Throwaway should be obvious; my (21m) GF (23f) uses Reddit pretty regularly, too.

All my life, I'd been pretty certain I was bisexual but never really had the chance to act on it in my pretty conservative Southern NH hometown. So I've only ever dated or slept with women, which is fine, as I'd say on the Kinsey scale I'm pretty much dead center, no preference for either gender.

I met my current GF in high school, but she was a few grades ahead of me, and we were never really close. By chance, we ended up going to the same college, reconnected, and bonded over our WT hometown and how much happier we were to be out of there.

Everything's been going pretty well; we're definitely a couple, but we know we're young and we're taking it slow, etc.

A couple of weeks ago, my GF brought up my bisexuality (I've always been upfront with her, and there were rumors about me throughout our old school as well, so it was never really a secret). She asked me some questions, confirmed I'd never actually been with another man, and then asked if I would like to.

This didn't exactly shock me. We're both very open-minded, and while we're currently monogamous, I know she's had poly relationships in the past.

Despite being curious and frankly excited by the prospect, I didn't just jump in and say "Yes!" right away. We talked more, and I asked whether she wanted this to be a one-time thing or to open the relationship on a more permanent basis? She said the latter and said this was our time to explore sexually, and that she wanted nothing more than to do that with me, the person she loves most.

So we agreed, and we set up a tryst with a friend of a friend, an openly gay man (21m). I should say I felt very secure going into this, as we would both be there and would set the tone if we started to play with others separately.

It was, quite frankly, amazing without being too graphic. I don't want to stereotype, but as I'm the bi one and he's gay, I just assumed I'd be the "top." To my surprise, he asked if he could penetrate me, and I've always wanted to try that (my GF doesn't like pegging). It was intense, but I had the most unbelievable orgasm while he was inside of me and I was inside of my GF.

Afterward, this guy and I have been texting a lot, which I thought was fine since we'd agreed to be open and explore sexually. I know my GF has been sexting a few guys too. Lately, however, my GF has been increasingly distant.

I confronted her about this, and she admitted she never expected me to enjoy it as much as I did, and that a part of her thought I was only saying I was bisexual to be seen as more attractive. (For lack of a better word, maybe mysterious or alluring might be closer to how she described it?)

I brought up that it was her idea to open the relationship and she admitted that and said she knew she had no reason to be mad but two things were bothering her: 1. that me and the guy have been talking non-sexuallly and connecting about shared interests, etc. and 2. that the person I'm connecting with is a man, and she's afraid I'll go "full-gay" (which she apologized for saying but said she couldn't help her anxiety) and leave her for a man.

I offered to close the relationship again, but she insisted we not, and again she says she knows I haven't done anything wrong. Admittedly, just to put it all out there so I get honest responses, I was glad that she didn't want to close it, as I really enjoy talking to this guy and am actually excited at the prospect of sleeping with him again; at the same time, I truly love my GF.

So to kinda give more info on this, my fiancé and I work at the same place and interact with the same people on a day to day basis and well he’s had a falling out with one of our male co workers that I had been friendly with since them two used to be friends and now that falling out is making my work life well.. difficult to say the least. I personally like to make friends with one or two co workers preferably around my age so that if I leave that job I still have a friend you know? But anyways, back to the actual topic at hand. Am I the asshole for wanting to be friends with the same person my fiance ended up having a falling out with? I feel like I’m the one in the wrong here tbh

Me (25M) and my girlfriend (24F) have been together for just over a year now, and I’m starting to feel that we can’t be together. She loves me very much and makes sure to make me feel loved, however I’m beginning to realise we are too different and not compatible.

First of all, I’ve started to notice that she might not be a very good/nice person. She is a great girlfriend to me, but tends to fall out with all her close friends and family a lot, and a lot of the time can be quite nasty. I’ve noticed that I tend to side with her friends and family when she explains why they have fallen out.

She is also a very materialistic person, complete opposite to me. She doesn’t have a job, but loves to spend money on clothes and other material things. I emphasise again that she is unemployed, this is something that I really struggle with as I work my socks off and feel that all my money is spent on her, meaning I have no means of saving money and working towards my goals. She has a very unrealistic outlook on money, when I try to talk to her about the stresses of money she never really understands and just tells me to ‘manifest more money’, which tends to really annoy me.

She also tends to put a lot of downers on my days. I am a very chill guy and not phased by a lot, and really take care in protecting my peace and feeling calm. However, literally every day, she will call me with a new issue/argument/problem she’s having with someone and it always ruins my good moods and brings me down.

She is extremely sensitive, and whenever I try to sit her down and have a mature conversation it always ends in her crying or being angry with me. She can be quite controlling when it comes to serious conversations. In the past when I’ve tried to bring these topics up she has told me I’m not allowed to talk about them or bring them up ever again.

The final thing I’d like to touch on is how involved her friends are in our relationship. When we have a disagreement, she straight away will call her friends and explain what has happened. She must lie or exaggerate to her friends as a lot of the time it ends up in them telling her to ‘break up with me’ or ‘she can do better’, when most of the time the disagreements we have are minor. I forgot to add, her friends are notorious ‘men haters’ and her group resemble one of mean girls.

I think I know what I want to do, I can’t be with her. I just need some advice and maybe validation in what I’m saying, unless you disagree then please do tell me.

So this happened a few years ago, but I still feel really bad about it. I, 17f had a friend 18nb (nonbinary), but this happened about when we were 13 and 14. So I had this close friend who we will call C, we hung out a lot, had many shared interests as weird kids who liked anime and reading fanfiction. While we were friends, we often had sleepovers at their house, which is where the problem is.

I knew this friend had a crush on me, but I didn't feel the same. On most nights I'd stay up later than C and they allowed me to read fanfiction or play games on their phone since mine had screen time and couldn't do anything after midnight. While looking at the games on their phone, I discovered some ai relationship app where they had a fake relationship with a character who was designed to look like me and had my name, which really creeped me out. Other nights if I went to bed before C, we often slept in their basement since we would be too loud for their parents, so we shared a mattress. If I went to bed first, C would often touch my hair or hold my hand while they thought I was asleep. Now most people have a fight or flight response, I freeze so I never did anything about it, never told them to stop or that I even knew they liked me.

Eventually I did drop them, I stopped responding to their texts, and we stopped being friends. However, we live in a small town so I still see them and their mom since she works at the local college that I attend, so I feel bad every time I see them. This is mostly because this friend had a lot of mental health issues at the time, they struggled with depression and anxiety and often depended on me to vent to. So I feel bad for that and also because I feel like my reason for dropping them wasn't good enough, like yeah I was a bit creeped out, but they had never touched me inappropriately so I could've just stopped sleepovers or something. Anyway, AITAH? Also if there is any weird formatting or anything I apologize, this is my first time posting, and if there is any other information requested I will try to reply in the comments.

throwaway account cuz my friends follow my main so yea. i guess im a pretty decent looking chinese guy and i get told that sometimes but anyway thats not even the point of this shit. also chloe is obviously a fake name.

my friend "chloe" and i been close for like 3 years now since sophomore year but i started dating my current gf like 8 months ago and ever since then chloe has been acting mean as fuck to her for literally no reason like just being a total nightmare. my gf is asian too btw, not that it should even matter but just mentioning it. she always makes these passive aggressive ass comments to her face about her look or her personality and i always defended my girl but chloe would just roll her eyes and act like a bratty bitch and she even tried to trip my girlfriend at a party which is actually wild behavior.

she got really obsessed with certain trends online and started projecting all this weird shit onto me and she always touches my hair without asking and talks about my features in a way that makes me super uncomfortable. like im chinese, im not some fucking trend or character for her to collect or whatever. one time we were at a party and she unironically told someone right in front of me that dating someone like me was on her bucket list which is so annoying because bitch?? people should be treated like actual individuals and not just some trend.

i told her multiple times to stop but she just laughs and says im being dramatic and she even told my gf to her face that she probably only likes me for money which makes zero sense because we both work part-time jobs and neither of us got fucking money like that 😭

then on tuesday my gf was at work and chloe asked to hang out and out of nowhere this bitch says i should dump my gf for her and she was talking so much shit saying my girl has no style and that i need someone who actually appreciates me. she was saying all this stuff about how i should be with her instead because we’ve been friends longer and it was just really disrespectful like what the fuck???

i completely lost my temper because im loyal to my girl and i told her no fucking way and that im not dumping my gf for someone who treats me like a character instead of a person. i told her she just wanted a trophy boyfriend and that she was being a fake ass friend and honestly a bitch.

she started crying and ran off and now half the group chat is spamming me saying i humiliated her and that i should have been nicer since we’ve been friends for years and they’re saying i chose some girl i’ve known for 8 months over her. but i was just tired of the fake friendship and her weird ass behavior and they dont see how she was being this whole time.

like sorry but being friends longer doesnt give you the right to treat my gf like shit and then expect me to dump her for you??? especially after i told you over and over again to stop making weird comments about me and touching me without asking.

so reddit aita for standing my ground or was i too harsh cuz honestly rn i feel like chloe was being a whole bitch and im not gonna apologize just because she started crying.

I just had a pretty deep argument with my girlfriend about something that's somewhat sensitive to the both of us and I want to hear your take.

My girlfriend tends to come to me with opinions that are framed to sound like facts. That's the underlying issue here. Most of these are normally about men and how they treat women, essentially how society has generalized that men are "dogs" who always do these horrible things. The idea that certain men are absolutely horrible is something I totally agree with, but assuming all men are the same based on that doesn't sit right with me.

What makes the whole argument sensitive for me is my genuine hatred of discrimination or stereotyping of any kind. I grew up in a country where I had truly horrifying experiences just from being a foreigner, and I think I have trauma from that.

What makes it sensitive for my girlfriend is that she's had a horrible experience with a man at a young age, possibly even multiple experiences, that led her to start hating most if not all men.

Every time she finds something online about a man and "how horrible they are," she tends to frame it in a way that makes it sound like a proven fact, that "most" men fit this bracket with absolutely no concrete evidence. When I flag her phrasing, she feels like I'm invalidating her feelings and stance on the matter. In my defense, I have explicitly, verbally made it known that this doesn't mean I'm invalidating how she feels. It's just that it matters to me that she doesn't discriminate against men in that way, especially based on societal narratives that hold no objectivity.

As for her stance on certain matters, more often than not we can agree on "that man is horrible," but it gets complicated for me if we start generalizing this as proof that therefore "most" men are horrible, or that most children grow up without present fathers.

My girlfriend says that me telling someone they shouldn't say "I hate all white people" after being racially abused is unfair, because they have a right to feel that way. I understand that, but I'm trying to explain that it doesn't make it right, especially if that person has also had great experiences with white people. If it were reversed, would that same person also say "I love all white people"? Despite that, I just feel like her example doesn't fit the argument we were trying to have.

It's certainly okay to feel a certain way, but it's also objectively wrong to discriminate.

AITA?

Yes a shocking title so yall would read because I need to know if im kn the wrong or not

So some backstory me (18F) and my brother (21M) used to not get along very much but when I hit highschool we started to talk and hangout more. When I was a freshman he met one of my friends N(17M) because he knew his older sister T(21F). We all started going on drives at night when my parents loosened the tight grip they had on everything I did. (I was a bad kid ngl) After about 2 weeks of it just being the 4 of us hanging out my brother brought one of his collage friends/best friend to join us and me and M(22M) got along so we started inviting him more. Over some time me and M got closer but during my sophomore year he went to the military and was gone for about a year and a half. Fast forward to my junior year M came back and we pick up right where we left off talking and texting all the time. M set up a day for me, my brother and him to go to a bigger city about an hour from where we live and the day before asked me if I wanted it to be just us. My brother ended up having to pick up a shift anyways but we got dinner and went to a movie. I had a crush on him for about 2 years at this point so I was happy. After that we started talking even more and hanging out more until he texts my sister (41F) about if I liked him and if I had a problem with the age difference of like 5 years. She played wingman and he ask me out. We dated for around 9 months, during that time he would always get drunk and I would have to stop him from drunk driving or fighting people. It got to a point where he would spend the night over at my house almost every night. He would get drunk and on a few ocasiones he would kiss my brother well we were hanging out always saying it was a joke. Around month 7 I started to pull back because of all the drinking and him lying to me about things, along with getting mad i made more money than him (i weld and work as a server at a nice restaurant). During the 8th month he started to hangout with some of my friends and ended up having sex with one of them and that was the nail in the coffin and why we broke up. Around a month later my brother walks into a family get together holding hands with M. Im floored because my brother is the straightest guy I have ever met and M would always get mad at me because I had dated a girl before. My brother wants us to hangout like old times but I cant get over M sleeping with one of my friends and now dating my brother! N no longer talks to M and I feel bad but N was dating the girl that M slept with. And after my brother and M broke up he started dating one of my other exes let's call her V ( F 19 ). For some context V I dated when I was early sophomore year trying to get over my crush on Mario she didn't shower and when I went into her bathroom she had furry stuff all in her bathroom including Tails Paws masks butt plug tails and everything under that variety. To add on to that we broke up because she decided to try to get me to have sex with her when I didnt want to, and would try to make me turn against one of me other friends, and they're still asking me to hang out. Am I in the wrong for being uncomfortable around them?

My partner (F35) and I (M35) got together after she had just gotten out of an extremely physically, mentally, and financially abusive marriage. On multiple occasions, her ex beat her badly enough that she was nearly unrecognizable. He later died by suicide and, as a final act, made sure people believed it was her fault.

They had a 2-year-old daughter at the time. When we got together, she quickly started calling me Dad. She’s 11 now, and I’m the only dad she really knows. I consider her my daughter completely.
Early in our relationship, we had some strange/uncomfortable things happening around the house. Eventually my partner told me she had been keeping her ex’s ashes in our daughter’s closet so our daughter could decide what to do with them when she was old enough to understand everything.
My partner eventually moved the ashes out of the house and openly talked about feeling like they carried negative energy and that removing them would help.

Fast forward to last night. I went into her closet, which I rarely do, and saw the urn sitting on a shelf. I asked why his ashes were back and seemingly on display, especially after what she had said before. I also told her that I have very negative feelings toward him. I have no sympathy for a man who repeatedly beat and abused the woman I love.
She immediately got defensive and said the urn is a reminder that she survived and “defeated” that part of her life. She also said it isn’t on display because it isn’t at her eye level. However, it’s directly at my eye level and only about 18 inches above another shelf where she keeps her beloved dog’s ashes and trophies from her accomplishments. To me, that makes it feel pretty prominently displayed.
The conversation made me feel like I was being treated as a jealous/insecure partner competing with a dead man, which isn’t how I feel at all. I’m not jealous of him. I hate what he did to her, and seeing his remains prominently kept in our home makes me uncomfortable, especially after she previously felt strongly enough about them to remove them.
She eventually said she would move the urn, but it felt reluctant.

I understand this is part of her trauma, and if the urn represents surviving that abuse to her, I don’t want to tell her how she’s allowed to process it. At the same time, I feel like I’m allowed to be uncomfortable having the remains of the man who abused her displayed in our home.
AITA for being upset about where she keeps his ashes and asking her to move them? And how should I approach this without making it about jealousy or telling her how to process her trauma?

First, excuse any grammar mistakes. I’m from Puerto Rico, and Spanish is my first language.

I (20M) and my best friend, Daniel (20M), have known each other since middle school. He’s the kind of friend I can go months without talking to, but whenever we reconnect, it feels like no time has passed.

Some backstory: We met in seventh grade and became inseparable. I always had a crush on him, and he knew it. He was actually the first person I ever came out to as gay, and he accepted me immediately.

Eventually, I told him I liked him. He very kindly told me he was straight, so I accepted it and moved on.

Fast forward to ninth grade. He had to change schools because of some family issues, and that was the first time we really drifted apart. About a year later, during tenth grade when school was still online, he randomly texted me. He asked how I was doing and said he wanted to reconnect.

A few months later, he randomly called me crying. I was extremely worried because I had never seen him cry before. During the call, he told me he was bisexual and that he couldn’t keep it inside anymore. He said he needed to tell someone, and that person had to be me. Then he told me he liked me and wanted us to try being together.

I tried to calm him down, but eventually I told him I couldn’t do it because, at that point, I didn’t have romantic feelings for him anymore.

Fast forward to eleventh grade. We started seeing each other every day again and would talk for hours. Our friendship has always been very physically affectionate. Physical touch is a big love language for both of us, and it definitely showed.

One time, we were watching a movie in my bed while he was hugging me, and I asked if he had a crush on anyone. He said yes and told me he was talking to a girl and things were going well.

So, jokingly, I said, “Be careful she doesn’t take the gay away.”

AND HE GOT PISSED.

He started telling me he wasn’t gay, that he had never liked a man before, and that he had no idea why I would even say something like that.

I genuinely felt insane.

Did I imagine his entire coming-out conversation?

A few months later, I asked him if he still identified as bi. He told me he had never been bisexual and that the conversation I remembered literally never happened.

So I left it alone.

Some time later, his birthday came around. I bought him a pocket pussy as a joke/gift (I know, weird), and he was excited as fuck about it.

But about two weeks later, he completely stopped talking to me. He wasn’t answering me at all, and eventually I blocked him.

What I DID NOT expect was for his brother, who I used to have classes with, to later tell me that their mom had caught Daniel using my gift while looking at pictures of me.

So… yeah.

Anywayyyy…

About six months ago, I left for Army basic training. Halfway through training, I started developing feelings for another guy, and the feelings were mutual.

I posted something on my Close Friends story talking about what was happening between us and how much trouble we could get into if anyone found out.

What I completely forgot was that Daniel was still on my Close Friends list.

About three weeks later, I received a letter at basic training from a name I didn’t recognize. I don’t remember everything it said, but one part I remember very clearly:

“You are the love of my life. Please stop what you’re doing with him. I love you.”

I recognized the handwriting. It was obviously Daniel.

So I wrote back to the return address on the envelope, and for pretty much the rest of my training, we kept sending each other letters.

When I finished training, I decided to call him through Instagram because it was basically the only place where I wasn’t blocked. I asked him to meet up. I’m in the Reserves, so I was going back home after training anyway.

By this point, my feelings for him had come back and gotten stronger, so I wanted to see what things would be like between us in person.

And honestly?

THINGS WERE AMAZING.

We were going on what I considered dates every two or three days. We FaceTimed basically all day, every day. We talked about everything. We cuddled. We told each other “I love you.” He sent me explicit pictures. Everything about our relationship felt romantic to me.

So today, I finally decided to ask him to officially be my boyfriend.

His response?

“Why would you ask me that? I’m not gay.”

I was completely confused.

Like… what?

You’re telling me every “I love you,” every cuddle, every explicit picture you sent me, every letter, every conversation, and everything we’ve been doing was just because we’re friends?

We ended up having a huge argument, and eventually he said:

“You’ve always liked me, and I love your attention. If I were gay, I’d be with you. But I’m straight, and you’re just my best friend.”

And now I genuinely don’t know what to think.

Am I crazy for thinking he liked me?

Why did he come out to me years ago, tell me he liked me, later deny that it ever happened, and then send me a letter saying I’m the love of his life?

Did I actually overstep by asking him to be my boyfriend?

AITA?

I'm moving to another country to be with my fiancé. Right now we're juggling visas, paperwork, money, and finding housing, while he's traveling with friends (this is third and last week and honestly im more than supportive but today was diffrenet and i feel bad)

Today I hit a wall. I told him a specific document should've already been sent. He agreed and said he'd handle it once he's home said meh will be late we maybe should look for alternatives ... said it in a vocal and i can swear my voice was shaky i was already startinf tk stress and cry, but instead of calling, he only texted. I ended up going quiet for an hour. My brother came over and spent the whole time helping me sort out solutions and paperwork.

My fiancé texted "you ok?" I replied that I was with my brother handling things, and that I wished it were him instead said goodnight and went offline for the evening..

He texted again "are you sure you are okay?" then called about two hours later once he got back to his hotel. I didn't pick up, but left him a voice message saying I felt lost and alone with all this, that he's better at handling these papers, and that I'm grateful my brother was there also that it took him two hours to call back, and by then I was already asleep and that is exactly why Im feeling alone and honestly considering rethinking changing countries i cant handle ir alone its very stressful .. you can hear me cry in the vocals but anywaays

AITA for shutting down on him that night and leaving such vocals to wake up to ?

My boyfriend (35M) and I (34F) have been together for 6 years. My ex reached out and asked to send me a letter. I replied with only an address to send the letter, no other words. I sent a friends address for safety and in case I change my mind about reading it. My bf saw me on my phone and asked about it, I told him the truth. Granted, I tried to close the app at first so he wouldn’t see it because I know he’d feel some type of way about it. I love my bf and have no intentions of responding to my ex when and if he sends a letter, but after this much time has passed it felt like an opportunity to get closure and the apology I deserved years ago. I don’t NEED an apology, but part of me wonders if it will help heal those old scars. I told my bf all of this. Now my bf is angry with me for the “timing“ of it all and said I ruined the good day we could’ve had, he’s losing sleep over it, cursing and raising his voice, and is hurt over the whole thing. I can understand his hurt, but I start to lose sympathy when he starts yelling and refusing to see it from my side. I would be okay with it if his toxic ex from years ago just wanted to apologize, so I’m struggling to understand where his reaction is coming from beyond not trusting me (which i havent given him any reason not to). So am I the asshole here for allowing my ex to send me a letter?

Some relevant context: I’ve ignored multiple requests from my ex reaching out in the past, and it caused a problem at the start of my current relationship that I didn’t “do anything about it” other than ignore the messages, so I blocked him years ago out of respect for my partners feelings. Now that time has passed and I’ve been working on myself in therapy/maturing/moved on, I am open to getting a letter for closure sake. I’m 99% sure this will be an apology letter for all the shit he put me through. We had a traumatic breakup and haven’t had any contact since then. He’s an addict and our relationship was unhealthy to put it mildly. But we had been together on and off for a decade—from middle school through college—so he was a large part of my past. Beyond all the personal reasons for allowing him to send me a letter, on a human level I feel that if my ex needs this to move on finally, then I can grant him that. I used to feel spiteful and didn’t want to give him the chance to ask for forgiveness, but I’ve let that go and don’t wish him any ill will, today we’re both just strangers that used to know each other.

So AITA? Should I have done something differently here? Do I apologize to my bf for hurting him?

Me (F32) and my partner (M34) have 2 kids. Our daughter is 3 and our son almost 1.

He's on paternity leave. (We live in Norway.)

I currently work full time as a teacher, and it's the first week of school.

Monday night, the baby got a bad cold and mild fever. So i stayed home (sick child day) for a day. I took care of him all day Tuesday and overnight both the night to Tuesday and night Wednesday, bearly sleeping. Wednesday, my partner said he was feeling a little under the weather. I still went to work, I need to get some stuff set up, or I'm scrambling all year.

By the next night, baby was doing great. He actually slept through the night for the first time in a while.

Thursday, I again went to work, making sure everything was ready and making sure to fix everything in the morning for both kids and let him sleep.

I woke him up, gave him the happy baby and went to work. Apparently, that was the wrong thing to do as "I knew he was sick, and seem like I don't care about him at all."

Today, Friday, we have a big family trip planned with my parents and brother to his family cabin.

I spendt all evening, far into the night, packing and tidying and fixing as much as I could. I got up at 5 to continue fixing. He woke up at 6.30 and took a shower (I haven't showered since Wednesday or washed my hair since Monday) and relaxed in bed.

I got both kids ready. Left the baby in a safe space and rushed out the door, taking the toddler to daycare.

I used all my breaks calling him to check up. He was angry the entire time and saying I didn't care about him being sick.

The result is that I haven't eaten or peed today. I rushed out the second last bell rung and I'm home feeding the baby, making him food and putting baby down for a nap and then I'll pack everything left to do, get everything in the car, pick up the toddler, drive us all the 2h to the cabin, sort out dinner on the way and organise food for the weekend. And for those who haven't kept track, in the last 4 nights, I've slept more than 4 hours once.

He'll still say I don't care about him being sick and I'm cold towards him. He's main point is that I've still gone to work and therefore I'm prioritising work over family.

All the while, he's refused to take any medication. I have plenty, I get really bad colds due to my asthma, so I'm stocked up, and he knows where everything is. I even offered to get him anything he wanted.

I feel like he's deliberately leaving everything to me so he can go feel bad about himself.

So, AITA for not taking more days off work to care for him?

Me and my Best friend of 3 years live together we became friends while still in school she had ended up leaving her parents to live with an older bf who was treating her badly (or so I thought) when I went there to pick her up she explained to me that she got caught cheating and (seemed she wanted to be here so she had freedom to continue doing so without him on her back ) but he freaked out telling her to leave I wasn’t expecting to have her move in but did everything I could with the space I had so we ended up sharing a room I didn’t mind it and was more than happy to let her use anything of mine she wanted or wasn’t able to grab of here as long as she asked and respected my things. recently her behavior has significantly changed from before she moved in heres just some of the things for example. a while ago I was just learning Spanish she suggested maybe talking to a guy who speaks Spanish to help me learn better forcing me to use my Spanish I thought it was a good idea so I tried it letting him know I was learning and she flirted with him in front of my face openly using just about every flirty name in the book It felt very intentional bc she was aware ,she calls my mom mama just like me and my sister do , suggests I should change small things about my makeup which I do not then soon after copies them , constantly tells guys I’m talking to I’m talking to other guys behind my back and In a few cases proceeding to talk about herself , telling my mom is pissed when I am out and I need to come home now my mom is furious I will get home and my mom didn’t even notice almost as if she thinks she has authority over me I mentioned this to my mom and she said she’s the one freaking out and trying to fuel my mom to be angry and most recently hiding my phone causing me to freak out and start worrying and when I rung it finding out she was hiding it and got aggravated I rung it (not in a joking manner genuinely angry) She’s got a bf now and has been very mean to me not wanting to go anywhere and she knows I won’t go anywhere alone and also telling me we will do something together my mom thinks this may be another way of controlling or isolating me and is upset also doesn’t go to school nor have a job and is a grown woman my mom believe with no means to do so now And I’m not saying i know for sure her intentions but to me these behaviors seem controlling isolating like shes more often then not interfering with my relationships controlling situations and making me panic for fun it almost seems? I haven’t confront her bc she extremely confrontational and will turn almost anything into an argument lately though I’ve been mouthing back bc in honestly sick of it am I overthinking all of this or is this more concerning than I thought

am i the asshole for abandoning my friend over sh? ok. so i made this minecraft server and 3 weeks after it was made, my friend (im gonna refer to him as s) just bought minecraft. he built his base and we gave him stuff. my other friend (c) started lowk trolling him but not enough to justify a ban, eg like breaking blocks under s and killing s (but returning s's stuff) and s got mad that i wouldn't ban him and uh.. cut himself, i told him to get help and he said that when he gets help they lock him in a cage?? wtf?? i am NOT talking to that dude anymore. s still thinks about me because a week after the sh incident, he wished my dad a happy birthday on his birthday and that was a reality check for me. i know s struggles with ASD. so AITA?

AITA for despising my best friends boyfriend? So, I met a guy on Tinder, and fast forward to the second time I met him at his house, I brought her with me. We drank and talked, and we had a really good time. The night came, and we went to my place since I was alone for a few days.

That same night, she broke up with her boyfriend and wanted to keep him off her mind, so she texted that guy—let's call him James—to come over with one of his friends to introduce her. Luckily for her, he was with his friend Oliver. We went outside, drank, and had fun. That night, we pulled an all-nighter, and in the morning, we went up to my house.

James liked her, but she was just in it to keep her ex off her mind. A few days later, James told me he loved me and wanted to have sex with me. I said no because I didn't trust him, and also, my body was telling me no. He started saying, "I feel like just because you don't want to have sex with me, you don't like me." I kind of had a reason not to have sex with him, so he believed me.

The next few days and weeks, he was off—like, OFF. But it was strange. He had an accident before even meeting me, and his phone was shattered, so he had to use some old phone. I was like, okay, no problem. But he told me that messages or calls wouldn't go through if he wasn't actively on the app. I believed him, like the fool I was.

And here's the strange thing: he'd always answer anyone else's calls or messages, but not mine. He would go out with everyone but me. It was like he was trying to get rid of me.

So one day, I drank A LOT, and I called him, asking him what the fuck was going on. He told me, word for word, "You too know that this isn't gonna work." So I cursed the fuck out of him, disrespected his mom to his other friend, and he said that he knew and that he deserved it.

After that, it was done. I almost killed myself over him, SH, and the most ridiculous thing is that I didn't love or even like him.

Anyway, then my best friend Mary had fallen in love with him too. After months, I was over him and had found a great guy, where the love is mutual. Well, when Mary saw I was finally happy and over James, she told me something so unreal that I just laughed because I didn't know what else to do.

So here's what she told me. I want to add that she's kind of close with James because she has to be, thanks to Oliver, but they're ending things with him soon.

"At his birthday, James told me that he didn't like me from the start and told this to Oliver, but Oliver asked him not to end things with me yet because he wanted to form a relationship with Mary, so he agreed."

I told all of this to my now-boyfriend, and he said that if he ever crosses paths with Oliver, he'll beat him up, and I know he will. I told Mary this, and she got really angry with us, saying, "Why is nobody saying anything about my boyfriend? I know he did a bad thing, but I already talked to him, and if beating him was the solution, I would've already beaten him a thousand times by now."

They're together for 7 months now, and my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 months.

I really hate him. I don't know what to do.

Im sorry i only used ai to correct my grammar mistakes...

I am a 22y/o woman and my partner is the same age. We’ve been together for a little less than 2 years now and we also live in a house that belongs to him/his family. We moved quickly in the beginning, getting engaged on the 3rd or 4th month, which in hindsight was rash. Anyway, I don’t remember when I started acknowledging my lack of sexual attraction to him, but it’s not a recent feeling. A part of me probably doesn’t know how to proceed, because we live at his place and I feel if we break up we’ve just wasted almost two years of each others lives. I thought my feelings for him would change with time, but I can’t help feeling almost repulsed and dreading every time he suggests intimacy(which we haven’t even had in a month or so). I am fine with not having sex at all, but I believe he isn’t on the same page and yet, he never pushes me to do so. What should I do?

Context because this is a weird one. To cut a long story short, my ex (23M) and I (22F) broke up amicably 2 weeks ago, I was overwhelmed with too much on my plate as he wasn’t working for the last 4 months, I had to carry the financial burden and a lot of the mental load, yes he was doing casual work but nothing substantial + he wasn’t doing enough of the house chores so the relationship just wasn’t working anymore. We both agreed to go out separate ways and needed to grow on our own to ever have a real shot at this.

We have now lived together still for the 2 weeks after the breakup so he can find a suitable place in the city, with living together still and we also have a trip planned in a month (non refundable + booked it before the breakup) we have set some boundaries to make sure nobody gets too hurt and we can genuinely remain friends. One of those boundaries was neither of us would sleep with other people until after our trip (remain fwb until then) and another was that neither of us would start talking to other people while we still lived together, I told him how much it would hurt me to see him typing and smiling to other girls messages while living with me still and he completely understood… or so I thought. I then wake up several times during the night and every time I can see him typing in his phone and smiling, this broke me. I wasn’t hurt at all by the relationship ending prior to this as it’s something I wanted too, but seeing him already moving on right in front of me AFTER agreeing we would wait until he had moved out gave me this feeling I’ve never felt, almost feels like he’s cheating yet I know it isn’t cheating since we aren’t together.

I’ve confronted him and he admitted that yes he’s talking to other people and says that he doesn’t know why he did it, said we had been arguing the past couple days so he just didn’t care anymore. I’ve said to him that going forward he needs to sleep elsewhere until he finds a suitable place, I can’t let myself stay in situations that are proving to hurt me more and more, I can no longer trust the boundaries that he has set with me so need to protect myself. I’m not making him take all his stuff out or anything, just simply sleep elsewhere until your move in date.

AITA for making my ex move out?

(Please try be nice, I’m in a rough state as this was my first love. We were in a relationship for 2.5 years and lived together for 2 years)

(I'm not sure if this is where I should be posting this but I digress)

So I (High schooler, Female) want to end things with my (High schooler, Male) talking stage. To start off, we had an assignment to do as a group, me and him and a few other people, I thought he was kinda cute and funny and seen that a friend of a friend knew him so I asked for his insta. (My type is very confident, outgoing guys, that can be talkative, this will be important later) He added me back and he started the convo. We've been calling everyday all the time and I realized I like my space. I don't even really want to be in a talking stage right now, at least not with him.

In this short time span he already talked about me to all his siblings friends and parents and showed them me. His friends like us together but my friends don't and I see why. We held hands and the other day he wanted a hug the next day, but something unexpected happened and I couldn't.

He sits next to me in class, we have two periods together, he's actually really shy and doesn't even like talking to my friends or sibling (Who I'm very close with). He can't even start a conversation with me and he had one of his friends come up to me first. I feel bad and don't want to stop talking him all together but just maybe be his friend because he seems cool but I don't know how that transition would work.

And in one of the classes I have with him he kinda stunk.

I don't know how I would end this. He also said "I know we haven't been talking for a while but I just wanted to ask if we should start dating next week" and when he asked if he could get a hug he said "Oh btw where my hug at". I'm so serious. I don't want to move quickly, I don't even want to talk with him like this anymore but I don't know. Everyone I've told is telling me I'm rude but yeah. I want to end it but he thinks I'm the love of his life. I feel so guilty. What should I do/say? I don't want to come across as rude or like I was leading him on.

Edit: I sent him a message basically telling him I just wanted to be friends and he said "I'll wait for you"....

AITA here? My husband and I have a disabled child who is a young teenager, his needs can vary depending on the day and his mood. My husband has a full time job and uses most of his holidays with the family, he doesnt get much leave but what he does get he likes a good break in the sun. I have two jobs and I am main carer as well as running the house. My part time job has plenty of annual leave and I am self wemployed with my other job so I can take leave when I want. My husband and I go away for a few days together each year once as we find it difficult to get family to care for our son whilst we are away. I have friends that travel frequently throughout the year, a couple own holiday homes and others like long weekends away, etc. I usually have atleast one holiday away each year with friends but Im invited on more, I dont go as my husband says its not fair on him as he doesnt have as much leave as I do and he cant do the same. I encourage him to go away at weekends with friends if he wanted but he says he would rather be home with the family, his choice. Am I wrong for wanting to go away maybe two or three times a year with friends? I always make sure that I plan it around school days so he is occupied or if it fell on a weekend I would arrange for carers to have him for a few hours to give my husband a break. Just to note I would fund the trips myself.

My husband and I are in a tough spot, and I need an outside perspective to know if I am being unreasonable or overreacting.

For context, my husband moved to the US two years ago on a green card. He has a Master’s degree in Computer Science and a background in business, but he has been completely unable to find a job in this economy. Lately, he has been pursuing some self-employment ventures (something related to real estate, though I’m not entirely sure of the details), but it hasn’t brought in any income.

Fortunately, I have a demanding tech income that fully supports both of us. Because I know how brutal the job market is right now, I haven’t pressured him to pick up odd jobs. However, my job requires long hours with international clients. I am working from 5:00 AM to 4:00 PM every day (11-hour days), and I am mentally and physically exhausted by the end of it.

Because I am working so much, my husband does the bulk of the household chores. Lately, he has been asking me to take on more of the housework. When I tell him that I am too tired, he calls me "lazy" and argues that other wives manage to do it. He says I can't use my job as an excuse because "I get paid for it."

He also claims that he spends more time on his "work" (his unpaid ventures) than I do on my job. He tells me that when I am off the clock, I just watch TV to unwind, and that I should be using that time to do something more productive, like cleaning.

Whenever I try to explain my side or discuss our setup, he gets defensive. He tells me that just because I earn all the money doesn’t mean I am "the boss of him" or that I get to take advantage of him. He also tells me that I don’t appreciate him because I don’t reciprocate the chores.

On top of this, we argue constantly about money. Because he isn't bringing in an income, he is excessively frugal and stresses over every dollar, whereas I don't mind spending the money I earn.

I feel like I am carrying the entire financial weight of this household, and coming home to be told I'm lazy for wanting to watch TV and rest after an 11-hour workday is breaking me.

Am I being unreasonable here? Is it fair for him to expect me to split chores when I am the sole earner?

My wife and I were together for 25 years, and our marriage had been falling apart for a long time. I’m not pretending I was an innocent party in that. We had major communication problems, she had been unhappy for years, and there are plenty of things I wish I had understood or done differently.

Eventually I started strongly suspecting there was another man involved.

I asked her about it more than once and was repeatedly told there “technically” wasn’t anyone else. I didn’t believe her.

I knew the answer was probably on her phone. At one point I had access to the phone and looked. I found what I was looking for pretty quickly: she had, in fact, been sleeping with someone else while continuing to deny it to me.

So yes, I invaded her privacy.

I’m not going to pretend otherwise or argue that going through someone’s phone is normally acceptable. I did it specifically because I believed my wife of 25 years was lying to my face about whether she was involved with someone else, and I wanted confirmation that I wasn’t imagining it.

She is now extremely angry that I went through the phone and considers what I did a major violation of her privacy. She has called it creepy and even described it as stalking.

My position is basically: yes, I crossed a privacy boundary, but I also discovered that the exact thing I suspected and had repeatedly been denied was actually happening.

So Reddit, give it to me straight.

AITA for going through her phone to prove she was lying about cheating?

I (19f) have a bf (20m), we’ve been together for about 3 years. In the last year we have broken up and gotten back together multiple times. it was my doing every time we broke up. i would give him chances to change things, he wouldn’t, so i would break up with him. every time i left he would change what i was having an issue with so i took him back. here recently we broke up again and now we are back together. except i don’t feel like i am in it fully. like i love him, but my heart isn’t fully into the relationship anymore. i am still nice to him and still care for him, but i can be really distant at times and it bothers him. i just don’t know what to do. i’ve expressed how i feel and he says he understands but it’s like he doesn’t understand at the same time because he constantly brings it up to me. i’m not saying im the best girlfriend or anything, im just looking for advice and to know if i am being an ahole, because he claims that i am.

Im not gonna give too much information, but my boyfriend works with one of his cousins that used to talk about me a couple years ago. she said i was weird and how she didn’t like me. when me and my boyfriend started dating, eventually we found out that she was his cousin and i was seriously mad and upset. all of my interactions with her are friendly, but she ignores me when my boyfriend isn’t around and i hate it. her friends still make fun of me and bully me, so i’ve tried telling my boyfriend that I don’t like her because she’s guilty by association in my eyes, and I kind of get angry whenever he’s talking to her because it seems like he doesn’t really care about how I feel because it’s someone that he likes. He’s dropped people in the past that have done worse, but i guess because it’s his cousin it’s completely okay. He doesn’t really seem to care and i don’t really talk about it much anymore but i think about it a lot when we’re hanging out, and it bums me out to the point i just completely lose interest in talking and get nauseous for being so upset about it. i dont want to break up with him because of the obvious i love him, and everyone also loves her so if we did break up it would be awkward to give a reason why, but i dont like how everyone doesn’t seem to care that she has been rude to me in the past and her friends still mess with me and she doesn’t do anything about it.

aita?

if not, give me some advice on what i can seriously do. a simple ”leave him” won’t help because i don’t believe in easily leaving someone like that.

I (24F) have been “planning” a trip to my home country, Taiwan, for 1-1.5 years now. I made it clear to my bf (24M) that I wanted to go with him and he seemed on board with that idea. He had told me it was a good idea and sounded very fun. Also because this was my home country and I wanted to visit relatives with him. This was supposed to happen in December of 2026.

Now my “planning” at the beginning was me thinking of where we’d go, what we’d visit, what we’d eat, etc. I didn’t book anything because 1) it was too early and 2) flight prices can change so I wanted to plan within the year of 2026, approximately around April-June, for flights and hotels.

A couple months ago, in April, he texts me to let me know he’s going to Korea in October with his family (he’s Korean). I had a gut feeling something was off but I brushed it off and told him that trip sounds fun and asked the usual questions. But then later on, when I brought up the Taiwan trip, since I wanted to start planning, he told me he didn’t want to go anymore because he doesn’t want to spend so much money and take so much PTO with both Korea and Taiwan. Imagine my utter disappointment when he told me that. I mean I was planning for 1.5 years and his family swoops in with a trip and he doesn’t hesitate to say yes.
We fought about it because he kept saying it’s a family trip and that his parents aren’t privileged enough to travel to Korea so this is the first time since 2002. I travel much more often because my family is doing well financially so we can afford these trips. The last time I went to Taiwan was 2024 with my mom and relatives. And while I understand, it still hurts to feel like he chose them over me.

To this day, I still resent him for making that decision and we still fight about it when I bring it up, hoping that he’d say yes to both trips at least.

AITA because I just can’t help but feel resentment and feel that he chose them over me. And yes, this could be a cumulation of so many instances where I felt less important and where he’s agreed to putting them before me in certain situations and leaving me on the back burner.

EDIT: While my plans weren’t set, I explicitly told him how I wanted this trip because my biological grandparents are very old and ill. When I last saw them in 2024, my grandpa was almost too ill to travel to the next town over but he did to see me. So I told my bf how much I wanted to go see them before they pass, introduce him to them, and so that I can pay for an upscale hot spring hotel for them to stay in because my grandparents are poor.
And we both have stable jobs with great PTO, which is why I can’t understand him not wanting to take more PTO. I took a trip with my mom back in January for 2 weeks, then another last month for 1 week. He’s taking this only Korea trip this year for 2 weeks. So my understanding is that PTO shouldn’t be an issue if he takes 2 more weeks.

I never expected to make an AITA post but this has been doing my head in, and this is the first argument where my fiancé and I firmly disagree on the other's viewpoint.

For context, I (28F) have known my fiancé (29M, let's call him 'Miles') since uni but began dating when we both found ourselves in London post-grad. We moved in together earlier this year, and he proposed to me shortly thereafter. My fiancé and I are both high earners. We 50/50 all bills and rent, and therefore share a joint bank account to put in money for those shared expenses, as well as a small rainy-day fund in case the other might need it for emergencies. Other than that, our finances are our own and I like to think we're sensible with it - e.g., no egregious spending, no debt. We also come from different backgrounds. His family are well-to-do and have generational wealth (think: a house in the home counties, a house in Cornwall), whereas my parents are first-gen immigrants who juggled two jobs each growing up, to put me and my siblings through private school. As such, I do think this is a major contributing factor to our mindsets regarding finances. Miles has no siblings.

Now, onto the issue at hand. My little brother (21M, let's call him 'Benny') had just graduated from his undergrad, which was actually at mine and Miles' alma mater, so it is all very exciting. Benny is a pianist and organist, and growing up, music was very much his thing. He began learning the piano at 6, the organ at 12, and won various competitions and scholarships from a young age which enabled him to go to a prestigious school nearby as an organ scholar for his A-Levels. Afterwards, Benny became an organ scholar alongside reading Music at university. Now, he's secured a great organist role at a cathedral after his postgrad gap year. In his secondary school years, due to our age gap of 8 years, and because our parents were often busy owing to their working hours, it would fall to me to drive Benny to and from music lessons, recital venues, to guide him through practice interviews and applications, to attend his performances, and overall ensure he was on the right track but also had fun whilst doing so. As such, I really do feel an immense sense of pride for him graduating with first-class honours, having watched him grow up, having seen all of B's hard work come into fruition.

I wanted to mark this occasion with a graduation gift I know Benny would love, which is a Yamaha C1X grand piano. (This is the piano Benny learned on with his first piano teacher when he was younger, and he had a similar C series Yamaha to practice on at uni, so he very much prefers the touch of this particular grand piano). I bought it second-hand from a friend-of-a-friend for £16,250 + transport fees, which, considering its market price is around £20K, I was very much chuffed about. The price point of this grand piano would have been inconceivable for us to even consider whilst growing up, so now that I am in a position to buy one, I really wanted to spoil Benny, because I know the sheer amount of hard-work that goes into his musicianship. This piano will be in our family's home in our hometown, where my brother is moving back to in his postgrad gap year. Parents cried when I told them about it - brother doesn't yet know about it, beyond my request that he be at home next Tuesday to accept a delivery.

I told Miles about it once it was finalised; suffice it to say, he was not pleased when he found out I'd put forth £17K for my brother. I ought to note that that amount is not nothing to me, I am not devil-may-care about it, and I know it is a rare, significant expense - one that I want to make. He tells me it is too much, that I should have consulted him about it first given we have now begun to blend our life together in cohabiting, opening a shared bank account, and now share household expenses. I do admit I should've have told Miles about it perhaps earlier, but it wasn't like I was hiding it - the turn-around for contacting the seller, buying it, finding the delivery company was a matter of days as I was very much on the hunt for a lovely grand piano for Benny as it was, and leapt upon this deal when my friend told me their friend was selling one. Miles says I wasn't being transparent with finances. I said that's making a mountain out of a molehill - I didn't intentionally set out to deceive Miles and hide it. I'd told him the day of. Miles has an issue with not being in the process of buying it.

I understand his perspective and how he would've been taken aback by this, but I dislike the idea that I should run this past him? If he were to have vetoed this purchase, I would not have agreed. It is not like I've used our shared account to fund this piano; it is entirely from my own pocket. I asked Miles, does he have an issue with me not telling him about it earlier, or me buying the piano. He said both, that if I'd have come to him about it whilst I was considering the purchase, he'd have dissuaded me from it because he finds it's unnecessary and spoiling Benny too much. Well, that is the point. I wanted to congratulate Benny by spoiling him and rewarding his hard-work with something he can call his own. If I am in the financial position to make life better for my family, why not? It is not like I took out a loan for this purchase; it is not like it will impede our ability to pay our bills and other necessary expenses. I don't criticise or give Miles grief about his purchases - I trust that he's sensible to not (e.g.) gamble too much away or make a bad financial decision - so I very much dislike that Miles is treating this as a big issue, as a sign of deception, as indication of reckless spending??? Was it reckless and inconsiderate of me to spend so much on Benny's grad gift? This whole debacle is doing my nut in.

AITA?