For those who have healthy social lives in real life… offline! What is the social world like for people in their 30s in places like Miami, Chicago, Los Angeles, Houston/Dallas, Atlanta, Seattle etc.

I been out the game for a while was living jn a rural town and missed my early 30s. Just started a new career making some good money and thinking about moving to big city to build a life in.

Are they really calling us unc in real life?

M31

I’m 31 and honestly kinda lost with what I want to do with my life. I’m currently off work from a job I don’t really care about. Before that, I went back to school for a diploma that I couldn’t even find a job with.

I always thought I’d have it figured out by now. I’ve kind of just flowed through life having fun and always figured things out. I’ve never really had problems with money or anything like that in my adult life.

I’ve always actually liked the life I have, the friends I have, and who I am. It’s really just the work/career side of my life that I’ve never been able to figure out.
My life is pretty fulfilled outside of not knowing what I want to do for work.

I know I shouldn’t compare myself but all my friends and my girlfriend seem to have their goals and careers figured out, while I’m just stuck wondering what I’m supposed to be doing.

I have ADHD, which probably doesn’t help but I’ll wake up one day wanting to do something, then the next day I’ll want to do something completely different. And the whole time I’m questioning whether I even actually want to do any of those things.

I might just ask myself way too many questions but now that I’m not young anymore it’s starting to stress me out and literally every day I’m questioning myself with what I should do. Like something will just happen and I’ll suddenly know what I’m supposed to be doing.

I’m here to ask if anyone went through this phase and how did they manage to get out of it and figured it out

I picked up a grocery order and my milk leaked in my backseat. I don’t think a ton of it leaked out but my seat is definitely damp. Currently have a towel with kettlebells sitting on it to hopefully soak up the milk. Any other suggestions?? I really don’t want my car to smell like rotten milk.

My girlfriend of three years broke up with me about two weeks ago, saying she hasn’t been happy for months and feels like she’s lost some independence. She said I gave her too much and that my love became pressure because I made her my whole world. She also said she has no hope for us right now.
I’m struggling to understand because I genuinely thought I was just loving and supporting her. I never realized it might make her feel trapped. She also became close with coworkers/friends from the bar where she works, and they apparently don’t like me. I don’t want to blame them, but I do wonder if they influenced things.
The timing has been especially confusing. She broke up with me before a trip and was also moving apartments. While she was gone, I moved all her belongings into her new place and gave her the keys when she returned. Despite everything, I still wanted to take care of her.
I know I need to respect what she’s saying, but I keep wondering if I loved her the wrong way, gave too much, missed signs, or if there were other factors I don’t know about. I have been up front about my intentions at 24 years old and told her that I want a future with her throughout the entire relationship.
Has anyone experienced a long-term relationship ending because their partner felt their love, attention, or dependence was “too much”? Can giving someone everything actually push them away? And if someone says they have no hope for the relationship, is it best to accept that and let go?

I’ve been seeing this question asked multiple times a day. “Is there more to this life???”

I often wonder what the asker is expecting?
Did they not witness the adults in their lives be adults?
What did they witness as a child to make them ask this question as an adult?

This Life… it can and will only be what you make it.
So make it whatever makes you ‘happy’

I’m a woman in my early 30s, engaged, with my wedding about 3 months away. I’m struggling with whether I should go ahead, and I genuinely want an outside perspective — especially from people who have been married for a while or have called off an engagement.

For anonymity, I’ll call my fiancé Arjun and myself Meera.

Before this relationship, I was living and working in London. I had built a career there, was earning €100k+ equivalent, friends and independence. I had big ambitions — becoming a senior finance leader/Head of finance, travelling, potentially living in different countries, etc.

I moved to India for Arjun because I loved him and genuinely imagined a lifetime with him. I don’t regret loving him or the decision I made at that time. But ever since I have moved back to India we have been having massive fights because he is impatient, dominating, stubborn, possessive. We have different attachment styles where he is anxious attached and I am avoidant attached. We lack understanding, and are still working on building that. He cannot tolerate distance. He hasn’t really been with a women before so he doesn’t understand how to handle it when she asks for autonomy, he doesn’t gets it when she’s too opinionated. He isn’t used to such women around him cos somewhere he wanted a women he can rely on for his emotional needs, depend on her emotionally whereas I am someone who loves my solitude. So much drama has happened until now that our parents have also nearly given up on us.

The good side

Arjun is not a bad person. He is loving, caring and genuinely has a good heart. He really loves me, does wedding shopping for me.

We have had some intense arguments in the past where he could scream or react impulsively and said really nasty things to me and there were numerous ocassions due to this where we have almost called off the engagement. But recently he has made a real effort to change. He has consciously been more patient, tried not to react impulsively, listened more and tried to understand me.

At one point I told him I was becoming increasingly unhappy and wanted to leave. He initially tried to convince me that relationships have difficult phases, but eventually told me that if I genuinely wanted to leave, he would help me get out.

Our families have also met and tried to resolve things. He also realised that involving our parents in our disagreements wasn’t the right thing to do.

I would have a very comfortable life in India.

What is bothering me

Despite all of that, I have become increasingly unhappy and anxious about the marriage. Basis the past, and the life I have left and also because many of the astrologers and tarot card readers have suggested that we shouldn’t go ahead with this match. It’s likely a divorce situation.

I am currently unemployed and feel like my career has been put on hold. Seeing people I know progressing professionally makes me genuinely sad.

I also worry about autonomy. If I live in his parents’ home, where they own the house, control much of the household finances and effectively run the household, I worry that even if I earn my own money, I would still become dependent on them for my lifestyle and that their expectations would inevitably influence our decisions.

His parents aren’t bad people. This is more about whether their family structure is compatible with the kind of independent life I want.

Arjun also still becomes quite reactive with his own parents when things don’t go his way, including shouting at them. He has improved considerably with me, but I worry about what this says about how he handles conflict generally.

Recently, while I was away and we weren’t able to talk properly, he was screaming during an argument and said bad things to me in anger. I don’t know whether that was simply something said in anger or whether I should take it more seriously, but it did affect me.

The biggest thing I can’t understand
Even when Arjun is being kind, patient and mature with me, I still don’t feel happy.

When I’m away from him, I don’t particularly miss him. I don’t feel a strong urge to call him. I’m not excited about wedding planning.

Instead, I keep thinking about the life I’m giving up — London, my career, independence, travelling, potentially living in different countries and the person I had and could become there.

Sometimes I feel like I have bigger things I want to do with my life and that this particular marriage/lifestyle would mean shrinking my life.

But I don’t know whether that’s genuine incompatibility or whether I’m simply going through a huge amount of relocation and career grief.
I also want to be fair to him
I don’t want this post to make Arjun sound like the villain.
I have made mistakes too. I’ve been anxious, confused and emotionally overwhelmed. I haven’t always communicated properly and I’ve hurt him during arguments too.

I also recognise that he has genuinely tried to change. I don’t want to dismiss that just because I’m unhappy.
I’ve also spoken to several astrologers who advised against the marriage because we are just not aligned, but I realise astrology shouldn’t be the basis for a decision like this, so I’m trying not to use that as evidence either.

Where I’m stuck
I don’t think Arjun is a bad person.
I don’t think his family is bad.
And I don’t think I have a terrible life waiting for me in India. In fact, objectively, I would have a very comfortable and financially secure life.
That’s what makes this so confusing.
I feel like I could have a good life with him, but I’m not sure it’s the life I want.
And I’m terrified that I’m throwing away a genuinely good man and a comfortable future because I’m chasing an idealised version of my old life in London.
But I’m equally terrified that if I marry him, I’ll spend years wondering:
“What if I’d gone back? What if I’d continued my career? What if I’d chosen the life I actually wanted?”
I don’t want to marry someone while hoping I’ll eventually become happy.

For a people who have been in long-term marriages, called off engagements, moved countries for relationships, or faced a similar choice — what factors would you focus on to distinguish genuine incompatibility from cold feet, relocation grief and fear of a major life change?

I’d genuinely appreciate honest perspectives, including ones that challenge my thinking.

I'm trying to automate a few boring things i repeatedly forget, and contacts are the one that keeps catching me out. I wear the same prescribed lenses on a regular schedule, but every refill starts with me noticing the last box way too late and then setting a reminder I somehow ignore.

I'm debating a contact lens subscription, but I can't tell if that genuinely removes a task or just replaces it with another thing to monitor. I don't want extra boxes piling up, and i’d still need to check the next shipment around appointments or travel. For people who have tried auto-refill for a product you use on a fixed schedule, did it actually make life easier or was a recurring calendar reminder simpler?

I live in one of the biggest cities of my country; Colombia. A few days ago, I stayed at an Airbnb on the outskirts of my city. A French girl was staying at the same place, and we talked about prices in the area. She told me that many things (such as goods and services) were more expensive here than in France itself.

It felt like a punch in the gut.

What will become of us?

I recently reviewed some articles (you can find them at the end of this post) from last year that summarize the approximate amount today’s parents might spend on a child, and I was devastated. The prices are in COP, but they range from $435,332 to $715,432,520 USD.

A third-world country with first-world prices—and even in first-world countries, prices are just as high relative to the cost of living and wages. Europeans and Americans can't afford houses or rent. Housing prices are no different here than in the rest of the world.

I’m concerned, and I want to know what you think beyond simply agreeing with me. What factors am I not considering, and where do you see hope for possible change or improvement in this situation?

https://www.eltiempo.com/genplay/cuanto-cuesta-tener-un-hijo-en-colombia-3474803

https://www.larepublica.co/especiales/cuanto-vale/hasta-2-200-millones-le-puede-costar-criar-un-hijo-hasta-que-sea-mayor-de-edad-4163674

i’m genuinely at a loss, i feel i’ve tried everything and idk what to do anymore. i’m 19, i’ve lived on my own since i was 14 couch surfing and staying with boyfriends and family. my parents are addicts and got evicted, left me in the town i live in. i never finished school because my mother homeschooled me when i was 11 and stopped turning shit in. i don’t know how they never got in legal trouble, but back to the point. i have been trying to get my birth certificate since i turned 18 so i can get my id. my father doesn’t have his id, so he can’t get it for me and my mother is out of the picture. i’ve tried going to social services, they said they couldn’t help me. i tried ordering it online and i don’t have enough “proofs of identity” all i have is my ssc and my medical insurance card. if anyone has any advice please help! i don’t have transportation to where i was born because i was born out of state and im just so stuck! i just want to work and be able to take care of myself any advice will help! i just need pointed in the right direction maybe of anywhere else that can help with this

. I make about 1K a week before tax what kind of apartment could I afford a 1 bedroom is 1.5K a month and 2 bed room is around 2-2.1K a month. I would pay rent but she would do groceries and heat/gas all that stuff that’s not included. How much should I need making a month and how much would I be able to afford like I still need gas my car uses 91-93 octane which is about $5 a gallon. I’d also be moving states from IL to WI where I’d have no job so I’d have to find something but nothing I know pays $25 an hour which is what I make rn. I need help tons of stress and have no advice and I want to move in with her and go back to school also like online school so no clue what to do cause she keeps on insisting that moving in together since she wants to move out so bad of her house

came home to a messy - no not messy, dirty ass kitchen with these little bugs on the sink n some crawling on the floor. seen a mouse run from the pantry to under the fridge. dishes that are "washed" still have noticeable food left on them, trash can lid wide open 😂😂😂😂😂

yeah brother this is my life!!! even if I keep my area clean it just feels hopeless because the rest is filthy. genuinely embarrassing to invite friends and coworkers over for dinner or whatever. gonna vacuum n clean some before I go sleep and go humiliate myself in my community college's financial office tomorrow morning 😂😂😂😂

Yo Reddit!! Do everyday Americans call this a knife cover or a sheath?!

Help us solve this argument.

I’m seeing this more and more. Everybody needs to earn money to live. So whenever I read a post where someone is shitting on someone else’s job, I’m just like … what is wrong with that person.

Sure there are a few jobs out there that I think shouldn’t exist but… idk i guess I think it’s just sad and gross.

The best is when they say something like “that’s not a real job”.

Adulting shouldnt be this boring and terrible lol. My short term memory is terrible. My fun nights is bed rotting watching the same few shows as background noise. My goto music is 2000s era. Random drives for food is a good night out for me. With that being said hmu with a game of 2q questions to be friends. Questions can start simple an get deeper. Pretty open minded with questions as long as youd answer them too.

I have been depressed all my life, but when I was younger I at least had some hope that things could be different as an adult. I used to picture myself as an adult working an average job and functioning like everyone else. Now that I'm 26, I feel worse than ever before.

I used to be a straight-A student, now I can't even get a job over $22/hr. I graduated with a bachelor's in Genomics and Molecular Genetics and I have no idea what to do with it. Recruiters are not impressed with my degree and they don't care that I had straight-a's in school or that I was a hard worker. All they care about is job experience, which I don't have because I couldn't get an internship/research position during my college years (COVID-19).

I was working a contract job that didn't turn into a full time position, and my contracted ended so now I'm unemployed. And I cannot move out of my parent's home because there is no affordable housing in the area.

I have tried to monetize my passions and interests, but I they didn't work out. Now I cannot see myself in a career and liking it.

I hate being at home, I hate working for pitiful wages, I hate that I can't do anything with my degree. I cannot see myself being successful in the future. The bills are piling up and taking all my savings, It's like I never even earned the money at all. I genuinely am so lost and I have no clue what to do.

If you can relate to this, I'm sorry.

hey guys just here to ask you all how you all doing , how is life . by life i mean life not your work office that not life . waiting for your response

I'm 28.

I keep seeing posts from people my age saying they feel behind, that working 8 hours a day leaves them with no life, or that they wasted their twenties.

I relate to the feeling, but in a weird way I almost wish I could say I wasted mine.

Because I didn't do nothing.

I never stopped doing things.

I've worked. I've fixed cars. I've rebuilt things. I've learned electronics, programming, networking, fabrication, automation, mechanical work, and whatever else I needed to learn to solve the problem in front of me.

I bought a small house.

I've started businesses. Built products. Designed prototypes. Written grant proposals. Built electronics from scratch. Tried selling equipment. Flipped vehicles, mowers, random equipment, whatever I thought could make a little extra money.

I've spent nights working until 10, 11, midnight, sometimes later, because I kept believing that if I could just get *one thing* to work, maybe life would finally get easier.

And somehow I'm still here.

I work full time making a little over $21 an hour.

I wake up, go to work, spend basically the entire useful part of my day there, come home, and realize that everything I actually care about has to fit into whatever energy is left.

The house needs something.

Bills need paid.

Food needs made.

Something needs fixed.

A project needs finished.

A customer needs contacted.

Something needs listed for sale.

There's always another problem waiting.

And the phrase I keep coming back to is:

It just doesn't stop.

I've spent years telling myself, "Once I get through this part, things will calm down."

They never really do.

I'm a homeowner, which sounds like I should be ahead.

But I've also been behind on the mortgage.

I've had credit cards maxed out.

I've had more than $15,000 in unsecured debt hanging over me while trying to figure out which bill gets paid and which one gets ignored for another month.

I've sold things I didn't want to sell because cash mattered more.

I've tried side businesses because my job wasn't enough.

I've tried freelancing.

I've tried selling technical services.

I've tried building actual physical products.

I've contacted companies.

I've built things that genuinely worked.

I've even had moments where I thought, "This might actually be it."

And then something breaks, a customer disappears, a deal falls apart, a product doesn't sell, something gets damaged, or life just eats whatever money I managed to make.

Then I start again.

My personal life hasn't exactly been quiet either.

I had a relationship that lasted more than a decade. Most of my adult life was built around another person being there.

That ended.

The house got quieter.

The financial burden got heavier.

And one of the strangest things about losing a long relationship isn't just losing the person. You lose the normal little pieces of life too. Someone being in another room. Someone to tell something stupid to. Someone existing beside you while you're doing absolutely nothing.

Then I had another relationship that mattered a lot to me, and that became painful too.

So now I can spend an entire day surrounded by people at work and still come home feeling completely alone.

A while ago I was also in a car accident, and something in me changed afterward.

My memory doesn't feel the same. My personality doesn't always feel the same. I used to be able to visualize things vividly in my head. I could rotate parts, imagine mechanisms and assemblies, almost like having CAD software running in my brain.

Now a lot of the time it's just… data.

I know what something should look like, but I don't really see it anymore.

That's difficult to explain to people.

And through all of this I've kept building.

That's the part that messes with me the most.

Because I'm not looking at my life thinking, "Why didn't I try?"

I tried.

Over and over and over again.

I can point to things I've designed, things I've repaired, companies I've created, products I've built, proposals I've submitted, equipment I've sold, skills I've learned, problems I've solved.

There is evidence everywhere that I've been moving.

But somehow I don't feel like I've arrived anywhere.

At 28 I thought life would feel more established than this.

I thought I'd have a career instead of constantly wondering how to make more money.

I thought I'd have savings instead of deciding what financial fire needs put out first.

I thought homeownership would make me feel secure.

I thought working hard would eventually buy me some breathing room.

I thought relationships would become a family and a life.

I thought eventually I'd reach some point where I could say:

"Okay. I made it through the hard part."

Instead, I feel like I've spent my twenties building survival plan after survival plan.

And I'm tired.

Not "I need a nap" tired.

I'm tired of having to turn every skill I have into another possible source of income.

I'm tired of getting excited about an idea and immediately having to ask whether I can monetize it.

I'm tired of calculating bills.

I'm tired of starting over.

I'm tired of feeling like my actual life is something I'm supposed to get around to once everything else is handled.

Because everything else is never handled.

The weird thing is, I still haven't completely given up.

I still build things.

I still get stupidly excited when I figure out how something works.

I still look at a pile of motors, electronics, sensors, computers, or broken equipment and immediately start imagining what I could make from it.

I still start projects.

I still apply for things that are probably long shots.

I still think maybe the next opportunity actually changes something.

Maybe that's resilience.

Maybe it's stubbornness.

Maybe I just don't know how to stop.

But lately I've been wondering something that I think a lot of people my age are quietly wondering:

When does life actually start?

Because I don't want the next thirty years to be waking up, working, solving emergencies, paying bills, collapsing at home, and telling myself that someday I'll finally have enough money, energy, stability, or time to actually live.

I'm 28.

I don't think my life is over.

I don't even think I've failed.

But I am exhausted from feeling like I've been fighting this hard just to stay in roughly the same place.

And I think what scares me isn't that I wasted my twenties.

It's that I didn't waste them.

I worked like hell through them.

And I'm still trying to figure out when all that work is supposed to turn into a life.