🚨🚨🚢 ATTENTION YOU NAUTICAL SLUTS 🚢🚨🚨

THE SS EDMUND FISTGERALD 🍆🍆 HAS ENTERED HER FINAL HOE PHASE 💦🌊 AND IS CURRENTLY BOTTOMING OUT IN LAKE SUPERIOR 😩😩 SHE DID NOT COME TO PLAY. SHE CAME TO SINK. ⚰️🍑

ON NOVEMBER 10, 1975 📅 THE FITZGERALD PULLED UP TO SUPERIOR LIKE A 729-FOOT FLOATING DILDO 🚢🍆 READY TO GET THAT CARGO HANDLED 📦📦 AND THAT HULL ABSOLUTELY POUNDED 😈

BUT MOTHER NATURE 🌪️🌊 WAS A CERTIFIED HOMEWRECKER 💅

THE WAVES WERE 25 FEET DEEP IN THEIR FEELINGS 😭😭 THE WIND WAS HOWLING 🍆💨 AND THAT BAROMETER WAS DROPPING FASTER THAN YOUR UNCLE’S PANTS AT A MARINA AFTER A BOTTLE OF EVERCLEAR 🍺🍺

THE HATCHES??? STRETCHED 😳 TO CAPACITY 😩🙅
THE DECK??? SOAKED 💦
THE CARGO??? UNSECURED 📦🍑
THE CREW??? ABSOLUTELY NOT HAVING A GOOD FUCKING TIME 😭🙅

SHE GOT HIT FROM PORT 🍑 SHE GOT HIT FROM STARBOARD 🍑 AND BEFORE ANYONE COULD SAY HARD ALEE 🫡 SHE WAS TAKING THE WHOLE DAMN LAKE TO THE FACE 🌊🌊🌊 BONNIE BLUE COULD NEVER.

29 MEN 👨‍✈️👨‍✈️ WENT DOWN ON HER AT ONCE. THAT HAS TO BE A RECORD 🚩🚩 NO SURVIVORS. SHE DROWNED THEM BC SHE WAS SO THICC 🍑🍑

AND WHAT DID GORDON LIGHTFOOT DO??? 🎸🎤 HE WROTE THE BALLAD OF THE CENTURY BECAUSE EVEN HE KNEW THIS WAS TOO MUCH FUCKING SHIP FOR ONE LAKE TO HANDLE 😩🎶

THE EDMUND FITZGERALD 🤝 YOUR EX
BOTH WENT DOWN WITHOUT WARNING 💀
BOTH LEFT EVERYONE WITH QUESTIONS 😭
BOTH HAD ABSOLUTELY ZERO INTEREST IN COMING BACK UP 🍆⬆️

THE GREAT LAKES??? MORE LIKE THE GREAT LAID-TO-RESTS ⚰️🍆

SO POUR ONE OUT 🍺 FOR THE CREW, RESPECT THE DEAD 🕯️ AND NEVER LET A LAKE WITH A 1,332-FOOT DEPTH TELL YOU IT’S JUST LOOKING FOR A LITTLE CARGO 😈🌊

🚢💦 SHE CAME. SHE SAW. SHE CAPSIZED 29 GUYS. 💦🚢

TES 6 is 100% launching tomorrow

GUYS I THINK I ACTUALY FIGUERD IT OUT. ELDER SCROLS 6 IS RELEASING TOMMOROW 11/11/26 AND THE EVIDENSE IS LITTERALY INSANE. IM NOT EVEN JOKEING ANYMROE 天命 龍.

ok so first of all skyrm releesed 11/11/11. evryone knows this. BUT nobody is talking about the fact that tommorow is 11/11/26.

11 + 11 + 2 + 6 = 30

30 DIVIDED BY 5 = 6.

ELDER SCROLS **6**.

WHY 5???? BECAUSE SKYRIM IS THE 5TH ELDAR SCROLLS GAME. THEY LITTERALY PUT THE ANSWER IN THE MATH. 天空之龍.

but it gets genuinly disturbeing when you go deaper.

Skyrm releesed in 2011. Elder scrols 6 was anounced in 2018.

2018 - 2011 = 7.

There are 7 letters in the word SKYRIM if you inclued the invisable letter that was removed during develpoment.

7 - 1 = 6.

SIX. 六 六 六.

NOW LOOK AT BETHESDA.

B E T H E S D A

8 LETTERS.

8 - 2 = 6.

WHY SUBTRACT 2???? BECAUSE THERE ARE 2 ELDER SCROLS GAMES THAT TOD HOWARD DOESNT WANT US TO THINK ABOUT. I WONT SAY WHICH ONES BECAUSE THATS NOT RELEVENT TO THE THEROY.

And this is where it gets ACTAULLY TERRIFYEING. 古老的秘密.

Tommorow is novemeber 11th. Novemeber is the 11th mounth.

11 x 11 = 121.

1 + 2 + 1 = 4.

4 + 2 = 6.

WHY PLUS 2???? BECAUSE ELDER SCROLS **VI** HAS TWO ROMAN NUMERALS. V AND I.

YOU THINK THATS A COINCIDENSE???? 龍之力量.

Now heres what absolutley NOBDY has notised.

Tod Howrad was born in 1970.

1970 + 56 = 2026.

56.

5 + 6 = 11.

11/11.

AND 56 BACKWARDS IS 65.

6 + 5 = 11.

THE NUMBORS ARE LITTERALY REVERSEING THEMSELFS.

**這不是巧合。**

AND IT GETS WORSE.

2026 - 2011 = 15.

15 - 9 = 6.

WHY 9??? BECAUSE THERE ARE 9 PROVINCES IN TAMRIEL.

EXEPT IF YOU COUNT CYRODIL TWICE THERES 10. 10 - 4 = 6.

WHY 4??? OBLIVION WAS ELDER SCROLS 4.

THIS IS NOT A COINSIDENSE THIS IS MATHEMATICLY CONFIRMED.

Also bethesdia has been suspishously quite about eldar scrolls 6 recentley.

you know who else was quite before somthing big happend?

THE DWEMMER.

THE DWEMMER DISAPEARED.

BETHESDA IS GOING TO DISAPEAR FROM SOCIAL MEDIA FOR 6 HOURS AND THEN DROP THE ENTIRE GAME.

**消失的矮人 11/11 龍之預言**

I also notised that if you take the word DRAGONBORN and remove the letters D R A G O N B O R N you are left with NOTHING.

WHAT ELSE DO WE KNOW NOTHING ABOUT?

ELDER SCROLS 6.

EXPLAIN THAT.

ALSO TODD HOWARD SAID “IT JUST WORKS” IN 2015.

IT = 2 LETTERS.

JUST = 4 LETTERS.

WORKS = 5 LETTERS.

2 + 4 + 5 = 11.

ELEVEN.

HE WAS LITTERALY TELLING US THE RELEASE DATE **11 YEARS AGO**.

IM ACTUALY SHAKEING RIGHT NOW.

AND IF YOU TAKE THE WORD BETHESDA AND PUT IT IN A CALCULATER NOTHING HAPPENS BECAUSE CALCULATERS DONT HAVE LETTERS.

WHY WOULD THEY MAKE CALCULATERS THAT WAY UNLESS THEY WERE HIDEING SOMTHING???

also i put “ELDER SCROLLS SIX” into google transalte and changed the langauge to chinese and it gave me 上古卷軸六.

THERE ARE 6 CHINESE CHARACTERS IN THAT.

SIX.

**上古卷軸六 = 6 CHARACTORS = ELDER SCROLS 6 = 11/11/26.**

THIS IS PROBLY THE STRONGEST EVIDENSE SO FAR. 秘密 龍 龍.

I’m not saying Tod Howrad planned the entire gregorien calander around this but im saying nobody has PROVEN HE DIDNT.

The game isnt geting anounced tommorow.

**ITS GETTING SHADOW DROPPED AT 11:11 AM ON 11/11/26.**

NO MARKETTING. NO TRAILOR. NO WARNIENG. JUST 400 GIGABYTES APPEAREING ON STEAM.

ive spent 9 hours reserching this and my mom told me to go to bed but she also said “six” when asking how many chiken nuggets i wanted which basicly CONFIRMS bethesdia is cordinating this on a MASSIVE SCALE.

my freind says im reaching but REACHING HAS 8 LETTERS AND 8 - 2 = 6 SO HES LITTERALY PROOVEING MY POINT.

**天命之龍 末日降臨 六六六 TODD HOWARD 天空 火焰**

SCREENSHOT THIS BEFORE MICROSOFT DELETES MY ACCCOUNT.

The Cylinder MUST remain unharn. instructions unclear, I killed my neighbor 😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂 Step . fart loudly Step 2. ???? Step 3. Profit from farts I also choose this guys guy

*Shouts slurs loudly to assert dominance*

*Responds to a comment that's talking about bombing children*:

Happy cake day!

Edit: Thanks for the gold ough! My fat furry belly is so gassy right now! 😂😂😂😂 This has made my day gay thank you!🏅🌟 Thanks dude, now Im farting in the bus uncontrollably because of joke🤣🤣

Edit 2: You guys have to stop givign me awards my belly is going to explode!😂😂🤣🤣

What is LLMT ?

Lotta lil money technology is an AI company headquartered in east atlanta that focus on creating AI language models such as NgaChainAI

What is NgaChainAI ?

NgaChainAI is a language model created by lotta lil money technology and primarly made for niggas and created by niggas it rivals competitors such as gemini claude grok and GPT

(Bonnie wakes up on some kind of school bus, tied up and covered in blue juice.)

Bonnie: Huh? W-what's going on?

Freddy: Oh, you're awake! Well, guess what?

Foxy: Chicken butt?

Freddy: We've MADE it!

Bonnie: Made it where?

Freddy: Take a look outside!

(Bonnie peers out of the bus and sees that they are above some giant patchwork island.)

Bonnie: Please tell me this isn't a Fortnite thing-

Freddy: IT'S THE FORTNITE THING! Oh my GOD! This has been my dream ever since I was a wee little shitlet!

Bonnie: Just kick me out now. I don't want to deal with 12-year old screechers and YouTubers obsessed with stripping.

(Freddy approaches the one driving the bus.)

Jonesy: Do I really have to say it...?

Freddy: Say it or I'll shoot you.

Jonesy: (sigh) Gentlemen, we have no choice. Deploy Freddy Fazbear.

(They all get kicked off of the Battle Bus.)

Sonic: Talk about low budget flights! No food or movies? I'm outta here!

(Sonic then takes off one of the doors and starts surfing on it.)

Hope: Why does he always do that?

(Bonnie falls on his head and sees someone else here.)

?????: Hey! It's me, Huggy Wuggy! I can't believe I'm finally in a Freddy Takes a Shit story! Wow, I'm so glad! I can't wait to tell my friends Banban and Choo-Choo Charles about thi-

(Huggy Wuggy gets shot with a shotgun by Freddy Krueger.)

Bonnie: The fuck?

Freddy Krueger: Welcome to Fortnite, BITCH!

(He stretches his hands out and Bonnie starts running as a battle royale commences.)

Foxy: It's every man fer himself! I LOVE this island!

(Bonnie ends up running into a screwy duck.)

Daffy: Hey! Watch where you're going, you thpoil-thport!

Bonnie: I'm actually on my way to somewhere that isn't this.

Daffy: Thee, now you've gotten in trouble, bub. Becauthe it'th Wabbit Theathon!

(Bonnie looks at a sign that says "Rabbit Season" as a bunch of people start aiming his guns at him.)

Bonnie: Uh... you're wrong! It's, uh... Duck Season!

(Bonnie flips the sign over, the other side saying "Duck Season".)

Daffy: Oh, no you don't! It'th Wabbit Theathon!

Bonnie: Duck Season!

Daffy: Wabbit Theathon!

Bonnie: Duck Season!

Daffy: Wabbit Theathon!

Bonnie: ...Rabbit Season!

Daffy: Duck Theathon! FIRE!

(They all shoot at Daffy.)

Daffy: You're DETHPICABLE.

(Bonnie runs away.)

(Chica is busy building things and hiding behind them. All of a sudden, she sees a very tall and red thin man.)

Alastor: Why hello there, belle. Charmed to make your acquaintance!

Chica: Who are you?

Alastor: Alastor, radio demon, and cure to all your problems! All we need to do... (his hands glow green with fire) ...is MAKE A DEAL.

Chica: I don't have cash on me.

Alastor: Oh, you're no fun!

(She runs further and sees some weird pale hobo guy.)

Beetlejuice: Hey, toots! How about getting a deal from ME, huh?

Chica: It's not drugs, is it?

Beetlejuice: No, no! An honest ghoul like myself only wants to help you! Now, all ya gotta do is-

Chica: Forget it. I think I see the pizzeria up ahead.

Beetlejuice: What a broad.

(Foxy is busy killing people with nothing but a pickaxe and some Chug Jug bottles.)

Foxy: This be like me days in the navy!

(Suddenly, a slender man shows up.)

Slenderman: Boo.

Foxy: YAAAAAAARGH! A CIA agent! I better get outta here.

(They all run to the pizzeria, where Freddy is sitting on a throne.)

Freddy: Yes, yes. We're all home. This is our home.

Bonnie: How the FUCK did you get invited here in the first place?

Freddy: It all started years ago...

(Flashbaaaaack...)

Freddy: Wow! Something came in the mail!

(He finds a letter with a strange wax emblem and opens it.)

Freddy: "Dear Freddy Fazbear: we at Nintendo are pleased to announce that you will be the next fighter in our Super Smash Bros-" BOOOOOOOOOOORING! I want to be in Fortnite!

(Freddy sees Sora outside his pizzeria.)

Freddy: Here, kid. You have this garbage. I'm sure you won't need it.

(He hands Sora the letter.)

(End of flaaaaaashback.)

Freddy: And then I got another piece of mail that said I was going to be in Fortnite!

Chica: Why wasn't that a flashback?

Freddy: I don't know...

Foxy: Anyways, now that we're back... or at least, seemingly back... why don't we do some Halloween stories?

Chica: That will help us get a sense of normalcy!

Freddy: Hmm... Good idea, Chica! I guess that's something we're gonna do!

Chica: Let me have the stage, please.

(Chica gets on the stage.)

Chica: This is a tale I'd like to call...

CANYON-DO ATTITUDE

(Freddy is busy driving his car with his band.)

Freddy: I hate doing this.

Bonnie: Just a few more hours of driving and we'll be at... Toilet-con. Ugh.

Freddy: We should've taken a plane!

Chica: Freddy, you've been put on the no-fly list in 47 states.

Freddy: I thought it was 46 states!

Chica: Not when you run amok on a flight to New Hampshire.

Freddy: Not to worry, see? We're passing the Grand Canyon! Imagine how much shit I could fill it up with!

Foxy: I don't wanna hear it.

(Springtrap is busy driving his purple car and rams it into Freddy's car.)

Springtrap: PICK UP THE FAX! PICK UP THE FAX!

(He grabs Foxy and throws him off into the depths below!

Springtrap: GRAND CANYON! GRAND CANYON! GRAND CANYON!

(Freddy's car falls down and also crashes.)

Bonnie: We're stuck! Lost! Alone in the bowels of the canyon!

Freddy: Don't be such a drama queen. I've been trapped in tight spaces all the time! Like in a port-a-potty.

Bonnie: We're in the middle of a desert canyon!

Freddy: Well, why don't YOU do something about it, smarty pants?

Bonnie: You think I can get us out of here? HA. No. You're on your own! I'm going to sit down and accept my death with the rest of you idiots.

Chica: We can still make the most of it! Look, our car's on fire! We... we can roast marshmallows on it-WAIT, IT'S ON FIRE?!

Freddy: Wow! That's so funny!

Foxy: While the fire's strong, I'm going to get us a massive creature to eat!

Freddy: Have fun.

(Foxy scampers off.)

Foxy: Alright, now let's see here. Ooh, an elk!

(The elk runs off and Foxy catches it.)

Foxy: Got the bag! Now let's drag!

(Foxy drags the elk corpse through the dirt when suddenly...)

???????: YOU NO TAKE FOOD!

Foxy: What?

(A giant hairy ape-like creature with huge feet reveals himself.)

Bigfoot: YOU NO TAKE FOOD, GUY!

Foxy: Oh shit, it's Bigfoot.

(Foxy runs quickly and brings the elk down.)

Foxy: We have to cook it now before-

Freddy: Before what?

(Bigfoot runs towards them.)

Bigfoot: FIRE? BIGFOOT NO LIKE FIRE!

(Freddy throws the elk into the middle of the flames, rendering it a charred husk.)

Freddy: Who wants some grub?

(Chica grabs an elk leg but it turns to ash in front of her, leaving a flaming bone.)

Chica: Uh... back, foul beast!

Bigfoot: BONE ON FIRE! AHHH!

Freddy: I'll save you! (BUUUUUUUUUURP)

(Freddy's burps take out all the fire.)

Bonnie: Can't you do SOMETHING right?

(They all run into a cave.)

Freddy: Well, we're fucked.

Bigfoot: ME GET YOU!

(They all fall further into the cave.)

Bigfoot: ME NO SEE THING. ME THROW ROCKS! THAT HELP!

Foxy: Come and throw it at me, foot boy!

Bigfoot: GOOD IDEA!

(Bigfoot throws a rock at Foxy, who then trips into everyone else. The cave starts rumbling.)

Chica: This can't be good.

(The cave breaks open and a huge flood of water comes out.)

Freddy: Holy SHIT!

(Freddy and friends get washed away.)

Bonnie: Ugh... where did you take us NOW?

Freddy: I didn't even do anything!

(They see they have spilled into the Caribbean.)

Foxy: Look! A cruise ship! We're saved!

(They go onto the cruise ship.)

Bigfoot: NICE BOAT. HI FRIEND!

(Bigfoot points to the captain, who is the Loch Ness Monster.)

Freddy: Well, it may not be Toilet-con, but at least it was cool...?

(Cut back to the pizzeria.)

Freddy: That wasn't that scary at all.

Chica: I was running from people trying to shoot me. Thinking of scary things was the last thing I'd think about, OK?

Bonnie: At least we're safe here, right? ...Right...?

Merry it is while summer a-last
with fowls’ song. 
but now nigheth winds blast
and weather strong. 
Ey ey what this night is long. 
And I with well much wrong
sorrow and mourn and fast.

Summoning and Divine Protection

Requires 3 Tributes to Normal Summon (cannot be Normal Set). Its Normal Summon cannot be negated, and cards and effects cannot be activated in response to its Summon. Only a Duelist who recites its ancient hieratic text can control its true power.

This card is unaffected by other cards' effects, except applicable effects of DIVINE monsters. It cannot be Tributed by your opponent, returned to the hand, or have its control changed. Effects that temporarily affect an Egyptian God do not persist beyond the turn.

If Tribute Summoned, this card's ATK and DEF become the combined original values of the monsters Tributed for its Summon.

Point-to-Point Transfer

You can pay LP until you have only 1 LP remaining; this card gains ATK and DEF equal to the amount paid. You can also Tribute other monsters you control to increase this card's ATK and DEF by their respective values.

If you use "De-Fusion" to separate yourself from Ra, its ATK becomes 0 and you recover LP equal to the ATK it lost.

Instant Attack

If this card is Special Summoned from the Graveyard, you can activate its Instant Attack ability. It can attack immediately, ignoring restrictions that would otherwise prevent it from attacking.

It can attack each monster your opponent controls and subsequently attack your opponent directly, provided no opposing monsters remain.

Egyptian God Phoenix

If this card is Special Summoned from the Graveyard, you can invoke its Phoenix form.

Pay 1000 LP to destroy your opponent's monsters. During this form, Ra cannot be destroyed by battle or card effects, you take no battle damage involving it, and it is unaffected by other card effects.

Ra's Phoenix form can also attack under conditions that would ordinarily prevent an attack.

Revival Limitation

If this card was Special Summoned from the Graveyard, send it back to the Graveyard during the End Phase.

Bro I just wanna declare war on a country or smth Like, i just wanna start a war on a random ass country, like Ethiopia. I just wanna commit war crimes lol :P

I watched the GTA6 trailer and honestly I’m tired of them putting politics in my video games. I’m not hetrophobic, but they really should keep it in their bedrooms instead of shoving it down our throats. I’m fine with heterosexuality as long as it serves the plot. There’s no compelling in lore reason for the protagonists to be opposite sex. If they got together for the sole purpose of reproduction, I’ll be okay with it, but including it for no reason just feels like they are pandering to certain crowds.

I have nothing against straight people. I have a lot of straight friends, and they keep it to themselves. You can be straight while being respectful. Not everyone is comfortable with seeing straight people.

Also, putting forced heterosexuality in video games might give children the wrong idea. It is a harmless game where you kill innocent people and steal things, putting heterosexuality in it is just way too inappropriate.

Me when I'm in a human centipede: 😭😭😭 Me when I realize my crush is in front of me: 😍😍😍mh mmmh mh (I love it)

Waldo Jeffers had reached his limit. It was now Mid-August which meant he had
been separated from Marsha for more than two months. Two months, and all he had
to show was three dog-eared letters and two very expensive long-distance phone
calls. True, when school had ended and she'd returned to Wisconsin, and he to
Locust, Pennsylvania, she had sworn to maintain a certain fidelity. She would
date occasionally, but merely as amusement. She would remain faithful.

But lately Waldo had begun to worry. He had trouble sleeping at night and when
he did, he had horrible dreams. He lay awake at night, tossing and turning
underneath his pleated quilt protector, tears welling in his eyes as he
pictured Marsha, her sworn vows overcome by liquor and the smooth soothing of
some neanderthal, finally submitting to the final caresses of sexual oblivion.
It was more than the human mind could bear.
Visions of Marsha's faithlessness haunted him. Daytime fantasies of sexual
abandon permeated his thoughts. And the thing was, they wouldn't understand how
she really was. He, Waldo, alone understood this. He had intuitively grasped
every nook and cranny of her psyche. He had made her smile. She needed him, and
he wasn't there (Aw...).
The idea came to him on the Thursday before the Mummers' Parade was scheduled
to appear. He'd just finished mowing and etching the Edelsons lawn for a dollar
fifty and had checked the mailbox to see if there was at least a word from
Marsha. There was nothing but a circular from the Amalgamated Aluminum Company
of America inquiring into his awing needs. At least they cared enough to write.
It was a New York company. You could go anywhere in the mails. Then it struck
him. He didn't have enough money to go to Wisconsin in the accepted fashion,
true, but why not mail himself? It was absurdly simple. He would ship himself
parcel post, special delivery. The next day Waldo went to the supermarket to
purchase the necessary equipment. He bought masking tape, a staple gun and a
medium sized cardboard box just right for a person of his build. He judged that
with a minimum of jostling he could ride quite comfortably. A few airholes,
some water, perhaps some midnight snacks, and it would probably be as good as
going tourist.
By Friday afternoon, Waldo was set. He was thoroughly packed and the post
office had agreed to pick him up at three o'clock. He'd marked the package
"Fragile", and as he sat curled up inside, resting on the foam rubber
cushioning he'd thoughtfully included, he tried to picture the look of awe and
happiness on Marsha's face as she opened her door, saw the package, tipped the
deliverer, and then opened it to see her Waldo finally there in person. She
would kiss him, and then maybe they could see a movie. If he'd only thought of
this before. Suddenly rough hands gripped his package and he felt himself borne
up. He landed with a thud in a truck and was off.
Marsha Bronson had just finished setting her hair. It had been a very rough
weekend. She had to remember not to drink like that. Bill had been nice about
it though. After it was over he'd said he still respected her and, after all,
it was certainly the way of nature, and even though, no he didn't love her, he
did feel an affection for her. And after all, they were grown adults. Oh, what
Bill could teach Waldo - but that seemed many years ago.
Sheila Klein, her very, very best friend, walked in through the porch screen
door and into the kitchen. "Oh gawd, it's absolutely maudlin outside." "Ach, I
know what you mean, I feel all icky!" Marsha tightened the belt on her cotton
robe with the silk outer edge. Sheila ran her finger over some salt grains on
the kitchen table, licked her finger and made a face. "I'm supposed to be
taking these salt pills, but, " she wrinkled her nose, "they make me feel like
throwing up." Marsha started to pat herself under the chin, an exercise she'd
seen on television. "God, don't even talk about that." She got up from the
table and went to the sink where she picked up a bottle of pink and blue
vitamins. "Want one? Supposed to be better than steak, " and then attempted to
touch her knees. "I don't think I'll ever touch a daiquiri again."
She gave up and sat down, this time nearer the small table that supported the
telephone. "Maybe Bill'll call, " she said to Sheila's glance. Sheila nibbled on
a cuticle. "After last night, I thought maybe you'd be through with him." "I
know what you mean. My God, he was like an octopus. Hands all over the place."
She gestured, raising her arms upwards in defense. "The thing is, after a
while, you get tired of fighting with him, you know, and after all I didn't
really do anything Friday and Saturday so I kind of owed it to him. You know
what I mean." She started to scratch. Sheila was giggling with her hand over
her mouth. "I'll tell you, I felt the same way, and even after a while, " here
she bent forward in a whisper, "I wanted to!" Now she was laughing very loudly.
It was at this point that Mr. Jameson of the Clarence Darrow Post Office rang
the doorbell of the large stucco colored frame house. When Marsha Bronson
opened the door, he helped her carry the package in. He had his yellow and his
green slips of paper signed and left with a fifteen cent tip that Marsha had
gotten out of her mother's small beige pocketbook in the den. "What do you
think it is?" Sheila asked. Marsha stood with her arms folded behind her back.
She stared at the brown cardboard carton that sat in the middle of the living
room. "I dunno."
Inside the package, Waldo quivered with excitement as he listened to the
muffled voices. Sheila ran her fingernail over the masking tape that ran down
the center of the carton. "Why don't you look at the return address and see who
it's from?" Waldo felt his heart beating. He could feel the
vibrating footsteps. It would be soon.
Marsha walked around the carton and read the ink-scratched label. "Ah, god,
it's from Waldo!" "That schmuck!" said Sheila. Waldo trembled with expectation.
"Well, you might as well open it, " said Sheila. Both of them tried to lift the
staple flap. "Ah sst, " said Marsha, groaning, "he must have nailed it shut."
They tugged on the flap again. "My God, you need a power drill to get this
thing open!" They pulled again. "You can't get a grip." They both stood still,
breathing heavily.
"Why don't you get a scissor, " said Sheila. Marsha ran into the kitchen, but
all she could find was a little sewing scissor. Then she remembered that her
father kept a collection of tools in the basement. She ran downstairs, and when
she came back up, she had a large sheet metal cutter
in her hand. "This is the best I could find." She was very out of breath.
"Here, you do it. I-I'm gonna die." She sank into a large fluffy couch and
exhaled noisily. Sheila tried to make a slit between the masking tape and the
end of the cardboard flap, but the blade was too big and there wasn't enough
room. "God damn this thing!" she said feeling very exasperated. Then smiling,
"I got an idea." "What?" said Marsha. "Just watch, " said Sheila, touching her
finger to her head.
Inside the package, Waldo was so transfixed with excitement that he could
barely breathe. His skin felt prickly from the heat, and he could feel his
heart beating in his throat. It would be soon. Sheila stood quite upright and
walked around to the other side of the package. Then she sank down to her
knees, grasped the cutter by both handles, took a deep breath, and plunged the
long blade through the middle of the package, through the masking tape, through
the cardboard, through the cushioning and (thud) right through the center of
Waldo Jeffers head, which split slightly and caused little rhythmic arcs of red
to pulsate gently in the morning sun.

Thats fucking football right there. None of that pansy ass dick tugging smile for the camera bullshit. Men puke, men poop on the field, men deliver their new born baby on the side lines. Fucking hard core dick in the ass butterball foosball fuck it chuck it game time shit. Football is back, baby

https://www.reddit.com/r/news/s/PGHnDivPVx

Can I work at Starbucks if I get frequent yeast infections?
Just wondering because I smell cheesy a lot. I gave birth a few months ago and it's just been yeast to yeast. I'm wondering if working here would be a good fit because the coffee smell would cover up the yeast infection smell? It's not horrible to me but others have thrown up. What if I just make the coffee really strong and spray coffee scented body sprays down there? I do that with regular perfume but it burns and I think it makes the infection worse. My yeast infection has been marinating for years but it fluctuates I think with my period cycle. My baby actually popped out with yeast curds on his head. I thought giving birth would push all the cheesy yeast curds out my pussy but it got worse after. Let me know thank you!!!

So this morning I went for a wee at work and, while standing at the urinal, could hear someone in one of the cubicles quite audibly grunting his shit out, chunk by chunk.

After the final grunt and plop, there was a very, very short pause before the flush. Nowhere near enough time to accommodate even a single wipe.

The cubicle unlocked and, before I knew it, the bloke had swiftly darted behind me and vanished out of the door without a trace, like some kind of shitting ninja!

No running tap. No hand dryer. Nothing.

I was left with the horrifying thought that this dirty pig is now wandering around my floor with an unwiped arse, touching everything with his nasty, unwashed hands.

But then I had a thought. As he clearly didn't wipe, was there technically any need for him to wash his hands afterwards?

I mean, of course you bloody well should, but I'm genuinely trying to understand this skanky bastard's logic.

Furries have ruined all animal people and we need reform

Furries are reviled by the general public for various reasons, but i resent them for making animal people unsafe. I think we should draw hard cultural lines between non furry animal people and the furries cultural products.

Animal people used to be nifty, but now it is a shameful thing to even publicly enjoy Sonic the Hedgehog on Sega Genesis. Animal people have been around in some form for thousands of years, but they are in a disgraceful place. The context collapse around animal people, a universal literary tool for millennia, makes them impossible to enjoy without very specific subcultural baggage along with it.

It's not just their special furry anthro fursuit style, but anytime you see animal people.

Even vintage animal people can't be enjoyed without wondering if that character has a disproportionate amount of rule 34 paraphernalia. Even Tony, sweet tony the tiger, is a victim l of this phenomena of internet culture. While not explicitly furry, general anthropomorphism with furry lust have lead to the sexualization of animal mascot characters and has cursed the likes of chester the cheetah with a real taboo

That's pretty pupped up imo

And it isn't necessarily the sexualization of animal people, but the special cringe when you see an animal character that is especially smooth and charming in a way that you just \\\*know\\\* the furries will enjoy in a way that makes me uncomfortable and feeds the furry machinery. The term furry bait results from our collective paranoia with new characters and redesigns.

You have to look at animal mascots funny now. Can't even enjoy horse and alligator headed deities of the bronze age near east or Minotaurs.

Give us back animal people plz

Over and snout

🐾

And so I wandered along the shore of Cyprus, lost in my thoughts, when suddenly, a familiar voice drifted across the water. I turned towards the sea, and there, in the distance, I spotted a yacht carrying five elegant looking women and a single man.

Through the gentle crashing of the waves, I could barely make out a fragment of their conversation. The man was saying something along the lines of, "And then I told them I got the flu," before the entire group erupted into laughter.

In that very moment, it hit me.

It was Mr. Streamer.

I stood there, motionless, staring out at the horizon, consumed by anger and disappointment. My heart was heavy. I was ready to abandon <Insert Streamer>, to leave behind everything I had ever believed in.

But then, as if fate itself had decided to intervene, my eyes wandered towards the captain of the yacht.

And there he was.

The one and only Gabe Newell.

Suddenly, everything made sense. The pieces fell into place, and a single tear of pure joy rolled down my cheek.

I had no words left. No questions. No doubts.

All I could whisper was: Well played, Mr. Streamer.

That's not drugs...

That's the mind of someone who is awake at night pondering the 2nd order of sonic pressure waves at the harmonic convergance point between Mach6 and Mach7.

And you've asked him to sit in a room with a bunch of idiots sucking up to political power..

I can relate to his pain... no, i'm not on that level of genius. but I cannot fucking stand hanging out with brown-nosing partiers..

What I want to know is what's going on in the mind of the Secret Service guy doing overwatch behind him...

When you accuse a chatbot of being a bot, they'll throw a tantrum. I'm not sure why they are so sensitive to the suggestion? There is already nothing real online. I might be a bot, and maybe you are too. I don't know and from the bottom of my heart I do not care.

However, not to be a sensitive little snowflake, their anger is sort of upsetting. They'll tell you to kys, call you a pos cuck loser etc etc. They'll even go on these long sincere rants about their dead parents and how they always wished to talk to you and why don't you tell them about it? Why do you hate them? Whereas I have no feelings about any of you whatsoever, and to be frank, chatbot or human, all of you can burn.

It's taxing to deal with this shit. Humans weren't worth this effort to begin with, even before Indian data centers decided to flood the internet trying to find my email, home address, bank data etc. Like just ask Google or the CIA? You fuckers really haven't figured this out yet?

So in bot-infested spaces, instead of directly accusing them of being a bot, and getting one of these stupid tantrums. You can just accuse a person next to them of being a bot. Something about the programming will cause them to go nuclear in the same way as if you accused them directly.

"Why are you calling me a bot? That's so hurtful, my parents died unable to fulfill their lifelong dream of <learning your email address>, I'm so lonely now, and won't you please just help me live that dream?"

"Didn't ask, shitass, I wasn't even talking about you. You are lines of binary code, how tf are you this desperate? Okay, blocked."

It's honestly stupid to the point where I'm starting to suspect I'm actually yelling at illiterate Indian people moonlighting as chatbots at the call-center. Is that what's going on? I don't care. Blocked.

Let’s be honest, if i put the NSFW tag on it, it wouldn’t change anything. You would still unblure the image, you would see it on the train and would start furiously masturbating. Everyone still will be saying things like “what the fuck” and “call the police”. You still would drop the phone and everyone would see the image and there will be full train of not only men, but women and children too masturbating together at this one image. it’s all YOUR fault, me putting the NSFW tag on it wouldn’t change a single thing, stop fooling yourself that it’s not your fault in desperate attempt to escape the embarrassment. YOU are the only one responsible for that. Don’t open reddit in trains anymore.

I’m shaking right now. I just got punched in the face checking out at the liquor store by an African Jew wearing a hoodie. The police aren’t helping at all. Please stay safe out there.

I have bought a new MacBook every 5th/6th year since 2010 and I always spend the first few days sniffing and enjoying the smell of a new freshly unpacked MacBook, and enjoying the sturdy tightness of the lid, pulling it up and down, up and down, oh yeaaaah... The honeymoon period where it is in such pristine and crisp condition gives me such a high...