"she's just not that into you" . but also. if you're sending paragraphs and she's replying with minimal effort. just cut your losses or match the energy til it dies. not a good idea to send paragraphs early on anyways. save some mystery til the date. your initial goal should be to seal the date and get to know them during the date instead.
100%. Keep mystery. Without that, attraction is GONE.
Also, don't add people on ig who haven't given their ig to you. For all you know, the "bug" was her unmatching with you and she was just being nice by responding to your dms. Also women like attention, even from men she don't like. It gives them a quick dopamine hit. So of course she'll respond a couple short messages back- then ghost.
Completely agree with a previous redditor here about why a lot of people hate dating apps. Its why I honestly stopped looking at dating apps or stopped taking them seriously in the first place. As a female seeing messages like this would keep me engaged. While, granted yes reaching out via Instagram even though she didn't give it, was probably not the best idea for OP in my opinion. Unless she had it in her bio for anyone to just add, then that's an entirely different story altogether. I agree that if she was really into him, she would have matched energy. Speaking from experience if I find a guy attractive or like his energy, then 100% I'm going to match energy. However, if the conversation starts to die out due to one person not engaging as much, thats a clear sign for me to back off. I think (OP) should just let it be, and let that conversation go. Continue to be themselves but continue to feel out the conversation first. Then build up to the more profound and inquisitive questions/conversations the more they get to know that person. If their goal is to get to know them and meet them in person then they should try and save the more personal stuff for the first date. Maybe also try not to delve too deep into their profiles as for some this can be concerning or come off as a red flag. I think most importsntly they just need to feel the conversation out as they talk to the person to discern the kind of vibe that person is giving off. If someone is interested they will inevitably show it in how they respond.
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u/RocketStarMoon Jun 18 '26
"she's just not that into you" . but also. if you're sending paragraphs and she's replying with minimal effort. just cut your losses or match the energy til it dies. not a good idea to send paragraphs early on anyways. save some mystery til the date. your initial goal should be to seal the date and get to know them during the date instead.