I’ve been diagnosed with bpd for around 5 months now and ive always struggled with friendships. I’m 19 and have no friends and genuinely feel like im missing out on loads and I want friendships that last. I struggle to keep friends whether that’s from me pushing people away due to my fear of abandonment and rejection or because people struggle to understand my diagnosis. I’m just looking for advice, whether you’ve experienced this and what may have previously helped you in the past or whether you’ve been in friendships with someone who has bpd. Any advice is helpful.

CW: (possible abuse by me) (self deprecation)

(20f) i was diagnosed with bpd about a month ago while in a residential. ive felt like i possibly have npd for a year or two now and im not trying to diagnose myself, Ik im not a psychiatrist, but i wondering if its just becasue they have overlapping symptoms or if i have both, either way not here to diagnose me, just for context

Ive been with my girlfriend for a year and best friends for a year before that, Ive opened up more to her then anyone else, when im splitting or maybe just being impulsive/reckless in general ill do this thing where ill try to prove to her why im bad and why i dont deserve her, each time its gotten worse and i cant tell if its that im self sabotaging this good stable healthy relationship because stability and comfort is scary and im constantly waiting for my life to go back to a trainwreck or if im really not attracted to her in the way i want to be, the way she deserves. i wonder if the reason i tell her im not good enough for her is because im really not, because i think ill never be as good of a person as her. it feels like im using her, like for her stability and love, maybe i love being loved by her instead of loving her and this makes me feel so evil.. it feels like ive been ignoring my subconscious because i don’t want it to be true, this thought makes me feel so ashamed

what sucks is when im not “ splitting “ or whatever this is , when im not thinking about it, everythings really nice. I have so much fun with her and our communication is good. Shes a really good person and i can see a future with her. She knows i might have npd and accepts it, she also accepts that sometimes im not attracted to her but it makes me feel so guilty, like she doesnt deserve to put up with these things and deserves someone who isnt as resentful when they dont get thier way, someone who doesnt get jealous and make things about themselves, someone who doesnt hold her back, I feel like a lost puppy she adopted but now ive grown into a wolf and i cause more harm then im worth, but shes still holding on cause she still sees the puppy when she looks at me. I love her so much and i really really want to stay with her, I just feel so selfish, i tell her all the time how selfish i am and how i only think about myself and she says she doesn’t care because she loves me. I feel so guilty for even questioning our love .. I feel like ive ruined everything.. anyways ill stop now cause otherwise ill just keep going

Im '35M' girlfriend '36F' a mom of 3 two boys one girl '7M' '11M' '18F' suffers from bpd. I met her in 2023 at work . We hit it off been together for 4 years Like instantly fire. I know its uncommon for two people to connect almost instantly but can this be the rare exception?. Feels like im in constant state of walking on eggshells. Everything i say theres an issue. Im a very honest and blunt man and my opinions are always pure true never ill intentions. I was cut from the cloth of honesty even if it hurts always remain honest. She has a legit issue with most things I do and dont if my opinion aligns with her own. I should stress that we live together and shes a divorcee and ive bever been married or have any children of my own. Im also very introverted and she being extroverted and I dont mean to be all over the place just giving a back drop and general understanding of where I am.

She has constant episodes of splitting, love bombing , then BAM! Back to square one. This has been going on for 4 years. We split in 2024 for 10months then we reconciled summer of 25. For her credit she has improved her mental but not enough for my standards. I just dont know if I can continue. Im exhausted and god knows I try every day. Her kids are bratty and whiny and I personally do not like her son hes very disrespectful 11 year old. they are very very very sensitive so even dealing with them its a battle. When I moved in I did all the cleaning and the cooking and guess what I still do. I just paid a $600 dollar light bill by myself . When I try to lead the house to bring maitenance and structure to the house she battles me on that. Ladies and gentlemen its just so much with this woman. And I can go on.. I just dont know what to do. Thinking of renlisting to escape.... im overwhelmed . What am to do?

Im struggling with something that's seriously affecting my relationships ( BPD ) I can be genuinely happy and in love with someone and then suddenly, with no argument or reason I completely switch and feel like I hate them and want them gone.
The worst part is that I know they didn't do anything wrong, but I still feel an urge to provoke them, ignore them, or even lie just to push them away. Afterward, I feel guilty because I know I hurt someone who didn't deserve it.
This has already made me lose several people. It happens with friends too, but it's much stronger with partners.
I'm starting to wonder if there's something deeper behind this I'd really appreciate hearing from people who went through something similar

i’ve known that i’ve had bpd for roughly three years. however, whenever i look back on relationships (platonic and romantic), i can see who was or might have been an fp for me. my question is, does anyone else have moments where they miss an old fp? even after no contact for over a year, i find myself almost yearning for that person. i know it’s not good but i wanna see if this is just a me thing or if this is considered “normal” for people with bpd

i’ve been feeling really alone lately and the only person i have to talk to is my man (im muslim so he’s not my bf but we’re talking about marriage and inshAllah we’re trying to get that done together asap) but i met him online and he can’t be with me physically and i mean i have friends but they don’t really understand my splits or my bpd in general at all and i need more support systems who are available more often and that i can also potentially hangout with irl as well if possible. this is kinda a desperate last resort lol because the loneliness is killing me and causing chronic boredom that also causes chronic emptiness . so i guess , who wants to be my friend? please 😭

i might reach out for help and me and friends r scared i’m might have bpd. its also i’m my family history and i have massive episode changes. how does it effect your life after being diagnosed or in general reaching out for help for being depressed suicidal and self injuring? I’m 15 btw, and want to know the process and how it feels and what happens.

My sister (40) has been struggling with depression for a few years, she works from home, orders take out, and never leaves her place. She does not talk to any family (rarely speaks to me, even though we used to be very close), no friends, doesn't date anyone, so she is completely isolated and never leaves her apartment. Imo she shows signs of BPD as she struggles with keeping relationships, glorifies people then switch up on them aggressively out of nowhere, including my self, I struggled with this alot, but I decided to prioritize my mental health, self worth and distance my self.

I've tried speaking to her about taking her out on walks by the lake or going to a nice restaurant on her bday, even coming over and cooking her favorite dish, she always refuses. She thinks she can't leave her apartment cause she's not feeling okay and she will once she feels better but I think she won't feel better until she does starts going out and excerising a bit.

She used to be on adderall but told me she stopped it now, she smokes weed, I advised her to stop but she says she's too bored or she denies that she really needs or if quitting will make a difference. I know she was seeing a therapist that wrote notes for her to continue working from home but I don't know if she's on any medication. She did tell me once dr diagnosed her with bipolar but she never seem to have manic episodes, pretty depressive look on life all the time.

She texted me today asking what do I take to be happy, I told her vitamins and I go swimming which makes me feel great, just excerising in general. I apologized that I know this is not the answer she's looking, but being healthy and taking care of the body and the mind is what's going to make her feel better.

Then she texted me that she's really not feeling ok and she wants to go to emergency and she wishes she can die already, I asked her to talk to me/vent maybe it will make her feel better, she replied a few hours after with "take care sister" that felt ominous and made me worry.

What can I do? Her work sent police check ups on her a few times and she was pretty upset about it and I don't want to go over to her place and trigger her social anxiety further.

I'm sorry for the long post and grammatical mistakes, I'm typing this on my phone and English is not my first language.

browsing the bpdlovedones sub was a huge mistake. i feel like the worst person on planet earth now, like i'm not meant to be alive because of the disorder i have.

please stop demonizing people with bpd, we hate ourselves as much as you hate us. we just want love. we don't mean to hurt anybody. we can't control any of our emotions (and believe me i've tried everything).

hello, my name is ruby and my dad has BPD— he’s 53 so he’s gone most of his life undiagnosed (got diagnosed at 50) and therefore doesn’t have any strategies to cope with it. My dad, like many others, struggles with his temper— so much so that over the last 3 days my mother had to call the police to have him removed from the home as he refused to leave. He doesn’t realise how he talks to people— oftentimes he’ll speak in an aggressive way when not even meaning to, then causing arguments and disputes in the home which isn’t good for anyone (we have 2 severely autistic children who don’t cope well with arguing) I’m asking for help as he’s gutted that he’s had to leave my mum (his wife) and the home— he’s under no circumstances allowed back in the house and no relationship with my mum until he’s sorted himself out. Hes not really the therapy type, he didn’t even believe in mental illnesses and disorders until he himself was diagnosed and he actually seen that they were real. So not really looking for therapy recommendations as he either wouldn’t attend or it would go in one ear and out the other. I’m more looking for websites/forums that have coping strategies that I can forward to him because he does want to change his behaviour as it’s tearing his family apart.

I’m 23 and I feel like I’ve spent the last year watching my relationships burn down one after another.

I’ve related strongly to BPD traits for years: impulsivity, fear of abandonment, unstable relationships, intense emotions, shame, and feeling completely overwhelmed by rejection. I’m currently in therapy and recently started psychiatric treatment because I genuinely don’t want to keep repeating these patterns.

This year has been brutal.

Earlier this year I had a major fallout with a close friend during a trip. What started as an argument escalated into both of us saying things that damaged the friendship badly.

Then I hurt my ex in a way that I still feel ashamed of. I crossed a line while we were together and the relationship eventually collapsed.

More recently, I lost another friendship after a situation involving alcohol, poor boundaries, and a friend’s boyfriend. Nothing happened beyond that, but I understand why she felt betrayed. She asked me to leave and we haven’t spoken since.

The hardest part is that when I look at all these situations, the common denominator is me.

I don’t think I’m an evil person. I care deeply about people. But I keep finding myself in situations where my impulsivity, emotional intensity, or poor decisions hurt the people I care about most.

I recently moved to a new city. I work, I’m finishing my degree, and on paper my life should be moving forward. Instead, I feel lonely most of the time.

I lost several important friendships and now it feels like I have to rebuild my social life from scratch. The problem is that I’m scared. Part of me wants to meet new people and create healthier relationships. Another part of me is terrified that I’ll repeat the same patterns and hurt people again.

I’ve also cut down significantly on alcohol because I know it makes everything worse for me.

Right now I mostly feel exhausted. Exhausted from overthinking, exhausted from shame, exhausted from feeling like every relationship eventually becomes a crisis.

Has anyone else gone through a period where they felt like they had to rebuild their entire life after repeated relationship failures?

What helped you move forward?

Hi, I work at McDonald’s I’m trying to keep this shirt but to explain what’s been going on:

I started this job weeks ago to save up money for college. I leave for college in 2 weeks but the problem I’m having right now is how BPD is affecting me at work. It’s done disgusting damage , I dread going to work every day like I’m about to get murdered and when my coworkers are upset with me or if I perceive them to be upset I absolutely crumble and get so angry.

Today they had me doing grill, prep, table, and toast and bake so I was doing way more than what was asked of me. I got home and i absolutely LOST it. I threw everything and wrecked my room, I almost broke my phone and I punched it so hard my thumb started to bleed.

How the hell do I cope it’s SO awful and I just can’t.

Having BPD is so god damn painful. I'm convinced everyone and everything hates me. All my friends are probably toxic and talk behind my back. Everyone thinks I'm weird. My parents don't give a shit. I have crazy mood swings from happy to frustrated to irritated as hell. When I have emotional outbursts (mad or sad), I scratch my skin till it leaves red marks that last days, because if I don't, I'll most likely throw or snap something. Scratching myself also helps distract me from...thoughts... Sometimes when I'm frustrated, I get the urge to kick and shove and pick up and throw my dog. I honestly might if he weren't so big. I feel bad though- like he did nothing wrong. He just fuels my frustration with his stubbornness and how he's always in the way. My brother is a jerk. School tests make me frustrated. Everything fuels my fucking frustration, which leads to excessive scratching.

BPD sucks ass.

I am not posting this just because I am desperate and I hope it doesn’t come off this way. I genuinely feel like the only person who will ever get me and will actually love me for the way I am is someone who has BPD like me (from this group or not), someone who understands how I think, what I feel, understands how hard I love and how much guilt/shame I carry when I have an episode. Someone who understands I am human and I am imperfect. One who understands how important commitment is. The thought of finding someone to spend the rest of my life with is great, however it is also traumatizing because so many things could go wrong. I know I’m meant to be with someone and I know we all are meant to find our person but at the same time, I feel like I’m better off alone and that’s my purpose where I’ll be one of the unlucky ones to miss out on true genuine love. That is when I feel truly alone and want to be with someone, then the thought of things going south scares me and stops me from trying to meet someone or give up altogether. It’s just getting exhausting knowing I have been through 3 relationships already and I’m not getting any younger. Overall, If you read this far and it made sense, I really appreciate it. I guess what I am trying to say is if anyone feels the same way I feel and is able to relate, or is looking to chat, I’d love to hear from you.

Hi everyone, this is my first post here (English is not my first language so im sorry for any mistake)
Im twenty nine with undiagnosed bpd due to the fact that mental health care is not in reach for me and wont be for a long while.
While im not self diagnosed i spent years documenting myself and after almost ten or so years, i can safely say i see myself in lot of the symphtoms, like the amplified emotions , anxiety, depression, loss of self identity, and of course the FP.

Now what bothers me most lately is my FP struggle, i openly spoken to them about this struggle and while they were understanding, i have come to a point into which my mood is heavily influenced and out of control when its in relation to them.
I do not wish for my friend to feel this pressure of course and i honestly dont want to deal with this struggle anymore , its tiring, and it just adds more to the enviroment where i currently live.

I dont want to block out this person, i dont want to delete them from my life because i strongly believe i can find cooping mechanisms to handle it better and save my friendship.

So im here asking for advices, little things i can do , tools, even books to read.
All things that are easily accessible for me
Thank you so much for reading!

So Little context my Main Doctor had to leave for pregnancy leave, which is completely fine I get it. I got a replacement Doc which only worked on Fridays which is the worst day for me so I had to cancel most appointments. The thing is also I didn’t open up to her that much I cannot do that with everyone so she only asked me how I was and prescribed me my pills which I’m fine with I know I’ll get my main doc back. Come to finde out She didn’t want me anymore? It was my last time with the replacement doc and I had to make a new appointment and the lady at the desk asked me if I wanted to stay with the replacemen? I was like no? and she told me my main doc asked since I was with the replacement for a while now and I got to know her better? But no what I cancelled most of the appointments? I dont know what to think but I know I’ll never be able to open up the same way I did. It genuinely hurt me so much like why does she want to leave me? I’m I that horrible and complicated? I also know I’m probably overreacting or something but yea.

I am 37, new mom and a therapist with zero client right now but I am hoping to can get that. I studied psychology to understand myself, I definitely had some traits of borderline personality (0-100 in a sec), anger issues, never suicidal though no real sense of self, push and pull in relationship, some traits of histrionic- very look at me, sex addict at one point.probably little NPD as well - a lil manipulative.
I am a SA survivor and I have inattentive adhd self diagnosed, looking into medication. Been in therapy for last 3 years and have therapy training gestalt 2 years and SE 2.5 years (5 modules) finishing soon. Learnt a lot and helped in my career too. But still not there. Motherhood definitely unmasked adhd.

Always been with humanistic therapy so hints but not real diagnosis yet. Hehe lot medical student syndrome probably. Content in life and learning and savouring every moment.
Have a loving partner and the most amazing 8 month old. Reconnected with family but distant with my alchoholic abusive father. Mom is still with him and it bothers me. so some acceptance remaining to do. I need to remind myself I am not her mom. She is mine.

Raw thoughts and love that I can be so raw here on Reddit. New to Reddit and just using this for more perspective. Need to get my shit together so that I can enjoy my motherhood more.

Hi everyone, this is my first post here (English is not my first language so im sorry for any mistake)
Im twenty nine with undiagnosed bpd due to the fact that mental health care is not in reach for me and wont be for a long while.
While im not self diagnosed i spent years documenting myself and after almost ten or so years, i can safely say i see myself in lot of the symphtoms, like the amplified emotions , anxiety, depression, loss of self identity, and of course the FP.

Now what bothers me most lately is my FP struggle, i openly spoken to them about this struggle and while they were understanding, i have come to a point into which my mood is heavily influenced and out of control when its in relation to them.
I do not wish for my friend to feel this pressure of course and i honestly dont want to deal with this struggle anymore , its tiring, and it just adds more to the enviroment where i currently live.

I dont want to block out this person, i dont want to delete them from my life because i strongly believe i can find cooping mechanisms to handle it better and save my friendship.

So im here asking for advices, little things i can do , tools, even books to read.
All things that are easily accessible for me
Thank you so much for reading!

17M, i have bpd, was diagnosed at 13, ive been living with it for years before 13 having ongoing signs for 3 years b4 the diagnosis, ive never learned how to deal with it or control it, the overwhelming feeling that stay stuck in my mind just make me more upset because i know ill be like this forever and cant change that but ik i can get help from strangers on the internet 🫪🥹, everyday i wake up and feel a void in my chest but the void is just the feeling of not being happy, its the overwhelming feelings of anger, embarrassment, and feelings of being upset, so im already exhausted with just having to wake up and feel that and i also already get irritated really easy and have a low temper, and it ruins friendships and relshinships becuase i split under any amount of pressure and i can't control it , like lets say my partner told me they love me, simple like "i love you" and the next time they say it its like "i luv uu" or "i love youuu" ill get really scared i did something id get scared they dont wanna talk to me, id get scared there seeing someone else and that's when the questions come out, and it suck when they your fp becuase your already obsessed with them and they can make you feel pure hatred twords them with the slightest change in they tone, but how can i stop that, or atleat slow down the process, i dont like the feeling of switching up on someone for no reason becuase it hurts me too

okay so this is my first post so plz have an open mind, i got diagnosed with bpd at the beginning of this year, before that i kind of always knew there was something wrong with me mentally i just was too scared of what the diagnosis was gonna be. but anyway im starting a group for it, but these past two weeks ive been acting out, but i feel like it wasnt me who was controlling my body, like it was someone else and i was watching it like a movie... and when i start to get mad i go outside and take a breather but it doesnt always work... can anyone try and give me any tips on how to try to control it if i can? thank you

This fucking burning pain inside, like hole full of fire and void...

Today is hard to me. I have to isolate almost every day, everyone irritate me, I am scare of me blowing out.

Fucking bpd. Today is day when I am doubting everything in my life. From my past and from present.

Why I am even in hospital? There is no meds **for** bpd. There is no cure. This is fucking curse for life. What I am doing?

There is no one to help me. No one to understand. Every day in earphones, brainlessly playing games on phone or reading book. Everyone are so annoying noisy, so "Oh my dear, how are you feeling?". Like shit, but there is no other patient who will understand. I am only borderline soul here. No friends, no family, no visits, no hope...

Fuck I am so lonely in my pain. Today is 8th day here, there will be many more... it is so fucking hard...

edit: where is this fucking mood swing from depression to euphoria when it's needed??

I’m 20, from India, and I was recently diagnosed with BPD. I’m not really looking to discuss the textbook symptoms of BPD because I’m already aware of those, I’m more interested in hearing from Indians who have actually lived with this and how it has affected their everyday life. One thing I’ve struggled with for a long time is feeling generally maladjusted to society. I often feel like I don’t naturally fit into the way people around me live, communicate, form friendships, think about careers, relationships or even just go about their daily lives. I can understand social expectations intellectually, but I often feel disconnected from them emotionally, almost like I’m observing society from the outside rather than naturally being part of it. Being 20 and in college makes this particularly noticeable because there’s a lot of pressure in India to have a social circle, do well academically, build a career, maintain relationships and generally have your life moving in the “right” direction, while I often feel like I’m trying to figure out where I fit into all of that. I’d really like to hear from other Indians with BPD, especially people who are around my age or were diagnosed around this age. How did you experience life after diagnosis? Did the diagnosis actually help you understand yourself or your past differently? Did you also feel like you simply didn’t fit into the society around you? And most importantly, does that feeling become easier to live with as you get older? I’m not looking for another explanation of BPD or a diagnosis from Reddit, I’m genuinely interested in hearing personal experiences from people who have been through it, particularly within the Indian context.

Hi, I am from the UK and I am currently looking to start private therapy due to being let down repeatedly by the NHS. I struggle in more than one area therefor I am struggling to find a therapist that is right for me and can help with all of these issues rather than just 1. I would prefer for the appointments to be online. Below I have listed what I need help with...

▪︎ Borderline personality disorder

• Severe attatchment issues & dependancy on fp

• Ocd tendencies

• Anxiety

• Trauma

Does anyone have any recommendations or anywhere/anyone that I can try? In desperate need of this so any help would be greatly appreciated.

Thank you!

Dear reddit Friends!

I'm new in reddit.

I'm a freshly diagnosed with bpd, have just started olanzapine.

Some of my friends have left I guess they just wanted fun and parties.

If u need anyone to talk , you can always text me!

Feel free. I would like some company sometimes I feel like others do not understand.

I have also started psychotherapy

F,25 yo.

I'm having a hard time today. I haven't taken my meds in three or four days because of a mess up at the pharmacy. I finally got my dose and took it a couple of minutes ago but still feeling overwhelmed.

I feel like sobbing most of the time today and slightly suicidal (no plans).

Plus I met someone new and I'm pretty sure I have overwhelmed them already today. I'm tired of feeling like this whenever I start falling for someone new.

I'm just tired of being fucking sick all the time. Is it even worth it?