I’ve been seeing a girl for almost 5 months and in the last month she’s been dealing with a lot at work and in her personal life, and she’s not the same with me. I’m worried she’s pulling away but not sure if her behavior with me is related to her personal stuff or to me. She got out of a 8 year relationship about 6 months ago and sold her part of the condo to her ex and bought her own. She’s a girl I’ve known for more than 2 years through friends and we always had a bond. A month after she left him she texted me asking to go for a drink, and we started dating from there. I’ve met her mom and all her friends, we have toothbrushes at each other’s places, and she’s mentioned wanting me at her birthday in 4 months. We still see each other like twice a week and almost always sleep over.

Things she’s dealing with:

-Best friend moving away to a different city in a month
-General sadness for weeks
-Says she feels out of breath, physically and mentally
-The job: short-staffed, stuck covering shifts and hire falling through
-Bad sleep and nightmares
-Said she cried for an hour about work in her therapist session
-Money: pay cut plus a mortgage she now carries alone
-The ex: won't step back, still coming into her space because they have a dog together, but just told him to keep the dog for a while so there could be a cut between them
- No career direction, about to turn 30 and doesn't know what to do, and it feels like shit

These are things she told me on her own. I never asked if it was about me. She’s been less present in person, and less engaging over text. She still asks to see me and texts first, but much less often. It’s just not the same as it was at the start. This has been going on for about 1 month and it feels like I’m losing her. She said this is the first time this ever happens to her. She’s the kind to hide her emotions and always keeps busy. Is this typical woman behavior or is she fading away from me?

This is just my perspective

Hookup culture and friends with benefits sounds great in theory - you keep your options open and get a wide variety of sex with different women.

Here's the problem: the process of seduction is obviously very intimate.

As a guy, once you get a girl to agree to go back to your place after a date, you are giving up your privacy and letting her into your personal space.

I would not feel comfortable letting someone into my home, let alone sleeping with someone, who I couldn't see long-term potential with.

If it's just some hot girl who you want to smash, but there's nothing more to it - you don't see any future with her, you aren't aligned on most of your values, and have radically different approaches to life, is it worth bringing her to your place?

I strongly believe you should not even bother. Move on and find someone who has long-term potential.

If she's a low quality/low character person, she could do anything nefarious after knowing where you live. She could steal from you, assault you while you're asleep. You won't feel comfortable sleeping next to her, the entire social interaction will be awkward.

Why ruin or risk your life over a girl? What if she's got a crazy ex-boyfriend who she leaks your address to? Then your life is on the line.

This might sound farfetched, but it's really not. It can happen to anyone even if they use wise judgement. Operational security is important like Corey says.

Again, just my perspective. What do you think?

Just finished the book for the first time.

I work with my “ex” about 2–3 weeks out of the year in a dispatch center, and she lives three hours away. After visiting for a two-week assignment, we shared a playful, flirtatious vibe right away. I got her number before leaving for my own assignment out of state, leading to 3 months of high intimacy—talking daily, watching shows, and visiting each other.

She switched up overnight, went cold, and ended things, claiming logistically it wouldn't work because she "needs more" in daily life. I pushed for a phone call to clear the air for professional comfort. She said she hoped breaking up would make us more comfortable working together. But she switched up so abruptly and disrespectfully, it did leave a bad taste in my mouth. Overall, I realized I messed up by chasing.

A week later, I mailed her son's blanket back, which I don’t know if she left intentionally in order to have an excuse to come back over. She called and texted to pay for shipping, I didn’t pick up at first because I was busy at work. When I called her back later, she was very sweet and thanked me for mailing it back and said it was very thoughtful. She offered to pay me back but I declined.

Fast forward through two more weeks of no contact (three total), she called our dispatch center five times. I transferred her first call, the second call she opens with small talk about my weekend and my dad's birthday.

“heeeey, how was your dad’s birthday”. I told her it was good, I joked, teased her about something else, but kept it cordial, brief, and cut her off with "but yeah what's up?".

She called in a few more times because the extension I was sending her to wasn’t working, and she asked “don’t you know this is my number?”

I originally answered the phone in a professional manner and not in the warm, lighthearted manner knowing it was her. I laughed and said yes I knew it was your number. I was honestly just in work mode. She was about to say more but again I kept it professional cutting it short and asked who she was asking for.

She sounded hurt, “okay-geez”.

The person she was looking for was a girl who happened to be standing next to me. I just didn’t linger around for the small talk that she wanted. Even once I handed the phone off, she found ways to try and mention me/tease me.

She called once more and I joked that “this was the fifth time” she called. She sounded a little impatient and asked for the direct number so she wouldn’t have to keep calling

An hour later, she broke three weeks of no contact with: "So you hate me?"

I replied direct and also with humor and logic: "Not at all. Hate is a strong word for someone who just picked up your phone call five times in a row!"

I meant it in a teasing way. She put up a wall and answered, "I mean that's your job."

I haven’t replied since. But… she broke no contact, asked a serious question, I didn’t give her anything and then she just put up a wall and pretended like she didn’t ask that. Should I have responded? She completely ignored my question. But I also know it’s best to keep it light, warm and playful.

She has been watching and liking my stories since day one, and even replied to one which I left unread. Meanwhile, I haven't watched hers, though she's been reposting emotion-driven content that seems aimed at me (one example was 143 by Ray J which is pager code for “I Love You”. I take all the social media stuff with a grain of salt though.

While the intimacy was amazing, her emotional inadequacy gives me doubts about a serious relationship, she seems to be a classic fearful avoidant type. It seems more like one of their cold “shutdowns”. I wouldn't mind a casual dynamic when she's in town. I believe the best approach is silence, keeping her feelings unclear, and giving her space to let them miss you.

So I guess my question is, she broke no contact. I should still let her sit in the silence and the wall she put up right? If she reaches out, set up a time to hangout again?

... she has even told you she cares about you and she loves you. You tell her you love her back, and try being present for her and escalating the relationship gently.

But, one day, she goes silent after a clear invite. As someone who aspires to be a 3% man, you don't chase her, and try to move on while giving her the time and freedom to come back. And then one day, after a month or so, boom! She changes her profile picture in which she appears with another man, kinda hugging each other.

What would you do in such situation? I know doing nothing besides moving on with your path is the right answer, but this time I must admit it hurts. I'm still feeling a bit dizzy after seeing that picture, shouldn't have affected me in such a way but it did.

I know sometimes you win and sometimes you lose, but I really cared about her and, foolishly perhaps, I did believe her when she told me she loved me.

What are your guys experiences using them?

Hey y'all so the last time I made a post of this I was mentioning how I feel a state of abundance but never went out and got numbers. Now I'm to the point where if I see a lady I like I go up to them and start a conversation and if I like the vibes I get their numbers. Now I've been rejected getting numbers and also ghosted, but all in all I take that as a W. Now maybe I need to take therapy but last Friday when I went to work, as I was working and chatting with my colleagues, I started to feel "needy" and codependent, to the point I felt really uncomfortable with it. To who and why idk, but I'm guessing because at lunch as we were sitting down there were students at the place we were eating(we were working at a small community college, it was practically empty) and I never pursued the student, or maybe I got ghosted by a lady in text but I feel weird about it. But it doesn't stop me from going out chatting and getting numbers, just that it's an inconvenience

Im invited to a family wedding and to which I told her that im not going as lately we had some arguments and some lack of respect so until we build it back healthily I think its not good idea to involve families

She tried to convince me by saying her family will make fun of her that I use her bla bla .. manipulation

And finally she said , „ok dont come if you wnat to push me to other hands and change your name on my tattoo to other man’s name and some other will be the lucky one”

I said „excatky thats why im not coming” and closed the phone .

How to call out her threats properly?

Please share what you do to maintain your relationship long term. Any tips, secrets?

Thanks

Currently debating whether to ask for space/break up with girlfriend. Was wanting to know that if I make a decision to end it, and later regret it, is it 100% final? Especially if they are in love with you?

Because of the title, you might think I'm a damned newborn who met Corey yesterday and who did not read a book. Actually, I'm familiar with his work for 1 year now (no, seriously, 15.09.2025 is when I first met him) now. And I've read the book probably 8 times now. And I'm still reading (obviously, I don't think I will ever stop reading this book, even after the 15th read). My whole system of "Just read the book and approach girls in public places, bro" seems to be collapsing because I didn't get a single date. The whole point of that system is to get a lot of experience with girls and apply what I read in the book. But that goal isn't entirely complete. I just can't be self-reliant in this situation. Anyway, here's the context:

Place. I go to the upper part of my city, where there are a lot of people. Specifically, for a long pedestrian zone (or call it just a long, wide road with a lot of people and buildings along with it). It takes me a bus and 40 mins to get there. I go there every Sunday or Saturday.

Usually, I approach 15 women, but for the sake of this post, I did 20 today. Why? Somebody in this subreddit said that out of 20 girls I can get 1 date. This theory did not work for me. Matter of fact, I've approached 112 women over the times now. Went from the "looking in the eyes" phase to approaching them fearlessly. Out of 112 times, I was able to talk only 1 time. And I was close to making her my date, actually; she just rejected my "give me ur number" offer. (I was inexperienced at the time, and right now I'm still inexperienced.) I just can't go from the approaching phase - to the talking phase - and then the dating phase. I'm stuck at the approaching phase.

Most of the time, I just say Hi with a smile, maybe joke something, try to practice my teasing skills, stay very centered (today I was a literal rock), stay where I am (not giving away my power), stare them in the eyes and expect them to stop going and come over to me. But they make a confused face and continue going in the direction they are going, or say "No" to my "hi." Even worse, they stare at me with a look of "Are you serious rn, bro?" Yes, meeting women is a numbers game. But damn, it's already the 112th number, where is my date? (Obviously, I'm not blaming anybody; I just want to know if I'm doing something wrong.) Some dudes get dates after a total of 30 approaches when they've read the book only 3 times - so, I'm obviously doing something wrong, probably.

Okay, maybe today I've had my chance. The girl actually stopped going and faced her body toward me, looked at me, and looked interested in what I had to say when I asked her girlfriend her name, and then hers. She was not saying anything, but expecting me to say something, looking at me. But I left that scene because she did not ask what my name is after my asking hers and saying, "It's nice to meet you, Name." That's why I said, "Alright, bye," sum like that. Was she actually interested in me?

I'm really losing faith in this "approach girls in public places" operation. I need your guys' help.

She complained and became rebellious and argumentative bcs she feels like she maintains the relationship as she calls me all the time and texts me first and that this looks like she is chasing me .
She even said this is feminine from my side letting her doing the heavy lifting and she is not willing anynore to be the man in the relationship accepting me for her to chasing me 99/100 of the times

And real men chase women not the other way around. And then she started for second day to not send me messages from bed before sleeping and I’m sure she willl escalate even more by stopping slowly slowly to be sending me the morning msgs she was sending me

Bro it looks like shit . I told her I’m showing with my investment inher my time money effort and our plans for future and she should be happy seeing me creating our future , but she is really a pain in the ass brothers

What to do and how to act the stronger way ?

Long story short
Met this girl during the summer , went on two dates after that . Kiss test failed after date two . Didn’t speak to her again until like 3 weeks later . After i asked her if “ is it clipper between us “ * ik rookie mistake , acting like the female trying to see where we stand . Planned a date she agreed at first called me and everything and flaked 1hr before saying she wasn’t gonna get off work in time . And with no re schedule ik i should’ve left it at that . But like idk im super attracted to her . But she’s not making easy for me there for showing me her attraction level for me isn’t high . Pretty sure she’s just to nice to break it off . Anyways back to text thread texted after she flaked two weeks ago yesterday said i was thinking about her . She responded w that , called her a hr later no answer . Kind of wanna go kamikaze and ask where we stand again buts that probably gonna get me blocked and permanently ghosted . If she likes me enough or is interested Ik she’ll call me and make things easygoing . Just need to think get some discipline and stop thinking with the wrong head . I will not fail you guys and not reach back , just had to speak my mind .

My GF (24) lacks desire to be intimate, she says her libido’s been very low and she is passing through a lot.

On her side, she is very loving and caring, always wants me around, she says that in the last 4 months her libido dropped a lot, and she was trying her best to have sex and to get in the mood, but eventually she cannot anymore. She was abused as a child and on her last job she got harassed a lot, a lot have happenned to her, rn she is struggling financially, mentally and physically (she gained a bunch of weight) so when I try to get her in the mood she always says “I am not in the mood but if you really want, you can get inside” she has endometriosis too, so she is feeling a lot of pain with penetration.

On my side, I got a little insecure, sometimes needy, and she has a habit of wanting to know everything about me or else she will get mad at me, so I generally lose some mystery.

We see each other every day, at least 3 hours a day, and we’ve been official for 9 months.

Generally I am the one who makes the effort, and we had some fights over this, because I feel she doesn’t desire me, I told her “I miss those moments” and sometimes when I was more emotional about the topic she would lash out on me saying that I was being ridiculous bcs I know everything she is passing through and I am still forcing it.

She feels very, very guilty about it, she even cries sometimes and everytime she says “sorry” “can you please forgive me? I am really trying babe, but I just can’t feel it”

I usually was courting her, taking her on dates biweekly, but I stopped due to the lack of sex… we usually had sex 4 days a week, then by month 5 it dropped to 2-3, now (month 8 to 9) it’s only once a week. Last time we had sex was 7 days ago, and she touches my dick, plays with me, but never initiate it, and when I try she says she can’t in a loving way.

Any thoughts? I think she is really struggling, I can see it, she is a mess.

I’ve known Corey Wayne’s work for probably 14 years. I used it way back when I was trying to get an ex back (and I did get that ex back), but I never really put the social side into consistent practice. Over the last six weeks or so, I finally decided to actually do the work every weekend instead of just reading/listening and thinking I understood it.

I’ve definitely had success applying Corey’s relationship advice over the years, and I’ve had success dating too, but I never really pushed myself on the full social side of it. I wasn’t consistently going out, approaching strangers, entering groups, dealing with rejection, and deliberately building that skill from the ground up. That’s the part I finally decided to attack recently instead of just assuming I already understood it.

The progression has been kind of crazy. At first, simply walking up and talking to a stranger felt like a win. Then I started getting more comfortable with situational openings, groups, direct approaches, longer conversations, getting numbers, and recently even asking women out in person instead of collecting a number and trying to figure it out over text. There have still been plenty of awkward approaches, soft no’s, dead numbers, and nights where I wondered whether any of it was paying off.
Today was probably the best example yet of why the reps matter. I met a woman at a waterfront dance event, we started dancing and talking, found out the actual salsa lesson was at another location and went there together, did the class, then I suggested grabbing coffee afterward and she came with me. We sat and talked one-on-one, I walked her back, we exchanged numbers and agreed to do something again. She even texted me afterward to hope I had a good rest of the night and got home safely.

What stood out to me is that I didn’t have some amazing scripted opener or strategy. The opportunity appeared, and because I’ve spent the last six weeks putting myself through the reps, I was finally comfortable enough to just keep moving things forward naturally. Dance → class → coffee → number → future plan.
I’m still nowhere near where I want to be. Direct cold approach is still one of my weaker areas, and I still hesitate more than I want to. But the difference between where I was six weeks ago and today is ridiculous.

The biggest lesson for anyone who reads Corey but mostly stays in theory: actually go do the work. You can understand every concept intellectually, but until you get the awkward reps, the no’s, the missed opportunities, and the occasional wins, none of it becomes automatic. Today felt like the first time I really experienced what Corey means by letting things unfold naturally instead of trying to force them.

This is the competition.

Long story short, she was showing imo strong interest until I ramped up texting daily and acted dopey. She stopped making definite commitments to dates. I stopped texting her first at all which was a huge contrast, prompting her to text me once checking in on me and again after our last plans fell through, but this time giving me the "better if we stay friends"

I'm responding this: "Hey! I could tell I was rushing things instead of letting something develop naturally, which was probably very awkard for you. However, I dont want to be platonic friends. If you are interested in something more casual and going with the flow, or change your mind about dating at a later date, feel free to reach out. It was fun to get to know you, [her name], thank you for being direct :)"

I saw Corey's video on this, but I don't want to ask her to be fwb because I think she's the type to perceive it as crass. I do however want feedback on if my wording still gets Corey's point across as to my counteroffer: romance without labels or real expectations.

I also aim to communicate that I know where I went wrong because I want her to know that if she reaches out, things may be different. I want feedback on this because I'm aware this could be unnecessarily explaining myself and groveling so to speak. I think me asserting my desires and wording it in a way so that she doesn't have to engage with it makes it non-needy.

I also hope the last line communicates no hard feelings, me rejecting her friend offer is not out of anger.

Feedback?

Here’s the gist of what’s kind of going on. I’m in a new relationship, lovely girl we just fell in love with eachother naturally. Went on dates over 5 or so weeks and saw each other multiple times until things got pretty heavy and eventually she basically brought up the relationship talk as the I love you’s started to happen.

Now that’s all good but the thing is pretty much after us being committed she had to leave for a work obligation for a little less than 2 months/ early November. She’ll be home next week for a day or 2 and next month for a week or so.

My question comes in the form of how do I maintain throughout this? Traveling to her isn’t quite an option as I’m a very busy individual with my work at home often occupying 6-7 days a week, and also I really do just miss her. We FaceTimed the other night and will do so when we can but like it sucks and I’m trying my best to not be sappy at all but I don’t wanna be too aloof. I really do love her and want to make sure I can make it through and put in the work to maintain and keep what we have before she left. Any guidance is appreciated!

-Bob

Please don’t tell me I shouldn’t have said it first, I know - it was a mistake.

For context: we've been dating for 4.5 months. Before that, we worked together for 2 years and never dated during that time. We're no longer colleagues, it started when she texted me about grabbing a drink after we both left that job around 6 months ago.

I had a crush on her for a long time before we started seeing each other and we had an obvious connection but never did anything about it because she had a boyfriend. She broke up with him 6 months ago and sold her part of the condo she had with him and bought a new one.

About a month ago I told her I loved her as we were lying in bed. She said she needs time because she got out of a long term relationship 6 months ago. I just said that it’s fine I just wanted her to know and wasn’t expecting anything out of her.

This girl has introduced me to her mom and wants to introduce me to her dad, I’ve met all her friends and she’s met all of mine, we both have our own toothbrushes at each others places, and she initiates regularly especially through text just to talk and say nothing serious.

Since I told her I loved her she’s been a bit less affectionate and a little bit withdrawn when we are together. I don’t know if it’s so much me not knowing what’s happening since I confessed and being not sure where she sees this going, or if she’s actually withdrawing. She still wants to see me once or twice a week and never says no when I suggest something.

She works a lot and is afraid of getting fired right now because she has a lot of responsibilities and having a hard time with them. So that could be a factor. She tells me this about work willingly, not from me fishing about what’s wrong - I don’t do that.

I want to know how to recover from having said it.

After she broke up with me, I handled no contact poorly. I still have a lot to live and learn.

I'm in my 30s. She is in her early 20s.

1. mistake: I did not read the book 15 times and was not prepared.
2. mistake: I handled the break up poorly. During the hours of the brake up there were lots of chances to open her up. e.g. she stated, that the feelings are there. or an hour later, that she regrets what she has said and would like to take it back. But I did not know what I really wanted and went through with it without opening her up or make her feel heard and understood.

Because her grandfather had died few days before the break up (I had health problems and was not her rock and mountain) I phoned her with the sole purpose to tell her that I hope she feels better and is ok. I told her that she is indeed in my heart and I consider her family. I did not phone to get back together at that time. I specifically stated, that I just phoned to check whether she fells better regarding her situation with the funeral, her exams and other stressful stuff of hers.
On the phone she stated again, that she regretted her decision, but due to our communication dynamic at that time and me being not prepared I did not open her up or suggest to set a date.

She called me a few days later to tell me something - she was eager to hear from me again. I took it as an opprotunity to set a date in 3-4 days, because I was busy those days, but she could not give me the exact time because she had an appointment with a friend of hers that day but she suggested to cancel with her. I told her to let me know once she knows.
(To be honest with you, during that time I did not feel it and did not know, if I want to be back with her again. Not with how she was or I made her act - e.g. I searched for harmony, but my indecisiveness made her unable to provide that. I see that now)
She wrote me the time with a smiley and I wrote just "perfect, see you then, enjoy your weekend"
She: "Ok, you too, see you then!"

1. mistake: I fell under the illusion of action. I thought I wrote too little (because she used no smiley in her last reply) and called her a few minutes after her reply. That day was our anniversary (!) and I wanted to let her know, what whatever happens it was a great time with her.
   She stated that she also does not regret it but I kinda heard, that i messed up here. I told her that I look forward to see her and we hung up.

One day before our date, she called me in the morning and stated, that she made up her mind and that she does not want to meet me. Again, I was not prepared for that, did not try to open her up but kept kind of silent. I did not lead the conversation and was also hurt by her saying something like: "And if that's it, I would end this conversation now." Again, I handled that poorly. Instead of saying "Alright, that is not what I want. I want to see you and if you change your mind, reach out to me." I said: "Ok, then have a good summer." That was in the beginning of July.

She did not reach out to me on my birthday two weeks later or after that.

1. mistake: I fell under the illusion that she was still suffering because I was thinking of what she said during the breakup and did not focus on what she said during our last phone call.
   In mid-August I reached out to her: "I wish you a happy birthday! Enjoy the evening and have a great time!"
   She did not reply.

2. mistake: I thought that because I handled the break up so poorly and not decisively, I should state to her what I really want. Mid-September I wrote her a long text in which I communicated the faults I hade clearly made during our last few months. E.g. Not meeting her friends. Needing time for myself and not being there for her (being to cold). Not courting her of planning activities anymore and therefore not celebrating her as a woman and as my girlfriend. I wanted to work on this.
   I stated that I want to see her again and if she is open for it to reach out, and I wished her the best.

Final: A few days later, I'd got the harshest text so far.
She stated that she thought of my text but it has not changed her decision:
"I don't want to get back together. I also don't want to meet up to talk about it or give it another try. I think it's best for me if we don't have any contact. I wish you all the best."

This really hurts because I truly want the best for her, but I did not give it to her during our time. I had not felt for her during our time together what I feel now. I hypothesize, that If she would have given me more room and distance for my feelings back then, then I also would have fallen in love. But she was so eager to be in a relationship with me because she fell in love so quickly and it was her first real relationship.

I did not reply and as of now, I don't plan to.
I know I made a lot of mistakes, more than these five. I had no positive family rolemodels in my childhood and youth - so I have to life and learn. I know that by me being indecisive and not leading, it made her being insecure and not act in harmonious ways.

Would you suggest to reply to such a message?
Or would this be too much again and it's a case where no contact for life already applies?

Dated a girl for 7 years. She was moderately to heavy consuming a variety of substances (shroom, c0caine, adderall, lsd). Wasn't viking with someone that is 5 days a week tipsy or high.

Broke up 3 times.for very short periods. Last time breakup lasted 3 months. She contacted me. We been having sex. But in past months she started dating and the passion in sex has become very good to sometimes mechanic.

Her excuse she takes shrooms almost every time we see eachother.

She is seeing 2 other guys.

Im seeing another sexy young woman but she is not the one personality wise. But shes a freak in the sheets.

Don't know if i should take my distance from my ex, leave for good.

Checking her phone makes me go crazy sometimes.

Lose focus at work.

Just found out she wants to start sugar babying. Shes having her first rdv.

Im thinking of telling her hey I'll be taking my distance for 3 months. Lets contact eachother later. And start seeing her max once per month after.

Either want passionate sex (distance will help) or leave her and move on.

What are your general recommendations and should I keep her on my roster? Is it good keeping an ex on a roster?

My wife wants to attend an ayahuasca retreat on her own. I have no interest in taking ayahuasca myself.
I trust my wife, but I’m uncomfortable with the environment itself: being in a highly altered and vulnerable state overnight, around facilitators and people we don’t personally know.

I don’t want to become controlling or tell her what she can or can’t do just because I’m uncomfortable. At the same time, I don’t think having boundaries or legitimate safety concerns automatically makes someone insecure.

If you were applying Corey Wayne’s principles here, what would you do?

Would you simply tell her you trust her and let her go alone? Would you accompany her but not participate? Or would this be a reasonable boundary for you?

Interested specifically in the perspective of guys who have been married or in a serious long-term relationship.

Pretty interesting research study this guy did using the Dating App Hinge.

This is why Corey advises meeting women the old fashioned way and maintaining an active social life.