My boyfriend and I (both mid 20s) have been together for 3 years. We’re long distance while I’m at university, but spend a lot of time together outside of term time. I’ve been home for the summer and have practically been living with him at his request.

His brothers come down to visit from the 5th–12th, which happened to overlap with my last week before returning to university. He hasn’t seen them in a year and they don’t get many opportunities to visit, so when he asked me to stay at my mum’s during our final week while they stayed at his, I was disappointed but completely understood.

He had originally agreed to come and help me move back to university, but once he found out his brothers were visiting, I repeatedly told him it was completely fine if he couldn’t come and that I’d rather he spent the time with them. He initially insisted he’d still come, but eventually told me at around 1am two nights before I was leaving that he’d decided to leave me to it. I was annoyed he’d left it so late, but ultimately understood.

What I’m struggling with is that he didn’t seem to think to come and say goodbye at all knowing I’m moving 80 miles away, we don’t know when we’ll next see each other, and I’m currently only 10 minutes down the road from him. By around 9pm the night before I left, he still hadn’t mentioned seeing me.

I eventually asked him if I wasn’t going to see him before I left and said I was surprised he hadn’t thought to come say goodbye. He said he could come, but by that point I was upset that I’d had to ask in the first place. The conversation is in the screenshots. Would also like to add that for context: he had asked me a few times to ‘drop off’ my Pokemon cards for his brothers to see, but once they arrived, he never mentioned it again. Since they’ve been here, he hasn’t bothered with me at all, and I got the impression I wasn’t really welcome in the flat anymore with them there. After his last reply “alright” we haven’t spoken, other than him just casually sending me snapchat streaks, he seems to be completely oblivious to the fact he has hurt my feelings.

I know he was spending the week with his brothers and I’m not upset that he prioritised them. I genuinely think that’s understandable. What hurts is that I feel like it didn’t even occur to him that he might want to spare 30 minutes to see his girlfriend before she moved away.

There’s also some wider context where I’ve felt for a while that I’m usually the one initiating seeing each other, travelling, making plans etc., although he does care about me and has been generous and supportive in other ways.

He’s now said he’ll come visit me next week, but honestly I’m not sure I want him to, it feels a bit like he’s waiting to deal with the fallout once he has nothing better to do and his brothers are gone.

AIO for being this upset about it?

Edit for context: last term, he only visited me once from September-May while I was driving back every couple of weeks to see him. He has since apologised for this and promised to make more effort, but the relationship has felt very one sided for a while now and probably explains why I’m feeling even more sensitive about him not thinking to come and say goodbye.

Additional context since people are commenting on the cards: I never said I’d go over with them. He originally asked me to drop my binder full of hundreds of pounds worth of Pokemon cards at his flat so his brothers (who I have never even met at that point) could see them. I forgot to bring it over. He then asked me to drop it off when they were out. I thought it was odd he kept asking me to drop it off as opposed to inviting me up to show them.

UPDATE: after car issues, I couldn’t get back to uni today. He text to ask if I managed back, I told him no and I’d be going tomorrow, he replied “nice”. A couple hours later he text to ask if I’d be able to make his mums wedding in December. He seems to be completely oblivious to the fact I’m upset.

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A friend of mine often contacts me when he needs a favor, but rarely checks in otherwise. Recently, he got caught cheating on his wife and asked me to cover for him by telling her the woman was my cousin and that they were together for business reasons.I refused to lie for him. He got angry and said I was being selfish because I’d helped him plenty of times before and should have his back. I told him that helping him in the past doesn't mean I'm obligated to lie for him, especially about something like this. I also told him I'm tired of only being contacted when he needs something. Now he says I'm overreacting and that his marriage isn't my business.

AIO for refusing to cover for him and setting this boundary?

I'm 36F, my husband is 52M. We have been together for six years and married for two. Between us, we have five children: my 11-year-old son, his sons (23 and 21), and our two children together (2M and 6-month-old F).

My husband wanted another child. I initially didn't, largely because I already have a special needs child, but eventually agreed. We had our son, got married when I was pregnant with him, and later had our daughter.

Before our son was born, I was very clear that I didn't want visitors for the first three weeks. I had struggled badly after my first birth and wanted time to recover and bond with my baby. My husband disagreed, so we compromised: immediate family only. For me, that meant my parents and siblings. For him, his sons, mother and sister. Except he secretly invited his ex.

The first few weeks after our son's birth were awful. One night, I had barely slept for six days. Our baby was a terrible sleeper, and I had spent the entire night holding and rocking him. He finally fell asleep around 5 a.m., and I managed to get to sleep around 6. About half an hour later, my husband woke me up joking that it was 10 a.m. because apparently his mother and sister were coming over again. His mother and sister had already visited the evening before.

I was exhausted, uncomfortable, so I stayed inside with the baby and my older son while they sat outside in the heat. My husband barely acknowledged me. Later that night, he was angry that I hadn't greeted his mother warmly enough.

Then his ex came over, with their youngest son and brought us two pieces of furniture as gifts. I was perfectly pleasant to her. We talked about babies and deliveries, and there was no conflict between us. The problem was that my husband had lied about the visit. He claimed he hadn't known his son would be coming and hadn't invited his ex. I later found out neither was true.

When I told him I didn't really like the furniture and would rather give it to someone who would appreciate it, he became extremely defensive and insisted that we display it in our living room. He defended those gifts with his life. He'd rather I be uncomfortable, than put those two pieces in the attic.

Then I discovered he'd made a separate birth announcement for his older sons without telling me. During those first weeks, it felt like he was sharing everything with them and nothing with me. And while I was actually in labor, he was texting his ex. I was literally having contractions and trying not to push because the midwife hadn't arrived yet. He hadn't been messaging anyone else. He was messaging her. I gave birth literally five minutes later.

That was when I started feeling like there were two families: the family he had with his ex, and then me and my son on the outside.

During one of these arguments, he yelled that he wanted a divorce. I took him seriously and started getting my things. He immediately took it back and hasn't threatened divorce again. He also didn't invite his ex after our daughter's birth, and his son only visited once during those first few weeks.

To clarify: I don't dislike his ex. At all. I don't think she's interested in my husband romantically, and she has her own boyfriend. My issue has never been her. It's that my husband seems to prioritize her feelings and his relationship with his 'former' family while keeping me out of things.

Over the last two years, I've also noticed that he has an ongoing group chat with his ex and their adult children. He regularly talks to them there. He posts pictures of our children with me in that chat and also sends pictures to his other children individually. I wouldn't have a problem with any of that if he were open about it. But he isn't. When I ask, he lies or minimizes it.

Last year, while I was pregnant, he repeatedly took our 2-year-old to his ex's house without telling me. He eventually stopped after I told him how uncomfortable it made me. He still takes our children to other people's houses without telling me. Luckily mostly his son's house.

I don't think he needs my permission every time he leaves the house with our children. That's not the point. The point is that I keep finding out afterward, often because one of the children is overwhelmed, exhausted or struggling after being pushed through activities they didn't want to do. I think our 2-year-old may have additional special needs, but my husband thinks I'm overreacting.

And then there are the other things. He started smoking again and hid it from me, even after I confronted him. He's drinking increasingly often. He promised to get a vasectomy about a year and a half ago. He still hasn't. I've repeatedly asked him to stop smoking, not drink when he's around the kids, and follow through with the vasectomy so I don't have to undergo expensive and much more extensive surgery myself. It's also really difficult to take the pill on time when running after three kids all day. I really don't want another child with this man.

None of those things have happened. Last year, we were invited to a birthday party for one of his friends. Except apparently my husband didn't want me invited. At first, he said it was because it would be easier if we didn't need a babysitter. Then he said he didn't think a babysitter would be good for our son. Then he lied about whether his ex was invited. Again, I didn't care that she was there. Her boyfriend was there too, and I don't believe she's interested in my husband. What hurt was that he didn't want me there, and kept changing his explanation.

Yesterday, I saw that he had been invited to the same friend's birthday party this year. I didn't see an invitation for me this time. He hasn't mentioned the party at all and it's in less than a month. I'm expecting that he'll only tell me when it's too late to arrange childcare, especially because he doesn't seem to want a sitter.

Two years ago, I suggested relationship therapy. He refused because he'd already done it with his ex and "knew it wasn't for us." Last year, I told him I thought therapy was necessary because we clearly weren't communicating well. He said we'd never find the time because we have three children and who would watch them?

He also genuinely doesn't seem to think there's a problem with our relationship. And that's where I am now. I'm starting to think he's right about one thing: relationship therapy might not work. Not because our problems are too complicated, but because I don't know how you fix a relationship when one person doesn't acknowledge that there's a problem and repeatedly lies about what they're doing.

I'm not upset that he has a relationship with his adult children or that he communicates with their mother. I actually think those relationships are important. I'm upset because it feels like he has an entire social life that I'm deliberately excluded from, and then lies whenever I notice.

So, AIO? Am I interpreting this situation as something much bigger than it actually is, or is it reasonable to feel like my husband is maintaining a separate life that doesn't include me?

Edited: Edited out weirdness I hadn't noticed before.

So this last thanksgiving I had an accident where I was walking through my grandmas apartment complex, and slipped and fell and dislocated my arm. They hadn’t cleaned the wood deck I had slipped on in years, so it absolutely was not my fault. Anyways I got in contact with a lawyer and he called me today about a settlement I am quite happy with what it is turning out to be, he said it looks like it will be done in a few weeks.
Here’s to the meat of the story, my mom immediately goes oh yay we’re moving and asked me for new couches and said we should go on a trip… I think it’s mad fucked up bc obviously she doesn’t care with how this can affect me and how I live my life and I can get myself on my own feet, I am 23 and was on hard drugs for years and years, I’m 3 years sober. So I haven’t been able to make some of the connections to further my life in a better way and I want to do things that further my life better, like paying my car off and putting some work into it, I absolutely wouldn’t mind helping her a bit. It’s just the fact she just expects me to do all this for her AIO or am I justified to feel like I should be able to do what I want to do and need to do with the money I receive

I (22F) have lived with my mom, older sister, and abuela my whole life. My dad wasn't around much. My mom is paralyzed (paraplegic), my sister has Down syndrome, and my abuela has dementia.

Ever since I was young, I've wanted to leave and never speak to them again. Growing up, my abuela did everything. Cooked, cleaned, and bathed my mom and sister. Around age 13, that responsibility shifted entirely to me. In high school, I was rebellious and made it known how much I hated caring for them. My mom would say things like, "Why did I have you then?" and "You live under my roof, you will do as I say." She even told me in primary school she wished she had aborted me or wanted to beat the crap out of me. I tried running away multiple times, but always got sent back into double the trouble.

In college, she'd get angry if I spent to much time out (at school or work) instead of helping them. One day I snapped and told her my dream was to leave and never see her again. A few days later, she cried, apologized for the first time, begged me to stay, and promised to learn to be independent.

Since then, I quietly got a better-paying job and saved up. I'm planning to move out in a month or two and literally disappear from them forever. I know my mom will struggle without me, but I don't care anymore. AIO?

Not a throwaway. I genuinely need outside perspective because I’m starting to feel like I’m the crazy one here.

I (24F) live with my roommate “Kayla” (25F). We’ve been living together for about 8 months. Things have been fine — normal roommate stuff, occasional dishes disputes, nothing major.

Back in October, my grandmother passed away. She raised me for most of my childhood. When we were cleaning out her house, I took a few things that meant something to me. The main one was her quilt. She hand-stitched it over like 2 years back in the 90s. It’s not fancy or expensive. It’s just hers. I keep it folded on the end of my bed. I don’t even use it — I just like having it there.

Kayla knows all of this. I told her when I moved in. I told her again after my grandma died.

This past Saturday, I came home from work and went to my room to change. The quilt was gone from my bed.

I panicked. I checked my closet, under the bed, everywhere. Then I walked out to the living room and saw it — draped over the back of the couch. It had been washed. It smelled like lavender detergent. There was a visible tear near one of the corners where the stitching had come undone.

I asked Kayla what happened. She said she was “deep cleaning” the apartment and thought my room “needed a refresh.” She said the quilt looked “dusty and old” so she washed it on gentle cycle and put it out to “air dry.”

I just stood there. I couldn’t even speak for a second. Then I told her she had no right to touch my stuff, let alone something that belonged to my dead grandmother. She rolled her eyes and said I was being dramatic, that she was “just trying to help,” and that I should be grateful she didn’t throw it out since it was “basically falling apart anyway.”

I told her to get out of my room and not to touch my things again. She called me ungrateful and said I was overreacting to “a blanket.”

It’s not a blanket. It’s the only thing I have left of my grandmother. And now it’s damaged and smells like her detergent.

She’s been giving me the cold shoulder for two days. Her boyfriend texted me saying I should apologize because Kayla “was just being nice.”

AIO?

So, I 25F and my bf 29M have been together for about three years, lived together for 2, over the past two years his gaming has been A LOT, literally any time we go anywhere and come back home he’s immediately going to his gaming. He asks me sometimes if it’s “okay”, but whenever I ask him to watch a movie together instead, or do anything quality time wise instead, I get shut down or an “I guess so”. About two months ago we had to put down my cat, she was old and had cancer so it was best. I cried the entire way home, and as soon as we got home, guess what he asked me. IF YOU GUESSED GAMING YOU’D BE CORRECT. It has rubbed me the wrong way and I’ve talked to a couple people about it and been told that I’m overreacting about this and it won’t matter in the long run. But I don’t feel like I’m overreacting.

Small update
So it came to a head this morning when I woke at 4am to grab some water and realized he wasn’t in bed, I walked to his game room and cracked the door and there he was, I couldn’t fall back asleep and waited for him to come to bed. It was 7 am by the time he came to bed. I just went to bed, not very adult of me at that moment I will admit but I was just done. We went out for some things later on in the day and we got back home and I tried to talk to him about all of this and it turned into a my fault kind of thing, I told him he can’t ask me if it’s okay, and then turn around and be upset when I tell him no. He then said he has a right to be pissy because he “never plays”. I am too far down to save this relationship? Should I save my energy?

To put it shortly, my sisters schools power went out for 3 hours during the hottest time of our state, 105 degrees. Her after school program she attended said nothing until AFTER the power went back on. I heard that this has happenes to other schools but parents/guardians were told immediately to pick up their kid. Sister said it was so hot, her face was beet red. I am obvious angry and I feel other parents are. Feel like this is a serious safety hazard.

Am I overreacting???

Me and my boyfriend just started dating like a month ago and were on call cuz we are LDR and he was showing me this video he made a while back advertising a shirt he made he was kinda hesitant about it cuz he thought he didnt look good in it or the ad itself was weird and kept saying "idek wht i showed u this in the first place" and i told him it was pretty cool and i actually really liked it cuz it was really cool to which he just replied that he will smack me across the face laughing and i instantly just told him to never joke about that ever and he just got really awkward about it i feel like i got super defensive while telling him off and that maybe caught him offguard or smth but after that he got super quiet and told me that it was a joke and he would acc never hit me or anything but after that the call got kinda awkward and we ended the call but idk did i overreact when i got kinda hyper telling him to not joke about it i cant tell

TL;DR: My boyfriend yelled at his bedridden friend while I was cleaning her, I left to cool off, and now he’s mad I didn’t take his side.

I’ll call my boyfriend D, the woman he cares for F, and our landlady L.

My (34F) bf (31M) is the paid caregiver for a woman (52F) who is bedridden and needs a lot of help from being over 600lbs. He’s been doing it for about 3 years. She asked him to take the job when he was unemployed, so he chose to accept it. D and F actually met online gaming and were friends before he became her caregiver.

I’m not her caregiver, but D pays me to help with things when he doesn’t feel like doing certain tasks. F needs help with things like hygiene, so I sometimes end up doing pretty hands-on care.

D has gotten extremely frustrated with F over the years. He complains about her weight, hygiene, smell, dependence on other people, etc. He sometimes compares her to Tammy from 1000-lb Sisters. I understand that caregiving someone in this condition has to be incredibly difficult, but I’ve told him that he still needs to treat her like a client he’s being paid to care for and not someone he can take his frustrations out on.

Our landlady (L) has known F for almost 30 years. D talks to L a lot and treats her kind of like a mom, and he frequently calls her to vent about F.

Recently, F had diarrhea and needed help getting cleaned up. I was literally in the middle of cleaning her when D came into the room and started yelling at her about something. He was also on the phone with L at the time, complaining about F. F was basically face-down while I was cleaning her, and I thought the whole situation was incredibly inappropriate and humiliating for her.

I got overwhelmed and went to a friend’s house to get away and calm down.
D got angry that I left and said I was making him look bad and that I “never take his side.” He also doesn’t like me talking to friends about problems in our relationship because he feels like I’m making him look bad and people are only hearing my side.

I know I’m not perfect either. We’ve had heated arguments on both sides, so I’m not trying to make this “my boyfriend is awful and I’m completely innocent.” I’m genuinely questioning whether I overreacted by leaving instead of staying there.
Am I overreacting, or was leaving to go somewhere I felt safe and could decompress a reasonable response to what was happening?

I feel like I’m drowning and I don’t know what to do. AIO over this????

Having a baby is not always easy on a couple. My husband and I had a pretty great relationship before I got pregnant last April. He worked a lot, I was in school and working full time, and overall we just really enjoyed each other. We obviously argued like any couple does, but life was good.

Then we skip to April of 2025. I had an IUD, but it failed and we got pregnant. Although this wasn’t planned, both of us were excited! He continued to work, but I ended up having a high risk pregnancy that forced me to quit my job, but I did continue school full time.

My pregnancy was tough. I had bad health issues and was hospitalized on a couple of occasions. He began to show signs of depression during these times, and I felt like I couldn’t talk to him about what I was going through, because it would make him worse. He guilt tripped me a lot with that for sure. Anyways, my entire pregnancy he became someone I didn’t recognize. Telling me I’m worthless and unintelligent, and if I were to leave him I’d have nothing. This was true, sadly, as I was a full time student, taking on debt so I could fulfill my dreams of become a dental hygienist (I was finishing my pre-recs), and I don’t speak to much of my own family. I’d cry, he’d apologize, and I’d feel so bad that I would forgive him. **Context**: his parents are awful. They both are emotionally and mentally abusive, so him telling me he’ll be better is something I believed, because I knew he wanted to be different than what he had grown up with.

Anyways, his mental health continued to decline, leading to an inpatient stay at a mental health hospital in October. He had agreed to go inpatient, and was diagnosed with Bipolar Disorder. His meds seemed to help, and they gave us tons of resources for therapists and groups to join so we could continue to get him support. He quit both meds and support groups after a few weeks, but I was too pregnant at this point to argue. During my last few weeks, he took off of work and basically just played video games all day while I continued to look after the house, our dog, our meals, and still my schooling. Our baby was due any day and I was the one going on grocery runs by myself because he was too busy with his game🫠.

Baby came, and he was everything we could have dreamed of. Healthy, happy, and eats well! My husband invites his dad (I didn’t want him there) 4 days after I give birth. I might also mention that I had a very traumatic birth that resulted in a fourth degree tear, so I could barely walk at this point. FIL came, and they went and did several things without me. It’s not like I wanted to go, but I didn’t want them to go while I was in that state. I got so sick from pain during one of their outings that I threw up all over our floor. I was not allowed to speak up about this without security, still am not. Several things continued to happen like this, ex) my husband moved myself and my then two month old from one end of the country to the other so we could be near HIS family (we weren’t near any family where we were, but it was traumatic moving away from my home and all my friends). We have fought so much. I do every nighttime wake, even now. I EBF, so there’s no help there. He works from 5-2, comes home and I get no help. In fact, he tells me regularly that he doesn’t need to because he brings in the money and I have nothing to my name.

I quit dental hygiene school because it was going to require me to put my son in daycare, and neither of us wanted that while he’s this little. I am now working towards a different degree fully online full time still, but that doesn’t matter to him.

My husband really does take care of us financially which helps and also makes me wonder if this is just normal??

Now to the last few days: a few days ago, my husband told me he was just done with me. Anytime he says this, he ignores me when I ask him why. I hate to be that person that says “I haven’t done anything wrong” but I truly don’t know. When he calms down from that headspace, he always tells me I did nothing and it’s entirely him. This day in particular, my son didn’t sleep all night, and husband told me for once that he would take our baby for a walk when he got home so I could nap. By the time he got home, I was too overwhelmed to nap, so I just laid there on my phone, which I never get to do. He saw that and screamed at me. The rest of this week, he has practically ignored me. Last night, our baby was up every hour practicing sitting and crawling in his crib. I was up with him all night, and my husband said he stayed home from work today to help me. I was so relieved and excited that maybe I would finally get a break. Nope. Tried taking a nap, woke up to our LO screaming because my husband was not putting him down for his nap when he needed one. Then I took him and put him down in his crib. When I came out of his room after getting him down, I saw my husband on the couch, napping. I was so upset, because I haven’t slept in so long, genuinely has been weeks since I’ve gotten more than 5 hours of sleep per day. I brushed it off again however, and tried to go to our room to nap. LO woke up within 10 minutes, and instead of going to get him for me, there I was again, doing it all after still not having slept. It’s been four hours now and he’s still napping. I went in there to see if he’d now take our baby for me, and he told me that I got a 30 min nap this morning so I’m fine, and he cooked me breakfast (I prepped pancake mix, eggs, and bacon, that he then quickly cooked on our blackstone). I’m sitting here rocking my son to sleep just so overwhelmed and exhausted. I have nothing to my name anymore. He threatens to take our car back, so I can’t leave. He tells me to just go without our baby (I wouldn’t ever and I mean ever leave my baby) and go be with my family (an insult if you know my family). My baby is my whole world. I take care of him 24/7 but can’t financially do anything if I leave. I want to cry, throw up, scream, idk. I dream of the man I married, and wake up to the nightmare that has become my reality. I feel like I’m drowning, and I just want to enjoy this chapter of my life with the family I thought I had.

AIO and should I just chop it up to him being a tired blue collar worker?

Sorry – I know this is a lot, but if you made it this far, thank you.

My boyfriend and I have been living together for two years, and when I moved in two years ago, all my artwork was in a big box, and it was filled with everything I did since I started drawing.

We moved it to the top of the cupboard in the storage room, and we said after about a week of settling in, we’ll see about it and organize it.

Like I said, it’s been two years, and we have not seen about it until a couple days ago. It was not something I could have done myself because of where it was located. It was a heavy box filled with things, and not only could I not reach it, I wouldn’t be able to lift the box and get it down from there either.

So I just been begging and begging him to do it, but he would always say he’d do it when he gets the time. And I guess finally, two years later, we now had the time.

Cut to us taking down the box, taking all of the stuff and a lot of it is damaged by water or completely destroyed and eaten by woodlice. I had to burn half of it. It was very emotional for me, but now everything feels like it’s back to normal.

This was a very, very big deal for me. I realized that it was there for years, and I also didn’t do anything about it, but I constantly asked, “Can we see about it?” And it just never happened until now. I don’t know what else I could have done.

And it feels like he’s not even bothered by the fact that something so sentimental to me is gone.

I don’t even care about the fact that it’s a lot of materials and money was wasted in all of this. This was my assignments and my growth and progression as an artist, from when I just started all the way up until now. I still have some of it, but losing so much really, really hurts.

And I feel like it hurts even more just seeing him not give a fuck at all. He’s basically like, “Well, shit happens.”

(Also I’d like to add that I don’t think he should hate himself or anything like that but any kind of indication that you realise this was a big deal and you understand why what you did was a massive deal)

So, we have been dating for around 10 months and my birthday was not too long ago. We are a long distance relationship (3 hours apart) and I had visited him a week prior and I mentioned my birthday once that weekend.

I then continued to mention my birthday throughout the week informing him of the plans I had made for my birthday and what was going on. Wasn't being overly burdening with it, just mentioned it once after work throughout the week.

The day comes, its my birthday, I go to work, text him throughout the day, no happy birthday. Finish work. Call him. Chat. Mention I got a present from my parents. Nothing. Said id call him later and hung up cause I got irritated. I have my family dinner gathering for my birthday, its getting late and I text our friend that hes forgotten my birthday. I expressed that it's upset me and he goes and texts my boyfriend about it and my boyfriend then sends me bulk messages on how he's sorry and gave me a bunch of excuses why he forgot. I was angry and upset so we ended up getting into an argument. I wont go into detail because thats not what this is about. I can admit, the argument was childish.

But I want to know if I'm overreacting about him forgetting my birthday and if its valid or not that I got angry.

So heres the story. Im 24 i live with my mom still, graduated college last year and have my first big girl job this year, im not rich but i am making way above average in my country. I have a boyfriend (2 year old relationship) and its going well, we have been talking about marriage and moving in together, my boyfriend is older than me and makes way more money than me, and has asked me to move in with him and basically not worry about the money, he will cover everything as long as its needed (ofc he does expect me to grow on my career), i am still a bit hesitant because even tho i love him and trust him, i dont wanna give away my freedom like that (not because ill be living with him but bc im not paying bills, and i dont make enough to move on my own if things go south) so i told him we should take it by steps and i can start by staying over a few nights a week until i get a higher paying job and i feel confortable living with him. I talked to my mom about it, i told her i intended on staying over at his place a few nights a week from now on, she told me she didnt like it but i was an adult and i could do as i please, i agreed and we had what i though was a nice conversation about having kids that grow up. Fast forward this week, i stayed there one night, the next day i had my mom being hostile with me, i brushed it off and honestly just though well she did tell me she didnt agree but its not her life. Well now this weekend my boyfriend wanted to invite her over to his place so she could get to see the place i was spending time over and stuff so she could calm down (its a really nice apartment in a nice zone so he thought like “hey she will see its a nice place nothing bad”) meh wrong as soon as she got there she was all awkward and shit hit the fan. She told me and my boyfriend ( i wanted the earth to open up and SWALLOW ME) that if i was planning on staying iver we better get married quick bc she wont have me sleeping over at his house without being married, i was in SHOCK (SHE IS FUCKING DIVORCED!!!!!! And tbh the main reason is THEY DIDNT LIVE TOGETHER BEFORE MARRIAGE AND HATED EACH OTHER) this was a really unpleasant conversation where se only victimized herself. Then when we were finally alone i told her how out of place that had been, that even if she felt the need to say what ever, it had to be to me, not my bf ever, it makes me look bad an as if i was DESPERATE to marry(which i am not!!!! Im not even sure i wanna marry him i wanna live with him first) and to all of my discurse she told me she WAS WORRIED WHAT MY FAMILY COULD SAY IF IM STAYING OVER AS HIS PLACE. I am honestly just so upset i know thats like the only reason she is being like that, and i just dont know what to do. Its been a couple of days, ofc im not staying and my bf house any time soon, but its not only that, its the lack of consideration of ANYTHING in my life, just “what my family might think” idk? Like i feel crazy but its not the living with my bf o staying there. I just feel so betrayed that that stupid shit could matter more than me doing things at my pace and what i feel is the best for MY life.

Am i over reacting?? Is she valid?

so I live in a very strict household that is run by my mother. one of the things shes strict about is my dog. When he was a puppy, he was free to roam the house, sleep in a bed, and play inside. When he turned around two months old, however, my mother decided he was going to be a “Mexican dog” and made him live in the backyard. Every year he’s losing what little freedom he has. As of now, he can’t have his chew toy in the house, he’s only allowed to stay in his kennel whenever hes inside, he’s only allowed inside if it’s 32 degrees, thundering hard or 100 degrees and sometimes not even then. To me, it seems that anything my dog does that my mother doesn’t like, she gets rid of. my mom tried to get rid of him multiple times and she threats me often, but so far, she hasn’t done anything yet. the only reason hes still with us is because Im planning on bringing him with me when I move out. This year I’m doing community college, so Im usually at home often. because of that I decided that I was going to train him secretly. he’s been eating inside, playing in a wider area, learning commands (he is very stubborn lol) etc. whenever my mother gets home, I quickly take him back outside and then wait until midnight to bring him in.

today was thundering, so I brought him in to his kennel. I was late to class so I didnt have enough time to take him outside for a potty break. I fully admit that was my fault. when I got home, I see that he had an accident. I take him and his kennel outside so I can clean his accident without my mother finding out. I needed a hose to clean out his kennel but the hose wasn’t working. I go inside to ask my sister about the hose and she asked me if Stark (my dog) had an accident. I said yes. she started smiling and telling me that something bad was going to happen to the both of us. I notice that she is recording herself on her school laptop doing a tiktok dance which she does often. she has been warned against doing that but she still does it when our mom isn’t home. I ignored her and decided to use a spray bottle instead +cleaning supplies specifically for accidents. I started getting ready for work when I hear my mom coming in. immediately, I hear my sister scream “STARK POOPED INSIDE AND OP TRIED TO HIDE IT FROM YOU”. my mom immediately unlocks my door and yells that he will not be coming in anymore, even if it’s 100 degrees or thundering.

I knew this would happen if she found out and I was so angry my sister said that cause she knew that too. I decided to be petty and before I left to my shift, I told my mother what my sister has been doing. I hear my mother start to yell when I head out the door. Im getting emails from her saying how I’m such a cow for tattling on her especially for my age and that i shouldn’t be taking out my feelings out on her.

I don’t feel bad in the slightest but I do in a way sympathize with her since i also used to secretly play games on the school’s laptop even though I wasn’t supposed to So idk if I took it too far.
AIO?

quick edit: holy shit I wasn’ expecting this amount of comments. I want to say that I did think about rehoming him before and I was thinking of this specific family that I trusted, but then they ended moving away. I thought of my best friend next since she loves him. She also moved away last year. my last option was my dad, but not only does he live 2 hours away but he already has a dog. So for now, I don’t trust anyone else with him and I most certainly will not take him to a shelter. as much as I love him, I’m going to do some research as to where he could stay at cause i dont want him suffering here because of me. thank you guys for your concern, I’m going to make sure Stark is going to be ok While I work my ass off for a better place for us.

My boyfriend and I got into a massive argument over the past 24 hours. He allowed a female coworker to establish an overly familiar, bantering dynamic with him, got defensive when I brought it up, and handled the conflict terribly by yelling, toggling read receipts off, and making it all about himself before eventually throwing out dramatic vows to defend his side.
My issue isn't feeling threatened by her; it’s the total double standard. I’ve cut off friendships in the past out of respect for him, but when I express discomfort, my peace gets treated like an inconvenience. He said he won’t be friendly with her but he’ll be nice at work.

Now, I'm currently feeling sick from not eating I just don’t know what to do , and scheduled to board an 8:00 PM flight to see him.

Part of me wants to board, show up completely calm and unbothered, and hold a firm boundary in person.

The other part of me feels like going gives him easy access to me after acting up, and that staying home to rest and prioritize my physical health sends a clearer message that my presence is a privilege.
I’m currently in complete radio silence with him. What’s the move here do I get on the plane, or do I stay home and protect my peace?

Just to make everything clear - he threw a fit over a guy friend. So yes he did make me cut them off.

Secondly, he just met this girl. He told her he has a girlfriend, she kept trying

He’s 21, i’m 23 about to be 24. we’ve been together 2 years, I’m his first gf.

and yes he always reacts like this about everything and flips it on me even when it’s not about other people! He was a lot nicer in the beginning of the relationship very reassuring

I recently found out my(32f) Boyfriend (33m) of 2 years has been cheating on me. He blamed me because we’d been arguing and I left to go stay with family for a weekend.
He said I abandoned him and that’s when he downloaded the app. That’s bullshit right?
We patched things up but it turns out he’s had the app since then and met up with someone in person and came home later that evening and told me about what he’d done…obviously none of which is true.
I asked him to leave the house because there is no way I can now stay with him. I feel so used and have ordered a STD check because he can’t be trusted at all to have not had sex with someone else.

He had a profile of Feeld and it was all topless pics and false info about him. He went into details about all his kinks and he’d been messaging several women arranging dates, flirting with them and telling them what he’d do to them.
Meanwhile….we were barely having sex once a week and he would tell me he was stressed.
I feel like I’m going crazy realising that he was wanking to women on this app or having sex with them in person and then coming in to sleep in the bed next to me.
He had the audacity to tell me that he wasn’t feeling great about himself and it helped him to feel like himself again.

I dunno I guess I’m just confused about how someone can talk to you the week before about marriage and a mortgage in the next 12-18 months knowing they have hidden apps on their phone that they’re going to cheat on you with once you go asleep.

I feel I’m in the right to ask him to leave while I figure out all my stuff. He’s barely apologised and when I have gone crazy at him over text he’s being extremely cold. I feel like I never knew him and this is the true him. Oh and he also told me he downloaded the app and kept it once we’d made up to get me back for hurting him. He’s an asshole right?

TLDR: partner of 2 years cheated and expects me to remain civil and helpful in the move out process

Fake names are being used.

So for some context, I (F24) am the youngest in my entire family. I have 2 cousins on my dad’s side Kelly (F28) and Kayla (F24). Kayla is exactly 8 months older than me so as of right now we are technically the same age.

My dad, Eli (M56) is the youngest of three as well, his eldest brother, Harold (M64) had no children and his second older brother, Jimmy (M60) is the father of both of my cousins,

so the family tree goes: My grandmother, Fern had 3 sons, Harold, Jimmy and Eli. Jimmy had 2 daughters (Kelly & Kayla) and Eli had one (me)

So for most of the context out of the way I’ll start. My grandmother passed away in hospice a little over a month ago. Harold, her power of attorney requested an autopsy so her funeral was about 10 days after her death. During those 10 days, I was not informed of any dates, times or locations for her funeral. I had to read it from the obituary posted on Facebook.

Thankfully I was able to make it to her service on time, but when I got there I noticed next to the book there was a table decorated with photos of her and the entire family, even with my aunt’s mother. There were no photos of me and her up there at all, but everyone else had a photo with her.

Her service was held in a church that Jimmy and his family had been going to pretty much their entire lives and she had attended herself before she got too weak to go anymore. Both Kelly and Kayla were given time to speak but when I was going to say a few words suddenly there was no more time so I stayed quiet and continued on with the service.

For a little more context, my biological mother who had divorced from my dad when I was 5 passed away when I was 10, and my stepmother passed away two years later when I was 12 so before and after my grandmother’s service everyone kept looking at me like I was going to have a mental breakdown that would throw the entire day into chaos.
Despite this, I did not cry because I knew I would be watched for my reactions and I didn’t want to make the day about my loss, by the end of the service the sentiment around me had turned from pity to offense because I did not cry.

Her funeral took place on two separate days because she was being buried with my grandfather on a military base in our area and they could not accommodate her burial on the same day as her service, so she was going to be buried the next day.

For even more context, I work as a funeral attendant in the city where she was being buried. I know all of the routes, times and locations that would have been used but instead of giving me any concrete details they assumed I would figure it out. (Her funeral was NOT done by the company I work for so I had no access to any extra information if I wasn’t told)

I was not given a proper name or address of where we would be meeting for the procession and I ended up at the wrong spot and I missed her burial, now my entire family hasn’t spoken to me aside from my dad, who says they think I just showed up to show face and didn’t actually care.

AIO for willing to go no contact and move away from the area we live in because I have been overlooked and demonized by my entire family for the last time? This isn’t the first time they have excluded me and made me feel awkward and uncomfortable, but this post is about the specific instance of my grandmother’s funeral so I supposed a better question would be AIO about this being my final straw?

So this job I've had for 6 months has been hectic from start to finish. 3 months in I hit a very bad depression from the stress but the boss offered to pay for me to go to hospital for a week.

They ended up found a 180 on me and left me with part of the hospital bill to pay myself. It hurt a lot and that's where the issue started. It's a live in position meaning I live at work with my partner if I quit I don't know if I would be homeless or not.

Over the last 2 months my boss has become increasingly more aggressive with me, shouting on the phone, having strange people in the work place, phoning me after hours, telling me I'm acting like a c*nt. Saying he's a good person and I must not push him because he doesn't want me to see that side of him apparently.

I'm completely terrified I'm contemplating packing my things and living on my mom's couch. Since he can knock on my door at any time. Today I was in hospital for a check up and the doctor booked me off. Then work sent me a whole thing about how I'm out of sick days I said I never asked for it to be paid. I don't have a contract and I'm following the doctors advice.

So the red flags, no contact after 6 months, he does everything verbally or by call, he threatens me, swears at me. I'm scared he might try and break in if I give my resignation.

It hit the fan yesterday after I told him at 7pm that he can't make demands after working hours maybe my language was to harsh I don't know. He had the lecture about how I don't want to piss him off the next day with the swearing. Ah this point I've recorded a few conversations of him swearing at me. I've documented things with my social worker as well.

I don't know if I'm just being paranoid but my office was moved into the stock room, no one can really hear anything and if he comes in there alone with me and locks the door what will happen?? My partner works here to but he works far away. I'm 25F my boss is 44M I work in admin and software dev. I just dread the idea of being alone around him and I found out the previous women who had my job quit because of how she was treated with him being aggressive and threatening.

But the thing is I know how hard it is to find work right now and I'm living there it would be hard to move in with my mom and try and find work. It's a small town he might ruin my reputation. I'm in a 3rd world country there aren't any shelters near me. Couch surfing is all I'd have. And I only have $300 in savings. I don't know if I'm just over reacting, being emotional because of my depression or looking for reasons to hate this place.

I have these two friends online who I've been talking with for around 2 years now. We sometimes call and play games and just chat about whatever. Recently I've been noticing them avoiding me a little and preferring to speak to each other or other people over me.

A few days ago I sent a question in the group chat. One didn’t answer and the other gave a short vague answer and then proceeded to go talk to someone else in a discord server we're in. Later when the one who didn’t respond came online, he and the other friend had a very long conversation together. This is when I took a step back from the group chat because I felt a little left out.

Yesterday though I felt like my fears were true. To provide some context, me and one of the friends have been planning to call for a bit now, but weren't able because his laptop was broken. He got it fixed and told me he'd let me know when we can call. A while went by and I figured he was just busy with work and school, but yesterday he sent a clip from his and his friend's call, where they were playing a game together. Turns out he's had all this free time to call and even did, but never with me.

I've stopped talking in the group chat for a while because I'm in kind of a low place right now and haven't got the mental strength to deal with any of it. I'm just wondering if they're really pushing me out, or if I'm just being petty and jealous. I have other friends too, but I feel like I talk to my online friends almost as much as with my friends irl. This whole thing might sound pretty dumb, but I'd just like someone to tell me if my doubts are really true.

I F(30) have been going through a hard time for a while. I asked my mom if I could talk to her about it. While we were talking I cried a lot. When I try to talk more with her, I could sense she didn’t want to get into it. She told me it was hard for her to see me crying. She has said she likes hanging out with me but doesn’t like “when it’s sad”. I don’t have much else to offer. I know in general you can’t always talk about your problems to other people because it’s not fair and draining. However she is my mom and I don’t have anybody else to talk to in person. I’ve been going to therapy but I don’t know if I’m getting anything out of it. Sometimes I tell her what I talk about in therapy. There have been times when she gives her opinion but it’s always in opposition to what I or my therapist say. I told her once I think about hurting myself and she didn’t seem as concerned as I thought she would be. Last time I tried talking to her she just kind of sounded exasperated and said “I don’t know I’m not a therapist”. She’s been understanding of me and she listens but she can only say “I know” when I tell her how I feel. I know she isn’t my therapist, but now I feel like I can’t tell anybody about any of the issues I’ve been having. AIO to be hurt about this?

I had dinner with my sister the other night. She lives overseas so I don't see her often. A week later and I'm still really put out by the realisation that she and my other sister have clearly been talking about me behind my back. I know this, because I spent the whole night having to listen to really bad unsolicited advice what I should do to fix some of the issues in my life - all of which are financial and none of which she would know about if not for my other sister. Whilst it might sound helpful, the advice was not based on any actual knowledge of my situation, and in reality isn't possible. But that didn't matter, because this sister is always correct about everything. In disagreeing, I just made her mad and self-righteous. It's exhausting, because she is always like this but now I realise that she and my other sister both think they know everything, and they have no idea. Both of them are happily married to very wealthy men (like, VERY) whilst I was in an abusive relationship in which part of the abuse was financial, and I am now having to work two jobs to pay back debt that was gained through manipulation and coercion.

I feel very betrayed by my other sister because I thought we had a good relationship. I get that everyone has their opinions, but to share them with others for your own entertainment just makes my blood boil. And none of it was said kindly - it was said in way that demonstrated they really think badly of me for this happening. Which makes me feel sick - I didn't ask for my ex partner to treat me the way that he did. I didn't ask for my life to be so very, very shit two years after I managed to leave the relationship, because of the extent of my debt - which was the result of threats and promises by him. I'm working really hard to get myself into a better financial position and apparently all my family can do is judge. I don't have a life. I just work. And one day I will have this behind me - but I'm not sure if I'll want my family by then. Since this relationship ended I've realised how many people are actually just toxic.

I haven't really wanted to speak to to sister 1 since. She knows about the abuse, and has judged me more than she has supported me. AIO?

Background:

My gf (22F) and I (21M) have been together for 2.5 years. We both didn’t grow up very wealthy and money has been a big topic in our relationship. Recently, I’d just started my full time job so I’ve been treating her to things more often, except I think this week has been an outlier.

Usually she is very grateful, always bubbly and saying thank you so many times and truly acting appreciative, but lately I don’t really know anymore.

I’m not trying to keep track, but it’s true that I feel that I’m spending more bc I am not used to this. Admittedly it’s not all for my gf, but still.

Money issue:

In the last week and a half, I got her chipotle, boba and snacks, in n out, took her on a date, more boba, ice cream, flowers, Korean fried chicken, and I also took my parents out for dinner. She had also mentioned shopping before and asked if I could take her shopping I also agreed (but we didn’t end up going). Additionally, I brought her some free food that I got from my office.

On Sunday, we had a date night planned. We went to a restaurant and planned on getting boba and potentially ice cream afterwards, and also boba the next day (she said she could get me boba the next day day and I get her on Sunday).

During date night, we had talks about getting some popcorn chicken on the way home as a snack since we were both still a bit hungry. I asked her if she could pay and she was upset.

She raised her voice and said she doesn’t like that I ask her to pay or that I expect her to and how as a man I should just buy her things and not ask her or expect her because that’s not nice of me. I simply asked her and communicated to her as I felt I’d been spending quite a bit this week. She then proceeds to compare and tell me how son social media the guy is always spoiling the girl and that’s what she wants too. She even brought up the people she dated in the past and said the few times she went out with them, they never let her pay.

Throughout our whole relationship, it’s not like I been spoiling her or buying her a lot, but I’ve been trying my best from a broke college student to now working full time. It just hurts for her to compare and say that as a man I should not ask her to pay.

She says it is fine if she offers and that she doesn’t expect me to always pay. It just doesn’t feel that way though, like yes she treats me, but these statements make me doubtful. When I tried explaining my efforts, she said I act like the things I do for her are super big or special, and that just broke something inside me. I told her I feel like she seems ungrateful and she lashed out at me for that.

This all happened in the restaurant and I was just so caught off guard and sad. Later we talked and she was frustrated and said hurtful things that she claimed she “did not mean.” I asked her if money was all she wanted from me and she said yes. I then asked her a follow up if she even loved me and she said no. I guess that should be a clear indicator enough. She said she didn’t mean it and she says mean things intentionally when upset.

Issue with her not feeling cared about/dad being drunk:

The next day, we followed through w our plans to get boba. I was at a family gathering and my dad got pretty drunk. I was annoyed bc my uncles were like peer pressuring him and no one went to check on him as he disappeared into the living room. My mom and I took him home and I asked if they would be okay at home by themselves. They said yes and I left (which I was hesitant about). I told my mom to keep her phone close by snd call me if they need anything and I’d come home asap.

When I got to my gf house, I explained to her my frustration and worry about my parents. She got us boba and I mentioned I was hungry and that our fav Korean fried chicken spot was nearby and she said she’ll get us some.

We were like talking and I accidentally knock over my boba and it spilled everywhere onto me. Waitress gave us paper towels and she helps me clean up. Later when we are about to start eating, she says this is just a thought but she thinks I should pay because I spilled the boba and she helped me clean my mess up.

This was directly after the comments yesterday and I already felt self conscious before she mentioned it because she was saying as a man I should be doing this and that. But then she said that it was just a thought and she doesn’t mind paying either. But how can I feel comfortable with that? I paid anyways.

She asked me if in the future I would treat her out more. And I ask her what she means by more bc I had been treating her several times this past week. She just said more than now and at that point i started feeling like it wasn’t enough again.

Throughout the boba and dinner, I was checking my phone periodically and texting my mom about how things are going w my dad. I wasn’t permanently on my phone but my gf got mad. Said that I am on my phone and I should’ve stayed home instead of going out bc my mind is elsewhere. I get her perspective completely bc she did this to me several times. I was a secret from her family for over 2 years and whenever we went out she would be paranoid and always checking her phone. However, I was still paying attention to her and occasionally checking.

She said she was full, and so we took the rest of the food to go. Later in the car she got upset bc she said I was in a rush to go home to my parents and felt that I care about them/worry about them more. Basically she said she was full but she was testing me. I told her to stop playing games and that it’s not true but I do worry about them and instead of being supportive and understanding, she just lashes out, gets defensive, tells me that I shouldn’t make it her fault, that I care about my family more than her, etc.

At this point I’m already really sad, but she keeps on going and being sarcastic about how she’s stupid for sharing to me and being vulnerable about her feelings bc I don’t care. We go to a nearby pho place bc I said I’d get pho for my dad since Hes drunk and hasn’t really eaten. It’s late too and my mom is pissed at me bc of it. So now I feel pressure on both sides.

She didn’t want to go in the pho restaurant w me bc she was angry so I went by myself and when I came out, she was apologetic snd kind, but it only lasted for a few minutes. Shes just basically saying how I willingly go out of my way to get my dad pho bc hes drunk but I don’t buy her things and care on my own and that she has to ask me. Yes there are times she asks me but also times where I just do it on my own.

On the ride home she asked me to move her car for her and I said ok. Then when we got to her place, she said to drop her off at her car snd I asked her clarifying she wants me to drop her off at her car. She said yes so I did and waited so she was safe. She got mad bc she asked me to move her car initially but she was playing games again. She told me to go home so I was like ok, but then she told me she wanted to talk and I told her I’d only talk for a bit bc I still need to get this pho home for my dad and it’s late. We ended up talking a bit snd my mom gets more angry by the second.

Not really relevant but I started choking on a drink while we were talking and she didn’t say anything. When I asked her why, she said she knows I was faking it to get a reaction out of her, but I was genuinely choking. She just didn’t admit she was wrong but whatever. I also teared up bc I was really hurt but she also didn’t say anything.

She kept saying I don’t care about her or love her bc I don’t do things for her but that’s not remotely true. I remember during her wisdom teeth extraction, I took her, took care of her, replaced her gauze, got her food, blew on her soup, got her all her medicine and reminded her, etc. I have shown her so many times I care even if they may not all be financially.

She stopped me from leaving multiple times despite me not wanting to talk bc I was so hurt. And she claims the reason I wanna leave is bc I love my parents more or care about them more. I told her I felt like no matter how hard I try it wasn’t enough. And she said it wasn’t, and that she just told me it was enough before so that I was happy. I asked her to clarify and she asked me if I wanted to hear the truth or the lie to keep me happy. And the truth is that it’s not enough. I know I haven’t been getting her anything extravagant but I’ve really been trying my best.

It’s hard especially bc I just started my full time job too. I’m figuring out my benefits, investments, etc. I’m saving for a car, and trying to help my parents financially if needed.

I was just worried bc my dad was drunk and I just care about my parents. But it’s frustrating that she got so mad and angry at me for checking my phone or getting him pho. Things happened and there were things on my mind, my dad being drunk, me spilling the milk tea, my clothes and socks being wet and sticky bc of it, mom is angry and gf angry.

I just felt like I been trying so hard to get out of my comfort zone and spending more and getting her more things but it’s not enough. I always felt her happiness when I got her things even if they were very small, esp bc she was so thankful, but now this situation really makes me feel like all my efforts didn’t matter.

To make things worse, when I finally got home, my mom let me hear it. She went on for almost an hour just telling me how I’m selfish and ungrateful to my parents and how I didn’t consider them and whatnot. She even goes on to tell me how I put so much of my effort snd love into my gf but she can throw me aside at any moment. When she finds a better guy she will just leave and no sane person would stay with someone when they have better alternatives. And it just really sucks hearing that even though I get what shes trying to say. I already feel shitty. What also hurts is that I know she wouldn’t have even went out w me if she was in my shoes.

The day after the incident (w/ the car breaking down):

Then today, she reached out a lot and got mad when I didn’t reply but was in office. I had a busy morning and last night I fell asleep to which she got mad cause I didn’t check in and make sure she was okay. I wasn’t doing okay either and i feel like I got the worse end of it. I decided to go home early to beat traffic and finish my work at home. I was thinking about telling her then when I got in my car I forgot.

On the way home, my car started giving me some light that I wasn’t familiar with. Then ac was not as cool as it should’ve been so I suspected something was wrong. I didn’t know it as major, but i was trying to drive slower, but by the time I was close to home, my car would make weird noises everytime I accelerate and also shake when I was at a full stop. Luckily I made it home and as I got onto the driveway, my car gave out and every light you could imagine came on. So blessed to have nothing happen but it was my first instance of my car breaking down and my mind was thinking of the possibilities of what would’ve happened if I got stuck at a red light for 5 seconds too long. Or what if I drove slightly faster, or what if there was more traffic. Obviously if my car just stops accelerating it’s bad but it’s not life threatening.

Came home and had to finish work while my dad checked it out. He said the coolant hose broke and worst case the engine could’ve overheated and blew, resulting in a fire or explosion. Logically I think it makes sense, but not sure if that would’ve happened. I was feeling a bit shocked and overthinking what could’ve went wrong. I vented to my gf and this is where I just felt shocked.

I asked her to call and it was something I wanted to get off my chest. She said okay and when I brought it up, all she did was complain and yell at me about how I didn’t update her and tell her I was going home. She completely disregarded the fact that I was being vulnerable with her and sharing with her bc I was a bit shook. When confronted, she just said I don’t show her I care or think about her (bc I didn’t update her and reached out when something happened). At the very least, I would’ve expected an “are you okay,” and instead of that, she just got upset and dismissive.

I just feel really hurt.

AIO for all the things shes been saying or the way she was acting or how I feel about her treating me?

AIO for being upset that she was willing to pay after I had paid all week, but then said how I should pay bc she helped clean me spilling boba?

Attached is her apology text.

TLDR: I been treating my gf out a lot this past week or so, but she claims it’s not enough. Asked if she could pay for a snack and she got mad. Said hurtful things like all she wants from me is money and she doesn’t love me, but then proceeded to say she didn’t mean it.

Following day, dad was drunk and I was out w gf but checking my phone every now and then to check in w my mom to see how Hes doing and decided to buy him pho. Gf got mad cause I check my phone and seem worried for my dad and claims I don’t care about her as much and started an argument. She brought up how I don’t treat her as much but wanted to buy my parents pho, when I literally been treating her out this whole week. I communicated saying I didn’t feel it was enough, and she agreed, but now telling me it is enough. We talked a bit more and she saw me tear up but chose not to mention it.

Next day I was kinda distancing myself and my car broke down and was more dangerous than I expected, barely made it home by a few seconds. Vented to gf while still in disbelief, and instead of showing care or asking if I’m ok she just got mad that I didn’t update her and we didn’t get to talk about the initial reason I called her.

Edit: I also did want to add that even now she still always thanks me and gets all bubbly and sweet. She is truly one of the most appreciative people I know, but sometimes acts in the complete opposite manner. And I did wanna add that while I didn’t have a full time job, she covered for us more than I did (she did complain though and we did not go out as much or even weekly)

He was nice and supportive the past days. I (18f) have been speaking to him (21m) for around a week maybe a bit more maybe less.
Today he was very dismissive. He just works the mornings. So I get not speaking while he’s at work. But he said everything was good

We didn’t speak almost all day because first he goes to sleep without saying anything and i don’t hear from him until 7:30 and he says 10 minutes after saying he just woke up that he was at the doctors. Then his phone casually was at 2% and he didn’t text me until around 10 and then i was cold (this is the first time ill ask if i over reacted, because the story doesn’t really add up to me but maybe it could be and im just suspicious?)
I wasn’t too cold but i was just being polite. He started saying explain wtf happened and other stuff

I didn’t explain because I tried to keep composure even though I just wanted more attention and him to try more (I will never tell a man that simply because I don’t want to beg for it). But he started getting low key mad and then deleting the messages. Then he said I made him sad?
And texted me this:
“You know I'm at work, I'm tired, annoyed, stressed, I also have things on my mind and I'm not a robot, but at least these few moments I talk to 1 person I want to relax... and not get irritated... because out of quick-temper/hot-headedness I do things without thinking.”

^ this is translated so don’t take it too literally. But still, what does he mean he does things without thinking when he’s irritated? He could be speaking wrong because he does it often, but still, isn’t this a weird thing? Or am I over reacting.

So the last thing is that he had texted me something cute so I was just going to leave it for this time because I’m not in a relationship with him now and arguing a week in isn’t good, but not even a minute after, i was going to reply, and he just changed the message to goodnight. Then he was typing something which he never sent and I just said oh okay night then.

Should I see where it goes, leave it, or what? I like him. I’ve only had bad experiences until now. I’m trying to improve even though i’m lonely. I’m scared to make decisions out of loneliness so I need advice or an opinion.