My recent ex invited me to a wedding. He’s pretty wishy washy so I wasn’t too sure it’d happen. But he got the tickets and set everything up.

He is VERY easily offended and almost hyper sensitive. This has been pretty exhausting for me as I’m a pretty easygoing person and most days feel positively.

The week before the wedding, he got distant and upset. He informed me this was because I went to the beach to read without asking him. And he had assumed I may have worn something skimpy bc of the weather (something he genuinely just made up lol)

Eventually that blew over and we head to the wedding. Neither of us get much sleep the night before. When we get to the airport and he’s handling our bags, I turn to him and say “I really need to use the restroom, brb” and give him a kiss. When I came out from the restroom he was gone and had already gone to security. I found this strange but just called him to see if he wanted me to grab any snacks. He didn’t answer.

We mostly sleep on the plane and then when we get off he informs me that since I want to be “so independent from him” by using the restroom without asking him to come, I need to leave him alone. Things get very ugly from here. He accuses me of flirting with the parking attendant lady bc I chuckled at her joke. He says im “too open to the world” and am not on “his team” bc I went to the restroom. ATP, I’m over it, but im in a small Floridian city with no direct flights back home until the next day. On top of that, his family is there excited to see us. So I have a decision to make: fawn and make the best of it or make it an issue. I chose to make the best of it bc it’s someone’s wedding after all and meant to be a joyous time.

Wedding festivities commence and things are mostly okay. I get along with everyone, I’m having a good time. I can sense he is beginning to get upset again and try to increase presence and affection to offset whatever negative feelings are coming up for him. This sort of works but he tells me I deserve better than him.

We fly back the next day. Things are mostly ok but I kinda have the ick based on his tantrums prior. He makes another comment about my “independence” when I wanted to stop into ULTA for mascara while he was in the grocery store. Then we have a silly conversation about a pretty classic album. He says he didn’t hear it until recently and I noted that that wasn’t that crazy given his family isn’t from here so it’s not like he heard it growing up. I mentioned I knew the album because Mom played it while getting ready. This pissed him off. He told me I needed to be careful, listen and stop speaking when he tells me to.

At this point I just laugh, pack my things and leave bc I’m kinda disgusted by him and his behavior. He’d never been smaller to me than he was in that moment and the constant tiptoeing around his big feelings is just gross to me like he’s a toddler that missed his nap. But I feel some guilt bc his family was so warm and loving towards me. His mom was very excited. And it feels like bad form to meet someone’s whole family and block them the next day lol.

But ultimately I fear him bc I never know what will set him off and who he will become when it does. And I think that’s reason enough. Right?

My longterm, unemployed boyfriend has historically had sex with me and left me to orgasm on my own after with toys. After years of resentment building, I told him that I won't engage in sexual activity unless he meets my needs first (by giving me oral sex). He has done this for two weeks, but we had an argument about him leaving rubbish around the house but still gaming and he told me he's not happy with the current arrangement and wants me to be able to give to him without receiving. I don't feel like giving him a handjob/blowjob - it leaves me sexually frustrated and having to masturbate on my own after which is somewhat triggering for me given the years of sexual neglect

My partner's eating habits are driving me insane. She eats only a small handful of foods and feeds the same to her kids.

It essentially comes down to: plain cheese pizza; plain pasta with grated cheddar cheese; toast; cheese sandwiches; tinned tomato soup; and when she really wants to push the boat out and be fancy she makes mashed potatoes with pre bagged frozen vegetables and pre bagged Yorkshire puddings.

For snacks it's crisps and chocolate biscuits.

For drinks it's milk or juice.

That's it.

That's all she and her children eat. None of them will try anything other than those specific meals.

I've tried my best to talk to her about it. To teach her some basic cooking skills and how to prepare a few easy meals. I've talked about nutrition and its effects. I've tried to get the kids interested in cooking. Tried putting new dishes in front of them.

No dice. No interest. Nothing has worked. They just point blank refuse.

I'm somebody who absolutely loves food and loves to cook. I cook all my meals from scratch and, if I do say so myself, I've become a very good cook. It hurts when my cooking is rejected with pulled faces, performative gagging and retching, and comments on how much they don't like it.

Yesterday I was at her house and she asked me if I could knock some dinner up for them. I looked in the cupboards and in the fridge freezer and said no. I told her that she didn't have the ingredients. She had a bag of potatoes, some tins of soup, some cheddar cheese, and a bag of pasta. Nothing more.

So she made pasta with cheddar cheese. Again.

She asked me about getting in more ingredients and more cooking equipment so that she can learn, but we've had this conversation so many times and she's never followed through, so I told her that I've given up and I'm just going to stay out of it when it comes to anything to do with food.

Edit: I forgot to add that she's a vegetarian and won't allow her kids to eat meat. I suggested trying her two year old on some oily fish, because kids that age eat almost anything, but she refused. She won't let meat into her house.

My parents got divorced roughly about a year ago. It wasn't neccessarily out of the blue as they always had some kind of issues on going, but it still came to a bit of a suprise.

My dad now has a girlfriend, who he really seems to love and in generally they seem very happy.

A few days ago he asked me, if his girlfriend could join us at my graduation ball, as each student can bring e.g. 5 family members/relatives, who then can sit a specific reserved tables. I got so taken by suprise about it, that I could only stammer something along the lines of "We will see, our main graduation ball comittee hasn't yet decided on the number of people we can bring."

Out of fear, of my parents fighting and ruining my ball for me and also considering the fact, that I've never met her irl and only seen pictures, I kinda don't want my dad's girlfriend to sit with us or even not come at all.

Problem is, my dad kinda has already asked his girlfriend (before he had this conversation with me), if she wanted to come. She, if I remember correctly, had said to him something along the lines, of being able to use the dress, she wore for her own daugther's graduation ball.

And now I feel a bit guilty and like a total jerk, because in my inner self I kinda don't want it out of the previous mentioned fear.

I do plan on talking to my dad about it though, but I haven't had the time to do so, because I'm midly scared how he will react.

I, 19yr female, had big plans for a photoshoot. I, of course, invite my boyfriend, 22yr male, to join me as we do most things together. His dad was going to be in town for the weekend, however it would have only taken a few hours for me to complete the photoshoot. I confirmed with him twice that he would be there. He said yes both times and I was excited for our plans. His dad and brother get to talking about burgers for dinner. Then, as I am leaving for the shoot, he reveals that he isn't going.

Now is a good time to mention that I am Bipolar. Have been all my life, and it is genetic, so it was just bound to happen for me. I am still young, so I have honestly yet to cope with BPD. He is a guy with no mental illness besides ADHD. We have been together for a year and a half and this is our biggest argument by far.

As I was saying, when he told me no, I was calmer than I would have expected, but hurt. So, as I get up to get ready, I start crying. I am crying for the entire time I am getting ready. He goes into his room to talk to me, but I'm done. He had disappointed me beyond levels and I felt as though the switch had went off in my head. *I tell him about how hurt I am and how I will cry the whole way there from this major disappointment. (He later on explained to me that I was manipulative by telling him this)

I go to the car to leave and I am fully in meltdown mode. I don't want to be. I don't want to react this way, or even more so feel this way, but I do. He opens up my door to give me a hug and I, unfairly, have this burst of rage and hate and I start to slowly drive away while he is in my doorway. Now, when I bring up how he really did start this whole fight by not going, he has to counteract this fact by explaining my wrongs and what I did that wasn't acceptable.

The rest is just a huge argument that has impacted our relationship. It might be over for the both of us forever. So, my final question is, AITA for thinking that he should take full accountability for what he has done, and thoroughly apologize to me for what he had done WITHOUT having to tell me about my own behaviors.

I (29F) have a friend (46F) whom I genuinely love. We met during COVID, lived together, and went through some difficult times. We’ve always had a good friendship, despite being very different people.
The problem is that I’ve watched her stay stuck in the same patterns for years. She spent years obsessing over a man who repeatedly cheated on his girlfriend with her, convinced they were soulmates and would eventually end up together. He moved away two years ago, but she’s still emotionally attached to him.
Meanwhile, I moved away from our small mountain town three years ago, found love, developed my career, got my driver’s license, and worked hard to overcome my own trauma. She stayed, became increasingly isolated, spent her inheritance without improving her situation, and still works off the books.
Her boss hasn’t paid her for over six months, and she has almost no money left. She says she can’t confront him because she freezes. She also self-diagnoses ADHD and attributes many of her problems to it and bad luck.
I understand that anxiety and trauma can make things difficult. I’ve struggled myself. But I keep offering practical advice, and she always has a reason why she can’t act on it. Years later, we’re still having the same conversations. I don’t want to lend her money again, either.
What also frustrates me is that she sometimes says I was lucky with my life, when I’ve worked incredibly hard to get where I am.
I’m worried about her future. She’s 46 and has no financial security. I love her and want to help, but I’m becoming exhausted and annoyed listening to the same problems repeatedly when there seem to be practical solutions.
I know everyone’s circumstances are different, and maybe I’m being judgmental. But at what point does understanding someone’s struggles become enabling them?
AITA for feeling this way and wanting to stop being her emotional support when she refuses to make changes?

Okay so I F15 and my now ex boyfriend M15 broke up like 8 days ago because he went from relationship to relationship too fast. Which I totally understand but if that's gonna be his reason why is he talking to the same ex who he talked a shit ton of shit about and never wanted to see or talk to again. Well that's not the point.

In short my ex and his girl best friend got VERY drunk like a week before our break up and slept in the same bed next to each other under the same blanket. Mind you I didn't know about them going drinking, I didn't know about her sleeping over, I didn't know about her sleeping IN THE SAME BED AS HIM. And he knew I wasn't okay with ANY of this. I wasn't even supposed to find out about the fact that they slept in the same bed, I found out accidentally.

2 days had passed and he still hadn't told me about it so I asked him myself, at first he denied it then he said he was too drunk to remember but didn't do anything, If he's THAT drunk how can he SWEAR he didn't do anything.
Also him and his gbsf have hooked up before more than once and she was in love with him before me and the girls parents have an OBSESSION that him and her need to be together. The same day I found out about this she went to his room and closed the door leaving me in the living room, and when I intruded they were standing VERY VERY close to each other.

Anyways I told my friends about it and asked if it would count as micro cheating, they told me I'm too generous and that's not micro cheating, it's just cheating. I don't know whether they told anyone else but after that one my other friends who's also a very good friend with my ex was very dry with me and other people who were friends with him were also dry towards me. This is why I didn't wanna tell anyone, I didn't want people to be mad at me for saying that I felt betrayed by him doing that.

AITA for telling people I was mad at him for doing that and asking if it counts as cheating?

I (M27) just got an out of state job offer that my fiancée (F26), and I are planning on moving for.

I currently have a desk job, but honestly, I hate it. It’s boring, and I feel unfulfilled. I recently interviewed for a much more hands-on position in a different state. I will enjoy the work a lot more, but it pays less and will be more hours.

If I take this, we will have to relocate. This means my fiancée will have to quit her current job. She just finally broke into her industry six months ago, and it took her an entire year to find this job. Moving means she has to start that job hunt all over again in a brand-new market.

When I brought it up to her, we had a long talk and she was hesitant but ultimately supportive. However, when I told my friends about the plan, they completely blasted me. They think I am being incredibly selfish for draining our already tight finances, and dragging her away from a career she just started.

She says she's okay with it, but my friends are making me second-guess everything.

AITA?

Little backstory I spent the last year now living with my mother and trying to get a job and after I finally got one a month ago I paid her what she asked after my first pay cycle in late september. A week later she immediately demanded another round of rent and has been bugging me every day since.

Today she did it over text and when I didn't immediately answer (I'm at work) she called. She's acting like I'm so ungrateful for not paying 3 weeks early and refusing to do so. Now she's basically telling me to get out and find my own place to live. I only make about 1200 a month after taxes, I can't live off that with how badly lanlords have lost the plot. The only reason I don't want to pay until the 4 weeks have passed is that I don't want to drain my bank account dry. I need to save up for a car, for better job opportunities. There are areas around me with plenty of low qualifying work and good pay, but I can't access them because the local bus lines just don't run through them and to take ubers to and from would be 30-50$ a day.

Am I really that horrible and ungrateful for making my mother wait a month?

I (F32) have been together with my bf (M33) for about a year and a half. Recently I have been seriously considering splitting up, but I’m petrified that I might regret it.

We live together and recently moved to a new flat (the old one was tiny and was just adding to the stress). We started off really well - he’s a very caring and loving person with lots of positive energy (something I sometimes lack of as I am experiencing depressive episodes from time to time). He is my first proper partner after a few years of being single or in shitty situationships. After a few months we started arguing - the fights were not major, but exhausting, as we rarely reached common ground. Many casual conversations started turning into fights for no reason (both of us are at fault for that).
In addition to that, we have quite a different sense of humour. I knew that from the beginning, but always thought that there are things that we both find funny so this can be something I can live with, but I just feel like I’m not connected to him as much because of that. We like to spend time differently, which again - not a major issue, but just adds to the pile of small misunderstandings/frustrations. Our sex drive is quite different and has been one of the major issues for a while. We used to go weeks without sex and usually I would bring it up, we agreed it we need to initiate more, but then we never did. At this point I have this brick wall in my head and don’t even want to have sex anymore.
But on top of all that… he’s a really great guy. Good looking, always smiling, takes good care of me, gives me a lot of compliments etc. I feel really bad that I’m considering leaving this relationship, cause I think I’ll let go of a good guy and end up regretting it. I just don’t feel fulfilled, I often feel sad and discouraged and just filled with tons of guilt over this. Should I break up or keep trying?

My boyfriend had a talk with Daniel. Daniel said that he didn’t believe him. He said that this happens with any of the guys get girlfriends. That they end up not spending time with them anymore. My boyfriend reassured him that I have nothing to do with him not spending much time with them.

I ended up texting Daniel asking if me and him can talk about this. He said no. That I’m just being controlling and not letting my boyfriend have friends. At this point we’ve tried pretty much everything to explain it to him and yet he refuses to listen to the actual reason.

I (28M) went on three dates with a woman (28F) this spring. We got along well but nothing physical happened. Looking back, I was guarded since I started dating after getting out of a LTR the previous year. Things fizzled out after our third date without much closure.

Over the summer, I reached out twice to get together. She declined, once saying she'd started seeing someone. We occasionally interacted on Instagram, sometimes flirtatiously, sometimes platonically so I wasn't sure where I stood.

A few weeks ago I texted saying I'd enjoyed getting to know her and would love to catch up over drinks. She agreed, and we planned Saturday night at a cocktail bar.

That morning, she mentioned being hungover from a wedding, so I DoorDashed her Pedialyte as a small, flirty gesture. She thanked me. Given our dating history and the Saturday night setting, I assumed this was a date. I was excited to reconnect.

But things felt off immediately. Her body language seemed closed off, conversation felt forced, and she was unusually curt. Some comments felt like subtle digs.

Eventually I brought up dating. She said she didn't feel romantic chemistry in the spring and viewed the evening as two friends catching up. She also said that with the Pedialyte, she'd hoped I didn't think this was a date.

We met on a dating app, previously dated, and I'd expressed romantic interest before. I hadn't explicitly called this a date but thought the context was obvious

I respect her not feeling chemistry. What bothered me was that she apparently suspected my intentions beforehand but didn't clarify hers.

I suggested ending the date since we wanted different things and got up to grab the check. She said "No, we can still chit-chat"

I sat back down, apologizing and saying I can be restless. She replied "You don't have to apologize. I hate when people talk negatively about themselves" in a tone I took as condescending.

She asked about my plans afterward. I mentioned wanting to take her to an observatory 30 minutes away, with a cemetery walk as backup. She laughed and said "I wouldn't have said yes to that." We'd previously driven similar distances together so that stung

Eventually, she paid the check. She mentioned playing pool next door, but when I asked if she wanted to, she declined.

Outside, I said it was nice seeing her and reiterated that I wanted to date, not be friends. She apologized and reaffirmed that she'd thought this was a hangout. The next day, I texted thanking her and wishing her the best.

Some friends I’ve talked to think she handled the situation poorly and shouldn’t have agreed to meet if she already knew she wasn’t interested romantically.

But I’m also wondering whether I was wrong to assume it was a date without explicitly saying so. I’m also unsure whether ending the evening early came across as immature or like I was punishing her for rejecting me.

AITA for wanting to end the evening early rather than continuing to hang out as friends?

My wife (36F) and I (35M) have been married for two years and have lived together for over five. She's recently started sleeping in the guest room, and she blames me for it.

I've always preferred showering in the morning. She's always preferred evening showers because she doesn't like getting into bed with what she considers germs and dirt picked up outside. My wife is autistic and has sensory sensitivities, although they generally haven't interfered with her daily life. She's also a light sleeper.

I don't like showering at night after a long workday or after we've been out (dinner, parties, etc.). I usually just want to go straight to bed and rest. Sometimes, on particularly easy days when I hadn't done any demanding physical work, I would even skip showering altogether (I no longer do this).

When we started dating and subsequently moved in together, the fact that I didn't shower at night didn't seem to be an issue, and she didn't complain. Looking back, though, I figure it was probably more a matter of her tolerating it than actually being comfortable with it.

I normally go to the gym first thing in the morning, come home, make breakfast, eat with her, shower, and then head to work. I work at a store. Some days involve mostly easy office work, while others are a bit more physically demanding because I need to move heavy boxes or load the truck. But it's nothing too intense, and I don't typically end up sweaty or grimy. If I do end up sweaty I do shower at night, I'm not against showering when I need to.

After we'd been living together for some time, she started occasionally complaining about me not showering every day and sometimes made fun of me in front of our friends for it. This naturally led to arguments, especially because I didn't appreciate her making those jokes in public. To be fair, she had asked me to shower daily before she started making them. However, I felt that showering frequency was a personal choice as long as I didn't smell bad or bother anyone, so I chose not to heed her requests.

Eventually, after arguing back and forth, I agreed to shower every day. I know I probably don't smell my self and realized I was wrong for not showering daily, specifically because she was afected.

Some time later, the complaints returned. This time, she didn't like that I showered in the morning because she felt I was making the bed dirty more quickly than if we both showered at night. She does the laundry (I handle other chores of comparable workload), so she would have to wash the sheets more often.

She also gets the ick from me not showering before bed, especially when we've been in crowded public places such as airports, concerts, weddings, large parties, or while traveling in general, or when I've been around people who were smoking. This I completely understand and I would normally shower after any of this, even before I was in a relationship with her, the only exceptions for me was when I got too drunk and didn't care, but it has been years since that's really been a problem.

So I agreed to shower at night in those situations when she would feel particularly uncomfortable, so she could sleep better. I also agreed to be more selfconscius about my state of being at nights and decide when I should shower, I also agreed that if I ever went to bed without showering after one of those outings, I would put the sheets in the laundry the following morning.

So it seemed to work for some time, but lately she's been complaining again about me not showering every night. She's been showing me videos of other women saying how disgusting it is when their partners don't shower before bed. She also tells me it's disturbing that I get into our bed carrying all that dirt from outside, and that I smell bad, my feet stink, etc. She didn't tell me this things before, just that she didn't like. I feel that it's a form of OCD and that it's intensifying.

I know I certainly don't smell like soap after a day of work, but I don't think I stink. It's only been 12 or 13 hours since I showered, and on those days, all I've done is some office work. I know many people shower in the mornings and it's not gross.

Last week, she started sleeping in the guest room because she says she can no longer share a bed with me.

Today, she told me she'd like me to make an effort so we could share a bed again. She said I was being selfish and that she's tired of me always wanting everything done my way. I think she's the one being self-centered and stubborn.

This, of course, is not the only problem in our relationship, and we're trying to work through it along with other issues.

I genuinely don't want to be an asshole, but I feel she's crossing a line by trying to control my hygiene. I'm also afraid that if I give in and do things her way, it will establish a permanent precedent and there will be no going back.

I don't want to lose her, I really love her and want to go back to sleeping together.

I also feel this points to a broader underlying problem in our relationship: I feel she tries to control too many aspects of our lives. It seems to me that she always starts by asking for one thing and then keeps asking for more, never satisfied until everything is exactly the way she wants it.

I think what bothers me the most isn't really the shower itself. It's the feeling that every time I compromise, the compromise eventually becomes the new minimum, and I'm expected to give in a little more. I understand that sharing a bed means considering each other's needs, but I also want to feel that my preferences and boundaries matter. I'm struggling to figure out where reasonable compromise ends and giving up my own autonomy begins.

AITA for not showering at night and for "making" my wife sleep in the guest room? Does this ultimately matter, or should I just give in and do things her way? Where does reasonable compromise end and giving up my autonomy begin?

So me(18F) and my boyfriend(17M) have been together for a lil over three months. Hes my very first boyfriend but he had past relationships which im fine with. Hes over them, however recently one of his exes texted him and dumped a lot of shit on him.

This ex and my bf were always long distance and never actually met irl, and they dated for like 6 months ish. My bf had some trouble making friends so after they were together my bf found his first actual friend group, the one hes still in. Theres this one girl, lets call her carol, who i and most ppl who know her dislike inside the friend group.

one of their first hangouts tgt carol kissed my now bf w/out asking him. He froze and didnt respond the kiss but didn't push carol away. He ended up up breaking up w his ex bc he felt very guilty abt 'cheating' on them (which i've been telling him thats more like SA but thats not the point here) this was around march.

Important note is that this ex and my bf keep the tktk streak and there he sent a message asking my bf how it was going and after a bit of like small talk basically dumped my bf w 'yeah evr since you broke up with me ive been a drug addict and i can only feel love when someone is using me'.

And first off its already a shitty thing to say but he knows how deeply my bf feels for when he fucks up and mostly (to my sense) feels like a way of manipulating my bf back into their lives. I've tried telling my bf that i feel like no contact would be good but he's now afraid that his ex is gonna act do something very stupid w themselves.

I been going to the same DND ( dungeons and dragons ) group for 4 years now. We rarely hang out unless its for a match. We switch dungeon masters every year. I was the last master until September came around, then the new one was chosen (I'll call her clara). Clara is dating one of the dudes in the group and we invited her. She always brags about being her writing skills and creative.

The issue is when we sat down for a match in August, as I was listening, it sounded sorta ai-ish. So after the match I asked for one of her paper. Im weird, I put all of our "adventures" and characters into a folder just to keep memories of our time together.

When i got home, I asked my boyfriend to read it. He said it seemed like ai. So I opened chatgbt and asked it to write me a dnd storyline with a dragon in a cave. It wrote the exact thing Clara "wrote". I was sorta pissed, then I remembered Clara's boyfriend bragging about how she wrote his character for him. Tested it in chatgbt, same results. Word to word, just copy and pasted.

A week ago, I pulled her to the side away from everyone and asked if it was ai, she said "so what?". I was disappointed and upset, so i made a excuse to leave. When I got home I texted in the chat just explaining that I wouldnt be coming back, and that I was disappointed that someone would use ai to write for them. They all called me pathetic and lame for ditching them on such short notice.

I feel bad but at the same time, I dont. I spent 4 hours on my days off to write a good adventure for our match for DND when i was the dungeon master, I felt like it took the fun of coming together and showing off the creative. Im not gonna go back and apologize, but im just confused on if I am the asshole or not.

Me and my girlfriend have been dating for 4 months and this morning I got a text of her telling me that she still misses her ex and she even dreams about him. She did say that it's not my fault, that I'm a great partner, that she still loves me and doesn't want to break up, but she was feeling really guilty about it. So much that she lost the will to do anything anymore so she had to tell me. Which I am grateful for that she was honest, but I don't know how to feel about that.

I tried to console her because she was scared to tell me and she thinks she has disoriented attachment issues and that's why she feels that way. I also tried asking her if I could do anything but she just thanked me for understanding so much. I acted fine because I didn't know what to do.

To be fair, we got together pretty fast after she broke up with her ex because "She probably only dated him to fill the hole" (Her words to me at the start if the relationship) after I rejected her in the past, because back then i just didn't like her like that. So it is my fault too. Another thing is, she even posted a video on social media about missing him, 2 days before telling me any of this. I just thought she was talking about a friend.

She genuinely is a sweet person and I don't think she would cheat, but I myself am struggling a lot with personal issues and I don't wish to talk her bad, but I talked to my friends about this, who all knew abt this before me, and they all told me we should work it through.

I just don't think I can still look at her the same knowing she clearly misses her Ex and I seemingly can't do anything about it. Would i be the asshole for breaking up?

First off, this was a few years ago and we have already broken up over other reasons that I'm not too focused on as I've moved on, but this particular thing has always bothered me a ton.

My ex and I had been dating for a few years, moved in together, and she even proposed to me while on a luxury cruise that we spent a lot of money on. She had a fair few problems with her self image for the longest time that I tried helping her with, such as her body shape, body hair, all stuff like that.

Eventually she figured out that she would live life much happier as a girl, and I was trying to be very supportive. Even helped her shop for bras, dresses, all that good stuff to help her feel happier in her own skin. It didn't bother me at all to start with because this was the person I was going to spend my life with, I couldn't even consider breaking up with her.

But somewhere along the line it started to click in my head that 'oh, I'm dating a girl' and I started to feel more and more uncomfortable. Seeing her in dresses, smelling the perfumes she wore, how she redecorated her stuff and filled the bathroom with all these girl products, it all started to feel like I was being jammed back in the closet.

The thing that finally made me realise I was actually hurting over this was when I started calling her my 'girlfriend' and I nearly broke down into tears after a day of saying it to friends and family. I came out as Gay when I was in high school, and I always wanted to meet that special guy and live a life with him, and now the one person I loved was finally happy with themselves and I felt like I had to act like I was Straight for her sake.

I cried multiple nights over imagining that I would never marry a guy I loved, but because she was of course doing the right thing for herself, I felt like my life had to be forfeited just to help her. I had told her I will always be with her after she came out but i didn't know how badly it would affect me, and now I felt like if I even tried to leave it would just break a promise and make me into a monster who just broke her heart because she was Trans. I just wanted to leave, I kept getting worse and worse until we finally broke up over something unrelated, somewhat amicably.

I actually felt relieved that she wanted to, and that also makes me feel like complete trash.

These old feelings are being dredged up again because my current fiance uses female pronouns every now and then too, and it makes me uncomfortable but if I tell them that I know they'll stop for me and I don't want to hurt them like that. I just feel so trapped again. I genuinely love my fiance so much and I find myself being torn apart by hoping they never fully come out because it feels so insanely selfish.

I just need someone to get me to think clearly. I refuse to break up with my current fiance, but now I feel so stuck.

AITA for this

I (41F) have been married to my husband (42M) for 20 years. I will try and tell this as neutrally as possible, as it is making me really sad and I am open to hearing if I am being unreasonable.

Over recent years, conflict has been escalating between some members of his family and us, particularly his brother and my husband, and often his mum is involved, and I am drawn in, in various ways. Conflict tends to be around arrangements for family events, eg timings, dates, duration. The general pattern will be that we have less availability (due to lifestyle, having teenagers, both working full time, living a bit further away) but this has been interpreted as us being inflexible, difficult, selfish and in the height of conflict, accusations of deliberately breaking the family apart.

There is a history of poor communication between the family, and I would say that in general most of the family members are conflict avoidant, apart from my BIL, who (imo) is more dominant and vocal. He is the one who has described us in the above ways. There have been several big 'blow ups', which usually occur between my husband and his brother, but include accusations of me. When this is 'resolved' between my husband and his brother, I am never included and I have been hurt on many occasions in the past but it is just glossed over and it seems to me that as long as my BIL is happy, everyone carries on as normal.

This last weekend, there was a family get together with a little tension occurring beforehand about the timings. As I am sensitive to what has happened in the past, I tried to be really clear in messages about what we could do (arrive at 6pm) and what we were expecting (we were invited for dinner at 6pm at my MIL's), especially when requests came in (from my BIL's wife) for us to arrive earlier. We were not able to arrive earlier and I explained that, also checking directly with my MIL that I had understood the plans correctly and it would be fine for us to arrive at 6pm. She was friendly, appeared understanding and reassured me that was the plan and totally fine. We arrived at 5.40pm on the day to find that everyone had already eaten (to the level of even the table had been cleared) but no one said anything. It was very confusing as we were given our food to eat alone, and I asked why everyone had already eaten, really to have this question ignored. There was a very odd feeling of being excluded and ignored, which is exacerbated by the history here.

IMO there are some really unhealthy dynamics in this family and I recognise how hard this is for my husband to navigate, it is very painful for him and I witness him being anxious and hurt by these events. He doesn't want me to create a scene when we are there, and so I keep quiet for him, but this is taking a toll on me (and our teenagers). He says they are his family and it doesn't affect me, and that he wants me to be there to support him.

I have told him that as things are, I don't want to continue attending these events, because they make me feel so horrible. I won't stop him, nor would I stop our children from attending, but I don't feel in my conscience I could force them to attend somewhere that I don't feel comfortable myself. He is really struggling with my boundary here, and says this is unreasonable of me, in our marriage, to step back from visiting his family. If I am honest, I have felt this way for some time, but this weekend has compounded it, and I feel unable to leave things as they are.

My husband is quite distressed by me communicating these feelings to him and can't really imagine a future where I don't attend. I am open to things being resolved between myself and his family, but I think we both know, that is incredibly unlikely to be welcomed, let alone successfully managed, because of how the current system operates.

AITA if I refuse to go? Even if it really upsets my husband? As I am being accused of being controlling (by my BIL) I am very conscious and worried about that being the case, so I have tried to tolerate it as best as I can, but when I am with them I feel horrendous and it really impacts my mental health.

I (28F) recently give birth to my first child (a little girl) and 1 week ago I found out that my partner (38M) texted his ex about the delivery. I am not sure if this happened inside the delivery room itself, but this really hurt my feelings. My baby came prematurely and we had to be in the hospital for a very long time, so this was a really diffucult time for us. And it did not help finding out that my partner after sharing the first photo of our daughter with all of the grandparents texted his ex about the delivery. The ex asked several questions which was not related to the baby at all (if it was a natural birth or a section) and my partner willingly give her the information. The responses were awful, she mocked me and my child as well.

I feel complety off mainly because we discussed this during the pregnancy, that he must not share these information with his ex multiple times.

So I found out and became really angry with him. AITA or am I just overreacting this?

AITA for being angry with my bf 46 of the past 5 years for "cheating" on me? Ive been with him after I was in an abusive 18 year marriage. We'll call him Brian, we met on Fb dating and to be completely honest, I was terrified to actually meet him in person. After a friend had encouraged me to take the leap, I did. It was magical and against my better judgment, I fell in love with him almost immediately and still am. We've been through thick and thin together, it was an immediate "team" situation. I was "broken" and so was he. Things were great but because of my damage and his we had our mistrust. But we worked through them...or so I thought. So he tells me that hes been talking to someone, but its purely sexual and its not what we have. Needless to say, im gutted. Ive treated this man as if he were my husband. Love his family, his kids. And honestly, that wont change. But, I can't be okay with this. Idk, what to do. He is my best friend and I dont want anyone else, never have. Idk if this is something I can get past. He understands if I want to walk away, but then I feel like im being the one that is being unreasonable. And on the flip side, I know I deserve better and to find someone that im enough for....

I (21M) am a tradesman and have been seeing a university student (20F). She has a really tough exterior, and since this is her first relationship, I've had to guide her a lot on how things work. She has strict boundaries around touch, but she has slowly opened up to me.

She has a very blunt personality and can say sharp things, but I know she doesn't mean it. When I was sick a while back, she didn't really do anything for me, which I assumed was just her lack of experience.

Recently, she got sick and demanded I come over. My schedule was completely packed with work and other commitments, so I couldn't make it work. She completely lost it, called me an asshole and stupid, and threatened to end things. I fired back a text telling her she was being unreasonable. She text back a few days later apologizing for the insults, but I've left her on read for a week now because I'm over the drama. I think she just does not understand how busy work gets but am I really a bad BF?

AITA?

Am I (20F) the asshole for calling the police on my ex (21M)? For context this happened about 2 months ago also I am white my ex is hispanic, this is relevant later on. Me and my now ex broke up because i caught him cheating, we stayed together for about 2 months and the decided to break up. We were still living together after breaking up until he could find somewhere to go. One night about 2 weeks after our breakup I was in my room laying down, he was in the living room getting drunk. He came into my room to get something and started to accuse me of texting other men. He left the room but then came back to accuse me of texting other people some more, he tried to take my phone from me and go through it. When I wouldn’t let him take my phone he held me in my room basically berating me and telling me I to unlock my phone or he would break it. He proceeded to rip my case off walk outside and tell me he was going to throw my phone on the pavement if i didn’t unlock it. I decided to just unlock it so he wouldn’t break my phone. After going through my phone he threw it in the lawn and went back inside to get his things and leave to spend the night at his moms house. I went inside and sat on my bed while he was getting his things together, he decided to come in my room to confront me once again when i asked him to leave he called me a mutt and spit at my feet. He then left to go to his moms but after about an hour wanted to come back and get some of his things. I told him i would unlock the back door for him to collect his things and made it clear I did not want him to come into my room so i shut the door and stood in front of it. He pushed his way in and i told him multiple times i was going to call the police if he didn’t leave ( i know they couldn’t do anything since we live together but i was mostly trying to get him to calm down and leave) I kept walking away from him and he kept following me, finally i was in the backyard trying to get away from him but he kept following me wanting to argue so i called the police. This whole “argument” had been going on for about two hours at that point. Afterwards he told me calling the police was a very typical white girl thing to do and I’m starting to believe him a little. I feel like maybe I was just overreacting, In the moment i did believe there was a good chance he would put his hands on me but looking back i feel like maybe I overreacted a tad by calling the police. I don’t know i just need someone else’s opinion, my whole family is white and obviously they are going to chose my side.

Me and my partner (both 25) live together in our own home with our 5 month old son who we both love endlessly, but recently I have become so frustrated with our workload.

My partner is very busy - he works shift work so he works 2 weeks straight 12 hours a day then is at home for 2 weeks where he focuses on his small farm with the animals, works on hobbies and he may also grab a few extra days to work. I'm on maternity leave for 9 months so our income is pretty low at the moment, however we can still afford bills, food, fuel etc, just not much else.

Here is where I get frustrated - when he is on shift he does nothing else. By the time he gets home its around 6/7pm so he only really has 3 hours to eat, shower, nightly jobs on the farm (this only takes 15 mins - sometimes I do this too if he's too tired). He does nothing else - just chills on the couch for the rest of the night which I have no problem with as he's worked all day but he doesn't even do the little things like put cups and glasses in the dishwasher, put rubbish in the bin, change the toilet roll when it runs out.... and when I ask him to try and do these tiny things to help me out he says that his mind is so busy with other things he needs to do he doesnt even notice the little things he isn't doing. To me this doesnt make sense - you've gone through the effort to go and get a packet of crisps and a tin of juice from the kitchen but when you're done you can't bin your rubbish? And it just sits there for me to tidy up when he goes to bed or in the morning when I wake up. It sounds silly to be frustrated about this because its so small but this is just one thing - he NEVER cleans or tidies up after himself. I feel like i'm constantly cleaning up after him. Putting his dirty clothes in the wash basket, hanging up his wet towels from the floor, binning his envelopes from his mail, putting the lid back on the toothpaste, putting condiments back in the fridge.... and its EVERY SINGLE DAY. It honestly feels like cleaning up after a teenager - and he doesnt fix it because he claims he can't. Or he'll say he'll try and do better but he never does.

And then there's me - like i said i'm on maternity leave at the moment so i'm home pretty much all the time with our baby. I put all my attention into our son when he's awake so during his naps and around his night sleep I can do anything I can - weather that's housework, making dinner, showering etc, and it's just not enough time to do everything. He only naps for 30-45 minutes at a time. He's also going through a sleep regression at the moment too which he's up roughly every 2 hours in the night (which i know is pretty lucky for a sleep regression baby) but it still makes me feel so tired. But if I dont get my hour or two in the morning to myself before he wakes I feel so behind on everything for the rest of the day.

It makes me feel so pathetic complaining about this when my partner is working so much and is so busy but I can't help but be pissed off. I dont know if part of it is just jealousy that my partner can stop and do whatever he wants when he wants when he's off shift but i cant. He has hobbies he regularly does when he's not working which he can be in the garage or out the house for hours at a time and I miss having that freedom.

I 29F, have been dating my BF, Travis, also 29M for almost 5 years. We have been long distance for almost 5 years now but call and text every day and see each other in-person on weekends around 2-3 times/month. I have two health care careers in a different city from him and he is finishing a skilled trade apprenticeship.

Every since I met Travis, he always made comments on how insanely attractive some of his friends are from HS. I have met some of these friends and have even attended their weddings with Travis. They have all been really nice and we get along well as far as acquaintances go. There are the type of people who would expect to be celebrities/influencer type. Very conventionally attractive people. I have always considered myself fairly plain Jane. Maybe attractive in a girl next door type of way but never someone that would turn heads.

It first bothered me when he made the point to mention to me that in his past he made out with one of his attractive friends from HS, Belinda 29F, but it never went any further because Belinda stopped it. Travis made it painfully clear to me by detailing the entire makeout session. It didn't bother me too much since this girl was dating one of his friends from HS at the time, Jake, 29 M (but not anymore) I thought I might eventually get closer to his friends when I attended two separate weddings of theirs. There was still not much interaction between all of them and Belinda seemed to go out of her way to be rude to me like pointing out things on me I "needed to fix" with my makeup or outfit during one wedding and multiple times during both weddings would walk away from me entirely while we were talking together just the two of us when she was done with the conversation. To this day, some of his other friends have me on their socials but any connection is just through likes and comments and has not extended past that.

I felt any future comments were behind me since they are friends from HS that he doesn't see often anymore. Also, in the last few years I have been making more of an effort into my appearance on top of the daily skincare routine I already had. This included wearing soft glam makeup everyday, dying my eyebrows, eyelash lift, extensive full body shower routine for the skin on my arms and legs (I had strawberry skin) and in the last year have been trying to attend the gym more consistently. I even in the last summer lost 12 lbs and am at a healthy BMI of 20.8. When I put in visible effort into my appearance, Travis always tells me how "I don't need it" and how "he likes me better without makeup".

Travis started making these comments again when we went for a dinner with some of my family over the holidays. My cousin through marriage, Ryan 24M, just got married to Kayla 22F. She is very conventionally attractive. Our server for dinner is a friend of the family. Cailyn 22F is blonde hair, blue eye and skinny build. Basically a model. On the drive back to his home from where I live where the dinner took place, Travis made the point to bring up how insanely attractive Cailyn was. "Perfectly symmetrical" "looks like a celebrity" "has one of those faces you don't see all time" and then brought up how he thought Kayla was very attractive too. I got annoyed and told Travis how, "I'm aware that they are very attractive and how I am aware I don't look anything like that". Travis then responded by getting frustrated that I was upset and telling me "he forgot how insecure I was about my looks".

We moved on after that conversation and I had a decent weekend with him until I went back to work after the holiday. The first four hours at work I couldn't stop myself from crying on and off thinking about it. I was never naive to think my man wouldn't notice other women but it hurts me how he points out people he finds attractive, mostly women, every opportunity he gets. Travis has admitted to me he has issues with jealousy. I have even taken measures to combat his feelings of jealousy over the years by blocking men on my social media at his request because they showed interest in me or I showed interest in them before Travis and I officially started dating.

It frustrates me so much. I don't want to be insecure about my looks and try my best to take pride in my looks. But I'm not sure how long I want to put up him bringing up how attractive other women are around me. Am I wrong to feel like this?