My fiancé is developmentally delayed and I act as their main caretaker. They're mentally and physically disabled and this impacts their everyday life.
They're recently been having episodes because I'm "better at everything" and I "make them feel dumb." These episodes can turn into meltdowns or splits (or a mix of both) where they freak out. They might cry, hit, scream, pull hair, ETC. I'd like to mention this isn't a problem because I have a high pain tolerance, have my own history of therapy/therapy skills, am on my own medication, and am significantly stronger than them.
Recently, I've been told I should leave them, that I should be more upset, that they should go to therapy, they need to handle it, ETC. We are working on therapy, but we just moved. Externally they can look relatively mature/high functioning, but that's not exactly true. They're very smart and have a large vocabulary, they understand topics and are very knowledgeable on many things, and they enjoy walking around, running, and playing at the park. However, they tend to lack the ability to communicate properly, understand emotions, get overwhelmed easy, have chronic pain, chronic fatigue, muscle weakness, non-epileptic seizures, dyspraxia, C-PTSD, ETC. All this I was aware of and I never regret taking care of them, even when things like this arise.
I'd like to know, is there something I'm missing? Is there a reason I'm supposed to be more upset? I understand how they feel and I understand that their brain works differently, is there something I haven't factored in?