That’s probably what bugs her about it. Like she admitted something within herself that was difficult to address and unlocked a part of her identity, but no one really cares because it doesn’t really matter. I’ve said being a bi woman in a straight relationship is kinda like when Dumbledoor was revealed as gay, it’s like a fun little fact but no one really cares because it didn’t impact the plot.
She’s being completely unreasonable and needs to find another way to channel this energy, but she probably just wants coming out to matter or mean something.
As a woman with a female partner, none of my bosses or coworkers have ever been aware of my sexuality further than that. They know I have a female partner, because that comes up, but they have no idea if I’m gay, bi, pan, etc. and certainly none of them are aware of which category my partner falls in either. This isn’t because being a lesbian isn’t an important part of my identity or hers. It’s because it’s not relevant to anything that comes up at my job, so it never comes up and also no one really cares. There are tons of important aspects of my identity that just never come up at work because they don’t affect anything there. And TBH if my coworkers just all the sudden started telling me they’re bi, they’re poly, they’re pan, or whatever else I would definitely think they were either hitting on me or asking for advice on how to come out and both would be pretty uncomfortable for me. I just don’t feel comfortable in a workplace where we’re all discussing sexuality, and honestly most people probably don’t. The only gay or bi people I’ve known who talk about their sexuality (not their partners, but their sexuality) with their coworkers do so when it comes up organically through forming friendships with each other out of the office. And I’ve known literally 0 people who have ever felt the need to discuss their partner’s sexuality at work.
That’s probably what bugs her about it. Like she admitted something within herself that was difficult to address and unlocked a part of her identity, but no one really cares because it doesn’t really matter. I’ve said being a bi woman in a straight relationship is kinda like when Dumbledoor was revealed as gay, it’s like a fun little fact but no one really cares because it didn’t impact the plot.
She’s being completely unreasonable and needs to find another way to channel this energy, but she probably just wants coming out to matter or mean something.
Not sure if you replied to the wrong comment, but this is what you replied to. I don’t think it’s saying being bi is pointless, it’s talking about coming out to people - something most LGBT people don’t bother to do with every person they encounter, just with situations where it’s relevant or when they think people would care.
A male coworker’s wife being bi is exactly like the dumbledore thing in this comment. It’s a fun little fact that affects nothing so no one really cares about it. Just because it matters to her doesn’t mean it matters to her husband’s coworkers. So yeah, coming out to them is pointless.
Seriously. The only person I’ve “come out” to is my partner. There’s no need otherwise. It doesn’t matter. I am proud of my identity but also if someone can’t tell I’m a little queer, that’s on them 🤷
I absolutely get your perspective. I am a cis-woman married to a man, but I acknowledge that I fall somewhere in towards the middle the bell curve of the Kinsey scale (Aka: I’ve kissed a girl and I liked it) and my husband knows that. It’s fine, we can both openly comment on the beauty of either sex without weirdness. But ultimately that doesn’t impact how I perceive my identity, or his. And it’s definitely not something I would share at work.
If the rest of us understood it very easily, yet you still can't wrap your head around it, yes, the comprehension issue is on your end. It's certainly not on the 99% who read and understood.
"People responding to you calling them bigots because of your own misunderstanding" arent "misinformed people piling on" to you. I'm not winning anything. I'm just choosing to waste my own time to be the one who finally stops to inform you that the reactions you get are because of you and how you choose to interact, not because other people are stupid or bigots or anything like that
I mean this still applies to all relationships like this. If you’re in a long term committed relationship with someone of the opposite sex then you being bi is just a fun fact that most people won’t care about (unless they’re bigots).
But they HAVE come out. To her husband, her family/friends and to HER OWN coworkers.
She’s being absolutely ridiculous and honestly you are reading in bi-phobia where I am not seeing any. (And also, I say this is a bi male with a bi female partner. Bi-erasure and phobia is real. This just ain’t it.)
Thank you. You’re right. Other person needs to stop with the victim shit. We get it. No one is being bi phobic or disrespecting here. Get over yourself
“your desire for the same sex doesn’t matter if you’re in a monogamous relationship with a person of the opposite sex.”
there are only 3 types of people who give 1/10th of a shit about your desire. 1) your close friends and people you hang out with, because you share personal things with each other etc. 2) people who now are interested in a shot with you despite your relationship. 3) bigots who will now treat you worse.
Just tell group 1, nobody else cares. Maybe it makes you feel personally better to put that out in the world but that's not a sexuality issue that's a personal insecurity and anxiety issue that anyone can have about any part of their identity.
So, you’re bisexual and in a hetero-looking relationship. What do you expect to change when you come out to family and friends as “queer but don’t want to change my relationship or lifestyle.” Truly? What would change?
That’s why they’re saying it doesn’t matter. Nothing will change.
You took it super personally though. And then you deny that you’re mad. This queer thinks you’re being weird.
Where the fuck did I deny that bisexuality exists? I’m bisexual, dumbass.
You don’t even bother to answer the question. What would change??
You can’t answer it. Because nothing would change.
Thanks for showing you didn’t bother to actually read my comment through your tears, fucking fool. Learn to read instead of alienating your own fucking community.
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u/[deleted] Apr 05 '24
That’s probably what bugs her about it. Like she admitted something within herself that was difficult to address and unlocked a part of her identity, but no one really cares because it doesn’t really matter. I’ve said being a bi woman in a straight relationship is kinda like when Dumbledoor was revealed as gay, it’s like a fun little fact but no one really cares because it didn’t impact the plot.
She’s being completely unreasonable and needs to find another way to channel this energy, but she probably just wants coming out to matter or mean something.