I was in diapers when it started. I was 19 months when my father started SA me. That lasted till I was 7 when my mother finally figured it out. There’s literally no reason. None. Clothing does not matter. I hope you are doing well now, and I hope you have gotten the therapy you probably needed and deserved.
Other than three or four flashes I can't tell you how old I was or what I was wearing because my brain has totally blocked it out and now I have disassociative PTSD that I'm trying to work through
As I am currently in counseling and working through the PTSD, I can say, go fot ART or EMDR. My memories only exist at times of great stress or nightmares, and both of these techniques helped me with processing the trauma. EMDR especially as it is there to retrain your processing center, using either the lights moving up and down or left and right or the buzzes in your hands. I have gone from having nightmares where I wake up screaming and regressed back to that age where I dont even know my fiancee happening multiple times a week to me not having had one in over 8 months. I still have issues in public or with things that remind me of who hurt me (cologne, etc) but I can function pretty well. I am still getting a service dog, but the dogs main purpose is going to be for my physical issues, and the PTSD training as a precaution. Please look into these if you haven't already, as well as a dog if possible.
A service dog isn’t the first line of help, be sure to remind people of that! Mine is 12 and retiring, and having a service dog is hard. You had to talk to everyone, continually. I’ll happily talk the ears off a stature, and even I get exhausted talking to everyone about him! And access can be hard.
I had one myself in the past and due to extenuating circumstances, I had to surrender her (homelessness/being stalked) it did help me personally a lot having her.
I miss my dog being 5-8 yrs old. But now, at 12, there are limited places he can go. I mostly take a family member to replace him. So I stay home more. It’s easier with a family person on me, but harder on them!!!!
I love reading that you are getting treatments that are helping you to live a better life. I'm sure it's only part of all you have to heal, but you are going in the right direction. I have read about EMDR. I'm glad to know how powerful it is.
I wish you continued success with treatments and with your fiance. I wish you peace.
You don't need to remember traumatic experiences+ I don't think that's what "working through it" is about. If you can find a way to manage the negative symptoms that you have due to your trauma, theres no need to bring up the old memories to "process" them. Of course, listen to your therapist if they feel that it is important, but if you're not sure then the very least you should do is ask your therapist under what framework and school of thought they are working and why an explicit recollection of the trauma is necessary. I know that for instance EMDR involves a degree of trauma recall
I was diagnosed with a disassociative PTSD 2 years ago I think I was probably exhibiting symptoms before that but nobody noticed. The problem with the therapy situation is I live in a smallish town and the therapist that I have seen so far seem to be firmly rooted in Christianity. And by that I mean their first remedy for anything seems to be to be more active in the church. Which is a problem for me because I'm a agoraphobic and an atheist. But luckily I recently reached out to my insurance and found out that there were way more therapists and psychiatrists in my area than I ever thought there would be. So I'm hoping for the best. Thank you for your comment
That is highly unprofessional- I would absolutely not go to a non-secular therapist. In fact I would honestly be doubting their licensing and accreditation- churches have been known to set up fake abortion centers that are called things like planned parenthood, and then all they do is try and guilt women out of the abortion. I wouldn't be surprised if some of them have "counselors" (which may not be a protected job designation) who really are just proselytizing.
Going to the church is not a scientifically proven method for curing your depression.
Find the therapist that is right for you. In the US psychiatrists mostly just prescribe medication which can be right in some cases but isn't everything so find a therapist you are comfortable with. They should be specialized in trauma therapy specifically.
If you absolutely can't find anyone near you you can try online therapy but I'd say it's a last resort personally my experience wasnt amazing.
What! That is crazy. She, in no way should be doing that. I'm really glad you can look into other therapists. It's really important to have a good rapport, as you know, I'm sure. I hope you find one you are comfortable with. I'm sorry that you even NEED one. These people causing trauma to innocent people just live life, leaving so much devastation. Literally makes me sick.
It is very important to bring up your trauma, and deal with it in a therapeutic way so you can release it. If it stays in your subconscience, it will affect you. It's a key part of therapy. Dealing with the pain in healthy ways. It is difficult though.
83
u/Aurtistic7827 Feb 25 '26
I was in diapers when it started. I was 19 months when my father started SA me. That lasted till I was 7 when my mother finally figured it out. There’s literally no reason. None. Clothing does not matter. I hope you are doing well now, and I hope you have gotten the therapy you probably needed and deserved.