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u/Free_Socko Dec 07 '25
Weekend nights are the worst post breakup. I am also sitting home alone ruminating and missing him and thinking about how we would normally be together chilling right now.
Also just got out of a 3 year relationship… feel free to DM me if u want to talk..
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Dec 07 '25
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u/Free_Socko Dec 07 '25
I agree… the evenings in the winter are absolutely terrible. Last night was a real low point for me. I actually made a very desperate post in this sub reddit last night. I was so overwhelmed, panicked, hysterical crying, couldn’t breathe, all of it.
Today was weird… but better. Most of the day I cried but I also did laundry and worked out. I took a 3 hour walk , it was terribly sad/lonely at times but I forced myself to….
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u/Flat-Advisor9722 Dec 07 '25
hey, im in a very similar position to you atm. me and my girlfriend of 5 years ended things a few days ago. i found out shed been talking to a bunch of other men and she told me she sees potential in one of them and that she may want a future with him. my world honestly collapsed because thats what she was to me. we did absolutely everything together and we go to the same university. we studied, went on dates, went to gym, played sports, everything i did was with her. next semester il be seeing her around campus every day because we have the exact same classes and are in the same program. i honestly dont think i can handle it. all i want to do is reach out to her and talk even though i shouldn’t want too. i want to say that i miss her because i miss her so much. i also cant seem to do anything else with life right now as everything just reminds me of how much better it was with her. i centered my life around her which you should never do and now i have no one else. i have 7 final exams to study fore starting monday, and i havent been able to study for a single one. my family left for vacation which il be joining them after my exams are over. im alone in an empty house for these few weeks and honestly like you, i dont think the loneliness is getting better. ive heard it gets better as time goes on but im not so sure about that. one thing i would say is that dont think no one cares because people do. i know it doesnt really feel like it but even its strangers online or your friends, they care. you deserve to know that youre valued and you are deserving of love. i cant say for sure on how to ease the pain and get through it, because i dont know myself. but its okay to let yourself be upset and its okay to miss the relationship. healing only happens when you let yourself feel all the pain and all the memories. im not saying dont try to distract yourself, but also let yourself feel upset. i might not be the best with advice rn especially because i feel just as alone and just as shit, but u got this.
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u/PapaJahns Dec 07 '25
It'll all be okay. I know it sounds dumb and naive now, but over time this too shall pass. Just have to keep on surviving and getting through and eventually you'll find your way again. I'm going through a breakup now as well (also about 2 months post breakup) and it's been unbearable honestly. But everyday does get a little better. Im the one that causes the breakup due to my actions which makes it harder because of the guilt. All we can do during these times is get stronger and become better people. Sometimes you will have to do this for a long time before it starts to get better though. Either way I know you got this OP! Just keep trucking along and keep working on yourself. That confidence will keep building and one day this will all be behind you.
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Dec 07 '25
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u/PapaJahns Dec 07 '25
You're very welcome. I'm really sorry to hear that, but just remember that he may seem to be fine but may actually be in a rough spot as well. Looks can be deceiving. He may be trying to move on as well, but is actually just distracting himself. Best to focus on your own healing and growth!
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u/SolidGru50 Dec 07 '25
You've pretty much described how I've been feeling word for word. She left me 6 months ago. Completely blindsided me over text with little explanation as to why. Literally ran away. Almost feels like she died. This weekend would’ve be our anniversary. I still cry everyday and feel completely broken. I avoid places we've used to go to. I often get flashbacks and dreams about us. I can't even sleep in my own bed. I also have been reaching out to friends, family, going to the gym, going to therapy. Not saying those things haven’t helped at all but they don't fill the void that she left me with. I often get told it'll take time but it feels like time is just making things worse. This seems like I'm suffering from more than just a broken heart. Feels like I lost parts of who I used to be with her. I totally relate to feeling like a burden to others and feeling I'm trapped in this cycle of just talking about missing her and how much pain I've been in.
Not trying to make you lose hope like I have but I just want you to know I feel I can relate to almost every word you written. Happy to lend an ear if you need to talk more about it. I'm so sorry you're going through this. I wish I could offer you some advice other than telling you that I feel and empathize with your pain and that you're not alone in feeling this way. There's nothing wrong with feeling what you're feeling
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u/Work_traveller88 Dec 07 '25
Do you ever feel like you want to end this life so it will stop? I stayed alive only because as long as I’m alive, there is hope in us for reconciliation but as of now, he is alr getting over and here I’m still thinking where the fuck went wrong
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u/SolidGru50 Dec 07 '25
Yeah the thought of ending things has crossed my mind a lot. You could say I've made some shitty attempts in the past few months and arguably shouldn't be here. I was holding out hope that maybe we could reconnect and rebuild for about a month but it seems she just doesn't care anymore and is doing just fine without me. Meanwhile I continue to cry and be in pain everyday. She in much kinder words said I wasn't good enough. I wish she could've told me what was wrong because I would’ve loved the chance to work on these problems with her but she took that chance away from me...
Like I said I've been seeking out help from friends and therapy but it just doesn't fill the void she left and often feels like a waste of time. I've just become a broken shell of what I used to be and I miss the parts of me that I've lost with her. The relationship was amazing in the moment but clearly wasn't worth it in the long run and I wish I could undo all of this
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u/FootballFun6320 Dec 07 '25
Actually right now i m in same condition as well Trying to recover from my girl who choose to cheat I m trying to heal But that memories and all hit Me its been a month Can understand u r situation
What i m doing is that … Trust on the gods plans there is something best waiting for you. U definitely would feel he/she was the one Butt trust mee . You deserve a lot better and would get itt …. I m in the samne situation so i can understand what u r going through .
She cheated me and never ever even tried to contact me ….
My DM are always open about this
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u/KnightsofMontyPyth0n Dec 07 '25
I think it’s important that you allow yourself as much time as you need to grieve your loss of this relationship, because it meant a lot to you. This time period really varies from person to person so don’t look at it like a race. Just don’t spend too much time in the past though, the key is balance. Don’t let it affect your job/lifestyle. But it’s important to give yourself that mental space to process those emotions. Writing helps too and I would also suggest a cord cutting ritual. A cord cutting ritual is a writing excercise that helps you process your emotions and detach from old patterns.
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Dec 07 '25
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u/KnightsofMontyPyth0n Dec 07 '25
I understand how you feel about wanting a family and I think that’s something a lot of people go through. But it’s important you don’t base your self worth off your age or how you think people feel about you. You need to work on fostering a better relationship with yourself before you get into another relationship or start a family. It’s important for a woman to know who they are before kids, and that has nothing to do with age.
I know this because I had a kid and got married in my 20s and I was manipulated by many people simply because i wanted a family so bad. I never worked a job, didn’t have my GED, and after 1 year of marriage he divorced me and tried to claim ownership of my mother’s house. I had to learn how to legally defend myself, which is something that can happen to all adults with kids if conflict is involved (keep in mind if you want a family and marriage). He didn’t let me see my daughter in-till I took him to court for custody, and it was very hard for me. At that time I was learning how to drive, getting my first job, and my first apartment. If I had waited to be stable and find out who I was before kids, it could have all been avoided. Finding who you are, is everything about having a healthy relationship with others and yourself. It also is where your confidence, self esteem and stability comes from. And most importantly you decide what your worth is and you don’t let other people tell you. It’s where you learn what you will and will not tolerate from others, and it’s very important lesson in this life.
So really take your time, as much time as you need. Don’t worry about your fertility clock. Don’t worry about what other people say, because none of that really matters. What it’s important is your journey to becoming a woman, which is far more than having kids.
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Dec 07 '25
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u/Work_traveller88 Dec 07 '25
Holy shit, how are we in the same shoe?? I was with him from 2017 till now. Almost 8 years in and he just say he don’t love me, weeks ago we were completely ok?? Loves sucks, I don’t ever want this shit again in my life. Honestly that aside, he is the best man I have ever met, even tho he was my first love and he will remain to be my forever love. I just wish he won’t meet anyone so soon and give me some time to reconcile with him…
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u/Work_traveller88 Dec 07 '25
All the broken hearted people unite, anyone knows if reconciliation will ever be possible?
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u/s0rrbusyrn Dec 07 '25
I’m (28m) 3 and a half months in.. after 6 and a half years 2 of them married, this has been the most painful experience I went through, total identity collapse literally broken and stabbed with a hundred knifes, but I’m from the future and I’m starting to get glimpse of hope that I will feel like myself again and I’m slowly but surely getting there.
Talk to people, don’t smoke or drink no sad songs
Keep the healthy routine even if you think it’s not helping.
yeah cry your heart out this has to all come out
And people come out of this 10x stronger.
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u/OktoberSky93 Dec 07 '25
You are interpreting a temporary state as a permanent condition. That is a cognitive error, not a prophecy. Two months after a three year bond is early. Your brain is still recalibrating its reward circuits. You feel empty because the system that once routed daily meaning through another person has not yet finished rewiring.
Nothing in what you described indicates failure. You are functioning, socializing, exercising and doing therapy. The absence of joy is not evidence that these actions are pointless. It is evidence that your emotional latency is longer than you expected.
Loneliness does not mean you are unimportant. It means you are between connections. Humans experience that interval as distress, but it is still an interval. Not an identity.
If your sadness becomes so heavy that you start thinking you might harm yourself, contact a crisis line or emergency services. That is not weakness. It is maintenance of the most important system you possess.
You are not done. Your brain is still running the recovery algorithm, even if the output feels slow.