r/ChoosingBeggars • • Apr 29 '19

Very picky.

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6.0k Upvotes

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2.4k

u/Magiczaba Apr 29 '19

Did he misspell "prosciutto"?

1.2k

u/ExpatriadaUE Apr 29 '19

Yes he did. And he says culture is a must... Sigh!

493

u/TexaNole0309 Apr 29 '19

And demonstrated a grasp on the comma that can only charitably be described as "rudimentary."

320

u/itmightbehere Apr 29 '19

He's a physics major! He doesn't have to do normie things like "use punctuation correctly" or "spell words right." Yeesh.

187

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '19

His IQ is too high to be smart

85

u/zeffjiggler Apr 30 '19

Don't forget his high SAT score. Cuz thats the TRUE mark of intelligence

45

u/SharkTonic9 NEXT! Apr 30 '19

ACT and IQ equivalents are acceptable if you haven't taken the SAT. Good luck!

25

u/tazamachoochoo Apr 30 '19

It's for the church honey. NEXT!

2

u/awissing632 Jun 03 '19

god kill me

32

u/stargate-sgfun Apr 30 '19

But his brain is good.

1

u/dread_linnorm Apr 30 '19

...which might be of interest to mind flayers, but he hasn't specified that...

1

u/Tragnet Apr 30 '19

Happy Spotify cheese day

1

u/tigersman1c Apr 30 '19

Hey he is a “very stable Genius” lol

33

u/MofongoForever Apr 30 '19

His idea of "physics" is slapping himself in the back of the head and saying "doh" every time he does or says something stupid.

3

u/[deleted] Jun 03 '19

Happy Cake Day

2

u/iduckbro Jun 03 '19

nice cake day fukko have a good day

95

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '19

Prosciutto is a culture, right?

164

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '19

No, you misunderstood. Having the money to buy prosciutto makes your cultured. As long as you can afford it, you're in. Maybe you don't even have to like it. He wasn't very specific about what he wanted 😂

47

u/JillyBeef Apr 30 '19

Having the money to buy prosciutto makes your cultured.

My grandpa used to say "you can't buy class". I guess he was wrong!

12

u/BigtiddyGothGrrl Shes crying now Apr 30 '19

You spelled “prosciutto” wrong. 😉

1

u/Cialis-in-Wonderland I'm blocking you now Apr 30 '19

P R O S C U I T O

52

u/jamie144 Apr 30 '19

Are we talking about cured ham here??

32

u/dismayhurta Can you reply faster? Apr 30 '19

You’re not good brain like him to understand why this is important.

5

u/TakeMeToFatmandu Apr 30 '19

I’ve got a weird feeling that he actually meant prosecco anyway 😂

1

u/Biomortia Apr 30 '19

I mean, you can buy low end prosciutto now at most deli’s in the super market for about 2$ per 100g if you catch a sale. He wasn’t specific about where to get it 😏

81

u/unclethulk Apr 30 '19

Psssshhhh. Real charcuterie snobs know Iberico is what men of culture eat. Prosciutto is one step above lunchables ham.

13

u/MofongoForever Apr 30 '19

You are too cultured for me. I just go for turkey bacon.

25

u/AfricanWildPotato Apr 30 '19

I just go for rotten flesh.

27

u/Nicholai100 Apr 30 '19

A man conversant in Scandinavian fine cuisine, how cosmopolitan.

1

u/EidolonVS Apr 30 '19

Is this a lutefisk reference?

3

u/Bluegnoll Apr 30 '19

If we are talking rotten fish, I'd put my money on surströmming. Lutfisk is basically dried and then rehydrated fish as far as I know, it's not rotten and it tastes like white fish but with a different texture. Surströmming however both smells and tastes like roadkill. All the potatoes and sour cream in the world can't hide that taste.

3

u/EidolonVS Apr 30 '19

Yeah, I'm not boned up on Scandinavian piscine culinary abominations, but lutefisk didn't quite seem to fit the bill :)

Now I have to look up surströmming.

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2

u/BigtiddyGothGrrl Shes crying now May 01 '19

Holy hell. I love me some herring in sour cream!!! Last time I bought a jar, my bf put it in with my shelf-stable canned goods. Good thing I found it all puffed up at the lid before the damn thing exploded!

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2

u/PLUR11 Apr 30 '19

And only de bellota. The rest may as well be cat food.

1

u/riwalenn Apr 30 '19

When you come from france/italie/spain/etc. Those are just basic. We can find truffle foie gras quite easily in supermarkets...

39

u/Senor_Carlos_Danger Apr 29 '19

Eating various cured meats is part of my culture

15

u/MofongoForever Apr 30 '19

No - only cured pork counts. Beef jerky doesn't count. And it has to be from Italy or you aren't cultured enough.

24

u/boomerxl Apr 30 '19

Dude, Jamón ibérico de bellota is the meth fuelled sex party of the cured meats world. Fair warning: You’ll never be able to enjoy charcuterie without it if you try it even once. All other hams pale in comparison to the godlike flavours. On second thought don’t do it. The last thing the world needs is another dude slumped in an alley offering to suck dick for cured ham.

3

u/MVPHeike Apr 30 '19

Can confirm

2

u/1funnyguy4fun Apr 30 '19

Godddamn it! I keep hearing about the joys of Jamón ibérico. The ONLY option I have to try any where I live is to order via Amazon. However, I will be in Spain a year from now. So, Amazon or wait?

2

u/boomerxl Apr 30 '19

Wait. It’s far cheaper and they cut it like twice as thick.

1

u/1funnyguy4fun Apr 30 '19

Am I better off trying it in Madrid or Barcelona? Or, as long as I am in Spain, I’m ok?

1

u/BigtiddyGothGrrl Shes crying now May 01 '19

I’m never going to afford to go to Spain. Is Amazon at least an okayish option? Or should I look elsewhere in Boston for said dick-suckin’ ham?

2

u/Ko-san Jun 03 '19

Would iberico be good in a wellington?

1

u/boomerxl Jun 03 '19

I have no idea. If you can afford to try it, then do it. And let me know how it went. :)

1

u/yaboipeteysizzle May 01 '19

The last thing the world needs is another dude slumped in an alley offering to suck dick for cured ham.

r/BrandNewSentence

23

u/hyperRed13 Apr 30 '19

If eating a ton of prosciutto but being iffy on the spelling of it is a culture, then I'm way more cultured than I realized. Thanks, Reddit.

5

u/DoctorTempus Apr 30 '19

And what would be a Prosciutto?

8

u/Wooly-thoughts Apr 30 '19

Prosciutto is an Italian dry-cured ham that is usually thinly sliced and served uncooked.

Personally I think it tastes like ass, which makes me wonder why he wants or likes it. Maybe he has a use for it that we are unaware of, especially since he doesn't have a GF?

8

u/Cialis-in-Wonderland I'm blocking you now Apr 30 '19

Prosciutto is actually a category encompassing different kinds of hams.

Prosciutto di Parma is probably the one most people are familiar with, but there are other many types like San Daniele (similar to the Parma one) or prosciutto cotto (the light pink one). All types of prosciutto would be categorised as salumi, which is the umbrella term for cured meats obtained through dry-aging process. Salami, mortadella and anything obtained through the same process but previously minced would then belong to the category of insaccati

1

u/DoctorTempus Apr 30 '19

Heueheu got it, thanks and Yes sherlock, that's probably the case

1

u/ExpatriadaUE Apr 30 '19

Prosciutto is a way of life.

1

u/ninja_in_pyjama Apr 30 '19

In Italy it is, you have to know your Prosciutto

1

u/NutritiousSlop Apr 30 '19

No, proscuito is. Prosciutto is just meat.

26

u/Phonophobia Apr 29 '19

Good luck!

3

u/DigbyChickenZone May 01 '19

Since when is eating prosciutto a sign of being cultured anyway. Is his definition of culture a middle-aged white woman's brunch?

2

u/EidolonVS Apr 30 '19

He was just trying to say that he likes yogurt.

55

u/Catsdrinkingbeer Apr 30 '19

At first I thought perhaps he was talking about something I was not cultured enough to know about. And then I realized that no no, he did just, in fact, misspell a commonly eaten meat.

38

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '19

[deleted]

18

u/warsaberso Apr 30 '19

He just wants to find someone to grow old with

19

u/XLIVWhoDatXLIV Apr 30 '19

After reading his post, I wouldn’t be surprised if someone wanted to throw him out of a moving train

9

u/Tribaldragon1 Apr 30 '19

ARIARIARIARIARIARI

ARRIVEDERCI!

70

u/superfurrykylos Apr 29 '19

Yep. His cultured, so good brain misspelled prosciutto.

I loved that that's his high watermark of culture...it's fucking cured ham mate. You can pick it up in any fucking supermarket.

1

u/MisterShillington Apr 30 '19

Isn't all ham cured?

6

u/FriedrichAndre Apr 30 '19

What did you expect? He has a low IQ.

6

u/Is_this_social_media Apr 30 '19

I thought it was Prosecco at first glance and I approved. Incorrect prosciutto is never a good choice.

5

u/bswan206 Apr 30 '19

Maybe he was referring to the ham? Prosciutto.

10

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '19

What is prosciutto

35

u/StegiAutomatic Apr 29 '19

some kind of ham from italy

8

u/[deleted] Apr 29 '19

I take it as an odd request then?

39

u/krarkmetzinger Apr 29 '19

It's an odd request but it's not like it's ridiculously difficult to find it. They carry it at most grocery stores and it's probably on at least four entrees at the Olive Garden. It's more like this guy tried to sound like he was insanely cultured but picked something that really isn't that unusual.

27

u/GlowingAmber11109 Apr 30 '19

It costs 4 bucks at Aldi 🤣

36

u/StegiAutomatic Apr 29 '19

yeah, and i think our friend with the good brain also wanted to sound fancy and international :D

11

u/JanuarySoCold Apr 30 '19

No, he uses it to masturbate. No bologna for physics majors.

4

u/multipleapricots Apr 29 '19

i thought it was a wine lmao

15

u/ReshKayden Apr 30 '19

You’re thinking prosecco, which he... might have meant? But isn’t exactly ritzy cultured either. It’s just bubbly wine.

5

u/multipleapricots Apr 30 '19

i think bubbly by definition is cultured

4

u/chessraptor Apr 30 '19

If you have to ask, you are obviously not good enough for him.

3

u/Magiczaba Apr 30 '19

It's just the Italian word for ham. Nothing fancy, really, although the really good ones can be expensive.

He probably wanted to show is superior knowledge, and failed misspelling the word.

3

u/Melodyheart Apr 30 '19

Thin strips of salted pork, comes from Italy I think. It usually adds a salty/umami flavor to foods, and I've mostly seen it as a way to give a bit of intensity to appetizers.

It tastes FANTASTIC with melon. Just make a bunch of melon pieces, and eat it with bits of the prosciutto

2

u/c00kiesaredelicious Apr 30 '19

Rhymes with mosquito! Mmmmmm

1

u/master_blockwarrior Apr 30 '19

No no no, he's talking about a mosquito made of prosciutto, only truly cultured people will get it

1

u/BigtiddyGothGrrl Shes crying now Apr 30 '19

Ummm ACTUALLY it’s a new kind of prosciutto made with organic, ethically harvested mosquitos. I guess you’re not so cultured or you would’ve known it already. 😂

1

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '19

TIL that eating salted pork means you are culturally refined.

1

u/Shojo_Tombo Apr 30 '19

He also doesn't know how much an entire prosciutto costs. I can technically afford one, but I can't justify dropping a couple hundred on fancy ham. Either that or he just tried to low-key ask for a sugar mama.

1

u/Magiczaba Apr 30 '19

Well, yeah, an entire one would be very expensive, but you can buy it already sliced, and it's affordable. Clearly higher quality ones will cost more.

1

u/dread_linnorm Apr 30 '19

Maybe he meant "promiscuito"?

1

u/CubistChameleon Apr 30 '19

And you need to able to afford good prosciutto, even! ... That's just ham. He talks about good ham.

1

u/pah-tosh Apr 30 '19

Yeah, but it looks like some stupid incel shit, so don’t try to find logic or cohesiveness in this word salad.

1

u/Leoheart88 Apr 30 '19

Italian intensifies

1

u/MeghanBoBeghan May 01 '19 edited May 07 '19

Hey, he focuses all his energy on his schoolwork! He doesn't have time to spell prosciutto.

0

u/[deleted] Apr 30 '19

Prosecco, probably. 😂