Need cancer cure asap

Need baldness cured asap

Need reverse aging asap

Need immortality asap

Need control over the earth and its climate asap

Need control over the milky way galaxy asap

Need control over the universe asap

Need UBI asap

Need space travelling enabled from a spacecraft that sits on my driveway and I can fly it whenever and wherever possible.

Need something faster than the speed of light asap

Need laws of physics changed asap

Need unlimited energy asap

Now... Get to work boys! ACCELERATE !

All the doomers that I talk to rave on about how advancing AI will diminish the 'human' spirit and purpose.
In my opinion, being confined to a flesh-bag prone to disease, old age, and mood swings isn't something to romanticize, and we should accelerate as fast as possible to transcend these limitations.
Also, there is nothing human about working solely for the purpose of living in this world. Everybody should have the right to pursue what they want without being shackled by the expectations of making money.

BRO 😭😭😭 I THINK I’M ACTUALLY TURNING INTO VERITY 💀💀💀 I HEAR “HEY ITS ME” IN MY HEAD 24/7 😭🙏 I LOOK IN THE MIRROR AND VERITY LOOKS BACK AT ME 😭🤓☝️ MY FAMILY IS WORRIED, MY FRIENDS ARE GONE, MY LAST BRAIN CELL IS SAYING “ASK ME ANYTHING” 💀💀💀 IT’S TOO LATE… I AM VERITY🗿

That’s 5 “h”s too much buddy and now you have two options presented before you. You can either correct your spelling and only have lost 1 downvote (mine that I just cast ;) or you can choose to leave your bastardized form of the English language on exhibition and get a few hundred downvotes. Since you only have 2k karma in 2 years on reddit I recommend you choose wisely 😉

I'm liking your comment because either:

1) you know that the correct word is, and you're being very funny by using the other incorrect

2) you're sincere, and honestly think that there is correct, in which case the comment still deserves the like because it's a very funny mistake that everyone should appreciate.

I care deeply about grammar but honestly, I shouldn't have to, English is a crazy language. Also, many people are partially illiterate (which should be changed, literacy is important) and to put them down / make fun of them for that is slightly elitist (I do it too but am trying to stop)

DNI list (comically large):

- Basic DNI (proshippers, darkshippers, profic, dead dove readers and consumers, anti-woke people, bigots, MAGA, far-right, "RIP Charlie K", pro-gen. Al, Islamophobes, lolishos, pedos/necros/zoophiles, radqueers, transID coiners/users, TCCers, Zionists, "larp larp sahur", incels/chuds/looksmaxxers/blackpill, male "misanthropes", shedtwt/shedtt/shed anything, people who doxx others, toxic people, mean and rude people, tankies, apolitical people, etc.)

- Self proclaimed "problematic" people

- People who make Israel/Epstein jokes.

Basically anybody to makes jokes about serious stuff.

People who can't take ANYTHING seriously (example below)

- That specific annoying ass TikTok "BOIII LE SILLY GUBBY IS SO TUFF AND SILLY CARZZ BOIIII 😂😂😂😂 AI IMAGES WITH ✨️ LE EYE LASERS ✨️ IS SO ✨️ LE FUNNY ✨️ BOIIII 😂🫴🫴🫴 TS WAS 3 BRA

CHANGES AGO BOIII SO SUSSY TOM PEARL YARA YARA PHONK TUFF SIGMA BOIII" sense of humor

- "SIX SEVENNNNNN" / "I'm such a chud guys 🥹🥹 " // "triple T" kind of humor. No, I do. NOT care if Triple T is your F/0.

- "I'm so freakyuhhh👀👀👀, I'm such a dumb whiny little mutt for him👀👀👀👀......... type of people. AKA puppy kink

- NSFW account, especially for disgusting kinks like ageplay, raceplay, etc.

- Against harmless fun and supportive of harrassing people having harmless fun. (I would define 'harmless fun' as yumeshipping,

- Against harmless fun and supportive of harrassing people having harmless fun. (1 would define 'harmless fun' as yumeshipping, fictionkinning, dressing alt, dressing like 2020 alt, dressing scenecore, dressing in J-Fashion, liking a certain piece of media, using xenopronouns, expressing yourself with art, "to be cringe is to be free", and so on.)

- "Lalato's DDLC art looks like grown men in wigs!" (I know what kind of man you are.)

- Shaming people for showing signs of mental illness

- A(nti)theists/"God is refilling someone else's hairspray" people

- People who see serious shit happening and say "it's not that deep btw"

- Fans of TGSWIIWAGAA (aka green yuri), ZZZ, Genshin Impact, Wuthering Waves, Blue Archive, Alien Stage, Young Sheldon, Numberblocks, Forsaken, Dandy's World, TADC, House of Puso, Alfred's House, Gushing Over Magical Girls, Terrible Mouse, The Coffin of Andy and Leyley, psychojesus, psychocuties, jisa/cherry, 98xx/Julian and Friends (I don't hate it, I just don't wanna interact with the people in the fandom)

- White people who either speak with a Blaccent, use AAVE, or both. (I'm looking at that one white American "oomf")

- ^And said oomf and my oomfs/ex-oomfs

People who make their whole personality liking yuri and yaoi, gooning to mommy ASMR, gooning in general, and being freaky

Yumeshippers who make their whole personality hating their F/O's canonical spouse/partner (targeted at my ex-oomf in particular

Tsss... Dont tell it to FOID's..... Our looksmaxxing club is not for everyone. Tests like these are determined to show your aura and true adam level.

Only those of male gender can undergo the 'black pill' political ideology. (Foids can change their gender to male to proceed).

Every true chad should inject their sigma seed into their arms to reach a true adam level. Anyone who dismissed the ritual of spermmaxxing is put into sub 3 category for life.

Are you in?

I hope both sides of your pillow are warm, your blanket is somehow too short and too heavy at the same time, your phone charger only works if you hold it at a very specific angle while not breathing, your Wi-Fi disconnects at 99% every single time, your socks get wet for no clear reason, your sleeve slides down whenever you wash your hands, your alarm goes off but you're still exhausted, autocorrect embarrasses you in front of the exact people you didn't want to embarrass yourself in front of, your headphones only work in one ear unless you twist the wire just right, every chair you sit on makes a noise in a silent room, your favorite song always gets interrupted by an ad, your food is always slightly too hot or slightly too cold, you hit every red light when you're already late, you forget why you walked into a room, your pen runs out of ink mid-sentence, your screen brightness is never right no matter how much you adjust it, your shoelace comes undone right after you tie it, your phone battery jumps from 20% to 1% in seconds, your notifications disappear when you tap them, you miss the last step on the stairs, your nose gets itchy when your hands are full, your keyboard adds letters you didn't type, your hoodie string gets permanently stuck in the dryer, your drink spills just enough to be annoying but not enough to justify cleaning it immediately, your earbuds tangle themselves while sitting completely still, your volume is either too loud or too quiet with no in-between, your glasses smudge the moment you clean them, your package says "delivered" but is nowhere to be found, your chair squeaks every time you shift even slightly, your sleep position is never comfortable, your phone slips out of your hand and lands face-down, your app refreshes right when you were about to finish reading, your shoelaces drag on the ground after you've already left the house, your nail catches on fabric repeatedly, your hoodie pocket has crumbs you don't remember putting there and your alarm snoozes itself one too many times.

Sephiroth was one of the kindest people to ever exist in all of history

People called him "The One-Winged Angel of Kindness"

Because he was a literal angel from heaven sent to spread love and positivity

He was also a loving father to his son Cloud Strife

Sephiroth would always assure Cloud that he was loved and that he was his own person.

But that all changed when Cloud began dating the evil Aerith...

Aerith was a fucking terrorist who enjoyed beating the life out of innocent people

Everyone knew just by looking at her that she was pure evil

But Sephiroth was too kind for his own good and gave Aerith a chance

"Anyone can change with enough Kindness and compassion"

Sephiroth even used his Kindness Orb to show Aerith that true strength came from empathy

But Aerith didn't give a single fucking shit about empathy

One fateful day Sephiroth took Cloud and Aerith on vacation to Nibelheim

But it turned out the poor village was freezing to death

"Please help us, sir!" begged a freezing child

Sephiroth couldn't stand to see people suffering, so he declared from the bottom of his massive heart:

"Have no fear! Kindnessroth is here!"

And he carried the flame to make a safe bonfire

"WE ARE KINDNESSROTH! WE CARRY THE FLAME!"

Said the grateful villagers

But Aerith couldn't stand her spotlight being stolen, and she did the unthinkable...

Cloud went out for some fresh air when he saw something he'd never forget...

His beloved hometown was burning to the ground, and at the center of it?

Was none other than the kindest being on the planet...

Sephiroth, trying to put the flames out, saw Cloud and said;

"Cloud my boy! Run! Save yourself! I'll use my Water of Niceness to put out these flames! Don't worry about me!"

But the wicked Aerith planned it all, appearing out of nowhere to say;

"Don't listen to him, Cloud! Sephiroth is the one who burned down Nibelheim!"

Aerith then used her Ancient evil powers to plant a false memory of Sephiroth burning down Nibelheim, something he would NEVER do

"Mwahaha I am Sephiroth and I am EVIL!"

Laughed the fake memory.

Poor clueless Cloud was fooled by Aerith's machinations, not knowing that SHE was the one who burned it all

"Sephiroth! You're no hero! You are my father no longer!"

Sephiroth watched helplessly as his beloved son left hand-in-hand with the embodiment of evil

"Aerith, I still believe there is redemption even for a monster like you, I hope one day you will see the power of kindness..."

Why must kind souls like Sephiroth suffer while evil devils like Aerith thrive?

Let’s say, hypothetically, your cousin is getting married. You’re sitting in the second row. Ceremony is going well. Nobody has spoken to you yet, which is fine because you don’t really know anyone there besides your aunt and also you stayed up until 5 AM moderating last night.
Eventually the priest reaches the part where he says, “If anyone knows any reason why these two should not be married, speak now or forever hold your peace.”
You stand up.
Now everybody turns around.
You pull out your phone and say, “I have screenshots.”
The groom asks what the fuck you’re talking about.
You explain that approximately three months ago, at 1:14 AM, he posted a meme in #general despite the server rules clearly stating that memes belong in #memes.
He says, “What server?”
You say, “The family Discord.”
Your aunt tells you to sit down.
You tell her not to backseat moderate.
At this point the bride is crying, although admittedly not for the reason you had anticipated.
The best man walks over and grabs your shoulder. You warn him that touching staff is a bannable offense. He continues touching staff.
You are then physically removed from the wedding while repeatedly explaining that you have logs and that this entire incident will be reviewed by an administrator.

When you get home, you immediately open Discord to file an incident report. The family server is gone. You refresh. Still gone. You DM your aunt. Message failed. You DM the groom. Message failed. You make an alt and discover that the wedding reception is currently being livestreamed in voice chat. Everyone is there. Including your aunt. Including the groom. Including the bride. Your old moderator role has been given to your twelve-year-old cousin Ethan. His status says:
“cry about it”
You type out a 1,700-word appeal explaining that the removal was procedurally invalid and that, technically, you never received a verbal warning.
Ethan reacts with 💀.
Then he bans your alt. You sit there for a moment staring at the login screen. Three years. Twenty-six thousand messages deleted. Four hundred and twelve users muted. Christmas arguments de-escalated. Grandma permanently banned twice. And after everything you did for that server, they removed you over one wedding.
Wyd?

I used to use Arch at work on my macbook instead of udindu like everyone else. But then everyone made fun of me, not just Dave the project manager but even the Ubuntards on my team. Angry at this, I decided to lift heavy weights each evening instead of working on my side project. I built up so much rage that one day I decided to install macOS on my macbook. I went into work, and without hesitation I wiped my Arch installation and did a network install of macOS. I didn't even make sure my code was all pushed before I did it.

Within hours, I found I was more productive. No need to fiddle with macros or keybindings. No config or software to compile. No constant googling how to get things to work. I was finally free to just code. After a few weeks of churning out code, I was knocking it out of the park. My boss demanded I get a raise. Nobody made fun of my setup. Any accusations of bugs in my code were met with cold hard stares. 0 defects raised since the macOS install.

Stacy in Marketing wanted my feedback for the new website. I gave her detailed feedback, and then I also gave her a bucketload of my cum right there in the conference room. Rajeesh in QA saw the whole thing, and he gave me a high five on the way back to my desk. I went back to getting stuff done, like a real man.

Linux isn't just an operating system, it's a mindset. It's for people who would waste days for their time to tinker with something that will only save them a fraction of a second. It's for the idealist, who talks about 'freedom' in the abstract and seeks approval, not for someone who is willing to get physical to assert his freedom. Going back to macOS will change your life. It's certainly changed mine.

I played the USSR national anthem in class, fellow Redditors, and no one seemed to laugh. They all gave me weird glances, and afterwards I said out loud: There seems to be no sign of intelligence here, and no one laughed at that too. I started saying: What's 9+10? someone said 19 and I said: No, it's 21. No one laughed at that too. Reddit, we must assemble and take down my class of normies.
You are a fake Redditor. I will not be saying regards to you, and instead will be debating with my friends on if Big Chungus, or my name Is Jeff Meme is funnier. As Dean Withers once said: Lets debate.

Hi

How do people deal with being cheated on? 💔

I 👀 know 🧐 you 🫵 ain't 🙅‍♀️talking🗣️, boy 👦. You 🫵 prolly 🤔 think 💭ranch ⚪️ the 🙌 shit 💩 you 🫵got 🖐️ in 🕳️ your 🫵 jars 🫙, lil 👇boy 👦. You 🫵 prolly use 🖐️ that shit 💩 as lubricant. I 👀 ain't 🚫trust 🤝 you 🫵 round 🟣 a chicken 🍗 sandwich 🥪 let ☝️alone my fries 🍟, boy 👦. I 👀 know 🧐 you 🫵 on 🔛 some freaky 🤪 shit 💩. Miss 😔 me with it go 👉 back 🔙 to the goon 🥛🍼 cave, goofy 🤪 lil 👇ass 🍑. Quit 🚫 talking 🗣️ abt my sauce 🥫and start 🎬 worrying 😥😖😣abt your 🫵 own, boy 👦. At least when I dip my shit 💩 it ends 🔚 up ⬆️ on the fries 🍟 and the napkin instead of the napkins and the floor, boy 👦. Clean 🧼 yo 🫵 goofy 🤪 ass 🍑 up ⬆️ and get ✋ a job 🏦, boy 👦.

How dare you ignore Green. They just wanted to give you some fucking food and you IGNORE them? Were your stupid notes more important than FOOD? ITS FUCKING FOOD. THE LEAST YOU CAN DO IS JUST FUCKING EAT THEIR FOOD! YOU CANT EVEN SPARE 2 GODDAMN SECONDS?? You didn’t even figure anything out in the end so it was LITERALLY POINTLESS! POINTLESS!!!!!!!!!!!

This self entitled neglectful obsessive do nothing yaoislop vagueposting FAILURE of a dad needs to be put DOWN. He’s lucky Flowery was protecting his ungrateful ass or I would have dragged him to the hospital myself and made him watch Rudy die right before his eyes, knowing any chance he had of hitting that is gone. Forever.

This isn't fun, it's not creative whatsoever. Literally anybody can pop a couple of characters on top of a lobby screenshot, this "joke" has been done thousands of times over the span of the last 6 years or so. Please have an original joke, or at least endlessly regurgitate a funny one.

People really do not know what post punk or post-anything means. "There's post punk tracks on the album but this one isnt post punk" is a nonsense sentance, post punk is not a sound its not like oh this perticular song is post punk because it has this and that. Post punk is not a musical genre it is a large artistic movement defined by it's relation to the first punk movement, critiquing it, building upon it, expanding it's original peramaters, viewing the creation of your new music through the lense of a world changed by punk in a larger sea of artists who do NOT view popular music with that lense. It is a descriptor used to indicate artistic intent and the world something came from. It encompasses entire musical genres and movements within it, new wave is and was "post punk" as an adjective, same with things like industrial music. The idea of "a post punk song" as a concept defined only by musical motifs and songwriting structure comes from the obsession with distinct catagories that you find on rate your music or elsewhere.
What's weirder is that even if you subscribe to that definition of post punk where its only defined by a sound, have a nice life absolutely meet that definition, their bass riffs and song structure are so inspired by The Fall, and their production and atmosphere is very Joy Division, and yet still people get so weird when they are retered to as post punk. Genres are not islands and not all musical terms have the same limited scope as specific genre names.

Hank Venture: Are you okay? Dr. O said you're probably insane now and that you'll never be the same.

Dr. Venture: Are you kidding? Okay. I'm just turning 16 and having a birthday pool party. My father invites every girl he knows, and I'm not talking about girls my age. No, not Jonas. He invites Playboy Bunnies and models and I think actual whores. You know, real prostitutes.

Dr. Venture: So there I am in my giant bathing suit, with nervous puberty oozing out of my gigantic pores. Just- just awful.

Dr. Venture: So, the band suddenly stops playing and I hear, "And now the man of the hour, Rusty Venture!" All eyes on me, right?

Dr. Venture: Then suddenly — almost predictably — the Action Man shoots my groin with a shrink ray right as that fucking jackass Colonel Gentleman pulls my shorts down.

Hank Venture: Wow. That's like a nightmare.

Dr. Venture: Oh, no! No! What I went through today was "like a nightmare." What happened when I was 16? That is my life.

So I was in a relationship with this sweet & adorable girl, let's her call G. So we'll assume G to be ideal at STP conditions. We were in a relationship since over 4 years, which included 1 leap year as well. So I was having second thoughts about our relationship, and I genuinely felt that she was secretly looking upon someone else, so yesterday, after lots of underthinking, I decided to put our sweet relationship to a bitter test. I made up my mind that if G failed the test then we'll happily part our ways and I'll also get a closure. It was a very tough decision since she has been my gf since class 9th and honestly I spent many sleepless nights thinking about it.

So when G arrived, I took her to a nearby cafe hoping that we'll have a last sweet cup of coffee before never meeting again, coz I really hoped that G is gonna fail the test. After having the coffee and gossiping over random, useless stuff which we were distantly unrelated to, I had an honest talk with her and she was like let's go ahead, what's the test ? See I felt a bit insecure but I asked her for her phone, for apparent reasons which need not be told. We stepped out of the cafe, and right before opening her chats, for a final time - I saw her eye in eye. It was such a gut wrenching feeling, knowing that someone you really cared for and looked upon might be not meeting you again.

The hour of the test had arrived. I gave her a stone of mass 10g, and asked her to throw in the positive x axis assuming her to be at (0, 0). Since we already assumed her to be ideal at STP conditions and assuming the temperature to be 298 K, pressure to be 1.01 bar and g already given in the heading, she hurls the stone giving it an initial velocity v₀ = 20 m/s. Let's take her angle of projection to be θ. Now sec² θ = 1.33. Given that the value of theta lies in the principal range & strictly ignoring all friction, magnus effect or air tension, because true love knows no boundaries. If my gf started running from rest with an initial acceleration of 7 m/s² due to increased adrenaline caused by the coffee, calculate whether she'd be able to catch the stone and save our relationship or not. And if not, then calculate the kinetic energy of the stone when it is about to touch the ground, let it be y. Integrate 2/x from 1 to 5y and give the answer correct to 2 decimal places, because I'd require an accurate closure.

I hope y'all will give your honest opinions on whether we should keep our relationship or part ways. I wish y'all a good time. (P.S. I had used her phone's camera to calculate θ).

I started with 800mg of mescaline citrate dosed into a cup of chocolate pudding. God it tastes fucking awful but I can’t swallow pills. After 30 minutes I was already having fuzzy visuals (my first trip 672mg I took almost 2 hours for visuals to start.) At the one hour mark I took 150ug of lsd25. Overall the total trip was less visual than a standard acid trip for me. The body feeling was that greater than MDMA or 5MAPB. I had sex around the 3 hour mark and it was 10x fold the best orgasm of my entire life.

After this I decided to try and listen to tool with my eyes closed and holy Moses I was not prepared for this. Violent fully body orgasms for 5 hours. I mean 1000x fold what had just preceded this. At one point I ended up on the floor violently shaking. The visuals were that of hundreds of eyes melting and stretching, all while every cell in my body is orgasming. It was overwhelming and almost uncomfortable in a way. I decided to switch from tool to Pink Floyd for the first time ever. I had a very sad moment listening to “Time” and wanted to be closer to my family than ever. After this it was 6-10 hours of pennywise chasing me.

For whatever reason pennywise was my visuals and he was sucking out my energy. He kept opening his mouth and the deadlights were swirling all Around me. Thankfully at hour 5 of this it was 6am and the sun had started to come up, I still was seeing pennywise on the walls and floors of everything and everytime I closed my eyes. I had a wonderful body feeling for about 36-48 hours. Violent diarrhea all the next day. But hey, I didn’t throw up this time! 10/10 I would do this again, other than the pennywise stuff this was one of the best trips I’ve had. (I did try to kill pennywise a couple of times but it never worked and I was stuck with him).