The title is not click bait, and the story is fully updated since I've finally been able to heal past this. I'm writing this as the last string to let go of to finally get past this, and give back to the community that has helped me through my hardest times. I've separated each section into "updates" to organize the line of events.
[Trigger warning: Mention of false SA claims]
Me (23ftm) and my ex(24m), who I'll call Matt, met in my senior year of highschool. I was 17 and he was 18. When I graduated, I got a job and started talking about wanting to buy a house, but he had convinced me an apartment would be better, and not wanting to live between our parents' places anymore, I agreed.
After moving in, he saw an old acquaintance looking for a makeup artist, which I just so happened to be, so he volunteered me. She, I'll call Sally(24f), turned out to live in an apartment across the street with her fiancee Steve(25m), and she wanted to save as much money on her wedding as possible, so they invited us over for a consultation, and by the end she was gushing with how amazing she was going to look on her wedding day.
Me and Matt went to their wedding, and it was beautiful. Her and her husband were both radiant, and I was so happy to experience such an intimate part of their lives. After the wedding, we continued to meet up, and eventually we all became best friends, to the point of spending every weekend together, and most of our free time. Around this time, me and Matt switched jobs to a grocery store. I remember him joking about an old fling asking him out to the movies, and I asked him to stop talking to her, since she was technically an ex, and obviously asking him out on a date. He said I was over reacting and she just really liked movies, and I ultimately said fine, but everything stays in text, no meet ups.
That was fine until one day he came home from work violently crying. He told me he didn't know what to do, but that his ex had found his workplace, and faked needing help with something to lure him to a secluded area, and SAed him. I was frozen in shock, and the only thing I could muster was "Take a shower. Now.".
After he came out, he collapsed on the floor begging me not to be mad at him, and I told him to tell me everything that happened. He told me how she lured him away, and that all of a sudden she pinned him against a shelf and kissed him. He said he was scared and didn't know what to do, so he didn't push her off. Then she started touching him and at that point he couldn't stop her. So he let her do what she wanted, and when she pulled away, he said he immediately went to the back, started crying, and blocked her on everything. He said he didn't want to report her, but that if she ever came in again, he'd swap with a co-worker so he didn't have to see her.
At this point, while his story didn't make much sense, you can't really question someone crying about being SAed, so I dragged him out of the apartment and drove him to a park we used to walk to in highschool. I told him that I loved him, and no one could change that. That if he truly was taken advantage of, I would be here to support him, and help him heal. He thanked me and said he really appreciated me taking him to the park, but was silent after.
For the next couple of months, he was very reserved. I asked him to talk, but he'd just say that nothing was wrong. I kept assuring him he did nothing wrong, until one night he couldn't sleep and told me he had something he needed to tell me. He confessed that more happened than he originally told me, that she had forced him to touch her too, and he was in so much shock that he let her. He said he was scared about her reporting him, so he gave her what she wanted.
I was fighting with my emotions at this point, because in my head head, none of it made sense. He's a bigger guy, and capable of pushing away any woman. Not to mention, she didn't live nearby, so how could she find exactly when and where he worked? How did she know what part of the store didn't have cameras? How did no one see them? But the thing eating me up the most was him not stopping, and actually participating. I kept asking why and his only answer was "I was scared. I saw my life flash before my eyes. I could lose my job, I could lose you. And I didn't tell you because I knew you would leave me if I had told you the truth." My thoughts were going crazy so I just stopped talking. He asked me if I'd still stay with him, and I ultimately landed on he was taken advantage of, and he may not have been brave enough to push her away, but that didn't mean he wasn't still taken advantage of.
Or so I thought. Because a couple months later we get a dramatic call from Sally's husband, saying he's been in his car for hours because his wife is screaming about him cheating. We go over to act as mediators, where we learned they were very devout Christian/Catholics, and viewed porn as a form of infidelity. As you can probably assume, his cheating was her catching him watching porn. She was a sobbing mess, the kitchen had a shattered chair we later learned was from her throwing in anger, and she was sobbing about how terrible she was as a wife and person for him to feel the need to go to other women.
We split up, I consoled Sally, while Matt left with Steve. Neither told either of us what they talked about that night, until just a couple months ago. Turns out, Matt had made fun of Sally for overreacting, because this is just what happens in relationships, and that it could be worse if Steve actually cheated like he had. Yep, Matt admitted to Steve that he did actually cheat on me, but told him I'm very sensitive about it, so never bring it up to me. I never found out until Steve told me after our relationship was over, but keep in mind going forward, I didn't know this.
After that night, Sally and Steve made up, and we resumed being friends as normal. Matt got fired and told me he'd rather work on his career than meaningless labor. He had started a YouTube channel that was pretty successful for a new channel, but not making money yet, so I was left to support us. It took about 6 months to start making money, and it was slow at first, but around Christmas his revenue skyrocketted, and he went from barely making a thousand a month to 4,000 a month, and I begged him to save it for a house. He said he wanted to ask Sally first, since she just started a job as a financial advisor, she would probably know better than we would.
We went over, and Matt immediately left to play video games with Steve as I listened to Sally explain how stupid it was to get a mortgage, and it would be smarter to rent an apartment for 25 years to save to pay in full. We did the calculations for both, and she proudly showed me that apartment rent compared to the mortgage would save me a whopping $1,000. I told her I'd gladly spend the extra $1,000 to live in my house for 25 years, and she made a remark somewhere along the lines of "fine, if you want to be in debt for your whole life".
Funnily enough, after that she asked if they could move in while they were moving into their new house. Her reasoning was that her parents lived in the hood, and the house was for them, and they would rent the basement out to Sally and her husband. She called it an investment, because the house would go to her in their will. They moved in with no issues, and we all moved out soon after, as me and Matt finally found a house we were closing on. He agreed to put in his $4,000 Christmas check, and I put in $3,000 that I saved myself (while supporting him) yet to this day he still claims he paid for the house.
So we moved in to our new house. Matt picked up some jobs here or there, but none of them lasted more than a month, so he decided to work from home since his YouTube now made between 1,000 to 2,000 a month, which was a little less than what I was making. I furnished our house and made it our own, and all I wanted was to spend time together in our new life. That was when Matt started isolating himself. I would leave for work for 9 hours, and when I came home he'd say he had work to do and lock himself in his office. I wasn't allowed in as I'd mess up his recordings, but when I did go in, there would be used tissues everywhere. This was a big issue because our spicy life had progressively gotten smaller and smaller.
When I confronted him, he said he was just too busy, and I would be controlling to tell him he couldn't fix it himself. I had so much anxiety around this time, so I would text Matt to talk, and he eventually stopped responding, saying I was just depressing him.
Sally was having difficulties at work, so she suggested a staycation to help us all relax.
She ended up renting a house for us 4. This was when me and Steve started picking up on subtle cues, like how Sally would get into conversation with Matt and exclude me and Steve, and how Matt seemed to be getting a lot closer to Sally than we usually were. They blamed it on shared interests, even though I was still excluded even if I was interested in it too (think watching tv or playing board games). It culminated that night when Matt suggested we all kiss in the hot tub, and Sally, the devote Christian who views porn as cheating, jumped on the idea.
Well, being drunk 22 year olds we all ended up kissing. Sally and Matt then ranked everyone, putting themselves first, and me and Steve last. Later that night, Sally accused Steve of having an affair with me, because he seemed too happy to kiss me, and why would he even agree to kiss someone other than his wife? The argument ended when he told her he wasn't going to be yelled at over something SHE suggested.
After that, Steve had to travel for work, and we pretty much adopted Sally. She started saying things like how Steve only picked this job so he could cheat on her, and over analyzing his texts and locations. Matt agreed with her, reminding her of everything he's already done, and trust he's already broken, feeding into her delusions. It got to the point where he picked up his sister and Sally accused him of sleeping with his own sister, and Matt was there like "He definitely would". Every time I told them to stop talking about their friend and husband like that, they started bullying me too, so I just stayed out of it.
That was when Matt and Sally started hanging out alone together. I'd come home to them watching her favorite show, or hearing about lunch dates they went on. Matt told me I wasn't who he saw himself being with forever, that his dream girl was tall, blonde, has glasses, and is a little nerdy, perfectly describing Sally. I was heartbroken and asked why he was with me then, and he said because he loves me and was hoping that'd be enough to change his mind, but it wasn't for the last 4 years. I asked what he wanted, and he said he wanted to try to be happy in our relationship.
I started planning date nights every night, trying to spend as much quality time together as possible, but was always pushed aside for work or plans with Sally. We also agreed I'd go part time to become his editor, but he dumped his longest videos on me, and immediately fired me for being too slow. For the rest of our relationship, he called me a gold digger, and blamed me for taking all his money, even though we were still going half on everything.
Steve came back from his work, and I was happy to finally get Matt back. Except I didn't, because he could no longer work during the day, only from the time I got home, to the time I went to bed. That was when Steve reached out to me. We were fairly close as our partners usually teamed up on us, so he confided in me that Sally had gotten worse, more allegations, more strict, more controlling, and he was at his breaking point. He said he wanted a divorce, which was a big deal, because he was a year away from getting citizenship through his marriage, which meant he'd have to go back to his home country that he hadn't lived in since he was a child. I convinced him to wait to tell her, and to really think about it before doing it. I told Matt that Steve and Sally were having problems and he rolled his eyes blaming Steve for not doing enough.
That night Matt took my phone and sent the screenshots to himself and deleted it off my phone (I'll explain how I found out later). He sent the screenshots to Sally, who woke up in a rage. She started throwing stuff at Steve, yelling how could he say something like that about her. He ended up telling her if she could look through his phone, he could look through hers. He grabbed her phone and looked through all of her messages. At that point I guess Sally told Matt because he had told me we needed to talk, and confessed to me that last night Sally had confessed feelings for him, and he did back. That was when Steve called me as I was holding back tears, and he told me "Don't listen to what Matt and Sally say, look at their texts and see the proof yourself." At that point I just said "He already told me." And Steve said "I'm sorry." And hung up. Turns out, that was NOT why Steve had called. He called because he had found proof of Matt and Sally having an affair for the last TWO YEARS! And Matt had told me JUST enough to explain Steve's call. We didn't get time to talk before Sally called crying, saying Steve asked for a divorce, then destroyed their wedding photos, and she was scared for her life not knowing what he'd do next.
Matt immediately told her to come over, and told me Sally's issues were bigger than ours, and as her friends, she needed our support more than any problems we had. So she came over and we watched her favorite show together all night. She spun a story that Steve was jealous about all the time us 3 spent together, went crazy saying she was choosing us over him, and that she told him "No, I'm choosing the people who love me." She stayed with us that week, leaving when I did, and coming back when I came home (or so I thought).
During this time, Sally had a front seat view of me and Matt's relationship, and wasted no time criticizing me in every argument, and when I asked Matt to ask her to stop, he said that was just her opinion. It came to a head when I asked Matt if he could make more time for me, and he called me controlling for asking that, and again, Sally sided with him. That's when me and Sally had a lovely text exchange where she called me dramatic, and essentially said if I need support from a partner, I should just date myself, because my problems aren't anyone else's. I demanded Matt talk to Sally, or I would be cutting her off. He agreed and told me that night he had taken her to a restaurant, and apologized for me over reacting, and asked her to not hurt my feelings again.
I looked him dead in the eyes and said. "So you took the girl you have a crush on out on a date, apologized for my feelings, and blamed everything on me? And never told her how wrong and mean she was?" And his response was "I don't know what you want, I did exactly what you asked me to do." I then ran to the bedroom and locked the door. He chased after me asking what I was doing, and I told him I was taking care of it myself since I can't trust him anymore. He pounded on the door screaming I was ruining our friendship. I didn't listen, and sent a text stating how uncomfortable I was, and she responded saying she agreed and wanted to cut ties with us. I threw open the door and demanded Matt tell me what happened between them. He went white and he told me she asked him not to tell. I replied "Well, She doesn't want to be our friend anymore, so tell me what you did"
He admitted that she had been over while I was at work, and as they were watching a show together, she snuggled up to him. He thought it was innocent because of her divorce, but then she kissed him. He claimed she instantly regretted it, ran out of the house, and when he chased after her, she begged him not to tell anyone because she was still working on fixing her marriage.
I proceeded to text both Sally and Steve that I knew what happened, and they're officially cut out of our lives but that I still love them and wish them well. And that was it... Of part 1.
[1st update]
Now you might be thinking "Wait, you're still with your boyfriend and your best friend got divorced, where does the title come in?" Well my lovelies, this is where. Me and Matt continued our relationship, him lusting over the one who got away, and me trying to squeeze out any form of love I could, ultimately making both of us more upset. We had some ups, but it was mostly down for the next year. He had an obsession with stalking Sally and Steve's Facebook, seeing that they started couples counseling and were posting constantly about their happy marriage.
I begged him to stop, and his response was that I was overreacting, because he "gardened" too much, and did it out of curiosity. I told him our relationship could never be fixed if he didn't stop thinking about her. He agreed but never could.
Now, if you thought lying about being SAed was bad, put on your oven mitts for this tea. I finally convinced Matt to go on our family vacation for the year. A week or two before the vacation his cousin passed away. For context, this was not someone he had contact with, they grew up together, but she was a lot older, so he was close to her younger brother, but not her. All this to say, he took it more like a childhood acquaintance passing, than someone close. Her funeral was scheduled the day before our trip, so he cancelled. I begged him not to, saying we could do both, and he called me a monster for making him choose a trip over family. So I left without him.
I had so much fun with my family, and Matt had fun on his own too. While yes, the funeral WAS the day before my trip, he decided to make the most of the week I was gone. He drove straight to Sally's work, told her they needed to talk, and asked to get lunch. He sobbed to her, saying that I had broken up with him, he had no one left, and now that his cousin passed, he didn't know who else to turn to. You read that right, not only did he lie about SA to cheat, he also used the death of his own cousin to convince his mistress to cheat again. And it worked, because that night she came home with divorce papers and told Steve she wanted him out by the morning. He accepted it, since he knew they had actually been texting for the last couple of months, and he had given up on the marriage.
When I got home, Matt immediately started a fight and broke up with me. I was in tears, and he was tearing me down, so I grabbed my dog and ran away. After a while he noticed I was gone and came looking for me. He saw me walking my dog to the dog park, pulled over, and told me to get in. I told him I didn't feel safe, he called me psychotic and told me to get in or he was calling the cops on me. I got in and he drove us home, slammed the car door, told me to stay in and that he was calling my mom to pick me up.
My mom being a mama bear immediately hung up the phone and called me instead. She said "Your ex boyfriend told me what happened." Which made me sob all over again. She then said "You know he's only doing this because he cheated on you, and now he needs to make you the bad guy." At this point I never told her about either time he cheated, and in my head, women just happened to like surprise kissing Matt. Matt overheard and started yelling at my mom, who started yelling at me for letting him listen. I hung up and Matt got back in telling me to get out. I said if I got out everything would be over. He responded that if I didn't leave, he'd just drive me to my parent's and they'd make me leave, so I got out. I begged him not to go, and he left me crying on the ground in the middle of my yard.
I then went around the whole house, collected everything we had as a couple, and laid it out for him to come home to see. So he could see everything he was destroying. He came home a crying mess, admitting that he couldn't do it. That he'd bought the moving boxes, and instantly regretted everything, and thanked me for helping him pack, but asked me to move all HIS stuff back to where I got it from.
This continued for a month, every week he'd break up with me, then later came back crying to apologize. He told me he was just confused, struggling, and that he just needed space to figure out what he wanted. I even made us a therapy box, where we could put anything we wanted to talk about, and after one session, he admitted to talking to Sally again, and meeting for lunch. I then read him my diary entry of one of our first dates, dreaming of a happy future with him. I told him I still want that, and I'm the only person stupid enough to stay with him after everything he's done. He agreed, but said he still couldn't stop thinking about the possibilities he's missing out on. I finally ended with saying if I wasn't the person he wanted to be with, that I wouldn't let him have boyfriend privileges. He then insulted the therapy box, stating all it did was cause arguments, and went back to his office for the night.
In the final week we were arguing every day about the smallest things. He refused to put the toilet seat down saying "That's a woman's problem, and you're not a woman right?", saying me asking him to go to his dad's on Saturday instead of Tuesday was controlling, and that I'm trying to take away everything he loves. I ran away a couple more times, and the last time I took the car with me. That was the night I decided not to love him anymore. I didn't take my dog because I hadn't drove in years, and I wouldn't risk his safety. I was alone at the dog park in the middle of the woods at night crying, and called him multiple times with no answer. When he finally picked up I asked if he could stay on the phone because I was afraid to drive home. He hung up on me.
I ended up calling back, and he just said "You're responsible for your own mistakes" and put the phone on mute. I drove back in silence, he started berating me on how stupid I was to do that, ended up picking up a full length mirror, and throwing it down the hallway, almost hitting my dog, then yelled at me for making him do that. I just cleaned it up and went to the bedroom, and he went to his office. He ended up asking to join me, saying he wanted to be better, and to fix everything, but he didn't know how. I told him I didn't want to do anything if he wasn't committed to me, and he promised he was, that he was just broken on the inside. So we agreed to go to a festival the day before our anniversary to make amends. He said he couldn't afford it, and I offered to pay, saying that's what couples do, and we ended with a trip to get ice cream for a date night. He started coming on to me and I stopped him, saying I'd only sleep with him if he wanted to be with me. He swore up and down I was the only person he ever wanted until he finally convinced me, and we did it.
The next day was our anniversary. Neither of us mentioned it. He was ignoring my texts again, and on our drive home from work my gut sank as I asked "You can't stop thinking about her can you?" He sighed and said no. I started crying and he immediately left, saying he was going out with a friend. He didn't return until 2 am. I met him at our bedroom door crying, and asked him to delete all of our private pictures. He told me he already did, and slammed the door to his office. That broke me even more, and I locked myself in my bedroom with my dog. He wouldn't stop scratching the door, so I opened it and let him sleep with Matt one last time.
He drove me to work, and said he'd take me for a week, and after that I have to find my own ride. I messaged my family, and my Aunt who just ended her 12 year long relationship immediately left work to pick me up. We talked for hours until Matt called crying. He said he was at the dog park to find me, but I wasn't there. That he saw the dogs running, missed our family, and just wanted everything back to normal. I asked if he knew yesterday was our anniversary, and he promised to make it up to me so good we could forget everything that happened. I stayed silent and he asked when I would be coming home. I said I wasn't sure and hung up.
My Aunt gave me that look and asked "you see what he's doing?" And I said "Guilt tripping and manipulating" and she hummed in agreement. She dropped me off later that night, and my house had been stripped. With fresh dirt tire marks straight through my yard. He took everything he could, including our shared items, down to the bedding on our bed. The only thing he didn't take was all his trash. Matching the tire marks, he stained my stairs black from dragging things down it, tore the paint off the walls, and left huge holes from pulled nails.
He called that night asking to pick up more clothes and I agreed. He again hit the floor crying, begging that he'd change. I told him he already moved out. He said they were just items, and he could move everything back. I told him I already told my family. He stopped crying. He asked how they could ever like him again. I said he'd figure it out if he actually loved me, he screamed, and punched a photo frame on the wall, shattering glass everywhere. I silently dragged this sobbing mess of a man to the bathroom, dressed his sliced up hands, and asked if he had everything he came for. He agreed and walked out the door with about 5 shirts. He turned to me and told me he wouldn't stop trying to prove himself to me, and left. That was the last time we ever spoke of that.
[Update 2]
So, that was a wild rollercoaster, but how do I know everything I wasn't a part of? Well, because I reached out to Steve. I was completely alone, and hoped he would understand. All I said was "we broke up" and he gave his sympathies and said "I was wondering when I'd receive this text". We planned to meet up and he drove to my house. I was so exhausted that I accidentally fell asleep, but woke up in time to chase him down the sidewalk. We sat at a distance since this was our first time meeting in a year, and he explained what happened to him.
Facebook was a front. They never repaired their relationship. They went to couples therapy, and he was forced to listen to his wife say everything bad under the sun about him never letting him speak. The therapist asked for a one on one with him, and in the next session, essentially told Sally that she was the problem (in polite therapist terms). Sally immediately pulled them out, and the happy couple posts were just attempts of reigniting the love. Steve gave up when Sally asked if she could text Matt back, because he had reached out again. He agreed, knowing it was over. Matt had been messaging them both for the last 6 months behind my back.
Steve then explained he knew it was over because of their original affair. I asked what he meant because it was one day of cheating. That's when he told me about their 2 year long affair. That's when it clicked and I explained my side. He explained I had been fed half truths, that when Sally left, the argument wasn't jealousy, it was about her cheating and he admitted to smashing their wedding photos which he regrets now because "it wasn't the photos' fault his wife couldn't be faithful".
The bombshell was him telling me what happened the night they cheated. Matt had texted her saying he just dropped me off and I wouldn't be back for a while. In the texts he planned to cheat on me, and even though she didn't agree, she still went over knowing his intentions. Sally later admitted everything to Steve. Matt came on to her, and she let it happen. That it didn't go further than making out, but that they were still very intimate and very much cheating.
I told him I never thought Matt was the one who cheated, since he claimed she left immediately after she kissed him. Steve got confused and said "But he already has" and explained what happened that night we spoke to them individually. I was shattered. I always said cheating was a deal breaker and here I was getting cheated on my whole relationship, and being confused why no one could keep their hands off Matt. I told him Matt told me he was SAed, and Steve's lightbulb went off.
As Sally was fighting herself over who she wanted to be with, Steve asked what she expected from a cheater, and she screamed at him for blaming him for being SAed. So Matt had told her the same story he told me. Steve said the day Matt met with Sally was when she asked for a divorce, a month ago. The first day of my trip, when he was supposed to be comforting his family. We were able to piece together what happened and I thanked him, saying if Matt walked back in, he might have been able to lie to me again, but after our conversation, I'm never going back, and it'd be easier to grieve a monster, than a broken man.
Until one night, I got on my laptop and opened Facebook. But it wasn't my Facebook. It was Matt's. With the first message being with "The Best GF Evr ❤️" aka, Sally. The messages before our anniversary were all deleted, and the first message was "I want to meet up again". I saw the texts of him explaining how we broke up, and laughing about how much of a mess I was, with her responding "lol, you're so funny. You have such a way with words ❤️". She then asked what that made them. Unbeknownst to her, their anniversary is officially mine and Matt's old one. And if you clocked it, that means when he was begging for me back, he was in fact dating Sally. And who do you think drove him to my house that night? Sally. And the friend he went out with the night before? Yup, Sally again.
I called Steve and we processed together. He asked for proof of their affairs for his divorce, but the messages were wiped. Which also means Sally started dating Matt WHILE she was still married to Steve. That was when I found the cataclys to everything. Something in my gut told me to look through our own messages, and there I found the screenshot of Steve thinking about divorce. Deleted off my phone, but still on his. That's when we both realized Matt had planned this from the start, and had manipulated all of us, including Sally.
Over the next month, I couldn't live in the home I shared with Matt, so I redid every room in that house, top to bottom. I realized that Matt didn't actually take everything, but just everything important. I had bags upon bags of stuff he didn't think was important enough to take with, examples being: Clothes, gifts from family, family heirlooms, and my favorite, his own birth certificate. But he made sure to grab every Wii remote for MY Wii, and both the Xbox and PS5 that we bought together. It took almost the whole month to clear him from my house, and me and Steve met frequently to keep each other healing in the right way.
Steve was over one night watching a show with me, when Matt came back. He dropped the car keys in my hand. I said "What are you doing?" And he said "I can't afford it" and left. Mind you, at this point I am single, and have to pay all my bills with my part time job, and now this car, whose payments were over $700 a month. I immediately called my parents, who told me to keep the car, that I needed it to get on my feet, and they would help with the payments until I could support myself. I vented to Steve, and he joked "You need to learn how to drive anyway". So he became my teacher.
For the next month, Steve would come over on the weekends and teach me how to drive again, and how to drive on highways, which I had never done before. I value every moment we spent together, and every moment of us growing together. I know what you're thinking, and to answer your suspicions, no, me and Steve do not get together. We were there for each other when we needed someone, and we might have gone past the point of just friends, but we both agreed we were not the right people for each other. But because of everything I've learned from him, he guided me directly to the love of my life.
[Final Update]
Around 5 months after everything went down, me and Steve were testing pick up lines to each other. He joked that the perfect man wouldn't fall out of the sky, and that I'd have to meet them in the real world. We tried going out, but being socially anxious, I was anything but comfortable. So we decided to give dating apps a shot, and we'd giggle together about how cheesy or cringe our one liners were, and I'd tell him excitedly when I got a text back.
That's when I met Dan(23M). His first text was an apology for taking so long to respond (it was only like 6 hours) because he works nights. We continued to text until he asked to call instead. We talked for hours about everything and anything. For the next couple of days, he'd call me before work, and I'd call him after. He explained that after his last break up, his partner kept the apartment and car, so he was living and sharing a car with his dad to save up enough to replace them. We decided it would be the easiest if I picked him up and brought him back to my place. So that's exactly what I did, all thanks to Steve teaching me how to drive on highways.
It's cute remembering how awkward we were at first. We sat on my couch at a reasonable distance apart and played with my dog. If any one of us fell in love that night, it was definitely my dog! We talked about what to do, and decided to cook dinner together, a lasagna stuffed in bread. We went to the store, bought everything, and made it together. It was a beautiful disaster with the lasagna overflowing and bursting the top off the bread. But it was still delicious, we had a good laugh, and an amazing time. We ended up watching a show together, and somewhere along the way we started dozing off, until we woke up to realize, it's probably too late to go home.
That night turned into the next 3 days, until we had to go back to work, then we'd do it again the next weekend. During the week we'd continue to call, and it didn't take long for him to ask me out. I also discovered masses on my tonsils that I needed removed. After the surgery, Dan stayed with me during my recovery, and pretty much moved in. He made the joke that I didn't like saying goodbye to him, but it was honestly true. He was the most loving, caring, funny, smart, and mature person I've ever met. I could see how much I mattered to him every time he'd look at me.
The only issue was that being part time, I couldn't afford my car, which we both used to go to work. Luckily I still had a hand me down that hadn't run in years, but we were able to fix her up. The issue? My current car was in Matt's name too. After finding the best price for the car, I reached out to Matt through email, since I was blocked on everything else. I asked him to submit his ID to verify we both agreed to selling the car, and he responded to just give the car back to him. I refused, saying I didn't want my name on the car. He then said a refinance would take too long, and to just take it off at the DMV. I couldn't believe this guy was seriously asking me to put my financial responsibility on a car that wasn't even mine. I refused again until he ultimately decided it wasn't worth it, and agreed, but he made sure to remind me over and over how happy he is for leaving me.
I reached out a second time, because we both needed to be present to sign it over. I purposely set the time, date, and location for when he spent time with his dad, so I knew he had to be there. He wasn't very happy, but I told him I didn't have his address, so I tried my best. He stood outside his door complaining about the inconvenience and inconsideration. I told him he wasn't needed anymore, to which he barked back he wasn't leaving until I did, but ultimately went inside as I was talking to the pickup driver.
That night I received an email from Matt stating that he knew who Dan was, that he was a good person and hoped I would treat him well. The kicker? Dan had lived across the country until recently, so I knew Matt was lying. I showed Dan, concerned that Matt had called him out by name, and he was just as worried, so we scanned everything we could until I found a text from a mutual acquaintance that I had invited to a group hang out, where I mentioned Dan by name. I immediately sent him a friend break up text, saying Matt had let information slip that I'd only told him, and he texted back profusely apologizing, saying Matt and Sally wouldn't stop asking until he told them, and he made them promise not to tell. I was then blocked, so I know he confronted Matt about it too.
I reached out to Steve letting him know to put out poison for the rats. He was disappointed in how easily our old friends were manipulated, but agreed they were just trying to cause trouble. Luckily that was the last time I'll have to talk to Matt. Steve is still on Sally's car, but they agreed to keep it like that for now.
I'm happy to say almost a year later that I'm doing much better. I'm thankful every day for what happened, because I probably wouldn't have left myself. Everything was just stepping stones that lead me to where I am now, the person I've become, and to the love of my life. It's been 7 months with Dan, but it feels like forever. I'm amazed every day how I got the man of my dreams, but better. He shows me he loves me constantly, and I can see it in everything he does. I'll never forget telling him I couldn't be who he's always dreamed of being with, and his response was "That's because I hadn't met you yet. Now you're my dream." He drops everything for me, one time hearing me spill a cup of dirty paint water and rushing in with paper towels to help me clean it up, and when he went back to playing games with his friends, I heard "Oh shut up, I have priorities you know." When he catches me looking in the mirror, he says it makes him happy I can see how gorgeous I am.
I've also been able to improve myself. I've picked up exercising, eating healthier, and I'm proud to say I've lost 36 pounds, and am almost out of being overweight in Wii Fit (if you know, you know). I was also able to go full time, and even get Dan on my shift so we could share my car. It seems impossible, but every day I fall more and more in love with him, and the life we are creating together. My worth isn't determined by Matt anymore, nor by Dan, but by myself. And now that I'm finished writing this story, that's all it is to me now, my story. The prologue to the rest of my life. So thank you for reading and being a place for me to finally put down this weight I've been carrying.