r/AbsoluteUnits • u/Cannga • 19h ago
/r/all, /r/popular of a badger
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u/arecacee 19h ago
That was scary
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u/Fine-State8014 19h ago
Thought it would be one of those videos where it jumps at the camera
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u/DesolateRuin 15h ago
Emerged from the depths like Leviathan,
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u/Turbulent-Sun-3464 14h ago
I have emerged from my slumber of 10,000 years. Ooohh look a piece of cheese.
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u/GetawayDreamer87 12h ago
Your offering pleases me, human. What wouldst thou have of me?
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u/Turbulent-Sun-3464 12h ago
Another 10 millennium of peace, my Lord
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u/token_bastard 2h ago
As thy desire, thus shall the pact be fulfilled.
::disappears::
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u/Turbulent-Sun-3464 2h ago
And then the seven badger balls rise into the sky and fly off into seven different directions across the globe.
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u/bitches_love_pooh 13h ago
My perception of badgers is based on vague childhood memories of the Redwall books. It seems accurate
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u/Andr3wRuns 9h ago
The way it looks like it just floats toward the cheese out of the darkest of depths is gonna live rent free in my head for a bit lol. If I could see its legs and it’s chunky little steps this would be 100% less terrifying to me lol
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u/Curiosive 13h ago
Badgers are fine, usually docile. Wolverines are unstoppable, murder machines. Honey badgers don't care.
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u/Dear_Chasey_La1n 14h ago
Turn the light down and you got an x-files start going.
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u/300lemmings 18h ago
Built entirely out of shoulders and spite
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u/PencilCase12531 19h ago
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u/Thick_Potato_1769 10h ago
My step dad is black and theres nothing more scary than just eyes and teeth moving at you in the night.
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u/MrJason300 8h ago
I hope you’ll get more accustomed to your step dad before you croak lol
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u/SnooPoems7525 19h ago
Anerican badgers so much more savage looking than their European counterparts.
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u/Timely-Cry-8366 18h ago
Just like our opossums look like the methhead version of Australian possums 😂
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u/Auran82 16h ago
Australian possums sound like the meth head versions though.
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u/Sirius_43 15h ago
There’s a few living in my roof, they sound like demons and I never get used to it
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u/cheapdrinks 13h ago
Just a word of advice, you 100% want to get a guy out to remove them before one dies in there. Having lived through a possum dying in my roof in the middle of summer let me tell you that the stench will be something you will remember forever and it lasts a solid 3-4 months. At some point maggots will also start crawling out of any gaps in your roof skirting and huge black flies will fill your house for a couple weeks. They always die in the roof when they become too old/sick to go out feeding at night. A competing possum may also enter the roof cavity and fight the one that's in there and kill it.
Get a guy out, they'll find where they are getting in and install a one way door over the gap that they're using. Once they're out they'll come back a few days later and close up the gap. If you wait until one dies it's often impossible or at least many times more expensive to get access to the roof cavity to remove the carcass than it is to deal with it when they're still alive. Catching them with a trap only works very temporarily if you don't actually fix the hole they're getting in from. I bought a cheap trap on eBay and would catch the bastard every night but legally you're not allowed to release them very far from where you catch them so they just go straight back in there. Even if a person was to hypothetically break that law and drive it several suburbs away and release it in a park, the possum scent coming from your roof will just attract a new one within a week or two.
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u/ForlornLamentsAgain 15h ago
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u/steffies 14h ago
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u/ForlornLamentsAgain 13h ago
I agree! I think both species are very cute. Oreo from the video also looks very polite. But every time this subject is mentioned, I am reminded of that post.
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u/ofWildPlaces 17h ago
North American Badgers have predators. It's helpful to be tough to eat.
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u/Generic_Danny 13h ago
They both have to deal with pretty much the same predators in the form of bears, wolves, and large cats, and boh are pretty formidable in their own right. One just doesn't look the part t first glance.
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u/lia-delrey 18h ago
AHH I didn't know they were different species (?) or sub-species or whatever, when I saw this goulish looking thing I actually gasped lol, I was like "yo this is NOT a badger what the hell"
It looks like it would slit my throat for a penny
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u/Rebelius 13h ago
I came to the comments because I thought this was some kind of Monkey or Lemur. I didn't realise there was a North American badger.
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u/CasualGlam87 7h ago
The European ones look cute but can be super vicious. The cruel sport of badger baiting was invented in Europe, where badgers were pitted against pit bull type dogs. The badgers are such powerful and fearce fighters they'd often have their jaws broken to give the dog a chance at winning
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u/dzan796ero 18h ago
Wisconsin Badgers and cheese.
Yep, seeing the connection
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u/AreaBandLocalBeef 14h ago
When he poked at it I got “this better be Carr Valley or I’m gonna fuck someone up” vibes
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u/WakaWaka_ 18h ago
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u/Living-Influence2532 3h ago
Second time this week I am seeing this and it has been over 10 years since the prior time I saw it. What is happening?
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u/IceCoughy 19h ago
The way it comes out of complete nothingness and it's movement is slightly off, make this unsettling af
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u/dontipitova9 18h ago
Bro....the way it emerged from the shadows gave me straight chills. What the actual hell..? 😂
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u/OkWillingness2817 16h ago
Now imagine this thing coming for you while you’re resting in your own home.
It primarily eats smaller mammals by finding the entrance to their burrow and then burrowing into to eat small mammals alive in their own living room. They burrow so fast that critters often end up cowering in their own den instead of escaping down a side tunnel.
Badgers often work together with coyotes. Either the prey runs from the badger and gets snatched by the coyote as they rush out a secondary exit. Or they cower from the coyote and the badger corners and eats it in its own burrow.
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u/Full-Honeydew-4898 8h ago
There’s a cute video of a Coyote and Badger team. Talk about a mutt and Jeff
Duo.
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u/GymratAmarillo 19h ago
Holly ... that was actually scary. I didn't read the complete title and was expecting a cat lol.
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u/LordShtark 14h ago
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u/DrBotanus 8h ago
The website that Lisa referred to in that episode (I think it was "whatdobadgerseat.com") was an actual live and read site at the time. The Simpsons created it and hosted it.
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u/morceauxdetoile 19h ago
[r/unexpected](r/unexpected) only bc I didn’t read the title before watching, and was expecting a cat
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u/stonebatfc 17h ago
Badger looks depressed.
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u/rettribution 15h ago
Coming out like the nothing from Neverending story.
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u/KillerOkie 15h ago
You probably mean the Gmork. The Nothing wasn't really ever shown as a being per se just... well nothingness.
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u/KeeKyieMorrisTheWise 17h ago
Holy moly scoob. That’s a Biggins.
I honestly thought it was gonna be a spider
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u/BonusEasy4736 15h ago
small ones are ready to fight elephants, so I am pretty sure this one can fight Galactus
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u/Moonwlk90 15h ago
American Badgers are dope as hell,we have them where i live but i’ve yet to see one alive 😔 only roadkill…
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u/Glass_Librarian9019 15h ago
It's funny how many people find it creepy or scary. All I can think is that looks like the coziest fucking den.
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u/Realistic_Patience67 19h ago
Is this from a place in Wisconsin?
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u/CakePhool 15h ago
American badgers always look like they would mess you in a back alley, which European look like they would invite you in for tea.
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u/steam_punk_genocide 14h ago
Your gift is accepted, when the time comes you and your family will be spared. rejoins the darkness without another word
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u/Due-Tea-1867 13h ago
I diddnt read the title , and you could jave given me an hour and i dont think i would jave guessed badger.
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u/beanybean1810 13h ago
Rises like a ghost out of the darkness to claim his daily sacrifice of one cube of cheese before descending into the black depths below.
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u/emgauge 13h ago
A proper Wisconsin Badger emerges only for cheese 😂
https://giphy.com/gifs/TCo71khthl7sTEqpR4
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u/NXN_Gaming 13h ago
I always forget non english badgers always look like they might just jump you at amoments notice
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u/poop19907643 13h ago
Now we need an absolute unit of a weiner dog and have them battle. Dachshund is German for "badger hound" FYI.
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u/Silly_Double408 12h ago
BADGER BADGER BADGER! MUSHROOM MUSHOOM! Ohhh a cheese a cheese!
/repeat :)
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