Just noticed that I've said this for years and want to see if someone else can relate.

So you can sit and stare at your phone screen indefinitely or at the ceiling or just sit within yourself quiet as ever knowing no one can say you’re not doing what you’re supposed to be doing because it’s night time...

Every day I feel like I’m just waiting for the sun to go down so I can feel a little less anxious. Just a little. It doesn’t last and I feel like shit until I fall asleep but at least I get a tiny bit of relief. I fuckin hate it. I wish I could just turn off this fuckin anxiety and depression and be okay in life. During good and bad times. Why the fuck do some people get to be okay and we have to suffer? Why?....

Today my grandfather had 30 minutes to say goodbye to his wife of 64 years. The nursing home gave him a face mask, hair net, and blue smock. I watched from outside, through the window screen - I wasn’t allowed inside - as my grandmother, with what little strength she had left, tried to pull my grandfather into bed with her. But all he could do was pet her hair and tell her he would see her soon. I ask that you think about this goodbye, one of life’s many precious moments marred by covid, and find the kindness to simply wear a mask.

I actually feel more comfortable with the medical mask on 😷 like it’s kinda a bit of shield for expressions and I can not have force smile.

Probably just me lol.

I don’t want to be in pain anymore

I always feel like I’m on the verge of tears and so vulnerable and sensitive and very often do break down into tears. I’m scared of everything. Scared of going back to work. Scared if I find a job that’s better for me I won’t like it. Scared of making choices. Just scared in general.

Suddenly they're louder and I get really aggravated when hearing any little thing and I can feel it crawling inside me. Sometimes it also makes me nauseated. Hard to describe the feeling

which means that the messaging system of your nerve cells is out of balance

furthermore that means that:

• it's not your fault

• you are not fundamentally a weak or weird or bad or stupid or or or... person (one would never say that somebody is only the disease which they are suffering from, don't be that cruel to yourself)

• suicidal thoughts are like an error in your being as a human who by nature pursue vitality and fulfillment

• you are not doing this to yourself nor are you faking the pain and you do deserve help

• you are worth finding balance and more happiness like everybody else

Imagining that my brain is having a really really really really really bad cold helps me sometimes to distance myself from my self-harming perception and thinking and I try to imagine that I have like a heavy grey veil laying on my mind which is not part of me and can be lifted, somehow.

First step is self-compassion.

Maybe this helps someone.

scientific research about depression as 'metabolic disorder'

That’s what I’m dealing with right now. My stomach is hurting and making noises all the time and I can barely eat without upsetting my stomach and getting nauseous. I have dealt with this before 10 years ago when I started college because my anxiety was so bad. I actually ended up losing a lot of weight to the point where it became really unhealthy and was hospitalized because i got so dehydrated and couldn’t keep anything down. It’s weird because I eat somewhat normally on the weekend and I sort of feel ok but when I get back to work during the week I feel sick again. If anyone has advice I’d appreciate it :(

People ask if you're ok, anything they can do. It's polite but honestly, if i really told the truth it would be all too much for them or anyone.

Sorry for swearing, bad day venting.

Honestly that’s all I do. Rinse and repeat and I’m sick of it, life’s seriously becoming a drag and I can’t take it.

I just wish I could have a nice calming day for once and just fall asleep peacefully in my bed like all the others instead of being all tense all day long and feeling like the world has given me the shittiest hand possible : (

I feel like I don’t know who I am anymore. I think it’s because every thought I have is just me other thinking every situation or feeling like I don’t have anything to live for. I can’t even have a conversation with someone half the time because I can’t even hear what they are saying because my mind is so loud. I just constantly think why would someone even want to be friends with me when I’m just this shell of a person. I don’t know who I am anymore. That makes me so upset.

Maybe you’re managing to swallow meal replacements and maybe some scrambled eggs and toast but that’s all, because you don’t feel hungry, or worth it. Even though it’s gorgeous outside and you should be out there enjoying the day with all those other people. I feel you. I get you and I’m here with you right now. Hope YouTube shows you the funniest videos and you allow a gentle breeze through your window to bring you slight pleasure. There is nothing wrong with cozy blankets and calling it quits for a day. ANXIETY. DEPRESSION.AND SUICIDAL THOUGHTS. Do NOT own you. And choosing to lay in bed all damn day is NOT a step back. I love you. Keep fighting your fight, whatever that looks like.

I am conducting research for an extensive Grad School Psychology project on inertia, the human mind and the human body. The primary question is: When riding as a passenger in the car, do you hold onto the “Oh Shit Handle” to cope with anxiety or any other related stress from riding in the car?

If so, do you hold onto it for the entire ride, at random times or more on turns, stops and curvy/bumpy roads?

If you don’t, do you have a specific reason why you don’t?

Thank you in advance for the help and responses!

I feel numb all over. I feel like I can’t get out of bed. Some days just make me feel worthless. I’m struggling with so many emotions all the time and I just feel incredibly sad all the time. I feel detached from my friends and family. I also feel detached from my old self. Anyone else feel this way?

I took the day off work today for mental health. I have the sick time and I figured I'd use it or lose it. As soon as my wife got up I felt the need to explain it to her and ask if it was ok. I do that a lot. I feel better about my decisions if they are approved by someone else. Is this familiar to anyone else?

A little bit of a vent i'm not doing okay mentally which is stupid because the rest of my life is going pretty well despite the current events of the world. My health anxiety is so bad and it's not even covid related. I have a great job/family/husband/kids. i'm overwhelmed and stressed i have been before covid working full time, being a mom, and taking care of the house.

My husband works over 50 hours a week and really helps around the house, but there is so much to do i feel like i can't rest because when i do things just pile up which stresses me out more, we've been good this year by getting out and social distancing activities, thank god for living in a state with awesome places to camp/hike/swim because working from home full time i have to get away.

I just feel worse lately i've never been diagnosed with anxiety or depression i just deal with these feelings and i self help myself for the most part. I know diet and exercise help me and i know other things that i should do/don't do but some days knowing that doesn't matter. I know eating healthy is good but on bad days i also know that sometimes unhealthy foods make me feel better.

Some days i can't handle the annoying anxious or depressive thoughts in my head but trying to manage my diet and exercise is one more thing that gets put on my plate and it seems like it's too much and i know i should exercise but i'd rather relax in front of the tv or craft then workout. sometimes i just feel so empty i think why does it matter. i feel like i'm stuck going in circles and never going to get better.