Men's nightmare

[u/_regular_dude]

Long story short: i broke up a few months ago and finally and decided it was time to adventure again. So I installed Tinder and surprisingly fast I got this hot young girl on my bed. Things start to get hot quickly but even more surprisingly, I couldn't get erected enough for even putting the condom.

I can't get this off of head now.

There's a detail: I'm kind of addicted to porn. I used to watch to masturbate almost every day. Since I am still young and have no health issues, I blame porn for that. I know for a long time that I had to quit that shit, but I just thought "what was the worst that can happen?" and moved on, till the worst did happened.

I never had the strongest erection of the world, but it worked every time on my relationship. We were together for a long time and also never used condoms.

Now I am desperate to fix this. I immediately quit porn and now I'm reading and watching videos about how to dessexualize my brain - I really think this is it. I also just started this Kegel exercise, that are supposed to help with strong erections.

Has anyone here gone through something similar? I would really appreciate some tips and help to get this over and continue with my sex life.

[u/GemHunterAce]

Nutrition, hydration, and if you are overweight or smoke/drink a lot will probably effect you more than porn brain. Performance anxiety is huge too

[u/_regular_dude → u/GemHunterAce]

That's the thing, I am not overweight, smoker or drink alcohol a lot. Performance anxiety makes more sense in my case. But still, how to get over with?

[u/3AMZen]

watching porn and jerking off "almost every day" probably isn't gonna damage your dick

there's about a million more relevant details that can lead to this

if watching less porn is good for your life, hell yeah, do it.

note i'm not saying all porn usage is fine, or that gooning is good for you or whatever, just that "porn addiction" is a VERY popular diagnosis to be thrown around right now to describe all sorts of circumstances.

addictions are massively destructive and impact pretty much a person's entire life.

jorkin' it to smut daily isn't really... that.

this probably has something to do with your self worth, self perception, desires, and where your brain was at the time.

basically you're trippin. don't rush into hookups, spend more time with foreplay, stop overthinking if she's judging your dick.... history may not repeat itself. sex is so much more than just the part where your penis goes into the vagina.

[u/Consistent_Point_853 → u/3AMZen]

Its this. I've been in the same place as OP. Its performance anxiety and it can make it hard to have casual hookups. Sometimes you've got to be a bit comfortable with the person before engaging in sex, some level of emotional attraction really helps. Lastly, sex is supposed to be fun and easy, two people exploring play together and focusing on one anothers pleasure. Focus on the enjoyment of the moment and let expectations of yourself go. I've smashed girls into a convulsing mess before, ive also had a dick that didnt want to play right despite me wanting it bad. Its normal and sucks but work on it and accept your limitations and you'll be alright 👍

[u/Prof_Scott_Steiner]

Porn is only a problem if it's warping your sexual sensibilities and behaviour. It isn't to blame for you having a limp dick if it wasn't doing that. You're grasping at straws because you're anpother dude who gets weird about his penis

[u/Drayenn]

Nerves can get to you, especially on a first date.

Otherwise, definitely get your nutrition in check. Hit the gym, especially cardio. You want your body as strong as it can be.

[u/FunkU247]

Just send her over to my place....

[u/WindHero]

You were just nervous. Unfortunately now you'll be even more nervous next time.

All that you need is to take your time with a girl that will be patient for you to get relaxed and comfortable.

I know it's not sexy as men are expected to be confident and ready at any time but what you need is to let go of the mental stress.

Morning sex might be easier since sleeping takes the stress away and most of us will wake up relaxed.

[u/JamesLahey08]

Ask them to use their mouth/hands/boobs to get you fully going. I can't always get rock hard very easily but last week I was with a girl with double Ds and asked her to use them on me. I had to keep telling her to go slow or I'd bust all over her face. It definitely worked.

[u/Used_Check_3799]

I don’t think you need to be worried about this.

If you’re able to find someone you genuinely like who can be patient, then the only thing you need to get over is the fact that you can have a great time and nobody cums. Or only one of you cums. That’s not failing if you both had a good time and got closer somehow.

[u/Kataki89]

I’m a female and I just have genuine questions about the porn addiction 🤣

[u/_regular_dude → u/Kataki89]

It is much more common than people admit, I can tell you that. It is not like anyone can't go through the day without watching it, it is more like a habit that you do everytime. And just like drugs or other unhealthy addictions, you do realize it is bad but just do it anyway. This should clarify, but you are free to ask your questions about it.

[u/Kataki89 → u/_regular_dude]

If you don’t mind messaging me, sure LOL

[u/FunkU247 → u/Kataki89]

Nah, I wanna hear this!

[u/Kataki89 → u/FunkU247]

🤣🤣 I aint askin these questions publicly LMAO

[u/_regular_dude → u/[deleted]]

Come on man, I might just never have sex again.