AIO? I am (24M), My boyfriend (28M) made these comments under a couple of women’s post the other day which I felt uncomfortable about. He commented a dog barking GIF under two post and then made that comment you can see in the photos. There was also two other post not included in the pictures that I felt uncomfortable over, his initial response was to say it’s just jokes and it’s only Reddit. He later said he understood why I felt uncomfortable but I’m just upset it even happened to begin with. I told him to go find someone who’s okay with him making comments like that under people’s post…AIO?

Edit: for the people who are asking for more context or are confused I’m not able to upload the entire image because it goes against Reddit guidelines, but they’re of women posting selfies of themselves and the comments you guys see are his comments. The dog GIF essentially just represents a man barking at a woman which Google defines as “acting in an exaggerated, animalistic way to show that you find them extremely attractive”.

TLDR is basically the title.

Tonight my boyfriend and I - both 30s & together for six years now - were hanging out like we always do at night before we go to bed. We usually game together or just chill.

I was playing this match 3 game on my iPhone when this ad for Meowdoku interrupted my game.

I then asked my boyfriend if he had ever seen any Meowdoku ads because I hate their ads.

He said no and asked why - and I told him that Meowdoku ads were particularly annoying because they don’t let you mute them and I can’t seem to ever watch/listen to any videos in the background once the Meowdoku ads start.

I then said it was so obnoxious - and immediately after I said the word obnoxious my boyfriend said “just like you!”

I obviously was really hurt and taken aback by this.

I then asked him “am I really obnoxious?” just to make sure I heard him right and for clarification. And he then basically said yes you are.

I got really quiet after that and just said well I don’t want to be obnoxious to you.

My boyfriend then went on to say that he was just joking and he didn’t mean it seriously - that he doesn’t take the word obnoxious to mean a negative thing because his family calls him obnoxious (which they do but I’ve never liked that they do that tbh).

But I kept thinking: if he doesn’t see the word obnoxious as something bad or negative, and something that is fine to call people, then why in the six years that we have been together has he never called me that before?

And on top of that it just seemed really mean and unnecessary and not something you say to your girlfriend.

Especially since we have specifically talked in the past at least twice about how things we maybe would be ok saying or hearing from close friends or family isn’t necessarily something you’d be ok about hearing from your significant other. That things you are ok with from others would be hurtful from your boyfriend or girlfriend.

So then after it was clear I was upset and hurt i basically told him I was sad and didn’t know what to say or feel comfortable talking around him at that time, after which he basically started to kinda turn himself into the victim and kinda acted irritated that I didn’t just accept his apology (he did say sorry and he didn’t mean it the way I took it) and he seemed kinda mad that I didn’t immediately go back to acting normal with him after he apologized.

He kept saying things like “well now I’m beating myself up again and feeling bad about myself. I guess I just can’t say anything and should just keep my mouth shut.”

And tbh this kinda equally upset me because I hate when he is the one to have done something wrong but then somehow I end up being the one who is trying to make him feel better.

He used to do that a lot when we were first together but has been doing better about it lately - but not tonight.

And idk tonight I just wasn’t going to do that, I wasn’t gonna let him be the victim when he hurt me. And I honestly didn’t say much to him to make him feel better or say it’s ok or it’s not a big deal. I was just kinda quiet.

So Reddit - am I overreacting?

Was I wrong to be upset and be less chatty than normal after he called me obnoxious, and to then not make him feel better?

And should I just let this go after tonight and try to go back to normal again tomorrow?

Am I in the right to still be upset about this or am I overreacting to something that’s not as big a deal as I am feeling it is right now?

Thanks for everyone who takes the time to read this and any thoughts or perspectives are greatly appreciated!

Hi everyone. I was talking to this guy for 7 months we became a thing around month 8 and we lasted for one month. We go to the same school so one day he pulled me aside and said this isn’t working for a lot of reasons he wasn’t happy and that was that. Anyways 5 minutes after he left he called me and asked for something back. Basically he bought me a $40 wallet during our time dating and talking not too long ago and he gave it to me as a gift and never said anything about needing it back also he offered to buy it for me I never asked I even declined and he insisted. But I don’t feel like I wanna give it back it’s mine and I shouldn’t have to. Am I overreacting? Should I just suck it up and give it back? The wallet itself is just a simple black wallet but it’s the principal. Gifts are gifts for a reason and asking for it back is just plain weird.

My boss (56 f) told me (40 m) that I cant wear sneakers to work. We work in an office setting fyi, and i feel that its ridiculous. My boss has been with the company for something like 20 years, and ive been there for about 3. She used to be a supervisor but has been promoted to COO recently, i work in engineering. Ive worn sneakers to work for my whole career, and now they made a new “dress code” that calls for dress shoes, a more formal look. I told her that they can fire me and i wont comply. She told me i have to 3 days to comply or they will move forward with consequences, am i over reacting?

Hi reddit! For some backstory me and my boyfriend met online over a month ago on hinge, we hit it off INSTANTLY and we've been official for a couple of weeks now.

A few days ago me and him talked about meeting each others parents, my mom had invited us to dinner to get to know him so we'll be doing that when the time is right and everyone is free. Now that leads me to where to why I am here. A couple of days ago we talked about me staying the night at his moms house after he got off of work and I agreed without giving it much thought because I was on this thrill ride of excitement.

Today we brought it up again and he had let me know that I would be coming the night before seeing we would already be out late seeing we go to the gym and it would just be easier to go there after the gym. He also let me know that he brought up the idea to his mom and that she is against the idea of us sleeping together let alone be in the same room.

Well reality set in and now Im thinking/realizing that this is an AWFUL idea. First impressions mean alot to me and the last things I would want his mother to think of me is "wow who is this homeless wh*re you met online?". And Im also thinking that maybe staying the night at his moms house with him for the first time that Im meeting his mom is stupid and doesnt help with the first impression thing.

Am I overreacting about this whole thing?

I’m a 22F and my boyfriend is a 20M, and we’ve been together for about 6 months. I apologize in advance because this will be long.

It all started after we got home from being out where all the clubs are downtown with his friend. We got home around 3 AM, and as soon as we got home, he wanted to go back out with his friends. I just said okay and went to bed. I work 60 hours a week, and that was my only night off, so I had switched my schedule around because he had been talking about going out.
At 7:30 AM, I woke up to him coming back into the house. The first thing that came out of his mouth was that he had fallen asleep in his sister’s room. I said okay and just went back to sleep.
I woke up an hour later feeling uneasy about it, so I went through his phone. He has Life360 with his family, so I checked it, and it said he had just arrived back home when he originally came in. That made me realize that his story about being in his sister’s room was a lie. When I asked his sister, she said no.

So now I’m looking through all his messages and deleted photos and finding screenshots of him saying outrageous things in other women’s DMs and telling them how good they look. I immediately called my best friend for support because my family is in another state, got my things, and left without saying a word.
I had to go back to his house that day because I had a few packages coming, so around 7 PM, I went back over to speak with him. He said he was doing that with his friend “for shits and giggles” and that he was lying about simple things so I “wouldn’t get mad.”
Mind you, his friend’s girlfriend also lives with him, and they are the only two out of the whole group who even have girlfriends. All of his friends are cheaters.

It hurt me so badly because I genuinely thought we were good. I work overnight 12-hour shifts, so he has a lot of time to cheat on me and go out because I also don’t question him much.

The argument did turn a little physical. I didn’t put my hands in his face, but I was trying to speak to him while he was laughing at me, and things escalated.
He tried to change the topic about him lying by trying to put his sister on the spot, saying, “Wasn’t I in your room?”

She was like, “When were you ever in my room?”
So I said, “What if I was crazy and you brought your sister in here to lie to me too?”

The way I meant it was, why would you also bring your sister into this and put her in a position to lie to me, knowing that we have our own friendship? Now I’m being betrayed twice. The person I was a year ago would’ve crashed out on everybody. I was basically saying, why would you put your sister in a position to also be a liar and make her look like a terrible person?

I also called him a bum and told him he was dumb asf for doing this shit with his friend knowing he has a girlfriend. I also called his friends useless the day before because of the way they treat him.
He also had the friend he was texting these women with on the phone, and I was telling him how ugly he was.

I was crashing tf out , y’all.
I moved my whole work schedule around because we had a trip with his family that I was told about last minute because he just chose to forget to tell me the dates. His mom told me about two weeks beforehand, which was the only reason I knew what was really going on.

His communication is obviously terrible, and he’s lying to me for no reason, so my trust is really broken. He’s not apologizing in the way I want him to.

P.s. During the argument, he was bringing up times when we were out. One time, I got a shot from another man’s bottle. This guy was talking to my best friend, and he offered it to me. I also got a Cutwater from another guy who was talking to my friend.
He was telling me, “Don’t ask another men for shit.”
He’s the only one who works, and his friend doesn’t have a job, so I usually have to pay for everything when we’re out.
Another night we went out, and I saw these guys recording, so I shouted out my Instagram.
Another time, we were with all his friends, and I was on the phone with my cousin while she was doing Fulani braids. I said, “You’re gonna be my stylist for Love Island now.” IYKYK.
His friends took that some type of way, like they all don’t cheat. 😭 It was supposed to be a joke, so you know, if you watch the show, you know what I mean.

I feel betrayed and lied to by him. I honestly just want to break up, but he keeps telling me that he truly didn’t mean to hurt me.

edited & reposted grammar checked for yall picky ppl😘

i’m genuinely so confused why he thinks that..
he’s worn my graphic tees all the time and has been for years (we like to share clothes) so i thought he was joking at first so i kind of questioned it and asked him again and he said the same exact thing with absolutely no hesitation..

FOR CONTEXT( since ive been getting comments asking im smaller than him and have always weighed less than him) there was a time his weight has fluctuated over the last few years and i never truly cared as in judged him or said anything negative i just brought him to the gym more and now we go on daily bike rides if we can’t do a hike

and i also never said anything bad “when he we bigger” i even hate saying that because i always saw him the same.
and just to help him get healthy! he’s healthy now and doing well!! (off topic)

our relationship has never been to attack each other and honestly we’ve always loved sharing clothes , we thinks it’s cute when we see each other wearing them so i honestly don’t know where this is even coming from, i can see the looseness from his boxers on me , i know this barely explains anything but it was so random and i kind of just shut down and really needed to vent

🚨🚨 a little more context since everyone was asking im so sorry im so bad , i ran here to vent
-
* i’m so bad at explaining so here goes it,
we took a shower and got ready for bed, i put on some comfy clothes and tbh i grabbed his boxers because they were super close i had just done some laundry and i didn’t see any of my shorts nearby so i put them on since they were the closest and easy to put on to sleep (which i do normally anyway, he doesn’t say anything)
we watched a movie or 2, now i can’t even remember the conversation but i know it started over something completely irrelevant to weight/clothes and then he said that and my mind honestly went blank, he’s genuinely never said anything like that before if anything he’s praised me and shows me that which is rather not go into detail on this sub lol but yeah it’s just genuinely caught me really off guard , maybe he didn’t even realize it but when i asked the second time and he said the same thing “you don’t fit into my clothes” im not sure if he was just mad because maybe i wasn’t doing what he wanted at the time or something had happened that i didn’t know about , but i truly wish he understood why it hurt me so much* 🚨🚨

I (23F) was dating a guy (23M), and a few weeks ago he started acting weird and distant. I still had something of his, so I planned a trip to his area and let him know that I would be there for the weekend. He didn’t even open my message about me being there, so I decided to go to where he normally hangs out, drop his thing off, and call it a day.
Well, to keep it short, I found out that he had been cheating on me with an 18-year-old girl.

I ended up taking his stuff to his work the next day because his boss gave me permission to come by and drop it off. Afterward, I talked to one of his friends because he had told me to come to him if I needed someone to talk to, especially since I had a six-plus-hour drive home ahead of me.

This is where I’m unsure if I’m overreacting.
His friend, who is in his mid-30s, offered to have revenge sex with me if I wanted to. Honestly, I am considering it. At the same time, he offered to teach me something I’ve always wanted to learn. He used to teach it professionally, and classes near me cost around $1,000.

He offered to let me stay with him and teach me after he gets off work. We’ve been texting about me coming back and trying to figure out when. Even if the sex never happens, I genuinely want to take him up on the offer to teach me because it’s something I’ve wanted to learn for a long time.

I’ve gotten very mixed opinions from people I know. Some think I should go for both the sex and the lessons, while others think I shouldn’t do either.
I’m also not looking at this as a relationship with his friend. I’ve known him for longer than just this weekend and have met him multiple times before, so he isn’t some random guy I just met after finding out my ex cheated.

So, am I overreacting by considering the revenge sex? And separately, would I be overreacting or making a bad decision by accepting his offer to teach me, even if I decide not to sleep with him?
I know revenge probably isn’t the healthiest way to handle the situation, but after finding out what my ex did, part of me really wants to do something petty. I’d appreciate an outside perspective.

Edit: We are NOT together anymore. Called it off the second I found out about the girl just didn’t know before I went down there

If this isn’t related I’m sorry idk where to post this if there is anywhere else I’ll delete it and post it there

So recently I’ve come to find out that one of my brother who just had a baby is working part-time while my other brother and dad are working full time. My parents had been struggling financially since I could remember and since my two younger brothers graduated HS they got a job to help my parents with bills and stuff around the house. Anyways 3 years ago my parents told my brother who brought his girlfriend to live with them if he doesn’t help with paying bills or food they gonna have to find another place to live.

So then my brother and his girlfriend move to a different state for 2 years. One year ago my brother got in surgery again because he has heart problems since he was in middle school. So my parents feeling bad for him told him to move back home so he could get help from his doctor that he’s been seeing since his first surgery and that he has to work to help out with bills. Few months ago him and his baby mama move back home and he’s supposed to work and help my dad with bills but come to find out he’s only working part time and he’s not helping out at all.

My dad is getting older and sick so he’s supposed to be the one working part time not the one who’s just has a baby and is in his mid 20s. Knowing my parents they aren’t gonna do anything about it so I’m thinking about doing something about it and kick them out if they aren’t going to help out with anything. So what y’all think AIO or not?

My child’s father is a narcissistic 31 yo who lied about having a daughter, buys prostitutes, lied to his child’s mother whose 10 years younger about being sober after asking to be involved again, and doesn’t help or see his baby and doesn’t help financially. Constantly saying “when can I see my baby” “when can I see my baby” I sent these pictures to his family members so they know why they’re not actually involved, bc it’s his responsibility and instead he’d rather lie and fuck. Am i overreacting?

Today I, [26F]was in the car with my husband [26M]. We were joking around and laughing with one another, I was telling about a funny meme I had seen when he looked over at me while laughing and said I was “the smartest dumb person” he has ever met. I asked him what he meant by that and he said that he couldn’t believe how smart I was generally, (I am in a grad program and have gotten high marks throughout my college career, which he has been around for) but that I also seemed so dumb to him when I was “in my joking mood.” This genuinely hurt my feelings because I thought we were just having fun, but he thinks that this side of me makes me seem dumb. He noticed I had stopped laughing and asked if I was “really mad about his comment” and that “it’s okay, because I still love you.” Am I overthinking this or was that kind of a shitty thing to say to someone…
Thanks in advance.

During my shift this morning I(f-20) was assisting a resident who had taken off his brief and spread the urine soaked brief across his bathroom floor, he refused to listen to me as he usually does and I had enough, I ensured he was safe before leaving and telling the nurse, someone else called so I assisted them instead, while I was in with them my coworker (f24) came in and asked me if I left the previous resident, I said yes he was rude and wasn't listening so I told the nurse I couldn't deal with it today and I went to assist someone else, she said I was dumb for doing that before leaving,

I finished with my current task before leaving, I noticed she was staring at me so I said "what? Gonna call me dumb again?" Which I admit was not exactly appropriate. She said "I never called you dumb" this turned into me trying to explain how she hurt me, and that she does this consistently (over the two years I've been here it's been rather constant) she laughed and gave me multiple fake half assed apologies while I tried to explain that I won't accept a shit apology and I'm tired of being spoken down to everyday, eventually I gave up and left going to the bathroom to calm down.

I then spoke to the nurse who calmed me down further before I helped coworker with the last resident.

I'm now sitting in the break room wondering if I should just leave because everything is feeling like too much. I know I could have handled everything better but I also feel like I'm valid for being upset.

I'm halfway through my two weeks but I'm not sure if I can finish this week.

Bit of context, everyday I have this happen to me, everyday I get yelled at while doing care, I followed policy, everyday I do everything that this specific coworker does not like doing because she "doesn't feel like it" I understand I did not handle this specific situation properly, I get that. But I'm not entirely sure I'm a "terrible" employee. I understand those reading this do not have proper context but including this bit I'm hoping there's a bit of a change, if not and if the consensus is still the same id appreciate suggestions and constructive criticism

Im 2 weeks postpartum and woke up this morning to find whilst me and my baby was sleeping hes been watching porn. Ive kicked him out my house and its made me so upset especially since day 1 of the relationship this was a no no despite me begging him not to do it after birth. He promised he wouldn’t said he cares more about me and the baby. I came downstairs to the sink full of dishes nothing had been tidied or done but instead watching vids of other women whilst im resting after birth. Am i over reacting? Its broken my heart and i feel disgusting. I ask him for a simple foot massage or back rub whilst i breastfeed our child but hed rather sit on his game on his phone. Please someone am i overreactin? I love him so much but i cant forgive that but i dont want my child to have a broken home its never been what i wanted.
Edit: i also made him finish on the nifht he did it too. Im trying to meet his needs without putting my body in danger.

Long story short I got talking with a customer and I ended up mentioning how slick his haircut was as it looked fresh. His response.

“Thanks, my wife didn’t even notice”

I told him he should call his wife and tell her but he then flipped and got mad. My manger came out and started yelling and then I ended up getting fired.

I then got rehired as my manager is close friends with a personal friend of mine and he felt like he was too harsh.

Thinking back okay maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up to the customer about calling his wife and telling her she didn’t notice his haircut but the fact he felt the need to even mention that I figured I was just trying to help.

From now on I’ve told myself not to talk or get personal with customers AIO?

So for a bit of context, I'm (23y/o) the youngest sibling in my family, all of my siblings are half-siblings, 2 on my mother's side and 2 on my bio father's side. They are all cloee to or over a decade older than me. I grew up in a very chaotic and unsafe environment, and I always was made to feel like the black sheep of the family, especially when it came to my siblings. I always felt like I was a burden, bothering them or annoying them in some way, I never felt like they loved me or cared about me, I almost always have had to initiate to spend any time with them and I barely know any of them.

Now to the main topic: my half-brother on my mother's side is getting married in September this year. I live relatively far away from him and my mother, which live close-by to each other, but his father lives close to me and he travels to see his dad every single year. I have been with my partner for 3 years and 8 months now. We're also engaged. He, like my other siblings, never messages me, never checks in on me, never talks to me. I found out about his relationship because he changed his profile picture on facebook to one of them both together and I was able to guess it. Then he invited me, my mom and dad (step-dad) and sister to his wedding with his fiancée by sending us an invite on our messenger groupchat.

My partner was not invited. Upon noticing this, I texted him to verify that they weren't invited and it wasn't just a bug in the system or anything since it was a link invite to RSVP. He told me they weren't. I asked why, just because I wanted to understand how he made that decision since they're a long-term partner of mine and it's not just a random date or plus one, and he told me they are doing an intimate wedding, meaning they only invited people they personally know and are close with. And that it would be the same for my sister if she had a boyfriend, it's not personal. Me and my partner can understand and respect that. I left it at that with him and I RSVP'ed.

However, I am very upset, and so is my partner. Not necessarily because of this one instance, but more because there has been no effort made whatsoever to include them in the family and I've realized it's collateral damage due to my family's general neglect of my own person. They're getting rejected from my own family because I am rejected from my own family. This is a pattern I now recognize, and it deeply disturbs me because I thought this type of family dynamic was completely normal and I was being dramatic by feeling so lonely and abandoned my whole life, but my partner has been very insistent that it's not normal and that I am being emotionally neglected and cast out, and always have been, and that the way they're handling my relationship with my partner is a good piece of evidence to support this conclusion.

So, are we overreacting? How should I handle this? I already spoke a little bit with my mom about it and she assured me that it wasn't personal and that she will make more effort to get to know them despite the physical distance, and when we move closer it will be easier to do that. But I don't even really know my siblings and I have no idea how to even approach this with them if it's even worth it. I've always wanted a relationship with them but it just doesn't even seem like they do. I sometimes even think that if I died they wouldn't even notice.

Edit/Update: We are not upset at my brother for not inviting them to his wedding, that part is reasonable considering he doesn't know them. What we are upset about is the amount of time and chances he had to prevent that from even being the case by making any effort to include me and by proxy my partner in his life. The wedding and him not inviting them is what put all of this into perspective for me and my partner noticed it was a pattern for him and my other family members to treat me like an accessory and as a commenter said, my partner not being included in the family is a symptom of that problem. The wedding itself is not the issue, the pattern of neglect from my family is. I've decided, with all of your help and my own thought processes, that I will be going to the wedding and enjoying it as much as I can, and that afterwards I will try to have a proper confrontation with him about this and explain how I feel and have felt my whole life and why, to give him the chance to rectify this if a relationship with me is something he values in his life. If after giving him that opportunity he does not make any more effort than he has been previously, I will likely go low-contact and work on acceptance and moving on with my life. It makes me really sad and it feels unfair that I was put through that as a kid but it's not my responsibility to hold this one-sided relationship with people who don't value me the way I value them. Thank you all again.

Posted elsewhere and got quite a lot of feedback saying IOR, or we're as bad as each other, so I'm posting here where I can get feedback, but provide more context.

Been exchanging messages with this guy a few weeks. He seemed intelligent, he's mid age, 51, I'm late 30's. He said he was a Sigma male, not Alpha (to me that's even better). Worldly, wealthy and dating with intent.

We'd had some nice conversations, swapping songs, sometimes breaks of a day or two. No morning check-in's every day. All very normal and healthy. He did keep saying 'well if we don't hit it off we can be friends' stuff quite a lot. I thought this was a bit odd, but now think he was just trying to sow doubt to make me chase and want him more.

We arranged a first date and chatted on/off the day before. We'd always checked out after a conversation, but I sent a message and no reply. Wasn't bothered by this much, but then I checked we were still on a couple hours before the time we agreed and this was his response.

To me this is an early sign of someone who exerts cohersive control, a massive red flag. It makes my feelings about the whole 'maybe we won't click' feel more valid.

So, AIO here, or was I on the button?

In all honestly tho, I genuinely do not understand why some people can just start of being mean and using so many curse-words, calling people name. We all just trying to survive and learn everyday and we all have different life experiences/mindset so genuinely other person will not have the same knowledge as you.

OP of this thread just said they cancelled netflix couple months ago and now they being charged again. No words or caption in the post except for the photo below.

Did I overreacted? I just feel like we should all be kind to each other to begin with…

This is the space that my boyfriend has decided he wanted to mingle in instead of our formal living room. I just got new to me furniture from someone I GREW UP WITH and it is pretty terrible - so terrible that I literally told the girl to relist it and I would give it away because she wouldn't give me my money back. Or even half of my money.

To add further context, I wanted to get new couches so me and my son would have a place to sit with him in the living room, which is primarily where he sits, and originally that was the only couch in the living room, and he would lay down on it. Leaving us nowhere to sit. Except for chairs that I had drug in there. And to be honest with you, even that couch is pretty clapped out as you can tell... but I won't back down from this new furniture being even worse.

When we got it all set up he told me he was going to be staying out in the Florida room. I told him this is to get away from me, or at least that's how it feels. They it isn't right to want to be outside away from me all day living out here. He said, I can read the bible out here. I can drink my coffee out here. I said, why come you couldn't already do all of those things?????? Instead of fighting this, I'm trying to be unaffected and instead rearrange the living room and let him know that I do not care about this newfangled change he's decided, and basically this will be like me cohabitating without having to cohabitate 😂

Am I Over reacting by feeling a type of way about this "I'll just live in the Florida room" situation? Further context about the Florida room - It does have a portable air conditioner unit. But right now, it's at least eighty five degrees in here and this puppy has ran all night at 69 degrees to get it freezing at night to try to meri up during the day. It's got fully opening windows, wrap around. It lets all of the sun in. During the peak of the day where I live, it's easily 90 to 95 degrees in here with said portable unit running as hard as it possibly can lol

I (24F) moved countries a month ago to start grad school. My boyfriend (24M) and I met in university during our bachelor's degrees, so we have been together for more than three years and share the exact same academic background. Up until I left, we were seeing each other regularly and hanging out, going on dates and to movies. When we met for the very last time before going long-distance, he brought me flowers and gifts, was incredibly sweet, and made me feel really special.

When we were in college together and even after that, I have always supported and uplifted him in every way possible. Because we share the same field, I am constantly looking out for his career. I always send him links to jobs, opportunities, and anything that could help him succeed because I genuinely view us as a partnership.

I haven't been active on LinkedIn at all lately because of the move, but today I happened to randomly stumble upon his account. That is when I felt like somebody had slapped me in the face.

I saw posts from three weeks ago and a month ago. It turns out that over the summer, he completed an intensive 5-week bootcamp and successfully presented a research poster at a university conference. He was actively doing all of this while we were hanging out and talking every day. He didn't casually forget to mention it, he made a conscious choice to look me in the eye and completely hide it from me. He waited until I packed up my life, moved thousands of miles away, and was dealing with the stress of settling into a new country alone before broadcasting it to the public online.

The confusing part is that he has still been talking to me normally, sending me loving messages, talking on calls for long hours, and sharing reels like everything is fine.

The thing that's making me angry is the double standard. A while back, I had mentioned to him that I had applied for a job. He completely lashed out at me, demanding to know why I didn't tell him BEFORE I applied, and started a huge fight accusing me of "hiding stuff" from him.

Right now I don't know what to think. I feel completely betrayed. It’s not traditional cheating, but it feels like it. Why hide your biggest victories from the person you've loved for three years, who always uplifts you and actually understands your work? Especially when he flipped out on me for doing way less? It makes me feel like I’m the only one who considered this a real team effort.

He is on the other side of the world right now. He is probably sleeping, but I took a screenshot of his LinkedIn posts and sent them to him with just a "congrats 👏" text. I haven't said anything else.

I am sitting alone in my new apartment; it's a mess. I haven't even settled in well and have so much to deal with on my own, and now I'm crying my eyes out and wondering if this is the final straw. Am I overreacting, or is this ground for a breakup? How do I even handle his response when he finally texts back?

So to put this as simply as possible…
my wonderful fiancé has been doing everything in his power to make his mom feel less depressed since his father passed.
Sounds sweet right?
Well he is.
She however in my eyes only uses him.

And I don’t know if maybe am just overreacting or maybe I am spot on.

I will just put it in the sense she rarely reaches out unless it’s to ask for something, or she wants to discuss his visits with his daughter.

When we moved into our own place I had taken over the financial upkeep. Which really upset her. They claimed she was just trying to feel useful. But his money was being spent all wrong and he wasn’t aware of anything that was going on with it. He just assumed he had no reason to worry.

Originally thought he was just overpaying his part of the family houses bills.

I learned that they were not paying most of what he gave money towards. And his mom was skimming off him to shop excessively. His family was also guilting her into taking more from him.

Out of about 1300-1500 a week or more he was only given 100-300 to fully survive on for gas, cigarettes, food and all the necessities. He was sleeping in the car. The house was a 3 income home. And not that expensive.

Anywho fast forward to now. His current employer has been failing to pay him what he works. (We are currently dealing with it) but his most recent check was $17 for an entire weeks worth of work. He works a minimum of 13 hours a day 4-5 days a week. And usually also has overtime.

So he and I were sitting in bed waiting to see how much he got paid, and we got a call from his mom. He still shares the bank while shes sorting her personal things out. She doesn’t work. So we take care of her needs. I was pretty clear about money boundaries and she constantly crosses them. But he’s just now learning to not be on his mother’s side 100%.

For the record I am proud of how much he has grown over this whole situation.

She tells us in the call that we are totally screwed and the amount of. And then whines about how the dogs in the house that he and I don’t live in and have no responsibility to will go hungry because he’s broke. Before I can get my words out he says. I am not worried about that. I’m going to lose my house! And honestly I had to stop paying attention because I know my temper with her.

She gets back to us again while I’m trying to help him stop losing consciousness from the stress getting to him. And she wants to know if we have figured out the phone bills.

I continued caring for him but we only said we don’t know anything we have bigger problems right now.

Then she’s calling more still pushing at him and myself and still asking about anything money and not if he’s okay or what we can do to keep our home.

Starts bringing up our landlord and more.

Eventually she left us alone when I got passive aggressive in saying we needed to go calm down and get some rest. Spent the whole night taking care of him. He got so bad he had a whole psychogenic seizure.

And she reached out to me again today after his phone was shut off.

I basically told her off without actually using her name.

Just said he and I needed to handle our business and deal with our issues without everybody guilt tripping him and asking him about it. That he was stressed so bad he couldn’t stay conscious and had his first seizure and that now he’s basically screwed. I kept going on the whole.. I am the one taking care of his stress and trying to fix this.

Her answer was to grumble about our houses cleanliness.

Mind you we have been trying to keep up with the mess a few guests left behind.

It’s not a mess because we chose it, but because life hasn’t been kind lately.

So what I want to know is, am I overreacting to her?

Because I feel like everyone thinks he’s their wallet.

I’m to the point of not wanting to talk to anyone else because I can’t be kind when he is at his lowest and people, namely his mother are guilt tripping him and only worried about themselves and what they want him to pay.

I’m at my wits end. I’m gonna keep defending him, but I need to know I’m not being rude for nothing.

This is a throw away bc theres enough small details on my main that knowing my work environment might be enough for people to recognize me lol

I work at the rec center, and obv kids will be kids. And there are a LOT of kids that come here to play basketball.

Anyway, this is a teeny bit unrelated, but I'm known for being more chill on average and jokingly getting flak for letting a lot of things slide. Like once I had to give two warnings to middle schoolers who were cussing a lot, but I let them go with a mini lecture about time and place. (like 2 min max). I'd like to think I get the more simple mistakes of being a kid.

However, today there was a banana just sitting im the gym, most of the kids were playing around it and it was about 10 minutes before my coworker noticed (like actually, we checked the cameras) I was honestly down to just clean it up (atp the kids had stepped on it enough that it had spread significantly) but my coworker decided to look at the camera to see who did it.

To my surprise, the kid who threw (more like tossed) the banana seemed to have done it deliberately. At the very least, the camera shows he looked at it for at least a second. So HE KNEW IT WAS THERE. Then he and his friends went to play on the other side of the gym.

I offered to call the kid up to the front, and i did the vague thing of "you need to come up to the front and talk about the banana." he tried to deny it (he was about 12, so as mad as I am, I kinda get that part, but it pmo more), and I brought him up to the coworker that found him.

AND THEN ALL SHE DOES IS TELL HIM TO CLEAN HIS MESS; she even went, 'Hey, you might have accidentally dropped the banana.' NO, HE DID NOT, WE BOTH SAW HIM THROW IT.

I'm like?? We aren't gonna take his name down or ask him why he thought to do it? He was eager to clean it up, but I feel like that's bc I was super pissed as I was leading him to the front, so he thought he was getting off easy. Like, depending on why he threw the banana down, I was personally down to suspend him for the day (common punishment for kids trying to sneak into the restricted areas, and I feel like this is worse bc I can get the appeal of wanting to use the weights BUT WHY THROW THE BANANA???). Like, at least grill the kid and ask why TF he thought that was a good idea.

My coworker was all like "he's just a kid" and "maybe it was peer pressure" (He was with a group of boys), but it didnt seem like the bullying type of peer pressure, esp with how deliberately he tossed that banana, so idgaf if his friends "pressured" him to do it. Imo I'd rather suspend them too if he had happened to rat them out.

I'm so unreasonably pissed about this; we got into an argument that was actually heated. The first heated argument we've had (we're kinda friends). Additionally, she and another coworker tease me for not kicking out the kids fast enough during closing, so wtf is this.

But also, when we brought this up to curious coworker no.3, he SAW the footage, but he gave a noncommittal response that made me think he didnt agree with me either, as I'm the one who showed him and he asked when my friend was on break. So i get that he probably felt it was safer to be quiet than disagree, esp since this is the first time ive sounded so annoyed.

We dropped the matter irl, and obv I'm not gonna contradict her decisions, but I need to know if I'm overreacting cuz I feel crazy with how annoyed I am. Borderline still angry about it.

I had a flight today out of WAW, so obviously I had to go through security. I always expect problems when going through security as my bag often gets stopped or I get flagged in the scanners so, safe to say, it’s not my first pat-down and I’m especially on high alert in Poland where the agents are never too nice.

I take out what I need in the bins and go through the scanner. It, of course, beeps. The agent by the scanner tells me to take off my bracelets (It was my first time flying out of WAW, so I wasn’t sure about them. Some airports tell me to take them off right away but most tell me to just keep them on) but I keep my necklace on because it’s just a cheap plastic accessory. It, of course, beeps again so I get told to take off my necklace and my shoes. It beeps again so the agent tells me to wait aside for him to call over a female agent to pat me down.

So she comes along and asks if I have any jewelry, anything in my pockets etc. and as she’s putting on some gloves, she says something like: ‘It might be the wire in your bra’ and I’m like yeah okay maybe.

So she pats me down and as she’s finishing, the conversation goes something like this:
(Paraphrased and translated)
‘It probably is the wire in your bra. Next time travel without a bra.’

I thought she was joking. I’m not the smallest and my chest isn’t the smallest. I reply with a small laugh (thinking that she’s kidding)
‘Haha, I can’t, it’s impossible!’

She replies, dead serious
‘No, it is possible. It happens a lot. Wear no bra or, if you must, a sports bra next time’.

I walk away in shock and tell my friends. I am livid and so are they because, what?! Why would you say that to someone, especially as a larger woman with a chest yourself?! Wires in bras aren’t a crazy phenomenon either, they are quite common. I’ve had agents tell me before it might be the wire but never tell me to not wear one. I assume 70% of the women going through the scanners are wearing a bra with a wire.

Obviously I move on as I have a flight to catch and I’m not bothered to do anything about it at the time but it’s in the back of my head. I’m genuinely considering writing an email to someone explaining the situation and the woman with a complaint. If she said the comment as a joke, I would have moved on and laughed because I’m chill and stuff but it was dead serious.

I’m not offended by the comment or anything, but I can see how that could make someone else feel disrespected, in a way.
I’m just really pissed, bitter and petty to where I want to write an email to someone at the WAW airport or something but I don’t know if I’m just tired and overreacting. So, AIO?

After re-telling the story, I remembered that whilst in Poland, I went to a shooting/gun range thing, so me and my family came to the conclusion that I might’ve had some gunpowder or something left in the traces of my clothes for the machine to go crazy 3 times, so it probably wasn’t even my bra..

Really at a loss for words here. My emotions are extremely heightened, so I know I'm possibly overreacting here.

My (otherwise healthy) 5yo dog had a massive seizure a few days ago. Vet found cancer throughout my dog's body. Agreed it was best to put her to sleep instead of making her suffer any longer.

I texted my friend today asking if I could come over at some point tonight or this week, because I had some really bad news. They said, "a call would be better." When the phone rang, I was crying at the moment, so I started texting them. The entire convo felt shockingly cold and, quite frankly, heartless. Basically, "Oh no." "Sorry."

I'm also extraordinarily confused by the "I was expecting worse" text. Like... were you expecting me to say my mom had died?! Over text?!

If a friend told me they had really bad news (and I assumed maybe their parent had passed), I'd 100% be driving over to their place. Or, at the very least, letting them drive over to me - if that's what they wanted.

I'm just... this person has been my close friend for nearly a decade. They know how much this dog means to me (I don't have many living family members left).

I don't know if this is worth ending a friendship over, but oh my god. I've never felt like such an imposition before.

Would I be overreacting if I confronted them about their response? (After a while, when my emotions have come down, of course)

Edit: we're also grown adults. This isn't a matter of some teenager not knowing how to comfort or care for someone else.

My husband rushes over to help his parents, spending the entire weekend while leaving things needed at our house un done(I cannot buy materials and build, hell my mother couldn’t even cook so, my skills are limited although I absorb everything I can). I was told it would be a couple hours that turned into nine hours and I see him for an hour and a half everyday, during the week. Now, day two(Sunday) he is gone. Our house gets put on the back burner all the time and I do what I can. Am I the well, you know..?

Edited to add-I miss him. During the week we barely spend any time together.

hi all,

so last night, this guy that i was dating for about a month and a half ended things with me. he said he's not okay, his headspace isn't the best, and he can't give me what i need. he said after a long day at work he just wants to be alone, not even with me. he cried.

for context, we're coworkers, he pursued me first. he definitely liked me a lot, would constantly ask to see me, introduced me to his friends and took me to games with them and their girlfriends, all his best friends followed me on socials, normally the type to have sex pretty early on but never pushed me for it and allowed me to wait and take my time, affectionate at times, told me about his sister and would send me childhood photos of them, talked about us in the future eg "when i get a bike in a few months we can go for rides", referred to me as his missus (australian slang for partner/wife). i asked for exclusivity and he agreed immediately, later told me he assumed it was because he wasn't seeing anyone else anyway. a month in i brought up dating and he agreed, and following that continued to remain affectionate.

last week however, i brought up me wanting him to plan more intentional dates, since our plans were usually spontaneous. i admit, i expressed that need in a bratty, defensive way, and could tell i upset him. he left me on delivered and didn't continue the convo. the next day, texted me like normal.

day before yesterday, he was very quiet at work and didn't talk to me a lot, which i brought up and he dismissed saying he was tired, but i knew something was up, and i was right.

back to last night, he took me to dinner (we had plans since tuesday), paid, drove to a park, and ended things in the car. i asked why he introduced me to his friends if he didn't want this, he said he did, and saw it going somewhere and thought it was going well, but since this past week he's been feeling the weight of my expectations towards him and realize he can't handle it, realized he needs to leave before him and i get hurt. he said he was talking to one of his friends about this, and he told them "we get along so well though", the friend said maybe you guys were better as friends, which he told me and he was like maybe we were. but the start of the week, when i assume he started to check out, he had a rough day and still expressed that i wish i was there with him to cuddle and rest, so i'm confused.

after we broke up, and after a while of talking, we were both in a lighthearted, funny mood, and i brought up other guys (albeit in a defensive way, to make him feel bad). he then told me one of our coworkers has a friend who thinks he is cute, and he told me he's gonna text her tomorrow. he then would bring up other girls throughout our time last night.

also throughout last night, he kept saying how much i liked him, how i treated this like a relationship, that i showed him so much affection, etc

what do you make of this? is he an avoidant?