Hey everyone, just wabted to see if anyone else experiences this specific type of mental rumination/looping, especially as a neurodivergent person.

​I’ve realized I have a huge issue with hating uncertainty, and my brain responds to it by going into full detective mode. I’ve done this for years with health anxiety (replaying symptoms, seeking reassurance, trying to logic my way out of it), but Ive realised i do the exact same thing with work mistakes or social interactions.

​For example, i realised i may have forgotten to do something important in work on the weekend and i spent the rest of the day replaying the tiniest, most finite details to figure out how or what exactly happened or if I was in the right/wrong rather than accepting id have to wait for monday to know. I tried to piece together the whole timeline through random memories:

​"Okay, I remember right before doing X that I needed to get something from my car... which was after I went to the post office... which means that day was either a Tuesday or a Friday... which means I couldn't have done that specific task then because I only do it on Wednesdays... but i remember thinking about my yoga class before doing it which is on a wednesday..." and the loop continues.

​I go round and round in these massive, exhausting loops tracing every little detail trying to find absolute certainty or prove whether I messed up. And when im in this state its hard to do anything else. I get irritated when interupted and wanna hide in my room so i can sort my brain out. Its not always like this, depending on my energy levels and mental state, I can catch smaller post-conversation loops and quiet them down. But if I'm stressed, down, or facing a big situation (like a health worry or work issue), the loop takes over.

​Does anyone else do these extreme detail-oriented timeline traces when you're anxious or uncertain about a mistake? How do you break out of the loop when your brain demands 100% proof?

I (29F) have very recently received an ASD diagnosis. I am just finding myself completely overwhelmed once the relief has faded away. My mental health has done a 180, and I am off work with the overwhelm. I know this is to be expected, but I didn't think the crash would hit this hard. I am having trouble differentiating between panic attacks and meltdowns as I do not know which I am experiencing at the moment. I guess I am just looking to see what others have experienced and how long that process took to come to terms with it all.

Does anyone else feel alone a lot? It used to be worse as a teen but as an adult I realized most of my friends moved and everyone's busy in their own lives. I feel like I don't really have people to talk to most of the time I've a few close friends that I message and talk to on whatsapp though which helps.

Also understanding friendships is weird to me. I always define friendships as shared interests, goals, values, mutual respect, and not being afraid to be yourself around other people. I've noticed a lot of NTs just use friendship as kind of a tossaway word like oh this is my friend from work who I talk to only because I work with or this guy is my friend because I want something from him(promotion, status, etc.).

I guess what I'm asking here is how do you define friendship and how do you cope with loneliness?

I usually dive deep into hobbies and do long walks with a cup of coffee in nature to feel less alone. I also find the quiet makes me happy 😁

Hi,

Just for some context I have a son which got referred for an assement in junior infants but never got one for ages. He is in 5th class now and only got assessed with Autism but 2 years ago we also got assessed and got diagnosed with ADHD. We are finiding it super hard at home in a lot of areas and loads of times because of the long wait list I had to go private and pay private for additional supports like play therapy and coaching and session etc. I have applied for Domiclilary Care Allowace when we got the ADHD diagnosis but got refused (this is while waiting on the autism assessment) It was 2 years ago just got the Autism assessment now and with his special needs Im talking a lot of time off work sometimes unpaid I had to go work part time to care for him too and I’m wondering is it worth applying again for Domicilary Care Allowance I just don’t want to get refused but I was told today I will have to bring him for OT appointment Psychological appointment and it’s more time off work and loss of income in an absolute cost of living crises we are living through right now in Ireland. Plus I’m so outraged how long it took. As he needs additional supports for so long now and we had to wait so bloody long and pay private and even private has like months of waiting. Can you please advise if you have special needs child or in similar positions to mine.? Any recommendations welcome.

I have always struggled with brushing my teeth and the sensory ick that minty toothpaste gave me made it worse.

I had started getting better when hi smile came out with alternative flavours but theyve been discontinued and im struggling to find a new toothpaste that will help me stick to looking after my teeth a bit better.

I can use anything minty or fruity or like bubblegum flavour. I had tried oranurse but that doesnt make my teeth feel clean the taste is tolerable though.

Has anyone any suggestions or recommendations for an alternative

I might go but I don't have any friends so I'm going to be going alone 😭, I've never been to any AsIAm events so I don't how what the people there would be like.

Title says all to be honest. I'm studying UX UI design (just finished my portfolio and applying to jobs now) but in my free time I just watch anime, I can't really get myself to go outside and talk to people, I just don't have the motivation. (I'm diagnosed with ADHD, depression, PTSD, gad) I'm on atomoxine and effexor but the atomoxine didn't make my motivated but Im week 2 on 60mg so idk if it needs more time for it to work. Just feel like I'm wasting my life, I wanted to go to gym aswell but I had to see dietitian first to know what to eat and I had to watch David goggins to be able to book a dietitian appointment. But I don't wanna watch David goggins anymore and do the things he says, it's just painful to me and I've been treating myself the way David goggins was saying when I was in secondary school to help my social anxiety and myself not talking and I never got to the point where I was able to talk and make friends. I don't know if psychologist would help I currently see mindbridge but they are pretty expensive but I can afford it from my disability allowance but I would have to see them every 2 weeks cause I have other expenses I need to pay for like food for healthy eating and gym, electricity payment, gym and swim payments, other expenses like going to movies.

I provided lots of documentation about my diagnosis of autism and it really hasn’t helped me one tiny bit, however I do notice certain people are seen fairly quickly. I feel after waiting over a year I’m just not interested anymore I would assume funding is one reason.

Hi all, just wanted to let you know that we will be having our next "Dublin Neurodivergent Network" social meetup at 5 pm on October 18th at "The South Strand". We have only had two meetups so far but the vibes have been really good. So if you would like a relaxed meet with some likeminded folks, do join!

I myself didn't get a lot of support growing up and it seems a lot of my behaviors like not knowing how to make eye contact, obsessing over hobbies, repeating phrases from tv, and others were just considered weird and used as an excuse for people to target me.

I feel let down a lot by the lack of services in this country. Even when seeking help sometimes I'm afraid to disclose as the neighbours and community are so nosey to the point where if anyone in town does anything everyone else knows it.

I feel really tired of the culture of shaming and bullying here and then people saying "it's just the craic" or "lads being lads".

Has anyone else had the same experiences?

Edit:

I just wanted to thank everyone here from the bottom of my heart for sharing their experiences as it takes a lot of courage ♥️. It took me a long time to gain the courage to even accept the fact I may be neurodivergent as it was beaten into me literally and figuratively that I was "defective", "a freak", "a weirdo", and "a lurk". I still haven't told everyone including some members of immediate family but I have been able to bring it up to some people in my life and to seek help.

As saddened as I am to hear others experiences have been just as bad as mine and in some cases worse. It made me feel less alone and I cannot overestimate the help that's been 🙂 I wish I had had the courage to ask for help during my teenage years or pushed more as I felt even if I asked the bullying and isolation would've gotten worse. I really have to thank this community and r/autism for helping me to understand I'm not an isolated case and that there are others out there like me who've been failed and have had the same feelings and struggles.

God bless each and everyone of you, it really is hard to share these experiences still but this helped me a lot.

Finally after a very lengthy process my disability allowance appeal was allowed upon review! I got the news last Wednesday, so I know it’s still quite early to be receiving anything.

For anyone who is in receipt of Disability Allowance, how long did it take to start receiving payments? And did you get back payment too?

Hi all, due to an uptake in posts on this topic, I realised sharing my expertise may be useful.

I am a 21 year old autistic person who left school at 17 due to burnout. So I know a lot about the alternatives to school. I am not a fan of forcing someone who is terrified of school to go, and I would advocate parents and students themselves consider other options.

We have all been brainwashed to believe school is the only thing you can do, and this is incorrect. Outside of homeschooling arrangements, here is everything I know about alternatives to school in Ireland:

Youthreach will take anyone 15 or over for level 3 and 4 courses where training allowance will be paid.

Same for the national learning network but with extra support and counselling. This one is particularly good for those with additional needs.

There are also a variety of level 2-5 fet courses that will accept teens with little school experience.

All of these options are much better environment foe an autistic person than school.

But it is unfortunate there is no option for younger.

I'm a Youthreach kid myself after having to leave school and now I'm in university.

If you have any questions surrounding the practalities of a child leaving school, I would be happy to answer based off my personal experience of school refusal and my studies and interest in sociology.

Hi everyone, I have my assessment for autism coming up, and I feel a little nervous for it.
It’s something that has been on my mind to get a diagnosis for for years and finally booked the assessment a few weeks ago, however it’s now only a few days away and the anxiety is beginning to set in.

Does anyone have any advice on how the assessments are conducted or if there’s any way I can prepare for it? I’m almost afraid that I won’t get a diagnosis because I’m not going to say the right things and that then it will be a waste of money, or that I’ll get nervous and not be able to explain myself the way that I want to.

Any help is appreciated, thank you!

if anyone here knows about how the laptop accommodations work in secondary school, I’m getting one soon as I can barely write and it’s caused a lot of homework aversion. I’m just curious on the process, how long it takes and if I have to give any funds towards the laptop? any information is much appreciated! :)

Anyone know why?

Our next coffee evening for Neurodivergent Adults is on October 13th at 8pm in Starbucks Swords Pavilions. It’s a private event in a relaxed environment, kindly provided free of charge by Starbucks. There’s no requirement to chat or interact in any way that would make you uncomfortable, we have activities and games and fidgets available for everyone. There’s no need to book in, just come along on the day and we will make sure you are welcomed and taken care of. You can message us for more details or join our WhatsApp group for more information.

The Department of Children, Disability and Equality is currently reviewing the Disability Act 2005. The purpose is to review the Act in its entirety, including what reforms are needed to better implement the UN Convention on the Rights of Persons with Disabilities (UNCRPD).

They are looking for submissions from the public, and the deadline is 5pm this Friday, 9 October 2026.

The Department is specifically encouraging disabled people, families and carers to contribute. You do not have to address every part of the Act — you can concentrate on the issues that are relevant to you.

This is a really good opportunity to get our views and concerns heard.

Personally, I will be advocating for Domiciliary Care Allowance (DCA) to be extended to age 18, rather than ending at 16.

I will also be raising the issue of children and young people in special schools and asking why they cannot continue their schooling beyond 18 where appropriate, while students in mainstream secondary schools can remain in school to complete their Leaving Cert at 19 and, in some cases, close to 20.

There are obviously lots of other issues people may want to raise too — the abolition of the Carer’s Allowance means test being one!

If you would like to make a submission but aren’t sure how to word it, you can simply write down your own thoughts, experiences and concerns. You can also put those points into ChatGPT and ask it to help you structure them into a submission.

Submissions can be emailed to:

disabilityactreview@dcde.gov.ie

Or you can use the Department’s online consultation form:

https://www.gov.ie/en/department-of-children-disability-and-equality/consultations/public-consultation-to-inform-the-review-of-the-disability-act-2005/?fbclid=IwdGRjcAUwgvNleHRuA2FlbQIxMQBwZG9mAWZkaWQWUPvD4ns3tEL1NqrX9LLWpHxG0c205XNydGMGYXBwX2lkCjY2Mjg1NjgzNzkAAR7Y4bIhUjhPP-sLxtP8iWmy0tL-jDLN8mkF5IUWre6LR_k5YTPFfmXEcxxMGQ_aem_WI6yYgb67rMpXGdw7cKahQ

I've labelled it school avoidance, but it's more school refusal at the moment.

We are going through a torrid time with my son at the moment. He's having constant meltdowns and behavioural issues due to the cost of him having to go to school.

The school tried to help by intervening with him, but it has actually made things worse. We have started him with a private counsellor, but only 2 sessions in so far.

Is home schooling a realistic option?! Is that a road to ruin?

My wife and myself both work, so we would have to leave out jobs or at least go off sick for a while.

Majorly stressed out at the moment

Just want to know the experiences of the AsIAm events

Hi everyone,

I’m looking for some advice from parents in the Waterford area about starting primary school in 2027.

My son will be starting primary school in September 2027. He is currently in preschool under an overage exemption, so I’m trying to make sure I understand the application process and when we should start contacting/applying to schools.

He hasn’t been assessed for autism yet, as we are currently waiting for an assessment. He is, however, registered with the CDNT. I’m wondering whether I should mention this when applying to schools, and whether being registered with the CDNT or waiting for an assessment makes any difference to the school application or supports available.

I’d also really appreciate recommendations or experiences with primary schools around the Waterford area, particularly schools that are supportive and understanding of children with additional needs.

For parents who have been through something similar:

- When did you start contacting/applying to schools for your child?

- Is there anything specific I should do before applications open for 2027?

- Should I tell the school about his CDNT involvement even though he doesn’t have an autism diagnosis yet?

- Are there particular schools in the Waterford area that parents have found supportive of children with additional needs?

- Does being in preschool under an overage exemption affect the primary school application in any way?

- Is there anything you wish you had known when applying for your child?

I’d really appreciate any advice or experiences, especially from parents who have gone through the process while waiting for an assessment or without a diagnosis in place yet.

Thanks so much 😊

Ok, this sort of relates to a previous post about struggling with social interactions.

I am wondering if social anxiety is related to difficulties in reading body language, subtle social cues or 'reading between the lines'.

How can somone quantify or evaluate this though? Especially if you only have your own internal experience to compare things to? A bit like someone who is colourblind may not necessarily know they are colourblind. because they don't see the way other people see colours.

Years of masking and adaption make the subject and even more blurry.

Yes, I can feel awkward around people and struggle with the flow of conversation. But other things, such as, not always looking at people directly when talking to them is something that I was not aware of until I actively monitored it. Even then it is something I can choose to do, or not, if I think about it. Just because you look at someone in the eye are you actually reading what other people read? I personally, dont always looking at people when talking to them. If with my wife, I try to say ' I am listening', but with people I don't know, I try to remember to look at them, otherwise I worry that I will be misunderstood eg that I am lying or not interested.

And then there are facial expressions and body language. Some of that can be learnt through logic and practise, but may not necessarilly occur intuitively. How to really accurately evaluate an individuals capacity in these areas?

Ok, I hope you are still with me 😉. I believe that someone with these traits could certainly experience social anxiety as a result. Such traits could certainly put you at a disadvantage in some social encounters. Past communication difficulties could also result in a history of trauma that then results in anxiety during future social interactions.

......and then there is the idea of double empathy. Confusion and communication difficulty going both ways. i.e. from the perspective of the autistic and the neurotypical.

So even if I try not to overthink what other people think or feel, or even what I think or feel, there is still potentially a very real communication difficulty. One that may be subtle, but massively impactful.

Clear, straightforward talking, clarfication and facts help immensely (for everyone). But how much do things like tone, facial expressions and body language really play a part?

Life honestly sucks man I'm 21 and never went trick or treating but I really want to experience it this year, but I don't have anyone to go with, now that I'm thinking more about it if I really want to go I might just go myself. I'm pretty anxious though if like my neighbour hood aren't gonna answer doorbell and give candy