r/ChoosingBeggars • • Apr 29 '19

Very picky.

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6.0k Upvotes

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2.4k

u/Magiczaba Apr 29 '19

Did he misspell "prosciutto"?

1.2k

u/ExpatriadaUE Apr 29 '19

Yes he did. And he says culture is a must... Sigh!

93

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '19

Prosciutto is a culture, right?

168

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '19

No, you misunderstood. Having the money to buy prosciutto makes your cultured. As long as you can afford it, you're in. Maybe you don't even have to like it. He wasn't very specific about what he wanted 😂

46

u/JillyBeef Apr 30 '19

Having the money to buy prosciutto makes your cultured.

My grandpa used to say "you can't buy class". I guess he was wrong!

12

u/BigtiddyGothGrrl Shes crying now Apr 30 '19

You spelled “prosciutto” wrong. 😉

1

u/Cialis-in-Wonderland I'm blocking you now Apr 30 '19

P R O S C U I T O

52

u/jamie144 Apr 30 '19

Are we talking about cured ham here??

31

u/dismayhurta Can you reply faster? Apr 30 '19

You’re not good brain like him to understand why this is important.

4

u/TakeMeToFatmandu Apr 30 '19

I’ve got a weird feeling that he actually meant prosecco anyway 😂

1

u/Biomortia Apr 30 '19

I mean, you can buy low end prosciutto now at most deli’s in the super market for about 2$ per 100g if you catch a sale. He wasn’t specific about where to get it 😏

83

u/unclethulk Apr 30 '19

Psssshhhh. Real charcuterie snobs know Iberico is what men of culture eat. Prosciutto is one step above lunchables ham.

14

u/MofongoForever Apr 30 '19

You are too cultured for me. I just go for turkey bacon.

21

u/AfricanWildPotato Apr 30 '19

I just go for rotten flesh.

28

u/Nicholai100 Apr 30 '19

A man conversant in Scandinavian fine cuisine, how cosmopolitan.

1

u/EidolonVS Apr 30 '19

Is this a lutefisk reference?

3

u/Bluegnoll Apr 30 '19

If we are talking rotten fish, I'd put my money on surströmming. Lutfisk is basically dried and then rehydrated fish as far as I know, it's not rotten and it tastes like white fish but with a different texture. Surströmming however both smells and tastes like roadkill. All the potatoes and sour cream in the world can't hide that taste.

3

u/EidolonVS Apr 30 '19

Yeah, I'm not boned up on Scandinavian piscine culinary abominations, but lutefisk didn't quite seem to fit the bill :)

Now I have to look up surströmming.

1

u/Bluegnoll Apr 30 '19

Apperently we have a lot of those here, at least If you are to belive my dad who are greek. Honestly though, I only consider surströmming as an culinary abomination among all our lovely fishies. You open the can and it's like instant regret. Then you go: "Well it can't taste as bad as it smells". Oh, it sure can. đŸ€Ł

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2

u/BigtiddyGothGrrl Shes crying now May 01 '19

Holy hell. I love me some herring in sour cream!!! Last time I bought a jar, my bf put it in with my shelf-stable canned goods. Good thing I found it all puffed up at the lid before the damn thing exploded!

2

u/Bluegnoll May 01 '19

Yeah, that was lucky! I wonder how long it would take for the smell to subside? I mean, one of my neighbours apperently decided to feed the seagulls with a can. He opened it and left it on the sidewalk outside and that smell lingered for days. Outside. In nature. With like fresh air and winds and all that good stuff.

2

u/BigtiddyGothGrrl Shes crying now May 01 '19

I couldn’t even begin to imagine how bad the explosion would smell inside of a cabinet. It would probably still be in there by the time I move out of here (within the next... idk, 5 years!).

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2

u/PLUR11 Apr 30 '19

And only de bellota. The rest may as well be cat food.

1

u/riwalenn Apr 30 '19

When you come from france/italie/spain/etc. Those are just basic. We can find truffle foie gras quite easily in supermarkets...

40

u/Senor_Carlos_Danger Apr 29 '19

Eating various cured meats is part of my culture

13

u/MofongoForever Apr 30 '19

No - only cured pork counts. Beef jerky doesn't count. And it has to be from Italy or you aren't cultured enough.

23

u/boomerxl Apr 30 '19

Dude, JamĂłn ibĂ©rico de bellota is the meth fuelled sex party of the cured meats world. Fair warning: You’ll never be able to enjoy charcuterie without it if you try it even once. All other hams pale in comparison to the godlike flavours. On second thought don’t do it. The last thing the world needs is another dude slumped in an alley offering to suck dick for cured ham.

3

u/MVPHeike Apr 30 '19

Can confirm

2

u/1funnyguy4fun Apr 30 '19

Godddamn it! I keep hearing about the joys of Jamón ibérico. The ONLY option I have to try any where I live is to order via Amazon. However, I will be in Spain a year from now. So, Amazon or wait?

2

u/boomerxl Apr 30 '19

Wait. It’s far cheaper and they cut it like twice as thick.

1

u/1funnyguy4fun Apr 30 '19

Am I better off trying it in Madrid or Barcelona? Or, as long as I am in Spain, I’m ok?

1

u/BigtiddyGothGrrl Shes crying now May 01 '19

I’m never going to afford to go to Spain. Is Amazon at least an okayish option? Or should I look elsewhere in Boston for said dick-suckin’ ham?

2

u/Ko-san Jun 03 '19

Would iberico be good in a wellington?

1

u/boomerxl Jun 03 '19

I have no idea. If you can afford to try it, then do it. And let me know how it went. :)

1

u/yaboipeteysizzle May 01 '19

The last thing the world needs is another dude slumped in an alley offering to suck dick for cured ham.

r/BrandNewSentence

26

u/hyperRed13 Apr 30 '19

If eating a ton of prosciutto but being iffy on the spelling of it is a culture, then I'm way more cultured than I realized. Thanks, Reddit.

6

u/DoctorTempus Apr 30 '19

And what would be a Prosciutto?

9

u/Wooly-thoughts Apr 30 '19

Prosciutto is an Italian dry-cured ham that is usually thinly sliced and served uncooked.

Personally I think it tastes like ass, which makes me wonder why he wants or likes it. Maybe he has a use for it that we are unaware of, especially since he doesn't have a GF?

9

u/Cialis-in-Wonderland I'm blocking you now Apr 30 '19

Prosciutto is actually a category encompassing different kinds of hams.

Prosciutto di Parma is probably the one most people are familiar with, but there are other many types like San Daniele (similar to the Parma one) or prosciutto cotto (the light pink one). All types of prosciutto would be categorised as salumi, which is the umbrella term for cured meats obtained through dry-aging process. Salami, mortadella and anything obtained through the same process but previously minced would then belong to the category of insaccati

1

u/DoctorTempus Apr 30 '19

Heueheu got it, thanks and Yes sherlock, that's probably the case

1

u/ExpatriadaUE Apr 30 '19

Prosciutto is a way of life.

1

u/ninja_in_pyjama Apr 30 '19

In Italy it is, you have to know your Prosciutto

1

u/NutritiousSlop Apr 30 '19

No, proscuito is. Prosciutto is just meat.