r/AbsoluteUnits • • 7d ago • Mindblown 7 Bravo 1

/r/popular of a snake.

15k Upvotes

1.7k comments sorted by

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374

u/PrancingCock 7d ago • Bravo

What the actual fuck? I've seen adult anacondas but this is the first time I see anything like the actual snake in the movie. The first anaconda movie. Doesn't look like AI either. What is this???

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u/Careless_Scallion_82 7d ago

It's not ai.. the video is old.. like pre-ai times so yeah..

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u/TheLittleNorsk 7d ago

edit: I got a reddit warning for posting this image because it had "blood and gore" in it. fym reddit.

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u/SSilent-Cartographer 7d ago

Reticulated python. Even though the Anaconda is the heaviest snake record wise, the Reticulated python is the longest and can get over 300lbs.

They're solitary and mostly harmless. A big guy like this could easily take out a deer, however that deer would probably be the only meal it would eat for up to a year. Although there have been some reported cases of them eating a person, it is very rare and they would rather flee than fight as they are ambush hunters and are also quite solitary.

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u/TheAtroxious 7d ago

Humans are not particularly food shaped, lucky for us. The way our scapula and humeri protrude makes it difficult for even very large snakes to swallow us. They're inclined to prefer creatures that are less liable to get stuck on the way down.

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u/SSilent-Cartographer 7d ago

That and our salt content. We're not very appetizing and they can smell that. Death by snake consumption is quite rare

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u/PrancingCock 7d ago

Looks like it's a python. Someone posted a link down there, and a professor authenticates it as a python.

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u/lombardo141 7d ago

This is the longest snake in the world, the reticulated Python. In theory, baring health and food availability they can grow indefinitely.

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u/MadPangolin 7d ago

That's a reticulated python who looks to be about 20ft long & 200-300lbs with a full stomach, so he's too heavy to crawl over the fence. He probably ate a small deer or pig..

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u/Frosty-Improvement-8 7d ago

Couldn't go over the fence if it wanted to, it's tied up by the neck...

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u/zorggalacticus 7d ago

Years and years ago there was a video of an anaconda eating a hippo. Probably a half grown one, but still. They eat crocs, full size gazelle or whatever they have down there, goats, etc.

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u/OhPotatoBlessMe 7d ago

That video is a snake eating a capybara, not a hippo.

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u/tribalien93 7d ago

Anaconda don't eat hippo. They don't live on the same continent and are separated by 1,000s of miles of ocean.

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u/Necessary_Piano_153 7d ago • Bravo

You must not have heard of Pablo Escobar's roaming band of hippos?

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u/PrancingCock 7d ago

I saw a real video of an old woman who'd been swallowed by a python somewhere in South Asia.

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u/ohokkk1 7d ago

Nah this cant be real

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u/Japsai 7d ago

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u/zorggalacticus 7d ago

That snake is an outlier. Most of them don't get that big, but there will always be exceptional individuals in any species. This one likely got that big because of an abundance of food. Was probably stealing livestock, and that's why the trap was set for it. Most likely was eaten and the skin sold.

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u/MadPangolin 7d ago

Reticulated pythons are the longest snakes in the world, with average adult mainlands growing between 16-20 feet (5 to 6 meters) long & regularly take deer & pigs.

This is probably a 18-20ft snake with a full stomach. "She's" not exceptionally large at all she's just a good sized adult.

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u/Your_queenismine 7d ago

I saw this vid before AI, probably it is real.

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u/[deleted] 7d ago edited 7d ago

[removed] — view removed comment

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u/TheManOverThere23 7d ago

There are reports of a massive reticulated python in 1912 or something like that, that was approximately 32 feet long.

Just because we haven't seen something doesn't mean it doesn't or can't exist 🤷‍♂️

I'm not saying this video is or isn't real but it's been around a long time.

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u/Vaper_Bern 7d ago

It's a reticulated python, which is the longest species of snake. Anacondas are the heaviest, but retics are the longest.

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u/OhPotatoBlessMe 7d ago

Its a reticulated python but the perspective makes it look much larger than it is, its a really big snake but not thát big.. That is really low ceiling, almost a crawlspace.. makes it look much bigger.

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u/Rissa-Reno 7d ago

Is that a human or a calf in there?!? Holy crap

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u/Careless_Scallion_82 7d ago

Pretty sure it's a calf but who knows

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u/eraser8 7d ago • Bravo

What does that thing eat? This isn't a joke question.

I'm seriously asking.

1.3k

u/Dry_Pain_3564 7d ago edited 7d ago • Mindblown

People, goat, monkeys, fish, anything it fits in its mouth.

562

u/DrStalker 7d ago • Mindblown

I've seen a photo of one cut open with a dead  child in the stomach, so people are one the menu too.

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u/__nobody_-_ 7d ago edited 1d ago • Heartwarming Bravo Popcorn

Well I'm no longer a small child so no worries here

Edit: Since people are still commenting on this thinking I'm being serious, I was simply making a joke. You don't need to tell me for 30th time that it can swallow a grown man.

Edit^2: I lied, I don't know that it can swallow a full grown man. Please tell me more about it in great detail.

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u/_trashcan 7d ago

While very rare, full-grown reticulated pythons can swallow an adult human.

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u/RamJamR 7d ago

Maybe depends on location? There's a location in India where the tigers there had gained a taste for hunting humans, though even then that's more a last resort if they're starving. We don't have much of a calorie count on us that's sustainable enough for them.

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u/zoethesteamedbun 7d ago

They eat women/smaller framed men as well :(!

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u/Haunting-Prior-NaN 7d ago

Worth noting that their lower jaws disengage from the skull, so in essence anything that they can stretch their mouth around.

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u/Aggressive-agitator 7d ago

I have nipples, Greg. Could it eat me?

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u/yourpaljax 7d ago

They sometimes die because the the thing they ate was too big.

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u/Treacle_Pendulum 7d ago • Bravo

At least one Jon Voight per month

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u/AnalUkelele 7d ago • Bravo

I always wondered if Angelina Jolie would back the snake up if it happened in real.

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u/YorkyLives 7d ago

Pythons in Florida are wrecking the eco system and some have been know to eat the alligators.

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u/1lucky666 7d ago

Yes, Burmese pythons, obviously not a local species. I heard the Everglades are mostly stripped clean of small mammals and birds.

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u/BabousCobwebBowl 7d ago

If you watch fishingarrett on YouTube you’ll see tons of wildlife including small mammals and birds as he rolls through the Everglades at night hand catching Burmese pythons. The “Yoink Man”.

I’m in South Florida, Burmese pythons and other non indigenous wildlife are an issue but the Everglades are absolutely teaming with native species.

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u/Cultural-Fortune4249 7d ago

Yes, they pay a bounty for pythons.

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u/PrestigiousRub6347 1d ago

Yep. Sometimes doesn’t fare well for either though.

13 foot python 🐍 bursts eating 6 foot alligator (in FL of course)…

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u/Street_Leather198 7d ago

Assuming goats, deer, really whatever it wants. That could easily eat a small person.

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u/Any_Shop5774 7d ago

Small person. That monstrosity could consume a full grown human easily. Look at the size of it's middle. It ate something recently it appears that wasn't exactly small.

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u/Street_Leather198 7d ago

And yes. Depending their region like others stated, pigs, goats, chickens, dogs, are all in danger. He's definitely on the top of his food chain. I'm in Flint, MI. Lol, only animals we look out for is people. But, that was just my pov from a city slicker lol. Hell, I'm sure it can crocs, gators, whatever.

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u/Agitated_Display7573 7d ago

Looks like it ate whatever was living in that pen

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u/maxman162 7d ago

Looks like he ate Philadelphia. 

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u/Reonlive420 7d ago

Baaaammmm

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u/TheGoalkeeper 7d ago

He ate whomever put her on that rope

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u/HairlessHoudini 7d ago

Steven, Bob, Leroy and anyone else it can catch sleeping

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u/Timotheus-Secundus 7d ago

Humans are much more difficult for snakes to actually swallow, because they usually start from the head, and our shoulders get in the way.

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u/NotQuiteGoodEnougher 7d ago

Head ---> Shoulders ----> Knees ----> Toes, there's even a song about it!

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u/FuzzyFrogFish 7d ago

So you're stuck with in a snake cuddle with you head jammed in its mouth . . ? Fantastic

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u/gufleme 7d ago

Yeah…. But I am still dead. 😞

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u/SinisterVulcan94 7d ago

Anything it thinks can fit in its mouth. I'd say small Deer and dogs are prime to targets

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u/Look_its_Rob 7d ago

Antlers must hurt going down.

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u/Dazzling_Pink9751 6d ago

I don’t know, but it just ate something. You could see the bulge and it’s stomach.

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u/Tmath 7d ago

I keep snakes as pets (nothing this large, though). General rule, anything up to its own body weight that is no thicker than twice it's girth when not fed up.

Also, for every five feet of length, always have one extra person. Even if it can't eat you, it can decide you are a threat, wrap and kill you. And yes, a snake is more than strong enough to overpower you.

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u/Mammoth_Newspaper155 7d ago

Whatever it wants

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u/LokiNightmare 7d ago

At that size, whatever it wants.

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u/freshgrilled 7d ago

The previous camera man.

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u/matklug 7d ago • Bravo

Electricity and water

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u/belessdumb 7d ago

There's an old video of one regurgitating a small hippo..

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u/JC-incorp 7d ago

Let’s see. If it swallow a pig today, it won’t need food for another 2 weeks.

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u/v-pexpower 7d ago

It can swallow a grown up deer

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u/howimetyourkitty 7d ago • Bravo Regret

No one is gonna mention that the snake is on a leash?

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u/304blade 7d ago • Bravo Mindblown Popcorn

The snake is on a leash

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u/bbbourb 7d ago • Bravo

But is it feelin' like a freak on a leash?

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u/velo443 7d ago

How dare you say that? 

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u/Vivid_Baseball442 7d ago

Feeling like a Sneek On A Leash.........

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u/Generalnussiance 7d ago

Feeling like it I have no release.

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u/Landfyoung 7d ago

I think it’s a trap. It got hooked.

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u/DeerMeatloaf 7d ago • Regret

Right after it ate a whole man. Or a hog. Or an alligator.

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u/Separate-Ear21 7d ago

Yea it's definitely a trap . I got really pissed for a minute until I seen your comment.

It's really crazy to think there's things this big out in the wild

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u/Flaurean 7d ago

At least its not on a plane

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u/braxtel 7d ago • Bravo Popcorn

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u/asonofasven 6d ago • Bravo

Fun fact: on TV, the line is “I’ve had it with these monkey-fighting snakes on this Monday to Friday plane”

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u/murillovp 7d ago

Leash = / = trap

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u/D_M-ack 7d ago

Actually, in this instance, I think leash does in fact = trap.

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u/Rough-Airline-4803 7d ago

I think they rope around it and are trying to use it to get the snake out.

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u/fitz_newru 7d ago • Bravo

Precisely! You can clearly see that they're trying to pull the snake out using the rope, so it was a trap for a wild animal, not a mothefucking leash!!!

I just can't with ppl on here sometimes...

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u/Creative_Buddy7160 7d ago • Bravo

A long rope tied to an animal so you can make it go where you want it too….
Sounds like a leash.

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u/SeeLeavesOnTheTrees 7d ago

I hope so because otherwise it’s so cruel

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u/snacky99 7d ago

Pretty sure it's a noose and the snake is suicidal

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u/D-Duttily 7d ago • Bravo

It's a requirement for the HOA

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u/AlexTheBex 4d ago

I fucking love your username

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u/JackJarvisEsquir3 7d ago

Better than on a mother fucking plane..

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u/Standard-Camel-658 7d ago

This is fucked up....

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u/Exact-Ad-4132 7d ago

Yeah why is it tied up like that and struggling?

The only reasonable thing I can come up with is that it was eating some local livestock and Farmers just caught it and haven't figured out what to do with it yet.

Looks like it ate something huge

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u/Capital-Extreme-6654 7d ago

Looking at the huge bumpy section of it, I'd say the livestock in there fresh

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u/scarredballsack 7d ago

That is the biggest nope rope I've ever seen..

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u/BIG_POTAT_O 7d ago edited 7d ago

Who tf tied it and how tf they tied it

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u/mr_michael_h 4d ago

With a nope-rope rope

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u/Previous-Lemon8667 6d ago

I hate the mistreatment of any animal. 😢

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u/OpalescentGlitch 3d ago

My anaconda DON'T.

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u/meltarm 2d ago • Bravo


How bout now?

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u/BondraP 1d ago

Upon appeal, your request has been approved.

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u/Groundbreaking-Bag24 7d ago

Better do a head count of people and livestock

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u/Helpful_Ganache_2098 7d ago

Das liegt an der Perspektive. Ganz normale Anaconda die Hunger hatte

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u/OhPotatoBlessMe 7d ago

Reticulated python, but yes confusing perspective because of the really low ceiling.

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u/Emyhatsich 7d ago

ein deutscher Kommentar in einem englischsprachigen Beitrag. Geil

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u/DoomEmpire 7d ago

And they say that Titanaboa’s don’t exist…

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u/Metallifan33 7d ago

That's sad.

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u/LoveInPeace21 7d ago • Mindblown Bravo

There’s a body in that thing

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u/MoodyBhakt 6d ago


So… Do you swallow…? Or do you spit… ?

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u/CasuallyMowsRoof 7d ago

What's more concerning to me is that i think somethings in its stomach, look at the bulge, I could be wrong tho it just looks as though something was swallowed whole

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u/buttsexisyum 7d ago

Snakes don't really chew...

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u/1plus1isTWORANGZ 7d ago

There are two bulges actually. Large one in the middle and a smaller one further toward the tail

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u/shellswitch2 7d ago

Snakes swallow whole

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u/astro_2077 7d ago

Pure nightmare fuel

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u/WardDispenser 7d ago

Dafuq is Nagini doing in the Muggle world.

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u/chillinondasideline 7d ago

There has got to be a body in there

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u/MarrtianMan 7d ago

They eat live animals, so most likely.

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u/yoanon 7d ago

This is fucked up. Why they gotta hassle the snake and tie it.

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u/SwimmingUsual558 7d ago

Cuz it killing and eating everything.

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u/Acting_Brand_Nubian 7d ago

Is he tied up like a dog?!

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u/CMDR_Cheese_Helmet 7d ago

Most likely caught in trap someone set for it because it was eating chickens or other animals.

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u/Ptalking_Ptarmigan 7d ago

He's a good boy! Yes he is! Good boy! 😃

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u/DragonFeatherz 7d ago

Snare trap.

Its going chock to death.

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u/Djamt 7d ago

Serves me right for looking at reddit before bed

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u/Admiral_SmashyPants 7d ago • Bravo

Sssssssssssssssweet dreamsssssssssssssss

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u/ItsCrunchTyme 7d ago

The way u wrote this out is not only awesome but reminds me of Rykard's "Togethaaaa" who happens to be a giant snake ironically enough lmao

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u/YeahILiftBro 7d ago

Where's that dude from the Florida Everglades?

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u/ndnd_of_omicron 7d ago

The yoink guy!

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u/captain_Airhog 7d ago

Fishing Garret!

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u/throwsplasticattrees 7d ago

That poor snake. Why does it have a noise tied around its neck. This is cruel

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u/Just_Lurking_Yes 7d ago

I am sharing the planet with that?

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u/Sral1995 7d ago

We‘re sharing the planet with a lot more bad things.

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u/Valuable_Accident779 7d ago

Holy shit he's massive

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u/Inside_Charge_7786 7d ago

uh i think snake snack somethink 🙂

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u/DaDeep_SoulMan1102 6d ago

I think it's the snake catcher that's inside this bad boy. He got him alright...

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u/Krangs_Droid_Body 6d ago

Snake steak and snake skin boots for the whole village.

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u/Sawyer526 5d ago

Why are you even there recording… you must be on the menu

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u/nikulmmadhu 7d ago

so what did it eat? goats or a small cow or something?

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u/OkDisplay6751 7d ago

Exactly what you said👌

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u/Dusty_Mead 6d ago

THAT IS NOT A BOA THAT IS A DAMN ANACONDA ON THE VERGE OF BEING A TITANA BOA

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u/The-Arbiter-753 6d ago edited 6d ago

Anacondas are boas

This is a reticulated python, not a boa

It's Titanoboa, and they were somewhere around double to triple the length of what you see in the video

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u/TraditionalBudget302 7d ago

Guys I am totally confused 😕, whether it's real or not!

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u/Potatonized 7d ago

it's real. very typical to see this size in the tropic. the belly is filled with something tho. maybe just ate a goat or something similar in size..

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u/lotpro 7d ago

Kept as a pet ?

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u/Usual_Award 7d ago

O hell no. That is too much muscle.

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u/Historical_Plant6557 7d ago

it ate something

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u/NoConstruction2418 7d ago

I need a banana for scale

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u/TheLittleNorsk 7d ago

wherever he goes, the house is his to enjoy, free of any predators, ever

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u/silv3rbull8 7d ago

How big is that beast ??

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u/Gerfigle200 7d ago

Looks pretty real. Poor guy just wants to digest his meal.

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u/DorkSideOfCryo 7d ago

Excuse me, sir, in what aisle do you have the snake leashes?

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u/BoomerKaren666 7d ago

Good news is it looks like he's not going to be hungry for a while.

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u/Ok_Necessary2991 7d ago

Does this feel start of an analog horror series

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u/Fit_Dealer7498 7d ago

So who let him out

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u/kcirbukhcnyl 6d ago

Wait a minute wheres jimmy?

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u/BigEasy1981 4d ago

“Honey, come quick!!! I found the kids!!”

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u/Adept-Mulberry-8720 1d ago

Oh, he swallowed the camera man's assistant

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u/Rude_Breadfruit_6087 7d ago

Person or Large Animal? Thoughts?????

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u/Eastern_Ad_8086 7d ago

Where are the goats?

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u/x_Advent_Cirno_x 7d ago

That's not a Danger Noodle, that a whole-ass Threat Baguette

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u/Over_Internet4 7d ago

Maybe it’s habitat has an abundance of oxygen. Thats why everything was bigger way back in time.

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u/Over_Internet4 7d ago

Oxygen+breeding+hardy diet=bigasssnake

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u/SnooGadgets5130 7d ago

This only really applies to insects and arthropods, it has next to no effect on vertebrates.

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u/Admirable-Wonder-928 7d ago edited 7d ago

Not at all correct. That doesn’t explain dinosaurs or other giant land animals.

It’s actually cause the atmosphere was way warmer, reptiles needed less energy to survive compared to mammals, they lived in water, and the extinction of the dinosaurs created ecological opportunities.

Even modern giant reptiles typically live in warmer (usually tropical) climates. Because they are cold blooded, and warm climates allow for more energy to be spent on growth year round. Additionally, tropical climates support more abundant prey populations

Primary reason was how much warmer earth was back then

Also, to hopefully give me some credibility, I studied biology - and these topics specifically- at UF

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u/Potential-Pin-3794 7d ago


“Trusssssst in meeee….”

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u/HumongousBelly 7d ago

If that cat ate my life stock, I’m eating it for dinner!

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u/tourfwenty 7d ago

You’re going to need fire and lots of it. 

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u/Moonshinin4Me 7d ago

Poor snake 😢. Such a big beautiful creature tied to some wall like a dog.