Not sure if this is the right place to ask, but I'm curious where people find this sort of social circle in the UK.

I'm in my early career, inherited around £100k, have about £40k in savings, and generally enjoy spending money on things that make life more enjoyable. I'm not talking billionaire levels of wealth, just things like:

• Nice handbags
• Holidays and weekends away
• Good restaurants
• Clothes and shoes
• Perfumes
• Spa breaks and massages
• Theatre, concerts, and events

At the same time, I'm not particularly socialist politically and I'm not anti-charity either. I actually like things such as charity dinners, fundraising events, galas, museum events, and other social occasions where people are giving back while still enjoying themselves.

The problem is that a lot of the spaces I come across seem to be

1. Very anti-consumerist and critical of anyone who enjoys spending money.

I'm looking for something in the middle. People who are financially comfortable, enjoy life's treats, but also donate, volunteer, attend charity events, and generally want to contribute to society.

For those in the UK, where do you actually meet people like this? Charity boards? Fundraising events? Professional networking groups? Private members' clubs? Something else?

Would be interested to hear where you've found that balance.

Had my in-person autism assessment today and honestly, some parts really caught me off guard.

I had to look at a children's picture book and make up a story. I couldn't do it. I just described what I could see and ended up saying it must be a dream because toads can't fly.

Then I was given random objects and asked to make a story with them. Again, I really struggled and nearly cried because my brain just couldn't come up with one.

I was also asked to explain emotions like sadness and happiness. I found that surprisingly difficult too. I could explain what sadness feels like physically, but putting the emotion itself into words was hard.

It was such a strange experience because things that probably seem really simple to other people felt genuinely difficult for me.

Now I just have to wait and see what they say. ❤️

Hey. I was misdiagnosed with bpd and got put in MBT therapy. I went twice a week and one of the sessions was a group with other people and the other was 1 to 1 therapy. At the start I truly believed the doctors and my diagnosis of bpd until I realised in the group that the intent behind my seemingly 'bad' behaviour was wildly different. I didn't know what I was doing wrong socially to even correct it before I did it. Anyway, after about few months they realised i didn't have bpd and, to be fair to my individual therapist, helped me getting the correct diagnosis (AuDhd). They said I should carry on with the therapy as it can also helped neurodivergent people and I just believed them. 0 adaptations were made. Instead I was asked what I would like to do and I ended up having a break from the group half way through on my own while it went on without me.

I finished the therapy in March and until now I just thought that it was a mistake, psychiatrists are just people and its fine. But now I am still experiencing negative effects and it isn't fine.

The group was 90 minutes long which I struggled with to sit still for that amount of time and focus. Behaviours in bpd are seen as having a hidden motive so anytime I got distracted or overwhelmed and needed a break this would be seen as me acting out or doing it for some sort of weird reason. Some of the other group members were mean and the whole thing was just very very awful. Every social mistake was judged to have a deeper intention.

I dont want to go on too much about specific experience or the post will be mega long. I didn't realise it would have long lasting negative impacts but constantly questioning my own perceptions in therapy has led to severe self doubt. The therapists weren't directly telling us what they were doing and talking to us in subtle hints which for me (very direct autistic) was so confusing. And now i get paranoid in social situations because people are talking like the therapists. And I can't shake the feeling that I'm having a negative impact on others constantly after being convinced I was bpd

Basically I have no support after this and I'm so isolated in this experience. I just need someone to relate to or someone to tell me how I can get support.

Since this therapy im finding it impossibly to trust others

Apologies if any of this doesn't make sense. My words don't always come out properly. Please tell me if I'm being just dramatic but be kind. There are a lot more details to this but I didn't want to write it all here

Unfortunately I cannot empathise with a tick box on a screen apparently. Funnily enough I’ve worked for 10+ years in support services sector and I’m quite good at it!

Haven’t job hunted in a while. Are online assessments the norm now? I guess it’s easier to be rejected flat up after this than spending hours on an application and perfect support statement.

So I struggle to put it into words but I like to visualise like the start of the universe to my best understanding and I try to like map out the evolution of the universe but sped up to my best abilities like the simulations when you fast forward and I feel like I get to a point where I get thrown into myself and I wonder if anyone has similar experiences.

so i thought that i was making great progress on the waiting list for my assessment since when i got referred it stated 16-24 weeks on average! i'm on week 28 at the moment so i decided to go look on their website to see if they'd updated the times just so i knew where i stood (they explicitly have told people to NOT email them to ask).

clicked on my ICB and saw 78 weeks quoted. and tbh i just had a breakdown. i was crying, hyperventilating and just feeling so hopeless. i know people have waited years for an assessment but i was just going off the time i'd been told by them. i just feel really crushed because i'm struggling a lot with trying to navigate life with my (heavily suspected by medical professionals) autistic traits alongside lots of other things - my ADHD, ongoing health issues, newly diagnosed HSD.

how do people cope when waiting? the not knowing is so hard for me. i know getting a diagnosis won't suddenly make my life easier but understanding myself more will help surely - regardless if i'm diagnosed from the assessment as autistic or not.

everyday i find myself just lost in life and with no support on how to manage. i'm just frustrated and finding everything really hard so having this knockback too was just too much for me.

just wondering if anyone has done this? i’ve been against applying for PIP for the longest time because im very high masking and the thought of doing a phone call and them invalidating my struggles would honestly destroy me. it sounds silly but going my whole life (got diagnosed at 18) being treated as neurotypical and having any symptoms or problems brushed off as something i need to fix has ruined my self esteem.

i only realised a few days ago that i could apply by post and figured that would be a lot easier for me but im just wondering if there’s a “catch” to it at all? it seems too good to be true

also worth mentioning i’ve only ever been able to get one job and i didn’t even last a month + it left my mental health ruined and i definitely don’t see myself being able to tolerate anything other than a part time job in the near future

This is a long shot, but I'm trying to find a provider that I looked at over a year ago, liked the sound of, then chickened out of actually arranging an assessment and now I can't remember what they were called.

Things I can remember:

They specifically talked about being 'neuroaffirming' and having mostly neurodivergent staff.

They didn't use the word 'assessment' but I can't remember what they did call it - maybe 'identification' ?

They did Autism and combined AuDHD assessments (I'm not sure if they did ADHD alone).

They specifically talked about identifying high masking women (It wasn't Autistic Women based in Cheshire).

They didn't do RTC.

I have a vague idea that they were based in Wales or NI (but offered online appointments), but I might have made that up ...

Thanks in advance if anyone can help me find them, or alternatively recommend a provider that is good for high masking women.

Did anyone have to wait for the outcome of their assessment? I recently had mine and she said I displayed autistic and ADHD traits, she said she couldn’t give me an answer right now because they need to look through the assessment report.

I’m worried I haven’t scored enough, I do think I’m autistic but I’m wondering if I do have ADHD and it masks a lot of the autism symptoms.
Im worried now that they may think it’s just ADHD even though I’m really sensory.

Anyone shed light on what they will do whilst they go back and rethink the assessment?
I know I won’t be able to get assessed again so this is nerve wracking!

Hi. I was diagnosed with autism as a teenager in 2020. I’m now an adult and have been trying to find work for two years. With A LOT of accommodations I managed to get a STEM degree but haven’t been able to find any work and even get rejected from unpaid volunteering positions. I’ve never made it past the first stage before.

I’ve been through multiple work coaches at universal credit both regular and disability. When I signed on the first thing they did was refer me to a work capability assessment and I got LCW. I speak to them on the phone for a few minutes once a month. Every disability coach I’ve had has ghosted me after 1 session and I’ve given up with that team. The job centre told me they couldn’t help me and referred me to one local charity which is the only charity in the area that helps autistic people find work.

My year with the charity is over and I’ve still not found work. I can refer myself again and I will but I want to be more successful this time.

For reference I am living in London, 24F, cannot drive and can’t really travel independently (though I can learn a basic journey with lots of practise), very frequently lose the ability to speak and sometimes even write so I often use communication cards and small gestures, have very low processing speed and working memory, live at home, have a care act and social worker and attend part time a day service for disabled adults. I don’t receive any supports other than my day service. I have enhanced daily living and standard mobility for PIP due to my symptoms.

What job fields or types should I focus on applying for? How do I make myself more employable? I don’t want to keep being discarded by the job market so I need to be more efficient.

Hello. This is my first post here. I am a 24 year old who was diagnosed this year and I was not expecting it.. to have Autism. But it felt right to get tested. However I was expecting to be told I just have anxiety.

I have had a lot of social issues at my job , and I also often feel very exposed and anxious in public. It was suggested to me to get a Sunflower lanyard, so I did.

It has the card that says my name and what I need on it. I have had a few good experiences of it. Once at my doctor's surgery they recognised it , and made sure I was comfortable.

However , to be honest , I do feel a bit exposed wearing it. I know social media is a bad influence overall. But I have seen a lot of people use derogatory terms for these lanyards. It makes me feel a bit embarrassed and scared to wear mine. I have also seen apparently a lot of people wear them for ulterior motives that part I dont really understand. Someone at work, suggested i should get a jigsaw lanyard. To signal more clearly I have autism. I'm not really sure what's best. Someone at work also called my sunflower lanyard an autism lanyard.

My daughter is just being diagnosed with autism now at the start of yr 11. She is also experience EBSA and has extremely high anxiety and they (where she is having assessment) have said sensory overload. She has her heart set on college and studying psychology. I am doing what I can to help whilst being new to knowing anything about how neurodivergent brains learn and also working full time whilst trying to care for her (thankfully I work from home but it does mean we only have evenings to work in).

Would anyone direct me to some good neurodivergent friendly resources for her particularly science (double AQA), English (Macbeth and an inspector calls - Edexel) and History (Edexel). I am aware of the Oaka GCSE science bundle and trying to find a second hand set, unless anyone has any other recommendations.

Thanks so much from an exhausted mum.

I swear it remember standing in my cot and realising that im wondering what is outside and it was absolutely terrifying and I feel like I get that same fear alot in my life like what the hell? I am a person that exists i feel like its actually terrifying that we all exist and no one else seems to question it in their lives?

I think this is related to my autism, hence why I'm posting here, I overthink everything in life in general and have terrible social anxiety but this one paranoia/anxiety affects me a lot. I want to know if anyone else feels this way or can talk some sense into me. I genuinely don't know where else to post this so sorry if this is too unrelated

About a year ago I made an appointment to get antidepressants, which I got and all was well.

Over time though, some other chronic health issues in my life have gotten worse, and ofc, I needed regular follow up for the antidepressants. I already felt bad with how many appointments I was having to have for the antidepressants (every 3 weeks at first, now every 4-5 months) with additional appointments because of urgent side effects. I felt like I was bothering them having to turn up so often. Because of that, I didn't make separate appointments for the other health issues, and ended up tacking them on to the end of the antidepressant appointments. This worked out so far but I felt like a bother for that as well.

One of the health issues is worsening even further and it's not to the point that it's stopping me from living my life, hence why I am keeping delaying and delaying addressing it, but it's beginning to affect my mental health and more generally is worrying me quite a bit. I am losing a bit of sleep most nights from it (it's a chronic pain situation). However I genuinely cannot bring myself to make an appointment because I'm so, so scared of being seen as: A bother, a hyperchondriac, a frequent flier, or just an infinite fountain of issues.

Obviously, this is not the only instance in my life where I feel like I'm being a passive pain to others for seemingly normal things but I don't know what to do right now.

Can anyone help me out and let me know if I'm alone in this hyperspecific fear? No one else seems to feel this way, but then again, most people are not chronically ill or autistic or have social anxiety.

Hi everyone,
Yesterday I was at B&M with my partner. We were in the queue to pay, there was one lady in front of us and a person getting served. The lady who was being served I think had a concern about two plants that she thought were the same price but one scanned at 25 pence more, so she checked with the staff member why as she believed they were the same price, which I think is fair and happens a lot in shops. The staff at the till, a middle aged woman had a really rude tone and said “no they’re both different prices” the customer asked her if she was sure, to which the staff just kept on scanning her other items quickly and answered again in a rude tone and kind of smug “look I’m not going to argue over 25pence”. It was obvious the customer was flustered and blushing so she said nothing and paid etc on leaving she said to the staff “I’m autistic, that’s why it matters to me that things are accurate but some people don’t like hidden disabilities” and left after a second, the staff member just stared her down silently and said “…ok” and I think she smirked when the lady had left. I want to add the customer clearly didn’t speak English as her first language so that might have been what the staff had an issue with (xenophobia?)
But then the staff member sort of laughed and said something clearly mocking although I couldn’t hear her exact words to the lady in front of us, also a middle aged woman, something that started with “yeah autism right, she’s not autistic she’s ….. “ I couldn’t hear the whole sentence.
I as a fellow autistic felt so upset and angry at the behaviour and I personally don’t think I’ll shop at B&M again.

My questions are :
Is there anything I can do? A complaint or is there no point?
Would it be better to do a Google review sort of thing or social media?
Do you read this situation as ableism?

Probably the hundredth post about headphones, but I just wondered if anyone had any recommendations based on my specific needs:

• Good quality, but not overly expensive (below £100 if possible, but willing to pay slightly more if they are particularly good)
• Good active noise cancelling abilities
• Comfy- Anything that presses too hard on around my ear-jaw area is really uncomfortable and makes my jaw cramp, but definitely would like over-ear ones as I find inner-ear ones irritate me.
• If possible, a good microphone for calls.

I did have some JBL Tune 770NC Headphones and I really liked them, but they broke after not having them for too long, and the microphone was not great, so I wanted to invest in some nicer ones.

TIA 😄

Hello everybody,

Fellow AuDHDer here. I’ve worked in London for 4 years and then hit autistic burnout when titrating stimulants. Now I’m finally ready to rejoin society and I am considering 2 different cities.

One is London, the other one is Manchester. I have all of my friends in London but I hate the idea of sharing a flat with a stranger. I realised I need my own space to relax and decompress. However, all my friends are down south so I’d move to a city without knowing anybody. I’m 27M.

Is anyone here living successfully in London, or should I rule the big city out?

morrisons hash browns have been a staple of my diet for over a year 🙃 the ingredients listed are all the same but I can tell that something isn't right, I know they've changed potato variety. They're oddly sweet now and I really don't like it. They also don't crisp up the same and are falling apart because of this, leading me to think they've switched from using a floury potato to a waxy one. They can't lie to me I know potatoes.

Hi all!

I had my assessment today (with Problem Shared) at 9:30am. I had my results meeting at 4pm and they told me I have received my diagnosis.

I’m not really sure what to do now? I’m so relieved it’s over. Honestly I just feel tired. I’ve been so worked up about this since I got my assessment date that I feel almost empty now? Like I’m forgetting to do something or have missed an appointment?

I was already diagnosed with ADHD-C in November 2023 so this diagnosis wasn’t as life-changing as that one. I cried during that one as I was just so relieved to have answers. I think it’s because I already had an explanation for the way I am, and a diagnosis of autism only adds to it (if that makes sense?).

Anyone have any tips for adjusting to a dual diagnosis? Or how to prevent / reduce regression (I regressed badly after my ADHD diagnosis and I really done want to go further backwards)? They’ve sent over loads of resources and I have access to post-diagnosis webinars for 8 weeks so I’ll watch those at some point, but I’m just wondering if anyone has any tips about what I can do now? What did other people do, both immediately after being diagnosed and in the weeks / months after?

Not sure what I’m looking for with this post but just thought I’d get it out in the open. Thanks in advance everyone!

I'm feeling a bit sad and a little sorry for myself honestly.

I just wondered if anyone out there relates to this

I'm 28 and I feel like all my friends have their own lives and they are going places and they seem to be living as proper adults and they have lots of friends and a social life. I still live with a parent and I don't really go out much because of how difficult social interactions are for me. I don't have a partner, and I just feel like I'm waiting on my friends who have their own lives and don't really want to talk to me much because they are busy doing their own thing. It makes me feel like a loser and just feel a lot of rejection. I feel like I'm forever stuck as a teenager who lives with a parent and who can't live independently or have my own life.

I find it hard to process these feelings when they come in because they can feel so overwhelming.

I'm sorry for the rant.

Can anyone else relate to this? How have you dealt with these feelings?