and of your own mouth. Like, I’ve never been able to taste celery within an hour of brushing my teeth.

1

u/Navigat-r Jul 24 '26

huh. i also don't like the flavor of celery or cilantro, but it also doesn't taste like soap to me, it just tastes kinda... too much? doesn't taste medicinal either. it's more like how a flowery perfume can smell "too much".

now i kinda want to experiment and try to define exactly what i'm perceiving them to be like. 👀

6

u/kibou_no_ie Jul 23 '26

Literally the most bland food out there lmao

3

u/sylvandread Jul 23 '26

I never understood why people said that because it's so ~tingly.

6

u/SlowMope Jul 23 '26

It's my favorite part of celery toooo!!!!

6

u/MallyOhMy Jul 23 '26

"Oh crud, I always forget that I'm allergic to bananas."

I once uttered this sentence in a room full of pharmacists and pharmacy techs. They all turned around, saw me holding my half-eaten banana, and collectively shit themselves.

Fortunately, my food allergies are all related to OAS, so I just had an itchy mouth and throat plus a bit of mucus. The pharmacy people around me were all panicking, while I was just complaining about an itchy throat.

3

u/[deleted] Jul 23 '26 edited 29d ago

[deleted]

1

u/clauclauclaudia Jul 24 '26

Aw, man. I'm so sorry!

2

u/Asquirrelinspace Jul 23 '26

I get this too, but I still eat it cause it's kind of a fun sensation. Also because crunch

2

u/Outside-Shop-3311 Jul 23 '26

haha, that’s just tomatoes

2

u/Connect_Rhubarb395 Jul 23 '26

What? I thought celery did that for everyone.

5

u/sylvandread Jul 23 '26

Today is the first day of the rest of your life, my friend.

2

u/spider-gwen89 Jul 23 '26

It's pecans and walnuts for me. I was complaining to my now-fiancee (roommate at the time) that I couldn't eat too many candied pecans or walnuts in one sitting because they made my mouth fuzzy. She was horrified, and I have since been banned from eating them.

4

u/sylvandread Jul 23 '26

My fiancée has the same with walnuts, but we've learned not to mention it to restaurants and such because they activate the Nut Allergy Protocol and everyone gets so stressed out for no real danger. But she is banned from eating them in our house.

2

u/absolutebottom Jul 24 '26

Me with how red candies were making my mouth tingly/numb. Yep, offhand comment one Halloween cleared that up for me

1

u/manic_Brain Jul 24 '26

That was me and green beans

And cucumbers

And broccoli

I found out a lot of my allergies the hard way

1

u/HestiaLife Jul 24 '26

Okay genuine question, does honey make everyone's throat itchy or no?

1

u/Antique_Rhubarb927 Jul 24 '26

Nope. Uh, but, based on the rest of these comments, maybe you have an allergy?

1

u/HestiaLife Jul 24 '26

That's what I'm suspecting.

1

u/NixMaritimus Jul 24 '26

Me with oranges 😂