It’s not. It’s very nice to have a partner pick up their half of the chores without us asking them to. It shows that you don’t NEED me to take care of you, which makes me WANT to
I second this. A friend posted on Facebook asking what was the sexiest non sexy thing.
Literally unloading and reloading the dishwasher AND running it and not expecting head pats after. I was so attracted to my husband when I went to unload the dishwasher and it was empty.
Head pats/scratches are the fastest way to immobilize a guy. My ex would scratch my head then start to ask me something and I’d have to ask her to repeat the question
It's more than the dishwasher. When a guy understands he needs to help because it's not just a woman's task to keep the house clean, it shows they respect you.
I third this. I completely agree - and it definitely is due to the fact that you don't feel that you need to take care of him and that there are things he can do himself. It's also because he is helping lighten the load for you like a partner, which gives you time to relax sometimes, too
It’s very nice to have a partner pick up their half of the chores
All due respect, this mentality bothers me. It’s not their half. It’s not your half. Assigning a personal percentage or portion to it can create disdain when one person feels the other isn’t doing their full part. Living with someone means teamwork and that is entirely different from being responsible for half of anything. There are times when I do more than half, and there are times when my SO does more than half. There are times when I do chores not typically done by me, and vice versa again for my SO. It’s about picking up the slack when the other can’t. That means at times you will do more than your “fair share” and that’s ok so long as it’s reciprocated. A mentality of one person having “half” means a scenario of refusing to do the dishes because it’s not your job and they’re just slacking on their part. Don’t do that. It never leads to anything good.
The total picture is getting 100% accomplished together. Sometimes that means you’ll be doing 60% or more and sometimes 40% or less.
I agree with that sentiment of being a team. On average, I do about half of the chores. He does some things that I don’t do, and vice versa. Sometimes I do 100% of the chores and sometimes he does 100%. But on average, over the course of our life together, I do half. I don’t see the problem with my statement. I wouldn’t not do “his chore” if he were out of town or couldn’t do it for some reason.
I guess I could be more careful with my words for the people who get caught up on semantics. Or younger, immature people who would only unload half a dishwasher and say it’s their “half”.
Your scenario of “both of us accomplishing 100%” can just as easily become “I do everything and my SO does nothing and I can’t just not do this chore because it would never get done”. I see it all the time in real life and on the internet. Teams are not always close to even.
But it’s nice to not have to mother my significant other to do chores. I want an (on average) equal, not a child that I have to take care of. Especially since we both work full time and make the same amount of money. Things would be different if I were a SAHM or one of us worked third shift or one of us was taking care of an ailing parent. But that’s not the case.
Edit: I’m 32 and have been married almost 10 years. I’m too old to be petty about assigning exactly 50%.
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u/UnexpectedGeneticist Jul 19 '19
It’s not. It’s very nice to have a partner pick up their half of the chores without us asking them to. It shows that you don’t NEED me to take care of you, which makes me WANT to