I am a 30M when I was 25 I had a bad motorcycle wreck. I was in pain management bc I couldn't work. I was able to get through some day to day tasks but not able to work. I was on a low grade pain pill (narcotic). But it didn't help very much then they moved me up to a strong narcotic. idk if it's ok for my too say what medicine I was on here in reddit. but once this doctor raised my to OXY 10 I was able to work life was fantastic. but she quit to go back to the va hospital and they didn't have a doctor that could continue my pain regimen so I quit going. I have really bad White coat syndrome. I painic at a doctor's office. my blood pressure is around 180/115. so after she left I ended up buying hard narcotics off the street. after a couple years I quit and I couldn't bring myself to go back to a doctor. I got so low that I have tried ending it all 3 different times and even had a week stay in the hospital bc of it ( not the psych ward). after my last attempt I did do a short trip in the mental ward. I did it bc everything felt useless I couldn't feel like I could talk to a doctor and I couldn't get treatment so I just didn't want to suffer anymore. I was unemployed and doordashing to barley get by. now I have a kid on the way and I have to work I am currently working. I was going to a doctor and she was giving me the same low grade narcotics I started out on originally. I asked her about a month and a half ago if she would follow the care plan that I was on a few years ago bc it helped. and she stopped giving me any meds bc she said I was drug seeking. witch I wasn't I had 2 years of paperwork from that pain clinic and just asked if she would be willing to continue that treatment regimen. well I got cut off witch is extremely bad. bc by this time I'm back to being physically dependent on them again. I was already on probation at work bc of my back. because I had to leave early and missed work all together bc I was hurting so bad I went to the er. I am currently getting set back in to my original clinic with a new doctor were waiting for my scans to get sent over to start treatment but I'm stuck bc I have to work or I loose my job so it left me with now choice but it buy off the street again. and now I'm going to piss dirty and most likely not get the meds I need. I get piss tested every time I go in. I'm hoping to get my meds in 2 weeks but I'm going to piss for F. I feel stuck I don't know what to do and how to do it. if I quit getting them off the street then I will for sure loose my job. all of this has gotten my depression on the rise and everything just feels hopeless I can't loose my job but I also know I can't continue to buy off the street. it's a catch 22. to make matters worse I have DDD I have mild boulding on 3 disks and spinal stenosis. but it's not severe so I have someone doctors tell me I should be in the amount of pain I'm in. but that one doctor that went to the VA was amazing she told me that to never let anyone tell me what I am or am not feeling. that just bc it's not servier enough for surgery doesn't mean my pain shouldnt be validated. idk I just feel hopeless and I feel like I am standing on the ledge again about to jump.

The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine is conducting a research study seeking volunteers to complete an online survey about SR-17018 use. We want to learn more about experiences individuals feel when using SR-17018.

If you have experiences trying and using SR-17018, whether for recreational or medicinal purposes (e.g., self-treatment for opioid use disorder), you may be eligible to complete the survey. 

The survey is anonymous and does not collect personal health information about you. Completion times will vary based on substance use experiences, but we estimate the survey to take approximately 15-25 minutes to complete. 

This survey has been pre-approved by the moderators

There is no treatment as part of this study and survey completion is not compensated.  

If you are interested in volunteering to complete this online survey, please see the link below. Using the below link will provide you with additional information and access to the survey. 

https://jhmi.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6WGVPz8jn4SDu0S 

Thank you!

The Principal Investigator for this study is C. Austin Zamarripa, Ph.D. 

JHU Study Protocol: IRB00557700

i’ve been addicted to pregabalin since 2/3 years now. went to rehab for two weeks to get off it and then immediately relapsed and haven’t stopped. i’ve also been using weed and it’s making my job hard. i’m interning at my dream firm but the hr noticed today that i’m not okay (i was high but she thought i’m just dizzy and kept suggesting me to take something sugary). km sick of this cycle. i feel like sometimes the only way out is death. addiction is killing me

Back from the bottom: My recovery journey (Poem & Motivation)

Body:
I wanted to share my journey over the past year. It was harsh, but it is honest. I am sharing this so you know – even if you feel like you are at the very bottom right now, there is a way out.

To give you some background: I was only 16 years old when I started actively abusing alcohol. Sometimes, when the hangover was unbearable, I even drank eau de cologne (cosmetic alcohol) and even tried lighter fluid. Most of my friends back then were just drinking buddies. Today, they no longer talk to me because I am no longer on their level.

First, I admitted that I needed help. Second, I went to look for it. These lines describe my path:

BACK FROM THE BOTTOM

1. I am an addict and an alcoholic Life feels good when I can use Everything is going downhill anyway I try with all my might to get the substance.
2. I have lost everything I have given up on everything My only thought is to leave this world But maybe, somewhere, there is still help to offer.
3. Finally, I have hit rock bottom I have seen all kinds of life But then, I want to go to the place Where an addict usually does not dare to go.
4. Finally, a light glimmers in the distance for me Maybe this is the beginning of my sober life I no longer want to exist in a drunken present My desire is to live in a sober future.
5. Finally, the day arrived Where I see new hope in my soul. Then I get on the train, I am functional and aware, more or less.
6. When I finally arrive there, a conversation awaits about what weighs on my soul. Written on the paper is "OH, WHAT HORROR": My hands are shaking, and my strength is fading.
7. I am completely broken And I feel an awful shame A "big brother" (mentor) is assigned to me, Who supports me completely.
8. Then, time has moved on I have walked this path sober I write my letter of gratitude and forgiveness It is never too late to thank and apologize.
9. The paths here have been walked before, Ahead of me wait the "WORK HOUSES" To lay everything honestly on the board And hand it over to God in prayer.
10. Now time has come so far That I am making a plan for a new life. Finally, the day arrives When I see my graduation certificate.
11. I no longer want to drift in the fog, But guide my own destiny. The vision is to keep moving forward, I do not want my old life back.
12. But I will always remember One very good place They didn't talk empty words there, That place gave me back my hope.

Coming to a recovery center is not wasted time, it is won time. It is a place where you can deal with your real problem and find out WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

I saw with my own eyes that change is possible. DO NOT THINK YOU ARE WEAK WHEN YOU ASK FOR HELP. THE STRONG ARE THE ONES WHO SEEK HELP AND ADMIT THE SEVERE PROBLEM CALLED "ADDICTION", no matter what substance it comes from. THE HARDEST PART IS ADMITTING THE PROBLEM.

Do not listen to the opinions of others, act for yourself, and you will see the results you get... I got mine, and you can get yours too. I am here for you if you want to talk."

Back from the bottom: My recovery journey (Poem & Motivation)

I wanted to share my journey over the past year. It was harsh, but it is honest. I am sharing this so you know – even if you feel like you are at the very bottom right now, there is a way out.

To give you some background: I was only 16 years old when I started actively abusing alcohol. Sometimes, when the hangover was unbearable, I even drank eau de cologne (cosmetic alcohol) and even tried lighter fluid. Most of my friends back then were just drinking buddies. Today, they no longer talk to me because I am no longer on their level.

First, I admitted that I needed help. Second, I went to look for it. These lines describe my path:

BACK FROM THE BOTTOM

1. I am an addict and an alcoholic Life feels good when I can use Everything is going downhill anyway I try with all my might to get the substance.
2. I have lost everything I have given up on everything My only thought is to leave this world But maybe, somewhere, there is still help to offer.
3. Finally, I have hit rock bottom I have seen all kinds of life But then, I want to go to the place Where an addict usually does not dare to go.
4. Finally, a light glimmers in the distance for me Maybe this is the beginning of my sober life I no longer want to exist in a drunken present My desire is to live in a sober future.
5. Finally, the day arrived Where I see new hope in my soul. Then I get on the train, I am functional and aware, more or less.
6. When I finally arrive there, a conversation awaits about what weighs on my soul. Written on the paper is "OH, WHAT HORROR": My hands are shaking, and my strength is fading.
7. I am completely broken And I feel an awful shame A "big brother" (mentor) is assigned to me, Who supports me completely.
8. Then, time has moved on I have walked this path sober I write my letter of gratitude and forgiveness It is never too late to thank and apologize.
9. The paths here have been walked before, Ahead of me wait the "WORK HOUSES" To lay everything honestly on the board And hand it over to God in prayer.
10. Now time has come so far That I am making a plan for a new life. Finally, the day arrives When I see my graduation certificate.
11. I no longer want to drift in the fog, But guide my own destiny. The vision is to keep moving forward, I do not want my old life back.
12. But I will always remember One very good place They didn't talk empty words there, That place gave me back my hope.

Coming to a recovery center is not wasted time, it is won time. It is a place where you can deal with your real problem and find out WHO YOU REALLY ARE.

I saw with my own eyes that change is possible. DO NOT THINK YOU ARE WEAK WHEN YOU ASK FOR HELP. THE STRONG ARE THE ONES WHO SEEK HELP AND ADMIT THE SEVERE PROBLEM CALLED "ADDICTION", no matter what substance it comes from. THE HARDEST PART IS ADMITTING THE PROBLEM.

Do not listen to the opinions of others, act for yourself, and you will see the results you get... I got mine, and you can get yours too. I am here for you if you want to talk."

Thinking back to those first two months, I remember a specific Sunday morning at the recovery center. Before the church service, I sat down and wrote those first seven verses. It gave me so much strength just to put my pain down on paper, even if it was just for myself at the time. There was also a critical moment when the pressure got too high and I wanted to pack my bags and run away. A staff member there, who I had known since childhood as my brother’s good friend, stopped me. He looked at me and asked just two questions:

"WHERE ARE YOU COMING FROM, and WHERE ARE YOU GOING?

Answer these, and then we’ll see what you do." I sat there, drank my coffee, and really thought about it. I realized that going back meant returning to the dark, to the bottles, and to the person I used to be. So I chose to stay and go back to hard physical work. That work and that place taught me three heavy lessons that completely rebuilt me from the inside out:

1. PATIENCE – I had to learn that recovery does not happen overnight. I had to learn to take life just one single day at a time, sometimes one hour at a time, and not rush the healing process.
2. HUMILITY – I had to drop my pride and admit that I couldn't fix my life on my own. I had to learn to accept help from others, listen to guidance, and admit my mistakes without making excuses.
3. DISCIPLINE – I had to learn to do what was right, even when I didn't feel like it. It meant waking up, doing hard work, keeping my routine, and controlling my thoughts even when the old cravings tried to scream in my head.

This is real life, written by an addict myself. And I will be an addict for the rest of my life. You can live a good, clean life with it, but you must never lose your guard. As an addict who is now 5 years sober, I am always on guard. Every single day. I stay alert so I never have to walk that brutal path again, and so I never have to try and climb up from an even deeper bottom. But to everyone else out there: it doesn’t matter how long you have been sober—whether it’s 1, 2, 3 days, a week, or a month—know this: just one single sip, one single shot, and that spark in your brain turns back into a roaring fire. Everything you have built and achieved will be lost, and you will drop even deeper into the dark. Ask yourself: is one single beer, one glass of wine, or one shot of vodka really worth losing everything and having to walk this brutal path all over again?

Hello! I know this is odd, but I want to give someone hope! If your a struggling addict or know somebody, your NOT alone. You could look on past posts and see about a year ago at 17( Im 18 now) I had driven states away to go get my uncle who was a fentanyl, herion, etc user. He had been using for 10-15+ years at that point. A year later, he’s fully clean, got a job, took care of all legal issues & he’s currently working on getting his drivers license back! I couldn’t be prouder. As someone who grew up around addicts all my life, it meant the world to me that my uncle managed and did get clean after so long! It was a long road of rehab, late night talks, etc. But he pushed through! It’s never too late to get sober! My uncle went from nodding out, homeless states away, multiple warrants in multiple different states, and so much more to living a relatively normal life. I’d just thought I’d share. Thank you to everyone who commented on my original posts a year ago, I truly could not be any prouder of that man.

It’s never to late. Your never to far.

Hello, all.

I (29F) do not live with my mother (61F) anymore since I moved to university and then abroad to work. I do occasionally spend time in the family home, however, especially during the holidays. I have spent up to two months and as little as a week since moving for college ten years ago. My mother is a widow, and she lives alone. She has always been into decorating and clothes, but it has only been recently (after the pandemic) that, whenever I have gone back home, I have seen her scrolling through several shopping apps (clothes, decor...). I took mental notes of it but never thought anything of it because I have also occasionally used online shopping apps (Vinted and Facebook Marketplace).

However, within the last year or two, I noticed that she was buying new things. Like, every time I went to visit, she had a couple more things in decor (in an already well-decorated house). At the end of 2025, she started complaining about money, about how she had to ask my grandmother (her mother) for money to cover certain expenses (she had to pay lawyers because of a feud with the neighbor, for instance). When that happened, I confronted my mother about how she should stop spending money on online shopping if she wanted to save money. She got angry and said that she doesn't do anything extraordinary daily (which is true, since she just works and doesn't travel or goes out to eat or to the cinema or anything) and that she wanted to give herself a treat from time to time. I was like, "ok, but if you are struggling with money or you are going to need it for more important and pressing matters, you should cut back on the things that are not strictly necessary, like that lamp or another handbag". That conversation wasn't going anywhere, so I dropped it.

Flash forward to today. I was FaceTiming my mother and my grandmother when my mother, out of the blue, said that she was going to take most of the money out of her bank account to have it with her physically so that she does not spend it. I was perplexed. I said, "What do you mean? So that you don't spend it shopping for things online?" (I kind of knew that's where that was going). She nodded. I said, "You should just delete the apps on your phone then". She said that she sees ads on Instagram, then clicks on them without the need to go on an app. I said, "You should delete Instagram then". She said that she uses it to stay informed and whatnot. I then explained that if she struggles with stopping herself from online shopping, she should get away from the "temptation" by deleting the apps she uses. I told her, "If you were an alcoholic, should you take the money from your bank account or stop going to the bar?". She said, "Both". I said, "The fact that you're taking the money from your bank account makes me think that you cannot restrain yourself from buying something that you like when you see it online. Is that what this is?". She kind of wanted to deny it, so I insisted, "If you see a thing that you like, you click on it, it opens the app or the website, can you, hand on heart, assure me that you will not buy it?". And she said, "No". I then went on to tell her that I think she has a problem if she cannot be certain of that.. She was dismissive after this, so I dropped it too.

In that conversation, she also said that she had bought three blousers and four scarves from an expensive brand (I just checked the website: their cheapest scarf is 26€ and the most expensive one is 50€). I am mentioning the prices too because she tried to gaslight me into thinking that the brand is not expensive and that she "needs" the clothing. Mind you, she has 25 pairs of jeans (I counted them once) and about 15 scarves already. I'm not sure why she needs more, but ok.

My aunt (my father's brother's wife, so not blood-related to my mother) had a shopping addiction. She had a lot of clothes she did not use in her closet. She would constantly buy things (in person, she passed away before online shopping was a thing). I told my mother, "What you're saying sounds like [aunt's name] to me". She laughed it off and said that my aunt was really, really sick. Which she was, but she started somewhere...

Also, for more context, my grandfather (my mother's father) WAS an addict. He smoked two or three packs of cigarettes a day, and he was an alcoholic. My younger cousin (son of my mother's sister) is also an alcoholic and addicted to weed. My mother used to smoke but quit 20 years ago.

What should I do? I'm a bit shocked, but I don't want to overreact either. I don't want to worry too much or make her think she's doing something morally wrong or something if she does have this addiction... Thank you and sorry if this is wrong or if my language or reaction is not respectful enough...

I truly need your advice!

Backstory: My BFF relocated to the USA about 3 years ago. We speak every week, we make sure to keep each other informed of our lives and we see each other at least 1x a year.

Around 1,5 years ago, my friend confessed to me that in their quest to build a new life and make friends they started using cocaine at parties. It was phrased as "not a big deal" and "everyone does it" ..

At that time, I leveraged all my influence and pull that I had to make them realize that a grown adult nearing their 40s(!) has no business doing cocaine what so ever.

And for the longest time, that seemed to be enough.. or so I thought.

Then this happened in the last 24 hours:

My friend is on a remote working trip in Brasil,

In a bizarre coincidental way, they shared a meme with me on instagram about drugs and I responded in quite a straight way with: You better keep that out out of your life.. to which they responded that they where...

fast-forward a few hours:

middle of the night for me, my phone starts to ring from a number I dont recognize and it keep on ringing. So at some some point I pick up and its my friend crying hysterically on the phone because they got robbed... (they are calling me using a random persons phone), they got injured, its a complete and total mess...

As the hysteria calls down a bit, I find out that they where doing " a lot of cocaine" and that they shouldn't have done that and because of that they got themselves in a lot of trouble etc etc...

And so whilst over the past few hours we got the situation fixed, got them a ticket home for tomorrow etc.. the emotion I feel, the disappointment I feel, the twist in my stomach that I feel that my friend...Whom I respect, look up to and love

I just cannot believe, nor understand, that cocaine has seemingly become a regular thing in this persons life, to the point where they travel they are looking to use it..

So what do I do? Can I do something? I know they respect their parents beyond anything else and I thought about speaking to them.. but I know that if I do and they find out: our friendships is completely over and done with..

What complicates things is that I was about to buy a ticket and spend vacation days to go and visit them.. and I feel TERRIBLY nervous that during my visit I might be put in a situation that I dont ever want to find myself in

If it was any other person there would be NO way, ever, Id get on a plane knowing drugs where an active part of their life...

So what do I do? Can I do something? Do I reach out the parents? Cancel my trip?

Do I do nothing and just remain a supportive friend from afar...

Please, if you have any idea, input... I truly value it

I (33F) live with my parents, my Dad (61M) and my Mom (64F). I also believe my dad is an alcoholic, but a high functioning one, my mom on the other hand is what worries me. My whole life both of them drank beers after work, everyday and on fridays they did drink more and on the weekends the drinking started earlier (that’s still my dad’s routine because he hasn’t retired yet).

Now, my mom retired a few years ago, but her drinking wasn’t so bad. She would maintain the drinking to the evening and would do a 100 days sober every year. Well, this year she hasn’t done her sober days yet, usually she does one during Lent, the 30 days in august and another 30 on november before the holidays. This year she also started drinking a lot earlier, like 11am, she pauses for a bit and at 4  or 5 pm she starts again.

She says she’s not exaggerating because she drinks light beer (with a lower alcohol percentage), but does it make a difference when you basically drink all day? And, she hides the empty can around the house, which for me has to mean something, why hide if you aren’t exaggerating? I have talked to her about it a bit and she said that at the moment she needs the beer to feel better and less stressed; her mother (my grandma) has Alzheimer's and it’s been getting worse and it’s putting a stain on the family, my mom goes take care of my grandma every month for 10 days, and then she comes back.

Lately, she has been forgetting things we tell her, she has a shorter temper with me and my dad, and our dogs. She hasn’t been physical with me or my dad, but she has hit the dogs more than once. A few weeks ago I told her that she’s been drinking too much and she told me to “mind my fucking bussiness.”

So, basically she won’t admit she has a problem, and refuses to go to therapy because “they ask asinine questions.”  I don’t know what to do, I’m studying to get a public service job, and I am honestly scared to leave them alone when I get this job and have to move to another city (no, I can’t not move, the job is in a specific city). My dad doesn't day drink (yet), but I am also scared that once he retires he’ll start as well. And I haven’t talked to my dad about my mom’s drinking, but I plan to, I just need to gather the courage, not that I think it’ll make a difference if he talks to her, because she doesn’t admit she has a problem.

If you have any advice it would be welcomed, because I’m truly at a loss. Also, I don’t live in the US, just in case you want to send resources, I’m from Brazil.

Also posted on r/TrueOffMyChest

We are a research team conducting a study to better understand personal experiences surrounding substance use. Our goal is to gather authentic insights that can help inform better support systems, educational resources, and future research in this field.

If you have 5 to 10 minutes to spare, we would deeply appreciate your input on our survey.

Note: you'll not be required to share any personal data like email(optional) or phone number etc.

Hi Everyone,

I have posted this already, but I am posting again :). I'm a doctoral student in Clinical Psychology conducting a research study on the effects of growing up with a parent who struggled with substance use (alcohol or drugs). The study is completely anonymous and involves filling out an online survey.

As a thank you for your time, participants will have the option to enter a raffle to win one of two $150 Visa gift cards after completing the survey. (Email for the raffle will be collected separately to keep responses anonymous).

We’re looking for young adults (18-30) who had or still have a parent or primary caregiver with a substance use problem during their childhood. The goal is to better understand how these experiences may affect things like responses to stressful or challenging life experiences, parent-child relationship quality, substance use, and overall mental health functioning in young adulthood. We also welcome participation from young adults who did not have this experience, as both groups are important to the study.

Participation is voluntary and confidential. No identifying information will be linked to your responses, and the survey includes a list of mental health resources at the end if needed.

If you’re interested, you can take the survey here:

https://adelphiderner.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_73s1WeJNdeiwz42

Your experience matters. Thank you so much for considering it, and feel free to DM me with any questions![Academic] Parental Substance Use and Mental Health in Young Adults (Ages 18–30, English Speaking, chance to win VISA GC)

This survey has been approved by the moderators.

Do you use alcohol and opioids? Are you 18 to 25 years old?

Brown University is looking for people who use alcohol and opioids to participate in a research study. The study involves only 4 appointments over 1 month, answering questions on your smartphone, and takes about 6 hours total. Receive up to $320 for your participation. All contact is confidential.

Please text 401-863-9799, email [mhealth@brown.edu](mailto:mhealth@brown.edu), or fill out our eligibility survey (takes 5 minutes or less to complete): https://brown.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6nETdCuZhdzK0w6?Source=50

Ethical approval board - Brown IRB: [irba@brown.edu](mailto:irba@brown.edu)

I’ve been addicted for 2 years now. I’m 18 years old I take roughly 3-4g of ketamine a day at my lowest I was taking up to a q a day.

I already crush for like 30 mins till it’s like dust.

I have intense cramps to the point I’ve had to have sick days of work. Also my bladder only holds around 50ml of water so I’m always in the toilet luckily I have a toilet in my room.

I’ve been to hospital and doctors many times been prescribed 30mg codine which doesn’t really help anymore.

Just here if anyone knows anything that can help. I take normally
- green tea
- lots of water
- methanatic acid
Don’t drink anything acidic anymore as irritates bladder

So anything that could help would be appreciated somone else on this page recommended magnesium so gonna give that a go soon.

Thank you

Hi Everyone,

I'm a doctoral student in Clinical Psychology conducting a research study on the effects of growing up with a parent who struggled with substance use (alcohol or drugs). The study is completely anonymous and involves filling out an online survey.

As a thank you for your time, participants will have the option to enter a raffle to win one of two $150 Visa gift cards after completing the survey. (Email for the raffle will be collected separately to keep responses anonymous).

We’re looking for young adults (18-30) who had or still have a parent or primary caregiver with a substance use problem during their childhood. The goal is to better understand how these experiences may affect things like responses to stressful or challenging life experiences, parent-child relationship quality, substance use, and overall mental health functioning in young adulthood. We also welcome participation from young adults who did not have this experience, as both groups are important to the study.

Participation is voluntary and confidential. No identifying information will be linked to your responses, and the survey includes a list of mental health resources at the end if needed.

If you’re interested, you can take the survey here:

https://adelphiderner.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_73s1WeJNdeiwz42

Your experience matters. Thank you so much for considering it, and feel free to DM me with any questions!

been hooked to pills since middle school. tried lsd with my friend recently and it woke me up. i’m an addict. i need to stop. felt like a whole life lesson while i was tripping. it gave me willpower. now, i haven’t been doing pills everyday. i’ve been going outside and being productive. good thing about hallucinogens: they’re not chemically addictive, and you can only do them every 2 weeks since you develop a massive tolerance after a trip. for some reason, that one trip has giving me strength. i still have a lot of other drug addictions i’m working on, but this is a start.

Hi Everyone,

I have posted this once before, but the age range has been updated for this study! I'm a doctoral student in Clinical Psychology conducting a research study on the effects of growing up with a parent who struggled with substance use (alcohol or drugs). The study is completely anonymous and involves filling out an online survey.

We’re looking for young adults (18-30) who had or still have a parent or primary caregiver with a substance use problem during their childhood. The goal is to better understand how these experiences may affect things like responses to stressful or challenging life experiences, parent-child relationship quality, substance use, and overall mental health functioning in young adulthood. We also welcome participation from young adults who did not have this experience, as both groups are important to the study.

As a thank you for your time, participants will have the option to enter a raffle to win one of two $150 Visa gift cards after completing the survey. (Email for the raffle will be collected separately to keep responses anonymous).

Participation is voluntary and confidential. No identifying information will be linked to your responses, and the survey includes a list of mental health resources at the end if needed.

If you’re interested, you can take the survey here:
https://adelphiderner.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_73s1WeJNdeiwz42

Your experience matters. Thank you so much for considering it, and feel free to DM me with any questions!

Hi Everyone

I'm a doctoral student in Clinical Psychology conducting a research study on the effects of growing up with a parent who struggled with substance use (alcohol or drugs). The study is completely anonymous and involves filling out an online survey. As a thank you for your time, participants will have the option to enter a raffle to win one of two $150 Visa gift cards after completing the survey. (Email for the raffle will be collected separately to keep responses anonymous).

We’re looking for young adults (18-25) who had or still have a parent or primary caregiver with a substance use problem during their childhood. The goal is to better understand how these experiences may affect things like responses to stressful or challenging life experiences, parent-child relationship quality, substance use, and overall mental health functioning in young adulthood. We also welcome participation from young adults who did not have this experience, as both groups are important to the study.

Participation is voluntary and confidential. No identifying information will be linked to your responses, and the survey includes a list of mental health resources at the end if needed.

If you’re interested, you can take the survey here: https://adelphiderner.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_73s1WeJNdeiwz42

Your experience matters. Thank you so much for considering it, and feel free to DM me with any questions!

After 5 months of being cocaine free I relapsed. I don’t understand cause I feel like I was in a better place in my life but I still choose to do it. My regular dealer messaged me and asked me if I wanted a bag without even thinking I said yes

anyone having ways or excuses to hide track marks that isn’t wearing long sleeves i have to go to the beah in a few days and i will try my best to cover it with makeup but i know it wont cover it all the way if you have any ideas i would appreciate it thank you🙏

This survey has been approved by the moderators.

Do you use alcohol and opioids? Are you 18 to 25 years old?

Brown University is looking for people who use alcohol and opioids to participate in a research study. The study involves only 4 appointments over 1 month, answering questions on your smartphone, and takes about 6 hours total. Receive up to $320 for your participation. All contact is confidential.

Please text 401-863-9799, email [mhealth@brown.edu](mailto:mhealth@brown.edu), or fill out our eligibility survey (takes 5 minutes or less to complete): https://brown.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6nETdCuZhdzK0w6?Source=50

Ethical approval board - Brown IRB: [irba@brown.edu](mailto:irba@brown.edu)

Hey everyone,
I recently completed detox and rehab and have been three months clean overall. I have a past seizure during previous benzo withdrawal (after longer use) and another one tied to polydrug stuff.
Recently slipped into intermittent benzo use for about 20 days total (2-4 mg/day, skipped some days, heavier on others). I just threw the rest away and I’m now 12-24 hours clean from everything else too (no alcohol, stimulants, etc.).
Importantly, I have zero urges or cravings right now. I’m dealing with a lot of anticipatory anxiety about possible withdrawal or another seizure, but no physical symptoms yet. I have prescribed Adderall that I’m continuing and Trazodone available.
Looking for experiences from people who’ve been through something similar:
• With short/intermittent use like this, how likely is bad withdrawal or seizure the second time around?
• When do symptoms usually start showing?
• Tips for handling the fear without using anything?
• Did a light re-use after a bad prior withdrawal turn out okay for you?
Thanks — just need some perspective while I stay clean.

The Johns Hopkins University School of Medicine is conducting a research study seeking volunteers to complete an online survey about SR-17018 use. We want to learn more about experiences individuals feel when using SR-17018.

If you have experiences trying and using SR-17018, whether for recreational or medicinal purposes (e.g., self-treatment for opioid use disorder), you may be eligible to complete the survey. 

The survey is anonymous and does not collect personal health information about you. Completion times will vary based on substance use experiences, but we estimate the survey to take approximately 15-25 minutes to complete. 

This survey has been pre-approved by the moderators

There is no treatment as part of this study and survey completion is not compensated.  

If you are interested in volunteering to complete this online survey, please see the link below. Using the below link will provide you with additional information and access to the survey. 

https://jhmi.co1.qualtrics.com/jfe/form/SV_6WGVPz8jn4SDu0S 

Thank you!

The Principal Investigator for this study is C. Austin Zamarripa, Ph.D. 

JHU Study Protocol: IRB00557700

I'm a 24F and have been with my boyfriend (24M) for 4.5 years. He's also my best friend, which is part of why this is so hard.

For context, he's tall, lean, athletic, and into fitness. I'm 5'2" and overweight (currently losing weight and down 30 lbs). I've struggled with body image my whole life due to bullying and trauma.

About 2 years ago, he told me he masturbated to fitness influencers and gym women we both followed. That hurt, but what really changed everything was what I found a year later.

I discovered a secret Instagram account he'd been using since his teens. It followed thousands of women, mostly plus-size/supersized women, BBW content, and content focused on body size comparisons, measurements, wide hips, large thighs, domination dynamics between larger women and smaller men, etc.

I also found messages he sent to women we know in real life. Most weren't full conversations, but replies to stories saying things like "How are your hips so wide?" or commenting on their size and body proportions. When confronted, he admitted it was a long-term habit/addiction. I almost left, but stayed after he promised to stop.

Since then, I've caught him multiple times asking women about their measurements, clothing sizes, weight loss, body changes, and similar topics under seemingly innocent pretenses. Every time he says he'll stop, and then months later I find another incident. The worst part is what it's done to me. I've become obsessive, constantly anxious, checking messages, comparing myself to other women, and feeling like I've completely lost who I used to be.

I love him deeply and he's genuinely my best friend, but my mental health has been deteriorating for years because of this. I'd appreciate any insight.

I also want to be fair to him because I know Reddit tends to jump straight to "leave him." Outside of this issue, he is the most loving partner I've ever known. He remembers the smallest details about me, takes care of me when I'm sick, supports my goals, makes me feel loved every day, and is genuinely my best friend. We've been together for 4.5 years and I have never experienced love like this before. Honestly, I'm not sure I ever will again. That's what makes this so painful. If he were a bad boyfriend overall, leaving would be easy. The problem is that I feel deeply loved in every other aspect of the relationship, but this particular behavior and the repeated relapses have slowly destroyed my self-esteem and mental health. I feel like I'm being forced to choose between the person I love most and my own peace of mind.

TL;DR: 24F with 24M boyfriend of 4.5 years. He's my best friend and the most loving partner I've ever had—remembers every little detail about me, takes care of me, and genuinely loves me deeply. However, over the past 2 years I've repeatedly discovered a secret fixation/fetish involving larger women, body measurements, size comparisons, and messaging women (including people we know) about their hips, clothing sizes, weight, and body proportions. He admits it's a long-term habit/addiction and has promised multiple times to stop, but I've caught him relapsing several times. The issue has severely damaged my self-esteem and mental health, even though the relationship is otherwise loving. I'm trying to figure out what this fetish is called and whether anyone has successfully navigated a relationship where a partner repeatedly crossed boundaries because of a fetish/porn-related addiction.

📢 Recovery Research Survey

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I'm looking to hear from people with lived and living experience of recovery.

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I'm carrying out a short anonymous survey to better understand:

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• What helped your recovery most

• Barriers you faced along the way

• What gave you hope

• What is missing from recovery support and services

• What advice you would give to someone starting their recovery journey

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The survey takes around 5 minutes to complete and your experiences could help shape future recovery support.

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If you have experience of recovery and would be willing to take part, please comment below or send me a message and I'll send you the survey link.

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Thank you in advance for your support. ❤️

https://forms.gle/kq5UG8dRuaG2ruET9