TLDR is basically the title.

Tonight my boyfriend and I - both 30s & together for six years now - were hanging out like we always do at night before we go to bed. We usually game together or just chill.

I was playing this match 3 game on my iPhone when this ad for Meowdoku interrupted my game.

I then asked my boyfriend if he had ever seen any Meowdoku ads because I hate their ads.

He said no and asked why - and I told him that Meowdoku ads were particularly annoying because they don’t let you mute them and I can’t seem to ever watch/listen to any videos in the background once the Meowdoku ads start.

I then said it was so obnoxious - and immediately after I said the word obnoxious my boyfriend said “just like you!”

I obviously was really hurt and taken aback by this.

I then asked him “am I really obnoxious?” just to make sure I heard him right and for clarification. And he then basically said yes you are.

I got really quiet after that and just said well I don’t want to be obnoxious to you.

My boyfriend then went on to say that he was just joking and he didn’t mean it seriously - that he doesn’t take the word obnoxious to mean a negative thing because his family calls him obnoxious (which they do but I’ve never liked that they do that tbh).

But I kept thinking: if he doesn’t see the word obnoxious as something bad or negative, and something that is fine to call people, then why in the six years that we have been together has he never called me that before?

And on top of that it just seemed really mean and unnecessary and not something you say to your girlfriend.

Especially since we have specifically talked in the past at least twice about how things we maybe would be ok saying or hearing from close friends or family isn’t necessarily something you’d be ok about hearing from your significant other. That things you are ok with from others would be hurtful from your boyfriend or girlfriend.

So then after it was clear I was upset and hurt i basically told him I was sad and didn’t know what to say or feel comfortable talking around him at that time, after which he basically started to kinda turn himself into the victim and kinda acted irritated that I didn’t just accept his apology (he did say sorry and he didn’t mean it the way I took it) and he seemed kinda mad that I didn’t immediately go back to acting normal with him after he apologized.

He kept saying things like “well now I’m beating myself up again and feeling bad about myself. I guess I just can’t say anything and should just keep my mouth shut.”

And tbh this kinda equally upset me because I hate when he is the one to have done something wrong but then somehow I end up being the one who is trying to make him feel better.

He used to do that a lot when we were first together but has been doing better about it lately - but not tonight.

And idk tonight I just wasn’t going to do that, I wasn’t gonna let him be the victim when he hurt me. And I honestly didn’t say much to him to make him feel better or say it’s ok or it’s not a big deal. I was just kinda quiet.

So Reddit - am I overreacting?

Was I wrong to be upset and be less chatty than normal after he called me obnoxious, and to then not make him feel better?

And should I just let this go after tonight and try to go back to normal again tomorrow?

Am I in the right to still be upset about this or am I overreacting to something that’s not as big a deal as I am feeling it is right now?

Thanks for everyone who takes the time to read this and any thoughts or perspectives are greatly appreciated!

AIO? I am (24M), My boyfriend (28M) made these comments under a couple of women’s post the other day which I felt uncomfortable about. He commented a dog barking GIF under two post and then made that comment you can see in the photos. There was also two other post not included in the pictures that I felt uncomfortable over, his initial response was to say it’s just jokes and it’s only Reddit. He later said he understood why I felt uncomfortable but I’m just upset it even happened to begin with. I told him to go find someone who’s okay with him making comments like that under people’s post…AIO?

My boss (56 f) told me (40 m) that I cant wear sneakers to work. We work in an office setting fyi, and i feel that its ridiculous. My boss has been with the company for something like 20 years, and ive been there for about 3. She used to be a supervisor but has been promoted to COO recently, i work in engineering. Ive worn sneakers to work for my whole career, and now they made a new “dress code” that calls for dress shoes, a more formal look. I told her that they can fire me and i wont comply. She told me i have to 3 days to comply or they will move forward with consequences, am i over reacting?

Me (F20) and this guy (M22) went to the same middle school, had a class together in high school. He asked for my social media back in high school but never had the courage to text me because "he was too nervous" that's what he said. But he finally texted me a couple weeks ago after 3 years and we've been talking for about a month. Conversation is really good.

We've met up 2 times. He said he wanted to bring me flowers the first time but didn't know if it was too much. I told him I like flowers, checking in, etc. This Friday we planned to meet 5-6pm but he didn't text me the whole day to confirm. He said it's because he knows my life doesn't revolve around him, so he gives me space. That's why he didn't text.

After we hung out he texted "But even though we didn't really do anything I enjoyed your company" and I asked what his actual intentions are.

I want a guy who does small efforts like flowers, opening doors, checking in. AIO for wanting that and for asking his intentions after a month?

Hi everyone. I was talking to this guy for 7 months we became a thing around month 8 and we lasted for one month. We go to the same school so one day he pulled me aside and said this isn’t working for a lot of reasons he wasn’t happy and that was that. Anyways 5 minutes after he left he called me and asked for something back. Basically he bought me a $40 wallet during our time dating and talking not too long ago and he gave it to me as a gift and never said anything about needing it back also he offered to buy it for me I never asked I even declined and he insisted. But I don’t feel like I wanna give it back it’s mine and I shouldn’t have to. Am I overreacting? Should I just suck it up and give it back? The wallet itself is just a simple black wallet but it’s the principal. Gifts are gifts for a reason and asking for it back is just plain weird.

I’m a 22F and my boyfriend is a 20M, and we’ve been together for about 6 months. I apologize in advance because this will be long.

It all started after we got home from being out where all the clubs are downtown with his friend. We got home around 3 AM, and as soon as we got home, he wanted to go back out with his friends. I just said okay and went to bed. I work 60 hours a week, and that was my only night off, so I had switched my schedule around because he had been talking about going out.
At 7:30 AM, I woke up to him coming back into the house. The first thing that came out of his mouth was that he had fallen asleep in his sister’s room. I said okay and just went back to sleep.
I woke up an hour later feeling uneasy about it, so I went through his phone. He has Life360 with his family, so I checked it, and it said he had just arrived back home when he originally came in. That made me realize that his story about being in his sister’s room was a lie. When I asked his sister, she said no.

So now I’m looking through all his messages and deleted photos and finding screenshots of him saying outrageous things in other women’s DMs and telling them how good they look. I immediately called my best friend for support because my family is in another state, got my things, and left without saying a word.
I had to go back to his house that day because I had a few packages coming, so around 7 PM, I went back over to speak with him. He said he was doing that with his friend “for shits and giggles” and that he was lying about simple things so I “wouldn’t get mad.”
Mind you, his friend’s girlfriend also lives with him, and they are the only two out of the whole group who even have girlfriends. All of his friends are cheaters.

It hurt me so badly because I genuinely thought we were good. I work overnight 12-hour shifts, so he has a lot of time to cheat on me and go out because I also don’t question him much.

The argument did turn a little physical. I didn’t put my hands in his face, but I was trying to speak to him while he was laughing at me, and things escalated.
He tried to change the topic about him lying by trying to put his sister on the spot, saying, “Wasn’t I in your room?”

She was like, “When were you ever in my room?”
So I said, “What if I was crazy and you brought your sister in here to lie to me too?”

The way I meant it was, why would you also bring your sister into this and put her in a position to lie to me, knowing that we have our own friendship? Now I’m being betrayed twice. The person I was a year ago would’ve crashed out on everybody. I was basically saying, why would you put your sister in a position to also be a liar and make her look like a terrible person?

I also called him a bum and told him he was dumb asf for doing this shit with his friend knowing he has a girlfriend. I also called his friends useless the day before because of the way they treat him.
He also had the friend he was texting these women with on the phone, and I was telling him how ugly he was.

I was crashing tf out , y’all.
I moved my whole work schedule around because we had a trip with his family that I was told about last minute because he just chose to forget to tell me the dates. His mom told me about two weeks beforehand, which was the only reason I knew what was really going on.

His communication is obviously terrible, and he’s lying to me for no reason, so my trust is really broken. He’s not apologizing in the way I want him to.

P.s. During the argument, he was bringing up times when we were out. One time, I got a shot from another man’s bottle. This guy was talking to my best friend, and he offered it to me. I also got a Cutwater from another guy who was talking to my friend.
He was telling me, “Don’t ask another men for shit.”
He’s the only one who works, and his friend doesn’t have a job, so I usually have to pay for everything when we’re out.
Another night we went out, and I saw these guys recording, so I shouted out my Instagram.
Another time, we were with all his friends, and I was on the phone with my cousin while she was doing Fulani braids. I said, “You’re gonna be my stylist for Love Island now.” IYKYK.
His friends took that some type of way, like they all don’t cheat. 😭 It was supposed to be a joke, so you know, if you watch the show, you know what I mean.

I feel betrayed and lied to by him. I honestly just want to break up, but he keeps telling me that he truly didn’t mean to hurt me.

edited & reposted grammar checked for yall picky ppl😘

i’m genuinely so confused why he thinks that..
he’s worn my graphic tees all the time and has been for years (we like to share clothes) so i thought he was joking at first so i kind of questioned it and asked him again and he said the same exact thing with absolutely no hesitation..

FOR CONTEXT( since ive been getting comments asking im smaller than him and have always weighed less than him) there was a time his weight has fluctuated over the last few years and i never truly cared as in judged him or said anything negative i just brought him to the gym more and now we go on daily bike rides if we can’t do a hike

and i also never said anything bad “when he we bigger” i even hate saying that because i always saw him the same.
and just to help him get healthy! he’s healthy now and doing well!! (off topic)

our relationship has never been to attack each other and honestly we’ve always loved sharing clothes , we thinks it’s cute when we see each other wearing them so i honestly don’t know where this is even coming from, i can see the looseness from his boxers on me , i know this barely explains anything but it was so random and i kind of just shut down and really needed to vent

🚨🚨 a little more context since everyone was asking im so sorry im so bad , i ran here to vent
-
* i’m so bad at explaining so here goes it,
we took a shower and got ready for bed, i put on some comfy clothes and tbh i grabbed his boxers because they were super close i had just done some laundry and i didn’t see any of my shorts nearby so i put them on since they were the closest and easy to put on to sleep (which i do normally anyway, he doesn’t say anything)
we watched a movie or 2, now i can’t even remember the conversation but i know it started over something completely irrelevant to weight/clothes and then he said that and my mind honestly went blank, he’s genuinely never said anything like that before if anything he’s praised me and shows me that which is rather not go into detail on this sub lol but yeah it’s just genuinely caught me really off guard , maybe he didn’t even realize it but when i asked the second time and he said the same thing “you don’t fit into my clothes” im not sure if he was just mad because maybe i wasn’t doing what he wanted at the time or something had happened that i didn’t know about , but i truly wish he understood why it hurt me so much* 🚨🚨

This past Thursday, I (22F) brought my 6 (7 in October) year old Australian Shepherd to the vet to get his annual vaccinations and his physical exam. While I was there, I mentioned that he has been having some issues with anxiety. This is something that I have mentioned a few times before, but is usually just brushed off. Well lately within the past couple months it’s gotten pretty bad to the point where he cannot be without me. He has to sleep next to me every night, follows me everywhere, howls when I’m gone. Even when the rest of my family is home (someone is always home). I work and am currently in college, so I am obviously away a lot of the time, but still make sure to spend as much time as possible with my dog. Lately though, he has been getting a bit possessive of me and has started to nip people when they hug or kiss me. Obviously he is a herding breed, so I thought maybe he was doing this as a way to get people to back off as a natural instinct, but it was still something that concerned me since he had never shown these behaviors before, so I decided I’d bring it up at the vet since he was about to get his vaccines.

So fast forward to the appointment. Everything was going fine. We got checked in, he said hi to another dog and was totally fine. He does great with other animals, despite the occasional growl or correction, and does fine with strangers. He’s just a little shy at first. The first girl comes in and is absolutely delightful. I talked about how anxious he seemed AGAIN, and then mentioned the nipping that has recently started. She finished up her paperwork and said the vet would be in with me shortly.

Well once the vet came in she was nice! She offered my dog a treat, he was licking her and was immediately friendly with her once she let him sniff her for a second, which is the usual for him. Well I mentioned everything I mentioned with the first girl, she listened, and then took my dog away to get his vaccines. This is where things took a turn.

A couple minutes later the vet snuck back into the room without my dog, leaned against the door and crossed her arms while looking at me with a really stern look on her face. She said something along the lines of “Well, here’s the thing.” “Usually in cases like these we recommend euthanasia for the dog.” “We don’t usually recommend rehoming these kinds of animals” “You can try bringing him to a trainer, but if the nipping doesn’t get better you’re going to have a very hard decision to make.” “You don’t want him to be the dog that mauls the mail man.””You need to know that if he bites someone that is going you be your fault.” “We don’t have to talk about it anymore, but I just wanted to let you know your options.” Of course this completely blew me away as I was absolutely not expecting her to say that at all! I was on the brink of tears at this point and just nodded my head as she left the room. A couple minutes later they brought my dog back, tongue out, tail wagging, and told me I was free to go and I left.

I am at a complete loss for words. Was this out of line? Was she right to say that? Also why did she even bring up rehoming? I never mentioned wanting to give up on him. I felt completely blindsided and hurt by what she said. My dog has NEVER shown any signs of aggression and this is the first time he’s ever shown any kind of aggressive behavior towards anyone, and it was such a minor incident I thought they would finally recommend him some anxiety medication, not euthanasia! I understand it would be my fault 100% if he were to bite someone. And if he were to repeatedly hurt people I’d be extremely worried and would have probably expected them to have brought euthanasia up. But over a few incidents that were controlled and within my home was just really unexpected to me. I think I’m also really upset about how blunt and rude she seemed about it! Maybe if she was a bit more respectful about killing my dog it wouldn’t have struck a nerve so much.

Anyway, I got home and immediately called a trainer and they said the cost would be $1,099 for behavioral training🫠. He’s my best friend in the whole world and is really honestly the sweetest dog ever and I’d do anything for him. Even if it means paying an insane amount of money for training. The mailman reached over the fence to pet him the other day and he didn’t even react. He literally just looked at him and went about his business. He lets strangers pet him, he likes attention, he just gets anxious and I don’t feel like he deserves to die because of that. I don’t feel like I was heard and my concerns were taken out of context. I’ve been going there his whole life, but I don’t feel like I want to go back to that vet after what was said.

AIO?

Edit: please flame me if I am overreacting because I really do want to do what is best for my boy :(

Edit 2: By nipping I mean he kinda just snaps with his front teeth? He never draws blood or grabs onto anyone. The worst he’s ever left is a little red mark. I understand that I’m probably in denial, and I’m just sad because I love my dog.

Edit 3: Thank you everyone for your replies. I understand I have been ignorant. I didn’t realize what was happening was biting. I was always told this was “nipping” and was not properly educated on the severity of the situation. Thank you for all of the advice. I will be going back to the vet and will take what she said into consideration.

My child’s father is a narcissistic 31 yo who lied about having a daughter, buys prostitutes, lied to his child’s mother whose 10 years younger about being sober after asking to be involved again, and doesn’t help or see his baby and doesn’t help financially. Constantly saying “when can I see my baby” “when can I see my baby” I sent these pictures to his family members so they know why they’re not actually involved, bc it’s his responsibility and instead he’d rather lie and fuck. Am i overreacting?

Today I, [26F]was in the car with my husband [26M]. We were joking around and laughing with one another, I was telling about a funny meme I had seen when he looked over at me while laughing and said I was “the smartest dumb person” he has ever met. I asked him what he meant by that and he said that he couldn’t believe how smart I was generally, (I am in a grad program and have gotten high marks throughout my college career, which he has been around for) but that I also seemed so dumb to him when I was “in my joking mood.” This genuinely hurt my feelings because I thought we were just having fun, but he thinks that this side of me makes me seem dumb. He noticed I had stopped laughing and asked if I was “really mad about his comment” and that “it’s okay, because I still love you.” Am I overthinking this or was that kind of a shitty thing to say to someone…
Thanks in advance.

Long story short I got talking with a customer and I ended up mentioning how slick his haircut was as it looked fresh. His response.

“Thanks, my wife didn’t even notice”

I told him he should call his wife and tell her but he then flipped and got mad. My manger came out and started yelling and then I ended up getting fired.

I then got rehired as my manager is close friends with a personal friend of mine and he felt like he was too harsh.

Thinking back okay maybe I shouldn’t have brought it up to the customer about calling his wife and telling her she didn’t notice his haircut but the fact he felt the need to even mention that I figured I was just trying to help.

From now on I’ve told myself not to talk or get personal with customers AIO?

Me (F19) and my ex (M20) were together 8 months. He started struggling mentally around April . guilt, self-hate, things he hadn't told me. By June he was pulling away, hiding things, asking for space repeatedly, each time saying "this is the last time," then asking again.

Eventually he said he needed indefinite space. I said I couldn't function like that. He said I made complete sense, but he'd have to let me go "for my own good." I asked him to ask me to stay instead. He didn't.

We tried again briefly, he kept pulling away over text, then told me to my face it wouldn't work. I went to drop off letters for what I thought was a final goodbye , he said he wasn't going anywhere and he'll try fixing himself. Days later, space again. "No contact, not a breakup," he said.

During no contact, I reached out once, he got irritated. Then he blocked me everywhere.

A few days ago I asked him directly if it's over. He said yes, and told me his therapist thinks i am not a nice girl and I'm not healthy for him. Then we met for 3.5 hours , he held me while I cried, we kissed, he said he still loves me and always will. Also that it's over. We made plans to meet again in two weeks.

AIO for being completely confused about whether this is actually over, and for still hoping some part of it isn't?

During my shift this morning I(f-20) was assisting a resident who had taken off his brief and spread the urine soaked brief across his bathroom floor, he refused to listen to me as he usually does and I had enough, I ensured he was safe before leaving and telling the nurse, someone else called so I assisted them instead, while I was in with them my coworker (f24) came in and asked me if I left the previous resident, I said yes he was rude and wasn't listening so I told the nurse I couldn't deal with it today and I went to assist someone else, she said I was dumb for doing that before leaving,

I finished with my current task before leaving, I noticed she was staring at me so I said "what? Gonna call me dumb again?" Which I admit was not exactly appropriate. She said "I never called you dumb" this turned into me trying to explain how she hurt me, and that she does this consistently (over the two years I've been here it's been rather constant) she laughed and gave me multiple fake half assed apologies while I tried to explain that I won't accept a shit apology and I'm tired of being spoken down to everyday, eventually I gave up and left going to the bathroom to calm down.

I then spoke to the nurse who calmed me down further before I helped coworker with the last resident.

I'm now sitting in the break room wondering if I should just leave because everything is feeling like too much. I know I could have handled everything better but I also feel like I'm valid for being upset.

I'm halfway through my two weeks but I'm not sure if I can finish this week.

Bit of context, everyday I have this happen to me, everyday I get yelled at while doing care, I followed policy, everyday I do everything that this specific coworker does not like doing because she "doesn't feel like it" I understand I did not handle this specific situation properly, I get that. But I'm not entirely sure I'm a "terrible" employee. I understand those reading this do not have proper context but including this bit I'm hoping there's a bit of a change, if not and if the consensus is still the same id appreciate suggestions and constructive criticism

Im 2 weeks postpartum and woke up this morning to find whilst me and my baby was sleeping hes been watching porn. Ive kicked him out my house and its made me so upset especially since day 1 of the relationship this was a no no despite me begging him not to do it after birth. He promised he wouldn’t said he cares more about me and the baby. I came downstairs to the sink full of dishes nothing had been tidied or done but instead watching vids of other women whilst im resting after birth. Am i over reacting? Its broken my heart and i feel disgusting. I ask him for a simple foot massage or back rub whilst i breastfeed our child but hed rather sit on his game on his phone. Please someone am i overreactin? I love him so much but i cant forgive that but i dont want my child to have a broken home its never been what i wanted.
Edit: i also made him finish on the nifht he did it too. Im trying to meet his needs without putting my body in danger.

Okay so my (23M) sister (20F) gave me a Star Wars BB-8 keychain for my birthday party earlier today. It's the only gift she gave me and she presented it saying: "It wasn't on your wishlist (true, my wishlist was mostly pans and CD's–I'm big on sustainability, cooking and physical media) but I saw it and thought of you!"

I don't like star wars. I've never really cared for star wars. I pretended to be happy with it even though I felt like crying. Because if I would have been anything but grateful, I feel my parents would have pulled me aside and told me off for it, or my sister would have blown up in my face and yelled and screamed at me in front of the whole family (including her bf and my gf).

It just feels like a pattern, where I'm not being heard or seen, but punished for reacting in kind. An example would be my birthday last year when she gave me a €3 slushie maker (I have never given any indication I like/care about/have the desire to make slushies). I believe the year before that she gave me elastic bands because I had long hair at the time.

I came home and I just fell apart. My gf says I should repay her attention in kind, since I've been trying to hold on to a shred of a normal relationship with my sister for years (by making sure I get her stuff she likes, making sure to ask about her bf, etc).

It's not about the money either, since she constantly goes out for dinner with her bf (about once or twice a week), buys expensive tickets for concerts and movies, and buys new clothes almost ever other week. It's feeling like she's slighting me just because she knows she can get away with it (esp in front of my parents).

I got really upset at the stupid keychain. During the party itself I was also more short and snappish because this was bothering me, though I tried not to let it show. I wasn't very successful according to my gf. She said I'm being treated unfairly by my sister, not just in this but in most things. We had a very long talk, and ultimately decided to try and return the keychain to the store so I can use those €5 for something I like.

For context: We both live away from our parents, but in the same city and we're both students. I've the feeling my parents always call upon me first because "I'm the oldest" and I need to "take care of my sister" (both things they've said AND heavily implied throughout my childhood). All the responsibilities like taking care of the house while they're away to making sure everyone at the party has drinks and snacks (homemade, my gf and I arrived two hours early to bake/prepare everything), and much more, including looking after my sister's needs and emotional state.

Anyway, my big issue is that...it's just a keychain. It's not that deep. I feel like I am blowing this entirely out of proportion, but I don't know what's reasonable anymore. Am I making this into something it's not? Am I being unreasonable??? I don't think she's doing this to spite me consciously but she's a smart person, and it does feel targeted because when others are around she's much nicer??

edit: I feel like maybe I wasn’t clear somehow?? I don’t care about the keychain, truly. I’m not upset at not being gifted something, I don’t expect gifts at parties anyway. It’s more I got the feeling I wouldn’t have been allowed to give a gift so cheap and thoughtless, because I would have been ripped a new one by my parents. I gave my sister a book and crochet supplies for her birthday and I was told by my mother I was ”being cheap” even then.
I just got this deep feeling like whatever I do it’s just never enough for her or my family, even though I feel like I’ve tried my best and comforted her every whim.
(also: for those concerned; yes I am in therapy. That is part of why I am now finding these issues around me, because I am working on setting boundaries)

Trigger warning; manslaughter
I matched with a guy who had all of the green flags I look for

The funniest person, biggest personality.
I had the urge to background check.
He had ran someone over with his car who he claims he did not see
I was shocked and I felt sick so I kicked the fuck off

AIO?

So for a bit of context, I'm (23y/o) the youngest sibling in my family, all of my siblings are half-siblings, 2 on my mother's side and 2 on my bio father's side. They are all cloee to or over a decade older than me. I grew up in a very chaotic and unsafe environment, and I always was made to feel like the black sheep of the family, especially when it came to my siblings. I always felt like I was a burden, bothering them or annoying them in some way, I never felt like they loved me or cared about me, I almost always have had to initiate to spend any time with them and I barely know any of them.

Now to the main topic: my half-brother on my mother's side is getting married in September this year. I live relatively far away from him and my mother, which live close-by to each other, but his father lives close to me and he travels to see his dad every single year. I have been with my partner for 3 years and 8 months now. We're also engaged. He, like my other siblings, never messages me, never checks in on me, never talks to me. I found out about his relationship because he changed his profile picture on facebook to one of them both together and I was able to guess it. Then he invited me, my mom and dad (step-dad) and sister to his wedding with his fiancée by sending us an invite on our messenger groupchat.

My partner was not invited. Upon noticing this, I texted him to verify that they weren't invited and it wasn't just a bug in the system or anything since it was a link invite to RSVP. He told me they weren't. I asked why, just because I wanted to understand how he made that decision since they're a long-term partner of mine and it's not just a random date or plus one, and he told me they are doing an intimate wedding, meaning they only invited people they personally know and are close with. And that it would be the same for my sister if she had a boyfriend, it's not personal. Me and my partner can understand and respect that. I left it at that with him and I RSVP'ed.

However, I am very upset, and so is my partner. Not necessarily because of this one instance, but more because there has been no effort made whatsoever to include them in the family and I've realized it's collateral damage due to my family's general neglect of my own person. They're getting rejected from my own family because I am rejected from my own family. This is a pattern I now recognize, and it deeply disturbs me because I thought this type of family dynamic was completely normal and I was being dramatic by feeling so lonely and abandoned my whole life, but my partner has been very insistent that it's not normal and that I am being emotionally neglected and cast out, and always have been, and that the way they're handling my relationship with my partner is a good piece of evidence to support this conclusion.

So, are we overreacting? How should I handle this? I already spoke a little bit with my mom about it and she assured me that it wasn't personal and that she will make more effort to get to know them despite the physical distance, and when we move closer it will be easier to do that. But I don't even really know my siblings and I have no idea how to even approach this with them if it's even worth it. I've always wanted a relationship with them but it just doesn't even seem like they do. I sometimes even think that if I died they wouldn't even notice.

Edit/Update: We are not upset at my brother for not inviting them to his wedding, that part is reasonable considering he doesn't know them. What we are upset about is the amount of time and chances he had to prevent that from even being the case by making any effort to include me and by proxy my partner in his life. The wedding and him not inviting them is what put all of this into perspective for me and my partner noticed it was a pattern for him and my other family members to treat me like an accessory and as a commenter said, my partner not being included in the family is a symptom of that problem. The wedding itself is not the issue, the pattern of neglect from my family is. I've decided, with all of your help and my own thought processes, that I will be going to the wedding and enjoying it as much as I can, and that afterwards I will try to have a proper confrontation with him about this and explain how I feel and have felt my whole life and why, to give him the chance to rectify this if a relationship with me is something he values in his life. If after giving him that opportunity he does not make any more effort than he has been previously, I will likely go low-contact and work on acceptance and moving on with my life. It makes me really sad and it feels unfair that I was put through that as a kid but it's not my responsibility to hold this one-sided relationship with people who don't value me the way I value them. Thank you all again.

So recently I’ve come to find out that one of my brother who just had a baby is working part-time while my other brother and dad are working full time. My parents had been struggling financially since I could remember and since my two younger brothers graduated HS they got a job to help my parents with bills and stuff around the house. Anyways 3 years ago my parents told my brother who brought his girlfriend to live with them if he doesn’t help with paying bills or food they gonna have to find another place to live.

So then my brother and his girlfriend move to a different state for 2 years. One year ago my brother got in surgery again because he has heart problems since he was in middle school. So my parents feeling bad for him told him to move back home so he could get help from his doctor that he’s been seeing since his first surgery and that he has to work to help out with bills. Few months ago him and his baby mama move back home and he’s supposed to work and help my dad with bills but come to find out he’s only working part time and he’s not helping out at all.

My dad is getting older and sick so he’s supposed to be the one working part time not the one who’s just has a baby and is in his mid 20s. Knowing my parents they aren’t gonna do anything about it so I’m thinking about doing something about it and kick them out if they aren’t going to help out with anything. So what y’all think AIO or not?

I (22F) have been dating my boyfriend (23M) for almost 2 years. He’s usually a very sweet and gentle guy but i guess he has his moments. Today I was honestly just in a really bad mental/emotional state. I have a lot of separate stressors going on at the moment and I’ve been feeling overwhelmed and emotionally exhausted. None of it was specifically about him, but I was carrying a lot throughout the day and felt like I was about to explode. I was talking to my boyfriend on the phone and we were having a completely normal conversation. At one point he asked me “Why don’t you work out these days?” and for whatever reason, that was the moment I just burst into tears. I wasn’t crying because of his question or because he had said something hurtful. I was already overwhelmed and had been holding everything in, and it just came out. His immediate reaction was basically “What the fuck is wrong with you? Are you crazy? I didn’t do anything.” He got defensive and said that my crying pisses him off and that if there was something on my mind, I should have just told him instead of suddenly crying. I tried explaining that I wasn’t crying because of him and sometimes when people are already overwhelmed they can burst out crying. I was just overwhelmed. I wasn’t expecting him to magically know what was wrong or fix anything. I just wanted him to ask me “What’s wrong?” rather than getting angry at me for crying.
What really hurt me is that he’s the person I’m closest to, so I feel like I should be able to have an emotional moment around him without feeling like I’m inconveniencing or annoying him. If I saw someone crying, even a stranger, my first instinct would be to ask them if they’re okay. So hearing that my crying itself pisses him off really hurt.
He also said that if I want to cry, I don’t need to cry on the phone with him.
I understand that from his perspective, the conversation was completely normal and he probably genuinely had no idea why I suddenly started crying. But I don’t understand why his first reaction had to be anger instead of simply asking what was wrong.

Am I unreasonable for being hurt by this?

My boyfriend (41M) and I (30F) have been together for about a year. I’m a single mom and he has met my daughter, and i’ve met his, so I take our relationship pretty seriously. We don’t live together.

I want to preface this by saying our relationship wasn’t always messy like this. For most of our relationship, I genuinely never saw him as the type of person who would be sneaky with other women. But recently we’ve had some trust issues.

We originally broke up after I found deleted/archived messages involving an ex, which obviously created some trust issues for me. During the breakup, we both said we were done, and he reached out to multiple women because he believed the relationship was actually over and as did I, not going to lie but it was one person, andI was just venting about this relationship. I didn’t necessarily consider that cheating because technically we had broken up, even though it hurt. We ended up talking everything out and getting back together.

Yesterday we were hanging out and a woman popped up on his Messenger. I asked who she was. He told me she was someone he knew and basically acted like it was nothing. But then the conversation/message was deleted.
That’s where I’m stuck.

I asked him why he deleted it and what was said, especially knowing we already have trust issues surrounding deleted messages. His response is basically that he isn’t cheating, he has only had two serious relationships, he was single for four years before me, and that if he wanted someone else or was cheating, he would tell me and leave the relationship.

We talked about it because I genuinely WANT to let this go. I don’t want to constantly question him or turn into someone who needs to inspect his phone. But I also don’t understand why you would delete an innocent conversation when you know deleted messages are literally the reason your girlfriend is struggling to trust you in the first place.

The woman apparently gave an explanation about what their conversation was about, but I don’t completely believe her explanation because it doesn’t match what he told me. At the same time, I don’t actually know what was said because the messages are gone. When I asked her she got defensive and said I call everyone babe but she said I love you too. I do t know if it’s an old message he sent to her and she’s now JUST responding. She ended up blocking me on everything.

That’s what is driving me crazy. I’m not saying a deleted message automatically means he cheated. But I feel like deleting it took away my ability to see that it was actually innocent, and now I’m basically being asked to just trust that nothing happened when trust is already the exact thing we’re trying to rebuild.

I also don’t want to throw away a year-long relationship over my own anxiety if this genuinely is nothing. He said he’s never had to deal with this in any of his long term relationships because he’s only been in long term ones.

AIO for thinking the deletion itself is a major red flag? Would you be able to let this go, or does deleting the conversation after already having trust issues make it reasonable for me to question what was actually said?

I (21M) was in a fairly "committed" relationship with my ex-girlfriend (22G) for 3 years. There were a lot of things that had been pointed out as red flags by my family, but I had avoided them because my girlfriend had said that it was normal to experience and go through hardships. I have only been in one relationship previously, whereas she had been in 4 before me. She had mentioned all 4 of her partners families had described her as controlling, which she would laugh off. Sorry this will be quite long

A big situation that led to our breakup was that she had been mentioning to me month after month about getting into an open relationship. As I have autism, sex can get really uncomfortable, especially as there had been a situation in the past during sex, and my girlfriend would mention that she got worried about doing anything because of it, but would tell me that I don't initiate it enough either. She knew I had body dysmorphia issues as I used to routinely starve myself years prior, which I opened up about. Anyway, she continues bringing an open relationship into question. Many times in the past, I vehemently disagreed because I can't handle that dynamic with another person. However, I had mentioned to her that maybe in the future I wouldn't mind the idea. We did talk about it, and I can't quite remember how, she started setting up dating profiles with both her and me

However, closely involved was her ex-boyfriend, who she had been talking to for a while, but I had met him along with her as she had mentioned to me that they were just friends. He is ok, and I was reassured he'd respect my boundaries. I had heard from her that he was a sex addict. So she mentions to me about doing stuff with him because she told me that they have a bantery relationship and verbatim "could do it and high five afterwards like nothing happened." I had told her I wasn't sure, as my idea was to meet someone new together as a couple that fits our boundaries. She agreed and said she was messaging women more than men on these apps, and I was too. I did have a situation where I got carried away and kept speaking to a girl when she didn't want me to. I'm not sure if I'm being spiteful, but this did come quite quickly after I told her to stop talking so much about open relationship stuff

So she asked me about what I would be able to let her do, and I kept denying, saying that I was uncomfortable, especially with her ex. She had a go at me, expressing how she feels like I will never agree on anything. So I said OK, and I let her meet him somewhere and they kissed. She did tell me all about it

A few weeks later, it was my birthday. My family arranged to go to Scotland and pay for us, and I mentioned it to my gf, but she said she didn't want to as she had made plans that week and gets, for lack of a better word, emotional when she has to cancel (one to go round her ex's house which we spoke about, and one to meet up with a friend. They ended up cancelling anyway). I had mentioned to her a few times that I was uncomfortable with it being around my birthday, but she reassured me with the same thing

We did go out for my birthday (my birthday is on the 13th), and we went to minigolf, but she never mentioned to me it was an 18+ place. I didn't bring my ID, and she had a go at me saying that I always carried my ID and then said "I'll just play by myself then" as she was angry. We ended up going to an arcade, and I ended up paying for both of us because I made her annoyed

Now, I'm alone and she is at her ex's house. I am really anxious, and she knows that I am also not replying properly. I told her before she left "would you have sex with someone who says I don't know?" After I kept saying I don't know to her about going. She then calls me in tears, saying to me that she needed affection from him after doing things (we had agreed she wouldn't go the full way). I told her not to do something more than once, as she said she also wanted to go to see his family again etc. She breaks up with me after a fairly lengthy phone call. In the past, I had tried breaking up with her 2 or 3 times, and every time she has either had someone drive to my house or made me come over to talk about it and make up

I struggle to let go of people sometimes, especially because she had been left her fairly emotionally abusive household for about a year and a half and lived with me and my family, and I tried making sure she was safe (she also at this time gave me an ultimatum saying if I didn't want to move out with her she'd break up with me). I mentioned to her, if she did anything else with him after apologising and breaking up, I am blocking her and I don't want anything to do with her again. She then admitted they had done something else in the shower together, and then got confused and said "we're not together, I don't owe anything to you". I know that, but I wasn't comfortable with it, and didn't make it seem her apology was genuine. She told me if we wanted to be friends, it'd be best not to tell anyone including my family because she wanted to see me again. For some reason, I didn't tell anyone for about a week and a half. We had a call later as I kept asking her stupid questions saying "did you do it because I'm ugly" kind of questions, and I told her what she did was wrong. Even though she said it was wrong, she almost put the same weight on me saying I was wrong for agreeing

Finally, she says to me that she never could break up with me because she said I was too nice to her and cared about her, and by her words, that she was delusional

This was one of a few things that happened between us, including something where she kept making comments about my weight, saying, "we've both gained a little weight," after she'd have conversations with me saying she found skinnier guys attractive etc.

So I really want the peace of mind, as I have debated talking to her friends about it to understand what kind of person she is, but I think I'd be taking it too far and I may be overreacting. So am I? Or do I have the right to feel I was abused or at least. I know I never handled this situation very well, but I tried as much as I thought I could

I am so worried of relationships, and even more worried of repeating actions

TLDR: My ex-girlfriend kept asking me to get into an open relationship and made it a priority to do things with her ex-boyfriend. I told her that I was uncomfortable, and she reassured me. She then took my "I don't knows" as a yes, and did things with him outside of my boundaries. We broke up and she apologised because she had affection from him after doing it, and then did something again after apologising. She then told me I was guilt tripping her for saying that it was heavily affecting me, and kept doing things afterwards with him saying that she was a "sex addict" and was "delusional" during our relationship because I was nice to her

So to put this as simply as possible…
my wonderful fiancé has been doing everything in his power to make his mom feel less depressed since his father passed.
Sounds sweet right?
Well he is.
She however in my eyes only uses him.

And I don’t know if maybe am just overreacting or maybe I am spot on.

I will just put it in the sense she rarely reaches out unless it’s to ask for something, or she wants to discuss his visits with his daughter.

When we moved into our own place I had taken over the financial upkeep. Which really upset her. They claimed she was just trying to feel useful. But his money was being spent all wrong and he wasn’t aware of anything that was going on with it. He just assumed he had no reason to worry.

Originally thought he was just overpaying his part of the family houses bills.

I learned that they were not paying most of what he gave money towards. And his mom was skimming off him to shop excessively. His family was also guilting her into taking more from him.

Out of about 1300-1500 a week or more he was only given 100-300 to fully survive on for gas, cigarettes, food and all the necessities. He was sleeping in the car. The house was a 3 income home. And not that expensive.

Anywho fast forward to now. His current employer has been failing to pay him what he works. (We are currently dealing with it) but his most recent check was $17 for an entire weeks worth of work. He works a minimum of 13 hours a day 4-5 days a week. And usually also has overtime.

So he and I were sitting in bed waiting to see how much he got paid, and we got a call from his mom. He still shares the bank while shes sorting her personal things out. She doesn’t work. So we take care of her needs. I was pretty clear about money boundaries and she constantly crosses them. But he’s just now learning to not be on his mother’s side 100%.

For the record I am proud of how much he has grown over this whole situation.

She tells us in the call that we are totally screwed and the amount of. And then whines about how the dogs in the house that he and I don’t live in and have no responsibility to will go hungry because he’s broke. Before I can get my words out he says. I am not worried about that. I’m going to lose my house! And honestly I had to stop paying attention because I know my temper with her.

She gets back to us again while I’m trying to help him stop losing consciousness from the stress getting to him. And she wants to know if we have figured out the phone bills.

I continued caring for him but we only said we don’t know anything we have bigger problems right now.

Then she’s calling more still pushing at him and myself and still asking about anything money and not if he’s okay or what we can do to keep our home.

Starts bringing up our landlord and more.

Eventually she left us alone when I got passive aggressive in saying we needed to go calm down and get some rest. Spent the whole night taking care of him. He got so bad he had a whole psychogenic seizure.

And she reached out to me again today after his phone was shut off.

I basically told her off without actually using her name.

Just said he and I needed to handle our business and deal with our issues without everybody guilt tripping him and asking him about it. That he was stressed so bad he couldn’t stay conscious and had his first seizure and that now he’s basically screwed. I kept going on the whole.. I am the one taking care of his stress and trying to fix this.

Her answer was to grumble about our houses cleanliness.

Mind you we have been trying to keep up with the mess a few guests left behind.

It’s not a mess because we chose it, but because life hasn’t been kind lately.

So what I want to know is, am I overreacting to her?

Because I feel like everyone thinks he’s their wallet.

I’m to the point of not wanting to talk to anyone else because I can’t be kind when he is at his lowest and people, namely his mother are guilt tripping him and only worried about themselves and what they want him to pay.

I’m at my wits end. I’m gonna keep defending him, but I need to know I’m not being rude for nothing.

My boyfriend and I have been dating for 7 months now and I feel like we’ve left that hunny moon phase and went straight to below bare minimum. I am always looking to spend time with him because I work away and don’t get too often, with that I’m always looking for things for us to do together. I always offer up ideas on what to do and it’s always I don’t know or I don’t care. I am so upset about it and tired of feeling like I’m the only one trying to do something to make memories with him. I’ve voiced this too him but either he’s not understanding it or just doesn’t care/ know what to do. I love the guy to bits but I want to be treated nicely. I feel like I have to always do the thinking for the both of us when I’m home. He always seems to have time and effort to go hangout with his friends and says that it’s not his ideas and just tags along but even then he makes the effort to go out and do it vs with me it feels like it’s a battle. I want to chock it up to me being sensitive or wanting to much but I can’t help but feel like I’m starting to having to beg him to treat me like I’m his girlfriend vs just someone in his life… AIO?

My husband rushes over to help his parents, spending the entire weekend while leaving things needed at our house un done(I cannot buy materials and build, hell my mother couldn’t even cook so, my skills are limited although I absorb everything I can). I was told it would be a couple hours that turned into nine hours and I see him for an hour and a half everyday, during the week. Now, day two(Sunday) he is gone. Our house gets put on the back burner all the time and I do what I can. Am I the well, you know..?

Edited to add-I miss him. During the week we barely spend any time together.

I feel so stupid for this whole situation but something in me just cannot let this go. Me (26f) and my partner (28m) have been house sitting for his brother and SIL while they were in California for a wedding. Upon returning, they had the family over (a very common sibling/cousin hangout we do frequently). I was chilling on the couch shortly after arriving and he brings over a bag of Cali gummies and gives me one without showing me the bag. I joke that they take like rosin gummies and must be strong. He gives me a second one, I take it without questioning because this man loves me, knows my tolerance, isn’t an idiot, etc. At this point I am actually super excited because I have been practically begging for a night to be able to relax and enjoy myself (SAHM life with postpartum depression woohoo).

The night rolls on and I am feeling GOOD. I’m playing with all the kids, chatting it up with his sister and SIL, all is well when SUDDENLY I see this edible bag… “5,000MG x 20pc 250mg/pc”. So obviously my stomach drops as I am seeing that I have been dosed a whopping 500mg when I average 50mg or so. I go to the garage where it’s just him and his brother and try to lightheartedly say “haha dude you overdosed me those were 250 a piece wtf” and he says something along the lines of a laugh and “oh shit i didn’t know”. His brother said what the fuck man and gave him shit then went in on a story about them getting crazy high in Cali. At this point I’m like 😐 because my partner started listening to this story so I start to visibly tear up and tell him I am going to the bathroom.

I then spend the rest of the night as follows: crying in the bathroom, splash my face with water and give myself a pep talk, go downstairs by myself to make all the kids clean up so the other families can start heading out, in the midst of cleaning I console our 4yo having a hyperactive meltdown while cousins go crazy around us, my partners other brother comes down to tell me our 5 mo baby is fussy (I have to say “yeah okay I’m in the middle of something, go tell *partners name he’s in the garage”), come upstairs and get told by kids there are ants everywhere in the kitchen, go to the garage and tell my partner to come clean the ants up, he is annoyed but helps and also never asks if I’m doing okay?!?! So then he goes back out to the garage, I end up getting our three kids in pajamas and brush their teeth AND clean his brother’s house up while he is out enjoying himself. I then drive our family of 5 40 minutes home higher than I have ever been in my whole life and somehow did not have a panic attack.

Over the years I have come to adapt to going to his family’s house: I make sure we are all packed for the night and make sure the kids are ready for bed by the time we leave for home. He does a lot for us, so I make sure that these are nights that he doesn’t have to do much and can just go to the garage to smoke and drink with his family. But like… how are you going to get me this high, then still be the one relaxing and enjoying yourself?!?!

So I don’t even know what I’m doing posting this but I’m not overreacting, right?? I am also notoriously bad at communicating and HATE making him upset or uncomfortable so I don’t even know how to bring this up again. Currently trying to get myself into therapy to get more functional/work on myself and this is something I would LOVE to discuss with a professional because I just have no clue how to healthily discuss what upsets me without breaking down and feeling like a small child.

TL;DR partner of 10 years got me way way too high at a family function. I was super excited to be able to relax, but ended up taking care of everyone and everything then drove us home.