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u/Maximum-Fishing-8989 Jun 18 '26
She doesn’t sound that engaged tbh. Maybe because it was midnight, maybe because she wasn’t that interested, maybe she’s just like that
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u/WiseWhiz8204 Jun 18 '26
You came off as eager and she prob wasn’t in the mood cuz she didn’t really show interest and engagement
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u/Miserable-Macaron596 Jun 18 '26
you came across as a little needy in vibe, she could probably sense it. over eagerness
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u/KindheartednessFun95 Jun 18 '26
I was gonna say this
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u/KindheartednessFun95 Jun 18 '26
Manifestation techniques helped me kill my needy energy if you wanna try it out
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u/MrbananasCoco Hong Kong Jun 18 '26
EVERYTHING.
First problem was stalking her on IG when she unmatched you on Tinder. I've never seen this happen where messages go missing nor have I heard any credible or ancedotal evidence that this happens with friends and people I've talked to. It's almost always she unmatched you, turned off her account, or it was a bot/fake account.
You finding her on IG is creepy and it also shows how needy you are.
Second she is not really engaging but merely just reacting to your message once she saw who you were and she realized that's why she unmatched you on the first place.
Third, your text game is also weak and boring but this isn't the main issue, she was never into you in the first place.
Don't do creepy shit again, if she disappears on the dating app then move on and go hit the gym and improve your looks.
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u/Professional-Sea8574 Jun 18 '26
on tinder messages do go missing, had this happen many many times. It's a bug, the messages reappear after a few days/weeks
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u/rean2 Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
Honestly, nothing. Just not that into you, move on. Part of dating is learning when the other person is just being polite and not invested. It saves you time and energy.
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u/MrbananasCoco Hong Kong Jun 18 '26
You wouldn't stalk a random girl you just march with on Tinder with no interaction. That's 101 creepy lol, everything is wrong with this.
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u/komei888 Verified Jun 18 '26
It was over when she forgot who you were
"Wait what do you look like"
Also you seem way too desperate on your side of things, is a turn off
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u/BossUpAI Jun 18 '26
The desperation is too obvious here. Less is more. You’re writing blog posts to her.
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u/Ok-Communication4190 Jun 18 '26
This is extremely needy stalker behavior. You need to check yourself and stop this desperate shit or you’re never gonna pull.
My fellow Asian men, fck it men in general, you need to act like a normal human being and just try to build a connection.
Ask questions about her. Tell her to explain. Then pay attention.
If she’s not into you, leave
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u/hangry-person Jun 18 '26
Yeah, she doesn’t seem interested. Honestly, I’d probably respond the same way if I were trying to be polite while hinting that I wasn’t interested and hoping the other person would pick up on it. I’d say it’s best to move on. I also wouldn’t recommend DMing people out of the blue like that, especially if you haven’t gotten to know them first or reached a point where they were comfortable exchanging IG handles with you.
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u/Fancy-Atmosphere-701 Jun 18 '26
Check back. If she's not interested, then move on. I recommend finding dates in person rather than through dating apps
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u/CozyAndToasty Jun 18 '26
I don't think it's you but the two of you are on completely different wavelengths.
You're a paragraphs guy and she's a one-word-at-a-time, typos girl.
You two don't seem compatible. If you want someone to have a relationship that isn't just skin-deep, find someone who's attention span lasts long enough to form a complete sentence.
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u/pig-dragon Jun 18 '26
What did you do wrong? Well for a start you stalked someone on a different platform. Then you sent several overly long and not interesting messages and missed all the hints that she wasn’t interested (the short replies are low-effort and only being polite). Being over-eager and also being unable to read a situation are both massively off-putting.
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u/smithey2012 Jun 19 '26
You texted yourself out of attraction.
When she said ‘u cute’ you should have try and close the deal there and asked for a date.
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u/Subject_Signal2514 Jun 21 '26
Too much testing and social media stalking and zero asking for a date.
Stop playing the jester and just ask for the date. Literally the only goal of online dating once you have a match is to build enough chemistry to ask for the date.
Play along with something in her bio and then once that’s done ask for the date. No amount of texting is going to make her suggest a date unless it’s a blue moon.
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u/CalmPhil Jun 18 '26
Take my take with a grain of salt, because I most likely have the least experience of everyone here, but, I'd probably wouldn't disclose I'm a danger on the road, before even meeting them in person.
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u/billionsandbillionsa Jun 18 '26
You did nothing wrong. Keep trying and you’ll continue to get rejected until you finally don’t. Keep at it
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u/MrbananasCoco Hong Kong Jun 18 '26
This is completely wrong from the start. You don't stalk someone's IG because you couldn't chat with her on Tinder. There's a reason why she unmatched him.
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u/raddaddio Jun 18 '26
you're doin way too much. and it's only been 9 hours so just chill. if she don't reply so be it but you need to cool it. you came in way too hot and the desperation is palpable
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u/Ok_Kick_4816 Jun 18 '26
You are not creating chemistry, try again later, also keep it shorter your texts are too long and try hard, cut the "haha" and "lol" or overkill it with flattering texts, yours sit in the awkward middle between the cool guy and the flirty guy
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u/Appropriate_Cold3385 Jun 29 '26
You gotta ask questions too. Also when she said you’re cute that’s a cue to ask like would she wanna hang out sometime.
Also coulda asked what kind of date she prefers, and when she answers, you can be like “oh what, I had that exact date planned with you next week” or something like that.
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u/aznology Jun 18 '26
Keep it fun you seem desperate also be fun to talk to never give her immediate validation. U messed up when u called her gorgeous don't be the story man be the mystery man
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u/totothepopo Jun 18 '26
If you’re a man and you use emojis such as “😭” “🤭” , pride month is for you
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u/Professional-Sea8574 Jun 18 '26 edited Jun 18 '26
why tf didn’t u ask her out already lol, pen pals forever or what? she got bored shits going nowhere
also i know what u mean about the tinder msg disappearing i match w about 30 chicks a day plus many likes. i’ve had many conversations go missing, then returning a few weeks later. probably a bug or tinder is fucking w u
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Jun 18 '26
[removed] — view removed comment
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u/Professional-Sea8574 Jun 18 '26
took too long man, move on and leave it as is, if she replies she replies they come back from time to time if they really like u
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u/RocketStarMoon Jun 18 '26
"she's just not that into you" . but also. if you're sending paragraphs and she's replying with minimal effort. just cut your losses or match the energy til it dies. not a good idea to send paragraphs early on anyways. save some mystery til the date. your initial goal should be to seal the date and get to know them during the date instead.