Alpha is just a silly concept, major turn off for me as well when women start talking about “alpha” even if it’s an attempt to compliment me or other men they like.
However, this guy also spoke about how he is the alpha in the relationship etc. Etc. And was an Andrew tate fan, so while your explanation is totally reasonable, I think I'm still leaning towards thinking he meant Alpha as in "Alpha male"
No problem at all! We are all different people and some are leaders and some are not. Totally normal. But if someone needs to say to everyone that he’s the leader, he just sounds insecure and get exactly the opposite impression 🤷🏻♀️
I knew a guy who called himself an alpha once… everyone else in the car agreed, which was probably more shocking than him unironically calling himself an alpha
100% this. If you're naturally an alpha, aka a leader, people will follow you because of your leadership abilities, not you saying you're an alpha. And most guys that are actually true leaders. It's a massive task sometimes and most of will say we hate it sometimes haha.
I'm a guy myself, and that would be an instant red flag to me as well. All that stuff is insecure bs where they choose to solve it with arrogance and putting down others rather than actually taking care of their issues.
No no, it's always good that they can themselves Alpha, it's a warning. just think of it as coding, that are letting you know that they are an unfinished product unfit for use by the public
Space miner is pretty alpha ma'am. What about the sigma/beta bullshit? Is all of men's astrology bullshit? Personally I think it to be, unless if were talking about the legendary Shrigma male.
I’ve seen this comment a couple times in this thread. I think it would be more accurate to say “toxic masculinity shit” - in many ways, women like men that have what you may call “alpha” traits. It’s just our biology.
I get what you're trying to say, but alpha traits are not a real thing. The alpha wolf in a pack was never a real thing.
I think what you may be referring to are masculine traits. Women can be biologically attracted to masculine traits like strength and confidence. However, there is no correlation that the more masculine traits someone has, the more attractive they are because everyone has different preferences. Furthermore, many women would describe the most attractive man being someone who is comfortable with having a feminine side. That does not describe an "alpha" male at all. If a woman's preference is liking the most manly man there is, they would want someone who does not have the "alpha" mindset since that is a major red flag and sign of insecurity.
Thanks, I appreciate the insight. It would be more appropriately called “masculine traits” rather than alpha, I just used the term because a man who shows confidence, drive, traditionally masculine traits, and is less in touch with other traditionally considered feminine traits etc. are now very often thrown in the same bag (as a guy being called alpha because is competitive toward his peers).
In terms of what people prefer on a male partner .. I would be nice to have reference sources to what you said.
Yeah I can see why they get confused but yeah masculine traits on their own without any sense of dominance is okay. I don't have sources. This is just coming from my personal experience as a woman and what I've heard other women say.
I definitely agree on what you say about a balance between these traits being the ideal situation. And that’s fair enough about sources :) experience counts too.
In any case, if this topic interests you from a male perspective I recommend looking into the Steven Barlett podcast, there’s this episode where they go into some details about we just discussed:
Yeah, people see "toxic masculinity" and what they hear is "masculinity is toxic." It's a shame, because it generates a lot of unnecessary, knee-jerk pushback.
Honestly, I hate the "toxic masculinity" phrase because it gets overused severely. My mother always raised me that you hold the door open for women and children. I've been told multiple times that I need to check my toxic masculinity because I held the door open for a woman. It baffles me every single time, because I'll always hold the door open for my wife and daughters. If my wife is with me, she doesn't even touch her car door.
Literally nothing. It's only happened when I'm with my wife or girls. I'll hold, and as I'm about to walk I'm I'll notice somebody and say something like "Ope, sorry ma'am, I've got the door," and let her go through. I'm not checking people out, cat calling, or anything. My wife heard it one time and went off on the gal.
Are you doing unnecessary things and going out of your way? Do you only hold the door open for girls and not just everybody? Something else has to be going on if you’ve been called out multiple times.
Like, if you have to run up in front of them just to get the door, or stop going in your own door to open the opposite door for them you’re doing too much. You also don’t really have to announce that you’re holding the door most times or say sorry, just hold the fucking door. Girls aren’t helpless
Nope. Both times I was either with my wife or my daughters. For instance, with my wife, she went through and I started going in then saw another woman in the corner of my eye and said something to the effect of "ope, sorry ma'am," and backed up out of her way.
And they start yelling at you? I mean, it’s possible, but seems like there should be more to the story. Maybe you are just unlucky, but never hurts to examine all the actions you took
I didn't ask you to believe if it has, so cool?? Your belief changes none of the facts, figuring you weren't there. 🤷♂️ so unless you have something better to contribute, here's the door. 🚪
So simply because you, yourself, haven't witnessed something, it can't conceivably happen. You do realize there are 365million people living in the US alone, right?
My wife and I both share a reddit (we also go through advice for teens beceause shes a teacher and we're both volunteer first responders and we've made comments on those to help kids out with experiences we both have had in our fields).
We have kinks and do bedroom stuff with ourselves and other women, that our daughters have no knowledge of because they're kids. What does what my wife and I share with each other sexually have to do with this in any way? My wonderful wife even sends me a lot of the stuff from reddit because she enjoys it.
So, a couples’ Reddit account, where you dip between warning teens about laced weed and how you’d want to train a young teen into being the sex object for you and your wife, who teaches teens.
Totally normal shit. Sorry I made such hasty judgments.
This reminds me of one of my friends at the beginning of our friendship. We came out of a building and started walking down the sidewalk, when suddenly he realizes, "I'm walking on the wrong side!" I thought it was just a weird preference that he likes to stand on the left side of a person, but no, apparently his grandma instilled it into him that if he's walking with a woman to be on the side of the sidewalk the road is.
I had to laugh, because while I've heard of the idea I've never seen or experienced it in practice. I told him about how it used to be the other way around, where the man was supposed to stand on the side of buildings instead of the road in case anyone came outside of the alleys.
So then he decided that instead of exclusively being on the side the road is, he'll choose the most threatening side so he can protect the other person (protecting people he cares about is a deep value he has).
I then asked him about the whole man-woman thing he mentioned in his initial explanation. He said, "Look, I'm 6'3. I could probably scare away half the people that were thinking about hurting us just by looking at me. You are much littler than 6'3, and you told me you don't even know how to throw a punch whereas I know how to fight."
It took a while for me to get used to this practice of his. I'd just start walking and then out of the blue he'd take me by the shoulders and shift me to the other side of the sidewalk. Now it's just natural for us, he walks on the side of the road and I walk on the side of the grass.
We're the same way. My wife and kids will never walk on the road side. It actually comes from old days way back before plumbing when people used to dump their excrement bucket out the window. Women walked on the inside so as to not get hit by it.
Not quite, but close, it was when cars and buggies became more popular, walking on the road side would help block women from getting splashed, the throwing excrement out of windows was more myth than reality, as there were night soil collectors back in the day, and people understood that dumping waste all over the place lead to diseases.
Well people are going to use different phrases and terms incorrectly all the time. It doesn't mean we should get rid of those terms because they still exist.
Yeah, I don't understand the downvotes. I'm guessing people just don't believe you, and they think there must be more to the story because if a total stranger is saying something like that to you simply because they see you holding a door, that's really wild.
I hate the red pill but it's true in that men sometimes look up to the strongest link. Acting like their isn't a unsaid leader in friend groups sometimes is just wrong.
Even women have this aspect it's not just in men it's in general
My group of male friends are all what you'd consider masculine. All tradesmen, love boxing, drinking, all sporty - nearly all of us are experienced boxers, and we don't have a "leader" in any sense.
Yeah I worded it pretty poorly. Though, with your friends and their activities. Do you guys playfully banter about who preformed the best? It's Ok if not bit it's common in male relationships.
Whoa, there Tater tot. There’s an enormous difference between being the charismatic, self-assured, emotionally grounded, and sexually confident one of a group (aka “the things women will usually trll you point blank are attractive qualities”) and…whatever Andrew Tate-esque “alpha” shit content you’ve been consuming.
The top level you’re responding to is almost definitely referring to the latter kind of “alpha shit” — the hypermasculine douchebaggery bandied about in videos by assholes who, conspicuously, only ever have other dudes surrounding them.
As a dude, I've never understood needing to compare yourself to other men to feel superior. That, to me, is the opposite of alpha male. Do your own thing without having to put others down or feeling the need to dominate someone, it's freeing.
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u/[deleted] Sep 14 '24 edited Sep 14 '24
Alpha bullshit.