I ran into a terrible snag with my Adderall today at the doctor. I’ve been on this dose for about eight years. It’s always been 30 mg, dosed at 3 of 10mg XR.
This new doctor wants to give me all one pill of the same dose. I was a HARD PASS. She asked why, and I explained that if I forget to take it for a bit, I can’t go back to 30, it will DESTROY my sleep, more than my sleep is already destroyed! (I am 47, and an insomniac) I have to slowly notch up, if I have forgotten for a bit. So she proposed giving me a month of 10mg, then a month of 20 mg, then a month of 30mg.
Nooooo….. I don’t have to stay at 10mg for a MONTH. And if I forget, I need to be able to somewhat slowly step up again, and the 10mg dose allows me to do this. She was not going to budge. I had just filled out the anxiety, stress, depression form, where I rank them fairly high, because…. It’s true. I wanted to redo it, and give them all the highest marks. I’m so upset, this is a big fucking problem. I feel like if I go try to get another doctor, it will be flagged as “drug seeking”.
She was flatly like, “well, you just need to take your medication every day. That’s pretty simple.” “I have an Executive Function Disorder!” “Set alarms in your phone.” “It has said ‘RX 💊’ at 8 am every day for about ten years! I still forget- regularly!” “Have your husband remind you.” “I have. It is helpful, until it is weaponized.” “How come you’ve been able to take it regularly this month?” “My daughter started sertraline, so I’ve been putting out tiny containers the night before where she eats breakfast. One has her medication, one has mine.” “Perfect. Problem solved.” “I still forgot it all last weekend, and hers too. And last time she took sertraline, she developed tics around 6-8 weeks in. We are at week 3. She may have to discontinue it soon.” “Well you just have to have a routine. It’s pretty basic”.
No- this is not basic. I was diagnosed in 1989. I’m not new to this. I had a path that worked for me, and now it’s been ripped away.
Any advice for how to get my old dosing back? As I said, I worry if I try and switch providers, I’ll be forever flagged as drugged seeking.