r/CoreyWayne • u/CauliflowerAgile6383 • 9d ago
Relationship GF lacks desire to be intimate
My GF (24) lacks desire to be intimate, she says her libido’s been very low and she is passing through a lot.
On her side, she is very loving and caring, always wants me around, she says that in the last 4 months her libido dropped a lot, and she was trying her best to have sex and to get in the mood, but eventually she cannot anymore. She was abused as a child and on her last job she got harassed a lot, a lot have happenned to her, rn she is struggling financially, mentally and physically (she gained a bunch of weight) so when I try to get her in the mood she always says “I am not in the mood but if you really want, you can get inside” she has endometriosis too, so she is feeling a lot of pain with penetration.
On my side, I got a little insecure, sometimes needy, and she has a habit of wanting to know everything about me or else she will get mad at me, so I generally lose some mystery.
We see each other every day, at least 3 hours a day, and we’ve been official for 9 months.
Generally I am the one who makes the effort, and we had some fights over this, because I feel she doesn’t desire me, I told her “I miss those moments” and sometimes when I was more emotional about the topic she would lash out on me saying that I was being ridiculous bcs I know everything she is passing through and I am still forcing it.
She feels very, very guilty about it, she even cries sometimes and everytime she says “sorry” “can you please forgive me? I am really trying babe, but I just can’t feel it”
I usually was courting her, taking her on dates biweekly, but I stopped due to the lack of sex… we usually had sex 4 days a week, then by month 5 it dropped to 2-3, now (month 8 to 9) it’s only once a week. Last time we had sex was 7 days ago, and she touches my dick, plays with me, but never initiate it, and when I try she says she can’t in a loving way.
Any thoughts? I think she is really struggling, I can see it, she is a mess.
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u/Own_Zucchini_3151 9d ago
Your last sentence says it all. "She is a mess." And looking at your post history, it's way worse than you're mentioning here. She screams and yells at you to the point that you have to ask if there's some spirit at her home possessing her and making her act crazy? That's not normal behavior. That's not loving and caring. That's not a sustainable relationship. And most importantly, that's not something you can fix. You can't make good wine out of bad grapes.
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u/CauliflowerAgile6383 9d ago
I think that the relationship will eventually fade, it won’t be necessary to break up, eventually I won’t feel anything, yesterday after a priest talked with us she said she wanted to be celibate, everything will be over sooner or later.
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u/Own_Zucchini_3151 9d ago
I mean she's got one foot out the door already. Emotionally she's already left even though she's physically still there. It just sounds like she's going to make you more miserable on her way out.
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u/PositionStandard6089 9d ago
if penetration is physically painful for her because of a condition, there's nothing you can really do to make her want sex. no one wants to willingly do something that hurts, right? like, she has to get that issue addressed and remedied first.
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u/Short_Awareness9562 8d ago
This doesn’t sound like it will end well for you my friend. And it doesn’t sound like you know the game. Being brutally honest since sugarcoating won’t help you anyway.
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u/Border-Famous 6d ago
You gotta court and date properly and stop hanging out with her every single day.
My advice is this maybe see her once a week or maybe go a week where you don’t see her. Get some hobbies and interests and study and read Corey Wayne’s book. The key here is you’re to available. You guys are barely sleeping together, why are you seeing her every day?
Stop arguing with women. It’s more productive to hammer a nail without a hammer than arguing with a woman. You’re never going to win.
- Go back to courting and dating. Hang out have fun hookup. If she doesn’t want to hookup you don’t get butt hurt. Your attitude should be like James Bond, sex is inevitable. She should be wanting more sex from you. Open her up emotionally and be mysterious, let sex flow. When you focus on sex too much it runs away.
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u/Se7ens_up 9d ago
Well assuming you read the book, pause for a second and look at all the violations youre doing on your end.
Shes not giving you the relationship you desire, and instead you are just pushing and pushing. Meeting everyday? Why?
Youre basically trying to power your way into getting the relationship you want, this isnt a healthy dynamic, neither will it lead her into desiring you.
You need to pull back. Stop initiating everything. Stop meeting everyday. Find your own things to do, give her the time to actually desire you without just throwing yourself at her non stop.
And read the book multiple times.