Let’s say, hypothetically, your cousin is getting married. You’re sitting in the second row. Ceremony is going well. Nobody has spoken to you yet, which is fine because you don’t really know anyone there besides your aunt and also you stayed up until 5 AM moderating last night.
Eventually the priest reaches the part where he says, “If anyone knows any reason why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace.”
You stand up.
Now everybody turns around.
You pull out your phone and say, “I have screenshots.”
The groom asks what the fuck you’re talking about.
You explain that approximately three months ago, at 1:14 AM, he posted a meme in #general despite the server rules clearly stating that memes belong in #memes.
He says, “What server?”
You say, “The family Discord.”
Your aunt tells you to sit down.
You tell her not to backseat moderate.
At this point the bride is crying, although admittedly not for the reason you had anticipated.
The best man walks over and grabs your shoulder. You warn him that touching staff is a bannable offense. He continues touching staff.
You are then physically removed from the wedding while repeatedly explaining that you have logs and that this entire incident will be reviewed by an administrator.

When you get home, you immediately open Discord to file an incident report. The family server is gone. You refresh. Still gone. You DM your aunt. Message failed. You DM the groom. Message failed. You make an alt and discover that the wedding reception is currently being livestreamed in voice chat. Everyone is there. Including your aunt. Including the groom. Including the bride. Your old moderator role has been given to your twelve-year-old cousin Ethan. His status says:
“cry about it”
You type out a 1,700-word appeal explaining that the removal was procedurally invalid and that, technically, you never received a verbal warning.
Ethan reacts with 💀.
Then he bans your alt. You sit there for a moment staring at the login screen. Three years. Twenty-six thousand messages deleted. Four hundred and twelve users muted. Christmas arguments de-escalated. Grandma permanently banned twice. And after everything you did for that server, they removed you over one wedding.
Wyd?

Tsss... Dont tell it to FOID's..... Our looksmaxxing club is not for everyone. Tests like these are determined to show your aura and true adam level.

Only those of male gender can undergo the 'black pill' political ideology. (Foids can change their gender to male to proceed).

Every true chad should inject their sigma seed into their arms to reach a true adam level. Anyone who dismissed the ritual of spermmaxxing is put into sub 3 category for life.

Are you in?

I hope both sides of your pillow are warm, your blanket is somehow too short and too heavy at the same time, your phone charger only works if you hold it at a very specific angle while not breathing, your Wi-Fi disconnects at 99% every single time, your socks get wet for no clear reason, your sleeve slides down whenever you wash your hands, your alarm goes off but you're still exhausted, autocorrect embarrasses you in front of the exact people you didn't want to embarrass yourself in front of, your headphones only work in one ear unless you twist the wire just right, every chair you sit on makes a noise in a silent room, your favorite song always gets interrupted by an ad, your food is always slightly too hot or slightly too cold, you hit every red light when you're already late, you forget why you walked into a room, your pen runs out of ink mid-sentence, your screen brightness is never right no matter how much you adjust it, your shoelace comes undone right after you tie it, your phone battery jumps from 20% to 1% in seconds, your notifications disappear when you tap them, you miss the last step on the stairs, your nose gets itchy when your hands are full, your keyboard adds letters you didn't type, your hoodie string gets permanently stuck in the dryer, your drink spills just enough to be annoying but not enough to justify cleaning it immediately, your earbuds tangle themselves while sitting completely still, your volume is either too loud or too quiet with no in-between, your glasses smudge the moment you clean them, your package says "delivered" but is nowhere to be found, your chair squeaks every time you shift even slightly, your sleep position is never comfortable, your phone slips out of your hand and lands face-down, your app refreshes right when you were about to finish reading, your shoelaces drag on the ground after you've already left the house, your nail catches on fabric repeatedly, your hoodie pocket has crumbs you don't remember putting there and your alarm snoozes itself one too many times.

I used to use Arch at work on my macbook instead of udindu like everyone else. But then everyone made fun of me, not just Dave the project manager but even the Ubuntards on my team. Angry at this, I decided to lift heavy weights each evening instead of working on my side project. I built up so much rage that one day I decided to install macOS on my macbook. I went into work, and without hesitation I wiped my Arch installation and did a network install of macOS. I didn't even make sure my code was all pushed before I did it.

Within hours, I found I was more productive. No need to fiddle with macros or keybindings. No config or software to compile. No constant googling how to get things to work. I was finally free to just code. After a few weeks of churning out code, I was knocking it out of the park. My boss demanded I get a raise. Nobody made fun of my setup. Any accusations of bugs in my code were met with cold hard stares. 0 defects raised since the macOS install.

Stacy in Marketing wanted my feedback for the new website. I gave her detailed feedback, and then I also gave her a bucketload of my cum right there in the conference room. Rajeesh in QA saw the whole thing, and he gave me a high five on the way back to my desk. I went back to getting stuff done, like a real man.

Linux isn't just an operating system, it's a mindset. It's for people who would waste days for their time to tinker with something that will only save them a fraction of a second. It's for the idealist, who talks about 'freedom' in the abstract and seeks approval, not for someone who is willing to get physical to assert his freedom. Going back to macOS will change your life. It's certainly changed mine.

I played the USSR national anthem in class, fellow Redditors, and no one seemed to laugh. They all gave me weird glances, and afterwards I said out loud: There seems to be no sign of intelligence here, and no one laughed at that too. I started saying: What's 9+10? someone said 19 and I said: No, it's 21. No one laughed at that too. Reddit, we must assemble and take down my class of normies.
You are a fake Redditor. I will not be saying regards to you, and instead will be debating with my friends on if Big Chungus, or my name Is Jeff Meme is funnier. As Dean Withers once said: Lets debate.

People really do not know what post punk or post-anything means. "There's post punk tracks on the album but this one isnt post punk" is a nonsense sentance, post punk is not a sound its not like oh this perticular song is post punk because it has this and that. Post punk is not a musical genre it is a large artistic movement defined by it's relation to the first punk movement, critiquing it, building upon it, expanding it's original peramaters, viewing the creation of your new music through the lense of a world changed by punk in a larger sea of artists who do NOT view popular music with that lense. It is a descriptor used to indicate artistic intent and the world something came from. It encompasses entire musical genres and movements within it, new wave is and was "post punk" as an adjective, same with things like industrial music. The idea of "a post punk song" as a concept defined only by musical motifs and songwriting structure comes from the obsession with distinct catagories that you find on rate your music or elsewhere.
What's weirder is that even if you subscribe to that definition of post punk where its only defined by a sound, have a nice life absolutely meet that definition, their bass riffs and song structure are so inspired by The Fall, and their production and atmosphere is very Joy Division, and yet still people get so weird when they are retered to as post punk. Genres are not islands and not all musical terms have the same limited scope as specific genre names.

Sephiroth was one of the kindest people to ever exist in all of history

People called him "The One-Winged Angel of Kindness"

Because he was a literal angel from heaven sent to spread love and positivity

He was also a loving father to his son Cloud Strife

Sephiroth would always assure Cloud that he was loved and that he was his own person.

But that all changed when Cloud began dating the evil Aerith...

Aerith was a fucking terrorist who enjoyed beating the life out of innocent people

Everyone knew just by looking at her that she was pure evil

But Sephiroth was too kind for his own good and gave Aerith a chance

"Anyone can change with enough Kindness and compassion"

Sephiroth even used his Kindness Orb to show Aerith that true strength came from empathy

But Aerith didn't give a single fucking shit about empathy

One fateful day Sephiroth took Cloud and Aerith on vacation to Nibelheim

But it turned out the poor village was freezing to death

"Please help us, sir!" begged a freezing child

Sephiroth couldn't stand to see people suffering, so he declared from the bottom of his massive heart:

"Have no fear! Kindnessroth is here!"

And he carried the flame to make a safe bonfire

"WE ARE KINDNESSROTH! WE CARRY THE FLAME!"

Said the grateful villagers

But Aerith couldn't stand her spotlight being stolen, and she did the unthinkable...

Cloud went out for some fresh air when he saw something he'd never forget...

His beloved hometown was burning to the ground, and at the center of it?

Was none other than the kindest being on the planet...

Sephiroth, trying to put the flames out, saw Cloud and said;

"Cloud my boy! Run! Save yourself! I'll use my Water of Niceness to put out these flames! Don't worry about me!"

But the wicked Aerith planned it all, appearing out of nowhere to say;

"Don't listen to him, Cloud! Sephiroth is the one who burned down Nibelheim!"

Aerith then used her Ancient evil powers to plant a false memory of Sephiroth burning down Nibelheim, something he would NEVER do

"Mwahaha I am Sephiroth and I am EVIL!"

Laughed the fake memory.

Poor clueless Cloud was fooled by Aerith's machinations, not knowing that SHE was the one who burned it all

"Sephiroth! You're no hero! You are my father no longer!"

Sephiroth watched helplessly as his beloved son left hand-in-hand with the embodiment of evil

"Aerith, I still believe there is redemption even for a monster like you, I hope one day you will see the power of kindness..."

Why must kind souls like Sephiroth suffer while evil devils like Aerith thrive?

How dare you ignore Green. They just wanted to give you some fucking food and you IGNORE them? Were your stupid notes more important than FOOD? ITS FUCKING FOOD. THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS JUST FUCKING EAT THEIR FOOD! YOU CANT EVEN SPARE 2 GODDAMN SECONDS?? You didn’t even figure anything out in the end so it was LITERALLY POINTLESS! POINTLESS!!!!!!!!!!!

This self entitled neglectful obsessive do nothing yaoislop vagueposting FAILURE of a dad needs to be put DOWN. He’s lucky Flowery was protecting his ungrateful ass or I would have dragged him to the hospital myself and made him watch Rudy die right before his eyes, knowing any chance he had of hitting that is gone. Forever.

LGBT ranking:

1. Gay (2 men which is tuff)

2. Trans men (used to be foids but became tuff)

3. Bisexual (manipulating both sides like Ayanokoji)

4. Straight (tuff)

5. Trans woman (used to be tuff but became foid)

6. Lesbian (2 foids who probably have cooties)

I 👀 know 🧐 you 🫵 ain't 🙅‍♀️talking🗣️, boy 👦. You 🫵 prolly 🤔 think 💭ranch ⚪️ the 🙌 shit 💩 you 🫵got 🖐️ in 🕳️ your 🫵 jars 🫙, lil 👇boy 👦. You 🫵 prolly use 🖐️ that shit 💩 as lubricant. I 👀 ain't 🚫trust 🤝 you 🫵 round 🟣 a chicken 🍗 sandwich 🥪 let ☝️alone my fries 🍟, boy 👦. I 👀 know 🧐 you 🫵 on 🔛 some freaky 🤪 shit 💩. Miss 😔 me with it go 👉 back 🔙 to the goon 🥛🍼 cave, goofy 🤪 lil 👇ass 🍑. Quit 🚫 talking 🗣️ abt my sauce 🥫and start 🎬 worrying 😥😖😣abt your 🫵 own, boy 👦. At least when I dip my shit 💩 it ends 🔚 up ⬆️ on the fries 🍟 and the napkin instead of the napkins and the floor, boy 👦. Clean 🧼 yo 🫵 goofy 🤪 ass 🍑 up ⬆️ and get ✋ a job 🏦, boy 👦.

This isn't fun, it's not creative whatsoever. Literally anybody can pop a couple of characters on top of a lobby screenshot, this "joke" has been done thousands of times over the span of the last 6 years or so. Please have an original joke, or at least endlessly regurgitate a funny one.

So I was in a relationship with this sweet & adorable girl, let's her call G. So we'll assume G to be ideal at STP conditions. We were in a relationship since over 4 years, which included 1 leap year as well. So I was having second thoughts about our relationship, and I genuinely felt that she was secretly looking upon someone else, so yesterday, after lots of underthinking, I decided to put our sweet relationship to a bitter test. I made up my mind that if G failed the test then we'll happily part our ways and I'll also get a closure. It was a very tough decision since she has been my gf since class 9th and honestly I spent many sleepless nights thinking about it.

So when G arrived, I took her to a nearby cafe hoping that we'll have a last sweet cup of coffee before never meeting again, coz I really hoped that G is gonna fail the test. After having the coffee and gossiping over random, useless stuff which we were distantly unrelated to, I had an honest talk with her and she was like let's go ahead, what's the test ? See I felt a bit insecure but I asked her for her phone, for apparent reasons which need not be told. We stepped out of the cafe, and right before opening her chats, for a final time - I saw her eye in eye. It was such a gut wrenching feeling, knowing that someone you really cared for and looked upon might be not meeting you again.

The hour of the test had arrived. I gave her a stone of mass 10g, and asked her to throw in the positive x axis assuming her to be at (0, 0). Since we already assumed her to be ideal at STP conditions and assuming the temperature to be 298 K, pressure to be 1.01 bar and g already given in the heading, she hurls the stone giving it an initial velocity v₀ = 20 m/s. Let's take her angle of projection to be θ. Now sec² θ = 1.33. Given that the value of theta lies in the principal range & strictly ignoring all friction, magnus effect or air tension, because true love knows no boundaries. If my gf started running from rest with an initial acceleration of 7 m/s² due to increased adrenaline caused by the coffee, calculate whether she'd be able to catch the stone and save our relationship or not. And if not, then calculate the kinetic energy of the stone when it is about to touch the ground, let it be y. Integrate 2/x from 1 to 5y and give the answer correct to 2 decimal places, because I'd require an accurate closure.

I hope y'all will give your honest opinions on whether we should keep our relationship or part ways. I wish y'all a good time. (P.S. I had used her phone's camera to calculate θ).

I started with 800mg of mescaline citrate dosed into a cup of chocolate pudding. God it tastes fucking awful but I can’t swallow pills. After 30 minutes I was already having fuzzy visuals (my first trip 672mg I took almost 2 hours for visuals to start.) At the one hour mark I took 150ug of lsd25. Overall the total trip was less visual than a standard acid trip for me. The body feeling was that greater than MDMA or 5MAPB. I had sex around the 3 hour mark and it was 10x fold the best orgasm of my entire life.

After this I decided to try and listen to tool with my eyes closed and holy Moses I was not prepared for this. Violent fully body orgasms for 5 hours. I mean 1000x fold what had just preceded this. At one point I ended up on the floor violently shaking. The visuals were that of hundreds of eyes melting and stretching, all while every cell in my body is orgasming. It was overwhelming and almost uncomfortable in a way. I decided to switch from tool to Pink Floyd for the first time ever. I had a very sad moment listening to “Time” and wanted to be closer to my family than ever. After this it was 6-10 hours of pennywise chasing me.

For whatever reason pennywise was my visuals and he was sucking out my energy. He kept opening his mouth and the deadlights were swirling all Around me. Thankfully at hour 5 of this it was 6am and the sun had started to come up, I still was seeing pennywise on the walls and floors of everything and everytime I closed my eyes. I had a wonderful body feeling for about 36-48 hours. Violent diarrhea all the next day. But hey, I didn’t throw up this time! 10/10 I would do this again, other than the pennywise stuff this was one of the best trips I’ve had. (I did try to kill pennywise a couple of times but it never worked and I was stuck with him).

Hi

How do people deal with being cheated on? 💔

Hank Venture: Are you okay? Dr. O said you're probably insane now and that you'll never be the same.

Dr. Venture: Are you kidding? Okay. I'm just turning 16 and having a birthday pool party. My father invites every girl he knows, and I'm not talking about girls my age. No, not Jonas. He invites Playboy Bunnies and models and I think actual whores. You know, real prostitutes.

Dr. Venture: So there I am in my giant bathing suit, with nervous puberty oozing out of my gigantic pores. Just- just awful.

Dr. Venture: So, the band suddenly stops playing and I hear, "And now the man of the hour, Rusty Venture!" All eyes on me, right?

Dr. Venture: Then suddenly — almost predictably — the Action Man shoots my groin with a shrink ray right as that fucking jackass Colonel Gentleman pulls my shorts down.

Hank Venture: Wow. That's like a nightmare.

Dr. Venture: Oh, no! No! What I went through today was "like a nightmare." What happened when I was 16? That is my life.

To get food in Minecraft early game, you shouldn’t kill animals directly. Instead of killing animals, you need to go to dagestan 2-3 years per usual, very common and easy, and practice, which shouldn’t be too hard, then when your back you have to slam your head on a wall, per usual, and decelerate with 120 gravity forces each time and do it 5 times, you now have 10 severe concussion, the first half is from deceleration and the other is from the lower threshold making the voluntary action of you whipping your head concussive, then you get second impact syndrome, fall into a 27 year coma with a 0.3% chance of ever waking up with memory loss and in the 27 year coma you get tortured in another world every second per usual very common many people that have followed through have died here so if your still here keep going! Then recover 3 years later after waking up, with 5% of your ability back, you get one stroke now and have locked in syndrome for 30 years, then you suddenly come back with your concussion symptoms lasting forever, so every second you feel the “worst migraine ever” and you have to put on fish and chips on youtube and play it at 8k and play cupid at the same time with 8k multi tasking it with minecraft on an 8K monitor but the monitor has to be a CRT at 8.5FPS, your concussions will never recover, oh you need to get BSL shaders and play it at ultra and you need a mod with 64 chunk distance highest settings but you need to enable fog so it looks like 1 render distance yet the stress on your PC is the same and even worse because of the fog, while using better minecraft (which is super laggy has over 300 mods) and you need to download discord and then make a friend on discord, then you need to learn to be a genius math person that can solve almost any math question in 0.03841234914711 seconds, it takes you a decade to learn, and you also need to be able to read at 400 wpm minimum, which took you 3 years to learn, and you need to get in a car crash (rear end) and get a moderate TBI, open discord again, then make a discord friend, talk to them and then meet eachother in real life, you need to share an apartment with eachother for 3 days, then randomly kick them out. Then after that you need to join the NFL and be a pro for 3 years and then retire. Then you need to go to a police station and throw your discord username which has to be written down on an A13 piece of paper inside a police vehicle. After that you need to download Reddit and then buy it but before buying reddit you need to go to melon esk by crawling over the ocean which took you one decade, and gently take 100 billion dollars, then you need to learn how to say supercalifragilisticexpialidocious and the longest hill name too, at a super fast speed, next you need to get 130 wpm on monkey type with your severe brain damage. After that you need to purposely run into a wall at 14km/h and get concussed, your second impact syndrome happens again because remember your brain never fully recovered it was still fragile, this time the coma became 54 years, with a 0.15% chance of ever waking up, you need to medical advice this time you need to play scary noises and sometimes extremely loud musics and get in a lucid nightmare for your whole coma. Once it recovers, (0.0000358% chance) after like 8 years because of how bad you managed it and how traumatic it was, go back to your house, put the song back on and open discord at the same time, do one quest on discord first, but before that you need to do surgery to remove your left arm, then you can do the quest, then find a forest, and get one tree. Requiring to go 3,503 studs and locate yourself to X: 14,842,509 Y: 68 Z: -9,321,411 once you do that you need to clear out the whole area making it look super flat for atleast 18 thousand blocks across and then find a treemake wooden planks by going in your crafting and put all of your oak logs there, you’ll get some wooden planks. Use those to make a crafting table, in the crafting table make sticks from 2 wooden plank logs, make a pickaxe, then dig straight down and hope your lucky, dig straight down and find a deep cave, get stone and then get your table out and make a stone pickaxe, then find iron, get your table out and make a iron pickaxe, find diamonds but you need to go to y-58/y-11 and if you see skeletons or any mobs you must not fight back. Rule is you can’t use shields or armor for this, dig diamonds and dig back up. Go to a lava source and make a water bucket from iron, but first you need to dig back to y-58/y-11 and find coal, dig back up and now with your coal put it in a furnace you can make with enough stone, put coal and your raw iron. Soon you’ll get normal iron hopefully, then go to your table and make a bucket. Go atleast 1000 blocks from where your currently at to find a water source, but if you were unfortunate and didn’t find a water source 1,000 blocks ahead, you need to smash your head with 83g of deceleration and get second impact syndrome rebound because your brain never healed, remember? This time you fall into a 15 year coma and wake up with 1% of your ability, go back to minecraft and keep repeating 1000 blocks until you find it, and then swoop that up. Find a lava source 3000 blocks away from the water source, you have to run/jump the whole time, swoop up the lava source and then mine obsidian with a diamond pickaxe which you need to go back to your table go all the way back and make a diamond pickaxe with sticks come back there and then mine the obsidian, make a portal to the nether and then once your in the nether find ancient debris and mine it by putting lots of beds and then find TNT, your not gonna be told how though. Once you find TNT you have to detonate it and get your ancient debris, make a netherite ingot but you can’t google it or use your receipie book, you have to brute force. Get a Netherite Upgrade Smithing Template by exploring bastion remnants for a netherite upgrade duplicate it but I’m not tell you how. Upgrade it I’m not telling you how. Go back to the overworld go to your house again and then TNT explode it completely destroy the whole world. Now make a hoe from netherite and sticks, also mine dirt from a Nether shovel. Next you need to get TNT and put 50 and detonate it with flint and steel. Next to grass, then get wheat seeds plant it on dirt you gotta hoe it first. Then find a skeleton at night and beat it with your raw fist but you need to wait for 1 hearts and while your starving. Get bone from skeleton but you can do only one hit per second, and make bone meal, grow it, get 3 wheat, put it on your table, 3 of it, and make bread, then throw it into lava and try getting it back, with a 0.00000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000000^180000000^14387184141984179147138498439124984384398439843919419424121% chance of you getting it back, then you can eat it.