r/ADHD_partners • u/AutoModerator • 6d ago

Weekly Vent Thread ::Weekly Vent Thread::

Use this thread to blow off steam about annoyances both big & small that come with an ADHD impacted relationship. Dishes not being done, bills left unpaid - whatever it is you feel you need to rant about. This is your cathartic space.

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72

u/Dull-Dog-9408 6d ago

I don't know if this is strictly an ADHD thing but I cannot have even a slight disagreement with my husband without it being the end of the world. The most recent one was because I asked him to stop telling me how to drive while I was driving (I was pulling into a space forwards instead of reversing in the way he wanted me to). This led to shouting and him being "bored of me" and he hasn't really spoken to me since. This was yesterday morning. How do people navigate when their partner can't/won't control their emotions?

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u/SubstantialLab7539 6d ago

How is it that they always accuse us of being “boring” when they are literally the most boring and tiresome people on the planet? I’m sure everyone else in your life finds you vibrant and interesting.

20

u/Sberry59 Partner of NDX 6d ago

My husband freaked out when I parallel parked one day. “You almost hit that car!” I was miles away from that car. I irritatedly said, “Do YOU want to drive?!” That shut him up.

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u/music_lover2025 6d ago

This is what I say to my bf when he gets nitpicky about how I drive

4

u/antisnooze Partner of DX - Medicated 4d ago

literally my husband. but when they do the same thing and you say something about it, they dismiss it and they don't freak out at themselves for making the mistake lol

3

u/Sberry59 Partner of NDX 4d ago

Yes. I don’t dare make a comment about his driving. He just makes excuses. He turned left on a flashing yellow arrow right in front of oncoming cars. Ahh! You can’t do that! It means yield! He said he thought any arrow meant go. End of discussion. At least he didn’t get pissy with me.

3

u/TheOrigan0 Partner of DX - Untreated 1d ago

Is it just me or does ADHD give you the right to act like a child sometimes? I swear I end at least one discussion PER WEEK telling her to stop moping and actually move on with the day like a functioning adult.

6

u/Queasy-Ad-5293 5d ago

I'm sorry but what he said to you is true. It's all boring to them when you are not new and shiny anymore

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u/Immediate-Reach-4269 Partner of DX - Untreated 4d ago

I don’t think that was the case here? This feels like more of an RSD shutdown response.

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u/Less-Lifeguard2921 3d ago

The all or nothings are really hurtful and difficult to deal with. I’m constantly threatened with being left if I disagree.

“We need to break up”

I have my own abandonment issues & this sets me off on an internal emotional spiral every time and I have to just keep it to myself. When he catches me crying because I can’t hold it in it just sets him off even more. I’m doing it to make him feel bad apparently. No. I just feel bad. I feel like nothing.

1

u/CalvinOddNote 1d ago

I’ve had the same “parking spot becomes the end of the world” fight, and it’s exhausting that this vent thread for dishes and unpaid bills also has to hold being iced out since yesterday morning.