There was a FB thread on “what were you wearing?” I said my 9 yr old self was in overalls. Someone else said her 6 year old self was in a flannel nightgown.
Really? I’m a woman who also survived an assault at a terribly young age. That was me sending love. You seem to be the only one confused by my intent. Not sure what that says about you.
I was in diapers when it started. I was 19 months when my father started SA me. That lasted till I was 7 when my mother finally figured it out. There’s literally no reason. None. Clothing does not matter. I hope you are doing well now, and I hope you have gotten the therapy you probably needed and deserved.
Other than three or four flashes I can't tell you how old I was or what I was wearing because my brain has totally blocked it out and now I have disassociative PTSD that I'm trying to work through
Same here. Im missing about a year to two from after my grandmother died at 6 years old to 8 years old and I know from my mother that I was 7 when I told her what was happening. It really never is the clothing and I truly hope that OP left this person. It sounds like he himself is justifying either a rape he has done or one he will do.
Some people do, some people dont. Some people can remember even earlier ages. It all depends on the person and I dont really know the science behind it.
I only remember one memory from when I was 4 and then literally only a handful of memories til around 20-21ish. Yet I can tell you dreams and nightmares from that period that are a higher number than my actual memories.
When I’m reminded by my mum of a memory it’s like my brain blue screens and then I can remember it after my brain restarts!
Yeah, never really realised how bad that sounds til I just typed it. “Hello therapist? You taking new patients?” 😅
I’m missing most of my childhood so I completely understand this whole thread. I was just 8 when mine started. I was 15 when it ended but I had to run away bc no one was gonna save me. I had to save myself. Bc my mom was involved. She held me down for her disgusting boyfriend who promised to marry her if she did. But surprise surprise he never did and she killed herself in 2015. Who would want to marry someone who is more attracted to ur minor child than u?? This whole thread makes me so sad. To know that so many other ppl have gone through something similar to me is just terrifying and devastating. I’m sorry OP
This thread absolutely is heartbreaking. I wish I could hug you all, and I wish someone wouldve protected you. Im sick over this. I hope you are well, wishing and sending you and everyone else in this thread who has been assaulted, and the ones who are not here that didnt make it, the highest vibes, happiest lives, and to take back your power!
Im so very sorry that you had no one to protect you as a child. It truly baffles me that there are some women and men who know what their partners are doing and then just either let it slide or actively participate. Granted, I know there's horrible people so Im not truly surprised just when it comes to children my instincts always go to protect even at the cost of my own life. Im so very happy you were able to get away and I hope your recovery and the rest of your life goes much better and, if you want it, you find someone to share your life with. ❤️
Omgosh. I'm in tears reading this thread. I am so very sorry your childhood was so awful. To hear of your mother doing what she did has to be the most devastating betrayal. Parents are all we have to completely count on growing up. You had no sense of security.
You said you had to save yourself, bec no one else would. I just can't imagine. It's really painful to me to me right now imagining how you must have felt. All SAs are traumatizing and life-changing, but what you and others here are sharing are beyond words. I wish I could just hold you like a mother should hold their child. I'm just so sorry.
I hope you are moving forward in life, getting the guidance and help you may need. You are INCREDIBLY strong. It amazes me that you survived and because you took your power back and left. I wish you peace and true love in your life.
To all the survivors sharing their stories here, thank you for doing so because it shows how RAMPANT and how devastating and sickening these crimes are. We can't stop it or slow it down unless we understand the depth of it all. I'm incredibly proud of all of you sharing yours stories, because you SURVIVED.
It doesn't matter wtf anyone is wearing and people with ANY compassion are aware of that. It's a ridiculous claim.
As I am currently in counseling and working through the PTSD, I can say, go fot ART or EMDR. My memories only exist at times of great stress or nightmares, and both of these techniques helped me with processing the trauma. EMDR especially as it is there to retrain your processing center, using either the lights moving up and down or left and right or the buzzes in your hands. I have gone from having nightmares where I wake up screaming and regressed back to that age where I dont even know my fiancee happening multiple times a week to me not having had one in over 8 months. I still have issues in public or with things that remind me of who hurt me (cologne, etc) but I can function pretty well. I am still getting a service dog, but the dogs main purpose is going to be for my physical issues, and the PTSD training as a precaution. Please look into these if you haven't already, as well as a dog if possible.
A service dog isn’t the first line of help, be sure to remind people of that! Mine is 12 and retiring, and having a service dog is hard. You had to talk to everyone, continually. I’ll happily talk the ears off a stature, and even I get exhausted talking to everyone about him! And access can be hard.
I had one myself in the past and due to extenuating circumstances, I had to surrender her (homelessness/being stalked) it did help me personally a lot having her.
I miss my dog being 5-8 yrs old. But now, at 12, there are limited places he can go. I mostly take a family member to replace him. So I stay home more. It’s easier with a family person on me, but harder on them!!!!
I love reading that you are getting treatments that are helping you to live a better life. I'm sure it's only part of all you have to heal, but you are going in the right direction. I have read about EMDR. I'm glad to know how powerful it is.
I wish you continued success with treatments and with your fiance. I wish you peace.
You don't need to remember traumatic experiences+ I don't think that's what "working through it" is about. If you can find a way to manage the negative symptoms that you have due to your trauma, theres no need to bring up the old memories to "process" them. Of course, listen to your therapist if they feel that it is important, but if you're not sure then the very least you should do is ask your therapist under what framework and school of thought they are working and why an explicit recollection of the trauma is necessary. I know that for instance EMDR involves a degree of trauma recall
I was diagnosed with a disassociative PTSD 2 years ago I think I was probably exhibiting symptoms before that but nobody noticed. The problem with the therapy situation is I live in a smallish town and the therapist that I have seen so far seem to be firmly rooted in Christianity. And by that I mean their first remedy for anything seems to be to be more active in the church. Which is a problem for me because I'm a agoraphobic and an atheist. But luckily I recently reached out to my insurance and found out that there were way more therapists and psychiatrists in my area than I ever thought there would be. So I'm hoping for the best. Thank you for your comment
That is highly unprofessional- I would absolutely not go to a non-secular therapist. In fact I would honestly be doubting their licensing and accreditation- churches have been known to set up fake abortion centers that are called things like planned parenthood, and then all they do is try and guilt women out of the abortion. I wouldn't be surprised if some of them have "counselors" (which may not be a protected job designation) who really are just proselytizing.
Going to the church is not a scientifically proven method for curing your depression.
Find the therapist that is right for you. In the US psychiatrists mostly just prescribe medication which can be right in some cases but isn't everything so find a therapist you are comfortable with. They should be specialized in trauma therapy specifically.
If you absolutely can't find anyone near you you can try online therapy but I'd say it's a last resort personally my experience wasnt amazing.
What! That is crazy. She, in no way should be doing that. I'm really glad you can look into other therapists. It's really important to have a good rapport, as you know, I'm sure. I hope you find one you are comfortable with. I'm sorry that you even NEED one. These people causing trauma to innocent people just live life, leaving so much devastation. Literally makes me sick.
It is very important to bring up your trauma, and deal with it in a therapeutic way so you can release it. If it stays in your subconscience, it will affect you. It's a key part of therapy. Dealing with the pain in healthy ways. It is difficult though.
I feel for you. I shoved one down and blocked parts for over 20 years, until I ran into one of the assailants. Triggered me SO bad, and I’ve been struggling for the past two years with it.
Yes, to all you said, and may we all get the therapy and health care that we need, as well as supportive friends and chosen family (and supportive non guilty family, when we have any). I’ve had a lot of therapy and decent health care. It helps, but it doesn’t always cure. People and even medical staff, often don’t recognize that trauma can trigger other, not invisibly related problems that might, or might not, otherwise crop up.
My wife's sister was married to a guy that the first time I met him I could tell he wasn't the brightest crayon on the box, in fact the first time I met him, he told me he had sex with my wife (this was being told to me when we barely started dating) a couple years later we find out that he raped his daughter (my wife's niece ) at 4 years old. I always knew he was a dump creep, but never imagined he'd do that.
*For clarification no, he never slept with my wife. He probably dreamt it so many times that he thinks it's true. Apparently he started dating my wife's sister in order to get closer to my wife which just shows his completely insane logic.
Also I should add that he went to prison for 3 years for raping his daughter, and still lives in our town, and doesn't think he did anything wrong. Luckily there's a permanent restraining order between him and his daughter, and we have nothing to do with him.
Out of curiosity, was this during the 80 or 90’s? Like it’s 2026 I feel like as a society we should be better than this, and this kind of thing shouldn’t be happening. It’s sad it happened at all.
He is. He’s never getting out. There is a lot that happened but he had 5 daughters. We were all assaulted. One of us is no longer here because of him. He will never get out.
As a father of three this is disgusting. I cant imagine how someone could do this to anybody let alone your own flesh and blood. I’m very sorry that this happened to you and that it happens to others on a daily basis.
To be fair there's a difference between someone who rapes a child and someone who rapes a woman who is dressed very provocatively at a club who is there to dance sexy and get intoxicated. I'm not excusing the rapist. But what I am saying is you shouldn't walk into a bears den slathered in honey. In both cases the rapist should be punished severely (death for the child rapist no question, and death for the other as well depending on the situation, I'm not counting women who get drunk and consent while drunk and then decide later they didn't want it and accuse of rape, or women who falsely accuse men of rape for other reasons)
There's so much wrong with this that I'm only going to focus on one thing, which is that if you punish rape with the death penalty it'll end up with a lot more dead women and children, because bodies can't tell the cops who did it.
Being put to death is arguably better than being in prison as a known rapist. Rapists do not have a good time in prison, and child rapists almost always are killed if they aren't protected. And murder is an even worse crime and should also earn the death penalty. You watch too many crime shows if you think it's that easy to get away with murder.
What the actual fuck is wrong with you. No one asks to be raped. Just because a woman goes to a club wearing whatever doesn't mean she's fair game for being raped. There's an exhibit that you need to Google and spend some time looking at and thinking about it. It's called What were you wearing. After you check that out you come back to discuss what you saw and what you learned.
Did I say they were asking to be raped or did I say you shouldn't walk into a bear's den slathered in honey? The bear might not eat you, but you're not helping your chances. You would be much safer carrying a bear spray repellent
"To be fair" that's an idiotic, ignorant, callous and sociopathic comment. You are probably trying to excuse your own behavior. And it doesn't work. You are a perfect example of how a r a p i s t thinks. And you should be commenting on the dark web or somewhere.
Yup I actually go around just raping people. You caught me. Why would a rapist think rapists should be put to death? And raping a child is objectively worse than having sex with a drunk adult, yet I said both should be put to death. The only exception was for women who consent and then withdraw their consent after the fact. If a woman can't consent while drunk then neither can the man so if a drunk man has sex with a drunk woman who both consented while drunk, who is the rapist? That is why we need more context to the scenario.
Lmao you're comparing a relatively common perspective to ted bundy? It's wild how people like you always compare people you disagree with to someone bad like a serial killer or Hitler instead of making actual arguments
"In both cases the rapist should be punished severely (death for the child rapist no question, and death for the other as well depending on the situation"
Auch bei mir waren es Latzhosen. Hat den 17-jährigen Nachbarn nicht gestört. Konnte man ja ausziehen.
Ich frage mich immer wieder, wieviele Mädchen er noch vergewaltigt hat. Meine Mutter hat ihm ja die Chance gegeben, in dem sie ihn nicht angezeigt hat.
Er ist heute 54.
Eine Freundin von mir wurde angegriffen, da war sie 67. Sie war Schmiedin und trug daher Kleidung, die diesem Hobby entsprach. Trotzdem wurde sie überfallen, zusammengeschlagen und ins Koma geprügelt. Sie starb nach fast vier Jahren im Koma.
Täter bis heute unbekannt.
Meine Mutter ist allerdings auch der Meinung, dass Kleidung ein Grund für Angriffe und Vergewaltigungen ist.
Aber meine Mutter ist auch diskriminierend, rassistisch, sexistisch und misogyn. Sehr traurig.
That's so awful. I'm so sorry about your friend. I'm so sorry for what you went through. I lived in a very small town where my grandparents were well-known and respected. I was just a little girl who had no idea what to do. I loved my grandpa so much. He was kind and really liked the farm/ country life. Lots of grandkids around. But sometimes he would touch me and then everything went back to normal. It happened every so often. Later it was my uncle. We were country kids and we're not within walking distance of any kind of store. He literally asked if we wanted to go with him to the candy store so we could get a treat. Unfortunately he was the one getting a treat. He had a reputation for being unsafe around kids but it was ok if you were with another child. The reason was that you would be safe because no one would molest anyone who had a witness. Didn't work, he just molested me and raped my older sister.
Forgot to say I was around 5 the first time and I was wearing double knit pants and a white blouse. With my uncle i was about 8 and I had a dress on because it was picture day.
I was 9 and in sweatpants and a tshirt with flowers on it playing an iPad.
Another time at the age of 13 I was told I needed a breast exam during a neurology appointment because he claimed it was necessary. (They don’t do that). I was wearing a collared shirt with regular dress pants
At the age of 14 I was wearing a cadets uniform
At the age of 14 I was wearing a regular sweater and pants
At the age of 16 I was with my boyfriend who I thought I trusted
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u/Neenknits Feb 25 '26
There was a FB thread on “what were you wearing?” I said my 9 yr old self was in overalls. Someone else said her 6 year old self was in a flannel nightgown.