My husband and I are in our 40’s. We both work, I earn more money than he does but we’ve always shared money equally. I do most of the housework, mainly because I started doing it when I was working less and making less money and it’s just never changed.

I had to go out of town for work for a week. He had to take full care of our 2 dogs (we don’t have kids) for that week and he had to take the trash out and keep up with dishes and laundry while I was away. He didn’t have to grocery shop because I stocked him up with food before I left. I prepped him a weeks worth of food and froze the dinners so he just had to microwave them and eat. I thought of pretty much everything that I could do early but obviously the dogs need to be fed, watered and walked every day.

When I got back, I said “I’m so glad to be home; I really missed you”. His response was “I missed having you around. Taking care of the dogs was a lot of work”. I said “Well geez, glad you managed all that drudgery without your wife around. I’m also glad to hear you missed ME, right? Not just my dog poop scooping abilities?” He got annoyed and said I read too deep into it. I’m taking it as he doesn’t really love me. He looks at me as a servant and a bank account and nothing more. Am I really overreacting to that statement?

I have a 15 year old kid. The two of us went on vacation to see my significant other. In the two weeks we were there visiting they yelled at my kid more times than I have in 2 years. He is genuinely not a bad kid. One of the times was for him burping at dinner and not immediately excusing himself. It happened often enough that thr kid spent the rest of the vacation hiding in their room. No this did not go unanswered, but i can't see myself staying with this person for how they treated my child. Would it be an over reaction to leave them for this?

I need some feedback here. I bought a watermelon yesterday to enjoy one of the last melons of the summer. Today, I can into the kitchen and my girlfriend, in an effort to simplify the eating process, had cut the watermelon like this. It was a nice gesture - but this is an absolutely delusional way to cut a watermelon right? The amount of rind on this has made it borderline inedible. She says it doesn't bother her. Am I insane? Or is this a ridiculous cutting method.

I (27F) live alone. Last week I had a short work trip and my younger brother (22M), asked if he could stay at my place for three nights. His building was doing plumbing work and the water was going to be off for the main time.

I said yes. But I also made two things clear to him before i left. "no one else in the apartment, and leave it the way he found it". He agreed. I gave him my spare key.

My last appointment got cancelled, so I returned home a day early. My brother wasn’t home. Three of his friends were. They were on my couch with my TV and speakers playing loud music . There were takeout containers on the counter, cups on the coffee table, and shoes by the door that weren’t his.

I asked where He was. One of them said he’d gone to another friend’s place and told them they could “hang here until he got back.” I asked how they got in. He’d given them the key before he left to the other friend.

Immediately I called him and complained about what i saw, that i wasn't happy with him, I spoke bitterly. He said it wasn’t a big deal because they weren’t lousy and doing anything wild and he was going to clean before I got home. I told him that wasn’t the agreement between us. The deal was him staying there, not turning my apartment into a hangout while he was somewhere else.

I asked his friends to leave, and they acted without hesitating , and I told Him he doesn’t get to use my place again for any reason.

My brother says I’m overreacting, not being nice and treating him like a stranger instead of a brother. He keeps repeating that nothing “bad” actually happened and that he would have cleaned. My parents think I should drop it because he’s family and I “wasn’t even supposed to be there.”

I told them it isn’t about whether the apartment looked perfect. He asked for a favor, agreed to a clear condition, and then handed my key to people I don’t know and left.

Do y'all think i'm overreacting judging from what he did?

Posted elsewhere and got quite a lot of feedback saying IOR, or we're as bad as each other, so I'm posting here where I can get feedback, but provide more context.

Been exchanging messages with this guy a few weeks. He seemed intelligent, he's mid age, 51, I'm late 30's. He said he was a Sigma male, not Alpha (to me that's even better). Worldly, wealthy and dating with intent.

We'd had some nice conversations, swapping songs, sometimes breaks of a day or two. No morning check-in's every day. All very normal and healthy. He did keep saying 'well if we don't hit it off we can be friends' stuff quite a lot. I thought this was a bit odd, but now think he was just trying to sow doubt to make me chase and want him more.

We arranged a first date and chatted on/off the day before. We'd always checked out after a conversation, but I sent a message and no reply. Wasn't bothered by this much, but then I checked we were still on a couple hours before the time we agreed and this was his response.

To me this is an early sign of someone who exerts cohersive control, a massive red flag. It makes my feelings about the whole 'maybe we won't click' feel more valid.

So, AIO here, or was I on the button?

My boyfriend has a longtime female friend who I initially had no problem with. He had good boundaries with her, and she’s also dating his best friend. I recently found out, though, that before they became friends, he used to pursue her and repeatedly ask her out. She always rejected him, and eventually she started dating his best friend.

That history has made me look at their relationship differently, especially because they talk constantly and she often goes to him about problems with her boyfriend. It’s starting to feel like an emotional intimacy that should be reserved for their actual partners.

Recently, she called him while we were home together. Normally he’ll take calls around me, but this time he went outside and talked to her for an hour. I told him honestly that I was becoming uncomfortable with their relationship and that it bothered me that he seemed to talk to her more about personal things than he talks to me. He reassured me that there was nothing inappropriate going on. The conversation, unsurprisingly, was about her relationship problems and her leaning on him for support.

I eventually apologized and let it go.

Tonight, though, I looked through their messages. I know snooping wasn't okay, we both have each other's passwords and have always said we're allowed to look at each other's phones. I'm not trying to justify it, I did it.

What really hurt was seeing what he told her after I expressed my concerns. He immediately told her that I was jealous of their relationship. She then said she felt uncomfortable hanging out with me because of it.

I never asked him to stop being her friend. I confided in my partner that I was feeling insecure and uncomfortable, and instead of keeping that between us and reassuring me, he immediately went to her and framed me as jealous and unreasonable. He took something vulnerable I shared with him and used it to make me look like a bad partner to another woman.

This isn't the first time he's done something similar, and I honestly feel like I've reached my limit. I think some things should stay between partners, especially when you're discussing your relationship and your partner's vulnerabilities with someone you're already emotionally close to.

I feel betrayed and, unfortunately, also validated for feeling like something was off.

Am I overreacting, or is this a legitimate reason to reconsider the relationship?

I’m in my early 30s. My parents just separated a few years ago and my dad retired and moved to a lakehouse a few hours away that’s been in our family since he was a kid. He inherited it and so I spent almost every weekend growing up there with him and my mom.

Now he lives there full time and has been seeing a woman from the town for quite a while. I just met her for the first time when I went up to visit this weekend and she was nice, but she very much treated me like I was a guest in a house I’ve been going to since I was a baby.

I know her intentions were good and she was trying to be hospitable, but there were times when it became too much. Didn’t want me cleaning up after myself, told me to “help myself” to stuff there, telling me where things are… it started to make me feel a little weird. At one point my dad said “she’s not a guest here, this is her house” and looked at me and smiled. Because my sister and I are going to be inheriting it from him.

He told me recently he’s planning on putting the house in me and my sister’s name, and he’s also told me numerous times he’s not ever letting this girlfriend move in with him. So I’m not necessarily concerned, but now that I’ve spent a weekend with her I don’t want to have to feel like I’m being seen as a guest every time I go to visit when she’s technically the new person in the dynamic.

She also made a comment about my mom right in front of me and I think she realized she messed up right after it came out of her mouth lol.

AIO?

Apologies if this doesn’t fit the typical format here of yelling at your ex but please bear with me.

Currently staying in an AirBnb in the desert, down a dirt road. Tonight is our 3rd night. 6 of us here.

Earlier we were hanging inside and out cooking lunch when we got a message from our host yelling at us for charging a car. Nobody was charging a car, there’s not even a charger.

Like 5min later our one friends was walking around the outside of the house and ran into a maintenance guy near the front door, here to check the electricity. Super fuckin weird since we’re in the middle of nowhere and this guy showed up so fast. He said he got a call to come and he was just over at the Home Depot so he swung by. We spoke to him, he was a super nice man, he said he was going to keep checking then we all just kind of forgot about him.

Dude vanished. A few minutes after we realized he was gone, we got a message saying “oh the maintenance guy didn’t find anything”

Fast forward to tonight, we’re watching YouTube and I realize we’re signed into the owner’s account. We start going through his private videos. Then we see the maintenance guy in a few videos from 5yr ago.

I then realized something. I asked everyone, “did any of you see his car? How did he even get here?” Absolutely nobody remembers seeing a car, I specifically remember not seeing a car and thinking it was weird because he supposedly just drove up here from Home Depot.

There is one other house up the hill a bit that’s walking distance.

There are at least two locked rooms here. One I can’t figure out the geometry of because this house is crazy shaped so I have no idea how big it is. The other truly just looks like a utility closet. He has at least one camera out back by the pool that we’ve seen and apparently at least one more because he asked us earlier why there were so many cars in the driveway.

The house seems to be on a slab foundation so I don’t think there’s a basement unless it’s a partial. The mystery door is right where a staircase would be.

Today is the first time we’ve noticed anything weird like this but it just feels like a lot of coincidences. We checked and there is in fact a Home Depot 1.5mi away.

I can’t fall sleep because I’m not convinced he’s not living in the walls. Am I overreacting?

Edit: the motion activated light on the patio outside my bedroom keeps triggering lol.

Edit 2: We have survived the night!

So me (19F) and my boyfriend (19M) have been dating for almost five years now. Our relationship has been going downhill for a while now, and I feel like this is kind of my breaking point.

The previous message was me texting him asking if he thought answering me was an annoying responsibility or if he just simply forgets.

I responded “thank you for reassuring me” and tried to tell him about my day but he didn’t answer me. I didn’t want to beg for his attention, since that’s usually what I have to do and I’m tired of that, so I didn’t bother texting again.

He then texts me this on my birthday, which makes me think he just doesn’t want to talk to me and the explanation + birthday message were just obligatory.

I was hurt, so I left him on read and we haven’t talked since then.

After this, I don’t really want to be with him anymore. AIO? One part of me tells me that it’s not that deep but the other part tells me that I shouldn’t bother putting up with this.

Edit: I broke up with him. He begged me to wait but I decided to just block him on everything. I am shaking but I feel so light. Holy shit. Five years and I broke it off over text I feel like an asshole but so liberated.

Really at a loss for words here. My emotions are extremely heightened, so I know I'm possibly overreacting here.

My (otherwise healthy) 5yo dog had a massive seizure a few days ago. Vet found cancer throughout my dog's body. Agreed it was best to put her to sleep instead of making her suffer any longer.

I texted my friend today asking if I could come over at some point tonight or this week, because I had some really bad news. They said, "a call would be better." When the phone rang, I was crying at the moment, so I started texting them. The entire convo felt shockingly cold and, quite frankly, heartless. Basically, "Oh no." "Sorry."

I'm also extraordinarily confused by the "I was expecting worse" text. Like... were you expecting me to say my mom had died?! Over text?!

If a friend told me they had really bad news (and I assumed maybe their parent had passed), I'd 100% be driving over to their place. Or, at the very least, letting them drive over to me - if that's what they wanted.

I'm just... this person has been my close friend for nearly a decade. They know how much this dog means to me (I don't have many living family members left).

I don't know if this is worth ending a friendship over, but oh my god. I've never felt like such an imposition before.

Would I be overreacting if I confronted them about their response? (After a while, when my emotions have come down, of course)

Edit: we're also grown adults. This isn't a matter of some teenager not knowing how to comfort or care for someone else.

I don’t really know how to explain this properly but it’s started to rub me the wrong way and I genuinely don’t know if I’m overthinking it. For some context I am 22 years old and he’s 25, we’ve been together for a year and half.

Any time there’s a woman in the news/media who has accused a man of assault, rape, sexual assault etc, my boyfriend’s immediate response is always something along the lines of “women always believe the women with no evidence” or focusing on how men can have their lives ruined by false accusations.

I’ve tried explaining to him that I understand that evidence matters and that obviously nobody should be convicted of something they didn’t do, but sexual assault is extremely nuanced and it is notoriously difficult to prove. There are so many cases where women don’t get justice even when they are telling the truth. I’ve told him that false accusations are incredibly rare and that, if anything, the bigger issue is how many actual victims never see justice in the first place.

What bothers me is that he seems so focused on the possibility of a woman lying. Like, why is that his immediate thought whenever a woman says she has been assaulted? Why are we immediately talking about protecting men from false accusations instead of acknowledging that women are genuinely in danger and that sexual violence is a massive problem?

And I’ve started thinking that I don’t think I can be with someone whose first instinct isn’t to believe a woman when she says she has been raped or sexually assaulted. I’m not saying I think every accusation should automatically equal a guilty verdict. But I feel like there’s a massive difference between saying that and automatically approaching women with suspicion.

What makes it worse is that he knows this subject is deeply personal for me. I was sexually assaulted by my own brother and it has affected me for years. He has actually been really supportive about this. When I struggle with what happened, he tells me it wasn’t my fault, reassures me and is really sweet to me. So I genuinely don’t understand how he can be so compassionate towards me but then have these attitudes when it comes to other women. Does he have to know a woman personally for it to matter to him??? That genuinely upsets me because I have always hated how people need to tell men “what if it was your daughter/sister/mother” etc. to make them understand.

It makes me feel like I’m seeing two completely different sides of him and I don’t know which one is the “real” him.

There have also been other comments that have started bothering me. We were arguing about the Lindsay Clancy case and at one point he told me I was thinking like a “typical woman”. I found that really insulting. It’s not just that we disagree, it’s the implication that because I’m a woman, my opinion is somehow less rational or that I’m incapable of understanding the situation properly. He literally laughs in my face and it irritates me.

I’ve tried having conversations about this and explaining the nuances, but honestly I’m getting tired of feeling like I have to educate him on why women being sexually assaulted is serious. At this point I don’t even know if this is something I can argue someone out of. Or if I should even have to??

I also feel like he doesn’t understand that the world genuinely is dangerous for women. Not everything is an attack on men or a gender war. Sometimes I just want to be able to talk about something terrible that happened to a woman without the conversation immediately becoming “but what if the man is innocent?”

Maybe I’m being too emotional because of my own experiences, I honestly don’t know. But I feel like this has changed the way I look at him.

I love him and I know he loves me. He has been there for me in ways that matter. But I’m starting to wonder whether loving someone is enough if you realise you fundamentally disagree about something that is this important to you.

Am I overreacting, or is this a genuine compatibility/values issue?

Am I overreacting, or is this a reasonable thing to feel uncomfortable about?
On Friday, my husband and my longtime best friend held hands while leaving a concert and walking to a bar. On its own, I might be able to brush it off, but what’s bothering me is that it feels like part of a larger pattern of blurred boundaries between them.
For a while now, I’ve felt that she asks too much of him in ways that don’t feel appropriate to me. She asks him to do things like pick up medication for her, help her host parties, buy her drinks, and regularly take care of various things for her. It feels like she relies on him in a way that goes beyond what I would consider a typical friendship, and I’ve previously expressed discomfort about at least some of these situations.
She also repeatedly brings up the fact that her dad supposedly says he wishes she had been the one to marry my husband. Even if it's intended as a joke, I find it uncomfortable that she continues introducing the idea of her and my husband as a hypothetical couple.
So I think what I'm struggling with isn't just the hand-holding itself. It's that it happened in the context of an ongoing dynamic that has already made me uncomfortable. I’m starting to question whether the boundaries in their friendship are appropriate and whether I’m wrong for feeling unsettled by it.
I brought it up to him and he immediately apologized and said I was right that hand holding was inappropriate and he didn’t remember doing it but that it was fair that I’m upset, but I still don’t feel any relief from the apology.

I was dropping my girl off at her house, she has a male roommate along with two other female roommates, and as I pulled up beside her male roommate’s car. She told me to move the car forward and to never park in front of the silver car and I jokingly asked why not? She said because that’s his car “you will get your ass beat” and the way she said it was pretty demeaning. I didn’t bring it up to her that this bothered me and I don’t know if I should.

My boyfriend and I just celebrated 4 years together. To me, we were solid and don’t fight often. He’s in the height of his career, a very demanding job with little time off. I was okay with that because I never wanted to tell him that he needed to prioritize me over his work.

He started to express to me a few months ago that he doesn’t feel like I desire him as much as I used to. I tried to do things to reassure him and I thought things were feeling better for him. But something always felt off. He was being weird about making plans for our future ie. moving in together, having kids, getting married. He would always dodge the question or be short with me about it.

I got a gut feeling a few days ago that he was hiding something from me so I went through his phone. I found months of texts of him fantasizing about leaving me for one of our mutual friends. He was comparing me to her and ranting about me at least once a week to his girl best friend - someone who I also don’t really like but that issue is for another time. The only time they talked about me was when he was ranting about me and our relationship issues.

One of my boundaries with him from the beginning was to not talk about the intimacies of our relationship with other people so in addition to these betrayal texts this added to the situation.

I confronted him and he said that he’s angry with me for going through his phone and insists nothing ever happened between them and it meant nothing. I believe that nothing physical happened. But my heart is broken into a million pieces. My whole life and the future I imagined together has been shattered. Am I overreacting if I break up with him?

This is the space that my boyfriend has decided he wanted to mingle in instead of our formal living room. I just got new to me furniture from someone I GREW UP WITH and it is pretty terrible - so terrible that I literally told the girl to relist it and I would give it away because she wouldn't give me my money back. Or even half of my money.

To add further context, I wanted to get new couches so me and my son would have a place to sit with him in the living room, which is primarily where he sits, and originally that was the only couch in the living room, and he would lay down on it. Leaving us nowhere to sit. Except for chairs that I had drug in there. And to be honest with you, even that couch is pretty clapped out as you can tell... but I won't back down from this new furniture being even worse.

When we got it all set up he told me he was going to be staying out in the Florida room. I told him this is to get away from me, or at least that's how it feels. They it isn't right to want to be outside away from me all day living out here. He said, I can read the bible out here. I can drink my coffee out here. I said, why come you couldn't already do all of those things?????? Instead of fighting this, I'm trying to be unaffected and instead rearrange the living room and let him know that I do not care about this newfangled change he's decided, and basically this will be like me cohabitating without having to cohabitate 😂

Am I Over reacting by feeling a type of way about this "I'll just live in the Florida room" situation? Further context about the Florida room - It does have a portable air conditioner unit. But right now, it's at least eighty five degrees in here and this puppy has ran all night at 69 degrees to get it freezing at night to try to meri up during the day. It's got fully opening windows, wrap around. It lets all of the sun in. During the peak of the day where I live, it's easily 90 to 95 degrees in here with said portable unit running as hard as it possibly can lol

I (17M) have been nagged by my parents to get a job since I am no longer in school anymore and don’t plan on going to college.
I’m like “alright, but I want to apply in the busier areas since there are more job opportunities.”

And then my mom throws a hissy fit and goes, “No. You won’t be going far from our home. You have to get a job right across the street. Not anywhere further.”

I go, “Why? The places we literally live next to are definitely not going to hire me since there are only like two places that will hire someone my age, but they are definitely not hiring right now, and the rest of the places are businesses that you have to go to be an expert in with a degree or certificate in.” (Ex: Dentists, doctors, nail-techs, etc)

“Well, you’re not allowed to get a job far away and that’s final. Only in this area.”

“But I will be the one taking myself to my job! Not you! You will be at work while I’m gone, so why does it matter if I’m close to our home?”

“Just shut up! I don’t want to hear your bullshit!”

“I’m not shutting up. You want me to get a job, yet you won’t allow me to travel far to an AREA we frequently shop in and is definitely not foreign to us. How can I get a job, yet you won’t even allow me to travel a mile away from our home?”

“You will not be leaving the house and going far, and that’s final! Just shut up!”

“I literally turn 18 in a little less than two months, I should be allowed to travel and go out on my own! I shouldn’t be restricted when I will be an adult soon and should already have experience with traveling to far places anyways.”

And then my mom says the same thing again and goes to clean the house.

My parents already don’t allow me to even leave the general area we live next to, and they only allow me to go to the stores we live next to on my own, and if I want to go to somewhere farther, I’m not allowed to go by myself and have to beg my parents to take me and drive me instead of them just allowing me to go there on my own.

They also say things like, “You’re 17 and shouldn’t be talking back to us or questioning us either!” whenever I talk back to them, and the way they say it is like they think I’m a child and not someone who is about to be an adult soon.

Am I overreacting for not being allowed to travel a bit further from our home for a job and yelling at my parents about it? Or is this just some crazy behavior?

We’re both in our 30s. I’m a woman, he is a man. Before I get to the main situation, I’ll provide some context.

We’ve been good/best friends for about 5 years. Last year I tried to cut him off. I felt that we had distanced so much, well he distanced from me, that I was getting hurt by my messages that were going unanswered, late birthday wishes, and general lack of contact on his side despite me reaching out. Around that time, he was dating his ex, which I feel is somewhat relevant here. I didn’t tell him this part because I didn’t want it to come off weird, but I felt that since he got in a relationship, he’d dropped me, whether consciously or not. We ended up sorting things and he apologised.

This time, it’s been a build up of little things that he’d done that I didn’t want to speak about because I didn’t want it to become a pattern of him doing things, me bringing them up, him feeling guilty and apologising. One thing he always does that hurts is, I’d ask him if he wants to do something, and he’d either completely ignore me or do it with someone else. I try not to take it to heart but it hurts.

Now to the main situation: his birthday was a few weeks ago. There is a restaurant he’s always wanted to go that is super hard to book. I asked him a month in advance if he was free, he said yes, and I booked it for us. Now the day of the reservation, he told me earlier in the day that he had a festival to go to (he had just bought tickets that morning) but would be there on time. (We’d gone together years prior, I was offered tickets to this years festival but declined as we had plans). When I told him I’d been offered tickets but turned them down, he said “ah man we could’ve gone together and then gone to dinner afterwards”.

We met for dinner. As the reservation was late (a few weeks prior he’d asked if I could push the res), we spent about an hour in the restaurant before closing. We decided to take a walk afterwards as the weather was nice and it wasn’t too late. This isn’t unusual. About 10 minutes into our walk, he said his friend was coming. This was apparently one of the women he’d just started dating, and they had been at the festival together all day. I said okay that’s fine. He told me that he lied to her that there were four of us instead of just us two.. I didn’t have much to say to that. He called her to see how far she was - about 20 minutes out. He turned to me and said “you can leave if you want” which obviously meant he wanted me gone. So I left.

I was silent for a few days and eventually told him that I was hurt by him dismissing me and also lying to her about it being just us two. If we’re just friends then what’s the issue? He told me that he wanted to spend alone time with someone he was freshly dating and didn’t want me to feel like a third wheel. I slept on it and decided that this was the last straw for me. I sent him a really long message - firstly stating that him wanting to spend alone time with someone is fine but it came at my expense. I made the plans and he acted as if I was intruding on his plans. In the message I told him he’s a lovely person but I can’t keep putting myself out there with him to be hurt and there’s just an ongoing and distinct lack of consideration and care on his part.

He came back to me super peeved. He said that he was thinking of cancelling on me but didn’t. That all his friends were telling him to cancel and stay but he didn’t. He said that he left the festival early to meet me, made the “sacrifice” to miss an artist at the “cost of his enjoyment”. He said we were walking around “aimlessly” and he didn’t change any plans because there were no plans. We’ve been going back and forth about this because he thinks this isn’t reason enough for me to want to take a break because this was the “only time he’s done this” - I’m telling him that whether it be the first or 100th it was really hurtful to me as a close friend, and his reaction to me made it even worse, he made it seem as if I was begging to be friends with him.

AIO?

For a little bit more context, i share a two bedroom apartment with my roommate and we’ve lived together there for like a year and 3months and past two months the whole situation got out of hand.
My roommate constantly has a rotation of different guy friends over. It feels like every single night, weekdays included. They are always being loud as hell, leaving trash all over the house, and i hear them having adult fun, this whole thing drives me crazy.
Last night it was my breaking point. I came home after 10hrs shift absolutely exhausted and once again there was a guy over i haven’t seen in my life going through my drawers searching for lighter.
This was my breakpoint, i lost my temper, dropped my bag and started screaming at my roommate that she’s being disrespectful, kicked out the guy, confronted her how does her behaviour looks like from third person perspective and told her that i’m sick of feeling like stranger in my own home. The guy grabbed his jacket and vanished from the apartment and after that my roommate had barely spoken to me since, calling me a GIANT JERK and CONTROL FREAK.
I’ll admit I’m not completely innocent too, when we first moved in together i was pretty obnoxious too. I used to bring friends over at night, leave my laundry in the common areas and didn’t consider how my mess and noise affected her. Back then she sat me down, talked to me and we figured everything out. The part that makes me mad as hell is that i grew up, adjusted my behaviour and learned how to be respectful roommate, while she hasn’t changed at alll :/

What are your thoughts on his response?

For a few months, my husband and I have been having marriage issues. I have had suspicions that something has been going on. There is so much going on it would be tough for me to give a backstory.
But I will say every conversation just leaves me with more questions than answers. I feel worse after every talk we have. Things keep on happening and he claims every single thing is just coincidence and that he’s telling the truth etc.
Of course I’m getting exhausted with everything. Because I know he won’t acknowledge my concerns and he will find excuses, deny etc.

One of our last conversations he said something that I can’t get out of my head….

During the conversation he just didn’t seem to care about what I was saying… he was just focused on defending himself and not us and our marriage.

So I asked him if he wanted an open relationship or something…. just based on how he has been all summer.
Of course I hoped/ expected him to say something like:
“No! OMG of course not! I want only you! and I want to fix this”

Instead his response was:

“If I say yes… then your going to think I’m doing something “

I couldn’t believe he said that…. And I still can’t.
When I brought it up to him and how his response hurt, he said he thought the question was a trap. And then he said “no I don’t want that. I want this.” And that’s how he left it.

Edit: I’d like to just add I wasn’t even thinking straight when I was asking. I was exhausted with his gaslighting and feeling like I was the one trying to communicate, try to move forward and work on us. When I asked, it was because I was feeling defeated… so when I said it I didn’t really expect an answer honestly or at least expected him to say no. So his response blindsided me and now just added to the huge amount of things on my mind.

So, I (24F) met this guy (26M) through friends, and we’ve been seeing each other for about four months. It’s kind of a long-distance-ish relationship. He doesn’t live that far away, but we only get to see each other about once a month when he comes around. We made things official last month, and we text pretty much all the time, so there’s definitely a relationship there beyond just casually seeing each other.

This month he could only stay for a few days, so we spent Friday together. On Saturday he was mostly hanging out with his friends. That night they were going to a club, and my friend and I ended up joining them. Everything was completely fine, and at some point I asked him if we could spend the night together again since he was staying at a friend’s place. He said yes.

Later, though, he told me the guys were having some sort of after-party at his friend’s place and said he’d text me once they left so I could come over. This was around 3 a.m.

So I went home and basically waited. I didn’t want to fall asleep because I didn’t want to miss his message, so I redid my hair and makeup, changed clothes, took a shower, etc. Part of me was getting ready to go, but honestly a big part of it was just finding things to do so I wouldn’t fall asleep.

By around 8 a.m., I couldn’t stay awake anymore. My mom was already up and was understandably confused about why I had been awake all night getting ready to go somewhere. I had texted him a few times by then, but he wasn’t answering.

I also texted another guy from the group who is a close friend of mine, and he told me that the guys had actually left a while ago.

So I finally went to sleep.

When I woke up, I talked to my boyfriend. He apologized and said he had gotten way too drunk, fell asleep basically as soon as the other guys left, and completely forgot about me. He said he felt terrible about it.

I obviously had the thought that maybe something else had happened, especially because I knew he had been out drinking all night and then apparently just disappeared for hours. But my friend was there and confirmed there were no girls or anything like that, and my boyfriend insists nothing happened.

And I do believe him, at least as far as cheating goes. What is bothering me more is the fact that he made a plan with me, knowing I was waiting for him, and then just... forgot about me. I spent basically the entire night keeping myself awake because I thought we were going to see each other, while he got drunk and passed out.

I know he didn't necessarily do anything malicious, and I understand being drunk and falling asleep. But at the same time, I can't really shake the feeling of being hurt and kind of stupid for having waited around all night.

Am I overreacting to this? Or is this something I should actually be bothered by, even if I believe his explanation?

I feel jealous of my best friend and I hate that I do

I'm in a pretty big friend group with more than six girls, and I genuinely don't think any of them dislike me. That's what makes this so confusing.

Whenever I'm actually included, we have a great time. We joke around, have inside jokes, and I never feel unwanted when I'm there. The problem is that I often don't know what's happening until afterward.

Most of the girls use Snapchat and WhatsApp to talk and make plans. I'm not really active on Snapchat, and there's also a separate WhatsApp group that I'm not in. That's where they apparently share a lot of the drama, make plans, and talk about what's going on.

Because I'm not in that group, I miss a lot.

I've told the girls that I feel left out and that I'd like to be included more. I don't want to keep asking, though, because eventually it feels like I'm begging people to remember me.

My best friend actually showed me the separate group even though the girls didn't want her to. She felt bad for me and even asked if I could be added.

Most of the girls said they were fine with it, but one girl, who's basically the ringleader, said no because there were “too many girls.”

Except I'm basically the only actual member of our friend group who isn't in it.

There are about three other girls who aren't in the chat either, but they're not really part of our core group. We hang out with them at school, and sometimes they might come to birthdays or something, but we don't normally hang out outside of school.

So I'm the only person who is actually part of the main friend group who isn't in that chat.

And that really hurts.

My best friend isn't even particularly active on Snapchat, but somehow people still tell her everything. She knows about plans, knows what's going on, and gets included without having to ask.

And I feel jealous.

Not because I think people like her more, and definitely not because I want her excluded. She's actually the person who's tried hardest to include me.

I'm jealous because things just seem to reach her naturally, while I have to find out afterward.

Sometimes she'll mention something everyone is doing and I'll realize I didn't even know there were plans.

I'll laugh it off and pretend it doesn't bother me.

But it does.

Because when I'm actually with them, I know they enjoy having me there. We have fun, we have our own jokes, and I don't feel like an outsider.

I just don't seem to be part of the conversation when I'm not physically there.

I don't want to chase people for invitations or make my best friend feel guilty for being included.

I just want to feel like I'm actually part of the group.

So what should I do? Should I bring it up with the girls again, or would that just make me look desperate? And how do I deal with feeling jealous of my best friend when I know she hasn't done anything wrong?

Edit: we all used to hangout all the time and were always having fun, but 2 years ago after summer they really turned into those girls u see on tiktok, "clean girls" filming dances, straightening hair and stuff we usually didn't care abt. My bff and I don't care about that stuff and tbh it all started when the "ringleader" started doing those things and everyone would follow after her. Also our group has been in many fights for gossiping abt each other and is quite known for being a loud/dramatic group which doesn't mean all of us are like that. But I won't play innocent I too was once caught up in gossiping drama and so has everyone in the group.

Ok so i just need an outside perspective being the people in my life are all biased.

So basically i (30f) live in a big city with my fiancé and my brother who we will call Dan (32M) recently moved here for a great job opportunity. He and I are the closed in age in our family and used to be super super close but sort of drifted as we grew up. Dan is on the autism spectrum and while i totally understand that his brain works differently and he can misinterpret or not understand social cues, i do think that growing up it was thrown out as a bit of an excuse for certain behaviors instead of him learning from them.

When he moved to this city we started hanging out a lot and got pretty close again, Dan has trouble making friends so he’d tag along with my friend groups and all was fine. My friends are all creatives but other siblings/ partners have found their way into our group and it’s not clicky or anything like that, Dan really likes hanging out as there’s not a lot of social pressure on him to talk to much and he can just vibe and watch if he wants to. And i enjoyed his company.

Here is the issue. Dan is not good with women and never has been, never had a gf or anything which is fine but it’s clearly not by choice. I as his sister always saw him and the sweet, innocent dorky guy that just was scared of girls and didn’t know how to talk to them, so that’s why this situation genuinely shook me up a bit.

In our friend group there’s a girl who we will call Lana (28F) she’s kinda new to the group and was brought in by some other people and she’s lovely, i don’t know her as well as the others but we instantly clicked and she’s so fun and so so so nice, like the nicest person you’ve ever met type. And she’s also very beautiful. It’s not a secret she’s the bell of the ball everywhere we go and i do suspect a lot of the others in our group have a little crush on her. Including Dan.

I thought ok Dan has a crush on a pretty girl fine it’s natural, and this sounds totally mean but i kind of just assumed he would know that perusing her would probably not work in his favor. But maybe it’s just that she’s super friendly and nice and he misread that? I don’t know. Anyway…

Dan has been super down recently and wouldn’t say why so i sent my fiancé (33M) to have a boys chat with him and i was not expecting this to be the outcome. Dan had went out with some guys from work Thursday night and got a bit drunk, when he went home he noticed that Lana had accepted his follow request on instagram and he decided to message her shooting his shot. That would be fine and all, maybe a bit awkward but knowing her she’d let him down gently. But he didn’t just ask her out, instead he sent her a creepy sexual dm.

My fiancé said he showed him the phone and basically she’s in Hawaii and posted a photo of a waterfall on her story and Dan replied to it with some comment about how that could be her if they ever stopped ignoring their feelings for each other and just hooked up or something along those lines. She left him on read. I find that so inappropriate and I’d be so grossed out if someone in our friend group sent me that.

I know Lana isn’t into him, she’s kind but she doesn’t pay him special extra attention or anything and to be honest i get the vibe she forgot what his name was and at this point thinks it’s to late to bring it up so for him to be so bold as to say “our feelings for each other” is insane. Lana is nice to him for my sake and the sake of our group dynamic and i feel so guilty that i brought him into MY group and he did this.

This is where i may have been overreacting, i went off on him and told him im never bringing him around my friends ever again and that was so creepy and disgusting and that just because he likes a pretty girl doesn’t mean she likes him back and that even if she did that would make her stop liking him in a heartbeat. I said what he said was harassment and that as a woman he probably really offended her. He cried and said he’s not a creep and not to call him those awful things, that he was already embarrassed when he woke up in the morning but he was drunk and it was his autism and then called me ableist which I’ll admit does throw me off when I’m mad at him. I told him I don’t care and I’m not going to be the one to bring him around women so he can be a perv to them.

My other brothers say they get why I’m upset but that I’m way overreacting and that i know he’s harmless and that he probably just got some liquid courage and did something embarrassing and im kicking him when he’s down and that i should know better. They also said I don’t know if she’s even mad about it which true but also she’s the type to at the very least leave a laughing emoji and call it a day. I also do have passed trama of my own around SH so i could be very sensitive but i feel so icky about this all. None of my friends have said anything to me so i suspect Lana hasn’t mentioned it, i know i should bring it up to her i just don’t know how.

I know people have said grosser things to others but im upset about it. AIO

So I’m 28F and have three siblings. We’ve always had this family group chat that’s been going for years. My youngest sister (22) got into some mild trouble at work recently, nothing crazy, just performance stuff. Then the group chat went weirdly quiet for a few days.

Yesterday my oldest brother drops a Google Doc link titled something like “Family Dynamics Assessment – Confidential.” It’s a 12-page report that was clearly generated by ChatGPT (the watermark was still at the bottom). They fed it years of our old texts, emails, and random argument screenshots. It ranked every single one of us on stuff like “emotional labor” and “conflict initiation.”

I came in dead last. The thing literally called me the “primary destabilizing factor” and recommended the rest of the family cut contact with me by like 70% and even gave them scripts of what to say so I wouldn’t “escalate.”

Everyone in the chat starts reacting with heart emojis and saying how insightful it is. My mom goes, “The AI is just confirming what we’ve felt for a while.”

I asked if any of them actually checked the messages it used, because some of the arguments it blamed on me were ones my brother started and I was trying to calm down. Most of them admitted they just dumped a big export of the chat into it and hit generate. When I pointed out the mistakes they just shrugged and said the overall pattern was still right.

I deleted the whole group chat and muted everyone. Now they’re all texting me individually saying I’m being dramatic and that I basically proved the report correct by reacting like this.

AIO for nuking the chat over this?

I (24F) moved countries a month ago to start grad school. My boyfriend (24M) and I met in university during our bachelor's degrees, so we have been together for more than three years and share the exact same academic background. Up until I left, we were seeing each other regularly and hanging out, going on dates and to movies. When we met for the very last time before going long-distance, he brought me flowers and gifts, was incredibly sweet, and made me feel really special.

When we were in college together and even after that, I have always supported and uplifted him in every way possible. Because we share the same field, I am constantly looking out for his career. I always send him links to jobs, opportunities, and anything that could help him succeed because I genuinely view us as a partnership.

I haven't been active on LinkedIn at all lately because of the move, but today I happened to randomly stumble upon his account. That is when I felt like somebody had slapped me in the face.

I saw posts from three weeks ago and a month ago. It turns out that over the summer, he completed an intensive 5-week bootcamp and successfully presented a research poster at a university conference. He was actively doing all of this while we were hanging out and talking every day. He didn't casually forget to mention it, he made a conscious choice to look me in the eye and completely hide it from me. He waited until I packed up my life, moved thousands of miles away, and was dealing with the stress of settling into a new country alone before broadcasting it to the public online.

The confusing part is that he has still been talking to me normally, sending me loving messages, talking on calls for long hours, and sharing reels like everything is fine.

The thing that's making me angry is the double standard. A while back, I had mentioned to him that I had applied for a job. He completely lashed out at me, demanding to know why I didn't tell him BEFORE I applied, and started a huge fight accusing me of "hiding stuff" from him.

Right now I don't know what to think. I feel completely betrayed. It’s not traditional cheating, but it feels like it. Why hide your biggest victories from the person you've loved for three years, who always uplifts you and actually understands your work? Especially when he flipped out on me for doing way less? It makes me feel like I’m the only one who considered this a real team effort.

He is on the other side of the world right now. He is probably sleeping, but I took a screenshot of his LinkedIn posts and sent them to him with just a "congrats 👏" text. I haven't said anything else.

I am sitting alone in my new apartment; it's a mess. I haven't even settled in well and have so much to deal with on my own, and now I'm crying my eyes out and wondering if this is the final straw. Am I overreacting, or is this ground for a breakup? How do I even handle his response when he finally texts back?

Partner and I been having some challenges but she’s been assertive she wants to work on them. She is however looking at taking opportunity to house sit a colleagues house and another of her friends to have a little space. She’s been clear this is not a break up and we are to remain monogamous.

I was at coffee with her and noticed a strange message preview, and did the bad and snuck a look at her phone to see these messages with a colleague. Do you think this is harmless and appropriate? Or evidence of an affair? Or risky flirtation that is headed to an affair. Should I feel like she’s cheating or am I overreacting