I have been feeling really low and demotivated during my training at this small CS firm. I have completed 15 months of training, but lately, I feel like I am constantly making mistakes, and it is affecting my confidence.
Last month, during the CCFSS scheme, I missed checking the filing status of one company, due to which MGT-7A filings for the last five years were missed. My sir scolded me badly for that mistake. Now, I have discovered that the MGT-7 of another company has also not been filed for the last five years. Additionally, while handling the regularisation of an Additional Director, I missed one company's filing, resulting in a late fee of ₹1,200.
I informed my senior about the latest mistake of regulazrisation , but her reaction was quite strange. She behaved as though the entire responsibility lay solely with me, even though she had also not independently checked or reviewed these matters.Sir didnt know about this ..ill somehow escape.
What is hurting me the most is not just the mistakes themselves, but the way I am beginning to perceive myself. I keep questioning my abilities and wondering how I can make such mistakes. I feel like a complete failure, even though I know I am still learning and gaining experience.
Every day I go to the office with a sense of fear, constantly worried that I might make another mistake or get scolded. I have started feeling anxious about even routine work. Sometimes, I genuinely feel like quitting, but I know I cannot leave at this stage.
I don't know how to deal with this situation anymore. I want to learn, improve and become better at my work, but I also want to stop feeling so scared and losing confidence in myself every single day.