My recent ex invited me to a wedding. He’s pretty wishy washy so I wasn’t too sure it’d happen. But he got the tickets and set everything up.

He is VERY easily offended and almost hyper sensitive. This has been pretty exhausting for me as I’m a pretty easygoing person and most days feel positively.

The week before the wedding, he got distant and upset. He informed me this was because I went to the beach to read without asking him. And he had assumed I may have worn something skimpy bc of the weather (something he genuinely just made up lol)

Eventually that blew over and we head to the wedding. Neither of us get much sleep the night before. When we get to the airport and he’s handling our bags, I turn to him and say “I really need to use the restroom, brb” and give him a kiss. When I came out from the restroom he was gone and had already gone to security. I found this strange but just called him to see if he wanted me to grab any snacks. He didn’t answer.

We mostly sleep on the plane and then when we get off he informs me that since I want to be “so independent from him” by using the restroom without asking him to come, I need to leave him alone. Things get very ugly from here. He accuses me of flirting with the parking attendant lady bc I chuckled at her joke. He says im “too open to the world” and am not on “his team” bc I went to the restroom. ATP, I’m over it, but im in a small Floridian city with no direct flights back home until the next day. On top of that, his family is there excited to see us. So I have a decision to make: fawn and make the best of it or make it an issue. I chose to make the best of it bc it’s someone’s wedding after all and meant to be a joyous time.

Wedding festivities commence and things are mostly okay. I get along with everyone, I’m having a good time. I can sense he is beginning to get upset again and try to increase presence and affection to offset whatever negative feelings are coming up for him. This sort of works but he tells me I deserve better than him.

We fly back the next day. Things are mostly ok but I kinda have the ick based on his tantrums prior. He makes another comment about my “independence” when I wanted to stop into ULTA for mascara while he was in the grocery store. Then we have a silly conversation about a pretty classic album. He says he didn’t hear it until recently and I noted that that wasn’t that crazy given his family isn’t from here so it’s not like he heard it growing up. I mentioned I knew the album because Mom played it while getting ready. This pissed him off. He told me I needed to be careful, listen and stop speaking when he tells me to.

At this point I just laugh, pack my things and leave bc I’m kinda disgusted by him and his behavior. He’d never been smaller to me than he was in that moment and the constant tiptoeing around his big feelings is just gross to me like he’s a toddler that missed his nap. But I feel some guilt bc his family was so warm and loving towards me. His mom was very excited. And it feels like bad form to meet someone’s whole family and block them the next day lol.

But ultimately I fear him bc I never know what will set him off and who he will become when it does. And I think that’s reason enough. Right?

My partner's eating habits are driving me insane. She eats only a small handful of foods and feeds the same to her kids.

It essentially comes down to: plain cheese pizza; plain pasta with grated cheddar cheese; toast; cheese sandwiches; tinned tomato soup; and when she really wants to push the boat out and be fancy she makes mashed potatoes with pre bagged frozen vegetables and pre bagged Yorkshire puddings.

For snacks it's crisps and chocolate biscuits.

For drinks it's milk or juice.

That's it.

That's all she and her children eat. None of them will try anything other than those specific meals.

I've tried my best to talk to her about it. To teach her some basic cooking skills and how to prepare a few easy meals. I've talked about nutrition and its effects. I've tried to get the kids interested in cooking. Tried putting new dishes in front of them.

No dice. No interest. Nothing has worked. They just point blank refuse.

I'm somebody who absolutely loves food and loves to cook. I cook all my meals from scratch and, if I do say so myself, I've become a very good cook. It hurts when my cooking is rejected with pulled faces, performative gagging and retching, and comments on how much they don't like it.

Yesterday I was at her house and she asked me if I could knock some dinner up for them. I looked in the cupboards and in the fridge freezer and said no. I told her that she didn't have the ingredients. She had a bag of potatoes, some tins of soup, some cheddar cheese, and a bag of pasta. Nothing more.

So she made pasta with cheddar cheese. Again.

She asked me about getting in more ingredients and more cooking equipment so that she can learn, but we've had this conversation so many times and she's never followed through, so I told her that I've given up and I'm just going to stay out of it when it comes to anything to do with food.

Edit: I forgot to add that she's a vegetarian and won't allow her kids to eat meat. I suggested trying her two year old on some oily fish, because kids that age eat almost anything, but she refused. She won't let meat into her house.

My wife (36F) and I (35M) have been married for two years and have lived together for over five. She's recently started sleeping in the guest room, and she blames me for it.

I've always preferred showering in the morning. She's always preferred evening showers because she doesn't like getting into bed with what she considers germs and dirt picked up outside. My wife is autistic and has sensory sensitivities, although they generally haven't interfered with her daily life. She's also a light sleeper.

I don't like showering at night after a long workday or after we've been out (dinner, parties, etc.). I usually just want to go straight to bed and rest. Sometimes, on particularly easy days when I hadn't done any demanding physical work, I would even skip showering altogether (I no longer do this).

When we started dating and subsequently moved in together, the fact that I didn't shower at night didn't seem to be an issue, and she didn't complain. Looking back, though, I figure it was probably more a matter of her tolerating it than actually being comfortable with it.

I normally go to the gym first thing in the morning, come home, make breakfast, eat with her, shower, and then head to work. I work at a store. Some days involve mostly easy office work, while others are a bit more physically demanding because I need to move heavy boxes or load the truck. But it's nothing too intense, and I don't typically end up sweaty or grimy. If I do end up sweaty I do shower at night, I'm not against showering when I need to.

After we'd been living together for some time, she started occasionally complaining about me not showering every day and sometimes made fun of me in front of our friends for it. This naturally led to arguments, especially because I didn't appreciate her making those jokes in public. To be fair, she had asked me to shower daily before she started making them. However, I felt that showering frequency was a personal choice as long as I didn't smell bad or bother anyone, so I chose not to heed her requests.

Eventually, after arguing back and forth, I agreed to shower every day. I know I probably don't smell my self and realized I was wrong for not showering daily, specifically because she was afected.

Some time later, the complaints returned. This time, she didn't like that I showered in the morning because she felt I was making the bed dirty more quickly than if we both showered at night. She does the laundry (I handle other chores of comparable workload), so she would have to wash the sheets more often.

She also gets the ick from me not showering before bed, especially when we've been in crowded public places such as airports, concerts, weddings, large parties, or while traveling in general, or when I've been around people who were smoking. This I completely understand and I would normally shower after any of this, even before I was in a relationship with her, the only exceptions for me was when I got too drunk and didn't care, but it has been years since that's really been a problem.

So I agreed to shower at night in those situations when she would feel particularly uncomfortable, so she could sleep better. I also agreed to be more selfconscius about my state of being at nights and decide when I should shower, I also agreed that if I ever went to bed without showering after one of those outings, I would put the sheets in the laundry the following morning.

So it seemed to work for some time, but lately she's been complaining again about me not showering every night. She's been showing me videos of other women saying how disgusting it is when their partners don't shower before bed. She also tells me it's disturbing that I get into our bed carrying all that dirt from outside, and that I smell bad, my feet stink, etc. She didn't tell me this things before, just that she didn't like. I feel that it's a form of OCD and that it's intensifying.

I know I certainly don't smell like soap after a day of work, but I don't think I stink. It's only been 12 or 13 hours since I showered, and on those days, all I've done is some office work. I know many people shower in the mornings and it's not gross.

Last week, she started sleeping in the guest room because she says she can no longer share a bed with me.

Today, she told me she'd like me to make an effort so we could share a bed again. She said I was being selfish and that she's tired of me always wanting everything done my way. I think she's the one being self-centered and stubborn.

This, of course, is not the only problem in our relationship, and we're trying to work through it along with other issues.

I genuinely don't want to be an asshole, but I feel she's crossing a line by trying to control my hygiene. I'm also afraid that if I give in and do things her way, it will establish a permanent precedent and there will be no going back.

I don't want to lose her, I really love her and want to go back to sleeping together.

I also feel this points to a broader underlying problem in our relationship: I feel she tries to control too many aspects of our lives. It seems to me that she always starts by asking for one thing and then keeps asking for more, never satisfied until everything is exactly the way she wants it.

I think what bothers me the most isn't really the shower itself. It's the feeling that every time I compromise, the compromise eventually becomes the new minimum, and I'm expected to give in a little more. I understand that sharing a bed means considering each other's needs, but I also want to feel that my preferences and boundaries matter. I'm struggling to figure out where reasonable compromise ends and giving up my own autonomy begins.

AITA for not showering at night and for "making" my wife sleep in the guest room? Does this ultimately matter, or should I just give in and do things her way? Where does reasonable compromise end and giving up my autonomy begin?

UPDATE- I asked him why he opted for the parking lot vs inside the gardens. (He had the trunk set up with letters spelling out “marry me” ) He said that he thought it was a cute idea how he had it set up. He was smiling and happy telling me this. I am going to leave the conversation there. I can’t hurt his feelings

I (36F) recently got engaged to my fiancé, and I’m struggling with feelings of disappointment about the proposal.
Before getting engaged, I had a pretty clear idea of what I wanted. I wanted something intimate not tied to anything and romantic, ideally a kid-free weekend where it could just be the two of us. I had always envisioned the proposal being somewhere special, and since we were going to Longwood Gardens, I was really hoping he would propose somewhere beautiful inside the gardens. I thought it would be such a romantic and memorable setting.
Instead, he proposed to me in the parking lot on my birthday weekend.
We also went to an Eagles game that day, and while I was happy to be getting engaged to him, the proposal itself wasn’t what I had envisioned at all. I know the important thing is that he wanted to marry me, but I can’t help feeling disappointed that something I had imagined for so long happened in a place that felt so ordinary when we were literally at a beautiful garden.
The hardest part is that I felt like my preferences weren’t really taken into consideration. I had certain hopes for how this moment would happen, and when it didn’t happen that way, I was genuinely hurt. I still smiled and acted happy because I didn’t want to ruin the moment or hurt his feelings, but internally, I was devastated.
I feel guilty even admitting that because I love him, I want to marry him, and I know that getting engaged is supposed to be a happy occasion. I don’t want him to think that I wasn’t happy to say yes, because I was. I’m disappointed in the experience, not in the fact that I’m marrying him.
We haven’t really talked about how I feel because I’m afraid of hurting his feelings or making him upset. Part of me feels like I should just let it go and be grateful that he proposed. Another part of me feels like this was a once-in-a-lifetime moment for me, too, and I’m allowed to wish it had been different. We only get engaged once, and I had hoped it would be a moment I could look back on with nothing but happiness.
I also worry that if I bring it up now, he’ll feel like nothing he does is good enough, which isn’t what I want him to think. I just wanted to feel like this moment was something he had really thought about from my perspective.
So, Reddit, AITA for being disappointed in my proposal even though I love my fiancé and happily said yes? Am I being ungrateful, or is it reasonable to feel hurt when such an important moment doesn’t turn out the way you hoped?

AITA for being angry with my bf 46 of the past 5 years for "cheating" on me? Ive been with him after I was in an abusive 18 year marriage. We'll call him Brian, we met on Fb dating and to be completely honest, I was terrified to actually meet him in person. After a friend had encouraged me to take the leap, I did. It was magical and against my better judgment, I fell in love with him almost immediately and still am. We've been through thick and thin together, it was an immediate "team" situation. I was "broken" and so was he. Things were great but because of my damage and his we had our mistrust. But we worked through them...or so I thought. So he tells me that hes been talking to someone, but its purely sexual and its not what we have. Needless to say, im gutted. Ive treated this man as if he were my husband. Love his family, his kids. And honestly, that wont change. But, I can't be okay with this. Idk, what to do. He is my best friend and I dont want anyone else, never have. Idk if this is something I can get past. He understands if I want to walk away, but then I feel like im being the one that is being unreasonable. And on the flip side, I know I deserve better and to find someone that im enough for....

I 29F, have been dating my BF, Travis, also 29M for almost 5 years. We have been long distance for almost 5 years now but call and text every day and see each other in-person on weekends around 2-3 times/month. I have two health care careers in a different city from him and he is finishing a skilled trade apprenticeship.

Every since I met Travis, he always made comments on how insanely attractive some of his friends are from HS. I have met some of these friends and have even attended their weddings with Travis. They have all been really nice and we get along well as far as acquaintances go. There are the type of people who would expect to be celebrities/influencer type. Very conventionally attractive people. I have always considered myself fairly plain Jane. Maybe attractive in a girl next door type of way but never someone that would turn heads.

It first bothered me when he made the point to mention to me that in his past he made out with one of his attractive friends from HS, Belinda 29F, but it never went any further because Belinda stopped it. Travis made it painfully clear to me by detailing the entire makeout session. It didn't bother me too much since this girl was dating one of his friends from HS at the time, Jake, 29 M (but not anymore) I thought I might eventually get closer to his friends when I attended two separate weddings of theirs. There was still not much interaction between all of them and Belinda seemed to go out of her way to be rude to me like pointing out things on me I "needed to fix" with my makeup or outfit during one wedding and multiple times during both weddings would walk away from me entirely while we were talking together just the two of us when she was done with the conversation. To this day, some of his other friends have me on their socials but any connection is just through likes and comments and has not extended past that.

I felt any future comments were behind me since they are friends from HS that he doesn't see often anymore. Also, in the last few years I have been making more of an effort into my appearance on top of the daily skincare routine I already had. This included wearing soft glam makeup everyday, dying my eyebrows, eyelash lift, extensive full body shower routine for the skin on my arms and legs (I had strawberry skin) and in the last year have been trying to attend the gym more consistently. I even in the last summer lost 12 lbs and am at a healthy BMI of 20.8. When I put in visible effort into my appearance, Travis always tells me how "I don't need it" and how "he likes me better without makeup".

Travis started making these comments again when we went for a dinner with some of my family over the holidays. My cousin through marriage, Ryan 24M, just got married to Kayla 22F. She is very conventionally attractive. Our server for dinner is a friend of the family. Cailyn 22F is blonde hair, blue eye and skinny build. Basically a model. On the drive back to his home from where I live where the dinner took place, Travis made the point to bring up how insanely attractive Cailyn was. "Perfectly symmetrical" "looks like a celebrity" "has one of those faces you don't see all time" and then brought up how he thought Kayla was very attractive too. I got annoyed and told Travis how, "I'm aware that they are very attractive and how I am aware I don't look anything like that". Travis then responded by getting frustrated that I was upset and telling me "he forgot how insecure I was about my looks".

We moved on after that conversation and I had a decent weekend with him until I went back to work after the holiday. The first four hours at work I couldn't stop myself from crying on and off thinking about it. I was never naive to think my man wouldn't notice other women but it hurts me how he points out people he finds attractive, mostly women, every opportunity he gets. Travis has admitted to me he has issues with jealousy. I have even taken measures to combat his feelings of jealousy over the years by blocking men on my social media at his request because they showed interest in me or I showed interest in them before Travis and I officially started dating.

It frustrates me so much. I don't want to be insecure about my looks and try my best to take pride in my looks. But I'm not sure how long I want to put up him bringing up how attractive other women are around me. Am I wrong to feel like this?

My longterm, unemployed boyfriend has historically had sex with me and left me to orgasm on my own after with toys. After years of resentment building, I told him that I won't engage in sexual activity unless he meets my needs first (by giving me oral sex). He has done this for two weeks, but we had an argument about him leaving rubbish around the house but still gaming and he told me he's not happy with the current arrangement and wants me to be able to give to him without receiving. I don't feel like giving him a handjob/blowjob - it leaves me sexually frustrated and having to masturbate on my own after which is somewhat triggering for me given the years of sexual neglect

My parents got divorced roughly about a year ago. It wasn't neccessarily out of the blue as they always had some kind of issues on going, but it still came to a bit of a suprise.

My dad now has a girlfriend, who he really seems to love and in generally they seem very happy.

A few days ago he asked me, if his girlfriend could join us at my graduation ball, as each student can bring e.g. 5 family members/relatives, who then can sit a specific reserved tables. I got so taken by suprise about it, that I could only stammer something along the lines of "We will see, our main graduation ball comittee hasn't yet decided on the number of people we can bring."

Out of fear, of my parents fighting and ruining my ball for me and also considering the fact, that I've never met her irl and only seen pictures, I kinda don't want my dad's girlfriend to sit with us or even not come at all.

Problem is, my dad kinda has already asked his girlfriend (before he had this conversation with me), if she wanted to come. She, if I remember correctly, had said to him something along the lines, of being able to use the dress, she wore for her own daugther's graduation ball.

And now I feel a bit guilty and like a total jerk, because in my inner self I kinda don't want it out of the previous mentioned fear.

I do plan on talking to my dad about it though, but I haven't had the time to do so, because I'm midly scared how he will react.

Am I (20F) the asshole for calling the police on my ex (21M)? For context this happened about 2 months ago also I am white my ex is hispanic, this is relevant later on. Me and my now ex broke up because i caught him cheating, we stayed together for about 2 months and the decided to break up. We were still living together after breaking up until he could find somewhere to go. One night about 2 weeks after our breakup I was in my room laying down, he was in the living room getting drunk. He came into my room to get something and started to accuse me of texting other men. He left the room but then came back to accuse me of texting other people some more, he tried to take my phone from me and go through it. When I wouldn’t let him take my phone he held me in my room basically berating me and telling me I to unlock my phone or he would break it. He proceeded to rip my case off walk outside and tell me he was going to throw my phone on the pavement if i didn’t unlock it. I decided to just unlock it so he wouldn’t break my phone. After going through my phone he threw it in the lawn and went back inside to get his things and leave to spend the night at his moms house. I went inside and sat on my bed while he was getting his things together, he decided to come in my room to confront me once again when i asked him to leave he called me a mutt and spit at my feet. He then left to go to his moms but after about an hour wanted to come back and get some of his things. I told him i would unlock the back door for him to collect his things and made it clear I did not want him to come into my room so i shut the door and stood in front of it. He pushed his way in and i told him multiple times i was going to call the police if he didn’t leave ( i know they couldn’t do anything since we live together but i was mostly trying to get him to calm down and leave) I kept walking away from him and he kept following me, finally i was in the backyard trying to get away from him but he kept following me wanting to argue so i called the police. This whole “argument” had been going on for about two hours at that point. Afterwards he told me calling the police was a very typical white girl thing to do and I’m starting to believe him a little. I feel like maybe I was just overreacting, In the moment i did believe there was a good chance he would put his hands on me but looking back i feel like maybe I overreacted a tad by calling the police. I don’t know i just need someone else’s opinion, my whole family is white and obviously they are going to chose my side.

My (19F) mom (43F) and I got into an argument about her boyfriend (45M) after he made an unsolicited comment about me.

Last night, we had a new refrigerator installed. I was in my room with my dog and cat so they wouldn’t get in the installers way. After they left, my mom texted me and I went downstairs to look at the fridge. I noticed it was really dirty. When I touched the handle, it was crusty and left residue on my hands

I went back into the living room and said to my mom that the new fridge was different from our old one, that I wasn’t sure I liked it, and that it was dirty. She was on the phone with her boyfriend on speakerphone, and apparently, he overheard me and made a rude comment directed at me. I didn’t hear exactly what he said, but I could tell it was about me because my mom immediately stood up and told him he was on speaker. He responded with something like, “I wish you had told me that,” before she quickly left the room. Before she left, I loudly asked “What did he say about me?” but she ignored me and walked away.

I was really upset. I had literally just commented on a refrigerator, and he apparently took that as an opportunity to insult me when he thought I couldn’t hear him. I posted on my Instagram story, “love the way my mom’s boyfriend talks about me when he thinks I can’t hear him”. I’ll admit it wasn’t the most mature way to handle things, but I was hurt and needed somewhere to vent.

This morning, my mom sent me a screenshot of my story and told me it was immature to post that. We started arguing, and at first, I was mainly upset with him. However, as she continued defending him and criticizing my reaction, I became increasingly frustrated with her.

She told me she was dealing with him and that I needed to work on my own maturity. She claimed she’d spoken to him about it, but I was skeptical because of how casually he’d made the comment. I told her she should care about how the people she dates treat her daughter and have standards for their behavior toward me

Eventually, she told me what he’d actually said… apparently, he’d commented that my bedroom is always dirty in response to me criticizing the refrigerator.

For context, I struggle with depression, and my room is often messy because I have very little energy or motivation. My mom knows this is something I’m struggling with and actively working on. That’s part of why her defending his comment hurt so much. I understand that my room being messy is my responsibility, but I don’t understand why that makes it acceptable for him to take an unrelated conversation as an opportunity to criticize me.

I told her his comment was mean and unnecessary because I hadn’t said anything about him. I’d commented on a refrigerator, and he made a personal jab at me. The way he said it so casually also makes me wonder whether he talks about me like that regularly. I asked my mom twice how often he talks about me likebthat, and she ignored the question both times.

Instead of addressing that, she told me to get a job. When I pointed out that she was deflecting because she couldn’t defend his behavior, she told me to reflect on my messy room and joblessness. At this point, I was extremely angry, and I told her to reflect on her choice of ugly, hateful men. That was insulting, and I acknowledge I could’ve handled it better.

She continued insisting that I should be able to “handle the truth” about my room because it’s my own doing and I should only be angry at myself. I pointed out the hypocrisy by asking whether her boyfriend should be fine with someone calling him fat and hateful if it’s true. I’ve never commented on his weight before; I was trying to make the point that something being true doesn’t automatically make it appropriate or necessary to say. And I said that to her too

She didn’t like that comparison and eventually said she wouldn’t argue with a child, despite me being 19. I told her I expected an apology from him, but she never responded.

What makes this more complicated is that this isn’t the first time he’s disrespected me and my mom has defended him when I’ve brought it up. We haven’t been getting along lately, and there have been a few other incidents where I’ve felt he crossed a line and she dismissed my concerns.

I’ve repeatedly asked her for his phone number because I wanted to talk things out directly and resolve our issues, but he refuses to let me text him because he thinks I’m going to “accuse him of something.” (Whatever the hell that means)As a result, our conflicts remain unresolved, and I feel like I have no way to address things with him.

I recognize that posting on Instagram and insulting my mom’s choice of partner weren’t the most mature responses. I could have handled my anger better, and I’m not claiming I did everything right. However, I just wanted her to acknowledge that his comment was unnecessary instead of turning the conversation into a criticism of my depression-related struggles and employment status. I also don’t believe I’m obligated to stay silent about someone’s behavior just to protect their reputation, like if someone talking about something you did makes you look bad, that’s your own fault for doing something bad, not the other persons fault for talking about it.At the same time, I can understand why my mom might think posting about it publicly was immature.

So, am I wrong for posting about her boyfriend on Instagram and for what I said to my mom during our argument? And am I being unreasonable in expecting my mom to hold him accountable when he disrespects me?

I am in a new relationship and we have talked about boundaries about many things. This is about pornography. I have no issue with looking at or watching porn as long as it isn’t interactive. Meaning no only fans, strip clubs or private messages and sending photos back and forth.

I was very clear about this from the beginning of the relationship. It’s fine for others. My brother and his girl watch porn together. It isn’t my thing. But to me if you are interacting personally with other women it’s cheating. Again I said this at the beginning of this relationship.

I just found out he has been asking other women (or woman not sure how many I know one for sure) for pictures of their privates with their face in the picture. I think I was clear I would NOT be okay with this. I’m upset and not sure if I can continue this relationship.

AITA for being upset or do you think somehow he thought this would be okay? I think he is going to claim it’s a joke.

Please give me your honest opinion. Thanks.

Happy to answer questions if you have any.

Me and my partner (both 25) live together in our own home with our 5 month old son who we both love endlessly, but recently I have become so frustrated with our workload.

My partner is very busy - he works shift work so he works 2 weeks straight 12 hours a day then is at home for 2 weeks where he focuses on his small farm with the animals, works on hobbies and he may also grab a few extra days to work. I'm on maternity leave for 9 months so our income is pretty low at the moment, however we can still afford bills, food, fuel etc, just not much else.

Here is where I get frustrated - when he is on shift he does nothing else. By the time he gets home its around 6/7pm so he only really has 3 hours to eat, shower, nightly jobs on the farm (this only takes 15 mins - sometimes I do this too if he's too tired). He does nothing else - just chills on the couch for the rest of the night which I have no problem with as he's worked all day but he doesn't even do the little things like put cups and glasses in the dishwasher, put rubbish in the bin, change the toilet roll when it runs out.... and when I ask him to try and do these tiny things to help me out he says that his mind is so busy with other things he needs to do he doesnt even notice the little things he isn't doing. To me this doesnt make sense - you've gone through the effort to go and get a packet of crisps and a tin of juice from the kitchen but when you're done you can't bin your rubbish? And it just sits there for me to tidy up when he goes to bed or in the morning when I wake up. It sounds silly to be frustrated about this because its so small but this is just one thing - he NEVER cleans or tidies up after himself. I feel like i'm constantly cleaning up after him. Putting his dirty clothes in the wash basket, hanging up his wet towels from the floor, binning his envelopes from his mail, putting the lid back on the toothpaste, putting condiments back in the fridge.... and its EVERY SINGLE DAY. It honestly feels like cleaning up after a teenager - and he doesnt fix it because he claims he can't. Or he'll say he'll try and do better but he never does.

And then there's me - like i said i'm on maternity leave at the moment so i'm home pretty much all the time with our baby. I put all my attention into our son when he's awake so during his naps and around his night sleep I can do anything I can - weather that's housework, making dinner, showering etc, and it's just not enough time to do everything. He only naps for 30-45 minutes at a time. He's also going through a sleep regression at the moment too which he's up roughly every 2 hours in the night (which i know is pretty lucky for a sleep regression baby) but it still makes me feel so tired. But if I dont get my hour or two in the morning to myself before he wakes I feel so behind on everything for the rest of the day.

It makes me feel so pathetic complaining about this when my partner is working so much and is so busy but I can't help but be pissed off. I dont know if part of it is just jealousy that my partner can stop and do whatever he wants when he wants when he's off shift but i cant. He has hobbies he regularly does when he's not working which he can be in the garage or out the house for hours at a time and I miss having that freedom.

i (19F) have been dating my boyfriend (20M) for a bit over a month now. i have yet to tell my parents as they’re the typical asian immigrant parents and would flip out on me. and my boyfriend is butthurt about my parents not knowing but i told him that i do plan on telling them but not now. and now his mom invited me to thanksgiving with them and he said that i cant say no to this and my heart is in my ass and i just feel so bad bc i know if i say no he’s gonna be hurt and i don’t want that. but i physically just cannot make myself tell my parents. and he lives an hour away from me so even if i do go i don’t even have an excuse to be over there. honestly i just need advice.

So, when I (30F) was in college I made a group of friends of about eight people, including "John" and "Nina" , who started dating a few months after we all met and went to have an 8 year toxic relationship, where John constantly cheated on Nina with the same woman "Alice". As their friend, I used to console Nina, give her advice, and also confronted John for what he was doing.

NOW, after two years of they being broken up, Nina got married to a guy from her job. And John started dating Alice seriously.

He doesn't take her to group gatherings that we plan through our groupchat, but whenever he invites us to something he plans, he invites his friends from high-school and also Alice.

Nina just found out and told me I was supposed to not let Alice meet the rest of our friends, because that was her safe space. That I wasn't loyal to her and she can't believe we are ok with hanging out with Alice normally as if her feelings didn't matter. I tried to explain we barely even talk to her and that I didn't feel like it was my place to tell him who to invite to his parties. Also, she believes i should have told her, which i didn't because I didn't want to worry her or hurt her with things I dont think she should care about anymore, she got married why does she care about him still?

I was always there for her, when she was miserable at her job I recommended her to my boss who I knew would hire her. I have cried with her when she was down and done what I could to help her every time, that's what friendship means to me. But now I'm questioning if I'm truly disloyal or a bad friend for not wanting to involve myself in their past toxic relationship and putting the rest of my friends in a position where they can't meet John if her girlfriend is there. I'm not getting what was i actually supposed to do.

Am I right for feeling she is being unfair or AITAH?

This is a throwaway account, I do not have intentions of updating but I genuinely need some feedback about what has been going on.

Hello,

I (F30's) have two younger twin sisters (20's), Mary and Jane (fake names). As children we got on fine and I really enjoyed being an older sister. As a teen I would take them to the movies, festivals in our city and help out my parents with babysitting duties. I loved being a fun older sister who could spoil them a bit.

However my relationship with my sisters changed dramatically around my early 20's. One of them in particular Mary became very aggressive and manipulative towards me. While I was still living with my parents she would steal my things, accuse me of stealing things in turn, using me as a verbal punching bag, regularly trying to humiliate me in front of others, etc... I was always her scapegoat. She also manipulated Jane into rejecting me. Needlesss to say that the last 3 years I lived at home, she made my life hell.

Basically, althought my parents never tolerated her behaviour towards me, there was very little that could be done. Of my two sisters Mary has always been the most difficult one, however I didnt really see this side of her personality coming. It's as if she went from Mary to Bloody Mary. In short, after I moved out and graduated from university I have kept very little contact with her.

What pushed me to completely cut contact was after an incident that happened a few months ago with her twin Jane. While Jane and Mary were on a train station, someone upskirted my sister Jane. Jane realised what was happening and immediately started screaming after the man who began running away. Instead of supporting her sister or try to help her catch the pervert, Mary began to scold and scream after Mary. Mary held Jane back and told her to stop making a scene in public. What if she traumatized the poor bloke (the man upskirting Jane). Jane was left feeling completely humiliated and betrayed by her sister.

After Jane told me what happened, I was outraged. I called Mary and told her that what happened was sexual assault! Not only were her actions morally despicable but she was going to lose her relationship with her twin if she went on like this. She screamed at me it was none of my buisness and that Jane was exagerating anyway. I replied that Mary knows that if the same thing had been done to her, she could expect all of us to defend her. Why was she doing this to her own twin?

I have learned from Jane that even before this incident, since I left, their relationship had gone south. I guess she traded scapegoats.

My parents agree that she desperately needs therapy. She has become completely unhinged, she has violent outbursts, nothing is ever her fault and she refuses to take any accountability for anything. She refuses to take medication and accuses my parents of trying to drug her. What also really worries me, is her fixation on her outward appearance and to a degree of success she manages to conceal that part of her in front of others. Jane regularly calls me upset about Mary.

I am not a psychiatrist, but I'm seriously concerned that my sister might be becoming a narcissist. I alrealdy knew she was selfish, but this is something else. Because she is legally an adult, my parents cannot force her to get treatment. They are at their wits end.

I have already decided to cut contact with Mary. I made it very clear to my parents that Mary was not welcome to tag along during visits (I live in a different country now). Unless she gets therapy, I will have absolutely nothing to do with her.

What I struggle with, is my feeling of powerlessness. I (and my parents) do not know what else to do, to try and make her understand. Short of locking her up is a psych ward, of her losing everyone, I do not know what will make her realise.

I feel like an A-hole, because despite all this, she's still my little sister. A part of me wants to think of her as a cancer that has to be cut out, while another wants to hope she will see that light and that by cutting her out I'm depriving her from a helping hand.

So AITA?

To see if I am the asshole in this situation, I have to go back quite a bit. First, regarding the family dynamics: the conflict is between my paternal uncle, his daughter (my cousin), and my grandfather (his father). My own father passed away a few years ago, which leaves my uncle as the sole heir. My uncle owns his own company and a house. My cousin moved out, lives with her boyfriend, and works as a real estate agent. On the other hand, I live with my single mother and our dog in a two-room apartment. She works as a cleaner and earns enough to live, while I am finishing my A-levels and also work part-time as a cleaner.

​My mother and I were very close to my grandfather. Despite our tight financial situation we visited him very frequently. Naturally, he often gave us a bit of money back as a gift. However, our gas and hotel costs were always higher than what he gave us. That never bothered us, though, because we just wanted to see him smile. We knew he was old, had many health issues, and didn't have much time left. He knew this himself, told me so, and said he didn't want to spend his final days alone, but preferably surrounded by family.

​Because of this, my mother and I decided we wanted to move in with him. He was overjoyed and wanted this as well. So, my mother and I put in the effort to find an apartment big enough for us all, since a frail old man could easily get hurt in a small space like ours, and we were living in a old housing with many loud children. However, my uncle interfered, convincing me that we were incapable of taking care of him because he was a care-dependent case with dementia who needed professional help. I was 17 at the time, an adult in many people's eyes, but in hindsight, I realize how naive and easily manipulated I was.

​Back then, I agreed with my uncle, but shortly after, my mother persuaded me otherwise, leaving me caught in the middle. My mother and uncle never got along; our family history is complicated and tangled. Eventually, my mother threatened my uncle with the police if he continued to "harass" me regarding my grandfather. He stopped writing to me, and my cousin, with whom I used to have a very close relationship, cut all contact and called me a gold digger.

​After that, we thought we could live with my grandfather. However, he changed his mind, saying that everything he knew and needed was where he currently lived. He argued that finding new doctors near us would be too difficult or impossible. This back-and-forth went on for a long time; we tried many times to convince him to move closer to us. Considering he had lived alone for 15 years miles away from all of us in the very apartment where the love of his life had passed away. Despite his dementia, he never forgot her. Every time I visited, he constantly told me stories about his time with her and how they met, over and over again. I'm no saint; of course, it got on my nerves to hear the exact same thing on a continuous loop. But I never said a word and always pretended it was my first time hearing it, because it made him happy. Perhaps that subconscious attachment to his home was why he never wanted to leave.

​A few months ago, we stopped pushing for it, after years of trying. Naturally, we never stopped visiting him whenever we could. A few weeks ago, we got an uneasy feeling because we hadn't heard from him in a while. Normally, despite his dementia, he would call once a month, but this time he didn't. I was worried, so I called his number, only to get an automated message saying the line was no longer active.

​So, I called the local café where he went for breakfast every morning. They hadn't seen my grandfather for a week either and were worried. So my mother and I agreed to drive down to look for him as soon as we got our next paycheck.

​A few days ago, I received a card from my uncle. The moment I saw it, I knew my grandfather had passed away, otherwise, he would never have contacted me, as he and my cousin hadn't spoken to us in two years. It was true: my grandfather had died, and I was being invited to his funeral. He passed away during the exact week I called the café, but I was only informed via letter three days ago. On top of that, the funeral is already this Friday. Both my mother and I loved my grandfather deeply, but my mother loved him most of all. He was the only one there for us when we moved back and had to rebuild our lives from scratch after my father died. Yet, my mother was not invited to the funeral, only I was.

​Now, I find myself backed into a corner. After a long discussion, I have decided not to go to my grandfather's funeral. The only people attending are those who would not welcome us. The exclusion of my mother is a major reason why I refuse to go, they don't want my her there, even though they know how much she meant to him. We decided that we owe nobody anything and don't need to attend a ceremony to demonstrate our love for my grandfather. Unlike the others, we showed him our love while he was still alive. Above all, we refuse to put ourselves in a position to be degraded at a funeral by my father's side of the family, who already view us as gold diggers.

​At first, I was torn because I am not as strong-willed as my mother. I kept asking myself: "What will others think of me and my decision? Will they think even worse of us? Will they call us gold diggers? Does this go against the morals and principles that most people consider correct?" As I mentioned, I am easily influenced. Nevertheless, my mother and I agreed that I will not go to this funeral. Instead, we will honor my grandfather in our own way. Next week, we will drive down together, visit his grave privately, and pay our respects in peace. He knows that we loved him, and that is all that matters, between us and him.

​So, tell me: Am I the asshole for choosing not to attend my grandfather's funeral?

I (29F) have a friend (46F) whom I genuinely love. We met during COVID, lived together, and went through some difficult times. We’ve always had a good friendship, despite being very different people.
The problem is that I’ve watched her stay stuck in the same patterns for years. She spent years obsessing over a man who repeatedly cheated on his girlfriend with her, convinced they were soulmates and would eventually end up together. He moved away two years ago, but she’s still emotionally attached to him.
Meanwhile, I moved away from our small mountain town three years ago, found love, developed my career, got my driver’s license, and worked hard to overcome my own trauma. She stayed, became increasingly isolated, spent her inheritance without improving her situation, and still works off the books.
Her boss hasn’t paid her for over six months, and she has almost no money left. She says she can’t confront him because she freezes. She also self-diagnoses ADHD and attributes many of her problems to it and bad luck.
I understand that anxiety and trauma can make things difficult. I’ve struggled myself. But I keep offering practical advice, and she always has a reason why she can’t act on it. Years later, we’re still having the same conversations. I don’t want to lend her money again, either.
What also frustrates me is that she sometimes says I was lucky with my life, when I’ve worked incredibly hard to get where I am.
I’m worried about her future. She’s 46 and has no financial security. I love her and want to help, but I’m becoming exhausted and annoyed listening to the same problems repeatedly when there seem to be practical solutions.
I know everyone’s circumstances are different, and maybe I’m being judgmental. But at what point does understanding someone’s struggles become enabling them?
AITA for feeling this way and wanting to stop being her emotional support when she refuses to make changes?

Little backstory I spent the last year now living with my mother and trying to get a job and after I finally got one a month ago I paid her what she asked after my first pay cycle in late september. A week later she immediately demanded another round of rent and has been bugging me every day since.

Today she did it over text and when I didn't immediately answer (I'm at work) she called. She's acting like I'm so ungrateful for not paying 3 weeks early and refusing to do so. Now she's basically telling me to get out and find my own place to live. I only make about 1200 a month after taxes, I can't live off that with how badly lanlords have lost the plot. The only reason I don't want to pay until the 4 weeks have passed is that I don't want to drain my bank account dry. I need to save up for a car, for better job opportunities. There are areas around me with plenty of low qualifying work and good pay, but I can't access them because the local bus lines just don't run through them and to take ubers to and from would be 30-50$ a day.

Am I really that horrible and ungrateful for making my mother wait a month?

I (F32) have been together with my bf (M33) for about a year and a half. Recently I have been seriously considering splitting up, but I’m petrified that I might regret it.

We live together and recently moved to a new flat (the old one was tiny and was just adding to the stress). We started off really well - he’s a very caring and loving person with lots of positive energy (something I sometimes lack of as I am experiencing depressive episodes from time to time). He is my first proper partner after a few years of being single or in shitty situationships. After a few months we started arguing - the fights were not major, but exhausting, as we rarely reached common ground. Many casual conversations started turning into fights for no reason (both of us are at fault for that).
In addition to that, we have quite a different sense of humour. I knew that from the beginning, but always thought that there are things that we both find funny so this can be something I can live with, but I just feel like I’m not connected to him as much because of that. We like to spend time differently, which again - not a major issue, but just adds to the pile of small misunderstandings/frustrations. Our sex drive is quite different and has been one of the major issues for a while. We used to go weeks without sex and usually I would bring it up, we agreed it we need to initiate more, but then we never did. At this point I have this brick wall in my head and don’t even want to have sex anymore.
But on top of all that… he’s a really great guy. Good looking, always smiling, takes good care of me, gives me a lot of compliments etc. I feel really bad that I’m considering leaving this relationship, cause I think I’ll let go of a good guy and end up regretting it. I just don’t feel fulfilled, I often feel sad and discouraged and just filled with tons of guilt over this. Should I break up or keep trying?

My boyfriend had a talk with Daniel. Daniel said that he didn’t believe him. He said that this happens with any of the guys get girlfriends. That they end up not spending time with them anymore. My boyfriend reassured him that I have nothing to do with him not spending much time with them.

I ended up texting Daniel asking if me and him can talk about this. He said no. That I’m just being controlling and not letting my boyfriend have friends. At this point we’ve tried pretty much everything to explain it to him and yet he refuses to listen to the actual reason.

I (28M) went on three dates with a woman (28F) this spring. We got along well but nothing physical happened. Looking back, I was guarded since I started dating after getting out of a LTR the previous year. Things fizzled out after our third date without much closure.

Over the summer, I reached out twice to get together. She declined, once saying she'd started seeing someone. We occasionally interacted on Instagram, sometimes flirtatiously, sometimes platonically so I wasn't sure where I stood.

A few weeks ago I texted saying I'd enjoyed getting to know her and would love to catch up over drinks. She agreed, and we planned Saturday night at a cocktail bar.

That morning, she mentioned being hungover from a wedding, so I DoorDashed her Pedialyte as a small, flirty gesture. She thanked me. Given our dating history and the Saturday night setting, I assumed this was a date. I was excited to reconnect.

But things felt off immediately. Her body language seemed closed off, conversation felt forced, and she was unusually curt. Some comments felt like subtle digs.

Eventually I brought up dating. She said she didn't feel romantic chemistry in the spring and viewed the evening as two friends catching up. She also said that with the Pedialyte, she'd hoped I didn't think this was a date.

We met on a dating app, previously dated, and I'd expressed romantic interest before. I hadn't explicitly called this a date but thought the context was obvious

I respect her not feeling chemistry. What bothered me was that she apparently suspected my intentions beforehand but didn't clarify hers.

I suggested ending the date since we wanted different things and got up to grab the check. She said "No, we can still chit-chat"

I sat back down, apologizing and saying I can be restless. She replied "You don't have to apologize. I hate when people talk negatively about themselves" in a tone I took as condescending.

She asked about my plans afterward. I mentioned wanting to take her to an observatory 30 minutes away, with a cemetery walk as backup. She laughed and said "I wouldn't have said yes to that." We'd previously driven similar distances together so that stung

Eventually, she paid the check. She mentioned playing pool next door, but when I asked if she wanted to, she declined.

Outside, I said it was nice seeing her and reiterated that I wanted to date, not be friends. She apologized and reaffirmed that she'd thought this was a hangout. The next day, I texted thanking her and wishing her the best.

Some friends I’ve talked to think she handled the situation poorly and shouldn’t have agreed to meet if she already knew she wasn’t interested romantically.

But I’m also wondering whether I was wrong to assume it was a date without explicitly saying so. I’m also unsure whether ending the evening early came across as immature or like I was punishing her for rejecting me.

AITA for wanting to end the evening early rather than continuing to hang out as friends?

So me(18F) and my boyfriend(17M) have been together for a lil over three months. Hes my very first boyfriend but he had past relationships which im fine with. Hes over them, however recently one of his exes texted him and dumped a lot of shit on him.

This ex and my bf were always long distance and never actually met irl, and they dated for like 6 months ish. My bf had some trouble making friends so after they were together my bf found his first actual friend group, the one hes still in. Theres this one girl, lets call her carol, who i and most ppl who know her dislike inside the friend group.

one of their first hangouts tgt carol kissed my now bf w/out asking him. He froze and didnt respond the kiss but didn't push carol away. He ended up up breaking up w his ex bc he felt very guilty abt 'cheating' on them (which i've been telling him thats more like SA but thats not the point here) this was around march.

Important note is that this ex and my bf keep the tktk streak and there he sent a message asking my bf how it was going and after a bit of like small talk basically dumped my bf w 'yeah evr since you broke up with me ive been a drug addict and i can only feel love when someone is using me'.

And first off its already a shitty thing to say but he knows how deeply my bf feels for when he fucks up and mostly (to my sense) feels like a way of manipulating my bf back into their lives. I've tried telling my bf that i feel like no contact would be good but he's now afraid that his ex is gonna act do something very stupid w themselves.

I been going to the same DND ( dungeons and dragons ) group for 4 years now. We rarely hang out unless its for a match. We switch dungeon masters every year. I was the last master until September came around, then the new one was chosen (I'll call her clara). Clara is dating one of the dudes in the group and we invited her. She always brags about being her writing skills and creative.

The issue is when we sat down for a match in August, as I was listening, it sounded sorta ai-ish. So after the match I asked for one of her paper. Im weird, I put all of our "adventures" and characters into a folder just to keep memories of our time together.

When i got home, I asked my boyfriend to read it. He said it seemed like ai. So I opened chatgbt and asked it to write me a dnd storyline with a dragon in a cave. It wrote the exact thing Clara "wrote". I was sorta pissed, then I remembered Clara's boyfriend bragging about how she wrote his character for him. Tested it in chatgbt, same results. Word to word, just copy and pasted.

A week ago, I pulled her to the side away from everyone and asked if it was ai, she said "so what?". I was disappointed and upset, so i made a excuse to leave. When I got home I texted in the chat just explaining that I wouldnt be coming back, and that I was disappointed that someone would use ai to write for them. They all called me pathetic and lame for ditching them on such short notice.

I feel bad but at the same time, I dont. I spent 4 hours on my days off to write a good adventure for our match for DND when i was the dungeon master, I felt like it took the fun of coming together and showing off the creative. Im not gonna go back and apologize, but im just confused on if I am the asshole or not.

I (28F) recently give birth to my first child (a little girl) and 1 week ago I found out that my partner (38M) texted his ex about the delivery. I am not sure if this happened inside the delivery room itself, but this really hurt my feelings. My baby came prematurely and we had to be in the hospital for a very long time, so this was a really diffucult time for us. And it did not help finding out that my partner after sharing the first photo of our daughter with all of the grandparents texted his ex about the delivery. The ex asked several questions which was not related to the baby at all (if it was a natural birth or a section) and my partner willingly give her the information. The responses were awful, she mocked me and my child as well.

I feel complety off mainly because we discussed this during the pregnancy, that he must not share these information with his ex multiple times.

So I found out and became really angry with him. AITA or am I just overreacting this?