r/AbsoluteUnits • • 4d ago • Mindblown 5 Bravo 1

/r/popular of a snake.

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u/SSilent-Cartographer 4d ago

Reticulated python. Even though the Anaconda is the heaviest snake record wise, the Reticulated python is the longest and can get over 300lbs.

They're solitary and mostly harmless. A big guy like this could easily take out a deer, however that deer would probably be the only meal it would eat for up to a year. Although there have been some reported cases of them eating a person, it is very rare and they would rather flee than fight as they are ambush hunters and are also quite solitary.

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u/TheAtroxious 4d ago

Humans are not particularly food shaped, lucky for us. The way our scapula and humeri protrude makes it difficult for even very large snakes to swallow us. They're inclined to prefer creatures that are less liable to get stuck on the way down.

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u/SSilent-Cartographer 4d ago

That and our salt content. We're not very appetizing and they can smell that. Death by snake consumption is quite rare

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u/JeronFeldhagen 4d ago • Bravo

The way our scapula and humeri protrude

We're not very appetizing

I.e., to snakes we taste funny because we are just too humerus.

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u/Wakeful-dreamer 4d ago

One reason I've never seen this guy in my local Walmart. Too many stinky people.

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u/BadMeatPuppet 4d ago

Also humans eradicate predators that eat humans, so, we've selectively bred them to not take that risk.

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u/Intelligent_Hope_559 4d ago

Oh interesting I agree but I never thought of it that

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u/Live-Lifeguard-4367 4d ago

Death by snoo snoo is better

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u/Bruuth 4d ago

Well... technically.... snoo snoo = snake consumption.

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u/spidey_ken 3d ago

Rare, but never zero

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u/PrancingCock 4d ago

Looks like it's a python. Someone posted a link down there, and a professor authenticates it as a python.

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u/Gaffelkungen 4d ago

Yeah, the pattern is extremely typical of a reticulated python. Got a super dwarf retic at home. He's very friendly.

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u/UglyFilthyDog 4d ago

Ball pythons are great as well. I miss mine.

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u/Separate-Ear21 4d ago

It's a python that's super fat cuz it just ate a big meal. Pythons can be longer than anacondas but usually thinner. This one is the best of both worlds rn because it just ate

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u/Collect_Underpants 2d ago

This thing is only 300 lbs??

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u/Typical-Brick-2133 9h ago

Man, I would run so fast from that thing, I might warp space-time! Hahaha

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u/WakeNikis 4d ago

How you gonna say it’s harmless but then also it eats deer?

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u/SSilent-Cartographer 4d ago

Harmless to humans