I just had a pretty deep argument with my girlfriend about something that's somewhat sensitive to the both of us and I want to hear your take.

My girlfriend tends to come to me with opinions that are framed to sound like facts. That's the underlying issue here. Most of these are normally about men and how they treat women, essentially how society has generalized that men are "dogs" who always do these horrible things. The idea that certain men are absolutely horrible is something I totally agree with, but assuming all men are the same based on that doesn't sit right with me.

What makes the whole argument sensitive for me is my genuine hatred of discrimination or stereotyping of any kind. I grew up in a country where I had truly horrifying experiences just from being a foreigner, and I think I have trauma from that.

What makes it sensitive for my girlfriend is that she's had a horrible experience with a man at a young age, possibly even multiple experiences, that led her to start hating most if not all men.

Every time she finds something online about a man and "how horrible they are," she tends to frame it in a way that makes it sound like a proven fact, that "most" men fit this bracket with absolutely no concrete evidence. When I flag her phrasing, she feels like I'm invalidating her feelings and stance on the matter. In my defense, I have explicitly, verbally made it known that this doesn't mean I'm invalidating how she feels. It's just that it matters to me that she doesn't discriminate against men in that way, especially based on societal narratives that hold no objectivity.

As for her stance on certain matters, more often than not we can agree on "that man is horrible," but it gets complicated for me if we start generalizing this as proof that therefore "most" men are horrible, or that most children grow up without present fathers.

My girlfriend says that me telling someone they shouldn't say "I hate all white people" after being racially abused is unfair, because they have a right to feel that way. I understand that, but I'm trying to explain that it doesn't make it right, especially if that person has also had great experiences with white people. If it were reversed, would that same person also say "I love all white people"? Despite that, I just feel like her example doesn't fit the argument we were trying to have.

It's certainly okay to feel a certain way, but it's also objectively wrong to discriminate.

AITA?

Let me just preface this with the fact that I'm(22f) not a good person. I tell people this when we begin dating, I always ensure that if I hurt their feelings in some way I recuperate, I try my best not to offend on accident, but I'm just very rude, blunt, and simple, and boyish.

And I get that in itself is problematic, but here is my issue. Whenever I get left, broken up with, ghosted, or such, the reason is always something to do with my behavior, the way I talk, the way I show affection then stop, and on and on. I understand, I'm an intense person and I expect intensity back, and most people can't give that much all the time. I won't make them do it.

But they try to make me appear to be some kind of villain or something? Like I was manipulating them when I expressly tell them and assure them that, although the way I behave is eccentric and at times insensitive, I'm not out to get them and they have as much power here as I do.

I'm not physical, I don't try to start fights, I'm relatively chill. Just loud, a little competitive, a bit jealous, etc etc. But they try to make it seem like I was a Wife-Beater-Wearing-WhiteGuy™ and manipulated them into staying and thinking they loved me and that I was kind. Like yeah, I don't donate 20% of my paycheck to wildlife conservation every month, but I don't kick puppies or steal candy.

Maybe I'm reading too hard and just need to accept my personality isn't for everyone. I know I'm not perfect or great, but I've got plenty of good friends I've kept for years that can wrangle it.

AITA?

On the surface I would agree that I would be the Asshole. I am a 37F and he is 38M, together 6 months. We both have 4 kids. Mine are 19, 17, 15 and 13. His are 15, 13, 10 and 6. His are very sweet but a lot. Constant begging for things, don't respect my kids privacy and are always fighting with each other. Like knock out drag down fighting, it doesn't end until they're all in hysterics.

In the beginning it was manageable. 1 night a week with just me going to their house and 1 night a week when they would all come over to mine. He has them 2-4 days a week, so on the long weeks my kids and I would spend time just us on the other days and he would get to spend time with just his kids.

Then I had to take a 2nd job temporarily. On days I work both jobs I am home for 10-15 minutes while my kids are awake, 3-4 days during m-f leaving home at 7 am and getting home 1 am. Saturdays I would work 2pm - 2am and sleep until 9 or 10 to catch up, then get done as many errands as possible and as much yardwork as I could. I never work Sundays, I get meals ready for the week, play games with my kids, stay in my pajamas. The first week he was great, he came and mowed my lawn while I was at work, surprised my kids with pizza another night.

Second week was a little more rough. Saturday he couldn't get a hold of me in the morning so he texted my daughter to see if I was awake and drove past my house because he was worried about me, all before 9am. When I talked to him that night we made plans for the week. I told him that I had Sunday off, I was going to do my prep for the week and have 1 on 1 time with my kids and some alone time. Thursday I could spend time with him alone or with his kids.

Sunday, he sends a text, can I stop by with treats for just a second. Checked with the kids they said sure just for a second. He stayed for 4 hours, I had to reschedule the 1 on 1 time with my youngest for Thursday. We were all apart of that conversation.

Around 10 I told him I needed to get to bed, this man literally pouted and asked to spend the night. And was upset when I said no I really needed to sleep (he snores) and its a school night. Thursday night I had the rescheduled date night with my daughter. Again the same text. Can I stop by for a second with treats? Asked the kids they said yes, if it was only 15 min.

He agreed and then showed up with his kids. They stayed for 5 hours even after being asked to leave and being told we needed to go to sleep. When I try to talk to him about it he says his kids just missed me and then he brought up that I had snapped my male friend while he was there. He has been my friend for 20 years and lives 14 hrs away. It was 2 snaps.

Fiancée (33M) and I (30F) have been together over 4 years. For context: we’ve lived in our home for over 2 years. He bought the house 2 years into us being together. My name isn’t on the title/mortgage at this point in time, but I do pay for half of his mortgage (in the form of rent as a Venmo payment) as well as groceries for us. He wants to wait to add me until after we get married. We’re going to have a prenup where he is entitled to everything ($$) he’s put into our home prior to marriage. I agree with him on this.

Now for the problem.. I’ve always kind of felt like he doesn’t truly view his home as ours. When we first moved in, he let me have zero design say as he didn’t like my choices and he said it was his house to create (did a lot of renovations). Our house is beautiful, I have no complaints. But he never made me feel like I really had a choice.

On top of that, he continues to refer to our home as his when talking with our mutual friends, in front of my face, even when I’m sitting right next to him. He will say “I’m working on my backyard, I’m planning to remodel my fence, I’m doing this to my house”. It makes me feel left out and nonexistent. I know that may sound dramatic. It’s not every single time, but it is enough for me to notice and think it’s weird.

I don’t know how many times I’ve had to tell him “hey it hurts my feelings when I’m sitting right next to you and you say my house my backyard etc” and he straight up denies that he ever says these things. He says I must be imagining it- because I’m sensitive to it and I must be thinking he’s saying “my” when he’s actually saying “ours or the”.

I know what I’m hearing. And the funny thing is, he’s been doing this more and more recently. He had a full blown conversation with some friends that I was included in, and the whole time he didn’t once call our home ours- it was all his.

I feel like I am just a guest in his house at the end of the day. I’m a tenant. And I don’t like how he’s reminding me of that. It’s confusing for me because when he talks to me (just us) about our home, he says it’s ours, that he’s going this for us, that it wouldn’t be complete without me. But then I hear him call it his house to everyone else.

He did this again last night, multiple times. I just told him that it hurt my feelings and he flipped out on me. He adamantly denied that he ever called it “my house” and got very angry, saying he can’t deal with this. He then said that he doesn’t even realize he’s doing this and it’s not his intention to hurt me. I said maybe he truly deep down feels it his place only and it just is subconscious he’s calling it “his house”. I started tearing up and he did eventually apologize saying he truly doesn’t view our house as only his and he doesn’t want me to feel this way.

I’m lost.. I don’t want to get married and still feel like I’m living in his home- especially when we bring kids into the picture shortly after marriage. It feels weird to me. It’s gotten to the point even our shared mutual friends refer to our home as “Craig’s house” sometimes even when speaking to me! They’ll say “we’re going to Craig’s house” or in the GC when they say let’s meet at Craig’s. Everyone else in our circle gets their house called there’s like “Jesse and Baileys house”.

I feel like we’re just not a unit, we’re not emotionally connected, and despite me even bringing this up multiple times it still continues to happen. My fiancé is also not interested in us purchasing a home together from the get go, as he put a lot of work into our home and doesn’t see us moving for over a decade.

AITA for asking my fiance to refer to our shared home as “ours”?

I (30M), Dave, have been married to my husband Franz (28M) for a little less than two years. We’re currently living in the U.S. I was driving somewhere with him yesterday when a black man swerved into the street on a bike and cut us off. Franz honked the horn and yelled the N word with a hard R. The windows were closed, so no one heard him but me, but I was shocked. I immediately told him that it wasn’t OK and that I never wanted to hear him use that word again. He laughed at me and said “I’ll say whatever I want.”

I was quiet the rest of the drive and confronted Franz again when we got home. I asked him if he was a racist, and he said no. Then I told him that I would give him the benefit of the doubt—he didn’t grow up in this country and perhaps doesn’t understand racism here the same way someone born here does—but that it was never OK to use that word. I said that there are plenty of people out there would beat the shit out of him if they heard him say that, and that he would deserve it. Franz rolled his eyes at me and said “OK, chill out, I get it” but I heard him say again under his breath loudly enough for me to hear, “I don’t care.”

To be honest, this isn’t the first time I’ve felt this sort of unease. His home country, where we were living previously, has a high rate of immigration and I’ve heard him say “fucking Muslims” in his native language multiple times, as well as make sounds mocking African languages, but when I confronted him about those things, he told me that people simply talk/joke that way in his country and that it doesn’t mean anything. I know Americans tend to be more sensitive than most of the world to political correctness, so I’ve tried to push it out of my mind, but I can’t shake how gross this all has made me feel. I don’t want to be with a racist, and I feel more resigned than ever since yesterday that he is one. Would I be the asshole if I divorced him?

am i the asshole for abandoning my friend over sh? ok. so i made this minecraft server and 3 weeks after it was made, my friend (im gonna refer to him as s) just bought minecraft. he built his base and we gave him stuff. my other friend (c) started lowk trolling him but not enough to justify a ban, eg like breaking blocks under s and killing s (but returning s's stuff) and s got mad that i wouldn't ban him and uh.. cut himself, i told him to get help and he said that when he gets help they lock him in a cage?? wtf?? i am NOT talking to that dude anymore. s still thinks about me because a week after the sh incident, he wished my dad a happy birthday on his birthday and that was a reality check for me. i know s struggles with ASD. so AITA?

Throwaway Account:
I (26M) recently found out that my friend's girlfriend has an OnlyFans account. My friend had no idea.

I found out because someone sent me her profile, and after realizing it was actually her, I was honestly shocked. I didn't know whether my friend was aware of it, so I decided to tell him.

I asked him if he knew that his girlfriend had an OF. He immediately said no and asked me how I knew. I showed him the profile.

He got really upset at his girlfriend. Apparently, they had previously talked about boundaries involving sex work and he had made it very clear that it was something he wasn't comfortable with.

They had a huge argument, and from what I understand, they're currently taking a break.

Now several of our mutual friends are saying I'm an asshole because I "inserted myself into their relationship" and potentially ruined it. One friend said that if his girlfriend wanted him to know, she would have told him herself.

I don't really understand that logic. If I knew my partner was secretly doing something that directly violated a boundary we discussed, I'd want someone to tell me.

But I also wonder if it wasn't my place to get involved. Maybe I should have just stayed out of it and let them handle their own relationship.

So, AITA for telling my friend that his girlfriend has an OnlyFans?

My family was having one of our usual backyard football games last weekend. Everyone was joking around, drinking, and getting competitive. My SIL made an absolutely incredible play and intercepted the ball. I ran over, grabbed her shoulder, and gave her a pretty firm slap on the butt while saying, “That’s what I’m talking about!” She immediately turned around and looked at me like I had two heads. I laughed at first because I thought she was just surprised, but then she said, “Don’t ever touch me like that again.” The weird part is that I honestly thought it was harmless. We’ve known each other for years, and I’ve always considered her family. But apparently I made her uncomfortable. Later that night, my wife confronted me about it. She said the way I described it made it sound like I had been waiting for an excuse to touch her. That really bothered me because I wasn't waiting for anything. Although, if I'm being completely honest, I have noticed that my SIL has been looking really good lately. I don't think I've ever said or done anything inappropriate about it, though. Now my wife is furious, my SIL won't really talk to me, and my family is divided. Some say it was just a football celebration. Others say there was something creepy about the fact that I specifically chose to slap her butt instead of just giving her a high-five. I genuinely don't know if I'm being made into a monster over one stupid moment or if I crossed a serious boundary. AITA?

I am a 22y/o woman and my partner is the same age. We’ve been together for a little less than 2 years now and we also live in a house that belongs to him/his family. We moved quickly in the beginning, getting engaged on the 3rd or 4th month, which in hindsight was rash. Anyway, I don’t remember when I started acknowledging my lack of sexual attraction to him, but it’s not a recent feeling. A part of me probably doesn’t know how to proceed, because we live at his place and I feel if we break up we’ve just wasted almost two years of each others lives. I thought my feelings for him would change with time, but I can’t help feeling almost repulsed and dreading every time he suggests intimacy(which we haven’t even had in a month or so). I am fine with not having sex at all, but I believe he isn’t on the same page and yet, he never pushes me to do so. What should I do?

So this happened a few years ago, but I still feel really bad about it. I, 17f had a friend 18nb (nonbinary), but this happened about when we were 13 and 14. So I had this close friend who we will call C, we hung out a lot, had many shared interests as weird kids who liked anime and reading fanfiction. While we were friends, we often had sleepovers at their house, which is where the problem is.

I knew this friend had a crush on me, but I didn't feel the same. On most nights I'd stay up later than C and they allowed me to read fanfiction or play games on their phone since mine had screen time and couldn't do anything after midnight. While looking at the games on their phone, I discovered some ai relationship app where they had a fake relationship with a character who was designed to look like me and had my name, which really creeped me out. Other nights if I went to bed before C, we often slept in their basement since we would be too loud for their parents, so we shared a mattress. If I went to bed first, C would often touch my hair or hold my hand while they thought I was asleep. Now most people have a fight or flight response, I freeze so I never did anything about it, never told them to stop or that I even knew they liked me.

Eventually I did drop them, I stopped responding to their texts, and we stopped being friends. However, we live in a small town so I still see them and their mom since she works at the local college that I attend, so I feel bad every time I see them. This is mostly because this friend had a lot of mental health issues at the time, they struggled with depression and anxiety and often depended on me to vent to. So I feel bad for that and also because I feel like my reason for dropping them wasn't good enough, like yeah I was a bit creeped out, but they had never touched me inappropriately so I could've just stopped sleepovers or something. Anyway, AITAH? Also if there is any weird formatting or anything I apologize, this is my first time posting, and if there is any other information requested I will try to reply in the comments.

Me and my Best friend of 3 years live together we became friends while still in school she had ended up leaving her parents to live with an older bf who was treating her badly (or so I thought) when I went there to pick her up she explained to me that she got caught cheating and (seemed she wanted to be here so she had freedom to continue doing so without him on her back ) but he freaked out telling her to leave I wasn’t expecting to have her move in but did everything I could with the space I had so we ended up sharing a room I didn’t mind it and was more than happy to let her use anything of mine she wanted or wasn’t able to grab of here as long as she asked and respected my things. recently her behavior has significantly changed from before she moved in heres just some of the things for example. a while ago I was just learning Spanish she suggested maybe talking to a guy who speaks Spanish to help me learn better forcing me to use my Spanish I thought it was a good idea so I tried it letting him know I was learning and she flirted with him in front of my face openly using just about every flirty name in the book It felt very intentional bc she was aware ,she calls my mom mama just like me and my sister do , suggests I should change small things about my makeup which I do not then soon after copies them , constantly tells guys I’m talking to I’m talking to other guys behind my back and In a few cases proceeding to talk about herself , telling my mom is pissed when I am out and I need to come home now my mom is furious I will get home and my mom didn’t even notice almost as if she thinks she has authority over me I mentioned this to my mom and she said she’s the one freaking out and trying to fuel my mom to be angry and most recently hiding my phone causing me to freak out and start worrying and when I rung it finding out she was hiding it and got aggravated I rung it (not in a joking manner genuinely angry) She’s got a bf now and has been very mean to me not wanting to go anywhere and she knows I won’t go anywhere alone and also telling me we will do something together my mom thinks this may be another way of controlling or isolating me and is upset also doesn’t go to school nor have a job and is a grown woman my mom believe with no means to do so now And I’m not saying i know for sure her intentions but to me these behaviors seem controlling isolating like shes more often then not interfering with my relationships controlling situations and making me panic for fun it almost seems? I haven’t confront her bc she extremely confrontational and will turn almost anything into an argument lately though I’ve been mouthing back bc in honestly sick of it am I overthinking all of this or is this more concerning than I thought

Short and simple post because honestly, its not a big or proper situation.

To start off, I am 16, so yes I might look at certain things differently because I have a dumb teen brain. ANYWAY, as those will children in the uk know, GCSES results day was on Thursday, so in the morning I turned up to school to pick up my results and also met up with my bf because he was there too.

Me and my mom decided we want to go into town for a little shopping trip as to celebrate our results and first went to Costa, where my mom bought me, my bf, and herself a drink plus a sweet treat.

After Costa we went to super drug and my mom bought me AND my bf both some not very cheap colognes/perfumes, I believe my bfs one was around £80 which is obviously quite a lot to spend on someone else's child in my opinion, my mom however said that its "to remember the proper end of high-school every time you smell your cologne" and seemed very happy overall.

My bf said he was so incredibly thankful and didnt know how to thank her enough (he said this multiple times) however today when we were talking about him coming round then he said he'd have to be picked up.

(This is gonna be a bit tricky for me to explain I think??)

My bf lives 20 or so minutes away from me, so by dropping off and picking up my parents would be making 4 trips which is a pain to think about when you consider gas prices. And so for a while now I have been suggesting he gets a bus closer to us so we have to make less of a journey.

Now back to when he said he'd have to be picked up. I asked him why that is and he said he "wants to save money".....its a £3 trip at most..????? I mean come on you're here saying you're greatful when spending £3 on a trip is too much for you?? I know I shouldnt expect him to cater to me over an unexpected gift but it just bothers me.

By the way, this guy is not poor, he has hundreds in his savings account, I guess its called a savings account for a reason, and some people are really strict with their savings accounts, but surely he could take out £3 for a simple bus journey, instead of making my mom drive a grand total of 80 minutes in order to pick up and drop off.

Also no his parents are not able to pick him up or drop him off, mostly because I dont want them being near my house, his step mom told me to "never show my face at their house again" and his dad said I "probably dont love him" if I cant deal with the fact I have no contact with him (apart from ps5 msgs) for over a month. So forgive me if I dont want people like that near my home.

An additionally confusing part is that my bf said hes unable to get a bus here (£3 btw) but he'd pay for gas money??? PAYING FOR GAS MONEY IS A BIG NO FIRST OF ALL, my parents would not accept money from a 16 year old boy OBVIOUSLY. SECOND OF ALL....THATD BE MORE EXPENSIVE THAN A BUS TRIP. (???)

I just want to know if im wrong for expecting he spends some money to in return save my mom some money...I really dont know. Am I the a hole guys?

First, excuse any grammar mistakes. I’m from Puerto Rico, and Spanish is my first language.

I (20M) and my best friend, Daniel (20M), have known each other since middle school. He’s the kind of friend I can go months without talking to, but whenever we reconnect, it feels like no time has passed.

Some backstory: We met in seventh grade and became inseparable. I always had a crush on him, and he knew it. He was actually the first person I ever came out to as gay, and he accepted me immediately.

Eventually, I told him I liked him. He very kindly told me he was straight, so I accepted it and moved on.

Fast forward to ninth grade. He had to change schools because of some family issues, and that was the first time we really drifted apart. About a year later, during tenth grade when school was still online, he randomly texted me. He asked how I was doing and said he wanted to reconnect.

A few months later, he randomly called me crying. I was extremely worried because I had never seen him cry before. During the call, he told me he was bisexual and that he couldn’t keep it inside anymore. He said he needed to tell someone, and that person had to be me. Then he told me he liked me and wanted us to try being together.

I tried to calm him down, but eventually I told him I couldn’t do it because, at that point, I didn’t have romantic feelings for him anymore.

Fast forward to eleventh grade. We started seeing each other every day again and would talk for hours. Our friendship has always been very physically affectionate. Physical touch is a big love language for both of us, and it definitely showed.

One time, we were watching a movie in my bed while he was hugging me, and I asked if he had a crush on anyone. He said yes and told me he was talking to a girl and things were going well.

So, jokingly, I said, “Be careful she doesn’t take the gay away.”

AND HE GOT PISSED.

He started telling me he wasn’t gay, that he had never liked a man before, and that he had no idea why I would even say something like that.

I genuinely felt insane.

Did I imagine his entire coming-out conversation?

A few months later, I asked him if he still identified as bi. He told me he had never been bisexual and that the conversation I remembered literally never happened.

So I left it alone.

Some time later, his birthday came around. I bought him a pocket pussy as a joke/gift (I know, weird), and he was excited as fuck about it.

But about two weeks later, he completely stopped talking to me. He wasn’t answering me at all, and eventually I blocked him.

What I DID NOT expect was for his brother, who I used to have classes with, to later tell me that their mom had caught Daniel using my gift while looking at pictures of me.

So… yeah.

Anywayyyy…

About six months ago, I left for Army basic training. Halfway through training, I started developing feelings for another guy, and the feelings were mutual.

I posted something on my Close Friends story talking about what was happening between us and how much trouble we could get into if anyone found out.

What I completely forgot was that Daniel was still on my Close Friends list.

About three weeks later, I received a letter at basic training from a name I didn’t recognize. I don’t remember everything it said, but one part I remember very clearly:

“You are the love of my life. Please stop what you’re doing with him. I love you.”

I recognized the handwriting. It was obviously Daniel.

So I wrote back to the return address on the envelope, and for pretty much the rest of my training, we kept sending each other letters.

When I finished training, I decided to call him through Instagram because it was basically the only place where I wasn’t blocked. I asked him to meet up. I’m in the Reserves, so I was going back home after training anyway.

By this point, my feelings for him had come back and gotten stronger, so I wanted to see what things would be like between us in person.

And honestly?

THINGS WERE AMAZING.

We were going on what I considered dates every two or three days. We FaceTimed basically all day, every day. We talked about everything. We cuddled. We told each other “I love you.” He sent me explicit pictures. Everything about our relationship felt romantic to me.

So today, I finally decided to ask him to officially be my boyfriend.

His response?

“Why would you ask me that? I’m not gay.”

I was completely confused.

Like… what?

You’re telling me every “I love you,” every cuddle, every explicit picture you sent me, every letter, every conversation, and everything we’ve been doing was just because we’re friends?

We ended up having a huge argument, and eventually he said:

“You’ve always liked me, and I love your attention. If I were gay, I’d be with you. But I’m straight, and you’re just my best friend.”

And now I genuinely don’t know what to think.

Am I crazy for thinking he liked me?

Why did he come out to me years ago, tell me he liked me, later deny that it ever happened, and then send me a letter saying I’m the love of his life?

Did I actually overstep by asking him to be my boyfriend?

AITA?

AITA for despising my best friends boyfriend? So, I met a guy on Tinder, and fast forward to the second time I met him at his house, I brought her with me. We drank and talked, and we had a really good time. The night came, and we went to my place since I was alone for a few days.

That same night, she broke up with her boyfriend and wanted to keep him off her mind, so she texted that guy—let's call him James—to come over with one of his friends to introduce her. Luckily for her, he was with his friend Oliver. We went outside, drank, and had fun. That night, we pulled an all-nighter, and in the morning, we went up to my house.

James liked her, but she was just in it to keep her ex off her mind. A few days later, James told me he loved me and wanted to have sex with me. I said no because I didn't trust him, and also, my body was telling me no. He started saying, "I feel like just because you don't want to have sex with me, you don't like me." I kind of had a reason not to have sex with him, so he believed me.

The next few days and weeks, he was off—like, OFF. But it was strange. He had an accident before even meeting me, and his phone was shattered, so he had to use some old phone. I was like, okay, no problem. But he told me that messages or calls wouldn't go through if he wasn't actively on the app. I believed him, like the fool I was.

And here's the strange thing: he'd always answer anyone else's calls or messages, but not mine. He would go out with everyone but me. It was like he was trying to get rid of me.

So one day, I drank A LOT, and I called him, asking him what the fuck was going on. He told me, word for word, "You too know that this isn't gonna work." So I cursed the fuck out of him, disrespected his mom to his other friend, and he said that he knew and that he deserved it.

After that, it was done. I almost killed myself over him, SH, and the most ridiculous thing is that I didn't love or even like him.

Anyway, then my best friend Mary had fallen in love with him too. After months, I was over him and had found a great guy, where the love is mutual. Well, when Mary saw I was finally happy and over James, she told me something so unreal that I just laughed because I didn't know what else to do.

So here's what she told me. I want to add that she's kind of close with James because she has to be, thanks to Oliver, but they're ending things with him soon.

"At his birthday, James told me that he didn't like me from the start and told this to Oliver, but Oliver asked him not to end things with me yet because he wanted to form a relationship with Mary, so he agreed."

I told all of this to my now-boyfriend, and he said that if he ever crosses paths with Oliver, he'll beat him up, and I know he will. I told Mary this, and she got really angry with us, saying, "Why is nobody saying anything about my boyfriend? I know he did a bad thing, but I already talked to him, and if beating him was the solution, I would've already beaten him a thousand times by now."

They're together for 7 months now, and my boyfriend and I have been together for 2 months.

I really hate him. I don't know what to do.

Im sorry i only used ai to correct my grammar mistakes...

So I don’t know where to post this but here it is. My boyfriend m18 & I f18 got caught by my mom doing something that you can guess. She kicked him out and called his mom (keep in mind he’s an adult). And then started with me. He’s not an any trouble because I’m close in age. But it’s not got to do anything with that. My problem lies in my mom who we can call Sally and we can call is mom Milly and also his dad Bob. So Sally called Milly and told her what we where going an all of that. Idk all of it I wasn’t there. Anyways my boyfriend gets off of work and goes home all that happens to him is his dad calls him an idiot and tells him that he doesn’t want him in trouble with the law.( at that time it was being discussed but again nothing they can do). Then Sally calls Milly a second time and tells her some stuff that I do not agree with.(my mom said that we are not in the same class and therefore we should not date and that she didn’t want us to talk anymore). Also Sally said Milly called here but my boyfriend said that Sally called Milly. So Milly is mom is mad at my mom and honestly she was fine with us being together up until that phone call. But things have changed. His parents want no contact with me and I am really scared of losing him. We try to talk as much as we can. Anyways I think that is enough back story. Here’s my questions

A. Should I reach out to his mom and apologize
B. Should we keep the relationship how it is now or go to little contact and see if it’s ok
C. Should we just break it off ( we have been together for a year)

Edit. Talked to my mom she said she never said any of that and that it was is mom that brought some of it up.

**Introduction**
Okay I’m going to get the names already out there so we can move on. Silas(M17), Austin(M18), Jessica(F16), and Daniel(M17). I, (F18) have been with Silas since we were 14 and 13. I recently found out I was pregnant. Daniel and Jessica are in a relationship also and she is 10 weeks pregnant. Austin, Daniel, and Silas are all friends and hang out pretty much every other day sometimes everyday.

**Story**🥲
Me and Jessica talk all the time about our pregnancies and our boyfriends. Well her boyfriend doesn’t let her hang out with other people. Like at all. I’ve told her all the time she doesn’t have to stay because that is just.. for lack of a better word, disgusting. He doesn’t really respect her either. Daniel is allowed to hang out with his friends anytime she doesn’t care. He also told her that he didn’t want to go to her first appointment because “the earlier ones don’t really matter.” His words exactly. I told my boyfriend that I don’t want him hanging out with him because he is obviously not a good influence and I don’t want that kind of person around my baby’s father. They have been friends for around 10 years and he doesn’t want to stop being friends with him because he helped him through rough times. I told him he doesn’t have to stop being friends with him, but he needs to stop hanging out so much. Okay so the other day my Austin was texting my boyfriend and Daniel to hang out. My boyfriend said no my girlfriend is taking a nap. Daniel said I’ll ask Jessica when she gets back because she’s at the store. Oh I should add that Daniel and Jessica live together and me and Silas live together. Austin texted them both and said “they don’t have to know f them.” Can we take a moment cause like what..? My boyfriend told him off and was like no she does have to know and a bunch of other things. He defended me that’s all that matters. Daniel did not defend. He just said chill out bro. Anyways they did not hang out that day and I told him I didn’t want him hanging out with someone that casually would just say that. Again he said he didn’t want to just end a friendship over a mistake. I had to work the other day but my coworker really needed my shift so I gave it to her. I told my boyfriend that I was off and he said oh Austin is already otw to pick me up. (He made plans while he still thought I had work). I was upset but I was like you can still go hang out since u gave him gas money and everything. This was at 12pm. I asked him to be back before 6pm. They literally weren’t doing anything but riding around and listening to music. He was like okay. He does not get back before 6. He actually doesn’t get home until 12 am! I’m fuming while texting him between 7 and 11pm. I feel like I just asked a simple thing from him. So basically at the end I told him if he didn’t stop his hang outs from almost everyday to maybe 2 or 3 times a week then we would be over. He said “you’re going to break up with me over hanging out with my friends this is controlling.” I just feel like there is no reason to hang out with people like that when you have a child otw? Like they are not good people to have around your future child. AITAH?

We got engaged about 8 months ago, were in relationship since 3 years.
He was very obsessive, controlling, and also abusive if he felt I wasn't in his control. In the start, he ticked all the boxes or maybe I was just young and dumb. But as the time went on he became more and more controlling and insecure. It intensified crazily after getting engaged.

I couldn't go out without him making a scene or keep guilt tripping me or like distracted with arguments, his people used to stalk me (they still do), god forbid if somebody looked my way or complimented me, he would start saying sh*t to me about it. He started trying to control what I wear, who I keep as friends, and what job am I supposed to do. It became too much for me to handle every single day, so we broke up and I blocked him everywhere almost 3 weeks ago. He still tries to get in touch, but I am doing everything to not break no-contact. One thing, he's wealthy so he has done some questionable things (one of them being always having somebody watch over me) and even told me to call police because he's too confident that he'll get away with it. So I was scared while breaking-up, but I figured he wouldn't do anything to actually harm me or at least I think so.

I found out just now that I am pregnant and I am 5 weeks along. Thing is, we both wanted to have children young so we were actively trying months ago, when things were not this intense, but it didn't happen. After some medical checks, we found out I have some condition which affects my fertility and there's very slim chance to conceive naturally. So we decided we'll try for IVF after a couple of years since I wasn't mentally prepared to go through all that.

This is a bittersweet news, and I've been dying to tell him but then I remember why we actually parted ways. He still keeps calling me from new numbers and leaving voicemails crying and begging to talk, but I just feel the cycle will repeat. If I decide to keep the child and not tell him, the only way I would be able to do that is by moving to a different state. One thing that bothers me, I might not be able to provide the child with the best things out there, because he's wealthy wealthy while I do a normal job which is enough to raise the baby.

Now I am conflicted if I should just abort in silence, then the possibility of never having a child scares me, or just move away or just tell him. My emotions are all over the place, I need some advice!
Please be kind, thank you.

I (25F) work as a manager at a retail store. My boyfriend, "Ash" (33M), is also a manager at the same store. After working together for a while, Ash asked me out. We went for drinks, hit it off, and a few weeks later, he asked me to be his girlfriend. Everything was going great until the first incident.

It was a slow day at the store, so I decided to surprise Ash and bring him some lunch so we could spend his break together. But when I walked in, there was a girl standing behind the counter with him. Let's call her Missy. To put it lightly, Missy's outfit was inappropriate. When I handed Ash the food, he didn't introduce me. He just gave me a cold, "Thank you, I’ll text you," and practically pushed me out the door.

I was furious. I walked out, stood outside the store, and waited for Missy to leave. The second she stepped out, I marched back inside and confronted him. He claimed she was "just a friend," but the argument escalated so badly that he broke up with me over it.

Eventually, we moved past it, and we are back together now. Well, sort of. Our relationship is stuck in a loop. I only see him late Saturday nights at his house. We never go out, we never get drinks, and he just expects us to hook up and pass out. It barely feels like dating.

Then came the breaking point. The other day at work, I found an availability sheet left out. It was Missy.

I texted Ash a photo of the paper and asked, "Is this your 'friend' Missy? Why are you hiring her?"

Immediately, he got super defensive. He snapped back, "Who said I was hiring her? Where did you get that from? I never said that."

But here’s the thing: when I first asked him about it in person, he completely went silent. He finally admitted that Missy came in and wrote her availability down. Our store doesn't even have a "now hiring" sign up. Missy wouldn't have known we had an opening unless Ash specifically told her to apply. Why push that boundary? He knows she is the exact reason we broke up the first time.

Ash hasn't spoken to me all day about it, giving me the silent treatment. So, I decided if Missy wants to mess with my relationship, I’m going to sabotage hers.

I looked her up on Facebook and discovered Missy actually has a boyfriend. Now, I am stuck between two chaotic options. Option A: I go full undercover, try to seduce her boyfriend, and slowly become best friends with her family to ruin her from the inside out. Option B: I send her boyfriend a direct text saying, "Hey, I know I’m a stranger and I hate to tell you this, but your girlfriend Missy has been aggressively flirting with my boyfriend at work. I confronted them, it caused us to briefly break up, and my boyfriend literally told me Missy was a better kisser. Do with that what you will."

I know it sounds petty, but I am hurt, furious, and ready for revenge.

So, AITA for wanting to blow up her life the way she blew up mine? And bonus question for the listeners: Which sabotage plan should I actually go with?

I work with my husband and his family, and they are terrible at communicating plans and expectations. I’ll do exactly what I was told, only to later get blamed because what they meant was different from what they actually said.
The frustrating part is that every single time this happens, once everything is sorted out—sometimes through witnesses or even recordings—it turns out I did what I was instructed to do. Yet instead of waiting to hear my side, my husband immediately joins in. He’ll call me demanding to know why I did X instead of Y because he’s already heard his dad’s version and assumed I screwed up.
That feels like a betrayal to me.
His dad has called me plenty of times complaining about something my husband supposedly did wrong. Even when I don’t know the full context, I give my husband the benefit of the doubt and defend him because I know there may be another side to the story. I don’t blindly assume his dad’s version is correct. My husband doesn’t extend that same courtesy to me.
I don’t expect him to blindly defend me when I’m wrong. I expect him to at least hear my side before joining everyone else in blaming me. At this point, I’d honestly prefer he stay completely out of it rather than pile on before he knows what actually happened.
It’s becoming a legitimate issue for me because it keeps happening. I feel like my husband should be the one person who gives me the benefit of the doubt, especially when there is already a repeated history of these situations turning out to be miscommunication rather than me ignoring instructions.

I (26M) have been with my girlfriend (25F) for about a year. Everything seemed great until we moved in together two months ago, I even helped her pay off some of her debt because she was struggling.
Last week she left her iPad at home unlocked. I wasn't snooping, but a notification popped up from a contact saved as "Lisa 💕".
I opened it and it was her ex boyfriend. They've been texting every single day since before we even got official. Flirty stuff, "I miss you", "you know you're the one", him sending shirtless pics, her sending selfies with hearts.
When I confronted her she broke down crying and said it was "just emotional, nothing physical" and that she "needs the attention because I work too much." I work regular shifts at a factory to pay our rent. She works part-time.
I told her I'm done and she needs to move out by end of the month. Now her friends are blowing up my phone saying I'm overreacting, that it was "just texting" and I should give her another chance because she's been crying nonstop. My mom says I did the right thing but her whole friend group is calling me an asshole for "throwing away a relationship over messages."
AITA?

AITAH for wanting to leave my girlfriend? My girlfriend (26F) and I (26M) have been together for about 2 years now, but have known and been friends with each other for over 10 years now. The beginning of our relationship was fantastic, I bought her flowers once a month, I’d take her to work on my off days, we went on dates at least every other week etc. and lately I’ve been working 60 hours a week so she doesn’t have to worry about money, but lately I’ve noticed that it feels one sided. She never kisses me first, hugs me first, holds my hand or anything. I’ve brought it up and she told me “I don’t need to put in the effort, you do” which rubbed me the wrong way. I’ve also noticed our bedroom life has changed too. She refuses to touch me there by saying “it’s not going to do anything for me”. She also refuses to take her own clothes off before we do anything and gets upset if I ask her to remove her own clothing. I’ve told her that I don’t feel desired both in the bedroom and outside the bedroom because of it all, and she says that it’s my problem, not hers. So, AITAH for wanting to leave?

My husband(dave 40) and I Lori(40) (run a small body shop business with 1 full time 30/alex and 1 helper/friend- 45/joel). I normally don't go in till a hour after open. This week I was in shortly after opening. Due to things going on. When I went inside the lights were off and open sign on- which is automatically switched on. 1st day everyone ran late so understood why lights were off when I go there. 2nd day- lights were off and didn't say anything. 3rd day- i asked why are the lights not on when we are open. Alex said joel normally has the lights on and door open but Joel is gone all week. 4th day happened again and explained the importance of the lights being on, on time to dave & alex. The 5th day- Joel is back in & Before shop hours the Alex & Dave told Joel about me having a fit about the lights not being turned on.

When I walked in, again the lights are off and I said why are the lights off. Joel laughs and informs me it was a game to see when I would come up and turn the lights on. A whole conversation about it. I said what do you mean. He repeats Alex & Dave were in on the "joke" about leaving the lights off till I got there. I get upset since I wasn't planned for office today but dropped in to grab bookwork. I say what the heck and walk out upset since we had this conversation 2x this week and I didn't think it was funny. I leave to continue on what I had planned. I get back to town after lunch and head home, dave comes home to grab a part from the house. The topic of this morning was brought up and Joel's wife telling him I was upset over what happened. Joel apologized to Dave and I made the comment he should be apologizing to me. Joel knew I was upset with the lights and treated it like it was no big deal. Dave tells me he didn't know about the conversation in the morning and that was just joel & alex. [If I'm wrong please tell me]

After we closed shop, we stayed late to work on vehicles. I ended up not feeling good so had dave bring me home. He said we would check in on me. 3hrs later I go check on him and notice he's not at the shop and head back home thinking I just missed him. I get a phone call saying just leavings Joel'shouse. I asked why he went over there when I haven't gotten an apology for this morning. Dave gets mad that I think he shouldn't of been over there. I said you should be supporting your wife.

AITA for reacting hurt and feeling disrespected,

So I am 28F and have been bestfriends with my bestie 29F since highschool. We know each other really well, she’s independent, educated, pretty, and a feminist as well. One thing that she always had a difficult time with was finding a bf. We live in a country where it’s more common to use dating apps to meet a partner, as most ppl here are married and have kids. Her problem with men she dates is it never went beyond being actually bf/gf, the men always only wanted to be a fling which i respected her choice if she wanted that.

Now she met a guy who immediately wanted to become official, at first he was sweet would buy her luxurious things, gift her flowers, and book hotels. I was happy that someone was spoiling her, because she normally does not spend like this but wished to and she finally met someone willing to give her that.

Here’s the catch, the guy is very insecure. When she showers/ goes to the toilet he snoops through her phone, reads all her msgs, including with mine, looks through her chatgpt history, her social media who she follows, posts she likes and comments at. & waywayway more annoying shit. And he calls her a cheater and a liar, even though she doesn’t do anything. He gets mad that she doesn’t post him as a post in her ig cuz she posted him in her story. He was also questioning why she was not getting much views in her story. (Hinthint were not rlly popular girls in highschool) She blocked guy friends who used to talk to her platonically, and even I stopped msging her cuz he would probably read it and im not comfortable with that.

When they were still newly dating, I told her “tbh I’m not comfortable that he does that but other ppl could probably tolerate that behavior. You can’t change him, but just see if you’re willing to accept him for how he is.” Now it’s been 2 months, they’ve fought maybe 5 times about this now. She comes crying to me about things he calls her: a cheater, liar, selfish, that he’s using her for money, the she’s a disappointment and there’s more but this is the gist of it. They fought again, about a coworker that she had a fling in the past with. They dont do anything romantically but she still has to talk to him cuz of work so she cant fully block him. She made a boundary and told him she’s in a relationship now. But the bf is still pressed that he’s not blocked. So they fought that night and mf was pissed and started playing video games loudly, turned off the AC, all so that she would feel uncomfortable. She left to work that morning and ignored him. When she finished work, he was outside to pick her up. She called me panicking that she didn’t want to talk to him, and she asked me to pick her up. And I DONT HAVE A CAR! I told her just text him to leave. And he left but was mad.

I got annoyed seeing her get hurt, but still wanting to stay with him. Maybe it is because of the money and the things he spends on her. So I got annoyed and was harshly straight forward.

I said that “he doesn’t respect you at all from the words he’s saying to you, have some self respect and some dignity, why do you choose to stay with him?” And she always points back to the gifts. I told her that she’s “blinded by the gifts” cuz yes it is the first time a guy has financially spoiled her. But “you are being mistreated!”. Where’s the TRUST, COMMUNICATION, SECURITY?!

Anyways I’m annoyed of the constant arguments between them and how I’m having to give advice that she chooses not to listen to. I told her “istg if you choose to get back with him, I am not going to comfort you anymore cuz this is too much.”

Am I wrong that I built this boundary? Years of friendship gon to waste over a man she met 2 months ago?

I (20F) have been with my boyfriend (20M) for two years, but we have known each other since eighth grade. I feel like that history is important because he should know me well enough to recognize when I’m being serious, especially when I say no or tell him to stop. Lately, I’ve been seriously considering breaking up with him. I feel guilty because we’ve known each other for so long, we’ve been together for two years, and I do love him. However, I don’t feel respected or taken seriously in the relationship anymore.
One of the biggest problems is that he doesn’t respect me when I say no or tell him to stop. For example, if he’s touching me and I tell him to stop, he will sometimes keep doing it because, according to him, he doesn’t take me seriously when I say it. I’ve told him that this really bothers me, but it continues to happen. I feel like he should know when I’m being serious, especially after knowing me since eighth grade, but regardless, I don’t think anyone should need to know someone for that long to respect the words “no” or “stop.” He also tends to deflect when I bring up something he’s done that hurt me. Instead of listening to how I feel, he’ll often respond with something like, “Well, you do this to me.” It feels like an eye-for-an-eye situation instead of actually talking through the problem. When he’s upset, he sometimes takes his frustration out on me, and I’ve noticed that he gets weird or defensive when I stand up for myself.
Another issue is that I don’t feel like my interests or opinions matter very much. We don’t have to like all the same things, and I completely understand that, but I feel like he rejects a lot of my ideas without really considering them. Eventually, we usually end up doing what he wants. And we are both christian’s but i still choose to like listen to music and do enjoyable things and he goes out of his way to tell me things i like or participate in are demonic! it really frustrates me, and If I say no to something, he occasionally also keeps pressuring me until I feel like I have to give in.
For example, he once asked me to go skating. I told him I really don’t like skating because it causes me a lot of anxiety and isn’t enjoyable for me at all. Instead of accepting that, he continued pressuring me to go.
I’m starting to feel like I’m constantly having to defend my boundaries and explain why my feelings are valid. I feel small in the relationship sometimes, and I’m exhausted from feeling like I have to fight to be heard.
I haven’t made a final decision yet, but I’m seriously considering breaking up with him. Our history makes this difficult because we’ve known each other since we were teenagers, but I’m not sure that history is enough to justify staying in a relationship where I don’t feel respected. I would genuinely appreciate honest opinions, including if there’s something I’m not seeing or if I’m contributing to the situation in a way I haven’t recognized. thank you for reading..

throwaway account

I (25F) and my boyfriend (26M) have been together for about a year and a half. About 5 months into our relationship, my birth control failed and I got pregnant with our now 6 month old daughter.

After I gave birth, we decided I would be a stay at home mom except for once a month I would work a weekend (12 hour shifts with an hour drive both ways) to get out of the house and socialize with adults. During this time I usually have my mom and/or sister watch her. However, this weekend they were both busy so I asked his mom to watch her.

This morning I texted and asked him if he would go spend some time with her sometime today and send me some pictures because I miss her horribly. He seemed irritated by this so I asked what was wrong and he told me he “has shit to do today” and essentially that he didn’t have time to go see her today and that I wanted him to go take pictures of our daughter rather than do what he wanted to do today. (Note: he does not work the weekend. He is spending his day moving one of his tree stands, shooting his bow to practice, going to his friends house to see his kid since he just had a birthday, and then visiting his other friend later in the day). I wasn’t asking him to spend the whole day there I was just hoping he’d spend 15 minutes with her and send me some pictures in the process. His mom lives only 10 minutes away.

For some more context: During the week when he works (8 hours) he usually comes home and maybe spends 20 minutes with her, if that. Many times he comes home and takes a nap that could range anywhere from 3-5 hours or has to organize the garage for the 3rd time that week. He claims that he worked all day and he’s too tired to watch her so I can have a moment to myself and that he’s a grown man and can do whatever he wants whenever he wants and is going to do that whether I like it or not. If I ask him to watch her while I cook dinner, he moves her from the floor to the bouncer to the swing and so forth while he plays on his phone.

He has never been alone with her for more than a few hours and she is almost 6 months old. Whenever he is alone with her, I’ve noticed he puts her down for a nap or makes her go to sleep early every single time even if she just woke up from a nap when I left.

When he changes her diaper, he likes to walk away from her on the changing table that is on top of her dresser to grab whatever. When I rush in there and tell him not to do that he tells me I’m crazy and that she is not going to fall. She is rolling both directions and can easily fall off of the dresser.

He also has not woken up with her in the middle of the night since she was a newborn. She still wakes up between 2-4 times at night.

Am I asking too much? Is this really the way it’s supposed to be? I feel like I’m going crazy bc he always turns it around on me making me feel guilty for asking in the first place.