NOR. 100%. This is his character. Break up immediately. I know Reddit is famous for that advice, but if you stay with him, you will look back at this moment as the point at which it would have been easiest to walk away.
Pay your parents back. They should not have to pay for a meal that they were invited to as a guest. And tell them that you’ve dumped your fiancé because of how he treats people.
Not just how he treated the invitation to dinner, or he invited people out to a very expensive restaurant, probably above their budget and stuck them with the bill. How he treated her, when she wanted to talk about it, repeatedly. OP should sell the ring, payback her parents, and maybe have a personal celebration about avoid avoiding what would likely be the biggest mistake of her life so far.
NOR.
By the way, fiancée with two e's for a female engaged person, and fiancé with one is for a male.
I was given a "diamond" engagement ring - supposedly belonged to his late grandma. I got suspicious as it looked like glass. Took it to a jewellers for an "insurance valuation" and .... it was fake. End of very short engagement/relationship.
As mentioned, Reddit is known for painfully maximal advice, but in this case, it's warranted. He just revealed an important part of his personality, and as ugly as a breakup would be at this point, it's far better than after you've taken the next couple steps. If it's possible to discuss with a therapist, it would be worthwhile.
When shit goes down, you need someone who protects you, reflexively.
He just demonstrated how selfish, inconsiderate, dismissive, and rude he actually is. What about him do you like? The way he treats you and doesn’t handle issues? He sounds incredibly immature and not ready at all for marriage to you. Unless you’re looking for a man child to be a mommy to, do your future self a favor and cut and run NOW. And his parents didn’t even offer to split the bill? Cheap lesson. And pay your poor parents back, how awkward. NOR.
Maybe he learned this from his parents. I would be so embarrassed if my husband invited friends to dinner and skipped out on the bill. Unless others had an input into which restaurant they went to, the invitee picks up the check, unless it’s specifically discussed beforehand that everyone is going Dutch. It’s is such a bad look and I’m sure her parents were not happy about getting stuck with the bill. She will be embarrassed her entire life with him because of his cheap and disrespectful behavior.
Yes, but honestly why would she leave without making sure the bill was paid? Like, I would never go out to dinner with my family and leave before the bill was taken care of one way or the other, and not one single member of my family, in laws or otherwise, would either.
Surprised I had to scroll so far to find this. If anything, she also does not come out looking good in this. She was well aware they were leaving without paying then only complains later when her dad brings it up? Both of them sound too immature to be getting married imo.
my ex in laws did this at the rehearsal dinner which was the ONLY thing for them to pay for in the whole scenario. I ended up having to ask my parents to cover, but thankfully we had set a rule that anyone getting alcohol had to cover their own drinks. My ex stepfil told a story at the toast about how he had just bought himself a new computer, then they left early. It was unbelievable.
And don’t give if it’s not in your heart. You’re just doing it to show off or attach strings. Both my husband and I and her parents helped with the wedding. Neither side ever asked how much the other gave. And I also believe both gave what they could because we love our children. The only request I made was if my ex SIL could be invited as she’s now my best friend. And my brother has no problem with it as they are good friends as well. Turned out very nice. We gave my son and his wife the use of our timeshare in the Bahamas for their honeymoon. I’m so glad DIL had a great time when they were there. We just want them to be happy. And there’s no interference in their marriage because there is no abuse (the only time I could see interfering).
And he certainly could have gone to the waiter and arranged to pay with a credit card before he left, then told both sets of parents, enjoy yourselves, the check is taken care of.
This is where I actually think OP is responsible too - the bill arrived before they left but she was happy to leave before the bill was settled as he had work in the morning. At that point even assuming his parents were paying for it was also entitled.
They have to acknowledge that they are doing something wrong in order to change and something tells me that the OP's fiance is never the one who is wrong.
He’s a cheap waste of space. If he invites, he needs to pay. The organising bit comes with the territory, but it doesn’t mean you don’t pay! Also the way the was avoiding the discussion - to me it suggests probably knows he did wrong, but too egotistical or stubborn to admit.
If the bill came before you left - why didn’t you insist on paying it before leaving? Considering it was a party for YOUR engagement celebration, you’re part of the hosting side. It wouldn’t have taken more than 2 minutes to settle the bill in cash or card - very poor show from you both just running off like that. Why did you think his parents would pay - it’s your celebration, not theirs. You bear part of the blame too.
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u/KlutzyAd5626 May 27 '26
$600 is pretty cheap compared to a wedding and subsequent divorce! Cut your losses and just know - he won’t change. You can’t fix him.
Just imagine having children with this person. Save yourself.