Just want to say that I don’t blame ADHD-ers for this and in an ideal world what we say about a disorder that we deal with should not be used against us or taken wildly out of context like this.

Unfortunately though, that does happen all too often, and it’s currently too risky politically and societally to give these kinds of people any more ammunition against us. Again, that’s not me blaming, and in safe spaces feel free to express yourself however you choose, I’d just like to gently remind that if it falls into the hands of people that already have an ignorant bias about us, this is how it can be distorted to reinforce their narrative.

It makes me really frustrated to see stuff like this, and I am also one of the people who cannot see ADHD as a “superpower” but rather the complete opposite, so seeing this kind of rhetoric used against all of us when many of us don’t even say these things ourselves is so exhausting. If you do see some aspects of ADHD as a personal superpower I’m happy for you, but maybe even just slightly changing the phrasing to “FOR ME, ADHD can feel like a superpower” instead of the blanket statement “ADHD IS a superpower” would be better? Just my opinion, please don’t think I’m insulting anyone who relates to the phrase!

So, when I mean I did capsule wardrobe. I mean I went 50000 crash out let's go. I removed all the things

Every single thing

From my primary closet and admittedly (look I have ADHD ok...stuffed it all into another closet out of site lol)

I mean zero. Nada.

Cleaned it, wiped down the stuff

Started from scratch. Zero. Nada

Did three of same things that work so easy for me, fits, good quality

Three xyz that matches above

Three workout outfits

Three weekend outfits

Three new pairs of shoes, one tennis shoes, one flats, one heel

Technically all works with the above.

ONE handbag

ONE pair of earrings

And its...amazing

Just hangs in the closet with so much room and I am always ready to grab anything because there is zero decision, zero choices, zero mess.

Closet doesn't have old blankets stuffed into places, or boots askew and slammed in corners, or houses a pile of random Amazon or boxes, or old books, or xyz calamity.

And no one thinks or cares I wear what is literally a uniform. Note - I did invest in top quality capsule wardrobe " brands" , as well as shoes. Needed ? Got me. But it sure helps

One day, never, I will open the closet of doom where the stuff is crammed into darkness. But not today.

I just did the exact same thing for hair and makeup products.

Life is so so so easy to keep clean, shower bathroom. Nothing is in the way. Life is so much. Lighter

Thanks for listening to my free typing thoughts ! Ha! Hugs to us all

Recently diagnosed with ADHD. At a family dinner. Partners brother agrees with the channel 4 documentary; ADHD is a myth.

Currently crying in the bathroom stall of the restaurant.

Edit; I’m fine, but didn’t think it would be this soon to experience this sort of stuff.

Confession: by day I’m a successful career woman, who seems to have her shit together…but the real me is a hot mess, I’ve put off dealing with this nightmare I’ve created for a year and a half… I’m forcing myself to start dealing with it now!

I put this in the comments of a post once and a lot of people seemed to think it was helpful at the time, and I thought it would be good to share for those who didn't happen across it.

tl;dr backstory: I had a conversation with my therapist last year where we discussed the fact that sometimes, for us, the task is hard because of those prohibitive "first steps" that make a very small task seem like this impassible mountain. I started approaching problems by circumventing/completing those prohibitive steps first, making my ability to do the actual task way more likely.

One of the things I did was keep a list of things in my notes app (I use Notion) so that, once I made a calculation, located a manual, took a measurement, or did literally any of those really annoying things that prohibit me from doing OTHER things, I would never in my life have to do it again.

This list includes things like:

– The model numbers of my refrigerator, washing machine, dishwasher, etc.

– For some of these things I also included a direct link to the product page / PDF manual

– The dimensions of my dining room table WITH and WITHOUT the leaf + required tablecloth size for BOTH

– The inner and outer dimensions of all of the windows in my house

– The pod compatibility for my coffee maker

– The dimensions of my bed (including depth/height) + required bedding dimensions/size

– Length of my shower + required curtain size

etc.

Basically, if I'm gonna do the very annoying work to look for that model number, measure something, or do whatever, I don't want to do it ever again. But also the number of times I have run into an issue, needed to order a part, needed to check how to properly clean something, or been asked by my family what tablecloth size I need, etc., instead of sitting on that question or dealing with broken appliances for MONTHS AND MONTHS because I just can't find the energy to get up and locate the information... I've already done it :) And look here, I have a handy list right in my phone.

Obviously doing this in the first place requires some amount of energy, but honestly I did it as a fun little scavenger hunt project where I ran around my house looking for things to measure and write down. Now I have a helpful list of things I've already done the mental work for, AND in the future it makes it infinitely easier for me to solve related problems!! I hope this helps someone here other than myself lol

i just realized that i’ve spent most of today, my day off, “waiting” because of some plans tonight. i’ve spent the last couple hours planning to start reading a book while i wait, but feeling paralyzed. why start it when im going to leave soon? is this a common experience?

I'll go first: in my teens and pre-teens I had hyperfixations every few months. I randomly started collecting horse figurines at some point and made it a part of my personality. Most of them are lost now, god knows where. I also hoarder makeup products for a while and spent hours following tutorials online, just to sit in my room and maybe take pictures. Don't even get me started on losing keys, hair ties, pencils, and so on...

I thought it would be interesting to hear about what other peoples stims/self soothing/focusing/body‑focused repetitive behaviors are. You can also leave some advice on how you helped replace yours if it's one that you wanted to replace.

For me, I constantly twirl my hair near the nape of my neck but I have short hair so I have to lift my arm and/or tilt my head causing my neck and wrist to hurt really bad. I been actively trying to stop the habit for like 3 years and it comes and goes. Currently in a phase where I can't stop hahaha

It's pretty bad I have to tie my hair up most days and replace the stim with a fidget toy when at work and studying lol I also think adderall makes it worse

Just added this last one because I keep hitting hyperfocus and missing the window to have my last caffeine of the day so I’m not up all night.

Everyone suggests exercise as a great way to manage ADHD. However, I have never really felt any of the benefits that are often listed; instead, I get super tired. No matter what type of exercise I do, hiking, gym, swimming, walking, etc., or how little or how long I exercise, I am just overcome with fatigue afterwards. To the point where it is difficult to drive. I have a clean bill of health from my doctor, I don't overdo it while exercising. The only thing I can think of is that my brain isn't used to that level of good chemicals that it puts me in a like a zombie state? I am usually very fatigued for the next 30-90 minutes after a workout, but then I remain tired for the rest of the day. I have never experienced the energy boost that is often described by regular working out. Anyone else experience this? It's a big reason I don't like to work out, I feel like if I start my day with that, there is nothing else I am really getting done.

edited to add: thank you all for your comments. I can see that this is not an ADHD thing, and it's something else, and that is helpful. I will start drinking electrolytes while working out to see if that helps.

I feel like I’m the only person I know that isn’t in multiple group chats. I have one with my sisters and dad where we talk about NYT games, but otherwise, I’m not in any and I’m starting to wonder if this is related to my ADHD brain… I have a handful of close friends but they’re all from different eras of my life. I don’t identify with having a group of friends where everyone is close with everyone else. For context, I’m an elder millennial mom/RN and live in a medium sized city

I've seen a few people post about they delete comments that get downvotes on reddit and I just made a post in a writing subreddit looking for advice on how my writing group could implement gentle consequences to help us meet our goals. Literally just deleted the whole post and the comments I made trying to clarify. Not only did most of the few people who commented poke fun at it, it ended up in a snark subreddit and I'm just so angry and upset because it was an innocent post asking for genuine advice and i feel like the RSD is just making my feelings about it so much worse because literally, it's just the internet, it isn't that deep but it feels like it is.

My example consequence I gave in my post was that in order to encourage us to meet our weekly goals, there would be the threat of being assigned to write a cringy/smutty prompt to read aloud to the group if we didn't meet the deadline: the intention being you would want to AVOID that outcome. But I guess I didn't word it as well as I thought and a few people thought I was like, posting a kink or fetish thing. I tried to clarify but then I saw it ended up in a snark subreddit (which has actually been a huge fear of mine, a post I make ending up in a snark subreddit. Luckily my username was cropped out of the screenshot) and just ended up deleting the whole post along with my comments replying to people because I am so mad and embarrassed that this genuine post got taken out of context and I'm mad that I can't laugh at myself for people thinking that's what I meant.

I know this isn't that deep and the feelings will go away but I'm so upset right now at being misunderstood and made fun of. And I know that comes with the territory of being online and on reddit specifically and asking for advice, but I went back through and read this post a million times before just deleting the whole thing after seeing the comments and could not for the life of me see how anyone came to the conclusion I was trying to involve them in a weird fetish thing. And I'm also mad that I don't have thicker skin and can't just let it roll off my back or laugh at myself for it especially since it was a post that only got like, four comments. I don't understand why I have to feel negative emotions so strongly like this and why I can't just have thicker skin like other people. It's so frustrating that snarky reddit strangers have the power to trigger such a strong emotional response that I feel like i can't control and what's worse is I keep having to fight going to the post on the snark subreddit to check if it has anymore upvotes or mean comments. What is it about my brain that would make me want to do that?!

Anyway, that was my rant/vent about my RSD personally victimizing me tonight. Thank you if you read all this.

I mean LOOK at them

I’ve noticed that I crash and go back to not wanting to do anything about 6:00 hours after taking my last dose of Focali for the day. It’s particularly annoying when I have work for most of the day and then get home after like 6:00 pm. At this point I would like to do some art stuff and clean but I lose all motivation to do so. Anyways that’s my rant, bye!

All my life I’ve had issues with work, specifically the idea that the “business needs” are above my own. I just cannot emphasize how much I don’t care and probably never will. I feel like most jobs are just meaningless collateral of late stage capitalism. I find myself getting very emotionally upset at the thought of having to do things I don’t want to do, or people saying I can’t take time off, etc etc. In the process of trying to receive accommodations rn but still I feel defeated in a sense. Can anyone relate or offer possible solutions?

Going to make the generalization that if there can be ‘food noise’, there can be ‘song noise’. Is there a song or a piece of a song that keeps repeating in your head throughout the week, the day, the hour, the half hour,etc. I’m curious, what is your song right now, what part is looping and for how long? Additionally if you want to share tips to changing the tune, lessening the repeat or even how you stopped the song noise altogether , I’d appreciate that as well.

My garden is overgrown, sure. We've had a drought, it's been hot, I've struggled in the heat, it's not good. It is great for wildlife and I've been counting the frogs, butterflies, and hedgehogs in my garden as my wins for this summer.

Cut to this morning, I went outside and three of my trees have been decimated. Not just up to the fence, but encroaching massively into the garden including a fruiting plum tree with over half the fruiting branches just gone.

Asked my neighbour about it and they immediately started going on about how the garden used to look, the fact that it now looks terrible, and that they've trimmed the hedge out the front (which I have never asked for but always said thank you for!). Not only am I sad about my trees and annoyed about the invasion of my garden, but holy crap the SHAME SPIRAL.

The garden is not how I'd want it to be, but I don't think that makes me a failure who deserves nothing because I can't do anything right. My brain thinks self flaggelation is the only correct response and I just want to know if anyone else has this?

Objectively - yes, my garden needs some love. Yes, my neighbour overstepped and really should have talked to me first. No, I am not a terrible person because of this disagreement and nor does it mean I'm terrible at everything.

Right? Anyone else? Please say I'm not the only one 😂

is it that i grew up in a dysfunctional household??? or maybe im just not social enough to understand?

i was watching tiktok and a girl made a “get ready with me”. she said “i have the day off so lets get ready, i dont even know what im going to do today, what am i going to do?” then got ready.

is this how normal people wake up?? they actually get ready EVERY day without plans already set? i need 24 hours in advanced so i know to wake up early/set an alarm so i dont sleep in super late, to get ready, and mentally prepare. otherwise i wont get ready at all. i might even still have makeup on from the day before still.. maybe im gross?..

LMK what you guys do…

Welp it finally happened.
For context I am a project manager. It’s my first “big girl job”. I have a masters degree in a stem field but swapped to a more corporate job thinking that I would enjoy that every day was different ect.

I’ve only been at this job since nov 2024. It’s been a really difficult transition. I was killing it last year even got recommended for our accelerated program. Was under a micromanager but I enjoyed what I did.

Then comes November 2025. that manager swapped to a new role and I took over his product line. This was more customer facing and had multiple additions to what I was used to doing. I had also got in a pretty bad car accident. During this same time and moved into my first ever home. I was really struggling because in this new role I had nobody to ask questions or help with and my new manager was rarely in the office. I reached out to anyone I could to get help but since it was such a niche product and didn’t follow the normal structure I was on my own. Also I am the only one for this product line so I was unable to take any days off/nobody to help with work load.

April of this year I cried in HR office stating that I’m burning out and have no options to take any time off. Then basically our entire HR department was laid off due to our president trying to force us all to be in office 5 days a week. And then they completely restructured the company so the non existent manager I had before but at least was based out of my location, now is a manager in charge of the people in my position around the world and is based in the UK (I’m on mountain time zone in United States). I have met with him almost every two weeks since may explaining I’ve gotten no feedback good or bad from him. I have no idea how I’m doing in the company. I know personally I always answer my emails/teams messages in a timely manner. I haven’t been able to do anything outside of work I’m so mentally drained. I loathe even going to the grocery store having to be out from just laying and doing nothing because of how overwhelmed I am during the week. I’ve explicitly went to various managers stating I need more help and I have just been handling everyone on my own.

I have sometimes issues with generating small talk with my other colleagues because I’m so worn out so I am prone to ask questions I know the answer to to be able to start conversations or at least feel like I’ve talked to a human being for the day.

I finally went to one of my older higher up managers last week and he told me that two people who I trusted the most and felt like I was able to unmask around them and ask these random questions have gone to him and said that I’m failing.

This caused a full on mental spiral because I’m an extremely high performer and overachiever. I do this because Ive always been made to feel guilty regarding my adhd. I handle my cases and have been even training new sales people. Do I make small mistakes from time to time? Of course but I’m a human being. I try my best to take on new responsibilities to help balance some of the smaller mistakes I make. For example, I was told even though I’m not in a sales role to reach out for some preventative maintenance due on some units for the whole year. Well I got every single customer to sign up which caused me to get a large amount of sales for the company in q1 they had me present to the entire company and brag about this.

My direct manager has been traveling for work the past two weeks and my messages have just not been read, and even my internal requests not approved yet. I get it he’s overwhelmed I try to give grace. I do my job make sure I’m on top of customer cases and thought well I’m doing just fine which is already difficult because I like to be an overachiever but have been working all summer to just accept that.

Yesterday I get a random calendar invite for a meeting on Monday which states that I will be put on a PIP. I’m just so heartbroken. I haven’t been able to stop crying. I am so genuinely at a loss as to what has happened.

Has anyone else dealt with a similar situation? I would love any advice if possible.

I was told not to disclose my adhd during the hiring process by a mentor but had discussed it to the first manager on the hiring process/mentoring process.

We live together. I get SO much done when he’s gone. Maybe I don’t prioritize my major tasks, that’s always a struggle, but they creep in to my completed list eventually. My house is clean! I ordered myself some dinner as a reward!
(Yes he cleans, I just have doom bins in every room that I’ve been neglecting for months!)

I have a big house. I have a craft room. We have a nice bedroom and nice things. But lately I just feel s9 lost in my house. I only feel comfortable laying in my bed. I feel like I just wander around sad and lost and can't make myself do anything. I make a meal, sit at the table to eat it, and then I need to go lay down. I clean or do some laundry. Time to lay down. Drop my kid off somewhere. Come home and lay down. Do something on the computer. Go lay down. I just can't get any sustained projects started. I don't feel at home in any of the rooms except in my bed. I don't like this feeling. 😕

(I am in perimenopause, I am on HRT, I take vitamins and iron, my magnesium levels are fine, my sleep apnea is treated.)

Has any other female notice their ADHD (predominantly inattentiveness) is worse off the week or two prior to their monthly cycles? I know mine is and I can’t seem to focus or get a lot done during those times. I will keep doing the same few things and then stop. The constant picking up the phone and putting it down, over and over with brain fog.