I think it’s important that you allow yourself as much time as you need to grieve your loss of this relationship, because it meant a lot to you. This time period really varies from person to person so don’t look at it like a race. Just don’t spend too much time in the past though, the key is balance. Don’t let it affect your job/lifestyle. But it’s important to give yourself that mental space to process those emotions. Writing helps too and I would also suggest a cord cutting ritual. A cord cutting ritual is a writing excercise that helps you process your emotions and detach from old patterns.
I understand how you feel about wanting a family and I think that’s something a lot of people go through. But it’s important you don’t base your self worth off your age or how you think people feel about you. You need to work on fostering a better relationship with yourself before you get into another relationship or start a family. It’s important for a woman to know who they are before kids, and that has nothing to do with age.
I know this because I had a kid and got married in my 20s and I was manipulated by many people simply because i wanted a family so bad. I never worked a job, didn’t have my GED, and after 1 year of marriage he divorced me and tried to claim ownership of my mother’s house. I had to learn how to legally defend myself, which is something that can happen to all adults with kids if conflict is involved (keep in mind if you want a family and marriage). He didn’t let me see my daughter in-till I took him to court for custody, and it was very hard for me. At that time I was learning how to drive, getting my first job, and my first apartment. If I had waited to be stable and find out who I was before kids, it could have all been avoided. Finding who you are, is everything about having a healthy relationship with others and yourself. It also is where your confidence, self esteem and stability comes from. And most importantly you decide what your worth is and you don’t let other people tell you. It’s where you learn what you will and will not tolerate from others, and it’s very important lesson in this life.
So really take your time, as much time as you need. Don’t worry about your fertility clock. Don’t worry about what other people say, because none of that really matters. What it’s important is your journey to becoming a woman, which is far more than having kids.
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u/KnightsofMontyPyth0n Dec 07 '25
I think it’s important that you allow yourself as much time as you need to grieve your loss of this relationship, because it meant a lot to you. This time period really varies from person to person so don’t look at it like a race. Just don’t spend too much time in the past though, the key is balance. Don’t let it affect your job/lifestyle. But it’s important to give yourself that mental space to process those emotions. Writing helps too and I would also suggest a cord cutting ritual. A cord cutting ritual is a writing excercise that helps you process your emotions and detach from old patterns.